All language subtitles for Alex, Inc. (2018) - S01E03 - The Butterfly Pavilion (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 t3nzin)_track3_[eng]

ALEX: All my life,
my second cousin Eddie

has believed he knows
what's best for me.

I'll have a passion fruit
iced tea, please.

Wrong!
He'll have a medium chai.

Extra dirty.
Oh, no, thanks.

I'm not a chai guy
or a dirty guy.

Trust me.
That's the move here.

I'm gonna turn you
into a dirty guy.

Oh, that's not what it
sounds like. We're cousins.

I've had to tell this guy
what he likes his whole life.

He was too scared...

ALEX: Yep.
It's always Eddie knows best.

And occasionally,
he does.

But other times, I mean,
take this Incubator,
for example, right?

Eddie found it
and talked me into signing
this ridiculously long lease.

It's not exactly perfect for
what we do here because...

(DOG BARKS)

Because of that.

Why are there dogs
in the Incubator?

Oh, they're with that new
start-up, Ruff Timez.

It's an app that pairs
depressed people

with dogs who need
companions.

Oh, I assumed that was
a newspaper for dogs

and all those guys
were the editors.

MARION: (SINGING)

The singing landlord
doesn't help.

(SINGING OPERA)

Good morning, Marion.

Well, good morning, Alex.
What's the good word?

Well, you know, I'm trying
to record my podcast.

(CHUCKLES) Good luck.
It's loud in here, huh?

(SINGING CONTINUES)

I think we're
gonna need...

(BLOW DRYER WHIRRING)

...to do some
offsite recording!
On it!

Al, get ready.

You are about
to be famous.

What the hell is that?

Strategically placed
bus-bench ads.

It's called
"creating buzz."

It looks like he's doing
a podcast about construction.

Or, or I'm a Village Person
who's been shunned

by the other
Village People.

Either way,
gets people talking.

Yeah, it gets them
talking about a guy

who's in love with
his extension cord.

Who told you
to do bus ads?

Nobody needed to tell me.
I knew it intuitively.

This is a really bad idea
on so many levels, okay?

We can't afford this,
we don't even have
an air-date,

it's a horrible
picture of me,

and even if you could tell
who it is,

nobody knows who I am.

Okay, now
do the pros.

**

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

Ugh. People keep
sending me pictures
of these bus-bench ads.

Some of them don't
even have penises

drawn on them,
like this one.

Oh, no.

There it is.
It's on my ear.

Looks mad.
Mmm.

Can you believe
he did this?

I mean, I'm the boss.
This is a big deal.

If I wanted my face plastered
all over the place,
it should be my decision.

At least I would have chosen
a more flattering picture.

All these penises are
highlighting my weak chin.

Well, if you want things
to be different,

you just got
to talk to him.

Oh, I wish there
was another option.

I'm not great at
confronting Eddie.
Hmm.

Well, I guess you could
just not talk to him

and hope that someday
the dynamic magically changes.

I like that one because
it has no confrontation,

and there's
a magic element.

Fine, I'll talk to him.

Hey, Dad! Look what I found
in the basement!

Look at that!

My old guitar,
the Beige Dragon.

I'm gonna learn
how to play it.

But I got to warn you,
learning to play
is pretty hard.

I spent many a year
grinding on that ax,

only to be left with some
tear-stained frets

and the first two chords
of Eye of the Tiger.

All I heard was
"Ben, I'm old."

I am, Ben. I am.
SORAYA: Hey, Dad.

Ms. Conway said
our field trip chaperones

have to be there
Wednesday morning at 8:00.

Oh, chaperoning.

I forgot about
that field trip, babe.

But it's
the Butterfly Pavilion.

You love
the Butterfly Pavilion.

More than you
could ever know.

With the beautiful
blue morphos
and the monarchs

and that hummingbird,
who's probably not even
supposed to be there.

I wonder what his story is.

But I can't, babe,
I'm so busy with work.

Well, I guess they'll have
to find another parent.

What, excuse me?

Is there anything
you'd like to ask me?

Yeah. What can't Dad
come to my field trip?

I'm a parent, too,
you know.

Yeah, but you never
do field trips.

You're always
too busy working.

Not never.

I took you
to the aquarium.

That was a lobster tank
at a seafood restaurant.

(SIGHS)

Oh, my God,
I'm a monster!

No, but you did manage to eat
the one lobster she named.

Poor Clawsy.

No. No, I'm serious.
This is a wake-up call
for me.

I always thought
we were a team

and I got credit
for you doing stuff,

but I guess she saw
right through that.

I don't want
my daughter to think

I'm not involved
in her life.

You know what, I'm gonna
call Ms. Hopkins

and tell her
I want to chaperone.

Great, but call
Ms. Conway,

'cause Hopkins
was last year.

Shut up.
Sweetie!

Guess what?

I'm going on
your butterfly field trip.

Really?
Yes.

Thanks, Mommy.
You got it, babe.

I recommend
the audio tour.

It's narrated
by Mickey Rourke.

He's a fellow
Butterfly-Boy.

Well, I found a few places
we could do our recording.

The best rate
is $100 an hour,

but with that one you have
to sign a rabies waiver.

Apparently, they're
having a raccoon issue.

EDDIE:
Whoa! Whoa, whoa.

Why are we renting space?

We're already renting
this space.

I could just build us
a booth right here.

You know what, Ed,
I appreciate the enthusiasm,

but I don't think
that's the way to go.

For starters, there's
no room for a booth here,

and we'd have to get,
like, a million people
to sign off on it.

I'm just not sure
it's worth the hassle.

I know you're not sure.
You're never sure.

That's why you got me.

You weren't sure
it was a good idea

to shave your head
that summer,

so I did it
while you were asleep.

And if I'm not mistaken,
that was the same summer

you almost lost
your virginity.

We're not building a booth.
We're going
with Deirdre's thing.

Okay, but we should
move quickly.

If I've already had rabies,
can I get it again?

Oh, when we were kids,
Eddie made me pet a possum.

He was so soft...

Till he bit me.
Aww...

Good times.

(GUITAR PLAYS BLUES RIFF)

Oh, my God.
That was amazing!

Yesterday, you hadn't
even touched a guitar.

How the hell did
you learn to...
YouTube.

I watched a couple of
instructional videos.

Pretty simple. I can also
make slime blindfolded
and clean a musket.

Wow!
See, if I had had the Internet
when I was learning,

it would have been
a whole different story.

That doesn't feel true,
does it, Dad?

No...

No, it doesn't.

So, Dad,
I was thinking

you're gonna need a music guy
to score your podcast,

I would like to throw
my hat into the ring.

Oh, Ben, composing
for a podcast

is actually quite
complicated.
Is it?

Don't you just need someone
to underscore

the emotion
of whatever's happening?

Well, kind of, but...
Don't you mean
"exactly"?

Well, it... It's
just not really

an appropriate job
for a 12-year-old.

(SOMBER TUNE PLAYS)

I see what
you're doing.

Hey, Al, so on
these field trips,

do the buses have outlets
so I can charge my laptop?

(LAUGHS)
Oh, wife.

Oh, sweet, adorable,
naive wife.

You're not gonna
get any work done.

They're gonna be coming at you
from all sides, okay?

Zoe S. gets carsick,

so you're gonna have to
remind her not to read.

Zoe F. is allergic
to everything

and yet is the most
adventurous eater
in the whole grade.

Noah B. needs
his five minutes.
Five minutes?

He's a budding
stand-up comedian.

Okay, listen.
I'm gonna be fine.

I got this.
I want to be
supportive.

I really do, but I'm
not gonna lie...

I'm kind of
scared for you.

(AGGRESSIVE TUNE PLAYS)

This is not
a job interview.

Get out of here.
Skedaddle.

Such a show-off.
He's a show-off.

You're here early.

Yeah, well, I got
to show you something.

Got a big surprise
for you.

Ha-ha! See?

I knew you'd love it.

Brand-new
recording booth.

I told you not
to do this.

But this solves
all our problems.

I want you to
take it down.
What?

Oh, my God!
ALEX: I know, right?

This booth
is incredible.

Alex, this might be
your best idea yet.

Today is the day
that Alex Schuman

became President
of this company.

Do you hear that?
Deirdre loves the booth.

It's not that great.
Come on.

Oh, you are being
too modest.

A two-person recording booth,
right here?

I mean, it's genius.
It only cost
1,100 bucks.

What? That's...
An incredible price.

Okay, stop saying nice things
about the booth.

Eddie did it
without permission.

Because there's
no downside.

What the hell
is this?
He did it.

There was no permission
and it was all his fault.
And I'm mad, too.

Okay, this is
a communal space.

If you want to use it,
I'm gonna have to start
charging you...

A lot.
Downside!

Okay, Marion,
let's talk about this.

Sure.
And what we can talk about

is me charging you
an extra...

400 bucks a month?
Yeah, good talk.

That's it.
Take it down.

Alex, can I have a word?

Okay, I know you're
mad at Eddie,

but I would just like
to point out

that I have done
a lot of research

on offsite
recording spaces.

And even with
the rent increase,

this would still be
a way better deal

than anything else
out there.

Deirdre, I can't
cave on this.

It... It's the principle
of the thing.

You are letting your pride
get in the way.

It's amazing!

Okay, fine,
but I'm still mad.

Eddie, Marion,
we'll pay for it.

Well, that was easy.
Should've asked for $700.

Always ask for $700,
you know that.

Eddie,
from here on out,

do not make any
decisions without running
it by me first.

Are we clear?
Okay, cuz,
whatever you say.

He's very cute
when he's upset, isn't he?

My ma used to call him
the "Little Volcano."

And stop telling stories
about when I was little!

And that right there is what
she'd call a major eruption.

(KIDS SHOUTING)

How many bodies?

Just eyeball it, Lydia.

Well, was there
DNA on the scene?

Dad never works
on the bus.

Well, no one knows
if Dad's job is real, sweetie.

Oh, Zoe F.! I don't know where
you got those Nutter Butters,

but maybe wait until
we're near an EpiPen
before you eat them.

No, I haven't
seen the Saw films.

Are there other movies
you can compare it to?

Hi, Zoe S.

Why are you
holding a book?

Zoe S.?
No, no, no, no!

CHILDREN: Ooh!

Ooh, clean up
on aisle 10.

WOMAN:
Turn around, Noah B.

I'm gonna have
to call you back.

ALEX:
All day long, it was like that
booth was staring at me,

saying, "So I guess you're
gonna keep letting Eddie
walk all over you, huh?"

Well, watch this,
you stupid booth.

Al! Just got off the phone
with a lady who'll give us

faster Internet
for the same price.

Thank you for bringing that
to my attention, Ed.
I'll consider it.

You need to consider
whether you want
faster Internet?

I don't like it when
it goes too fast.

But when you upload
your podcasts

it takes
a really long time.

Yes, which builds up
anticipation.

Thank you.

Oh, no, quickly,
shut the door.

A monarch is headed
for an escape.

Saved ya, buddy!

Remember, kids,

each one of these butterflies
is incredibly precious.

So, be careful of
your surroundings

while you're
in the pavilion.

And be on the lookout
for the blue morpho,

the rarest
butterfly here.
(KIDS GASPING)

We only have one, and it's
almost impossible to find him.

Mom!

Sorry, sweetie.

Now, if everyone can
get super quiet,

you can almost hear
the fluttering of their wings.

(CELL PHONE RINGS)

So sorry...
(RINGING CONTINUES)

Ah, yeah,
I have to, um...

You know what, I do think
I hear some fluttering
over in that direction.

What's up?
WOMAN: Okay, kids,
if you could look over here...

Why?
I didn't say that.

I never said that.
(CRUNCHING)

(CHILDREN GASP)
What?

Soraya's mom killed
the blue morpho!

SORAYA: Mom!

Found it.

ALEX: Part of me knew
I was acting like a child,

but in my head,
it was Eddie's fault
for treating me like one.

Ugh.
And now I couldn't stop.

Oh, God.
What's that smell?

Some of this food has been
sitting here forever.

I'm getting rid of it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, Eddie.

I should probably be
the one to decide that.

Decide whether to throw out
rotten food?

Absolutely. Please put
that guy back in there.

Thank you.
Come on, Al.

This is ridiculous.
Is it?

What if somebody
at our company

was planning on eating
that sandwich?

Like who?

Me.

I've had my eye on that guy
for a few weeks now.

It's rotten.
It smells like an old shoe.

Well, Eddie, some things
are better aged.

Wine, cheese, Clooney.

Mmm, old Clooney.

Well, it's almost
lunchtime.

Why don't you
eat it now?

I will.

Thank you for
bringing it to me.

Enjoy.

I plan to.

Alex...

Hoo!

**

(WHIMPERS)

Glad I didn't
throw it out.

(MUFFLED) Me, too.

All right, you know what,
that's it.

Can I speak to you
in private?
Mmm-hmm.

I'm gonna save
this for later.

Thank you.

Okay, I think I've figured out
what's going on here.

You're angry you didn't have
the idea for this booth.

So how about we tell everyone
it was your idea? Good?

No, not good.
You're missing
the point entirely.

This booth is a monument
to the fact

that you think you always
know what's best for me.

Well,
oftentimes I do.
No!

No, you don't, okay?

I am not little baby
cousin Alex anymore

who you can just
push around.

I am the boss
of this company,

and you need to start
understanding that.

Ooh, boy,
eruption coming.

See! Don't do that!
I hate it when you do that!

Stop it.
Or what?

You don't even want
to know what.

Will it be
lava-related?

It might be
something like this.

Oh!
Did you just push me?

Yeah, yeah.
And I might again.

Oh!

(GRUNTING)

Tried of you...
You are such a...

This is what you used
to do when we were kids.

And I hated it!

Oh, I swear to God...

Here it comes.
Aah!

Oh!
(PEOPLE GASP)

ALEX: God!

I never should have hired you
in the first place!

You seem upset.
Meet Duke.

**

You got into an actual
fight with Eddie?
You told me to!

I told you
to talk to him.

I didn't say anything about
crashing through
a wall of glass.

You're a grown-up.
He built
a whole sound booth

without my permission.
Whose side are you on?

Yours, honey.

But there is a reason
you hired Eddie.

He pushes you,
and that's a good thing.

Look, I know
you're hurting.

Yeah, particularly where
the glass shards
are still embedded.

But if Eddie didn't do
what Eddie always does,

you would be
a totally different guy.

He's a pain in the ass,
I know,
but he's good for you.

You're so smart.
Always know what to say.

No! No, I really don't.
(SIGHS)

After I assassinated
that blue morpho today,

Soraya wouldn't even
sit with me on the
bus-ride home.

In fact,
none of them would.

They kept calling me
"Madam Murder-Fly."

That sounds like
Noah B.'s handiwork.

He roasted me for like
10 minutes straight.

He's like a prepubescent
Don Rickles.

Why couldn't I
just turn my phone off
for a couple hours?

Because your job
is very important to you.

And you love it.
And you're a badass!

Come on, you do
murder trials

and defend
innocent people.

I promise you, babe...

I promise you, one day,
Soraya will realize

how awesome
and cool you are.

Thank you.

I guess I just wish there
was something I could do

to make her
realize it now.

Hold on.

Maybe there is.

(UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS)

What? I thought I'd
kick it up a notch.

Okay, can you go do
your homework, please?

He's really good.
He's fine.

Wait till he tries
Eye of the Tiger.

Okay, people, now we have
a special visitor.

(CHILDREN GASP)

It's her!
The Butterfly Slayer!

Mom, what are
you doing here?

Well, I just wanted
to tell everyone

how sorry I am
about what happened yesterday.

It was actually
my first field trip,

and I didn't know
the ropes because
I spend most of my time

at a place where there
are no butterflies.

How many were there
when you started?

(LAUGHTER)
Noah, sit down.

Okay.
Well, I actually spend most
of my time in a courtroom

because I'm a lawyer.

Now, does anyone know
what a lawyer does?

Okay, well, a lawyer
defends people

who are accused
of doing bad things.

Like stepping
on a butterfly?

Exactly, Zoe S.!

So, I talked to
Ms. Hopkins...
Conway.

Conway, and she said
that you can spend
the rest of the day

doing your multiplication
tables,

or I can stick around

and you can put me
on trial for murder.

Who's up for that?
CHILDREN: Me!

Let's do the murder!

Murder! Murder!

CHILDREN: (CHANTING)
Murder! Murder!

**

Eddie's still not here?

I don't think
he's coming in at all.

Why? Did he call you?

What did he say about me?
Never mind. I don't even care.

Well, since you clearly
don't care,

there's something that
I think you should hear.

Ben's demo?
I know.

He sent it to me, too.

I'm torn because
he's really amazing,

but the rate he quoted me
was just obnoxious.

Not that.

(BEEP)

EDDIE: Testing, testing.
One, two, three.

Okay, so, it's 6:00
in the morning.

This is the
inaugural recording
of our new booth.

Me and some guys,
don't worry about it,

we've been working all night,

and I cannot wait
for Alex to see this thing.

I finally did something
I know he's gonna be proud of.

(BEEP)

Then it's just, like,
seven minutes of him

trying to turn off
the recorder.

Eventually,
he just unplugs it.

**

Hey, Aunt Louise.
Hey, Alex!

What are you doing here?
Come on in!

Hi.
Oh, wow.

Is... Is Eddie here?

I can't find him. I tried
to get him on the phone.

He's not at his house.
Oh, yeah, I heard.

You had one of your eruptions.
Well, we don't
have to label it.

All right, just a minute.

AUNT LOUISE:
Alex wants to see you.

Tell him I'm not here.

He knows you're here!

Your car's
in the driveway.

Well, did he see it?
Take my keys,
move it around back.

I'm not supposed
to drive!
It's like 40 feet.

Go talk to him!

EDDIE: I swear to God, Ma.

Oh, no one told me
you were here.

Why didn't you
come to work, Ed?

Well, when the boss
tells you he wishes
he never hired you...

I'm sorry
I said that, okay?

And I'm sorry
I broke your booth.

Well, I'm sorry I made it
without asking,

but I was really
just trying to help.

It just felt like you
were treating me
like when we were kids.

You were always pushing me
around and bullying me.

I did no such thing.

You once replaced my lip gloss
with crazy glue

when I was supposed to sing
the Star-Spangled Banner.

I had to hum it.
You still hit
that high note.

Yeah, I did.

Truth is, I was always
a little jealous of you, Al,
so I did some dumb stuff.

Jealous?
Of course.

You were the smart one,
the one with the big ideas.

You were going places.
I always knew that.

And look at you now.
I was right.

So when you asked me
to come work for you,
I couldn't even believe it.

Really?
I guess I've been
trying to prove

you made a good choice
ever since.

Maybe I try a little
too hard sometimes.

Bus-bench ads might have
been a bridge too far.

It wasn't a great photo.
I see that now.

Why was I wearing
a construction hat?

Anyway, from now on,

I'll stop making you do things
you don't want to do.

Well, don't stop
completely.

'Cause the truth is,
sometimes I need
a little push.

Give me a hug, come on.

All right.

AUNT LOUISE: Are you hugging?
That sounds like a hug!

Ma, give us
some space!
All right!

We're hugging.

We're hugging.

ALEX:
It turned out Rooni was right.

I needed Eddie
for lots of reasons.

For starters, he helped me
put the booth back together.

**

And he even figured out
a way to get Marion
to waive his rent increase.

(VOCALIZING)

I have known this woman
for eight years.

You guys have probably only
known her for one day...

ALEX: I guess,
no matter how well
you know someone,

there's still a lot
to learn about them.

**

And with a little effort,

it's possible to see them
in a brand-new light.

(LAUGHTER)

And in the end,
the people you love
may make your life difficult,

they may "accidentally"
give you rabies,

but they will always
have your back.

**

Damn, buddy.
That is so amazing.

Are you sure you won't
budge on your fee?

Sorry, dad.
My hands are tied.

Well, I gave it a try.

Thanks anyway.

Fine!
I'll do it!

Man, you drive
a hard bargain.

Where'd you learn
to negotiate like that?

A little site
called YouTube.

Damn it!

And so, you must find
that my mom is innocent

because she killed
the butterfly by accident.

(WHISPERING)
You did so good.

Oh, now ask if they've
reached a verdict.

Everybody who thinks
she's guilty,
raise your hand.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight,
nine...

I can't even count that high.
Guilty!

Don't worry.
They're biased.

We just had a unit
on butterflies.

Next on the docket...
Smelt It v. Dealt It.

Let's do this.