Original subtitles

[Opening Music]

Ladies and gentlemen of the house...

can I just say... Merry bloody Christmas?

- Sit down!!

I love you all, and love Christmas,

and most of all, I LOVE Chrissy TV.

Mwah!

(TV) Oooo, that was nice! Thank you!

Let's watch this all day

and enjoy the Chrissy Programming on ABC,

SBS, Seven, Nine and Ten... gonna be sick brah.

Can't watch too much TV...

Sarah and I are going to the Santa pub crawl today,

already booked it years ago,

I even got us a private limo to take us around.

It's the biggest pub crawl in Woolongong.

Aw okay... sadzore

(BURP) Ooo some foodies I had earlier came up.

I do cute little burpies.

[crash]!

Merry Christmas, Sarah, Sarah's parents and RACHEL!!!

My Christmas present to myself

was creating my special shrinking ray gun

that turns people small!

And now I'm going to turn you small, Sarah!

RAAWRRRR.

- NOOO! - NOOO!

Oh my god! Why did you do that?

Um... I thought you would think it was... romantic?

I Dunno?

- Well, it's time to go. - I can't go like this,

I'm small.

We already got our tickets to the pub crawl,

we gotta go!

(SIGHS) It will be a little awkward but ok.

[crash]!

How dare you...

Come into this house and interrupt chrissy TV.

You will pay...

No! Please!

I was having a mental episode, I think!

[dance music]

HELLO, I'M THE CHRISSY EVENT MANAGER.

WELCOME TO THE WOLLONGONG SANTA PUB CRAWL!

HERE ARE YOUR CHRISTMAS COSTUMES!

Cheers. Thank you for putting on this event,

love good chat, good times, atmos and social times.

- Mwah! - Woowww!

[skulling drinks]

Whoa, Rachel!

Can you slow down a little bit! Remember, I'm small,

so you running around is like 10 g forces on my face.

It's Christmas. - Oi, Sarah. Rachel.

Come sit over here!

- Who are you? - I'm Jono,

we went to high school together.

Don't remember ya.

Peleeken, is that you?

Yo...

You look a bit different?

Soz... Just been going thru some shit.

I'm just in my head a little bit right now.

HI, just letting you know

we are going to the next pub right now!

So NEXT PUB, NEXT PUB, COME ON NEXT PUB.

LET'S GO, COME ON, NEXT PUB.

I've got a DELUXE LIMO booked by Rachel 3 years ago here!

Yep that's me!! Oh my god limmooo I wanna come.

Ugh, I guess you'z can come in...

but it was suppose to be for Sarah and I.

[bell rings]

Ow. - Oh no!

Oi Sarah senpai, if I ever pass out

on one of our club slash party adventures,

you gotta carry me to the end...

I can't miss out on an adventure with you...

even if I'm passed out.

Understood, Rachel.

[screaming]!

[sniffing]

[dramatic music]

I'M GONNA GET YA I'M GONNA GET YA

I'M GONNA GET YA, YOU INTERRUPTED CHRISSY TV

I'M GONNA GET YA AND EAT YA.

OH Hello, sorry

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

No sorry! I'll leave! I was just running away fro-

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! STEVEN GET IT OUT!!!

I'M TOO SCARED!!!!

[smash]!

MMMMM...Donuts. (BURP).

[crash]!

RAA, WHERE ARE YOU LUCAS?!?!?!

ALRIGHT SECOND PLACE, LETS ALL HAVE FUN SANTA'SSS!!

Christmas time!!

Wait, it's Christmas? I didn't know that.

- Me neither! I love Christmas...

(SINGING) We didn't know it was Christmas time.

We was just wearing these Christmas costumes

as a coincidence but we love Christmas.

We all love Christmas and we sing it together,

we all love CHRISTMAS TIME!

Good job us (CLAPPING) Good job,

that was a good song that we all just sang,

that was good, oh yes it was, it was, good job, oh yes.

Thank you very much, thank you very much.

This is fun, love hanging around you lot...

Christmas rocks!!

Yeah I'm glad I got invited to whatever thiss ISSS!!

Sorry, who are you?

YEAHH WHATEVER

I'VE GOT AN ITCH ON MY HEAD, I'VE GOT AN ITCH!

URGHH! THANK YOU FOR INVITING MEE!!

I wish Rachel was conscious so she could be enjoying

this Christmas event though.

You really love ya friend don't ya...

to be bringing her along

to this whole crazy Christmas adventure.

You rock, Sarah.

Yeah... I promised her something...

if I promise a friend something, I gotta keep it.

Wow, I love how sincere you are...

wish I had that positive mind...

I wanna travel the world but I can't get me passport

cause I'm a stripper pole...

Cause I'm not technically human...

So that gets me down all the time.

Boo hoo.

Oh... I'm sorry.

Nah, it's all good, I'm just venting.

Where am I? It's cold... - Hi.. Hi there,

Do you wanna vote to keep Santa Claus in

for next reelection?

He's promising to clean up homelessness

in the north pole...

and this time he's REALLY gonna do it,

I promise!

Nah, I wanna get outa here and go back to the Santa crawl.

Ohhh really?

Um sorry that you have to hear this

but if you passed out and landed here,

it's like a weird reality glitch

where you're stuck here forever.

WHAT?! FOREVER?! HERE?! ROAR!

Soz! Well...

I guess, if you meet Santa, he does grant wishes.

Really?

Cool then I can wish to go back home?

Yeah I guess.

Then take me to see Santa Claus.

No probs.

(SINGING) Off to see Santa Claus,

off to see Santa Claus, off to see Santa Claus, wee!

Off to see Santa Claus, off to see Santa Claus,

off to see Santa Claus, wee!

Here we are!

WE just gotta go up there and Santa Claus lives up there!!

Alright.

Just fly up!! And we'll get there in no time!

Alright.

[jet engines]

Wow. We're really flying!

You're like Neo from The Matrix - Wow!

I'm gonna meet SANTAAA!

[crawling through ducts]

We'll find ya eventually...

cut ya to pieces.

(WHISPER TO SELF) Agh,

why did I stay up Christmas night

making a Shrinking Ray Gun!

I just wanted Sarah to become small because...

gah, I don't know why! Whats wrong with me!!!

[beep, beep, beep]

(QUICK, SOFTLY TO SELF) Gonna get ya, gonna get ya,

ruined Christmas TV watching day,

ruined everything, gotta get ya, oo, ee, oo,

Christmas... oo, ee, oo, huh.

I'm inssaaneee...

[texting]

Santa, it's Christmas Day.

Come out and spend some time with your Nan,

she's nearly dead. - (BIG GROWN SIGH) LATER!

[crash]!

Who are you?

Santa Claus.

Pictured you... to look a bit different.

What do you want? - Hi Santaaa, I love you!

I've been volunteering for you on the streets

for the next election!

Thank you citizen. - Um excuse me...

can I ask for a Christmas wish?

Oooo yeah, I grant those!!!! What is it?

I wanna go back to-...

Huh... you know what... today I did it again.

I was a bad friend... My best friend Sarah

was turned small by a neckbeard freak

we always have to deal with named Lucas

and I didn't even comment on it,

I was too focussed on the Santa pub crawl.

Why do I always do that?

Hmm... do what?

Be a cunt...

Who cares... live laugh love...

You know what, I know what my wish is,

I want Sarah to be normal sized again.

I want her to enjoy life as normal sized Sarah...

not small sized Sarah.

Love that wish.

And I guess I'll just stay here forever then...

Well I'm actually traveling to Wollongong

for the Santa pub crawl so,

if your other wish was to return back home,

I can do that, easy.

Really?! Yes please!

Alright, no worries.

Lets go to WOLLONGONGG!!!

I wanna come too!!!!

WEEEEEEEEE! Up we go in the sky!

Hey everyone, sooo the Prince's Highway

is closed for construction

so we gotta take the Rainbow worm hole to the last pub,

is that cool? - Yep.

Sounds good.

Gosh I hope Rachel wakes up soon.

There she is!

There's my best friend who needs to be normal sized again!

Alright, here we go...

SANTA POWER CHRISTMAS WISH ELECTICITY!!

Rachel! I'm so glad you woke up

and get to enjoy the Santa Pub Crawl!

And I'm so glad that my Sarah is normal sized again.

- ILY! - ILY!

[dramatic music]

Wait! Sorry!

I realise now why I wanted to turn Sarah small!

It was because... if she's small...

I feel bigger...

and... if I feel bigger... it makes me feel like...

I'm heard... aaas a human being.

Wait... you turned Sarah small?

I've always said it'd be cool if Sarah was small.

You have said that dear. - I did say that didn't I?

You know what, you're pretty cool actually...

sorry for trying to kill ya,

I was just upset you interrupted Christmas TV

but I can just watch STAN tonight instead.

We cancelled our STAN subscription.

WHAT THE FUUUCKK?!?!?

You know what?

Sarah and Rachel were talking about going on

a Santa pub crawl... if we go now,

we could hang out with them for the rest of the night

and have fun? - GREAT IDEA!!!!

House ship... ACTIVATE.

[rocket engines]

WOOO!! It was a great idea to come to the Santa pub crawl!

Yeah it just gives off good magical Christmas vibes!

What the F is up PEOPLE?!

DAD!

Your mum's on the TOILET!!!

Oh, okay. What are you doing here?!

Hi Sarah...

sorry for turning you small this morning.

Um, that's okay. Santa turned me back to normal.

We're gonna come along with ya to the last pub

on your Santa pub crawl if that's okay...

but first, a little detour.

NooOOO don't take control of my driving, pleeasee!

[dramatic music]

I told you I was insanneee!

[dramatic music]

There was a legend of the Christmas LOLLIESSS

in this man's mouth

and It actually was true and I found them.

Yay! yay, Hoorah! Christmas lollies!

Hooray Christmas lollies!

[crash]!

[dance music]

YOU'RE A POLE. YOU'RE A POLE TOO. LET'S KISS!

I love Christmas, I love you Christmas,

I love my friends, I love my friends,

I love my christ- I love Sarah and Rachel.

I love Sarah and Rachel. I love Sarah, I love my friends.

Oh fuck, I think I left my debit card

back at the first club, can we go back?