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1
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,568
A gang fight.
2
00:00:11,636 --> 00:00:13,937
I just want him
to fit in.
3
00:00:14,005 --> 00:00:17,273
I'm gonna take a shower.
Do you care to join me?
4
00:00:17,341 --> 00:00:20,310
You know, honey, there's a gun
in the footlocker in the garage.
5
00:00:20,378 --> 00:00:22,078
If I ever say "no"
to that question,
6
00:00:22,146 --> 00:00:23,413
I want you to use it
on me.
7
00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:24,981
[ chuckles ]
8
00:00:25,049 --> 00:00:26,883
[ haley speaking
indistinctly ]
9
00:00:26,951 --> 00:00:28,118
[ footsteps approaching ]
10
00:00:28,185 --> 00:00:29,119
Shh, shh, shh!
11
00:00:29,186 --> 00:00:30,920
What's wrong?
12
00:00:30,988 --> 00:00:34,090
[ continues speaking
indistinctly ]
13
00:00:34,158 --> 00:00:36,159
Why aren't they trying
to hurt each other?
14
00:00:36,227 --> 00:00:39,029
I don't know,
but I'm afraid to move.
15
00:00:39,096 --> 00:00:41,197
[ laughing ]
you're really good at this.
16
00:00:41,265 --> 00:00:42,232
Thanks.
17
00:00:42,299 --> 00:00:45,201
What is happening,
claire?
18
00:00:45,269 --> 00:00:46,936
Cameron: Mmm.
Mitchell:
What do you think?
19
00:00:47,004 --> 00:00:48,605
Now, that is a scone.
20
00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:51,041
No butter, nonfat.
21
00:00:51,108 --> 00:00:52,308
Shut up.
22
00:00:52,376 --> 00:00:53,743
[ doorbell rings ]
23
00:00:53,811 --> 00:00:55,478
I'm gonna go check
on lily.
24
00:00:59,316 --> 00:01:01,084
Surprise!
25
00:01:01,152 --> 00:01:02,886
Mom!
[ laughs ]
26
00:01:02,953 --> 00:01:04,521
[ thud, bird squawks ]
27
00:01:04,588 --> 00:01:06,056
Gloria: What's that?
28
00:01:06,123 --> 00:01:09,159
Sounds like a bird
hit the window.
29
00:01:09,226 --> 00:01:11,494
Oh, god,
that's a bad sign.
30
00:01:11,562 --> 00:01:13,997
Ow!
That hurt, jerk!
31
00:01:14,065 --> 00:01:16,232
Ow!
I'm gonna kill you, stupid!
32
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,834
Ow!
[ clatter ]
33
00:01:17,902 --> 00:01:19,269
Wh happened?
34
00:01:19,336 --> 00:01:21,104
Now I'm sad.
Uhh!
35
00:01:21,172 --> 00:01:22,105
Hi, honey.
36
00:01:22,173 --> 00:01:23,640
Hi.
37
00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:24,941
I-I didn't know
you were in town.
38
00:01:25,009 --> 00:01:26,142
You didn't call.
39
00:01:26,210 --> 00:01:28,478
Well, I couldn't wait
to see your new baby.
40
00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:29,846
Where is she?
41
00:01:29,914 --> 00:01:30,947
Cameron:
Mitchell, who was that?
42
00:01:31,015 --> 00:01:32,048
Uh, it's my mom.
43
00:01:32,116 --> 00:01:33,216
Oh, yeah, right.
44
00:01:33,284 --> 00:01:34,584
'cause the last time
she was here,
45
00:01:34,652 --> 00:01:36,553
The refrigerator magnets
rearranged themselves
46
00:01:36,620 --> 00:01:37,387
Into a penta--
47
00:01:37,455 --> 00:01:39,889
Grandma!
48
00:01:39,957 --> 00:01:40,990
Hey.
49
00:01:50,134 --> 00:01:52,836
-- Sync by honeybunny --
www.addic7ed.com
50
00:01:55,339 --> 00:01:57,540
Mom...Mom, what are you doing
to her legs?
51
00:01:57,608 --> 00:01:59,943
Tai chi.
I did it every day in sedona.
52
00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:01,678
Cameron,
you should try it.
53
00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:03,713
[ chuckles ]
54
00:02:03,781 --> 00:02:08,351
Mitchell's mother
has a problem...With me.
55
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,053
Last christmas,
for example,
56
00:02:10,121 --> 00:02:12,522
She gave me
a piece of exercise equipment
57
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,023
And a lettuce dryer.
58
00:02:14,091 --> 00:02:15,391
So, to recap,
59
00:02:15,459 --> 00:02:17,393
I gave her a gorgeous pair
of diamond earrings,
60
00:02:17,461 --> 00:02:20,830
And she gave me a hint.
61
00:02:20,898 --> 00:02:24,434
Dede: And living in sedona
has been transformational.
62
00:02:24,502 --> 00:02:28,438
I get up every morning, and I
go to a vortex meditation site
63
00:02:28,506 --> 00:02:31,775
And work with a shaman
to finally understand
64
00:02:31,842 --> 00:02:33,877
How to live
my spirituality.
65
00:02:33,944 --> 00:02:35,345
Yikes.
66
00:02:35,412 --> 00:02:37,881
And I've learned
that the only way
67
00:02:37,948 --> 00:02:41,751
I can move to the next level
of my awakening
68
00:02:41,819 --> 00:02:46,689
Is if we all can somehow
get past...
69
00:02:46,757 --> 00:02:47,724
The incident.
70
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:49,459
Oh, no.
71
00:02:49,527 --> 00:02:51,427
The incident.
72
00:02:51,495 --> 00:02:53,296
Oh, boy.
73
00:02:53,364 --> 00:02:56,566
I would like to congratulate
jay and the lovely gloria.
74
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:59,068
I'm very happy for them.
75
00:02:59,136 --> 00:03:01,671
I wanted a big, beautiful
wedding with jay
76
00:03:01,739 --> 00:03:03,606
Because my ex-husband and I
got married
77
00:03:03,674 --> 00:03:06,976
In a tiny, little office
of a judge in colombia.
78
00:03:07,044 --> 00:03:08,778
Well, my mother
wanted to go to the wedding
79
00:03:08,846 --> 00:03:10,880
To show everyone how okay
she was with all of it,
80
00:03:10,948 --> 00:03:14,450
So I convinced dad and gloria
to invite her.
81
00:03:14,518 --> 00:03:18,054
Who warned you that
that was the worst idea ever?
82
00:03:18,122 --> 00:03:19,055
Anyone?
83
00:03:19,123 --> 00:03:20,256
Anyone?
84
00:03:20,324 --> 00:03:21,858
Oh. [ chuckles ]
85
00:03:21,926 --> 00:03:23,459
Of course,
I've -- I've moved on.
86
00:03:23,527 --> 00:03:24,727
[ chuckles ]
87
00:03:24,795 --> 00:03:26,095
I was supposed to come
with a date,
88
00:03:26,163 --> 00:03:28,131
But he just hurt his back,
89
00:03:28,199 --> 00:03:32,569
Which is very ironic because
he's young and -- and healthy.
90
00:03:32,636 --> 00:03:34,938
My mom started drinking
these cocktails
91
00:03:35,005 --> 00:03:37,140
Called "horny colombians"
92
00:03:37,208 --> 00:03:39,809
With some of
gloria's uncles,
93
00:03:39,877 --> 00:03:43,012
Whom, apparently,
the drink was named after.
94
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,480
Phil: Oh, come on,
they were funny.
95
00:03:44,548 --> 00:03:45,915
[ laughter ]
96
00:03:45,983 --> 00:03:47,884
They kept
patting my butt.
97
00:03:47,952 --> 00:03:50,854
[ chuckling ]
somebody's full of herself.
98
00:03:50,921 --> 00:03:54,591
It's a -- it's a colombian
wedding tradition, they said.
99
00:03:54,658 --> 00:03:55,758
[ glass clinking ]
100
00:03:55,826 --> 00:03:58,361
I would like to make a toast.
101
00:03:58,429 --> 00:04:00,597
Yeah,
nana got totally wasted.
102
00:04:00,664 --> 00:04:02,932
Uh, it was really funny.
103
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,835
Then it was gross.
104
00:04:05,903 --> 00:04:09,038
To the bride and the groom,
my ex.
105
00:04:09,106 --> 00:04:11,674
35 years we were together,
106
00:04:11,742 --> 00:04:15,747
And he couldn't wait 10 minutes
to run off with charo.
107
00:04:15,814 --> 00:04:17,081
I'm kidding.
[ chuckles ]
108
00:04:17,149 --> 00:04:18,383
[ rim shot ]
109
00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:22,253
Seriously, I knew
they were perfect for each other
110
00:04:22,321 --> 00:04:24,289
When I saw his wallet
and her boobs.
111
00:04:24,356 --> 00:04:26,057
[ laughs ]
112
00:04:26,125 --> 00:04:27,759
Take your hands off me.
113
00:04:27,826 --> 00:04:29,027
Mom.
Mom.
114
00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:31,262
Oh, relax, mitchell.
115
00:04:31,330 --> 00:04:33,164
What, did you take
your claire pill?
116
00:04:33,232 --> 00:04:35,400
Okay, l-let's just --
let's get a little
fresh air, okay? Come on.
117
00:04:35,467 --> 00:04:37,702
And then it got weird.
118
00:04:37,770 --> 00:04:39,637
[ hispanic accent ] I'm gloria.
I'm gloria. Kiss me.
119
00:04:39,705 --> 00:04:41,306
Oh, hey, kiss me.
120
00:04:41,373 --> 00:04:45,310
[ guests gasping, murmuring ]
121
00:04:45,377 --> 00:04:47,679
Nana is really strong.
122
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,347
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!
123
00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:51,883
Ooh!
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!
124
00:04:51,951 --> 00:04:55,086
During my vows
to my first husband,
125
00:04:55,154 --> 00:04:58,289
Drug dealers burst in
and assassinated the judge.
126
00:04:58,357 --> 00:04:59,490
This was way worse.
127
00:04:59,558 --> 00:05:01,259
What can I say?
I drive women crazy.
128
00:05:01,327 --> 00:05:03,294
[ laughs ]
129
00:05:03,362 --> 00:05:05,530
It's too soon,
I guess.
130
00:05:05,598 --> 00:05:08,600
Everybody is going to be there,
mom.
131
00:05:08,667 --> 00:05:09,834
Claire:
I don't care.
132
00:05:09,902 --> 00:05:11,869
Your father and I
are not about to let you
133
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,171
Drive two hours
to go to a concert
134
00:05:13,239 --> 00:05:15,173
And then spend the night
with a bunch of boys,
135
00:05:15,241 --> 00:05:17,742
Especially that 17-year-old
hormone you're dating.
136
00:05:17,810 --> 00:05:19,177
It's totally supervised.
137
00:05:19,245 --> 00:05:20,511
Oh, really?
By whom?
138
00:05:20,579 --> 00:05:22,146
By spencer patine's uncle.
139
00:05:22,214 --> 00:05:23,514
Who's spencer patine?
140
00:05:23,582 --> 00:05:25,116
You know spencer --
the guy with the arm.
141
00:05:25,184 --> 00:05:27,552
Wait. What kind of arm?
What does that even mean?
142
00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:28,820
His uncle
is uncle tobey.
143
00:05:28,887 --> 00:05:30,221
Oh, uncle tobey.
144
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,823
I'll be sure to include that
in my amber alert.
145
00:05:31,890 --> 00:05:33,091
Oh, my god.
146
00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:35,326
Okaycan I step in here?
I think I can help.
147
00:05:35,394 --> 00:05:36,794
Haley, what your mom
is worried about
148
00:05:36,862 --> 00:05:38,363
Is you getting
your heart broken
149
00:05:38,430 --> 00:05:40,798
When dylan goes off to college
next year.
150
00:05:40,866 --> 00:05:42,333
He's not going to college.
That's not
what I'm even think--
151
00:05:42,401 --> 00:05:43,835
He's not
going to college?
152
00:05:43,902 --> 00:05:46,004
He's in a band, okay?
They're going on tour.
153
00:05:46,071 --> 00:05:47,839
Oh, this just gets
better and better.
154
00:05:47,906 --> 00:05:50,375
Why are you always on me
about everything?!
155
00:05:50,442 --> 00:05:53,111
Because you need
to understand --
okay,
now, everybody, calm down.
156
00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:55,146
Let's start
from the beginning.
157
00:05:55,214 --> 00:05:56,981
What's wrong
with spencer's arm?
158
00:05:57,049 --> 00:05:58,283
Ugh!
159
00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:03,721
Mom, I'm home!
160
00:06:03,789 --> 00:06:04,889
Gloria: Hi, baby!
161
00:06:04,957 --> 00:06:07,392
Did you have fun
at the slumber party?
162
00:06:07,459 --> 00:06:09,861
You must be exhausted.
163
00:06:09,928 --> 00:06:11,229
No,
I'm not tired at all.
164
00:06:11,297 --> 00:06:13,865
I was the first one
to fall asleep.
165
00:06:13,932 --> 00:06:15,633
What's on your face?
166
00:06:15,701 --> 00:06:17,735
A smile from having such
a good time with my friends.
167
00:06:17,803 --> 00:06:19,671
No.
Come here.
168
00:06:23,108 --> 00:06:24,442
Look.
169
00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:25,810
Oh.
170
00:06:25,878 --> 00:06:27,645
That's why
they were laughing.
171
00:06:27,713 --> 00:06:30,948
I thought it was my funny take
on current events.
172
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,717
Why would they do something
like that?
173
00:06:32,785 --> 00:06:33,851
Don't worry about it.
174
00:06:33,919 --> 00:06:35,753
Guys pull pranks like that
all the time.
175
00:06:35,821 --> 00:06:37,388
You just got
to prank 'em back.
176
00:06:37,456 --> 00:06:39,757
Just got to show 'em
you're willing to give
as good as you get.
177
00:06:42,061 --> 00:06:43,728
What do you think?
178
00:06:43,796 --> 00:06:48,232
Hmm, revenge...
179
00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:49,534
I like it.
180
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:53,035
Well, mom, instead of scratching it
down a wall,
181
00:06:53,712 --> 00:06:55,880
Maybe we should just try
and repress it
182
00:06:55,948 --> 00:06:57,415
Like a --
like a normal family.
183
00:06:57,482 --> 00:06:59,717
I can't.
I need closure.
184
00:06:59,785 --> 00:07:02,887
I'm about to embark on
a new journey.
185
00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:04,789
I met a man.
Really?
186
00:07:04,856 --> 00:07:06,357
His name is chas,
187
00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:08,993
And he's asked me
to come live with him
188
00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:10,394
In his foreign land.
189
00:07:10,462 --> 00:07:11,562
Wow. Where?
190
00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:12,797
Canada.
191
00:07:12,864 --> 00:07:14,332
You're moving to --
to canada?
192
00:07:14,399 --> 00:07:15,866
French canada.
193
00:07:15,934 --> 00:07:16,901
[ plates clattering ]
oh.
194
00:07:16,969 --> 00:07:19,303
Oh, that --
that's wonderful.
195
00:07:19,371 --> 00:07:20,871
It is wonderful.
196
00:07:20,939 --> 00:07:22,840
It just that when I think of
all the awful things
197
00:07:22,908 --> 00:07:25,476
That I said
to gloria and jay
198
00:07:25,544 --> 00:07:27,611
And you and claire,
199
00:07:27,679 --> 00:07:29,213
I feel such guilt.
200
00:07:29,281 --> 00:07:31,315
Give it time...
And see banff.
201
00:07:31,383 --> 00:07:32,950
Cam, please.
202
00:07:33,018 --> 00:07:37,621
I just can't give myself to him
sexually.
203
00:07:37,689 --> 00:07:39,557
Okay, mom.
Did not see that coming.
204
00:07:39,624 --> 00:07:41,058
Oh, don't get me wrong.
205
00:07:41,126 --> 00:07:43,194
We satisfy each other
down there.
206
00:07:43,261 --> 00:07:44,628
Oh...
Yeah, don't want to...
207
00:07:44,696 --> 00:07:47,031
That's why I need
everyone's forgiveness.
208
00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:49,333
I need your help,
mitchell.
Cameron:
Did you hear that, mitchell?
209
00:07:49,401 --> 00:07:53,404
Your mom needs your help to
make love to her new man, chas.
210
00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:55,072
That's not weird at all.
211
00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:57,174
I -- [ chuckles ]
212
00:07:57,242 --> 00:07:59,310
I'm just not really sure what
you're asking me to do, mom.
213
00:07:59,378 --> 00:08:01,045
Well,
everyone's mad at me.
214
00:08:01,113 --> 00:08:02,713
Oh...
215
00:08:02,781 --> 00:08:05,683
Maybe you could pave the way
so that I can apologize.
216
00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:08,953
Well, um...You know,
we are actually
217
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:11,322
All supposed to have
Sunday dinner tonight,
218
00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:13,024
So maybe I could go around
and ask everyone
219
00:08:13,091 --> 00:08:14,458
If it's okay
foyou to join us.
220
00:08:14,526 --> 00:08:15,559
Oh!
221
00:08:15,627 --> 00:08:17,561
I knew
I could count on you.
222
00:08:17,629 --> 00:08:19,630
Oh, my beautiful boy.
223
00:08:19,698 --> 00:08:21,565
I love you so much.
224
00:08:21,633 --> 00:08:24,001
There's a fish in nature
that swims around
225
00:08:24,069 --> 00:08:26,070
With its babies in its mouth.
226
00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:28,239
That fish would look at
mitchell's relationship
227
00:08:28,306 --> 00:08:30,241
With his mother
and say, "that's messed up."
228
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,347
Hey.
229
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:38,315
Hey.
230
00:08:38,383 --> 00:08:40,651
Boy [clears throat]
231
00:08:40,719 --> 00:08:44,255
Things with your mom got pretty
intense down there, huh?
232
00:08:44,322 --> 00:08:46,590
All like
east coast/west coast.
233
00:08:46,658 --> 00:08:47,792
You feelin' me?
234
00:08:47,859 --> 00:08:49,960
Act like a parent,
talk like a peer.
235
00:08:50,028 --> 00:08:51,962
I call it "peerenting."
236
00:08:52,030 --> 00:08:54,298
I learned it from my own dad
who used to walk into my room
237
00:08:54,366 --> 00:08:56,600
And say, "what's up, sweathog?"
238
00:08:56,668 --> 00:08:57,568
[ chuckles ]
239
00:08:57,636 --> 00:08:59,370
Honey...
240
00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:01,372
I would love to let you go
to the concert.
241
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,908
Are you kidding me?
I think concerts are rad.
242
00:09:03,975 --> 00:09:06,477
Hello!
I was a hall-raiser.
A what?
243
00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:09,080
I followed hall & oates
around the country one summer.
244
00:09:09,147 --> 00:09:11,115
"rich girl"
just spoke to me.
245
00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:13,784
I was dating this girl.
Not -- not dating.
246
00:09:13,852 --> 00:09:16,487
I guess I was following her,
too, kind of.
247
00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:19,390
Okay, mom just doesn't trust me,
and it's not fair.
248
00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:20,758
She trusts you.
249
00:09:20,826 --> 00:09:22,793
It's just that weird stuff
happens at concerts.
250
00:09:22,861 --> 00:09:24,095
Boys get urges.
251
00:09:24,162 --> 00:09:25,196
Ew.
252
00:09:25,263 --> 00:09:27,098
Dad, is there something
you want?
253
00:09:27,165 --> 00:09:28,332
Yes, there is --
254
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,067
To connect with this girl
right here.
255
00:09:30,135 --> 00:09:31,669
Now, come on.
Pretend I'm not your dad.
256
00:09:31,736 --> 00:09:34,105
We're just a couple of friends
kickin' it in a juice bar.
257
00:09:34,172 --> 00:09:35,539
What's a juice bar?
258
00:09:35,607 --> 00:09:37,274
Okay, a malt shop,
whatever.
259
00:09:37,342 --> 00:09:38,843
Dad, I don't --
no.
Who's dad?
260
00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:40,244
Who's dad? I'm --
261
00:09:40,312 --> 00:09:42,046
I'm marcus from biology.
262
00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:43,514
Hey, haley.
263
00:09:43,582 --> 00:09:45,049
How's it going with you
and dylan?
264
00:09:45,117 --> 00:09:48,853
Has he tried anything
inappropriate with you...Girl?
265
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,354
[ cellphone rings ]
266
00:09:50,422 --> 00:09:51,355
Hey.
267
00:09:51,423 --> 00:09:52,890
No, nothing.
268
00:09:52,958 --> 00:09:56,660
Just talking to some dork I met
in a malt shop.
269
00:09:56,728 --> 00:09:58,762
[ doorbell rings ]
270
00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:00,431
Hey, mitchell.
What's up?
271
00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:02,399
Hey, just --
just in the hood.
272
00:10:02,467 --> 00:10:04,068
So, do you --
do you remember
273
00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:06,337
How mom gave up a career
to raise us?
274
00:10:06,404 --> 00:10:08,272
Promising career.
275
00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:09,673
Oh, god.
276
00:10:09,741 --> 00:10:10,841
Claire?
277
00:10:10,909 --> 00:10:12,409
Mom.
278
00:10:12,477 --> 00:10:14,645
Why so long?
279
00:10:14,713 --> 00:10:16,147
Mm, I know.
280
00:10:16,214 --> 00:10:18,115
I know, it's weird when
we haven't talked for a while.
281
00:10:18,183 --> 00:10:19,517
I mean your hair.
282
00:10:19,584 --> 00:10:20,918
Mm...
283
00:10:20,986 --> 00:10:22,920
Well, if I can't tell you,
who will?
284
00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:24,955
So, mom wants you to know
285
00:10:25,023 --> 00:10:27,892
That she's very sorry
about the incident
286
00:10:27,959 --> 00:10:30,628
And -- and she wants us
to forgive her.
287
00:10:30,695 --> 00:10:32,796
Oh, very nice of her
to say that through you.
288
00:10:32,864 --> 00:10:34,999
Do you see?
289
00:10:35,066 --> 00:10:37,268
The sarcasm
is so hurtful --
290
00:10:37,335 --> 00:10:39,170
Like a whip.
291
00:10:39,237 --> 00:10:41,872
Yoow how growing up, we l
have that voice inside our head
292
00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:44,975
That tells us
we're not good enough?
293
00:10:45,043 --> 00:10:48,078
Well, mine was outside my head,
driving me to school.
294
00:10:48,146 --> 00:10:50,147
So -- so, anyway,
mom really wants
295
00:10:50,215 --> 00:10:52,183
To smooth everything over
with dad and gloria,
296
00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:54,485
So I was thinking,
would it be okay
297
00:10:54,553 --> 00:10:57,121
If she maybe joined us
for dinner tonight?
298
00:10:57,189 --> 00:10:59,890
Because it may be the last time
you ever see me.
299
00:10:59,958 --> 00:11:01,625
Well...
Okay, wait.
300
00:11:01,693 --> 00:11:03,127
What are you
talking about?
301
00:11:03,195 --> 00:11:04,762
Well, I'm --
302
00:11:04,829 --> 00:11:09,066
I'm moving to a far
and dangerous place.
303
00:11:09,134 --> 00:11:12,803
Canada, but -- uh, she met
a man named chas. Yeah.
304
00:11:12,871 --> 00:11:14,138
He's a logger.
305
00:11:14,206 --> 00:11:16,840
Like a --
like a lumberjack?
306
00:11:16,908 --> 00:11:19,977
No, he logs blood samples
into a cholesterol study.
307
00:11:20,045 --> 00:11:23,614
Anyway, until I'm past
this whole wedding debacle,
308
00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:25,015
I can't be intimate
with him.
309
00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:26,116
Oh.
310
00:11:26,184 --> 00:11:27,618
We do things
to each other.
311
00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:28,819
We use our hands.
312
00:11:28,887 --> 00:11:30,187
Mm...
Oh, my lord.
313
00:11:30,255 --> 00:11:31,355
Haley: Hey, nana.
314
00:11:31,423 --> 00:11:33,591
Oh, my little comet.
Hey!
315
00:11:33,658 --> 00:11:36,227
Oh, look at you.
You're all grown up.
316
00:11:36,294 --> 00:11:37,995
Hmm, tell mom that.
317
00:11:38,063 --> 00:11:40,130
She won't even let me go
to a concert.
318
00:11:40,198 --> 00:11:42,099
Overnight
with her boyfriend.
319
00:11:42,167 --> 00:11:45,169
[ laughs ]
320
00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:46,770
What are you laughing at?
321
00:11:46,838 --> 00:11:51,108
Oh, karma's a funny thing,
that's all.
322
00:11:51,176 --> 00:11:52,543
Remember ricky?
323
00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:53,544
Oh, god.
324
00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:54,745
Oh, who's ricky?
325
00:11:54,813 --> 00:11:56,080
No one.
326
00:11:56,147 --> 00:11:58,249
Ricky was
your mother's boyfriend,
327
00:11:58,316 --> 00:12:00,451
And he looked
like charles manson.
328
00:12:00,518 --> 00:12:03,954
And one night, she didn't come
home until 4:00 in the morning.
329
00:12:04,022 --> 00:12:05,322
4:00? Wow.
330
00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:07,625
Wow, mom, what were you
and ricky doing?
331
00:12:07,692 --> 00:12:09,126
Nothing.
332
00:12:09,194 --> 00:12:11,328
We were doing nothing,
and he was a very sweet boy,
333
00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:13,797
Which you might have known if
you bothered to get to know him.
334
00:12:13,865 --> 00:12:15,299
Dylan's a sweet boy.
335
00:12:15,367 --> 00:12:16,700
[ scoffs ] dylan.
336
00:12:16,768 --> 00:12:20,237
Dylan is no ricky.
Ricky -- ricky was a poet.
337
00:12:20,305 --> 00:12:22,806
Dylan writes songs --
awesome songs.
338
00:12:22,874 --> 00:12:24,241
And maybe
you would know that
339
00:12:24,309 --> 00:12:25,943
If you
"bothered to get to know him."
340
00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:26,944
Ha!
341
00:12:27,012 --> 00:12:28,946
[ laughs ]
342
00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:32,149
Okay, you know, first of all,
I am not my mother.
343
00:12:32,217 --> 00:12:36,320
I don't judge people before
I get a chance to know them.
344
00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:39,523
So you invite dylan over
to dinner tonight,
345
00:12:39,591 --> 00:12:42,626
And if he's as sweet and as kind
as you say he is,
346
00:12:42,694 --> 00:12:45,095
Then I have no problem
347
00:12:45,163 --> 00:12:47,765
Considering letting you
go to the concert
348
00:12:47,832 --> 00:12:50,434
After I do a background check
on uncle tobey.
349
00:12:50,502 --> 00:12:52,169
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, mom.
350
00:12:52,237 --> 00:12:54,071
Okay,
I'm gonna go call him.
351
00:12:54,139 --> 00:12:55,272
Okay.
352
00:12:56,775 --> 00:12:58,442
That's very revealing.
353
00:12:58,510 --> 00:13:00,344
That's my parenting style.
354
00:13:00,412 --> 00:13:01,912
No, I meant your blouse.
355
00:13:01,980 --> 00:13:03,147
Mom.
356
00:13:03,214 --> 00:13:05,215
Claire, wait.
Come -- [ chuckles ]
357
00:13:05,283 --> 00:13:07,685
Not making this easy.
358
00:13:07,752 --> 00:13:09,520
Claire, come on.
Stop, stop, stop.
359
00:13:09,587 --> 00:13:11,588
Just let her
come to dinner,
360
00:13:11,656 --> 00:13:13,157
Apologize
to dad and gloria,
361
00:13:13,224 --> 00:13:15,893
And she and chas
can live happily ever after.
362
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,461
In canada.
In canada.
363
00:13:17,529 --> 00:13:18,662
[ sighs ]
364
00:13:18,730 --> 00:13:20,397
Wait, why don't you make her
fix this
365
00:13:20,465 --> 00:13:22,433
Instead of you doing it,
as usual?
366
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:23,801
Whoa.
What's that supposed to mean?
367
00:13:23,868 --> 00:13:24,935
Oh, you know,
mom makes a mess,
368
00:13:25,003 --> 00:13:26,036
And there's mitchell
to clean it up.
369
00:13:26,104 --> 00:13:28,238
Okay, that is so not true.
370
00:13:28,306 --> 00:13:30,074
If -- if anything,
you're the one
371
00:13:30,141 --> 00:13:31,875
With the screwed-up relationship
with mommy --
372
00:13:31,943 --> 00:13:33,444
With -- with -- with mom.
Wow, "mommy"?
373
00:13:33,511 --> 00:13:34,912
No, I didn't say it --
damn it.
374
00:13:34,979 --> 00:13:36,046
Ooh.
375
00:13:36,114 --> 00:13:37,548
Fine.
376
00:13:37,615 --> 00:13:39,483
Fine, she can come, but she's
got to clear it with daddy.
377
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:40,884
"Daddy"?
I did not say "daddy."
378
00:13:40,952 --> 00:13:42,335
You said "daddy."
379
00:13:44,656 --> 00:13:45,690
Hey, dad.
380
00:13:45,757 --> 00:13:47,291
Mitchell,
what are you doing here?
381
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:48,626
Uh, I'm sorry to bother you.
382
00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:50,127
Uh, could I talk to
you and gloria for a second?
383
00:13:50,195 --> 00:13:52,463
Oh, she's out dealing
with a manny situation.
384
00:13:52,531 --> 00:13:54,432
He set a kid's bike
on fire.
385
00:13:54,499 --> 00:13:55,933
Why?
386
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:57,902
Oh, I might have told him
to get even with some kids,
387
00:13:57,970 --> 00:13:59,937
And he went all rambo
with it.
388
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:03,174
Not my best parenting
moment.
389
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:04,542
[ chuckles ]
not your worst.
390
00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:05,877
What's up?
391
00:14:05,944 --> 00:14:08,212
Uh, well, you know,
mom's in town.
392
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,580
Your mom?
393
00:14:09,648 --> 00:14:10,948
No. No, your mom.
She's back from the grave.
394
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,350
Yes.
Yes, my mom,.
395
00:14:12,417 --> 00:14:14,085
My mom
would be less scary.
396
00:14:14,152 --> 00:14:16,454
Listen, she's a wreck about
what happened at the wedding,
397
00:14:16,521 --> 00:14:18,122
And she wants to come
to dinner tonight
398
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,490
To apologize to everyone.
399
00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:21,559
Still her little errand boy,
I see.
400
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,961
No. Why does everybody
keep say-- no.
401
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:27,899
I -- I'm just trying to piece
this family back together.
402
00:14:27,966 --> 00:14:30,534
So you'll talk to gloria
about mom coming to dinner?
403
00:14:30,602 --> 00:14:32,403
Oh, gloria would never go
for that in a million years.
404
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:33,738
She's still furious
with your mother,
405
00:14:33,805 --> 00:14:35,840
Which is why
I'm not talking to you.
406
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:37,041
What did I do?
407
00:14:37,109 --> 00:14:38,776
This conversation
never took place.
408
00:14:38,844 --> 00:14:40,278
Well, that's not very nice.
I drove all the way here.
409
00:14:40,345 --> 00:14:41,445
No, you didn't.
You were never here.
410
00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:42,980
In fact,
you never even called.
411
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:44,782
I would have called,
but I thought it would be better
412
00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:46,417
To talk about th--
what -- what's happening here?
413
00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:48,686
Listen...
414
00:14:48,754 --> 00:14:51,322
I would love to get
this thing behind us,
415
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,324
But gloria
would never forgive me
416
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:54,859
If I pulled a fast one
on her.
417
00:14:54,927 --> 00:14:57,728
That's why you're going to pull
a fast one on her,
418
00:14:57,796 --> 00:14:59,997
And I'm not going to like it
one bit.
419
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:01,198
Okay, that's just great.
420
00:15:01,266 --> 00:15:02,633
No, that's great.
So it's all up to me.
421
00:15:02,701 --> 00:15:04,302
I can't hear you
because you're back home
422
00:15:04,369 --> 00:15:05,636
And I'm taking a nap.
423
00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:07,838
[ sighs ]
424
00:15:07,906 --> 00:15:09,774
[ doorbell rings ]
425
00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:13,978
D-money. There he is.
Hey.
426
00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:15,179
Come on in.
427
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:16,480
Hi.
Hey, how you doing?
428
00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:17,515
Good.
429
00:15:17,582 --> 00:15:18,783
Um...
430
00:15:18,850 --> 00:15:20,952
Uh, hey, everybody,
this is dylan.
431
00:15:21,019 --> 00:15:22,053
Hey.
432
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,188
Hey.
Hi.
433
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:27,258
He has
a very gentle soul.
434
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:29,226
You got that from "hey"?
435
00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:31,462
So, dylan,
I see you brought the ax.
436
00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:33,297
Yeah, yeah,
I just came from practice.
437
00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:35,333
Sweet.
Miss those days.
438
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:36,701
Oh, you were in a band?
439
00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:38,336
Could have been,
but in high school,
440
00:15:38,403 --> 00:15:39,937
I was really
all about my magic, so...
441
00:15:40,005 --> 00:15:41,372
Oh, my god.
442
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:42,873
[ doorbell rings ]
443
00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:44,408
Oh, that's gonna be
dad and gloria.
444
00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:47,912
Oh, mitchell,
I know it's silly, but...
445
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:49,313
I'm a little nervous.
446
00:15:49,381 --> 00:15:51,816
Oh, no. That's not silly.
You should be.
447
00:15:51,883 --> 00:15:52,817
[ door opens ]
448
00:15:52,884 --> 00:15:53,985
Hey.
449
00:15:54,052 --> 00:15:55,286
How are you?
450
00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:57,088
Manny.
Phil.
451
00:15:57,155 --> 00:15:58,656
Nice mustache.
Thank you.
452
00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:00,758
Don't make fun.
He may burn your house down.
453
00:16:03,795 --> 00:16:04,895
Oh, boy.
454
00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:05,863
Dede.
455
00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:07,798
Hi, jay. Gloria.
456
00:16:07,866 --> 00:16:09,600
What is she doing here?
457
00:16:09,668 --> 00:16:11,869
What does she mean,
"what is she doing here?"
458
00:16:11,937 --> 00:16:14,005
Mitchell told you
I'd be here.
Lies!
459
00:16:14,072 --> 00:16:16,140
I couldn't tell her
because she wouldn't come.
460
00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:19,076
Gloria, my mom wants
to apologize for everything.
461
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:20,911
So you just spring it
on gloria like this?
462
00:16:20,979 --> 00:16:22,646
Mitchell, what the hell
is wrong with you?
463
00:16:22,714 --> 00:16:23,781
I don't want
her apologies.
464
00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:25,549
And who could blame you,
honey?
465
00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:27,418
Which is why this is
a terrible idea by you!
466
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,553
Jay, manny, let's go.
467
00:16:29,621 --> 00:16:31,789
Oh, wait, wait, gloria.
468
00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:34,458
I d--
I just want to tell you
469
00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:36,927
How sorry I am
for ruining your wedding.
470
00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:40,931
I was struggling
with being alone.
471
00:16:40,999 --> 00:16:43,968
Meanwhile, jay moves on
so easily.
472
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:45,970
And -- and not with
just anyone --
473
00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:49,607
With a...
474
00:16:49,674 --> 00:16:52,777
Young and smart
and beautiful woman.
475
00:16:52,844 --> 00:16:55,146
I don't expect
to forgive me.
476
00:16:55,213 --> 00:16:56,680
If I were you,
477
00:16:56,748 --> 00:16:59,517
I'd want to punch me
right in the mouth.
478
00:17:06,958 --> 00:17:09,627
I think we've had
enough revenge
479
00:17:09,694 --> 00:17:11,495
In this family
for one day.
480
00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:13,798
Oh, okay. Y-y-you see?
481
00:17:13,865 --> 00:17:15,699
Yeah, we're all gonna
move past this.
482
00:17:15,767 --> 00:17:18,102
And because of me, who --
who's not a mama's boy,
483
00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:21,338
But is a caring person with
wisdom and emotional insight,
484
00:17:21,406 --> 00:17:22,873
So make a note, bitches.
485
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:24,575
That's not a good color
on you.
486
00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:26,610
[ sighs ]
I forgive you.
487
00:17:28,647 --> 00:17:31,415
Oh. Wow.
488
00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:33,717
I am not prepared
for this.
489
00:17:33,785 --> 00:17:36,253
I just -- I wa--
490
00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:38,289
I want
to rip your head off!
491
00:17:38,356 --> 00:17:41,358
[ indistinct shouting ]
492
00:17:41,426 --> 00:17:44,295
You ruined my wedding!
493
00:17:44,362 --> 00:17:45,963
I got gloria!
494
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:47,498
I got gloria!
495
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:51,302
[ indistinct shouting
continues ]
496
00:17:51,369 --> 00:17:52,670
I got gloria.
497
00:17:52,737 --> 00:17:54,905
Stand up like a big girl.
Come on.
498
00:17:54,973 --> 00:17:56,207
Jay: All right, all right,
all right.
499
00:17:56,274 --> 00:17:58,609
Stop it, stop it, stop it,
the two of you!
500
00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:00,644
I am so sorry
about this.
501
00:18:00,712 --> 00:18:02,012
No, it's cool.
It's cool.
502
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,314
This is ridiculous.
503
00:18:03,381 --> 00:18:06,817
Gloria didn't steal me, dede,
and you know it.
504
00:18:06,885 --> 00:18:09,019
We grew apart for years.
505
00:18:09,087 --> 00:18:11,021
And you left to find yourself,
remember?
506
00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:13,390
I thought
I could handle this.
507
00:18:13,458 --> 00:18:14,859
I'm so sorry.
508
00:18:14,926 --> 00:18:16,127
You don't say "sorry"
anymore!
509
00:18:16,194 --> 00:18:17,828
That word means nothing
in your mouth!
510
00:18:17,896 --> 00:18:20,564
I got gloria.
511
00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:22,233
I don't know
what just happened.
512
00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:23,667
Dylan: I do.
513
00:18:25,804 --> 00:18:29,206
I mean,
it seems pretty simple to me.
514
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:32,143
You're reaching out, trying
to hold on to something awesome.
515
00:18:32,210 --> 00:18:34,311
Um, maybe --
maybe you shouldn't --
516
00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:36,447
Look, look, look,
I'm noused to this,
517
00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:38,549
The whole big-family thing.
518
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:41,418
In my house, we don't even talk
to each other.
519
00:18:41,486 --> 00:18:43,087
You know, it's funny.
520
00:18:43,155 --> 00:18:46,023
The first time I saw haley,
I knew I liked her.
521
00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:47,892
I mean, she's beautiful
and everything,
522
00:18:47,959 --> 00:18:49,527
But it's --
it's not just that.
523
00:18:49,594 --> 00:18:53,297
It's that she's got
this killer confidence --
524
00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:55,499
You know,
the kind of confidence
525
00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:58,068
That you get
from having a family like this,
526
00:18:58,136 --> 00:19:03,474
That's passionate
and accepting of hot foreigners
527
00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:07,578
And gay dudes
and nutty people --
528
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:13,217
You know, a family
that actually loves each other.
529
00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:15,286
I can't believe
I'm gonna say this,
530
00:19:15,353 --> 00:19:18,222
But maybe we should let her
go with him.
531
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:21,125
He's perfect.
532
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:25,596
Everybody, haley says
that dylan is a musician,
533
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:28,432
And he writes
some great songs.
534
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,900
Play something, bro.
535
00:19:29,901 --> 00:19:32,403
Well, I guess so,
if you want me to.
536
00:19:32,470 --> 00:19:34,405
We could all use a nice tune
right now.
537
00:19:34,472 --> 00:19:37,875
This is actually a song
I wrote for haley.
538
00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:39,743
It's called
"in the moonlight."
539
00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:40,744
Lovely title, dylan.
540
00:19:40,812 --> 00:19:41,946
Thanks.
541
00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:49,386
* the stars are falling
from the sky *
542
00:19:49,454 --> 00:19:54,225
* and you're the reason why *
543
00:19:57,128 --> 00:20:00,497
* the moon is shining
on your face *
544
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:07,805
* 'cause it finally feels
it's found its place *
545
00:20:07,872 --> 00:20:12,476
* 'cause, baby, baby,
I just want to do you *
546
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:13,844
* do you *
547
00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:15,980
* do you want to do me *
548
00:20:16,047 --> 00:20:17,081
* do me *
549
00:20:17,148 --> 00:20:18,849
* underneath the moonlight *
550
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:20,517
* the moonlight? *
551
00:20:20,585 --> 00:20:24,421
* baby, baby,
maybe I will steal you *
552
00:20:24,489 --> 00:20:25,990
* steal you *
553
00:20:26,057 --> 00:20:27,858
* just so I can feel you *
554
00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:29,126
* feel you *
555
00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:30,761
* maybe that would heal you *
556
00:20:30,829 --> 00:20:34,265
* heal you on the inside *
557
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:37,167
She's so not going.
558
00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:39,770
Not a chance in hell.
559
00:20:44,642 --> 00:20:48,312
* the moon is shining
* they doon your face *nd *
560
00:20:48,379 --> 00:20:52,015
* and it finally feels it's *
561
00:20:52,083 --> 00:20:55,219
* found its place 'cause *
562
00:20:55,286 --> 00:20:59,490
* baby, baby,
I just want to do you *
563
00:20:59,557 --> 00:21:00,557
* do you *
564
00:21:00,625 --> 00:21:02,459
* baby, you can do me *
565
00:21:02,527 --> 00:21:03,694
* do me *
566
00:21:03,761 --> 00:21:05,629
* man, I will do you *
567
00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:06,897
* do you *
568
00:21:06,965 --> 00:21:08,765
* maybe it would heal you *
569
00:21:08,833 --> 00:21:09,867
* heal you *
570
00:21:09,934 --> 00:21:12,135
Both:
* from the inside *
571
00:21:12,203 --> 00:21:13,370
* from the inside *
572
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,005
* from the inside *
573
00:21:15,073 --> 00:21:16,173
* from the inside *
574
00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:18,174
Sync by honeybunny & bardwill
www.addic7ed.com
575
00:21:18,309 --> 00:21:20,310
Never good at harmonizing.
* side * that was good.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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