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1
00:00:01,836 --> 00:00:04,504
[Rings]
2
00:00:04,589 --> 00:00:06,840
Honeydew! What's up?
3
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:09,634
Guess who's here.
Your dad!
4
00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:13,388
[Chuckles]
He drove his R.V. All
the way up from Cocoa Beach.
5
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:15,765
Hey, Son, working hard?
6
00:00:15,892 --> 00:00:17,893
He's gonna say
"Hardly working."
[Chuckles]
7
00:00:17,977 --> 00:00:20,854
I meant to tell you
he was driving out.
8
00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,731
Did he say it?
Oh, yeah.
9
00:00:22,815 --> 00:00:26,193
- Good kid.
- He wasn't supposed to
show up for a few more days.
10
00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:28,945
Well, guess what he brought us.
11
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:31,615
A dog... to keep.
12
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,867
Yes! Yes.
13
00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:38,163
Yes, I should have told
Claire about the dog,
and I was going to.
14
00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,957
But I was just waiting for her
to be in the right mood.
15
00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:45,003
Actually, I did get one right mood
a couple nights ago,
16
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:48,590
but I cashed that in
for something else.
17
00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:53,386
- Am I in trouble?
- Oh, really, really big.
18
00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:56,139
Okay, I'm a little scared.
How bad is this?
Oh, well-
19
00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:59,601
We have a new rule-
no sleeping in the bedroom.
[Chuckles]
20
00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:07,817
Mr. Pritchett.
Uh, Ben- Ben Dugan.
21
00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:10,362
I went to high school with Mitch.
We were in the drama club together.
22
00:01:10,446 --> 00:01:12,155
That's right.
Yeah.
23
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,741
Geez, I didn't
recognize you without
that old-guy makeup on.
24
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,452
You know, you and Mitch
knocked The Sunshine Boys
out of the park.
25
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:20,455
Mitch was really great in that.
I always thought he should be an actor.
26
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:23,250
Yeah, he's got a real job now.
He's a lawyer. How about you?
27
00:01:23,376 --> 00:01:26,127
Still acting.
Fantastic.
28
00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:29,047
Actually, it's exciting. I'm in a new movie,
Maple Drive. Just came out.
29
00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:31,591
You're kidding me. Look at me.
I know somebody famous.
30
00:01:31,676 --> 00:01:33,802
Uh, anyway, I got to go.
31
00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:36,554
Great to see you.
Good to see you too.
Yeah.
32
00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:39,057
Kid's a movie star.
33
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:41,059
Hey, how'd it go in there?
No cavities.
34
00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:44,062
And I got a free toothbrush.
Hey, you want to
go to the movies?
35
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,731
I just heard about a good one.
But I'm supposed to be
in school.
36
00:01:46,816 --> 00:01:49,109
Well, you're supposed to
floss too, but you got
away with that one.
37
00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,152
Come on. Let's go.
38
00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:53,154
[Jay]
One of the greatest days of my life...
39
00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:56,992
was when my old man
sprung me from school
and took me to the track.
40
00:01:57,076 --> 00:01:59,286
I wanted to do the same
type of thing for Manny,
41
00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:03,373
plus I figured when
Gloria heard about it, maybe
it pays off in the bedroom.
42
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,835
I wonder if that's
why my old man did it.
43
00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:09,754
Oh, crap.
44
00:02:09,839 --> 00:02:12,382
[Dad] Your mother-in-law
just had to have the dog.
45
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,509
Turns out she's allergic.
46
00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:18,471
And the pet store
didn't have a grace period
or a return policy or anything?
47
00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:20,432
I got him from the pound.
48
00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:25,020
Was there a twister in Kansas?
'Cause there's a house
in my driveway.
49
00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:28,648
Welcome home, Mr. Dunphy.
Uh, always a pleasure,
Mr. Dunphy.
50
00:02:28,733 --> 00:02:32,402
Indeed it is, Mr. Dunphy.
Place it there.
51
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,613
- Oh, I shall. I shall.
- I miss this. Get in here.
52
00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:37,157
[Phil]
My dad is awesome.
53
00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:40,493
He's awesome. He's always up.
He's always happy.
54
00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:43,830
I mean, he and I are best buds.
We're like two peas in a pod.
55
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:47,417
Or Siamese twins.
Or a snake with two heads.
56
00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:50,462
They've actually been all
those things for Halloween.
Yeah.
57
00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:52,881
Oy. This must be Scout, huh?
58
00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:56,676
I should warn you. He sheds.
I made the mistake of letting
him sleep with me on the road.
59
00:02:56,761 --> 00:03:00,096
Now my sheets look like
two bigfoots did it.
Pardon the language.
60
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:03,475
[Chuckles]
How's Mom?
Speaking of big feet, eh?
61
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,769
She's on a cruise
with her girlfriends,
62
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,812
some of which are not
totally unattractive.
63
00:03:07,897 --> 00:03:11,066
Oh, that reminds me.
She sent some gifts for the kids.
64
00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:13,068
Um, I will be right back.
65
00:03:13,152 --> 00:03:16,071
- You three get better acquainted.
- Will do!
66
00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:17,697
Bye!
Will do!
67
00:03:17,782 --> 00:03:20,450
I cannot believe you got a dog
without consulting me.
68
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,577
This was a major family decision.
69
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,162
It was wrong.
Yeah.
70
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:25,455
And I'm sorry.
Mmm.
71
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,540
But we have talked about
getting a dog for years,
72
00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:29,292
and you're the only one
who wasn't into it.
73
00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:31,669
Because I knew that I would be
the one taking care of it.
74
00:03:31,796 --> 00:03:33,254
That's not true.
Uh-
75
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:35,715
No, we will all help.
Mm-hmm?
76
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:39,386
This is a great chance to
teach the kids responsibility.
77
00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:42,138
That is exactly what you said
about Luke's paper route.
78
00:03:48,938 --> 00:03:50,897
[Man]
♪ Hey, hey ♪
79
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:55,068
♪ Hey, hey
Hey, hey ♪
80
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:58,321
♪ Hey, hey
Hey ♪♪
81
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:04,285
Hello?
♪♪ [Suspenseful]
82
00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:06,663
Is anyone in there?
83
00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:13,002
[Gasps]
84
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:18,883
[Breathing Heavily]
85
00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:21,261
Red's a good color on you.
86
00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:23,555
[Screaming]
87
00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:26,057
[Whimpers]
[Knife Slashing]
88
00:04:26,142 --> 00:04:28,059
It's just a movie.
89
00:04:28,144 --> 00:04:30,061
[Haley]
Oh, he's so cute.
90
00:04:30,146 --> 00:04:34,983
Look at his little face.
I always wanted a dog.
Thanks, Grandpa.
91
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:37,277
Okay, but remember, having a dog
is a major responsibility.
92
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:39,529
Everyone in the family
has to pitch in.
93
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,615
- Can do, Mrs. D.
- Not you, Dylan.
94
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:44,784
Oh, phew. 'Cause I got
a lot on my plate right now.
95
00:04:44,869 --> 00:04:47,120
[Phil]
Hey, look who's here.
Uncle Cam.
96
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:50,498
Hey, we heard about
the new addition and we
had to come right over.
97
00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:54,711
Cameron,
so good to see you again.
Now that is a shirt.
98
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,380
Oh, well, thank you, Frank.
I get 'em online.
I'll send you a link.
99
00:04:57,465 --> 00:05:00,425
Oh, well, at home,
I smoke sausages.
I'll send you a link.
100
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,135
[Laughs]
Classic.
101
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,888
And this must be Lily.
Oh, yes.
102
00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:06,806
Aww!
She just couldn't wait
to meet the new doggy.
103
00:05:06,891 --> 00:05:10,810
I think she's good right here.
Let me get in there and get
some of that doggyness.
104
00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:13,313
Oh, there it is.
Haley.
105
00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:14,981
There it is.
I gotta go.
106
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:18,109
What's wrong?
That was Brian.
He just quit the band.
107
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:22,447
What? Why?
He's moving to Portland.
His parents got back together.
108
00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:24,491
Oh, that sucks.
I know.
109
00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:26,868
[Dylan]
Now we're gonna have to
cancel the gig tomorrow.
110
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:28,870
Maybe you can find
another drummer.
111
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,164
No. I think it's
too late for that now.
112
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,832
I play drums.
113
00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:35,585
Huh?
Well, I mean, I haven't
played in a while,
114
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:40,715
since Lily's come along,
but if you're in a jam, I can jam.
115
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:44,928
Well, I totally would, but
I'm not sure we like the same
sorts of music, you know?
116
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,013
What, because I'm gay,
I'm just gonna want to
play show tunes?
117
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,224
No, because you're old.
118
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:52,393
Wow. That hurt more, Dylan.
119
00:05:52,478 --> 00:05:55,021
Give him a chance.
It's better than canceling.
120
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:59,150
You're right. I don't want to lose
the deposit on that fog machine.
121
00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:01,194
Okay. Let's do it.
122
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:04,489
I used to be a music teacher,
but I gave that up as soon
as Lily came along.
123
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,574
Yes. Well, we just felt that
it was really important...
124
00:06:06,659 --> 00:06:08,618
that one of us stayed home
to raise her, so-
125
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,703
Yeah, and that's not a judgment
on other people's choices.
126
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:15,333
It's just that we happen to be
a very traditional family.
Mm-hmm.
127
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:19,337
Yes, that's what the disabled
lesbian shaman who blessed
Lily's room said too.
128
00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,719
How you doin', buddy?
[Whimpers]
129
00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:29,472
All right, relax.
130
00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:33,268
[Sobbing]
131
00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:40,441
[Wailing]
132
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:46,155
Oh, geez.
133
00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:54,122
I am telling you, Phil,
the man was crying.
134
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:56,416
That is impossible.
My dad is the happiest guy on earth.
135
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,126
It probably just sounded like
he was crying.
136
00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:00,878
Have you heard the noise
he makes when he gets
out of a chair?
137
00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:04,090
No. I know what I heard.
I think this has something
to do with your mom.
138
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,968
What?
Yeah, he came here alone.
Think about it.
139
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:10,972
She's on a cruise.
Yeah, and they never take
separate vacations, so-
140
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:15,101
No. No, if something was wrong,
my dad would tell me about it.
141
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:18,396
No, Phil, he wouldn't,
because you guys never actually
talk about anything.
142
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,399
We talk all the time.
He crank calls me at work,
like, three times a week.
143
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,443
Crank calls don't count.
Counts for fun.
144
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:27,405
No, honestly, I think
that you should find out
what's going on with your dad.
145
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:31,451
It's going to be nothing.
My dad isn't like your dad.
146
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,620
There's nothing
deep and dark inside.
147
00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:37,081
His hard candy shell
is just hiding more candy.
148
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:41,169
- [Scout Barks]
- I think he wants to go out.
Good boy.
149
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:45,715
Smart dog.
I hate to break it to you,
but I think all dogs can do that.
150
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,300
I'm gonna play outside.
151
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,927
- [Crash]
- Ow!
152
00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:52,972
Uh! What happened?
153
00:07:53,057 --> 00:07:54,974
[Cameron]
Okay.
154
00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:57,393
Should I just play
a little something?
155
00:07:57,478 --> 00:08:00,855
Yeah. But, you know,
if it doesn't work out,
don't feel bad.
156
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:05,068
Well, hopefully this is-
this is like riding a bicycle,
157
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,570
and it'll all
come back to me.
158
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:10,323
♪♪ [Bass Drum]
That's the loud one.
159
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:13,409
So... here we go.
160
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,635
Hmm.
161
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,762
Oh, silly me.
162
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,348
I had the sticks
in the wrong hands.
163
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,325
Wow.
164
00:08:54,410 --> 00:08:57,495
Dude, you should
label those sticks.
165
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,163
[Clicks Tongue]
166
00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:01,499
[Doorbell Ringing]
167
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:03,584
[Ringing Continues]
168
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:06,295
Is that the alarm?
Has our perimeter
been breached?
169
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,006
It's not the alarm.
The doorbell won't stop ringing.
170
00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:10,967
Maybe a demon
is ringing it.
Not a demon.
171
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:14,220
¡Ay! Who keeps ringing
the doorbell?
172
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:17,056
We're pretty sure
it's a demon.
Oh, yeah?
173
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,850
[Ringing Stops]
[Grunts]
There.
174
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,893
If it were a demon,
it would keep on ringing.
175
00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:24,188
Not if he's already inside.
I'm getting a weapon.
176
00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:26,524
What were you thinking?
177
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:29,652
Who takes a little boy
to a horror movie?
That's loco, Jay.
178
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,821
This is no big deal.
You want scary?
179
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:35,032
When I was his age,
I lived through
the Cuban Missile Crisis.
180
00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:37,243
I slept with a butter knife
under my pillow...
181
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,871
in case I had to fight
some Soviet colonel.
182
00:09:39,955 --> 00:09:43,082
Why would they send
a Soviet colonel
to get a little boy?
183
00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:45,752
Because I could identify
every commie plane.
184
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,962
What are we talking about?
185
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,256
Look, all I'm saying, being
scared is part of growing up.
186
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:54,385
Manny will get over this.
It builds character.
187
00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:58,598
I'll take the first watch.
You two might as well
get some rest.
188
00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:00,933
It's gonna be a long night.
189
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,812
Character.
190
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,732
Dad?
191
00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:10,109
Come on in!
It's open!
Hey!
192
00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:12,570
Ah, don't tell me.
You need a cup of sugar.
193
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:15,406
[Chuckles]
Nah. Just, uh-
194
00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:19,619
I was just wondering,
I don't know, uh-
195
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:21,370
Anything on the old noodle?
196
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:25,082
Other than a bad toupee?
I'm kidding, of course.
This is my real hair.
197
00:10:25,209 --> 00:10:28,628
Well, okay.
Wait a minute. I want to
ask you something.
198
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:32,006
Am I putting you
in a bad position with
this whole dog thing?
199
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:35,218
Claire seemed a little put out.
Oh, don't worry about it.
200
00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:39,847
Claire didn't like me at first either.
I can't blame her. Dismissed!
201
00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:44,143
[Chuckles]
Oh, Dad, um, you know what? I, uh-
202
00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:48,481
Claire saw something,
and she'd kill me if I-
if I didn't ask.
203
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,067
What is it?
204
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:57,907
Would you wear
pants to breakfast,
for crying out loud?
205
00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:00,910
You got me again.
Right in the funny bone.
All right.
206
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,037
Come on, Scout. Let go of it.
[Growling]
207
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:05,289
No, no, no! Oh!
208
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:07,500
Dog. Look at this.
209
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,836
How did he get
ahold of your bra?
210
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:13,005
Well, uh, we were out on a date,
and he has a really nice car, so-
211
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:15,466
How do you think?
He got it out of the laundry basket.
212
00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:17,760
Can't take my eyes
off that dog for a second.
213
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:20,304
- Why don't you just
keep him in the crate?
- I tried that.
214
00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:23,474
He figured out how to get out.
I thought you were dealing
with your dad.
215
00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,518
Oh, yeah,
I did. He's fine, so-
216
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:28,980
Whoa! You got that from
a two-minute conversation?
217
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:34,110
I... asked him point-blank
if he was okay. He said he was.
So I just-
218
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:37,405
Just swapped some jokes
and moved on.
219
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:39,866
Phil, the man needs more
of a push than that.
220
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:43,953
Look, if he wants to
talk to me about it, he will.
221
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,913
Geez, someone's panties
are in a bunch.
222
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,749
I thought I was
showing concern and-
No. Right there.
223
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:51,878
Oh, my God!
That damn dog!
224
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:54,714
Guys, little help?
225
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:58,175
I have to go to the bathroom,
and I'm not gonna do it in here.
226
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:04,348
♪♪ [Drumming]
227
00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:10,438
- Hey, I got Chinese.
- Sweet! I'm starving.
228
00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:14,775
- Oh, we have guests.
- Yeah. Hey. We're just
having a little jam session.
229
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:17,820
You know Dylan.
This is Craig. This is Neil.
230
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,239
I'll always remember him
as the stranger holding my baby.
231
00:12:20,324 --> 00:12:22,783
Can I talk to you
in the kitchen for a second?
232
00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:26,120
Yeah. Hey, guys, let's, uh-
let's just take five.
233
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:28,247
What's up with
21 Jump Street?
234
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:31,417
Oh, well, their drummer quit
and I'm gonna fill in for him
tomorrow night.
235
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:34,629
No, no. We have Pepper's
après-ski fondue party
tomorrow night, Cam.
236
00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:36,631
Oh, no.
237
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:39,675
So you'll just have to tell
your band that they're gonna
have to find someone else.
238
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,720
You know what? No. I'm not
gonna let these fellas down.
I made a commitment.
239
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,764
You made two
commitments, okay?
240
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:47,266
And you know how Pepper is.
Everything has to be perfect.
241
00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:49,477
He gets mad if you
don't wear a big sweater.
242
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:52,772
Yeah, I remember. I got so hot
last year, I almost went face down
in the gruyère.
243
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:54,857
So I'm going by myself,
is that what you're saying?
244
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:57,610
[Exhales]
I just feel like I kind of need this.
245
00:12:57,694 --> 00:13:00,404
To round out
your college applications?
246
00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:03,115
It's just that because
I'm always home with Lily...
247
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,451
I just feel like I'm going
a little bit stir-crazy.
248
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:08,371
Look at the den.
Every time I finish painting it,
I start all over again.
249
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,290
It's like the Golden Gate Bridge.
250
00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:13,918
I'm gonna go back to jamming.
251
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:19,256
[Grunts, Screams]
252
00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,219
Yeah, we gotta fix this.
Ay.
253
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:31,394
♪♪ [Speakers: Rock]
[Chattering]
254
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:36,107
Hey, what's with the big
sweater at a concert?
Is that a gay thing?
255
00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:39,777
No, Dad. It's for my friend
Pepper's après-ski fondue-
256
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:42,238
Yeah. Yeah, it's a gay thing.
257
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,449
Hope they start soon.
I don't think Scout
likes to be left alone.
258
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:48,995
You love the dog.
259
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:51,288
No, I don't love the dog.
I love my couch.
260
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:54,333
And the dog was looking at it
like it was a giant sausage.
261
00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:56,585
Good news, you two.
You're getting your driveway back.
262
00:13:56,712 --> 00:13:59,255
I'm hitting the open road
in the morning.
Oh, already?
263
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,257
Yeah.
Anxious to get home
and see Mom, huh?
264
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,259
No, I'm just gonna drive
wherever the wind blows me,
265
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,052
which is usually
into the next lane.
266
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:07,054
[Alex]
Can we get some sodas,
Grandpa?
267
00:14:07,139 --> 00:14:09,473
Okay, but just one.
I'm driving. Come on.
[Alex Chuckles]
268
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:15,646
He's not going home? He's never
been away from my mom for longer
than a doctor's appointment.
269
00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:17,648
Honey, I know.
I told you.
270
00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:19,984
I always felt bad for people
with emotionally distant fathers.
271
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:21,527
It turns out I'm one of 'em.
272
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,905
It's a miracle
I didn't end up a stripper.
273
00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:26,907
Hey. Thanks, everybody,
for coming out.
274
00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:28,951
These are some songs
we wrote.
275
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:32,329
One, two.
One, two, three.
276
00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:36,959
♪ Baby, don't leave me
I just want you to know ♪
277
00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:39,211
♪ I want you to know ♪
278
00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:43,174
♪ There's something inside me
that I cannot control ♪
279
00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,134
♪ I cannot control ♪
280
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:48,012
Our boyfriends totally rock!
I know, right?
281
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:50,056
♪ I heard you screamin' my name
I'm goin' insane ♪
282
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,849
Well, the plan was...
283
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:54,852
to watch him for 10 minutes
and then run out to Pepper's party.
284
00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:57,688
♪ Coursing through my veins ♪
285
00:14:57,773 --> 00:15:00,775
But he was so great up there.
286
00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:02,443
How-How could I leave?
287
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:06,906
- ♪ Afraid
But don't be afraid ♪
- Whoo-hoo!
288
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,075
♪ I'll be your vampire ♪
289
00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:10,659
It was his moment.
290
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,953
- ♪ Come on ♪
- Wow!
291
00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:14,872
I know!
292
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:18,209
♪♪ [Drum Solo]
293
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:32,181
And his moment went on
for a really, really long time.
294
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,605
♪♪ [Continues]
295
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,944
[Drumstick Clatters]
296
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:53,452
Turns out I could have run
to the party and made it back
for the end of his moment.
297
00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:55,204
♪♪ [Ends]
298
00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:59,917
Manny, go brush your teeth
and get ready for bed, okay?
299
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:03,379
Your bed.
Can I watch TV?
300
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,965
Mmm, only 10 minutes.
Okay.
301
00:16:09,511 --> 00:16:11,428
We'll speak
no more of it now.
302
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:17,351
[Beeps]
Hey, Jay, it's Ben Dugan.
I got your message.
303
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:20,104
Uh, yes,
I'm happy to help out.
I'll swing by tonight.
304
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:23,482
What's that?
That's Ben. That's the guy
who was in the movie.
305
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:27,862
I figure when Manny sees him,
sees how nice he is,
he'll realize it's all pretend.
306
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,700
[No Doorbell]
307
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:35,578
[Gloria]
You think that will work?
[Jay] Guy's a sweetheart.
308
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:38,831
Manny's gonna
spend two minutes with him.
He'll explain how the movie's made.
309
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:42,877
He's even bringing
his fake machete.
Thing's made of rubber.
310
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,842
- You mean you wish to
train here as a novice?
- [Knocking]
311
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,970
Hey, are you Manny?
I'm here for you.
312
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,139
Look what I got.
313
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,017
[Screaming]
314
00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:00,352
Mom, he's here!
315
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:02,188
¿Qué pasó? ¿Qué pasó?
¿Qué pasó?
316
00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:04,064
[Manny Crying]
317
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:06,192
¡Ay!
318
00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:08,569
We're gonna need
a bigger bed!
319
00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:10,154
[Knocking]
320
00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:12,323
[Jay]
Oh, geez.
321
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,660
Oh, my God!
I think that's him.
322
00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:19,496
Hey. You stayed.
Yeah.
323
00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:21,498
Well, you know,
I'm-I'm with the band.
324
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:23,709
I thought the gig was
a little sloppy in spots,
325
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,961
but I think once
I learn all the songs-
326
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:29,840
I thought- I thought
this was a one-time thing?
327
00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:31,717
Are you kidding?
We destroyed in there.
328
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,719
Did you hear that one lady
screaming my name?
329
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:36,889
That was Phil.
He had a Red Bull.
330
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,558
Hey, guys. Good gig, huh?
331
00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:42,186
- Yeah. Totally awesome, man.
- Heck of a gig.
332
00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:45,940
Hey, guys.
Hey. I thought you
were in Portland.
333
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:48,651
No. My parents broke up again.
334
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:51,070
I'm not moving.
I can stay in the band.
335
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:55,157
[Chuckles]
Well, this is awkward.
336
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,911
Uh-
Cam.
337
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,998
Oh, awkward for me.
338
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:09,713
Good luck following that, Ringo.
339
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:14,760
I believe this belongs to you.
340
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:17,513
I don't want to drag
the house along with me.
[Chuckles]
341
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,306
Come here,
you little monkeys.
342
00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:20,891
Bye, Grandpa. We'II miss you.
343
00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:22,393
I wish I could
take you with me.
344
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,895
[Alex]
Drive safe, Grandpa.
Oh, I'll try.
345
00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:26,772
You sure you don't want to
stay for breakfast?
346
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:29,650
No, I ought to be
hitting the road.
347
00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:32,236
Well, adios.
348
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:33,862
Dad, hold on.
Hmm?
349
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:35,864
Can I talk to you
for a second?
Sure.
350
00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:38,617
[Whispers]
Guys. Come on.
351
00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:43,080
I don't think you're
being honest with me.
352
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:45,916
I- I know something
is going on with you.
353
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,877
What's up?
354
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:52,881
Something up?
Well, my boxers are, uh,
riding a little high.
355
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,301
I'm not in the mood
for jokes right now,
although you nailed that.
356
00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:56,844
Thanks.
Great stuff.
357
00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:58,929
Thanks.
358
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:04,018
It's nothing.
Oh, it's nothing?
359
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:06,937
Nothing to do with Mom?
No!
360
00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:12,985
Well, yeah.
I've fallen in love.
361
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,778
Oh, my God.
362
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:17,281
Who is she?
He!
363
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,158
What?
364
00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:21,994
It's that little guy
right over there.
365
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,912
Come on over here.
Come on.
366
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:27,041
Come on. There you go.
Ah, look at him.
367
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,001
Driving across country,
368
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:32,921
this little bastard
nuzzled his way right
into my heart, didn't ya?
369
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:36,842
So this is just about you
not wanting to leave the dog?
Well, you should tell Mom.
370
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,678
Those three days
on the road with him
were the happiest of my life.
371
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,722
You should leave that part out.
372
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,808
I don't want to keep Scout
if it makes Grandpa sad.
373
00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:49,605
Yeah, I know, sweetie.
But Grandma has allergies,
so Scout has to stay with us.
374
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:52,441
Well, she could always
just get some allergy shots.
375
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,526
Honey, you don't want to
put her through that.
376
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:57,404
Hell, back in the day,
I got a vasectomy for her.
377
00:19:57,489 --> 00:20:00,366
Dad. Dad. Please.
378
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,368
Scout's-
Scout's your dog.
379
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:04,453
He should go with you.
380
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:10,626
Okay, you twisted my arm.
[Chuckles]
381
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:14,713
Thanks, Son.
Thanks for poking
through the armor.
382
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:16,882
You're poking through
the armor down there.
What?
383
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,759
Made you look.
[Laughs]
384
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,511
You are a treasure.
385
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:22,679
Come on, Scout.
Let's mosey.
386
00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,473
Oh, oh, oh! Oh, wait.
387
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,395
He loves that, yeah.
Oh, I bet he does.
388
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:33,065
No, Scout.
This time I drive.
389
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:36,068
You still got it!
390
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,653
I can't believe
I'm saying this,
391
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,614
but I think I might have
actually gotten even closer
with my dad.
392
00:20:42,617 --> 00:20:45,327
I can't believe
he took my dog.
393
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,329
Bye-bye.
Bye, Grandpa! Love you!
394
00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:48,872
Bye, Dad.
395
00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:51,500
Bye, Grandpa!
I love you!
[Phil] Luke, stay!
396
00:20:51,626 --> 00:20:53,544
Luke, stay!
Come back soon!
I'll see you later!
397
00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:54,753
Luke, stay!
398
00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:56,463
Luke!
Stay!
399
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:01,677
♪♪ [Speakers: Rock]
Frank.
400
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,554
Hey, Jay.
Good to see you.
401
00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:06,223
Great to see you.
Didn't expect to find you here.
402
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:10,561
Well, listen, when
my granddaughter's boyfriend's
band plays an under-21 club...
403
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:13,981
with my daughter-in-law's
brother's gay partner,
I show up.
404
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:15,899
That's just how I was raised.
405
00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:18,777
I don't think
you met my wife, Gloria.
Hola.
406
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:22,156
Oh, it's a pleasure.
You are a lovely woman.
407
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,992
You must be Frank.
Okay, then,
408
00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:29,246
you are hotter than
a Las Vegas sidewalk
on the Fourth of July.
409
00:21:29,372 --> 00:21:31,498
Did I go too far?
Not you, Frank. No.
410
00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:37,337
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