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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:55,683 --> 00:00:56,808 Patrick. 4 00:00:56,809 --> 00:00:57,976 Adeline. 5 00:00:57,977 --> 00:01:01,772 This is going to be the best Valentine's Day ever. 6 00:01:02,481 --> 00:01:03,482 This place... 7 00:01:05,401 --> 00:01:06,819 it's just so gorge. 8 00:01:07,444 --> 00:01:08,820 Of course it is, babe. 9 00:01:08,821 --> 00:01:10,239 - You picked it! - I picked it! 10 00:01:17,288 --> 00:01:18,289 Oh. 11 00:01:18,497 --> 00:01:20,916 Mmm. Mmm. 12 00:01:22,126 --> 00:01:23,294 Mmm. 13 00:01:24,795 --> 00:01:25,796 Mmm? 14 00:01:29,216 --> 00:01:30,217 What the hell? 15 00:01:34,805 --> 00:01:37,056 I told you not to put it in my food. 16 00:01:37,057 --> 00:01:40,394 - Oh, shit. I'm sorry. Sorry, I-- - It's fine. Keep going. 17 00:01:45,524 --> 00:01:46,941 Adeline Delilah Garrett. 18 00:01:46,942 --> 00:01:48,568 You're smart. 19 00:01:48,569 --> 00:01:49,777 You're beautiful. 20 00:01:49,778 --> 00:01:52,197 And perhaps most important of all, 21 00:01:52,198 --> 00:01:53,741 you make me think. 22 00:01:54,867 --> 00:01:58,161 You're my person and I can't imagine my life without you. 23 00:01:58,162 --> 00:01:59,455 Will you marry me? 24 00:02:00,247 --> 00:02:02,708 Yes. A million times, yes! 25 00:02:23,270 --> 00:02:25,439 Why are you calling me right now? 26 00:02:26,690 --> 00:02:27,857 I didn't get it. 27 00:02:27,858 --> 00:02:30,026 What the fuck do you mean you didn't get it? 28 00:02:30,027 --> 00:02:31,319 Yeah, I'm sorry, dude. 29 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,363 There was a couple of sun flares and like... 30 00:02:33,364 --> 00:02:35,532 Um, could you maybe do it again? Or... 31 00:02:35,533 --> 00:02:36,866 Why, yes. 32 00:02:36,867 --> 00:02:38,952 Let me re-propose to my fucking girlfriend 33 00:02:38,953 --> 00:02:40,454 so you can do your job right. 34 00:02:41,705 --> 00:02:44,457 - Technically she's your fiancée. - Don't get cute with me. 35 00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:47,837 Do it right this time or I'll fucking end you... 36 00:02:48,796 --> 00:02:50,505 - on Yelp. - Okay, cool, thanks. 37 00:02:50,506 --> 00:02:53,634 I'll talk to you later. I'm not even on Yelp, dick. 38 00:02:58,806 --> 00:03:02,350 Uh... Speech, speech, speech. Lovey, lovey-dovey. 39 00:03:02,351 --> 00:03:03,435 And... 40 00:03:04,812 --> 00:03:05,895 Will you marry me? 41 00:03:05,896 --> 00:03:08,399 Yes. A million times, yes. 42 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,906 Just one second. 43 00:03:19,034 --> 00:03:21,160 Give me that. Hello? 44 00:03:21,161 --> 00:03:22,912 Nico the Photo Guy. Leave a message. 45 00:03:22,913 --> 00:03:24,874 Are you fucking kidding... me? 46 00:04:02,036 --> 00:04:03,037 No! 47 00:04:33,484 --> 00:04:34,485 Hello? 48 00:04:39,198 --> 00:04:40,699 You listen here, asshole. 49 00:04:44,078 --> 00:04:46,664 I have been planning this day my whole life... 50 00:04:48,249 --> 00:04:50,042 and you fucking killed him! 51 00:04:51,836 --> 00:04:53,754 You messed with the wrong bride. 52 00:04:55,172 --> 00:04:56,173 You hear me? 53 00:04:57,132 --> 00:04:59,051 You messed with the wrong fu-- 54 00:05:25,828 --> 00:05:27,787 Whoa, ma'am, you can't be here. What are you doing? 55 00:05:27,788 --> 00:05:29,957 - He's trying to kill me! - Please, just calm down. 56 00:05:32,209 --> 00:05:34,378 Hey, buddy, you wanna tell me what's going on? 57 00:05:36,547 --> 00:05:38,841 Wait. Stop! Drop the knife, asshole! 58 00:05:44,513 --> 00:05:47,474 Somebody! Please! 59 00:06:16,337 --> 00:06:17,379 Shoot. 60 00:07:05,845 --> 00:07:07,763 Take that, you motherfucker! 61 00:07:08,973 --> 00:07:09,974 Go away! 62 00:07:11,475 --> 00:07:12,560 You go away! 63 00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:16,021 You go away! 64 00:07:16,856 --> 00:07:17,857 You go away! 65 00:07:25,906 --> 00:07:26,907 No. 66 00:07:28,742 --> 00:07:30,619 No, no, no, no, no, no, no... 67 00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:33,621 No, no, no, no, no. Please! 68 00:07:33,622 --> 00:07:35,124 Hey! Hey! 69 00:07:37,793 --> 00:07:38,794 No! 70 00:07:46,385 --> 00:07:47,386 No! 71 00:07:50,431 --> 00:07:51,432 No! 72 00:07:52,224 --> 00:07:54,351 No! 73 00:08:49,782 --> 00:08:51,115 It's Valentine's Day 74 00:08:51,116 --> 00:08:53,869 and the nation is once again on high alert. 75 00:08:55,454 --> 00:08:58,122 {\an8}For the past two years, a masked maniac 76 00:08:58,123 --> 00:08:59,832 {\an8}known as the Heart Eyes Killer... 77 00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:03,336 {\an8}...or HEK, as authorities call him for short, 78 00:09:03,337 --> 00:09:05,713 {\an8}has emerged on a day meant for romance 79 00:09:05,714 --> 00:09:08,341 {\an8}to target, hunt and brutally kill couples. 80 00:09:08,342 --> 00:09:10,969 {\an8}HEK seems to target cities at random. 81 00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:12,345 {\an8}From a blood-soaked rampage 82 00:09:12,346 --> 00:09:13,930 {\an8}in the Boston area two years ago... 83 00:09:13,931 --> 00:09:16,057 {\an8}...as well as a second killing spree, 84 00:09:16,058 --> 00:09:19,060 {\an8}which left several dead in Philadelphia just last year. 85 00:09:19,061 --> 00:09:22,063 {\an8}Even though he's after couples in love, 86 00:09:22,064 --> 00:09:24,274 {\an8}let me be perfectly clear about this... 87 00:09:24,275 --> 00:09:28,404 He will kill anyone who gets in his way. 88 00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:32,031 {\an8}...leaving Americans once again plagued with anxiety 89 00:09:32,032 --> 00:09:34,117 {\an8}on Cupid's holiday asking the question... 90 00:09:34,118 --> 00:09:37,204 {\an8}Where will the Heart Eyes Killer strike next? 91 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,418 {\an8}Do you expect the Heart Eyes Killer 92 00:09:43,419 --> 00:09:45,503 {\an8}to kill your Valentine's Day plans? 93 00:09:45,504 --> 00:09:47,797 {\an8}Who the hell makes Valentine's Day plans? 94 00:09:47,798 --> 00:09:49,507 {\an8}Yeah, this holiday sucks ass, dude. 95 00:09:49,508 --> 00:09:51,050 {\an8}- Literally. - Fuck Valentine... 96 00:09:51,051 --> 00:09:52,719 {\an8}I ain't even low-key scared. 97 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,180 {\an8}The HEK ain't got nothin' on me. You know, 'cause I-- 98 00:09:55,181 --> 00:09:57,141 {\an8}Shut up, Dylan. You're afraid of the dark. 99 00:09:59,268 --> 00:10:00,352 {\an8}No, I don't. 100 00:10:03,355 --> 00:10:05,523 - The Heart Eyes Killer-- - So glad I'm single. 101 00:10:05,524 --> 00:10:07,609 - I'm gonna celebrate inside. - That dude hunts you. 102 00:10:07,610 --> 00:10:10,195 ...rubbing your shitty PDA all up in our face-- 103 00:10:10,196 --> 00:10:11,487 He only kills straight people, I think. 104 00:10:11,488 --> 00:10:14,532 Whether you're with a partner or looking for love, 105 00:10:14,533 --> 00:10:17,244 stay vigilant this Valentine's Day. 106 00:10:37,556 --> 00:10:38,557 Shit! 107 00:10:41,727 --> 00:10:43,811 - Nice one, dipshits. - Got a cappuccino here. 108 00:10:43,812 --> 00:10:45,939 Hope Cupid shoots you in the dick. 109 00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:47,815 Caramel soy latte for Monica! 110 00:10:47,816 --> 00:10:49,985 - Oh, that's me. - Okay, yeah. There. 111 00:10:51,987 --> 00:10:53,404 Why do you look so stressed? 112 00:10:53,405 --> 00:10:55,657 Is it 'cause you're single again on Valentine's Day? 113 00:10:55,658 --> 00:10:58,576 No, I'm... I'm stressed because Crystal just called 114 00:10:58,577 --> 00:11:00,662 an all-hands meeting and the subject of her email 115 00:11:00,663 --> 00:11:02,205 literally says "Ally's Campaign." 116 00:11:02,206 --> 00:11:03,623 - Hmm. I saw that. - So, I'm fucked. 117 00:11:03,624 --> 00:11:05,291 Okay, worst-case scenario, 118 00:11:05,292 --> 00:11:08,169 you get fired and you never work another day in your life. 119 00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:11,130 Worst-case scenario, Crystal wears my skin as a pantsuit. 120 00:11:11,131 --> 00:11:13,383 Best-case scenario, you got nice skin though. 121 00:11:13,384 --> 00:11:14,509 Boop. 122 00:11:14,510 --> 00:11:16,010 You know what? Whatever. 123 00:11:16,011 --> 00:11:18,137 If you go down, I'll go down with you. Okay? 124 00:11:18,138 --> 00:11:19,556 We'll Thelma and Louise this shit. 125 00:11:19,557 --> 00:11:21,057 Large iced blended Americano 126 00:11:21,058 --> 00:11:23,602 with oat milk, two honey, one sugar. 127 00:11:25,813 --> 00:11:27,438 Sorry, are you sure that's yours? 128 00:11:27,439 --> 00:11:30,483 Yes, that is definitely mine. 129 00:11:30,484 --> 00:11:33,361 No one else would order a large iced blended Americano 130 00:11:33,362 --> 00:11:35,989 with oat milk, two honey, one sugar. 131 00:11:35,990 --> 00:11:38,492 Sugar. Yeah. Look at that. Wow. 132 00:11:39,368 --> 00:11:40,911 Guess we're coffee mates. 133 00:11:42,288 --> 00:11:44,205 - Nice dad joke. - Thanks. 134 00:11:44,206 --> 00:11:45,665 I thought I was the only one in the world 135 00:11:45,666 --> 00:11:47,417 with the most obnoxious coffee order. 136 00:11:47,418 --> 00:11:49,043 It's a pretty common order actually. 137 00:11:49,044 --> 00:11:50,462 Can you guys move? We're busy. 138 00:11:51,255 --> 00:11:52,256 Yes. 139 00:11:53,674 --> 00:11:54,675 He's hot! 140 00:11:58,512 --> 00:12:00,889 Hey, can I interest you in one of these guys? 141 00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:03,349 Oh, no, I'm okay. Thanks. I carry my own. 142 00:12:03,350 --> 00:12:05,810 - Oh. Metal straw. - I hate paper straws. 143 00:12:05,811 --> 00:12:08,188 They just turn into mush in, like, three seconds. 144 00:12:08,189 --> 00:12:10,857 Yeah, no. I totally get what you're saying. 145 00:12:10,858 --> 00:12:13,067 Let's put all the coffee in a plastic cup, 146 00:12:13,068 --> 00:12:15,945 but, hey, as long as the straw is paper, planet saved. 147 00:12:15,946 --> 00:12:17,822 Planet saved. 148 00:12:17,823 --> 00:12:20,783 - Uh, sugar though. Want one? - Yeah. 149 00:12:20,784 --> 00:12:21,868 A little slow poison 150 00:12:21,869 --> 00:12:22,952 - for the pancreas. Oh. - Oh. 151 00:12:22,953 --> 00:12:24,537 - Ooh! - Oh! 152 00:12:24,538 --> 00:12:27,498 - I'm sorry. No, I'm-- - I'm sorry. No, I'm-- Sorry. 153 00:12:27,499 --> 00:12:30,084 - I got it. It's okay. - No, it's totally-- 154 00:12:30,085 --> 00:12:31,628 - Fucking Jesus Murphy! - Oh, Shit! 155 00:12:31,629 --> 00:12:32,795 Oh, my God. Are you okay? 156 00:12:32,796 --> 00:12:35,048 - Yeah. Am I? - Oh, my God. You're bleeding! 157 00:12:35,049 --> 00:12:37,509 - Here. Shit. Uh-- - Oh-- Thank you for that. 158 00:12:37,510 --> 00:12:39,969 Bye. Um, I'm gonna go. I'll see you at work, Mon. 159 00:12:39,970 --> 00:12:41,680 Sorry. She's getting fired today. 160 00:12:42,556 --> 00:12:45,558 Exactly one year after a Valentine's Day massacre 161 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,144 left three couples dead in Boston 162 00:12:48,145 --> 00:12:50,396 and four couples dead in Philadelphia, 163 00:12:50,397 --> 00:12:53,359 the Heart Eyes Killer has come to Seattle. 164 00:12:53,484 --> 00:12:56,236 Four victims have now been claimed at a winery, 165 00:12:56,237 --> 00:12:58,572 ending one dream engagement 166 00:12:59,657 --> 00:13:00,865 in a nightmare. 167 00:13:00,866 --> 00:13:03,660 {\an8}Chief Hartley, is this the work of the Heart Eyes Killer? 168 00:13:03,661 --> 00:13:05,370 {\an8}That's not confirmed at this point, 169 00:13:05,371 --> 00:13:07,413 {\an8}but given the pattern of targeting couples 170 00:13:07,414 --> 00:13:10,041 {\an8}on Valentine's Day, we suspect it's the work of HEK. 171 00:13:10,042 --> 00:13:12,126 {\an8}What do you have to say to all those couples out there 172 00:13:12,127 --> 00:13:14,421 {\an8}planning to celebrate Valentine's Day? 173 00:13:15,214 --> 00:13:16,215 {\an8}Stay home. 174 00:13:17,883 --> 00:13:18,884 {\an8}Well. 175 00:13:21,512 --> 00:13:22,930 This is quite a pickle. 176 00:13:28,477 --> 00:13:32,438 Why didn't a single one of you 177 00:13:32,439 --> 00:13:35,608 tell me that there is a maniac 178 00:13:35,609 --> 00:13:38,111 running around slaughtering people 179 00:13:38,112 --> 00:13:41,447 on Valentine's Day these last couple years? 180 00:13:41,448 --> 00:13:42,866 Tommy? 181 00:13:42,867 --> 00:13:46,870 Not a single one of you. 182 00:13:46,871 --> 00:13:50,123 This campaign is certainly ill-timed. 183 00:13:50,124 --> 00:13:51,834 Wouldn't you say so, missy? 184 00:13:52,877 --> 00:13:55,254 Uh... Um... 185 00:13:57,047 --> 00:13:58,715 - I mean-- - You know, Crystal, 186 00:13:58,716 --> 00:14:00,550 how you always tell us 187 00:14:00,551 --> 00:14:02,886 that relevance is really important in our pitches? 188 00:14:02,887 --> 00:14:08,266 Well, I personally believe that Ally's campaign is very "now." 189 00:14:08,267 --> 00:14:10,185 Monica, thank you so much. 190 00:14:10,186 --> 00:14:12,438 If you could do me a huge favor. Shut the fuck up. 191 00:14:14,565 --> 00:14:15,566 Tommy? 192 00:14:52,102 --> 00:14:56,272 "Wow. Profiting off the death of couples to sell rings." 193 00:14:56,273 --> 00:14:57,690 "Speechless." 194 00:14:57,691 --> 00:15:00,068 - "This is disgusting." - I'll say. 195 00:15:00,069 --> 00:15:01,903 "What did I just watch?" 196 00:15:01,904 --> 00:15:03,238 "Straight-up tacky." 197 00:15:03,239 --> 00:15:07,534 "Someone find out who made this and dox their ignorant ass." 198 00:15:07,535 --> 00:15:09,744 - I mean, it just... it goes on. - I'm sure it does. 199 00:15:09,745 --> 00:15:12,081 Ally, I'm worried about your safety. 200 00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:16,376 Gee, thanks, Tommy. 201 00:15:16,377 --> 00:15:19,212 How many people has this heart-shaped asshole killed? 202 00:15:19,213 --> 00:15:21,548 I think, like, a lot. 203 00:15:21,549 --> 00:15:22,758 A lot? 204 00:15:24,385 --> 00:15:29,180 You built a nationwide campaign around romance ending in death? 205 00:15:29,181 --> 00:15:30,723 Well, you approved it. 206 00:15:30,724 --> 00:15:32,892 Because I trusted you. 207 00:15:32,893 --> 00:15:34,853 I'm gonna need a new campaign. 208 00:15:34,854 --> 00:15:38,232 - Okay. Um, no problem. I'll-- - Jay, get in here. 209 00:15:39,358 --> 00:15:41,067 Jay? Who's Jay? 210 00:15:41,068 --> 00:15:42,736 Thank you very much. 211 00:15:44,113 --> 00:15:45,321 No way. 212 00:15:45,322 --> 00:15:47,574 That's the guy whose nose you smashed 213 00:15:47,575 --> 00:15:49,284 - in at the coffee shop. - Mon, sit down. 214 00:15:49,285 --> 00:15:51,786 Jay Simmonds, everybody. This is Jay Simmonds. 215 00:15:51,787 --> 00:15:53,329 Who is Jay Simmonds? Well, I'll tell you. 216 00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:57,125 Jay Simmonds is the former CCD of BMY New York. 217 00:15:57,126 --> 00:16:01,212 He is the youngest freelancer to win a Clio Award 218 00:16:01,213 --> 00:16:03,381 for his viral romantic campaigns. 219 00:16:03,382 --> 00:16:08,094 Everything from fancy cars to luxury chocolates. 220 00:16:08,095 --> 00:16:10,305 And, he has then earned himself 221 00:16:10,306 --> 00:16:14,058 a nice little moniker of "Consumer Cupid." 222 00:16:14,059 --> 00:16:15,727 That is Jay Simmonds, 223 00:16:15,728 --> 00:16:16,811 and I'll tell you what. 224 00:16:16,812 --> 00:16:19,439 When I realized how far up shit's creek 225 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,232 Ally here had paddled us, 226 00:16:21,233 --> 00:16:23,443 I knew I needed some reinforcements. 227 00:16:23,444 --> 00:16:25,613 And thank Baby Jesus. 228 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,531 Now, he's gotta leave and push off tomorrow 229 00:16:28,532 --> 00:16:31,534 and skedaddle, so he's on the clock. 230 00:16:31,535 --> 00:16:33,203 Jay. Everybody, Jay! 231 00:16:33,204 --> 00:16:35,872 Thank you for the lovely flattery, Crystal. 232 00:16:35,873 --> 00:16:37,499 I appreciate it. Um... 233 00:16:38,876 --> 00:16:40,210 Listen, as I understand it, 234 00:16:40,211 --> 00:16:42,545 we've experienced some turbulence as of late, 235 00:16:42,546 --> 00:16:46,216 but it's all about how you land the plane that matters, so... 236 00:16:46,217 --> 00:16:47,843 we will get through this... 237 00:16:49,136 --> 00:16:50,137 together. 238 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:57,727 - What the hell was that? - I got a match. 239 00:16:57,728 --> 00:16:59,855 Oh, for fuck sakes. 240 00:17:03,275 --> 00:17:06,445 We're gonna get married. I can feel it. 241 00:17:09,572 --> 00:17:10,908 That's your boyfriend? 242 00:17:11,867 --> 00:17:12,992 Yeah, he will be. 243 00:17:12,993 --> 00:17:15,745 He's an actual firefighter who loves puppies. 244 00:17:18,791 --> 00:17:21,542 You see? That's why you're still single. 245 00:17:21,543 --> 00:17:23,044 You know what you need, Shaw? 246 00:17:25,673 --> 00:17:27,007 You need a real man. 247 00:17:28,551 --> 00:17:30,678 One that's willing to make the first move. 248 00:17:34,098 --> 00:17:37,101 Come on, detectives. You're gonna love this. 249 00:17:38,435 --> 00:17:39,436 Check it out. 250 00:17:40,855 --> 00:17:42,565 What is that, a wedding band? 251 00:17:43,023 --> 00:17:44,691 Could it be one of the victim's? 252 00:17:44,692 --> 00:17:45,985 Unlikely. 253 00:17:49,446 --> 00:17:52,741 The initials engraved on the inside... JS. 254 00:17:53,409 --> 00:17:55,536 Doesn't match either of the deceased. 255 00:18:07,089 --> 00:18:09,465 What kind of an animal would do this? 256 00:18:09,466 --> 00:18:14,304 Probably some incel virgin troll living in his mommy's basement. 257 00:18:14,305 --> 00:18:15,598 Assuming it's a man. 258 00:18:16,891 --> 00:18:19,267 What about the girl who never got asked to prom? 259 00:18:19,268 --> 00:18:20,685 The-- The love-scorned woman 260 00:18:20,686 --> 00:18:23,313 who got cheated on one too many times 261 00:18:23,314 --> 00:18:25,356 and just snapped. 262 00:18:25,357 --> 00:18:26,609 Oh, fuck. 263 00:18:27,818 --> 00:18:29,986 Oh. Yes. He replied. 264 00:18:29,987 --> 00:18:31,237 The gay fireman? 265 00:18:31,238 --> 00:18:33,156 No, no. This guy works in tech. 266 00:18:33,157 --> 00:18:36,409 - Shaw's got a fetish for betas. - I don't have a fetish. 267 00:18:36,410 --> 00:18:38,328 Everybody's got a fetish. 268 00:18:38,329 --> 00:18:41,332 Gentlemen, this is more than just a simple murder. 269 00:18:42,583 --> 00:18:43,584 It's a... 270 00:18:47,087 --> 00:18:48,088 ...kink. 271 00:18:48,506 --> 00:18:51,466 That's the understatement of the fucking year. 272 00:18:51,467 --> 00:18:53,510 How do you know for sure it's HEK? 273 00:18:53,511 --> 00:18:55,054 Here you go, Detective. 274 00:18:57,806 --> 00:18:59,098 'Cause this is the last thing 275 00:18:59,099 --> 00:19:00,935 the wedding photographer ever saw. 276 00:19:04,271 --> 00:19:06,481 Heart Eyes has come to our city, boys. 277 00:19:06,482 --> 00:19:07,899 And they've got another ten hours 278 00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:09,985 of Valentine's Day left to kill. 279 00:19:15,533 --> 00:19:17,743 Excuse me. What in hell are you doing? 280 00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:21,788 What do you mean? You just fired me in front of the whole team. 281 00:19:21,789 --> 00:19:24,541 Fired you? I got six more months on your contract. 282 00:19:24,542 --> 00:19:28,002 I intend to squeeze every single last drop out of you. 283 00:19:28,003 --> 00:19:30,171 Okay. Great. So what am I supposed to do? 284 00:19:30,172 --> 00:19:32,799 Get him coffee while he lands the plane? 285 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,677 No. You're gonna turn in a sizzling, 286 00:19:35,678 --> 00:19:38,930 sexy, seductive, blockbuster 287 00:19:38,931 --> 00:19:40,473 Crystal Cane campaign. 288 00:19:40,474 --> 00:19:43,561 And if you don't, I'll kill you. 289 00:19:47,064 --> 00:19:49,023 I'm kidding. I won't. I'll blacklist you, though. 290 00:19:49,024 --> 00:19:50,483 I won't kill you. 291 00:19:50,484 --> 00:19:51,569 I mean, maybe. 292 00:19:52,319 --> 00:19:53,320 But no. 293 00:19:53,988 --> 00:19:54,989 But would I? 294 00:19:57,658 --> 00:19:59,993 "Whoever made this, I hope you get 295 00:19:59,994 --> 00:20:02,787 "murdered and canceled. Not in that order." 296 00:20:02,788 --> 00:20:04,330 "Hashtag do better." 297 00:20:04,331 --> 00:20:06,374 "As someone who may die someday, 298 00:20:06,375 --> 00:20:07,959 "I find this commercial 299 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,962 "to be tone-deaf and borderline ableist." 300 00:20:10,963 --> 00:20:12,464 Wow, people are fucking dumb. 301 00:20:13,549 --> 00:20:16,467 {\an8}"The only thing deader than the couples in this ad 302 00:20:16,468 --> 00:20:19,304 "is the brain cell of the person who created it." 303 00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:22,432 "The level of cringe in this video is off the charts. 304 00:20:22,433 --> 00:20:23,933 "Hashtag just stop." 305 00:20:23,934 --> 00:20:25,019 Hey, Ally? 306 00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:28,981 - Yeah? - Howdy. 307 00:20:30,441 --> 00:20:31,816 Jay? Wha-- 308 00:20:31,817 --> 00:20:34,819 This is the women's bathroom, dude. You can't be in here. 309 00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:37,740 Technically, it is a unisex bathroom, but... 310 00:20:38,574 --> 00:20:39,575 can we talk? 311 00:20:42,786 --> 00:20:44,413 - Hi. - Hi. 312 00:20:44,914 --> 00:20:45,915 I'm... 313 00:20:47,416 --> 00:20:49,209 I am really sorry about earlier. 314 00:20:49,210 --> 00:20:51,461 Oh, no, it's totally fine. 315 00:20:51,462 --> 00:20:53,463 Sorry to stalk and run, 316 00:20:53,464 --> 00:20:55,340 but I'm trying to make this yoga class 317 00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,258 that starts in, like, an hour. 318 00:20:57,259 --> 00:20:59,010 You serious? Yoga? 319 00:20:59,011 --> 00:21:00,095 Mmm-hmm. 320 00:21:00,930 --> 00:21:03,056 Aren't we supposed to be saving the company? 321 00:21:03,057 --> 00:21:06,518 Yes, and we will. Just after yoga. 322 00:21:06,519 --> 00:21:09,104 I booked us a table at L'oie. 323 00:21:09,980 --> 00:21:12,357 We get inspired, talk about the campaign. 324 00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:15,193 You realize that it's Valentine's Day, right? 325 00:21:15,194 --> 00:21:17,237 Oh, that's right. 326 00:21:17,238 --> 00:21:19,281 You probably got plans, don't you? 327 00:21:20,908 --> 00:21:22,283 - No. - Well, great! 328 00:21:22,284 --> 00:21:24,327 It'll be a great place for some field research. 329 00:21:24,328 --> 00:21:25,745 Romance, flowers, candles-- 330 00:21:25,746 --> 00:21:27,539 Do you think that maybe we could just do this tomorrow? 331 00:21:27,540 --> 00:21:29,290 Uh, see, I would love to do tomorrow, 332 00:21:29,291 --> 00:21:30,667 I just have to take the first flight 333 00:21:30,668 --> 00:21:32,961 out in the morning for my best friend's wedding. 334 00:21:32,962 --> 00:21:35,171 So, how about this? We'll call it 08:00 sharp, 335 00:21:35,172 --> 00:21:36,798 and I'll see you there. Yeah? I'm excited. 336 00:21:36,799 --> 00:21:38,926 - No, no, I-- - It's gonna be great! 337 00:21:40,719 --> 00:21:41,803 Oh, thank you so much. 338 00:21:41,804 --> 00:21:45,890 Uh, no, Mon. Let me get this. You're, like, $100,000 in debt. 339 00:21:45,891 --> 00:21:47,059 Not anymore. 340 00:21:47,768 --> 00:21:50,103 Arthur paid it off. And I get to keep the card. 341 00:21:50,104 --> 00:21:51,856 - Are you serious? - Mmm-hmm. 342 00:21:52,648 --> 00:21:55,859 Damn. Someone likes a little sugar with their daddy. 343 00:21:55,860 --> 00:21:59,028 A-ha. Excuse me, Ally. I do not have a sugar daddy. 344 00:21:59,029 --> 00:22:00,906 That term is very problematic. 345 00:22:02,324 --> 00:22:03,325 I have a sponsor. 346 00:22:04,118 --> 00:22:07,745 And do you love your sponsor, or is he just erasing your debt? 347 00:22:07,746 --> 00:22:11,291 Yes, I love him. And I love that he's erasing my debt. 348 00:22:11,292 --> 00:22:14,419 So, when am I gonna meet this secret Hugh Hefner? 349 00:22:14,420 --> 00:22:15,753 Shall we all get dinner soon? 350 00:22:15,754 --> 00:22:18,006 What do you say, like, 4:30? Soup? 351 00:22:18,007 --> 00:22:19,549 Ha-ha. Real clever, Miss Judgy Judy, 352 00:22:19,550 --> 00:22:21,259 while you're literally stalking your ex online. 353 00:22:21,260 --> 00:22:23,511 I'm not stalking him. 354 00:22:23,512 --> 00:22:26,431 The algorithm is stalking me, okay? 355 00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:28,975 - It's the algorithm? - Hey, is Arthur Heart Eyes? 356 00:22:28,976 --> 00:22:31,020 Is that why I haven't met him yet? 357 00:22:31,770 --> 00:22:33,272 That's not fucking funny. 358 00:22:37,568 --> 00:22:39,027 Of course Arthur's not Heart Eyes. 359 00:22:39,028 --> 00:22:41,029 That guy has so much arthritis, he can't run. 360 00:22:41,030 --> 00:22:42,989 - Honestly, I bet it's Crystal. - Hmm. 361 00:22:42,990 --> 00:22:44,199 You know when she does that, 362 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:45,700 - like, thing... - Mmm-hmm. 363 00:22:45,701 --> 00:22:47,953 ...when her Botox doesn't sit right and it gets stuck? 364 00:22:50,831 --> 00:22:53,374 {\an8}Breaking news. Our Channel 7 affiliate 365 00:22:53,375 --> 00:22:56,794 {\an8}is reporting that two more couples have been found murdered 366 00:22:56,795 --> 00:22:58,296 {\an8}at a downtown spa. 367 00:22:58,297 --> 00:23:00,423 We go live to the scene in Seattle. 368 00:23:00,424 --> 00:23:01,508 Can't watch this. 369 00:23:01,509 --> 00:23:03,384 Thanks, Mike. We have confirmed reports... 370 00:23:03,385 --> 00:23:04,511 Ally. 371 00:23:04,512 --> 00:23:07,514 - Ally, hello? Hey, ho. - Monica! 372 00:23:07,515 --> 00:23:09,140 Oh, my God. Why are you torturing yourself? 373 00:23:09,141 --> 00:23:10,475 You're the one who ended things. 374 00:23:10,476 --> 00:23:13,311 I know. He just moved on so fast. 375 00:23:13,312 --> 00:23:14,562 I mean, what even is her job? 376 00:23:14,563 --> 00:23:16,397 Look at her feed. It's all vacation pics. 377 00:23:16,398 --> 00:23:18,608 And she doesn't even have rich parents. I checked. 378 00:23:18,609 --> 00:23:19,984 You need to stop hate-fucking yourself 379 00:23:19,985 --> 00:23:21,319 and get out there and actually find someone 380 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:22,946 to actually fuck-fuck yourself, you know? 381 00:23:22,947 --> 00:23:24,280 - No. - Oh, what about that guy? 382 00:23:24,281 --> 00:23:25,448 He's so cute. 383 00:23:25,449 --> 00:23:27,659 The-- The bathroom boy. You know? Your little stalker? 384 00:23:27,660 --> 00:23:29,619 You mean the guy trying to take my job? 385 00:23:29,620 --> 00:23:30,913 Oh, my fuck. 386 00:23:31,914 --> 00:23:34,333 He is so hot, I could literally throw up. 387 00:23:35,459 --> 00:23:37,044 My basement just flooded. 388 00:23:38,879 --> 00:23:40,172 He's okay. 389 00:23:40,548 --> 00:23:42,882 Wait, what are you wearing on this date? 390 00:23:42,883 --> 00:23:44,467 It's not a date. 391 00:23:44,468 --> 00:23:47,011 We're working. And what's wrong with my clothes? 392 00:23:47,012 --> 00:23:50,223 - You look like a before picture. - Monica! That is so mean! 393 00:23:50,224 --> 00:23:51,474 Okay, this place, what's the vibe? 394 00:23:51,475 --> 00:23:52,809 Is it, what, fancy? 395 00:23:52,810 --> 00:23:55,479 - Yeah, it's fancy. Why? - Come on. 396 00:23:56,272 --> 00:23:57,772 Where are we going? 397 00:23:57,773 --> 00:23:59,984 We're gonna go fuck up a credit card. 398 00:24:12,454 --> 00:24:13,913 - It's gorgeous. - So much skin. 399 00:24:13,914 --> 00:24:15,039 - Hike it up a little bit. - It's so much skin. 400 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:16,917 - It can go shorter. - Monica, no! It's not a date. 401 00:24:34,643 --> 00:24:35,769 No. 402 00:24:45,487 --> 00:24:48,740 Hi. Uh, reservation for Simmonds. 403 00:24:48,741 --> 00:24:50,492 Of course. AJ? 404 00:24:52,286 --> 00:24:53,287 Arms out, please. 405 00:24:56,707 --> 00:24:59,042 - What gives? - Heart Eyes. 406 00:24:59,043 --> 00:25:00,377 Can't be too careful. 407 00:25:09,845 --> 00:25:11,639 I'm environmentally conscious. 408 00:25:23,859 --> 00:25:25,693 Sharp, my ass. 409 00:25:25,694 --> 00:25:27,695 You look so beautiful tonight, darling. 410 00:25:27,696 --> 00:25:30,032 Happy Valentine's. I really mean that. 411 00:25:32,243 --> 00:25:34,619 Good evening, miss. Will anyone else be joining you? 412 00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:36,747 Uh, yes. Um, a friend. 413 00:25:37,373 --> 00:25:38,581 A colleague. 414 00:25:38,582 --> 00:25:41,209 It's a-- It's a work dinner. 415 00:25:41,210 --> 00:25:42,961 Well, I'll be back with the specials 416 00:25:42,962 --> 00:25:44,128 once your date arrives. 417 00:25:44,129 --> 00:25:45,840 Oh, no, no, no. He's not my date. 418 00:26:06,151 --> 00:26:09,904 I am so sorry that I am late. I tried to get a car. 419 00:26:09,905 --> 00:26:12,115 And for what it's worth, I had no idea this place 420 00:26:12,116 --> 00:26:13,909 was gonna be this nice, but... 421 00:26:14,869 --> 00:26:17,204 - You look amazing. - Thank you. 422 00:26:18,664 --> 00:26:20,248 Welcome to L'oie. 423 00:26:20,249 --> 00:26:21,791 May I offer you a beverage? 424 00:26:21,792 --> 00:26:24,043 - Um, I'm good. Thank you. - Yeah, please. How about 425 00:26:24,044 --> 00:26:26,337 a bottle of champagne, maybe two glasses? 426 00:26:26,338 --> 00:26:27,589 Oh, uh, no, no, no. I'm sorry. 427 00:26:27,590 --> 00:26:30,758 - No offense, but we're working. - None taken. 428 00:26:30,759 --> 00:26:31,969 I'll be right back. 429 00:26:33,345 --> 00:26:34,972 So, where you from? 430 00:26:36,599 --> 00:26:38,016 Uh, Phoenix. 431 00:26:38,017 --> 00:26:39,310 Do you have siblings? 432 00:26:40,060 --> 00:26:41,060 No. 433 00:26:41,061 --> 00:26:43,105 Are your parents still together? 434 00:26:44,231 --> 00:26:45,481 Mmm-hmm. 435 00:26:45,482 --> 00:26:46,774 Well, that's nice. 436 00:26:46,775 --> 00:26:49,110 Yeah, I'd love to grow old with somebody. 437 00:26:49,111 --> 00:26:50,445 Change their Depends? 438 00:26:50,446 --> 00:26:51,529 You know, 439 00:26:51,530 --> 00:26:54,782 I don't immediately go to poop when I think about love, 440 00:26:54,783 --> 00:26:57,785 but yeah. I would change an adult diaper 441 00:26:57,786 --> 00:26:59,705 if it was in the name of love. 442 00:27:07,129 --> 00:27:08,130 Here we are. 443 00:27:08,631 --> 00:27:10,048 - Thank you. - Thank you. 444 00:27:10,049 --> 00:27:11,383 - Miss? - Yeah. 445 00:27:12,468 --> 00:27:14,303 Didn't want any, but thank you. 446 00:27:16,263 --> 00:27:17,473 And for you, sir? 447 00:27:19,892 --> 00:27:22,060 - Thank you very much. - Enjoy. 448 00:27:22,061 --> 00:27:23,145 What do you say? 449 00:27:24,563 --> 00:27:25,564 To love? 450 00:27:29,944 --> 00:27:30,945 Okay. 451 00:27:32,363 --> 00:27:34,864 - Listen, this is all very cute. - Mmm-hmm. 452 00:27:34,865 --> 00:27:36,616 - And you're smooth. - Oh, thanks. 453 00:27:36,617 --> 00:27:38,785 But I'm just trying to salvage whatever's left 454 00:27:38,786 --> 00:27:40,662 of my career here, so can we skip 455 00:27:40,663 --> 00:27:43,414 whatever this is and get to cracking this campaign? 456 00:27:43,415 --> 00:27:44,707 - By all means. - Okay. 457 00:27:44,708 --> 00:27:46,251 I have a couple ideas in here. 458 00:27:46,252 --> 00:27:49,003 Some probably suck, but I'm sure there's a kernel-- 459 00:27:49,004 --> 00:27:50,881 You've had your heart broken recently. 460 00:27:52,842 --> 00:27:55,385 - I'm sorry, what? - No, I just like to think 461 00:27:55,386 --> 00:27:58,264 I'm intuitive with these things and... 462 00:27:59,431 --> 00:28:02,600 Ew. Yeah, no. I did not get my heart 463 00:28:02,601 --> 00:28:04,185 - broken recently. - Mmm-hmm. 464 00:28:04,186 --> 00:28:05,645 And it's really none of your business. 465 00:28:05,646 --> 00:28:07,188 Oh, you're totally right, it's not. 466 00:28:07,189 --> 00:28:08,857 - Definitely not. Okay. - Nope. 467 00:28:08,858 --> 00:28:11,443 - Um... - It's just your campaign. 468 00:28:12,486 --> 00:28:16,156 Doomed lovers? I mean, it hardly screams romance to me. 469 00:28:17,533 --> 00:28:20,243 The most romantic stories of all time are doomed. 470 00:28:20,244 --> 00:28:22,704 You got husbands, wives, 471 00:28:22,705 --> 00:28:24,455 partners, twin flames, soulmates. 472 00:28:24,456 --> 00:28:27,333 Whatever you wanna call it, it's all gonna end. 473 00:28:27,334 --> 00:28:28,835 It's just a matter of time before 474 00:28:28,836 --> 00:28:30,461 someone cheats, bails, or dies. 475 00:28:30,462 --> 00:28:33,006 What about butterflies in your stomach? 476 00:28:33,007 --> 00:28:35,550 A lightning bolt to the heart? 477 00:28:35,551 --> 00:28:37,135 Cozy Sundays in bed? 478 00:28:37,136 --> 00:28:39,804 What's next, birth charts and long walks on the beach? 479 00:28:39,805 --> 00:28:42,056 I like those things, but I get it. Not for everyone. 480 00:28:42,057 --> 00:28:43,892 You wanna know how I feel about romance? 481 00:28:43,893 --> 00:28:45,060 Yeah. 482 00:28:47,062 --> 00:28:48,397 It's a farce. 483 00:28:50,191 --> 00:28:51,275 A lie. 484 00:28:52,735 --> 00:28:55,404 Not to everyone, I know that. Some people get... 485 00:28:56,197 --> 00:29:00,491 really lucky and stumble into something real and forever. 486 00:29:00,492 --> 00:29:02,118 But the other 99% of us 487 00:29:02,119 --> 00:29:04,996 are just bouncing from one failed experiment to the next, 488 00:29:04,997 --> 00:29:07,916 chasing the same regurgitated fairy-tale bullshit 489 00:29:07,917 --> 00:29:10,752 that's been stuffed into our brains since we were kids. 490 00:29:10,753 --> 00:29:14,005 Prince Charming? Till you catch him fucking your sister. 491 00:29:14,006 --> 00:29:15,673 I thought you were an only child. 492 00:29:15,674 --> 00:29:17,342 - It's a metaphor. Jesus. - Right. 493 00:29:17,343 --> 00:29:19,094 My point is, it's not real. 494 00:29:20,346 --> 00:29:23,431 And somehow, I landed a job that forces me to propagate 495 00:29:23,432 --> 00:29:25,600 a fantasy in order to sell blood diamonds 496 00:29:25,601 --> 00:29:27,268 harvested from third-world slave labor, 497 00:29:27,269 --> 00:29:29,229 so please forgive me if I'm not swept away 498 00:29:29,230 --> 00:29:32,023 by your magical notions of romance, Jay. 499 00:29:32,024 --> 00:29:33,108 Wow. 500 00:29:34,401 --> 00:29:35,736 That's really... 501 00:29:36,946 --> 00:29:37,947 What? 502 00:29:39,073 --> 00:29:40,074 ...sad. 503 00:29:45,412 --> 00:29:46,539 Why are you single? 504 00:29:47,581 --> 00:29:50,251 - Excuse me? - No, really, Mr. Romantic... 505 00:29:51,502 --> 00:29:52,752 doe-eyed, first love, 506 00:29:52,753 --> 00:29:55,380 Esther Perel mama's boy know-it-all. Why are you single? 507 00:29:55,381 --> 00:29:57,465 - Well... - Are you really looking for love 508 00:29:57,466 --> 00:29:59,717 or are you just another fake-ass, ho-hunting, 509 00:29:59,718 --> 00:30:01,636 - ankle-cuff prick in a suit? - Oh, my God. 510 00:30:01,637 --> 00:30:02,762 You know, you don't know me. 511 00:30:02,763 --> 00:30:04,430 And you don't get to cast judgment 512 00:30:04,431 --> 00:30:06,892 just because I don't think like you, okay? 513 00:30:12,940 --> 00:30:13,941 Yeah, um... 514 00:30:15,484 --> 00:30:18,445 I think you were right. Tonight's a bad night. 515 00:30:19,989 --> 00:30:21,906 Should've just let you clear your head. Um... 516 00:30:21,907 --> 00:30:24,285 Don't worry about the champagne. It's on Crystal. 517 00:30:34,628 --> 00:30:39,216 Jay! Jay! I'm sorry, okay? You win. 518 00:30:39,717 --> 00:30:42,218 Listen, I told you it was fine and I meant it. It's all good. 519 00:30:42,219 --> 00:30:44,387 No, I had a really rough day and... 520 00:30:44,388 --> 00:30:47,599 and I took it out on you and that was shitty and wrong and-- 521 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,392 Jay, please, I can't lose this job. 522 00:30:49,393 --> 00:30:51,520 Ally, I am not gonna take your job. 523 00:30:52,188 --> 00:30:53,646 Although it does seem like 524 00:30:53,647 --> 00:30:55,566 you don't really want this job, but... 525 00:30:56,775 --> 00:30:59,319 This is me, so... 526 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,821 I'm gonna go back to the hotel, brainstorm some creative, 527 00:31:01,822 --> 00:31:03,616 see what we can salvage from-- Oh! 528 00:31:09,413 --> 00:31:10,414 Ally? 529 00:31:13,375 --> 00:31:15,418 Collin! What are you doing here? 530 00:31:15,419 --> 00:31:18,922 Um, well, Sienna and I are on a little dinner date, actually. 531 00:31:18,923 --> 00:31:21,258 - I've heard so much about you. - Really? 532 00:31:22,092 --> 00:31:23,093 Why? 533 00:31:24,220 --> 00:31:25,845 And, uh, you are? 534 00:31:25,846 --> 00:31:27,347 Oh, Jay. I'm Ally's... 535 00:31:27,348 --> 00:31:29,015 - He's my friend-- Boyfriend. - ...Boyfriend. 536 00:31:29,016 --> 00:31:30,142 Friend. Boyfriend. 537 00:31:31,018 --> 00:31:32,727 I didn't know you had a boyfriend. 538 00:31:32,728 --> 00:31:34,812 - Yeah! Yeah. - Yeah. 539 00:31:34,813 --> 00:31:36,481 Yeah, I mean, why would you? 540 00:31:36,482 --> 00:31:39,902 It's not like I publicize it on social media or anything. 541 00:31:42,571 --> 00:31:44,489 Uh, well, it's nice to meet you, Jay. 542 00:31:44,490 --> 00:31:47,575 Pleasure. So, um, dinner, huh? 543 00:31:47,576 --> 00:31:49,953 Yeah. Uh, it was supposed to be a double date, 544 00:31:49,954 --> 00:31:52,081 uh, but unfortunately... 545 00:31:52,915 --> 00:31:54,249 - Ooh. - What does that mean? 546 00:31:54,250 --> 00:31:57,503 You know the couple that got murdered up at the winery? 547 00:31:58,546 --> 00:32:00,547 - What, you know them? - We worked together. 548 00:32:00,548 --> 00:32:02,299 - Played racquetball. - Racquetball. 549 00:32:03,300 --> 00:32:04,300 It's tragic, really. 550 00:32:04,301 --> 00:32:06,803 - Still kept the reservation? - And you still came to dinner? 551 00:32:06,804 --> 00:32:08,847 Of course. In their honor. 552 00:32:08,848 --> 00:32:10,598 - Wow. - Huh. Well, a lot to 553 00:32:10,599 --> 00:32:11,808 eat in there and it's good. 554 00:32:11,809 --> 00:32:13,685 We should go. See you, Ally, and... 555 00:32:13,686 --> 00:32:15,061 You have such a sexy suit. 556 00:32:15,062 --> 00:32:17,063 - Oh, that's a sexy dress. - Yeah. Oh, yeah. 557 00:32:17,064 --> 00:32:19,482 - You guys have a good dinner. - Happy Valentine's Day! 558 00:32:19,483 --> 00:32:22,528 - Happy V-Day! - Don't get killed, all right? 559 00:32:23,571 --> 00:32:25,488 - What was-- - Why would he say that? 560 00:32:25,489 --> 00:32:27,448 That was weird. Oh, you're coming with me. 561 00:32:27,449 --> 00:32:29,243 That was so embarrassing. 562 00:32:45,009 --> 00:32:46,010 Thank you. 563 00:32:49,346 --> 00:32:51,807 Not a-- Not a problem. 564 00:32:59,565 --> 00:33:02,442 So is it the accent? Is that what it is? 565 00:33:02,443 --> 00:33:04,360 Women love that fucking accent. 566 00:33:04,361 --> 00:33:06,488 God, I can't stand it now. 567 00:33:07,865 --> 00:33:10,743 - Brits are so unemotional. - Mmm. 568 00:33:11,619 --> 00:33:15,789 Well, that would explain the dead friends' resy. 569 00:33:16,582 --> 00:33:19,626 Love is a beautiful thing, no? 570 00:33:19,627 --> 00:33:21,836 - Oh, we-- we just work together. - No, we're not a couple. 571 00:33:21,837 --> 00:33:23,796 - But you just kissed, no? - Oh, see, no, 572 00:33:23,797 --> 00:33:24,881 that was a performance 573 00:33:24,882 --> 00:33:28,051 to seem maybe more desirable and perhaps less pathetic 574 00:33:28,052 --> 00:33:31,638 - in front of her ex. - Oh. You love Spotify? 575 00:33:31,639 --> 00:33:34,766 I have Ultimate Sexies playlist and-- 576 00:33:34,767 --> 00:33:36,226 - I love Spotify. - Yeah, no, 577 00:33:36,227 --> 00:33:37,519 we're okay. Thank you. 578 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:39,230 Can we add a stop? 579 00:33:40,689 --> 00:33:42,690 Again, I'm really sorry about tonight. 580 00:33:42,691 --> 00:33:44,234 I swear I'm not a lunatic. 581 00:33:44,235 --> 00:33:47,279 That's exactly what I think a lunatic would say. 582 00:33:48,405 --> 00:33:49,406 Okay. 583 00:33:51,825 --> 00:33:53,660 Have fun at your best friend's wedding. 584 00:33:53,661 --> 00:33:54,745 Thank you. 585 00:34:01,752 --> 00:34:02,753 Okey dokey. 586 00:34:08,551 --> 00:34:09,552 What the... 587 00:34:11,094 --> 00:34:12,095 No! 588 00:34:12,096 --> 00:34:15,641 Next stop, 2640 Westlake Avenue South, sir? 589 00:34:17,393 --> 00:34:20,687 Hey, can you hold off a second? I think she locked herself out. 590 00:34:20,688 --> 00:34:22,772 You know what you should do? 591 00:34:22,773 --> 00:34:25,149 You should go to her, 592 00:34:25,150 --> 00:34:28,237 tell her you love her, then never let her go. 593 00:34:31,657 --> 00:34:35,119 Right. Right. Yeah, you just keep that meter running. 594 00:34:37,079 --> 00:34:39,748 Howdy. Everything okay? 595 00:34:40,416 --> 00:34:41,417 No. 596 00:34:42,293 --> 00:34:44,836 No, I think I left my keys in a dressing room somewhere. 597 00:34:44,837 --> 00:34:45,920 Oh. 598 00:34:46,505 --> 00:34:48,756 Oh, my God. This night could not get any worse. 599 00:34:48,757 --> 00:34:50,009 You have a spare hidden? 600 00:34:50,676 --> 00:34:53,888 Yeah, under a mat upstairs. 601 00:34:55,139 --> 00:34:57,098 It's okay. I'll just break the window. 602 00:34:57,099 --> 00:34:59,767 No. What are you talking about, breaking windows? No. 603 00:34:59,768 --> 00:35:01,227 No, it's fine. My landlord loves me. 604 00:35:01,228 --> 00:35:02,437 Well, if you're serious, 605 00:35:02,438 --> 00:35:03,771 maybe you just, you know, let me do it. 606 00:35:03,772 --> 00:35:05,690 - I can break a window. - No, I know you can 607 00:35:05,691 --> 00:35:07,817 break a window, but if you cut yourself, I'll be-- 608 00:35:07,818 --> 00:35:09,445 I'm not gonna cut myself. 609 00:35:10,613 --> 00:35:11,822 Knock yourself out. 610 00:35:12,489 --> 00:35:15,325 Just know I don't condone this. I'm worried for your safety. 611 00:35:15,326 --> 00:35:17,827 And you're punching with your thumb inside your hand, 612 00:35:17,828 --> 00:35:18,953 which is not a good thing. 613 00:35:18,954 --> 00:35:20,038 Okay. Yeah. You're gonna do it. 614 00:35:20,039 --> 00:35:22,583 Yeah. Why don't you hold that? Came prepared. 615 00:35:24,793 --> 00:35:26,336 Ah, not so bad. 616 00:35:26,337 --> 00:35:27,421 That's bad. 617 00:35:28,339 --> 00:35:30,757 I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. 618 00:35:30,758 --> 00:35:32,842 I'm sorry I'm bleeding all over your floor. 619 00:35:32,843 --> 00:35:36,305 Here. Okay. Let's run it under some water. 620 00:35:38,224 --> 00:35:40,308 - Thanks. - Okay, you're just gonna wash up 621 00:35:40,309 --> 00:35:41,477 in here for a sec. 622 00:35:42,311 --> 00:35:43,603 Oh, God. 623 00:35:43,604 --> 00:35:46,356 Sorry it's so messy. 624 00:35:46,357 --> 00:35:47,524 I had a house cleaner, 625 00:35:47,525 --> 00:35:50,610 but she won the lottery last week and fired me. 626 00:35:50,611 --> 00:35:53,363 Really? How much did she win? 627 00:35:53,364 --> 00:35:55,740 Like, a million dollars. 628 00:35:55,741 --> 00:36:00,996 Damn. Well, I hope you find a replacement soon. 629 00:36:06,335 --> 00:36:07,545 Cute. 630 00:36:08,712 --> 00:36:11,047 I was Pikachu for Halloween too. 631 00:36:11,048 --> 00:36:14,009 - Yeah. That wasn't Halloween. - What was it? 632 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:17,053 It was Tuesday. Yeah, I was pretty obsessed. 633 00:36:17,054 --> 00:36:18,556 Wore that shit everywhere. 634 00:36:20,391 --> 00:36:22,392 - I'll take that. - It was on your shelf. 635 00:36:22,393 --> 00:36:23,893 No, I really wasn't expecting company. 636 00:36:23,894 --> 00:36:25,144 Ever? 637 00:36:25,145 --> 00:36:26,729 Why don't you just take a seat 638 00:36:26,730 --> 00:36:28,566 while I look for the first aid kit? 639 00:36:34,947 --> 00:36:35,948 Found it! 640 00:36:40,536 --> 00:36:41,537 Jay? 641 00:36:48,669 --> 00:36:49,670 Excuse you. 642 00:36:50,004 --> 00:36:52,673 I'm sorry. I didn't wanna sit on your nice clothes. 643 00:36:55,217 --> 00:36:56,218 Ow. 644 00:36:57,761 --> 00:36:58,762 Would you relax? 645 00:36:59,471 --> 00:37:01,432 It's just a very expensive jacket. 646 00:37:02,975 --> 00:37:04,435 Let's see your hand. 647 00:37:06,854 --> 00:37:08,689 - Ooh. - Careful now. 648 00:37:09,565 --> 00:37:10,566 Does it hurt? 649 00:37:11,817 --> 00:37:14,236 No, actually. You're really good at this. 650 00:37:14,820 --> 00:37:16,404 Did you go to med school or something? 651 00:37:16,405 --> 00:37:19,575 I dropped out actually. 652 00:37:20,951 --> 00:37:22,202 I really can't do blood. 653 00:37:22,203 --> 00:37:23,786 - No way. - Mmm, way. 654 00:37:23,787 --> 00:37:25,121 Hmm. 655 00:37:25,122 --> 00:37:27,957 Well, I think you're doing a pretty good job right now, 656 00:37:27,958 --> 00:37:29,460 if I do say so myself. 657 00:37:30,503 --> 00:37:31,544 - Uh-- - Oh. 658 00:37:31,545 --> 00:37:33,546 This is why we dropped out of med school 659 00:37:33,547 --> 00:37:35,382 and pivoted to advertising. 660 00:37:37,218 --> 00:37:38,219 You're funny. 661 00:37:38,802 --> 00:37:40,721 - Am I? - I think so, yeah. 662 00:37:45,309 --> 00:37:47,644 Would you mind? My hair, falling in my face. 663 00:37:47,645 --> 00:37:48,979 - Oh, of course. - Thank you. 664 00:37:56,570 --> 00:37:58,781 - Okay. There we go. - Oh, wow. 665 00:38:03,869 --> 00:38:05,787 So, you mind my asking 666 00:38:05,788 --> 00:38:08,499 what kind of medicine you were planning on going into? 667 00:38:09,291 --> 00:38:11,209 Uh, nephrology. 668 00:38:11,210 --> 00:38:12,836 That's the liver. 669 00:38:12,837 --> 00:38:13,920 Kidneys. 670 00:38:13,921 --> 00:38:15,296 - Nailed it. Damn. - Yeah. 671 00:38:15,297 --> 00:38:16,798 Well, why that? 672 00:38:16,799 --> 00:38:19,092 I had a family member that was pretty sick. 673 00:38:19,093 --> 00:38:20,301 Mmm-hmm. 674 00:38:20,302 --> 00:38:23,931 Guess I-- I don't know, thought I could fix people. 675 00:38:25,975 --> 00:38:28,393 Anyway, now I'm considered hemophobic. 676 00:38:28,394 --> 00:38:29,478 Oh. 677 00:38:30,062 --> 00:38:33,273 - I didn't take you for a bigot. - Okay, wow. 678 00:38:33,274 --> 00:38:36,944 Between that and coffee mates, your dad jokes are top-notch. 679 00:38:38,487 --> 00:38:41,990 I'm being facetious obviously. Your jokes are cheesy as-- 680 00:38:41,991 --> 00:38:43,075 Fuck! 681 00:38:43,868 --> 00:38:45,368 Ally! Ally! 682 00:38:45,369 --> 00:38:46,453 Oh, shit! 683 00:38:57,131 --> 00:38:59,383 Fuck you! No, no, no, no, no, no! 684 00:39:00,843 --> 00:39:01,844 Run! 685 00:39:05,222 --> 00:39:07,599 Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! What are you doing? 686 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,309 Get your mind out of the gutter! 687 00:39:09,310 --> 00:39:10,435 Yep, yep, yep, yep. 688 00:39:10,436 --> 00:39:12,229 Come on. Come on, come on. Come on, come on! 689 00:39:13,564 --> 00:39:15,149 Come on, come on, come on! 690 00:39:15,941 --> 00:39:17,401 - You got it? - Yes! 691 00:39:20,196 --> 00:39:21,197 Good job. 692 00:39:22,531 --> 00:39:23,532 Thanks. 693 00:39:25,075 --> 00:39:26,869 Hey, you good? 694 00:39:27,328 --> 00:39:28,329 Yeah. 695 00:39:31,373 --> 00:39:34,001 - Help! He's trying to kill us! - Oh, here's lovebirds. 696 00:39:36,545 --> 00:39:38,129 No! No, no, no. You've got the wrong people. 697 00:39:38,130 --> 00:39:39,881 - Hey! What are you doing? - He only kills couples, right? 698 00:39:39,882 --> 00:39:41,674 We're not a couple. We barely know each other. 699 00:39:41,675 --> 00:39:43,886 So back the fuck off! 700 00:39:44,553 --> 00:39:46,055 911, what's your emergency? 701 00:39:47,181 --> 00:39:48,182 Run! 702 00:39:50,893 --> 00:39:53,270 Help! Help! 703 00:39:54,188 --> 00:39:55,189 Help us! 704 00:40:02,655 --> 00:40:04,322 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 705 00:40:04,323 --> 00:40:05,407 What? 706 00:40:07,493 --> 00:40:08,577 Did you hear that? 707 00:40:10,538 --> 00:40:11,622 I don't hear anything. 708 00:40:12,540 --> 00:40:13,541 Oh, shit! 709 00:40:14,458 --> 00:40:15,459 Ally! 710 00:40:16,418 --> 00:40:18,044 Get off of her! 711 00:40:18,045 --> 00:40:19,839 Hey, hey! 712 00:42:54,910 --> 00:42:57,997 No! No! No! 713 00:42:59,999 --> 00:43:01,792 Help! He's right behind... 714 00:43:04,170 --> 00:43:05,462 - Here! - ...me. 715 00:43:07,798 --> 00:43:10,134 He was-- He was right here. 716 00:43:10,926 --> 00:43:12,219 I'll go check it out. 717 00:43:14,180 --> 00:43:15,181 Oh, my God. Jay. 718 00:43:16,140 --> 00:43:18,016 - Jay, is he okay? - I don't know who 719 00:43:18,017 --> 00:43:19,559 - you're talking about. - Jay Simmonds. 720 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:20,935 We-- We were with each other all night 721 00:43:20,936 --> 00:43:23,938 and-- and we got attacked and we got separated back there. 722 00:43:23,939 --> 00:43:26,149 - You just left him? - No, I didn't leave him! 723 00:43:26,150 --> 00:43:28,693 All units. All units, stand down. 724 00:43:28,694 --> 00:43:30,528 We have Heart Eyes. 725 00:43:30,529 --> 00:43:32,906 - I repeat, we have Heart Eyes. - Yes! We got that motherfucker! 726 00:43:32,907 --> 00:43:34,574 Seattle PD, baby! Fuck, yeah! 727 00:43:34,575 --> 00:43:36,409 On behalf of Seattle PD, I just wanna say-- 728 00:43:36,410 --> 00:43:38,036 Yeah, congratulations. 729 00:43:38,037 --> 00:43:39,997 Incredible teamwork, huh? 730 00:43:43,626 --> 00:43:45,836 Hey! Hey, you need to back up! 731 00:43:47,338 --> 00:43:49,172 - Fucking weirdos. - What did I do? 732 00:43:49,173 --> 00:43:50,257 Detectives. 733 00:43:52,259 --> 00:43:53,344 Here she is. 734 00:43:54,345 --> 00:43:55,595 Detective Zeke Hobbs. 735 00:43:55,596 --> 00:43:57,890 This is my partner, Detective Jeanine Shaw. 736 00:44:00,392 --> 00:44:01,393 Hobbs and Shaw? 737 00:44:03,145 --> 00:44:04,396 Like the movie? 738 00:44:07,233 --> 00:44:09,067 - I haven't heard of it. - I haven't seen it. 739 00:44:09,068 --> 00:44:11,654 - We're here to ID a murderer. - Oh, my God. Jay? 740 00:44:12,780 --> 00:44:13,781 Jay! 741 00:44:14,949 --> 00:44:17,076 - Jay, are you okay? - Mmm-mmm. 742 00:44:18,452 --> 00:44:19,453 - Jay! - Nope. 743 00:44:20,579 --> 00:44:22,205 Jay, are you okay? 744 00:44:22,206 --> 00:44:25,500 Uh, no, Ally, I'm not okay. 745 00:44:25,501 --> 00:44:28,170 Thank you for asking. You ditched me. 746 00:44:28,921 --> 00:44:31,047 What? I did not ditch you! 747 00:44:31,048 --> 00:44:34,092 Oh, yes, you did! You absolutely ditched me. We were a team. 748 00:44:34,093 --> 00:44:37,720 I was being chased by a fucking serial killer! 749 00:44:37,721 --> 00:44:41,975 I know! I also was being chased by a serial killer. 750 00:44:41,976 --> 00:44:44,894 - What the fuck does that mean? - Jay, you're tall and ripped 751 00:44:44,895 --> 00:44:47,313 and-- and perfectly capable of defending yourself. 752 00:44:47,314 --> 00:44:49,899 Ally, I really appreciate the compliments, 753 00:44:49,900 --> 00:44:51,317 especially coming from you, 754 00:44:51,318 --> 00:44:53,319 but right now is not the time, okay? 755 00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:55,405 These muscles were not made for violence! 756 00:44:55,406 --> 00:44:56,656 They're for cuddling! 757 00:44:56,657 --> 00:44:58,241 - Okay. - Hey, we're talking here! 758 00:44:58,242 --> 00:45:00,451 Guys, this was not him. We were together all night. 759 00:45:00,452 --> 00:45:02,120 Heart Eyes was after both of us. 760 00:45:02,121 --> 00:45:05,499 Ma'am... We found this man in the park wearing this 761 00:45:06,792 --> 00:45:08,376 and in possession of this. 762 00:45:08,377 --> 00:45:09,627 Come on! 763 00:45:09,628 --> 00:45:11,921 No, that's-- That's not possible. 764 00:45:11,922 --> 00:45:13,174 Jay didn't do this. 765 00:45:14,008 --> 00:45:15,009 Maybe. 766 00:45:16,427 --> 00:45:18,012 Maybe Jay wasn't acting alone. 767 00:45:19,054 --> 00:45:20,138 - What? - What? 768 00:45:20,139 --> 00:45:21,681 We're gonna have to take your 769 00:45:21,682 --> 00:45:23,726 tall, ripped friend in for questioning. 770 00:45:26,270 --> 00:45:27,271 Oh! 771 00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:31,525 Hey, good going. Really great. 772 00:45:34,069 --> 00:45:35,696 See you at the station, I guess. 773 00:45:38,407 --> 00:45:40,367 Fuck. 774 00:45:43,412 --> 00:45:44,413 What is this? 775 00:45:45,164 --> 00:45:46,165 That's a ring. 776 00:45:47,958 --> 00:45:50,251 - Read it. - Read what? 777 00:45:50,252 --> 00:45:52,504 Let me help you out. Let me help you out. 778 00:45:52,505 --> 00:45:53,589 It says, "JS." 779 00:45:56,091 --> 00:45:58,510 - As in "Jay Simmonds." - "Jay Simmonds." 780 00:45:58,511 --> 00:46:00,553 You are really good. 781 00:46:00,554 --> 00:46:02,388 You're really good at detective work. 782 00:46:02,389 --> 00:46:04,099 That was really-- It's impressive. 783 00:46:09,104 --> 00:46:10,105 That sarcasm? 784 00:46:11,565 --> 00:46:14,734 A, I am not married. 785 00:46:14,735 --> 00:46:18,988 B, why would I leave a wedding band at the scene of the crime? 786 00:46:18,989 --> 00:46:20,198 And C, 787 00:46:20,199 --> 00:46:22,534 who gets their own initials 788 00:46:22,535 --> 00:46:24,786 engraved in their own fucking wedding band? 789 00:46:24,787 --> 00:46:26,037 Also, D, 790 00:46:26,038 --> 00:46:27,957 yes, that was sarcasm. 791 00:46:28,624 --> 00:46:30,708 - Hey, hey, hey! Hobbs. - Hey, relax. Relax! 792 00:46:30,709 --> 00:46:32,419 Take five. Go. Go. 793 00:46:33,671 --> 00:46:34,672 Cool down. 794 00:46:35,297 --> 00:46:37,508 Come on. 795 00:46:44,723 --> 00:46:47,308 I'm sorry. He can get a little hot under the collar. 796 00:46:47,309 --> 00:46:49,060 Yeah. No kidding. 797 00:46:49,061 --> 00:46:51,145 Do you need anything? Water, coffee? 798 00:46:51,146 --> 00:46:54,608 - I am fine, thank you very much. - Okay. 799 00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:00,281 Just you and me. 800 00:47:06,704 --> 00:47:08,664 I want you to look me in the eyes 801 00:47:09,832 --> 00:47:11,166 and tell me the truth. 802 00:47:14,795 --> 00:47:15,796 All right. 803 00:47:16,630 --> 00:47:18,090 How long have you known Ally? 804 00:47:18,799 --> 00:47:19,800 Fourteen hours. 805 00:47:21,886 --> 00:47:23,262 You seem to care about her. 806 00:47:26,390 --> 00:47:28,309 Yeah. Maybe I do. 807 00:47:32,146 --> 00:47:34,856 But that ring. That's... It's not yours, correct? 808 00:47:34,857 --> 00:47:37,484 No. Again, I am not married. 809 00:47:38,152 --> 00:47:39,152 You're not married. 810 00:47:39,153 --> 00:47:40,862 I mean, it's not, like, by choice or anything. 811 00:47:40,863 --> 00:47:43,364 I--I just haven't met the right person. 812 00:47:43,365 --> 00:47:44,533 You're telling me. 813 00:47:45,659 --> 00:47:48,037 - You're-- - Single. Shocker. 814 00:47:50,122 --> 00:47:51,123 Kind of. 815 00:47:52,041 --> 00:47:53,709 No-- You really, um... 816 00:47:58,088 --> 00:47:59,215 Okay, um... 817 00:48:00,966 --> 00:48:03,259 Lady, I have been waiting here for over an hour. 818 00:48:03,260 --> 00:48:05,553 First of all, it's "officer." 819 00:48:05,554 --> 00:48:07,263 Second, I already told you 820 00:48:07,264 --> 00:48:08,973 they're interrogating the suspect. 821 00:48:08,974 --> 00:48:11,476 And I already told you they're interrogating the wrong guy. 822 00:48:11,477 --> 00:48:13,311 Can you please just go back there 823 00:48:13,312 --> 00:48:15,188 and give me some sort of information? 824 00:48:15,189 --> 00:48:17,482 Sorry, Fran. The ethernet cable was all frayed. 825 00:48:17,483 --> 00:48:19,818 - Should be working now. - Thanks, David. 826 00:48:20,069 --> 00:48:24,531 What's a five-letter word for a dog ending in H? 827 00:48:24,532 --> 00:48:25,616 Bitch? 828 00:48:26,325 --> 00:48:27,326 Excuse me? 829 00:48:28,077 --> 00:48:29,078 Female dog. 830 00:48:31,830 --> 00:48:34,333 Oh, yeah. Thanks. 831 00:48:34,959 --> 00:48:37,837 Can you please go back there now and give me some sort of update? 832 00:48:40,381 --> 00:48:41,924 - Fine. - Thank you. 833 00:48:42,383 --> 00:48:44,844 Hey. Do we know each other? 834 00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:47,596 No, I don't think so. 835 00:48:48,472 --> 00:48:49,473 Bumble. 836 00:48:49,974 --> 00:48:52,476 Yeah, no. I'm... I'm not on the apps. 837 00:48:52,643 --> 00:48:54,853 Oh. It's a waste of time anyway. 838 00:48:54,854 --> 00:48:55,980 Hmm. 839 00:48:57,940 --> 00:48:59,274 Just shooting my shot here. 840 00:48:59,275 --> 00:49:02,026 Um, could I take you out to coffee some time? 841 00:49:02,027 --> 00:49:03,195 I'll pay for it. 842 00:49:04,321 --> 00:49:06,448 I almost got murdered tonight. 843 00:49:08,284 --> 00:49:09,952 - I am so sorry. Um... - Yeah. 844 00:49:10,828 --> 00:49:12,829 Stay safe. Have a good night. 845 00:49:12,830 --> 00:49:13,956 Thank you. 846 00:49:15,374 --> 00:49:17,042 Where the hell is everybody? 847 00:49:17,710 --> 00:49:18,711 Celebrating. 848 00:49:20,754 --> 00:49:22,131 They caught Heart Eyes. 849 00:49:33,934 --> 00:49:35,561 So, what else do you want to tell me? 850 00:49:36,395 --> 00:49:37,813 I'm not a serial killer. 851 00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:40,816 So there's that. 852 00:49:40,941 --> 00:49:44,569 Were you in Boston in February of '23 853 00:49:44,570 --> 00:49:46,739 and Philadelphia in February of '24? 854 00:49:48,407 --> 00:49:49,407 I... 855 00:49:49,408 --> 00:49:52,202 Let me rephrase. You were in Boston and Philly. 856 00:49:52,203 --> 00:49:53,703 Same dates and locations 857 00:49:53,704 --> 00:49:55,789 as HEK's two prior killing sprees. 858 00:49:57,541 --> 00:49:58,876 Jay, I got to admit... 859 00:49:59,627 --> 00:50:01,295 that doesn't look very good. 860 00:50:02,296 --> 00:50:04,047 I-- I don't know what you want me to say. 861 00:50:04,048 --> 00:50:07,927 I'm a freelancer, so yeah, I travel for, like, work. 862 00:50:09,512 --> 00:50:11,847 Do you ever get lonely on the road? 863 00:50:13,474 --> 00:50:16,726 I like to think that I can keep myself busy. 864 00:50:16,727 --> 00:50:18,479 Yeah? How? 865 00:50:19,522 --> 00:50:20,772 How do you blow off steam 866 00:50:20,773 --> 00:50:22,900 when you're alone with your thoughts, Jay? 867 00:50:25,653 --> 00:50:27,071 Do you go to a vineyard? 868 00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:29,406 Maybe a spa? 869 00:50:39,625 --> 00:50:40,626 Holy... Who-- 870 00:50:43,379 --> 00:50:45,630 So, for HEK to come out of the blue 871 00:50:45,631 --> 00:50:49,050 and denounce Valentine's Day and all it stands for... 872 00:50:49,051 --> 00:50:50,135 Hello? 873 00:50:50,261 --> 00:50:52,136 ...by cutting these couples down to size. 874 00:50:52,137 --> 00:50:54,598 In my professional opinion, what we have here... 875 00:50:55,683 --> 00:50:56,684 Detective. 876 00:50:57,226 --> 00:50:58,768 We got an HWW out front. 877 00:50:58,769 --> 00:50:59,978 What do you want me to do with her? 878 00:50:59,979 --> 00:51:01,229 An HWW? 879 00:51:01,230 --> 00:51:02,897 "Hysterical white woman." 880 00:51:02,898 --> 00:51:04,066 I'll handle her. 881 00:51:05,568 --> 00:51:06,569 You sit tight. 882 00:51:07,862 --> 00:51:08,988 We're not done yet. 883 00:51:11,073 --> 00:51:12,074 I'll be here. 884 00:51:12,992 --> 00:51:15,243 He just snapped. 885 00:51:15,244 --> 00:51:19,706 And he makes it a point to kill again and again 886 00:51:19,707 --> 00:51:22,208 until the very concept of an entire day 887 00:51:22,209 --> 00:51:26,964 dedicated to couples and romance is eradicated. 888 00:51:27,798 --> 00:51:32,720 He sneaks into your house and waits in the dark. 889 00:51:33,512 --> 00:51:37,516 Cunning and quiet as a corpse. 890 00:51:38,851 --> 00:51:42,104 And then, when you least expect it... 891 00:51:43,856 --> 00:51:48,943 he pulls out one of the many, many, many toys 892 00:51:48,944 --> 00:51:50,988 from his tools. 893 00:52:08,756 --> 00:52:10,840 - What the hell are you doing? - God... 894 00:52:10,841 --> 00:52:12,551 bless the USA. 895 00:52:13,010 --> 00:52:14,093 - Told ya. - Yeah. 896 00:52:14,094 --> 00:52:15,179 I'm so sorry. 897 00:52:16,388 --> 00:52:18,431 - Are you letting him go? - Not yet. 898 00:52:18,432 --> 00:52:20,558 Why the hell not? He's innocent! 899 00:52:20,559 --> 00:52:22,685 Mmm-hmm. Well, then tell me something. 900 00:52:22,686 --> 00:52:24,646 Why is the Heart Eyes Killer after him? 901 00:52:24,647 --> 00:52:26,732 - You're not a couple. - I don't know. 902 00:52:27,441 --> 00:52:30,860 I assume he saw us and thought we were together. 903 00:52:30,861 --> 00:52:31,946 Why? 904 00:52:33,739 --> 00:52:34,740 We... 905 00:52:36,784 --> 00:52:37,826 kissed. 906 00:52:41,288 --> 00:52:43,874 We had-- We had-- We had-- We had to kiss. 907 00:52:45,125 --> 00:52:47,962 We had to kiss because... because my ex... 908 00:52:48,921 --> 00:52:51,465 he was there, and I was jealous. 909 00:52:52,633 --> 00:52:54,634 - It's really stupid, I know. - Okay. 910 00:52:54,635 --> 00:52:55,719 I get it. 911 00:52:56,846 --> 00:52:57,847 I do. 912 00:53:01,767 --> 00:53:04,937 So you're not interested in him romantically? 913 00:53:06,230 --> 00:53:07,606 Why is that relevant? 914 00:53:08,524 --> 00:53:09,650 Just girl talk. 915 00:53:10,192 --> 00:53:11,986 I mean, he's cute, he has a... 916 00:53:12,695 --> 00:53:14,613 really good job. 917 00:53:16,282 --> 00:53:18,742 Perfect candidate for a little girl like yourself. 918 00:53:20,911 --> 00:53:22,663 A little girl like myself? 919 00:53:26,292 --> 00:53:27,459 Ay. 920 00:53:28,544 --> 00:53:31,129 Oh, relax. Probably just the breaker. 921 00:53:31,130 --> 00:53:33,966 That's what people say before they get stabbed to death. 922 00:53:35,593 --> 00:53:36,719 How would you know? 923 00:53:38,888 --> 00:53:39,889 Watch her. 924 00:53:42,349 --> 00:53:43,892 No, no, no, no, no. She said to watch me. 925 00:53:43,893 --> 00:53:46,561 Calm down, I'm just getting a flashlight. Little space? 926 00:53:46,562 --> 00:53:48,647 Any closer, you'd be inside me. 927 00:53:49,356 --> 00:53:51,066 I'm sorry. I'm just scared. 928 00:53:53,027 --> 00:53:55,362 No, no, no, no. Careful. He hides in closets. 929 00:54:04,496 --> 00:54:05,998 No killers in here. 930 00:54:50,501 --> 00:54:51,502 Help! 931 00:54:53,712 --> 00:54:55,296 Hey! Hey! What-- What's happening? 932 00:54:55,297 --> 00:54:56,590 - He's here. - Who? 933 00:54:58,592 --> 00:54:59,969 Go! Get back! Get back! 934 00:55:08,477 --> 00:55:10,603 Hey. Hey. Hey, hey. Hey! 935 00:55:10,604 --> 00:55:12,313 Where are you going? Uncuff me. 936 00:55:12,314 --> 00:55:13,816 Don't worry, lover boy. 937 00:55:14,525 --> 00:55:15,818 I'll protect you. 938 00:55:16,527 --> 00:55:19,280 No. No. No. 939 00:55:27,538 --> 00:55:29,081 God! Damn it! 940 00:55:33,502 --> 00:55:34,753 Shaw? 941 00:55:54,148 --> 00:55:55,149 Shaw! 942 00:56:31,101 --> 00:56:32,102 Jay? 943 00:56:33,103 --> 00:56:34,104 Jay! 944 00:56:35,189 --> 00:56:36,524 Jay, can you hear me? 945 00:56:37,358 --> 00:56:38,691 Yes, yes, Ally. 946 00:56:38,692 --> 00:56:40,861 Ally, you've gotta find the keys. 947 00:56:41,195 --> 00:56:44,072 Uh, Hobbs has the keys, okay? You have to find Hobbs 948 00:56:44,073 --> 00:56:47,660 'cause he locked me in here like a fucking asshole. 949 00:56:49,787 --> 00:56:50,788 Ally? 950 00:56:53,791 --> 00:56:54,792 Ally? 951 00:56:58,796 --> 00:57:00,089 She ditched me. 952 00:57:02,466 --> 00:57:03,467 That's okay. 953 00:57:06,011 --> 00:57:07,012 Ally? 954 00:57:19,984 --> 00:57:21,026 Hey. 955 00:57:25,281 --> 00:57:26,282 Hey. 956 00:57:30,536 --> 00:57:31,537 Come on. 957 00:57:32,121 --> 00:57:33,122 Hey, come on. 958 00:57:33,539 --> 00:57:34,540 This is not fair! 959 00:57:37,126 --> 00:57:38,127 Shit! 960 00:57:47,928 --> 00:57:49,013 Die. 961 00:57:51,390 --> 00:57:52,516 Ally! Ally! 962 00:57:53,058 --> 00:57:54,810 Goddamn! I'm right here! 963 00:57:56,979 --> 00:57:57,980 Jay! 964 00:57:58,647 --> 00:57:59,648 Careful! Careful. 965 00:58:02,568 --> 00:58:03,652 - Hi. - Hi. 966 00:58:06,947 --> 00:58:07,948 Are you okay? 967 00:58:09,617 --> 00:58:11,618 You're a terrible shot, by the way. 968 00:58:11,619 --> 00:58:13,412 Don't fucking push it, Romeo. 969 00:58:16,707 --> 00:58:18,583 - No! Hey! - Ally! 970 00:58:18,584 --> 00:58:20,711 - Stop! - No, no, no! Ally! 971 00:58:22,087 --> 00:58:23,379 Fucking assholes! 972 00:58:23,380 --> 00:58:24,714 You saved my life. 973 00:58:24,715 --> 00:58:25,883 You saved mine. 974 00:58:26,592 --> 00:58:27,593 I owed you one. 975 00:58:32,139 --> 00:58:33,431 We're not together! 976 00:58:33,432 --> 00:58:35,016 Go kill somebody else! 977 00:58:35,017 --> 00:58:37,436 - Get up. Get up. Get up. - He's coming. He's coming. 978 00:58:44,235 --> 00:58:47,278 Oh, fuck. Do you know what we just did? 979 00:58:47,279 --> 00:58:49,989 Yeah. We led a couples-killing maniac to a... 980 00:58:49,990 --> 00:58:51,991 - To an all-you-can-kill buffet. - Come on. 981 00:58:51,992 --> 00:58:54,786 A big fat lummox like you hiring an aeroplane to write, 982 00:58:54,787 --> 00:58:58,374 "Hildy, don't be hasty. Remember my dimple. Walter." 983 00:58:58,749 --> 00:59:00,208 Delayed our divorce 20 minutes 984 00:59:00,209 --> 00:59:02,044 while the judge went out to watch it. 985 00:59:06,841 --> 00:59:08,008 Are you kidding me? 986 00:59:09,927 --> 00:59:11,887 Oh, shit! 987 00:59:20,771 --> 00:59:22,231 Yo, that costume is dope. 988 00:59:25,901 --> 00:59:27,027 I don't like that. 989 00:59:30,072 --> 00:59:31,615 That's not him, right? 990 00:59:32,950 --> 00:59:34,075 What the fuck? 991 00:59:34,076 --> 00:59:35,159 It is him! 992 00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:36,244 Was it my fault? 993 00:59:36,245 --> 00:59:38,997 Did I know that coal mine was gonna have another cave-in? 994 00:59:38,998 --> 00:59:42,125 I intended to be with you on our honeymoon, Hildy. 995 00:59:42,126 --> 00:59:43,210 'Sup, man? 996 00:59:46,046 --> 00:59:48,631 I spent two weeks in a coal mine with John Kruptzky. 997 00:59:48,632 --> 00:59:50,258 You don't deny that, do you, Walter? 998 00:59:50,259 --> 00:59:51,509 Deny it? I'm proud of it. 999 00:59:51,510 --> 00:59:53,178 We beat the whole country on that story. 1000 00:59:53,179 --> 00:59:55,263 Suppose we did. That isn't what I got married for! 1001 00:59:55,264 --> 00:59:56,348 Excuse us. 1002 00:59:57,850 --> 00:59:58,893 What a creep. 1003 01:00:04,023 --> 01:00:05,023 Left. Left. 1004 01:00:05,024 --> 01:00:07,151 No. Right. Go. Go, go, go. 1005 01:00:08,235 --> 01:00:09,236 Turn. 1006 01:00:11,780 --> 01:00:12,781 In here. 1007 01:00:26,629 --> 01:00:27,837 Hmm? 1008 01:00:27,838 --> 01:00:30,590 Put a fucking shirt on. There's a killer after us. 1009 01:00:30,591 --> 01:00:32,384 Mmm. Oh, what is it? 1010 01:00:33,719 --> 01:00:35,303 The Heart Eyes Killer. 1011 01:00:35,304 --> 01:00:37,680 He's out there right now. We need to be quiet. 1012 01:00:37,681 --> 01:00:41,392 Oh! Dude, that's so hot. Fuck. 1013 01:00:41,393 --> 01:00:43,520 - We love role-play. - Yeah. 1014 01:00:43,521 --> 01:00:45,980 - Oh, my God. He's coming. - We're so dead. 1015 01:00:45,981 --> 01:00:47,982 Oh, he's so scary and big. 1016 01:00:47,983 --> 01:00:49,485 - We can't stay here. - No. 1017 01:00:53,614 --> 01:00:55,156 - ...without shuddering. - Walter... 1018 01:00:55,157 --> 01:00:56,866 I made a great reporter out of you. 1019 01:00:56,867 --> 01:00:58,993 You won't be half as good on another paper. 1020 01:00:58,994 --> 01:01:00,078 We're a team. 1021 01:01:00,079 --> 01:01:02,163 You need me, I need you, the paper needs us! 1022 01:01:02,164 --> 01:01:03,332 Sold, American! 1023 01:01:04,750 --> 01:01:06,376 It just didn't work out, Walter. 1024 01:01:06,377 --> 01:01:07,460 Oh, fuck. 1025 01:01:07,461 --> 01:01:09,921 It would've worked out if you'd been satisfied... 1026 01:01:09,922 --> 01:01:11,840 Maybe we lay low for a little bit. 1027 01:01:11,841 --> 01:01:12,966 Yeah. 1028 01:01:12,967 --> 01:01:14,093 I wasn't satisfied. 1029 01:01:14,635 --> 01:01:16,052 I suppose I proposed to you? 1030 01:01:16,053 --> 01:01:17,136 You practically did. 1031 01:01:17,137 --> 01:01:19,305 Making goo-goo eyes at me for two years. 1032 01:01:19,306 --> 01:01:21,266 "Oh, Walter." And I still... 1033 01:01:21,267 --> 01:01:23,309 I actually kind of like this movie. 1034 01:01:23,310 --> 01:01:25,104 - Yeah, you like that? - Yeah. 1035 01:01:25,938 --> 01:01:26,981 Really? 1036 01:01:29,066 --> 01:01:30,651 Yeah. Are you surprised? 1037 01:01:32,945 --> 01:01:34,488 Little bit, yeah. 1038 01:01:39,702 --> 01:01:41,412 I did ditch you. 1039 01:01:43,163 --> 01:01:44,999 No. Ditch me? 1040 01:01:47,209 --> 01:01:48,544 It's what I'm best at. 1041 01:01:49,253 --> 01:01:50,963 - Ditching people? - Running. 1042 01:01:51,589 --> 01:01:53,798 Hey, I was holding my own. You didn't see me? 1043 01:01:53,799 --> 01:01:55,926 He was shaking in his little leather boots. 1044 01:02:00,639 --> 01:02:03,142 Jay, I wasn't entirely honest at dinner. 1045 01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:06,478 My parents had this, like... 1046 01:02:08,022 --> 01:02:09,732 storybook romance. 1047 01:02:11,317 --> 01:02:13,068 They were literally perfect together. 1048 01:02:16,530 --> 01:02:17,823 And then my dad died. 1049 01:02:21,660 --> 01:02:23,704 I don't think my mom ever fully recovered. 1050 01:02:27,458 --> 01:02:28,459 I'm sorry. 1051 01:02:31,962 --> 01:02:33,297 You know, when I was a kid, 1052 01:02:34,423 --> 01:02:37,718 my parents just... hated each other. 1053 01:02:38,677 --> 01:02:41,889 I mean, they fought... all the time. 1054 01:02:43,516 --> 01:02:44,808 I think that... 1055 01:02:45,935 --> 01:02:47,436 is why I'm just this... 1056 01:02:49,271 --> 01:02:50,731 hapless romantic. 1057 01:02:52,024 --> 01:02:55,568 Just putting every girl I fall for on a pedestal, 1058 01:02:55,569 --> 01:02:58,613 only to have my heart broken over... 1059 01:02:58,614 --> 01:03:00,365 - More. - and over... 1060 01:03:00,366 --> 01:03:01,533 More? 1061 01:03:01,534 --> 01:03:02,660 ...and over. 1062 01:03:04,411 --> 01:03:05,620 Keep going. 1063 01:03:05,621 --> 01:03:06,914 All because they... 1064 01:03:09,208 --> 01:03:12,335 they just can't... breathe 1065 01:03:12,336 --> 01:03:14,296 my suffocating attempt 1066 01:03:15,631 --> 01:03:18,342 to prove Mom and Dad wrong. 1067 01:03:23,597 --> 01:03:24,682 You know, I think... 1068 01:03:26,433 --> 01:03:29,352 I think tonight should've been, like, 1069 01:03:29,353 --> 01:03:31,063 the worst night of my life. 1070 01:03:35,317 --> 01:03:36,318 But it isn't. 1071 01:03:41,448 --> 01:03:42,449 Ditto. 1072 01:03:45,119 --> 01:03:46,370 Baby, you're so wet. 1073 01:03:52,918 --> 01:03:55,713 God, you're so hard! Ow! 1074 01:04:00,009 --> 01:04:01,342 At least they're having fun. 1075 01:04:01,343 --> 01:04:02,887 Oh, shit! 1076 01:04:04,805 --> 01:04:05,806 It's kinda loud. 1077 01:04:08,184 --> 01:04:09,185 Yeah, it's too loud. 1078 01:04:09,518 --> 01:04:10,561 Shut the fuck up! 1079 01:04:11,353 --> 01:04:14,022 - Shut up! Shut the fuck up. - Quiet down! 1080 01:04:14,023 --> 01:04:16,232 - Samm! I'm coming! - Oh, God! 1081 01:04:16,233 --> 01:04:18,861 - I'm coming! - Shut up! Shut up! 1082 01:04:41,050 --> 01:04:44,428 Holy shit. Someone call 911! 1083 01:04:49,475 --> 01:04:50,476 Fuck! 1084 01:04:57,233 --> 01:04:58,234 Please, no! 1085 01:05:37,982 --> 01:05:39,482 What are you-- Hey, Ally. 1086 01:05:39,483 --> 01:05:40,984 - What are you doing? - Wait. 1087 01:05:40,985 --> 01:05:42,862 Wait for what? He's gonna kill us. 1088 01:05:43,737 --> 01:05:45,322 And if he doesn't kill us, 1089 01:05:46,198 --> 01:05:47,949 he's gonna keep killing people. 1090 01:05:47,950 --> 01:05:49,243 We brought him here, 1091 01:05:50,828 --> 01:05:51,829 we end it here. 1092 01:05:52,371 --> 01:05:53,789 - We-- - Come on. 1093 01:05:54,623 --> 01:05:56,125 I thought we were a team. 1094 01:06:38,292 --> 01:06:40,002 Hey, Fuck Eyes! 1095 01:06:43,506 --> 01:06:44,548 Wait, wait, wait. 1096 01:06:45,466 --> 01:06:46,467 We need a weapon. 1097 01:06:47,593 --> 01:06:48,594 I have this. 1098 01:06:49,470 --> 01:06:51,180 That is not a weapon. 1099 01:06:54,016 --> 01:06:55,017 That could work. 1100 01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:03,526 - I don't think I can do that. - What? Hey... 1101 01:07:03,984 --> 01:07:04,985 Yes, you can. 1102 01:07:06,028 --> 01:07:07,029 Come on. 1103 01:07:24,421 --> 01:07:25,422 Run! 1104 01:07:28,843 --> 01:07:29,844 Ally! 1105 01:08:03,294 --> 01:08:04,461 Oh, shit! 1106 01:08:19,935 --> 01:08:21,477 Thanks a lot, Jay. 1107 01:08:21,854 --> 01:08:22,855 What? 1108 01:08:24,190 --> 01:08:25,690 You got it in my mouth. 1109 01:08:25,691 --> 01:08:27,065 I just saved your life. 1110 01:08:27,066 --> 01:08:28,902 Oh, my God. I think I'm gonna be sick. 1111 01:08:28,903 --> 01:08:30,029 No. Hey. 1112 01:08:30,946 --> 01:08:31,989 Oh, no, no, no. 1113 01:08:40,330 --> 01:08:42,373 I told you I was not good with blood. 1114 01:08:42,374 --> 01:08:43,584 Yeah, no kidding. 1115 01:09:03,896 --> 01:09:05,522 Uh, who the fuck is that? 1116 01:09:06,565 --> 01:09:07,858 I have no idea. 1117 01:09:14,073 --> 01:09:15,865 He's lost a lot of blood here. 1118 01:09:16,992 --> 01:09:18,535 Do you have an ID on the victim? 1119 01:09:19,035 --> 01:09:21,497 You two, you're gonna be famous. 1120 01:09:22,039 --> 01:09:24,749 The couple that stopped Heart Eyes. I-- 1121 01:09:27,794 --> 01:09:29,046 It's very cute. 1122 01:09:30,004 --> 01:09:31,213 Thank-- Thank-- Thank you. 1123 01:09:31,214 --> 01:09:32,675 - Thank you. - Thank you. 1124 01:09:33,467 --> 01:09:34,927 I'm gonna leave you alone now. 1125 01:09:42,476 --> 01:09:43,852 Shot in the dark here. 1126 01:09:45,271 --> 01:09:46,563 Wanna come back to my hotel 1127 01:09:46,564 --> 01:09:49,191 and try and crack this campaign before my flight? 1128 01:09:51,360 --> 01:09:53,195 Just actually eat some dinner. 1129 01:09:53,779 --> 01:09:55,614 Order a whole bunch of room service. 1130 01:09:58,534 --> 01:09:59,577 Um... 1131 01:10:01,245 --> 01:10:03,372 Jay, I can't. 1132 01:10:11,380 --> 01:10:12,423 Hey, you two. 1133 01:10:16,051 --> 01:10:18,596 Just wanted to make sure you both got home safe. 1134 01:10:19,180 --> 01:10:20,472 Either of you need a lift? 1135 01:10:21,098 --> 01:10:23,767 Um... Actually... 1136 01:10:25,644 --> 01:10:27,645 I don't suppose you have a phone, 1137 01:10:27,646 --> 01:10:29,022 just so I can call a cab? 1138 01:10:29,023 --> 01:10:31,149 No, don't be silly. I'll give you a ride home. 1139 01:10:31,150 --> 01:10:32,859 Least I can do. 1140 01:10:32,860 --> 01:10:34,195 Your chariot awaits. 1141 01:10:35,529 --> 01:10:36,780 Okay. 1142 01:10:41,869 --> 01:10:42,995 Work call later? 1143 01:10:45,414 --> 01:10:46,582 Sounds like a plan. 1144 01:10:50,628 --> 01:10:52,962 Hey, uh, does anyone have a pen? 1145 01:10:52,963 --> 01:10:54,465 - I got you, dude. - Okay. 1146 01:10:56,884 --> 01:10:57,885 Can I see that? 1147 01:11:05,518 --> 01:11:06,936 That's me. 1148 01:11:10,439 --> 01:11:11,857 Your chariot awaits. 1149 01:11:21,492 --> 01:11:22,868 She's not my type. 1150 01:11:41,095 --> 01:11:43,346 Hey, I got another call, 1151 01:11:43,347 --> 01:11:45,473 so I'm just gonna have to take that 1152 01:11:45,474 --> 01:11:47,226 and that too. 1153 01:12:00,823 --> 01:12:02,449 Hey, do you need a ride? 1154 01:12:39,486 --> 01:12:40,486 Hey. 1155 01:12:40,487 --> 01:12:42,447 Um, do you have something you wanna tell me? 1156 01:12:42,448 --> 01:12:44,073 Oh, you're never gonna believe what happened. 1157 01:12:44,074 --> 01:12:45,700 Hello, Heart Eyes? Are you kidding me? 1158 01:12:45,701 --> 01:12:46,993 But wait. Are you okay? 1159 01:12:46,994 --> 01:12:48,453 Tell me the truth. Do you need to come over? 1160 01:12:48,454 --> 01:12:49,788 You can sleep in Arthur's panic room. 1161 01:12:51,999 --> 01:12:53,709 No, I-- I hate this feeling. 1162 01:12:54,627 --> 01:12:55,628 What feeling? 1163 01:12:57,338 --> 01:12:58,506 Liking someone. 1164 01:12:59,673 --> 01:13:01,133 God, I fucked up. 1165 01:13:02,176 --> 01:13:03,301 I fucked up, Mon. 1166 01:13:03,302 --> 01:13:05,553 I met a really, really great guy, 1167 01:13:05,554 --> 01:13:06,722 and now he's gone. 1168 01:13:09,725 --> 01:13:10,726 Where is he? 1169 01:13:11,352 --> 01:13:12,644 At the airport. 1170 01:13:12,645 --> 01:13:14,896 Oh. Okay, great. He's at the airport. Go get him. 1171 01:13:14,897 --> 01:13:15,980 Mon, I-- 1172 01:13:15,981 --> 01:13:18,817 Hey, Ally. Ally, listen to me. 1173 01:13:19,401 --> 01:13:20,860 You deserve to be happy. 1174 01:13:20,861 --> 01:13:23,029 You deserve to have someone love you 1175 01:13:23,030 --> 01:13:26,283 for the beautiful, neurotic mess that you are. 1176 01:13:27,201 --> 01:13:29,244 I mean, you can be so clueless sometimes. 1177 01:13:29,245 --> 01:13:31,746 It's one of the ten things I hate about you, honestly. 1178 01:13:31,747 --> 01:13:34,415 You can't let Jay go off to his best friend's wedding 1179 01:13:34,416 --> 01:13:36,042 and hook up with a bunch of bridesmaids 1180 01:13:36,043 --> 01:13:37,545 and move to Notting Hill. No. 1181 01:13:38,087 --> 01:13:39,421 This is love, mama. 1182 01:13:40,089 --> 01:13:42,632 Some kind of wonderful, 1183 01:13:42,633 --> 01:13:45,970 crazy, stupid love, actually. 1184 01:13:47,930 --> 01:13:50,807 Go get him. Go get that beautiful, melanin man. 1185 01:13:50,808 --> 01:13:52,058 - Okay! - He's gorgeous! 1186 01:13:52,059 --> 01:13:53,184 - Oh, my God. - Ally, go! 1187 01:13:53,185 --> 01:13:54,769 - You go get him right now! - Okay. I'm going. 1188 01:13:54,770 --> 01:13:56,188 I love you! You're beautiful! 1189 01:13:58,524 --> 01:14:00,817 This is your final call for all passengers 1190 01:14:00,818 --> 01:14:03,320 on flight 403 to Boston. 1191 01:14:05,614 --> 01:14:06,740 Thank you. 1192 01:14:08,617 --> 01:14:09,617 Jay? 1193 01:14:09,618 --> 01:14:11,244 Please have your boarding pass... 1194 01:14:11,245 --> 01:14:12,996 - Jay! - ...and identification ready. 1195 01:14:12,997 --> 01:14:14,081 Thank you. 1196 01:14:18,127 --> 01:14:19,128 Jay? 1197 01:14:21,505 --> 01:14:22,881 - Jay! - Fuck! 1198 01:14:22,882 --> 01:14:23,966 Sorry. 1199 01:14:27,261 --> 01:14:28,262 Jay! 1200 01:14:31,348 --> 01:14:32,682 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 1201 01:14:32,683 --> 01:14:34,310 I thought you were somebody else. 1202 01:14:34,894 --> 01:14:37,270 Paging passengers Mr. and Mrs. Jones 1203 01:14:37,271 --> 01:14:38,521 flying to Denver... 1204 01:14:38,522 --> 01:14:40,023 - Sorry. - ...on flight 273. 1205 01:14:40,024 --> 01:14:42,525 Your flight is boarded and ready for departure. 1206 01:14:42,526 --> 01:14:43,943 Please make your way 1207 01:14:43,944 --> 01:14:46,529 to gate lounge 11 immediately. 1208 01:14:46,530 --> 01:14:48,656 - Hello? - Roses are red, 1209 01:14:48,657 --> 01:14:50,700 violets are black. 1210 01:14:50,701 --> 01:14:52,327 Guess who's with me 1211 01:14:52,328 --> 01:14:54,454 and not coming back? 1212 01:14:54,455 --> 01:14:55,539 Who is this? 1213 01:14:57,082 --> 01:14:58,334 We've met before. 1214 01:14:58,834 --> 01:15:00,001 Forget me not. 1215 01:15:00,002 --> 01:15:01,961 Ally! Ally! No! 1216 01:15:01,962 --> 01:15:04,005 Don't-- Do not-- 1217 01:15:04,006 --> 01:15:05,716 St. Valentine's Chapel. 1218 01:15:06,425 --> 01:15:08,384 Come alone or he dies. 1219 01:15:08,385 --> 01:15:09,470 Okay. 1220 01:15:10,054 --> 01:15:12,640 Call for help, he dies. 1221 01:15:13,265 --> 01:15:14,934 Okay. Just please don't hurt him. 1222 01:15:16,352 --> 01:15:18,312 That's up to you, sweetheart. 1223 01:16:03,190 --> 01:16:05,526 They say love is blind 1224 01:16:06,443 --> 01:16:09,029 and lovers cannot see, 1225 01:16:11,991 --> 01:16:16,245 the pretty follies that they themselves commit. 1226 01:16:18,080 --> 01:16:21,250 But love isn't blind... 1227 01:16:29,466 --> 01:16:30,467 is it? 1228 01:16:31,719 --> 01:16:32,845 Wait, you're-- 1229 01:16:34,180 --> 01:16:35,181 It's me. 1230 01:16:37,516 --> 01:16:38,517 David. 1231 01:16:43,439 --> 01:16:44,565 The IT guy. 1232 01:16:45,858 --> 01:16:47,943 Wait, who the fuck did we kill then? 1233 01:16:49,278 --> 01:16:50,321 Eli. 1234 01:16:50,821 --> 01:16:52,990 Poor, stupid Eli. 1235 01:16:53,449 --> 01:16:54,991 You guys were a couple? 1236 01:16:54,992 --> 01:16:56,368 Couple? No. No. 1237 01:16:58,829 --> 01:16:59,830 Throuple. 1238 01:17:03,626 --> 01:17:06,337 Love looks with eyes wide open. 1239 01:17:08,130 --> 01:17:10,549 Seeking what the heart desires the most. 1240 01:17:12,468 --> 01:17:13,469 A partner. 1241 01:17:14,929 --> 01:17:16,472 Its true companion. 1242 01:17:21,894 --> 01:17:24,605 I found mine ten years ago in a chat room. 1243 01:17:26,232 --> 01:17:27,607 David saw me. 1244 01:17:27,608 --> 01:17:29,317 He understood me 1245 01:17:29,318 --> 01:17:31,153 and I understood him. 1246 01:17:38,494 --> 01:17:39,703 We got married here. 1247 01:17:40,704 --> 01:17:43,249 You know, I didn't really take you for the religious type. 1248 01:17:44,583 --> 01:17:47,503 No. We just like the story. 1249 01:17:50,673 --> 01:17:52,132 Saint Valentine... 1250 01:17:54,844 --> 01:17:56,095 was beheaded. 1251 01:17:59,557 --> 01:18:01,475 You murdered innocent people. 1252 01:18:02,935 --> 01:18:04,937 - Share what you love. - Share what you love. 1253 01:18:07,231 --> 01:18:10,317 And we love hunting, killing... 1254 01:18:11,527 --> 01:18:12,653 Deceit. 1255 01:18:13,487 --> 01:18:15,531 Taking turns on our victims. 1256 01:18:17,157 --> 01:18:18,450 Murdering couples. 1257 01:18:22,037 --> 01:18:23,497 - It's our kink. - It's our kink. 1258 01:18:24,874 --> 01:18:26,792 Everybody's got a fetish. 1259 01:18:31,797 --> 01:18:34,465 Well, too bad we wasted your boyfriend at the drive-in. 1260 01:18:34,466 --> 01:18:37,386 Oh, God. He wasn't our boyfriend. 1261 01:18:37,803 --> 01:18:40,805 No, Eli was just a stupid fanboy. 1262 01:18:40,806 --> 01:18:42,473 He was obsessed with us. 1263 01:18:42,474 --> 01:18:43,725 He was obsessed with me. 1264 01:18:43,726 --> 01:18:45,436 Yeah. Learned a lot from me. 1265 01:18:46,437 --> 01:18:47,438 It just got messy. 1266 01:18:48,189 --> 01:18:49,314 Fuck! 1267 01:18:49,315 --> 01:18:50,649 I almost got you at home. 1268 01:18:51,483 --> 01:18:52,484 Go, go, go, go! 1269 01:18:53,861 --> 01:18:55,446 - I killed your driver. - ...lovebirds. 1270 01:18:56,322 --> 01:18:57,530 No, no, no! You've got the wrong people. 1271 01:18:57,531 --> 01:18:58,615 What are you-- 1272 01:18:58,616 --> 01:19:01,952 And I had a blast wasting those vile dickheads at the winery. 1273 01:19:04,246 --> 01:19:06,207 Ooh! That reminds me. 1274 01:19:07,208 --> 01:19:08,750 - Huh. - Found this. 1275 01:19:08,751 --> 01:19:12,504 God, you're the fucking best. 1276 01:19:12,505 --> 01:19:14,005 Isn't she the fucking best? 1277 01:19:14,006 --> 01:19:15,089 Yeah, I know. 1278 01:19:15,090 --> 01:19:16,800 And as luck would have it, 1279 01:19:18,010 --> 01:19:19,219 your initials match. 1280 01:19:19,220 --> 01:19:21,889 J. Shaw. 1281 01:19:22,348 --> 01:19:25,267 Jeanine Shaw, bitch. 1282 01:19:26,519 --> 01:19:28,853 Why us? We're not even a couple. 1283 01:19:28,854 --> 01:19:31,232 Just let him go! Let him go! 1284 01:19:32,107 --> 01:19:33,358 Truth be told, 1285 01:19:33,359 --> 01:19:35,986 we were gonna kill the other couple at the restaurant. 1286 01:19:37,404 --> 01:19:38,405 But then... 1287 01:19:39,782 --> 01:19:42,326 - we saw that kiss. - That kiss! God! 1288 01:19:43,035 --> 01:19:46,121 Your chemistry is undeniable. 1289 01:20:00,886 --> 01:20:04,013 Well, I didn't know that murder was a love language. 1290 01:20:04,014 --> 01:20:05,099 Try it. 1291 01:20:05,933 --> 01:20:07,184 Maybe you'll like it. 1292 01:20:12,815 --> 01:20:14,024 Pick it up. 1293 01:20:15,943 --> 01:20:16,944 Pick it up. 1294 01:20:18,112 --> 01:20:20,154 There's a single bullet in that chamber 1295 01:20:20,155 --> 01:20:22,658 with one single choice, him or you. 1296 01:20:32,126 --> 01:20:33,751 We may have mistaken you for lovers 1297 01:20:33,752 --> 01:20:36,630 at the beginning of the night, but can you prove us right? 1298 01:20:37,339 --> 01:20:39,174 Could you save his life with yours, 1299 01:20:39,175 --> 01:20:42,553 thus proving that love really does conquer all? 1300 01:20:44,430 --> 01:20:46,932 If you don't love him, kill him. 1301 01:20:48,309 --> 01:20:49,643 And you're free to go. 1302 01:20:53,439 --> 01:20:54,440 Wow. 1303 01:20:57,151 --> 01:20:59,862 You know, your dedication is impressive. 1304 01:21:02,615 --> 01:21:03,991 It's twisted as fuck, but-- 1305 01:21:09,496 --> 01:21:10,664 Jay. 1306 01:21:13,751 --> 01:21:16,962 I've spent so long running from love. 1307 01:21:19,548 --> 01:21:21,467 Convinced it would destroy me. 1308 01:21:29,225 --> 01:21:30,976 I don't wanna be that person anymore. 1309 01:21:35,898 --> 01:21:37,691 I want the storybook thing. 1310 01:21:44,782 --> 01:21:47,326 It was just one single night... 1311 01:21:51,455 --> 01:21:53,290 but I fell hard for you, Jay. 1312 01:22:02,633 --> 01:22:05,844 No, no, no. Don't do that. 1313 01:22:05,845 --> 01:22:07,720 No! No, hey. 1314 01:22:07,721 --> 01:22:09,472 Hey. Hey, no. 1315 01:22:09,473 --> 01:22:11,851 - No, no! Ally! - Forgive me. 1316 01:22:23,320 --> 01:22:24,697 Baby, no! 1317 01:22:25,781 --> 01:22:27,073 - Come on. - Oh, you shot me. 1318 01:22:27,074 --> 01:22:29,075 Sorry, I overcorrected. 1319 01:22:29,076 --> 01:22:30,494 That's a lucky fucking shot. 1320 01:22:38,544 --> 01:22:40,921 Ally, did you mean what you said? 1321 01:22:42,089 --> 01:22:43,090 Come on. 1322 01:22:43,716 --> 01:22:45,009 Pookie. 1323 01:22:45,843 --> 01:22:47,302 Chop that pretty boy up. 1324 01:22:47,303 --> 01:22:48,928 I'm gonna have fun with this one. 1325 01:22:48,929 --> 01:22:51,181 - No. No. - Oh, yes, Mommy. 1326 01:22:51,182 --> 01:22:54,310 No! No! Don't you fucking touch him! No! 1327 01:22:55,519 --> 01:22:56,520 No! 1328 01:22:57,188 --> 01:22:58,189 No! 1329 01:23:02,276 --> 01:23:04,028 You shouldn't have shot me, bitch. 1330 01:23:13,662 --> 01:23:14,747 Hey, hey, come on. 1331 01:23:15,873 --> 01:23:17,041 Look at her go. 1332 01:23:20,794 --> 01:23:22,755 Oh, you don't wanna miss this, do you? 1333 01:23:23,589 --> 01:23:25,131 Isn't she perfect? 1334 01:23:25,132 --> 01:23:26,383 You talk too much. 1335 01:23:43,526 --> 01:23:45,402 I'm gonna fucking kill you both. 1336 01:23:59,917 --> 01:24:01,126 You watching, Jay? 1337 01:24:02,503 --> 01:24:04,255 I want you to see her die. 1338 01:24:09,802 --> 01:24:11,262 Love hurts, bitch. 1339 01:25:35,179 --> 01:25:36,722 Your day fucking sucks. 1340 01:25:41,352 --> 01:25:42,353 Jay. 1341 01:25:43,187 --> 01:25:44,313 Jay. Hey. 1342 01:25:45,064 --> 01:25:46,065 Hey. 1343 01:25:46,899 --> 01:25:47,900 Hi, you. 1344 01:25:48,275 --> 01:25:49,276 Hey. 1345 01:25:54,365 --> 01:25:56,700 I think you got over your fear of blood. 1346 01:25:58,911 --> 01:26:00,286 I'm gonna kill you. 1347 01:26:00,287 --> 01:26:02,081 I'll fucking kill you. 1348 01:26:02,581 --> 01:26:04,124 I'm gonna fucking kill you. 1349 01:26:17,763 --> 01:26:18,848 Planet saved. 1350 01:26:21,016 --> 01:26:22,226 Planet saved. 1351 01:26:48,043 --> 01:26:50,962 Now, if you told me that, a year ago, 1352 01:26:50,963 --> 01:26:54,924 I'd be drinking to the highest recorded sales 1353 01:26:54,925 --> 01:26:57,010 in Crystal Cane history, I'd say, 1354 01:26:57,011 --> 01:26:59,762 "Y'all just a lying sack of hot trash." 1355 01:26:59,763 --> 01:27:02,600 But... here we are. 1356 01:27:03,893 --> 01:27:07,479 And it's all thanks to these two marketing mavens. 1357 01:27:11,066 --> 01:27:13,110 Right here. These two. 1358 01:27:14,153 --> 01:27:16,070 Now, Ally. I am, 1359 01:27:16,071 --> 01:27:17,822 believe it or not, mildly devastated 1360 01:27:17,823 --> 01:27:19,533 that this is your last day. 1361 01:27:20,075 --> 01:27:22,911 But I am proud of you for going, pursuing your dreams, 1362 01:27:22,912 --> 01:27:24,704 going back to doctor school. 1363 01:27:24,705 --> 01:27:27,165 All told, I really do hope that you're better with a needle 1364 01:27:27,166 --> 01:27:28,792 than you are with a pitch deck! 1365 01:27:31,587 --> 01:27:32,879 To success! 1366 01:27:32,880 --> 01:27:34,756 - To success! - To success. 1367 01:27:34,757 --> 01:27:35,841 Wait. 1368 01:27:37,468 --> 01:27:38,469 To love. 1369 01:27:45,559 --> 01:27:46,560 Hey, baby. 1370 01:27:47,144 --> 01:27:48,145 Hi. 1371 01:27:49,104 --> 01:27:50,146 What did I miss? 1372 01:27:50,147 --> 01:27:52,315 Hey, do you think it's weird having a date here 1373 01:27:52,316 --> 01:27:54,108 after everything that happened? 1374 01:27:54,109 --> 01:27:55,486 Nope. Not to me. 1375 01:27:56,362 --> 01:27:58,864 This is where I realized that I was in love with you. 1376 01:27:59,198 --> 01:28:01,533 So, feels symbolic. 1377 01:28:01,534 --> 01:28:03,160 Okay. Symbolic? 1378 01:28:03,786 --> 01:28:05,037 You think it's symb-- 1379 01:28:06,247 --> 01:28:08,915 Listen, don't freak out. Don't freak out. 1380 01:28:08,916 --> 01:28:11,377 I know stuff like this can freak you out, but... 1381 01:28:14,213 --> 01:28:16,340 Ally, this has been the best year of my life. 1382 01:28:18,592 --> 01:28:19,593 So... 1383 01:28:21,595 --> 01:28:23,097 will you move in with me? 1384 01:28:32,398 --> 01:28:33,399 Jay, I-- 1385 01:28:35,526 --> 01:28:36,735 I don't know what to say. 1386 01:28:38,070 --> 01:28:40,822 Yeah, no. I--I know where that's going. 1387 01:28:40,823 --> 01:28:42,198 - It's okay. - No, I-- 1388 01:28:42,199 --> 01:28:43,450 I don't want a key. 1389 01:28:46,120 --> 01:28:47,121 I don't want a key. 1390 01:28:51,542 --> 01:28:52,543 I want you. 1391 01:29:06,432 --> 01:29:07,683 Jay Simmonds... 1392 01:29:10,519 --> 01:29:11,645 will you marry me? 1393 01:29:23,073 --> 01:29:24,074 Yes. 1394 01:29:25,034 --> 01:29:26,618 - Yes? - Yes. Yes. 1395 01:29:26,619 --> 01:29:30,039 A million fucking times, yes. 1396 01:31:23,777 --> 01:31:24,777 Hello? 1397 01:31:24,778 --> 01:31:26,112 Roses are red, 1398 01:31:26,113 --> 01:31:27,990 violets are blue. 1399 01:31:29,074 --> 01:31:32,119 Guess who just took a picture of you? 1400 01:31:32,828 --> 01:31:33,829 Who is this? 1401 01:31:35,080 --> 01:31:36,289 Relax, bitch. 1402 01:31:36,290 --> 01:31:37,373 Too soon? 1403 01:31:37,374 --> 01:31:39,334 Monica, that's not funny! 1404 01:31:39,335 --> 01:31:40,920 Where even are you? 1405 01:31:41,795 --> 01:31:42,795 Did you get it? 1406 01:31:42,796 --> 01:31:44,297 Of course, I got it. Are you kidding me? 1407 01:31:44,298 --> 01:31:45,381 You look super cute. 1408 01:31:45,382 --> 01:31:46,966 I mean, I would have gotten a manicure, 1409 01:31:46,967 --> 01:31:48,593 but I told you that, and you're fine with that. 1410 01:31:48,594 --> 01:31:50,720 You're a natural gal. You look great. 1411 01:31:50,721 --> 01:31:54,475 Okay, enjoy the movie, fiancés. Love you. 1412 01:31:56,268 --> 01:31:58,145 Ally? Hello? 92516

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