Original subtitles

♪ ♪

START THE CLOCK.

♪ ♪

Bill: THANK YOU, GREAT TO

BE HERE, GREAT TO BE BACK.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU, I APPRECIATE IT SO

MUCH.

WE WANT TO GET TO THIS SHIT,

DON'T WE?

A LOT TO CATCH UP ON IN THE NEWS

THIS WEEK, WOW.

THINGS ARE STRANGE AT THE

REMEMBER THAT COCAINE THAT BIDEN

LEFT THEY ARE?

[APPLAUSE] ND

OUR LIFE NOW IS DOMINATED BYRIF.

THEY ARE ON, THEY ARE OFF--

EVERYBODY, THIS WEEK--

, EVERYBODYGETS THEM.

PENGUINS?

YOU'RE GOING TO PAY TARIFFS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

HE PUT TARIFFS ON EVERY COUNTRY

IN THE WORLD AND OF COURSE THE

STOCK MARKET PLUNGED IN THE NEXT

DAY HE WAS LIKE I DIDN'T SAY

SIMON SAYS.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

THAN THE STOCK MARKET ROSE, IT'S

FUN, FUN STUFF

WHAT'S REALLY FUN FOR ME IS

WATCHINGRUMP CULTISTS BE SO

EXCITED ABOUT THE TARIFFS, THEY

ARE THE GREATEST THING IN THE

WORLD AND THEN HAVE TO TAKE BACK

WHAT THEY SAID ABOUT THAT WHEN

HE TAKES BACK THE TARIFF.

THANK YOU, BEST PRESIDENT EVER

FOR ORDERING THE TARIFF AND

RESTORING AMERICA-- HE DID WHA

THESE TARIFFS HAVE GOT TO GO,

I'VE ALWAYS SAID THAT--

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THE WHITE HOUSE SAYS 75

COUNTRIES HAVE ALREADY CALLED UP

BEGGING US TO MAKE A DEAL ON THE

TARIFFS AND SOMEBODY ASKED ONE

OF THE COUNTRIES?

THEY SAID IT CAN'T TELL YOU.

[LAU

ARE TOTALLY REA OKAY?EY ARE ON

GIRLFRIEND HAS, SHE GOES TO A

DIFFERENT SCHOOL.

IN CANADA.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

THE TARIFFS GOT TAKEN BACK

EXCEPT FOR 10% ON EVERYBODY BUT

CHINA IS UP TO 145 WE ARE IN A

TRADE WAR WITH CHINA AND THIS IS

WORRISOME TO ME BECAUSE CHINA IS

KIND OF POWERFUL.

THEY SAID TODAY IF WE CONTINUE

DOING THIS THEY ARE GOING TO

TAKE OTHER-- OTHER-- COU

MOTHERS IF WE KEEP INFRINGING ON

THEIR INTERESTS SUBSLLY.

DON'T KNOWOSRUNTERMEASURES AREO

LEAK OUT OF A LAB WORKOUT

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]

OR LEAVE JEWS WITH NOWHERE TO

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S NOT ALL BAD NEWS, WE ARE

BRINGING BACK COAL!

TRUMP SIGNED AN EXECUTIVE ORDER,

WE ARE BRINGING BACK COAL-- NOT

FOR ENERGY, JUST FOR BLACKFACE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THERE IS REASON FOR HOPE I SWEAR

TO GOD BECAUSE THE

SUPREME COURT, OUR SUPREME COURT

RULED UNANIMOUSLY IF TRUMP

ADMINISTRATION MISTAKENLY DEPORT

SOMEONE TO EL SALVADOR, WHICH

THEY DID, SOMEONE WHO WAS NOT A

GANG MEMBER WHO WAS HERE

ILLEGALLY,UPREME COURTID YOU GO!

CAN'E A GUYACK FROMN SAID W

SPACE T EL SALVADOR

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

WE GOT TO GET THIS GUY BACK, WE

GOT TO DO IT.

THE QUESTION BECOMES WHO WAS

GOING TO GO DOWN THERE AND SORT

THROUGH ALL THESE SWEATY LATIN

MEN WEARING NOTHING BUT T-SHIRTS

AND BOXERS AND LINDSEY GRAHAM

SAID ANYTHING FOR MY COUNTRY.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU, YOU SOUND LIKE A

GREAT CROWD.

FOR I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE YOU MY

BOOK REP ON MY VISIT TO THE

E HOUSE.

♪ ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

OKAY, AS YOU KNOW 12 DAYS AGO I

HAD DINNER WITH PRESIDENT TRUMP,

SET UP BY MY FRIEND KID ROCK

BECAUSE WE SHARE A BELIEF

THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING

BETTER THAN HURLING INSULTS FROM

3,000 MILES AWAY.

LET ME FIRST SAY TO ALL THE

PEOPLE WHO TREATED THIS LIKE IT

WAS SOME KIND OF SUMMIT MEETING,

YOU RIDICULOUS.

[LAUGHTER]

LIKE I WAS GOING TO SIGN A

TREATY OR SOMETHING?

I HAVE NO POWER, I'M A FUCKING

COMEDIENNE AND HE'S THE MOST

POWERFUL LEA THEORLD.

I'M NOT THE LEADERF ANYTHING

CEPT MBE A CONT OF

CENTRIST MINDED PEOPLE WHO THINK

THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY

OF RUNNING THIS COUNTRY THAN

HATING EACH OTHER EVERY MINUTE.

[APPLAUSE]

MEET UP IN PERSON, MAYBE IT WILL

BE DIFFERENT-- SPOILER ALERT,

IT WAS.

THE FIRST GOOD SIGN BEFORE I

LEFT FOR THE CAPITAL I HAVE MY

STAFF COLLECT AND PRINT OUT THIS

LIST OF ALMOST 60 DIFFERENT

INSULTING EPITHETS THE PRESIDENT

HAS SAID ABOUT ME.

THINGS LIKE STUPID, DUMMY, SICK,

SAD, STONE COLD CRAZY.

HIS SHOW IS DEA

I THIS TO T

WHITE HOUSE BEI WANTED HIM

TO SIGN IT WHICH HE DID.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WITH GOOD HUMOR AND I KNOW AS I

SAY THAT, MILLIONS OF LIBERALS

SPHINCTERS JUST TIGHTENED.

"OH, MY GOD ARE YOU GOING TO SAY

SOMETHING NICE ABOUT HIM?"

WHAT I'M GOING TO DO IS REPORT

EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS.

YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT

IT AND IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH

FEWER TRUMP HATE FOR YOU I DON'T

GIVE A FUCK.

SO NO, I DIDN'T GO MAGA.

TO THE PRESIDENT'S CREDIT, THERE

WAS NO PRESSURE TO.

AFTER WE LEFT THE OVAL OFFICE,

HE SHOWED ME THE ROOM OFF THE

OFFICE, THE ONE WHERE CLINTON

USE TO--AUGHTER]

OKAY C BLOW ROOM.

KEEP THE MERCH NOW. WHERE THEY

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT IS!

AND HE GAVE ME A BUNCH OF HATS

BUT HE DIDN'T ASK ME TO TAKE A

PICTURE IN ONE WHICH I

APPRECIATED.

THE GUY I'VE MET IS NOT THE

PERSON WHO THE NIGHT BEFORE THE

DINNER SHIT TWEETED ABOUT SOME

NASTY CRAP ABOUT HOW HE THOUGHT

THE DINNER WAS A BAD IDEA, WHAT

A DERANGED ASSHOLE I WAS.

I READ IT AND THOUGHT WHAT A

LOVELY WAY TO WELCOME SOMEONE TO

YOUR HOUSE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

BUT WHEN I GOT THEHAT GUY

WASN'T LIVING THERE.ES TRUMP WA?

OF COURSE, WHO DOESN'T.

I SAID I'M NOT GOING TO DRESS

LIKE ZELENSKYY, I WILL TELL YOU

THAT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

JUST FOR STARTERS, HE LAUGHS.

I HAD NEVER SEEN HIM LAUGH IN

PUBLIC BUT HE DOES.

INCLUDING AT HIMSELF.

IT'S NOT FAKE.

AS A COMEDIAN OF 40 YEARS I KNOW

A FAKE LAUGH WHEN I HEAR IT.

AND I THANK YOU FOR THEM.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

EXAMPLE-- IN THE OVACE H

WAWING ME THE PORTRAITS OF

REAGAN THEN SAID IN ALL

SERIOUSNESS, THE BEST THG

ABOUT HIM, HIS HAIR.

[LAUGHTER]

I SAID "THERE WAS ALSO THAT

WHOLE BRINGING DOWN COMMUNISM

THING."

WAITING FOR THE BUTTON NEXT TO

THE DIET COKE BUTTON TO GET

PUSHED AND I GO THROUGH THE

TRAPDOOR.

BUT NO, HE LAUGHED, HE GOT IT.

I SAID TO HIM AT ONE POINT

MR. PRESIDENT, YOU DON'T HAVE A

DOG-- THAT'S UNUSUAL IN THE

WHITE HOUSE.

HHE SAID "A LOT OF PRESIDENTS HD

A DOG FOR POLITICAL REASONS."

I SAID "NO, PEOPLE OF DOGS,

THAT'S WHAT THAT IS."

"OH, YEAH, OKAY, THAT'S TRUE."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'M TELLING YOU WHAT HAPPENS.

AT ONE POINT WE WERE WALKING

THROUGH HIS AMAZING-- IT IS

AMAZING-- TOUR OF THE WHOLE

HOUSE AND I DON'T REMEMBER

EXACTLY WHAT WE WERE TALKING

T BUT IT MUST'VE BEEN

ING WITH 2020 ELECTIONCAUSE KNOD

AND I DISTINC THOUGHT I

NEVER THOUGHT I'D HEAR YOU SAY

THAT'S.

HE DIDN'T GET MAD HE'S MUCH MORE

SELF-AWARE THAN HE LETS ON IN

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO HE IS AT A

PRIVATE DINNER WITH A COMEDIAN,

IT MATTERS WHO HE IS ON THE

WORLD STAGE.

I'M JUST TAKING IT AS A POSITIVE

THAT THIS PERSON EXISTS BECAUSE

EVERYTHING I'VE EVER NOT LIKED

ABOUT HIM WAS I SWEAR TO GOD

ABSENT AT LEAST ON THIS NIGHT

WITH THIS GUY.

BOB, KID ROCK, TOLD ME THE NIGHT

BEFORE YOU WANT TO GET A WORD IN

EDGEWISE YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO

CUT THE.

O MANY CONVERSATIONS WITPROMINEH

CONNECTED, PEHO D

LOOK IN EYES.

PEOPHO DON'T REALLY LISTEN

BECAUSE THEY JUST WANT TO GET TO

THEIR NEXT THING.

PEOPLE WHOSE RESPONSE THE THINGS

YOU SAY JUST DOESN'T TRACK.

NONE OF THAT WITH HIM.

HE MOSTLY STEERED THE

CONVERSATION TO WHAT DO YOU

THINK ABOUT THIS?

I KNOW, YOUR MIND IS BLOWN, SO

IS MINE.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

THERE WERE SO MANY MOMENTS WHEN

I HIT HIM WITH A JOKE OR

CONTRADICTED SOMETHING AND NO

PROBLEM.

AT DINNER, HE WAS ASKINGEABOUT N

IRAN AND A VERY GENUI, I THINK

YO A GUY, I W

OPINION SORT OF WAY AND I SAIDVO

THINGS ABOUT I NOT BUT FOR

WHAT IT'SORTH I THOUGHT THE

OBAMA DEAL WAS WORTH LETTING

PLAY OUT BECAUSE WE MADE IRAN IT

DESTROYED 98% OF THE URANIUM AND

THEY WERE 15 YEARS AWAY FROM A

THEN I SAID TO HIM BUT WE GOT

RID OF THAT, YOU GOT RID OF THA

HE DIDN'T GET MAD OR CALLED ME A

LEFT-WING LUNATIC, HE TOOK IT

IN.

I TOLD HIM I THOUGHT PARTS OF

HIS PLAN FOR GAZA WERE WACKY BUT

I HAD SUPPORTED HIM IN THE IDEA

THAT GAZA COULD BE DUBAI INSTEAD

I TOLD HIM HE WAS WRONG WHAT HE

TWEETED THE NIGHT BEFORE I WASI-

NOT THR TRUE, CHECK THE T

VING ISRAEL'S EMBASSY TO

I'M GLAD THE COPS ARE GETTING

MORALE BACK.

DEI HAD GONE TOO FAR.

BIOLOGICAL MENTION TO BE PLAYING

WOMEN'S SPORTS.

EUROPE SHOULD PAY FOR THEIR

IT MAKES SENSE THAT ARAB

COUNTRIES SHOULD TAKE AN ARAB

REFUGEES LIKE THE MILLION

SYRIANS WHO WOUND UP IN GERMANY

WHEN SAUDI ARABIA TOOK NONE.

HE SAID TO ME "YOU'RE RIGHT,

THEY TOOK DON."

NONE."

I SAID YOU SHOULD REMIND YOUR

BOYFRIEND IN SAUDI ARABIA OF

THAT NEXT TIME YOU SEE HIM.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

HE LAUGHED.

I NEVER FELT I HAD TO WALK ON

EGGSHELLS AROUND HIM AND

HONESTLY I VOTED FOR CLINTON AND

OBAMA BUT I WOULD NEVER FEEL

COMFORTABLE TALKING TO THEM THE

WAY I WAS ABLE TO TALK WITH

DONALD TRUMP.

THAT'S JUST HOW IT WENT DOWN,

MAKE OF ITHAT YOU WILL. FEEL ITY

THE DEM ARE SO UNPOPULAR

THES

HE WAS EVEN AY WHEN I CHECKED

THEM ON THE ORANGUTAN.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

LAWSUIT.

HE WAS, HE SAID TO DANA WHITE--

BILL SAID MY FATHER WAS AN

ORANGUTAN AND I REALLY LOVED MY

FATHER.

I SAID THAT MR. PRESIDENT, I DID

THAT BECAUSE I DIDN'T LIKE WHAT

YOU WERE DOING REGARDING OBAMA'S

BIRTH ORIGINS, I THOUGHT THAT

WAS LOW.

NO ANGER, JUST A LITTLE SMILE AS

IF TO SAY YEAH, I GET IT.

OST SURREALART OF THE

WHOLE WAS WHEN I GOT HOME.

I FLEW B AFTINNER ANDI'M IN BEDS

FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE AND THERE

TRUMP IN ONE OF T STORIES

STANDING IN A PODIUM IN A ROOM

THAT LOOKED TO ME LIKE ONE OF

THE ROOMS IN THE PLACES WE HAD

JUST BEEN IN AND HE'S RANTING

"DISGUSTING, YOU'RE A TERRIBLE

PERSON" AND I'M LIKE WHO WAS

THAT GUY?

WHAT HAPPEN TO A THE GOOD WITCH?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WHY CAN'T WE GET THAT GUY I

MEANT TO BE THE PUBLIC DIE?

I'M NOT SAYING IT'S OUR

RESPONSIBILITY TO DO THAT, IT'S

I'M JUST REPORTING EXACTLYHAT

OVER TWO AND HALFOURS.

I WTO THE MIND ANDT'S

WHAT'S DN THERE.ZY PERSON DOE'TN

THE WHITE H

A PERSON WHO PLAYS CRAZY

PERSON ON TV A LOT LIVES THERE

H I KNOW IS FUCKED UP, IT'S

JUST NOT AS FUCKED UP AS I

THOUGHT IT WAS AND I HAVE NO

ILLUSIONS NOW THAT I'M BACK TO

WORK AT MY JOB THAT HE MIGHT

START A NEW LIST--

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A GOOD

FEELING AND WILL BE CRITICAL

ABOUT A LOT OF WHAT HE'S DOING.

THE TRADE WAR AND DISAPPEARING

PEOPLE, RULING BY DECREE,

THREATENING JUDGES, GUTTING THE

GOVERNMENT WITH GLEE.

BUT I ALSO THINK HE NOW

UNDERSTANDS I HAVE A JOB TO DO

OR AT HE DID ON THIS NIGHT

BECAUSE SAID TO ME EARLY

EPISODE WHICH WAS THE FRIDAY

BEFORE THIS DINNER AND HE SAID

"I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU WOULD BE

NICE BUT YOU HAD ME REALLY

HARD."

I DID TO.

BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO PULL MY

PUNCHES THAT PRESIDENTS GET TO

PROPOSE A THIRD TERM FOR

HE UNDERSTOOD THAT WITHOUT

THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE'S NOT GOING

TO TRY TO DO IT.

AT ONE POINT I SAID TO HIM

YOU'RE SCARING PEOPLE.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE SCARING

YOUR OWN CITIZENS SO MUCH?

AND I KNOW NOW YOU'RE ALL SAYING

WHAT THAT HE STATED THAT?

HONESTLY I DON'T REMEMBER.

BUT IT WASN'T "OKAY, I'LL STOP."

SO MAGA FANS, DON'T WORRY, YOUR

BOY GAVE ME NOTHING.

JUST HATS AND A VERY GENEROUS

AMOUNT OF TIME AND A WILLINGNESS

TO LISTEN, ACCEPT ME AS A

POSSIBLE FRIEND EVEN THOUGH I'M

NOT MAGA WHICH WAS THE POINT OF.

MY FAVORITE PART OF THE WHO

NIGHT WAS WE WEREG IN

THE BLOW ROOM--

[APPLAUSE]

HE SAID I'VE HEARD FROM A LOT OF

PEOPLE WHO REALLY LIKE THAT WE

ARE HAVING THIS DINNER.

NOT ALL BUT A LOT TO.

AND I SAID IT SAME.

ABOUT A PEOPLE TOLD ME THEY

LOVED IT BUT NOT ALL AND WE

AGREED THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T EVEN

WANT US TO TALK, WE DON'T LIKE

YOU.

DON'T TALK?

AS OPPOSED TO WHAT?

WRITING THE SAME EDITORIAL FOR

THE MILLIONTH TIME INTO MAKING

25 HOUR SPEECHES INTO THE

WIND-- THAT'S WHAT LIBERALS

HAVE?

ES THE PISSED OUT OFERYBODY ELSD

THY R YOU CAN HATE

OR IT, I'M NOT A LIAR.

TRUMP IS GRACIOU MEASURED

WHY HE ISN'T THAT IN OTHER

SETTINGS I DON'T KNOW AND I

CAN'T ANSWER IS NOT MY PLACE TO

I'M TELLING YOU WHAT I SAW AND I

WASN'T HIGH.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

MISSED OPPORTUNITY.

WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW!

PIERS MORGAN AND JOSH ROGIN ARE

HERE, RST...

HE'S THE FORITE HOUSE

F STST UNDER PRESIDENT

TRUMP WHO NOW HOSTS THE PODCAST

"WAR ROOM": STEVE BANNON.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YOU GOT ON THE END OF MY

STANDING OVATION SO LET'S

PRETEND THEY DIDN'T FOR YOU.

I WOULD NOT BE DOING MY JOB

IF THEY GAVE ME A STANDING

Bill: WE ARE GOING TO TALK

ABOUT THAT BUT FIRST I WANT TO

KNOW IF YOU'RE OKAY.

I KNOW YOU WERE JUST IMPRISON,

HOW WAS IT, DID YOU MEET ANY

NICE GUYS?

SINCE THIS SHOW WILL PLAY ON

DAN BARRY ON SATURDAY NIGHT I

WANT TO SAY HIGH ALL THE MEN AND

THEN BTHE PRIERYTOUGH, VERY DANF

TH INCARCERATION OF THE

NINE DRUG OFFENDERS, THESE YOUNG

MEN GET PUT AWAY FOR 15, 20, 25

YEARS IN A SMALL, OVER

100-YEAR-OLD PRISON LIKE DAN

BARRY.

DRUGS GET IN THERE AND IT'S A

DANGEROUS PLACE BUT I HAD AN

AMAZING EXPERIENCE THERE.

IS IT A TOUGH ONE?

WE HEAR A LOT ABOUT THE ARYAN

BROTHERHOOD, WERE THEY IN THERE

AND DID THEY GIVE YOU EXTRA FOOD

TO?

[LAUGHTER]

I WASN'T IN THE CAMP, I WAS

IN A PRISON, MEDIUM PRISONS IS

WHERE PRISON POLITICS IS.

LOW, THERE'S NO PRISON POLITICS,

ALTHOUGH THERE'S OBVIOUSLY

SEPARATION.

YOU'RE IN THE NEW YORK CAR, THE

DOMINICAN CAR, THE PUERTO RICAN

CAR, THE MEXICAN CAR-- YOU STAY

WITH YOUR OWN EXCEPT THE TIMES

YOU ARE IN THE YARD WORKING OUT

LIKE I WAS A TEACHER IN THE

EDUCATION DEPARTMENT, I TAUGHT

CIVICS

HAVING BEEN THERE

INSURRECTION.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

Bill: AMERICA, LADIES AND

I'M GOING TO SUGGEST A POLICY OF

NEVER HEARD THIS-- NO

POLITICIANS IN PRISON.

YOU CAN IMPEACH THEM, YOU CAN

PUT THEM TO COURT, WE DISAGREE

ABOUT THAT THAT'S ONE REASON WHY

YOU WERE IN PRISON.

FOR A MISDEMEANOR, FOR

Bill: ALL RIGHT, I'M

TALKING ABOUT--

THEY ARE COMING AFTER TRUMP.

Bill: YOU GUYS STARTED WITH

LOCK HER UP, OKAY?

LET ME JUST GET IT OUT.

SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN LOCKED

UP AND WE DIDN'T GO AFTER HER.

AGREE THEN.GUESS WE DON'

ONE GOOD NIGH

WHITE HOUSE SHOULD MAKE YOU SOFT

RKOUT.

[LAUGHTER]

Bill: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO

JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU WERE THERE BECAUSE YOU

REFUSED TO TESTIFY TO THE

COMMITTEE THAT WAS LED BY THAT

FIERY LIBERAL LIZ CHENEY.

A GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT

CRAWLED ON THEIR BELLY TO THE

WHITE HOUSE TO GET FOR THE WORST

FIRST TIME IN THEIR HISTORY

PREEMPTIVE BLANKET PARDONS FOR

EVERY MEMBERE G6 COMMITTEE

AND THEIRTAFF'S NEVER

BEEN BECAU THEY LIED AND

PERJURED THEMSELVES THE

TIME.

THAT INVESTIGATION REGAR

THEY HAVE PARDONS THERE STILL

COULD H INVESTIGATION A

WHEN THEY GET CALLED BEFORE THEY

CAN'T TAKE THE FIFTH AMENDMENT.

THE THING WAS TOTALLY WRITTEN

TOTALLY CORRUPT.

I DID IT TO STAND UP FOR THE

CONSTITUTION, THAT COMMITTEE WAS

Bill: I BROUGHT A COPY

TONIGHT, HERE IT IS.

THE CONSTITUTION.

CAN I READ A PASSAGE TO YOU?

[LAUGHTER]

AMENDMENT TO 22, NO PERSON SHALL

BE ELECTED TO THE OFFICE OF THE

PRESIDENT MORE THAN TWICE.

AND YET DO YOU KEEP TALKING--

MAYBE SHOULD HAVE THIS.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

I WILL SET IT BACKSTAGE.

UP-- MYSELFNDSNGBRIN

FOR THE TERM,PRESIDENT TRUM GOIN

FOR A THIRD TERM IN

PRESIDENT TRUMP IS GOING TO BE

ELECTED AGAIN ON THE AFTERNOON

OF JANUARY 20TH OF 2029.

HE'S GOING TO BE PRESIDENT OF

THE UNITED STATES.

Bill: THE THING I JUST READ

IN THEIR-- IT SEEMED LIKE THERE

WAS NO WIGGLE ROOM THERE.

IT SEEMED LIKE IT WAS EIGHT OR

TEN WORDS THAT SAID ONLY TO GO

TERMS.

WE HAVE A TEAM OF PEOPLE.

Bill: HOW CAN A TEAM DO

SOMETHING ABOUT THAT?

I DON'T CARE IF THE TEAM IS

THE WORDS ARE STILL THE WORDS.

EVERY DAY IN FEDERAL COURTS,

RIGHT NOW IN FEDERAL COURTS

THERE ARE 120 LAWSUITS ON WHAT

PRESIDENT TRUMP IS DOING FOR HIS

ARTICLE TO RIGHTS ON THE UNIFIED

EXECUTIVE THEORY.

HE'S CHIEF EXECUTIVE HE'S

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF AND HE'S

CHIEF MAGISTRATE AND CHIEF

LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER.

THEY ARE RUNNING TO COURT EVERY

DAY TO SUE PRESIDENT TRUMP ALL

BECAUSE OF THE INTERPRETATION OF

THIS, THE INTERPRETATION OF THIS

IS OPEN FOR INTERPRETATION.

Bill: HAN IT BE OPEN,

VEN'T BACK?

YOU AGREE HE'S A PERSON.

SHALL BE ELECTED THAT SHE WAS

ELECTED-- TO THE OFFICE-- THE

OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT MORE

THAN TWICE.

TWICE IS ONCE AND ANOTHER TIME.

[LAUGHTER]

I DON'T SEE WHAT THE TEAM--

WILL MAKE DISAGREE.

IN 2014 YOU TALK ABOUT LONG

ODDS WHEN I BACKED

PRESIDENT TRUMP WHEN I WAS

RUNNING BREITBART THEY SAID I

TURNED BREITBART INTO PRAVDA, HE

PULLED AT 0.

THEM LATER IN 2021 AFTER HE GOT

BACK TO MAR-A-LAGO WHE FOX

ABANDONED HIM IN THE MURDO

ABANDON HIM, THE ODDS WERE

THE MOVEMENT AND THE TIP OF THES

BEFORE.

AND WE BECOME AT WINN TWICE

AND WERE GONNA COME OUT-- WE

HAVE LONG ODDS ON THIS WE ARE

GOING TO COME OUT WINNING A

THIRD TIME ON THE AFTERNOON OF

THE 20TH OF JANUARY 2029 IS

GOING TO BE PRESIDENT OF THE

Bill: BY THE WAY I DID SAY

TO THEM AT ONE POINT IT WORKS

OUT BETTER THAT YOU LOST THE

2020 ELECTION.

100%, STOLEN.

THE 2020 ELECTION WAS STOLEN.

IT'S BETTER THAT HAPPENS, LOOK

AT EVERYTHING HE'S ACCOMPLISHING

W.

BY STEPHEN MILLER AN VOTES R

TO COME OF THINK TANKS

THEY WERE ABLE TO COME UP WITH

WE CAN FLOOD THE ZONE WITH TEN

ARS TO THINK THR

UNDERSTANDYALTY IS AND

UNDERSTAND THE PROGRAM.

IT'S MUCH BETTER IF THEY HADN'T

STOLEN THE ELECTION IN 2020 TO

LET PRESIDENT TRUMP HAVE A

SECOND TERM, THEY HAD HIM

SURROUNDED.

NOW LOOK WHAT HE'S DOING NOW ON

THE WORLD STAGE IS DOING THE

BIGGEST CHANGES SINCE THE END OF

Bill: MY POINT IS IT'S LIKE

A SUPERHERO MOVIE.

I MOVIE HAS THREE ACTS.

A HERO RISES, BUT THEN TO GET TO

THE THIRD ACT, YOU HAVE TO GO

DOWN AND THEN YOU HAVE TO GET TO

THE POINT WHERE IT IS SAD, WE

ARE DOWN AT OUR LOWEST LEVEL.

HIM HE GOT THAT RIGHT AWAY, HE

UNDERSTOOD THAT IF YOU D

SEEM TO UNDERSTAND IT.

YOU ARE PITCHING TO BE THAT

HE'S ON HERO JOURNEY, BILL

JOURNEY.H THE HEROE

Bill: THAT'S WHAT A

SUPERH MOVIE DOES AND I WATCH

ANY OF THEM.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'M SAYING AS AN ARC IT'S A

WHY DON'T YOU JUST ADMIT YOU

LOST THE MIDDLE ONE?

LET ME MOVE ON TO ELON MUSK,

HERE ARE SOME OF YOUR QUOTES.

ELON MUSK IS AN EVIL PERSON,

STOPPING HIM HAS BECOME A

PERSONAL ISSUE FOR ME, I WILL

GET HIM KICKED OUT BY THE

INAUGURATION, THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN

BUT I'M SURE YOU'RE STILL ON IT.

YOU SAVE MUSK AS A PARASITIC

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT, HE WANTS TO

IMPOSE HIS FREAK EXPERIMENTS ON

THE COUNTRY.

WOW!

SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO

MAKE UP YOUR MIND ABOUT THE GUY.

[LAUGHTER]

ARE YOU THE GUY WHO KEYED MY

TESLA?

THIS PUTS YOU IN LEAGUE WITH ALL

THE FAR LEFTIES WHO ARE BURNING

TESLA'S.

HE WAS A DLING OF THE FAR

THE OLIGARCHSSILICON VALLEY

WERE ALL CREATED, THEY'RE ALL

PROGRESSIVE LEFT AND THEY WEREA.

EXCEPT FOR MUSK WHO SAW THE MATH

EARLIER.

ZUCKERBERG GOES ON TRIAL ON

MONDAY BY TRUMP FTC FOR WHAT HE

DID COME OF THE WHISTLE-BLOWER

SAID WHEN HE SOLD US OUT TO THE

CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY.

THOSE GUYS ALL HAD THE ROAD TO

DAMASCUS AT 11:00 P.M. ON THE

5TH OF NOVEMBER WHEN WE WON AND

ALL OF THE SUDDEN THEY WANT TO

BE MAGA-- THEY ARE TOTALLY

SELF-CENTERED AND THEY ARE A

PRODUCT OF THE APARTHEID STATE

THAT WAS GRADED BY PROGRESSIVE

NOW WE HAVE TO BREAK ITD I

K YOU'RE GOING TO SEE

PRESIDENT TRUMP'S JUSTICE

DEPARTMENT,FCC GO

THESE GUYS ST WITH

MAKERBER

Bill: MY QUESTION IS TRUMP

WAS ALWAYS RIGHT ABOUT

EVERYTHING--

I DON'T THINK HE'S RIGHT

ABOUT EVERYTHING.

YOU SAW.

Bill: WHAT A SISSY

RUNABOUT, TARIFFS?

I DIDN'T SAY WRONG TO MY SAID

WE DON'T AGREE.

Bill: SO HE'S NEVER WRONG.

IS THE EVER WRONG?

SOMETIMES I THINK--

Bill: YOU'RE IN TROUBLE.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU KNOW HE'S WATCHING!

SPEAK TARIFF POLICY HAS

GREAT.

FIVE COUNTRIES WHO HAVE COME

BACK ARE TAIWAN, JAP, KOREA,

INDIA, AND VIETNAM.

Bill: WHEN HE RUNS FOR A

THIRD TERM, IS THERE ANY

DEMOCRAT WHO SCARES YOU WHO HE

COULD BE RUNNING AGAINST?

I GUESS IF WE ALLOW THAT IT

COULD BE OBAMA.

ABSOLUTELY, I THINK IT WOULD

BE GREAT, ALIEN VS. PREDATOR.

Bill: THAT'S KIND OF A

WORSE INSULT TO TRUMP I THINK.

IF YOU WANT TO BRING

PRESIDENT OBAMA WHO I THINK HAS

LOST HIS FASTBALL GO AHEAD AND

BRING IT TO.

ALL THE GOVERNORS YOU HAVE I

DON'T THINK ANYONE IS STANDING

UP TO SPEED TO.

YOU WOULD HAVE TO RUN SOME OF

THE STEPHEN A. SMITH OR SOMEONE

IN YOUR CELEBRITY CATEGORY, THAT

WILL BE THE DEMOCRATIC NOMINEE

THAT WOULD HAVE THE BEST SHOT.

BUT I THINK HE IS UNBEATABLE

BECAUSE THE COALITION THAT HE'S

BUILT AND IT'S ONLY GOING TO GET

BIGGER BECAUSE HE'S BRINGING

BACK AMERICAN MANUFACTURING JOBS

TO WORKING-CLASS PEOPLE AND THE

DEMOCRATIC PARTY ABANDONED

WORKING CLASS PEOPLE FOR THEEDEK

ALL THE TIME.

WE CAN'TPLAY A

POPULIST IF YOU'RE NOT PREPARED

TO TAKE HARD THINGS LIKE THE

Bill: I GET IT.

YOU COURTED YOURSELF FOR

FLOODING THE ZONE-- FLOOD THE

ZONE WITH SHIT IT'S ONE OF YOUR

MOST FAMOUS QUOTES, THE REAL

OPPOSITION AS THE MEDIA AND THE

WAY TO DEAL WITH THEM IS TO

FLOOD THE ZONE WITH SHIT.

THIS DISCUSSION WE HAD, IS THIS

REAL?

YOU SAY YOU DO THIS, I WANT TO

KNOW IF THIS WAS REAL.

ITS REAL TIME SO IT'S GOT TO

Bill: THANK YOU, I'M GLAD

YOU MADE IT OUT OF PRISON.

I HOPE I SEE YOU SOON.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, TIME TO

MEET OURANEL

HI, GUYS,

HE'S LEAD GLOBAL SECURITY

ANALYST FOR WASHINGTON POST

INTELLIGENCE AND AUTHOR OF

"CHAOS UNDER HEAVEN: TRUMP, XI,

AND THE BATTLE FOR THE 21ST

CENTURY":

JOSH GROBAN!

HE'S THE HOST OF "PIERS MORGAN

UNCENSORED" ON YOUTUBE: PIERS

MORGAN.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

BY THE WAY, THAT WAS

BRILLIANT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT

TRUMP I WAS DYING TO KNOW, WE

ALL WERE.

THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY GROUP OF

PEOPLE EVER ASSEMBLED AT THE

WHITE HOUSE BUT THE WAY YOU TOLD

THAT EECIALLYHE BIT ABOUT

ALL E HE GAVE--HE

LAST TIME I INTERV, HE

ENDS UP IUING FOUR STATEMENTS

ABOUT ME AND INCREASING

FEROCITY, THE LAST ONE HE SAID

PIERS MORGAN IS SO DEAD HE'S

CATCHING FLIES THAN THREE OR

FOUR MONTHS LATER, IT'S DONALD,

ARE WE GOOD TO?

I REALIZED EXACTLY AS YOU FOUND.

THE FRONT MAN STUFF, THE

THEATER, THE PRESIDENT-- THE

PERSONA HE PUTS ON, THAT IS NOT

THE REAL DONALD TRUMP AND I

REPORT EXACTLY WHAT IAW AND

HEADED TO THE BEST MY ABILITY.

COUNTERPOINT?

I THINK YO ARE RIGHT IN SAYING .

IS NOT THE SUMMITS, YOU'RE NOT

CHURCHILL, KID ROCK IS NOT

STALIN.

I BELIEVE TOO MUCH HAS BEEN MADE

ABOUT THIS BUT I THINK YOU'VE

FALLEN INTO THE TRAP AND IT

REPRESENTED 99% THE INTERNET

WHEN I SAY THIS IS YOU HAVE

PLAYED THE GAME OF PROXIMITY IS

PRINCIPAL.

PEOPLE ARE WORRIED ABOUT-- IT'S

NOT YOUR MOTIVATION, WE BELIEVE

YOU, WE LOVE YOU, EVERYBODY

LOVES BILL, RIGHT?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I'M NOT QUESTIONING MOTIVATION,

AND QUESTIONING TRUMPS.

WE CAN SAY THAT YOU WENT THERE

IN GOOD FAITH BUT MAYBE HE

WASN'T THERE A GOOD FAITH.

YOU SOLD HIM ON THE IRAN DEAL

AND HE TOOK IT IN, GIVE ME A

BREAK.

THE IDEA HERE IS YOUR MOTIVATION

IS SOUND BUT WHAT'S THE IMPACT?

I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT

THERE, FANS OF YOURS--

Bill: YOU DON'T HAVE TO

PATRONIZE ME, I DON'T KNOW YOU

THAT WELCOME I NEVER MET YOU,

NOT EVERYBODY HAS TOE IT.

THAT'S WHAT WE SAID, THERERE

AT ALL, YOU SOUND LIKE ONE OF

THEM.

IT'S OKAY.

DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?

WHAT ISHE ALTERNATIVE TO NOT

TALKING.

SIT AT YOUR LUNCH TABLE AND NOT

I INTERVIEWED TRUMP--

Bill: THIS WAS NOT AN

I AGREE WITH THE PRINCIPLE OF

ENGAGEMENT YOU HAVE TO

UNDERSTAND FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE

THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO OUT THERE

KNOW THAT FOR HIM THIS WAS A

P.R. STUNT AND IN HIS VIEW OF

YOU WERE A PROPHET NOT P.R.

STUNT.

I DON'T AGREE WITH THAT.

IT DOESN'T MEAN IT WASN'T THE

RIGHT THING TO DO.

IF YOU GO ON SOCIAL MEDIA FOR

MINUTES NOW, YOU HAVE THE

PRIMAL FURY R ALLONG,ERYONE'S GA

THERE, IMPY HER.

ACTUALLY MOST AMERICANS, MOST

BRITS ARE NOT L THAT.

THIS IS SCREAMING GOING ON

BETWEEN THESE TRIBES AND

ACTUALLY WE CAN CROSS THAT LINE,

SITTING DOWN FROM HAVING DINNER,

HAVING LAUGHED, HAVING A CHAT IN

THE IDEA THAT BILL MORRIS NOW

GOING TO STOP CRITICIZING

DONALD TRUMP'S PREPOSTEROUS.

Bill: I DIDN'T DO IT BEFORE

I DIDN'T DO IT IN A MONOLOGUE,

THE FACT THAT YOU BEGAN YOUR

RANT WITH THE INTERNET-- THAT

YOU TAKE YOUR CUES FROM THE

INTERNET, GOOD LUCK!E INTERNET T

JUST WAN FIGHT.

I SUPPORT WHAT YOU'REING

TO DO IT THE EXPECTATION THAT

DONALD TRUMP IS GOING TO BE

Bill: I SAID IN THE PIECE I

DID NOT THINK THAT WAS GOING TO

I LOVE THE PEOPLE ON EITHER SIDE

THE PARTS THEY DON'T LIKE.

I JUST DID IT IT WASN'T LIKE IT

WAS THREE WEEKS AGO.

WATCH IT AGAIN, MAYBE YOU'LL

FIND SOMETHING NEW IN IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU SAID TO

THEM OVER DINNER BUT ALL HELL

BROKE LOOSE WITHIN THREE D

WE AREING ECONOMIC ADVICE

AND THERE?

Bill: HE WAS DOING THE

TARIFFS WEL BEFORE THAT THAT

WAS ONE SUBJECT THAT DIDN'T COME

UP.

TARIFFS, THAT ITHINK I WAS

GOOD TO BE TALKING AUT TARIFFS

I DIDN'T, I DID NOT SEE THAT

COMING UP.

IT'S FUCKING BORING, IT'S I

DON'T LIKE TARIFFS.

I THINK I'M A GENERALLY WITH THE

CONSENSUS WHICH IS THIS IS SOME

KEATTEMPT TO BRING IN AN ERA

THAT'S GONE WITH THE WIND,

MANUFACTURING.

"THE NEW YORK TIMES" HEADLINE A

WEEK AGO GLOBAL TRADE ROBS U.S.,

DOES HAVE A POINT?

I THINK TRUMP HAS AN AMAZING

ABILITY TO CORRECTLY DIAGNOSE A

PROBLEM AND FUMBLED THE SOLUTION

WITH A POLICY IT IS TOTALLY

INCOHERENT AND INCOMPETENT AND I

THINK THAT'S WHAT WE ARE SEEING

HERE.

IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT IT'S

OBVIOUS THEY DON'T HAVE A

STRATEGY BECAUSE A STRATEGY

CHANGES EVERY DAY.

TICULATE IT.

IN SAYING THAT YOU ARE GOING TO

HAVE A WAR WITH CHINA AND THE RS

KIND OF LIKE SAYING DON'T WORRY

WE AREN'T GOING TO BURN DOWN THE

HOUSE WE ARE JUST GOING TO SET

FIRE TO THE KITCHEN AND

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY.

IT'S RECKLESS, PEOPLE KNOW THAT

IN REAL PEOPLE SUFFER FROM THE

CONSEQUENCES OF THE COLLATERAL

DAMAGE THAT COMES FROM DIRECTING

BACK AND FORTH-- WE ARE GOING

TO HAVE HUGE TARIFFS, WE ARE

GOING TO HAVE HUGE TARIFFS.

Bill: I DON'T THINK ANYBODY

LIKES THAT.

HE'S DOING WHAT HE ALWAYS

DOES, DONALD TRUMP.

HE WILL TAKE AN EXTREME

POSITION, HE STARTS THERE, HE

THROWS OPENING AGAINST THE WALL,

HE SEES HOW IT PLAYS OUT, HE

STARTS TO GAIN IT AND HE STARTS

TO WORK OUT WHAT'S POPULAR AND

WHAT'S NOT.

TOTAL MAYHEM TO START, MARKETS

FREAKING COME EVERYONE

COLLAPSES, LIBERALS AROUND THE

WOD GOING INTO ANAPHYLACTIC

SHOCK, FIND.

THEY LITERALLY DO THAT WHEN HE

WAKES UP SO IT FINE.

LOOK AT WHERE HE ENDED UP IN THE

WEEK, MARKETS ROLLING BACK AND

CHINA WAS THE MAIN TARGET AND

ALWAYS HAS BEEN, I'VE

INTERVIEWED HIM PROBABLY MORE

THAN ANY JOURNALIST ALIVE HE'S

ALWAYS GOING ON ABOUT CHINA

RIPPING OFF AMERICA AND ON THAT

HE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, IT HAS.

NOW HE'S IN A PLACE WHERE IT'S

THE UNITED STATES AGAINST CHINA

AND I WOULD ACTUALLY BACK TO THE

UNITED STATES UNITED STATES TO

WIN A TRADE WAR RIGHT NOW WITH

CHINA AND PUT CHINA BACK IN ITS

WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE WAS HIM

TAKING ON THE WHOLE OF EUROPE

AND MEXICO AND CANADA AND OTHER

ALLIES.

I THINK YOU ARE NOWEEING THEWEEE

BEEN HIS GAME ALL ALONG-- IT

WOULD SURPRISE ME.

I DON'T THINK SO.

WE DONW.

WE DO KNOW, COME ON.

YOU THINK IT'S FOR DEGREE CHESS?

IS HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS.

ITS ECONOMIC VERSION OF HUNGRY

HUNGRY HIPPOS.

THE PRESIDENT DOESN'T PLAY BY

THE NORMAL RULES COME HE TRUSTS

HIS INSTINCT AND HIS GOD AND HIS

GUT IS OFTEN RIGHT.

AND IT'S OFTEN WRONG, WHEN

IT'S WRONG, PEOPLE SUFFER

BECAUSE THE COLLATERAL DAMAGE IS

CATASTROPHIC.

PEOPLE LOSE THEIR JOBS AND THEIR

BUSINESSES WHILE HE'S TRYING TO

FIGURE O WHAT THE ZEITGEIST

WANTS HIM TO DO.

I WROTE A B ABOUT TRUMP END

OF-- NOT A SG TO CHINA, STEVEA

PRIMARY SOURCE OF MY BOOK, I'M

ON BOARD WITH PROCTING

OURSELVES FROM CHINA

THE PRLEM IS IT YOU DOING IT

WITHOUT THINKING IT THROUGH YOU

UNDERMINE THE ACTUAL--

CHINA BLINKED A BIT TODAY,

THEY SAID WE ARE GOING TO RAISE,

THAT'S THE LAST TIME WE ARE

GOING TO RAISE IT.

THAT LOOKED TO ME LIKE A MINI

IT'S THEM SAYING THAT'S OUR

CEILING FOR THIS RACE RIGHT NOW

AND WHAT TRUMP DOES NEXT WILL BE

Bill: THIS IS BORING LIKE I

SAID TARIFFS ARE.

YOU GUYS ARE BORING.

I'M TRYING TO MAKE IT

INTERESTING.

Bill: YOU ARE FAILING.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

LET ME ASK ANOTHER QUESTION

ABOUT THIS BECAUSE WHAT WORRIES

ME IS TRADE WARS CAN BECOME REAL

WARS CAN THEY NOT?

I'M THINKING ABOUT JAPAN IN THE

WE TOOK AWAY THE OIL I THINK AND

IT SOMETHING SOMETHING

ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

Bill: CHINA HAS BEEN AENEMY -

LOT OF DIFFERENCES BUT WE

TIED TOGETHER BY MONEY COME

YOU TAKE AWAY THE MONEY AND YOU

TAKE AWAY THE FRE FROM FRONT TO

ME, NOW THEY ARE JUST THE ENEMY.

THAT CODEPENDENCE ALSO KEEPS

OUR ECONOMY HOSTAGE TO THEIR'S.

WE HAVE TO MANAGE IT CAREFULLY

BECAUSE THERE ARE SECURITY

CONCERNS AND HUMAN RIGHTS

CONCERNS WE CAN'T IGNORE HER.

A MANAGING THAT SCUM OF THE MOST

COMPLEX RELATIONSHIP IN THE

WORLD BETWEEN THE TWO GO BIG ITS

POWERS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT

THING IN OUR LIFETIME, IN OUR

GENERATION FOR OUR LEADERS.

TO DO IT ON THE FLY CHANGING

THIS AND THATHERE

WE CAN AGREE WE HAVE A PROBLEM

BUT WE NEE A SOLUTION IT'S

ACTUALLY THOUGHT THROUGH.

I CAN ALSO ACCEPT IT COULD

WORK.

THAT'S A RISK TO TAKE.

Bill: I WOULD NOT TAKE THE

CHINA SENT THE SAME AS THEY

WERE IN 2017.

THEY ARE MUCH STRONGER AND MORE

WHEN WE WAGE A TRADE WAR ON THE

REST OF THE WORLD AT THE SAME

TIME WE ARE PUSHING THEM INTO

THEIR WAITING ARMS.

YOU CAN'T WAGE A WAR ON EVERY

COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.

Bill: THE THING I LEARNED

THIS WEEK, FAREED ZAKARIA WAS

GREAT ON IT I THINK IT REALLY

WENT UNDER THEADAR WE ARE

A COUNTRY WHO WAS BEING

SUCKERED AND DOINGRIBL

GETTING KICKED.

JUST SOME STATS THAT ARE OUT

THERE-- 2008, THE U.S. ECONOMY

WAS ABOUT THE SAME SIZE AS THE

EUROPEAN UNION, NOW IT'S TWICE.

IT WENT FROM 14 TO MAKE

28 TRILLION AND THEY ONLY WENT

UP TO 15.

1990, AVERAGE U.S. WAGES WERE

20% GREATER THAN THE OVERALL

AVERAGE IN EVERY INDUSTRIALIZED

NATION, NOW THEY ARE 40% HIGHER.

A LOT OF THIS STUFF YOU DON'T

REALIZE BECAUSE I'M GOING TO

SAY-- OBVIOUSLY IF YOUR LIFE

ISN'T GOINT AND YOU'RE

STRUGGLING AND A LOT OF PEOPLE

AR THAT'S V TO YOU.

MISSISSIPPIEAD POOREST

STATE IS RICHER T FRANCE,

RICHER THAN THE U.K., RICHER

THAN JAPAN.

WE ARE DOING THIS SORT OF ON A

FALSE PREMISE.

I THOUGHT THIS WAS

INTERESTING-- WAGES.

WAGE GAP HAS NOT REALLY CHANGED

IF YOU ADD IN ALL THE MONEY THAT

GOES FROM TAKING IT FROM RICH

PEOPLE FOR BENEFITS AND SO FORTH

THAT'S PRETTY MUCH THE SAME AS

THAT WAS IN 1960.

I DON'T THINK PEOPLE ARE USING

THIS MODEL TO MAKE THEIR

DECISIONS ABOUT THE ECONOMY.

I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE WITH THE

TARIFFS ARE LIKE WE ARE SO

FUCKED, THE SYSTEM IS JUST

CORRUPT, SO THROW IT ALL OUT.

WE NEED SOMETHING DRASTIC, JUST

BREAK EVERYTHING.

WHAT IS THERE TO LOSE?

THERE'S A LOT TO LOSE, YOUR

401(K), YOUR CAR THAT YOU CAN'T

AFFORD NOW, YOU HAVE A LOT TO

LOSE.

I THINK YOU'RE EXACTLY RIGHT

ON THIS POINT, CLASSIC TRUMP

FASHION HE'S IDENTIFIED A REAL

PROBLEM.

THE BENEFITS OF GLOBALIZATION

SINCE THE END OF THE COLD WA

ARE NOT EVENLY DISTRIBUTED AMONG

THE RICH AND POOR.

THAT WAS A FAILIWESTERN

GOVERNMENT

TRUMP SOLUTION WHILE IDENTIFYING

THE PROBLEM CORRECTLY IS THE

SLASH BENEFITS FOR THE POOR AND

GIVE A TAX C TO THE RICH.

HOW DOES THAT FIX THAT PROBLEM?

IS A CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF TELLING

PEOPLE HE HEARS THEIR PAIN AND

INSTITUTING A SOLUTION THAT WAS

LIABLE TO MAKE IT WORSE.

I WOULD SAY THE ESTABLISHMENT

STEWARDS OF THE U.S. ECONOMY

GOING BACK 50-70 YEARS HAVE LET

AMERICA-- NOTWITHSTANDING THE

COMPLETELY ACCURATE ASSESSMENT

OF THOSE PARTICULAR ISSUES--

LET'S NOT FORGET AMERICA'S

$37 TRILLIDEBT AS

ELON MUSK A WARNING.ERICA COULDS

NOUL.

ALL THE EXPERTS WHO PRESIDED

OVER THE ECONOMY FOR DECADES

KNOW THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS

FOR THE BIRDS.

THAT'S A STRAWMAN.

HERE'S A THING YOU DON'T

UNDERSTAND.

PLEASE EDUCATE ME.

I WILL.

I'M A FAILED ECONOMIC STUDENT SO

BEAR WITH ME.

Bill: AND TK SHOW GUEST!

[LAUGHTER]

THE TRADE DEFICIT IN

BUDGET DEFICIT ARE TO GO

ERENTNGS.

TRYING TO MANEHE TRADE

DEFICIT ING US BUY BANANAS

IS BONKERS AND THE BUDGET

DEFICIT IS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT

Bill: LET ME CHANGE THE

SUBJECT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT

KILMAR ABREGO GARCIA-- NOT IN

THIS COUNTRY ANYMORE, THEY

PACKED HIM OFF TO A PRISON IN

EL SALVADOR BECAUSE THEY WERE

ROUNDING UP GANG MEMBERS.

THEY ARE PRETTY MUCH 100% SURE

HE WAS NOT IN A GANG EITHER.

DEPORTATION FLIGHTS.

TRUMP HAS HAD TWO AND 41 OF

THEM, BIDEN HAD 232 IN HIS LAST

COUPLE OF MONTHS WHEN HE FINALLY

GOT RELIGION ON THE BORDER.

THOSE ARE ABOUT THE SAME.

THE DIFFERENCE IS BIDEN WASN'T

TAKING THEM TO A FOREIGN PRISON.

BASED ON A TATTOO?

WOW.

BARISTAS, WATCH OUT.

[LAUGHTER]

I JUST HOPE-- THIS IS WRONG IN

MY VIEW.

IBLY WRONG.

THEEFT NEEDSALIZE WHEN

YOU GO TOO FAR WHETHER IT'S THE

BOTATES COMPLETELY OPEN OR

IT'S STUFF TO DO WITH RACISM OR

GENDER, WHEN THEY GET IN POWER,

THEY ARE GOING TO GO THE

PENDULUM TWICE AS FAR THE OTHER

WAY WRONG.

JUST KNOW THAT.

IF YOU WANT TO HATE ON

CENTRISTS.

THE KEY PROBLEM WITH THIS IS

A LACK OF DUE PROCESS.

WHEN YOU GET A GUY LIKE THIS WHO

ACCORDING TO A RULING IN A COURT

IN 2019 WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE

DEPORTED BACK TO EL SALVADOR

BECAISKO HIS LIFE

HEARD--DON'T KNOW WHERE HE

IS YOUR COW ISE ALIVE?

GO STAY ALIVE?

NGS THREATENING HIM ENOUGH

A U.S. COURT TO TO HE

SHOULD NOT BE DORTED BACK

THERE, WILL THEY GET TO HIM?

THIS IS AN X ESSENTIAL THREATS

TO THIS GUY'S LIFE AND LET'S NOT

PRETEND DONALD TRUMP CAN'T PICK

THE PHONE UP TO THE PRESENT OF

EL SALVADOR COME OF COURSE HE

CAN.

THEY ARE PAYING MILLIONS OF

DOLLARS TO FACILITATE THESE

GUYS--

Bill: THE WHOLE

SUPREME COURT UNANIMOUSLY SAID

LET'S HOPE THAT HAPPENS.

THEY SAID HE HAS HABEAS

CORPUS RIGHTS, HUMAN BEING'S

HAVE RIGHTS, EVEN ILLEGAL

ALIENS, EVEN ALLEGED TERRORISTS,

EVEN ALLEGED GANGSTERS THEY HAVE

WE DON'T GIVM HUMAN RIGHTS,

SOME OF THEM AREON

RAPISTS AND MURDERERS.

MOST AMERICANS ARE GOOD HAVE A

PROBLEM WITH CONVICTED RAPISTS

AND MURDERERS IN THE COUNTRY

ILLEGALLY PAYING THE--

Bill: I DON'T UNDERSTAND

SETTING UP TO A FOREIGN PRISON.

WE DON'T DO THAT?

WHY?

DOESN'T MAKE A LOT OF

Bill: OF COURSE IT DOES!

THAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH THIS

ONE.

Bill: WHY SEND OUR

PRISONERS TO A FOREIGN PRISON?

IT'S BASICALLY A BLACK SIGHTS.

THE CRUELTY IS THE OBJECTIVE

AND IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A

SPEAK OF THE MASS MAJORITY OF

THE PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THE

COUNTRY ILLEGALLY ANYWAY, SO

EY'RE NOT AMERICANS, NOT FROM

AMERICA.

Bill: SOME THESE PEOPLEWEREN

ERICAN CITIZEN TO HAVE RIGHTS.

Bill: BIDEN DEPORTED

PEOPLE, WE AREN'T AGAINST

DEPORTATION.

IT'S THIS WAY.

SLIGHTLY RELATED TO DEPORTATION,

TRICKIER QUESTION.

WHAT ABOUT BELIEFS?

THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT HAS SAID

IN THE CASE OF MAHMOUD KHALIL--

NOT MY POLITICS FOR A LONG SHOT.

HE'S FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF

WESTERN CIVILIZATION IN HIS

WORDS, JUST TO GIVE YOU WHERE

HE'S AT.

[LAUGHTER]

IN A MEMO SIGNED BY MARCO RUBIO,

IT DOES NOT ALLEGE ANY CRIMINAL

CONDUCT AGAINST HIM.

A LEGAL PERMANENT U.S. RESIDENT,

HE COULD BE EXPELLED FOR HIS

BELIEFS.

IT'S A TOUGH TIME.

YOU GOT TO STICK TO YOUR

THIS GUY IS TO ME THE WORST OF

THE WORST BUT I DON'T THINK YOU

COULD THROW PEOPLE OUT OF THIS

COUNTRY OR DISAPPEAR THEM

BEL

IS NOT A U.S. CITIZEN WHEN I

GIVE MY VIEW, THEN YOU CAN--

THE FIRST AMENDMENT APPLIES

TO EVERYONE.

YOU CAN EDUCATE ME WHEN I

I WILL.

THIS GUY IS IN THE COUNTRY ON

THE GREEN CARD, HE CAME IN AT

2022.

BY THE CRITERIA OF THAT,

SECRETARY OF STATE HAS POWER TO

REMOVE SOMEBODY WHO'S IN THE

COUNTRY ON A GREEN CARD EVEN IF

THEY HAVEN'T COMMITTED A CRIME.

IF THEY PRESENT A THREAT TO

NATIONAL SECURITY, TO THE

THIS GUY HAS BEEN ON RECORDE

HANDING OUT A PRO-HAMAS

LITERATURESCREAMING ABOUT

WATHE DESTRUCTION OF

WESTERN CATION.

LEADING A GROUP AS WE SAW WITH

OUR OWN EYES TERRORIZING JEWISH

STUDENTS AT COLUMBIA BECAUSE IN

VIOLENCE AND, THEY WERE STOPPING

Bill: THE MEMO DOESN'T

ALLEGE ANY CRIMINAL CONDUCT.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO.

HERE'S WHAT I WOULD SAY COME

I WOULD QUOTE YOU'RE LATE, GREAT

FRIEND CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS.

EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU VIOLATE OR

PROPOSE TO VIOLATE THE

FREE-SPEECH RIGHTS OF ANYONE,ARR

OWN BACK.

HATE SPEECH, OFFENSI SPEECH,THAT

NEEDS ING.

OF THE SPEECH THAT EVERYONE

AGREES WITH DOEST NEED--

IT'S A TERRORIST

HE WAS HANDING OUT PRO-HAMAS

HE WAS HANDING OUT

PRO-PALESTINIAN LITERATURE.

CRITICIZING ISRAEL'S POLICIES

IS NOT A CRIME IT'S A PERFECTLY

LEGITIMATE THING TO DO.

GAZANS ARE NOT REFUGEES, THEY

LIVE THERE, THAT'S THEIR HOME.

THAT'S WHY PEOPLE AREN'T TAKING

THEM IN BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT

REFUGEES AND IF WE MAKE THEM

INTO REFUGEES THEN WE ARE--

IT'S IMPORTANT TO THINK OF THIS

IN THE CONTEXT OF IT DO WE WANT

TO CREATE A S WHERE

ANTI-SEMIT THE FIGHTAINST ANTI-S

AUSTIFITION TO PERMIT

VIOLATION OF CIVIL LIBERTIES,

THE DESTRUCTION OF A GENERATIONA

TOP UNIVERSITIES IN THE

ENCROACHMENT OF THE SURVEILLANCE

STATE-- I DON'T HAVE TO BE

JEWISH TO SAY NO, THANK YOU I

DON'T WANT THAT.

WHAT IF I WAS A YOUNG STUDENT

AT COLUMBIA, THEY'RE ON A

GREEN CARD, BRITISH COME IN

HAPPY TO BE HERE, DOING MY

PAPERWORK GET TO COLUMBIA.

AND I START LEADING A GROUP

WHICH IS A BUNCH OF WHITE

SUPREMACISTS AND WE START

TERRORIZING BLACK STUDENTS IN

THE WAY THEY ARE TERRORIZING

JEWISH STUDENTS.

IN THAT CIRCUMSTANCE WOULD WE

ALL BE AS COMFORTABLE WITH THIS?

OR WAS THE REALITY THAT WAS

EXPOSED BY THE MOBS AT COLUMBIA

WHICH FOR SOME REASON JEWS GET

TREATED DIFFERENTLY FROM ANYBODY

ELSE.

Bill: CORRECT.

IF IT WAS WHITE SUPREMACIST

TREATING BLACK STUDENTS LIKE

THAT THEY WOULD BE OUT OF THE

COUNTRY IN 10 MINUTES.

[APPLAUSE]

DEFENDING THE RIGHT TO ARGUE

AND PARANOIA ARE PART OF THEJEW.

I THINK JUD THE JEWISH

AND COMPASSION A RESPECT FOROUEI

HUMAN RIGHTS AND RESPECT FOR THE

ENVIRONMENT, RESPECT FOR THE

ESSENTIAL ONENESS OF HUMANITY

AND NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE

EXHIBITED BY THROWING

ANTI-ISRAEL PROTESTERS OUT OF

THAT'S NOT WHAT JUDAISM STANDS

FOR.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A JEW TO BE

FOR HUMAN RIGHTS.

WHEN PEOPLE CROSS THE LINE INTO

VIOLENCE AND HARASSMENT BUT

THAT'S A STRAW MAN AND WE AREN'T

TALKING ABOUT THAT.

Bill: AS ALWAYS I THINK

THERE IS A REASONABLE COMPROMISE

IT ALWAYS EXISTS.

I THINK THE RIGHT TO ADMIT

THAT YOU CAN'T DISAPPEAR PEOPLE

FOR THEIR AND THE LEFT

HAS TO ADMIT SOME BELIEFS ARE

LIEFS A THE SAME.

OU ARE PRO-HAMAS ARE FOR

IS NOT JUS DIFFERENT FROM OUR

WAY OF GOVERNMENT, IT'S WORSE.

YOU'RE WANTING TO PUT WOMEN IN

WHO GETS TO DECIDE WHAT'S THE

Bill: I'M ON YOUR SIDE OF

THIS, THE LEFT DOESN'T ADMIT

THAT, THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

THESE KIDS ARE OUT THERE AND

THEY TREAT A TERRORIST

ORGANIZATION WITH THE MOST

ILLIBERAL BELIEFS IN THE WORLD

AS SOME SORT OF LIBERATING

FORCE.

SOME SORT OF FORCE FOR GOOD

LONG AS THEY OVEE

WITHYOU WILL GETNDULUM WAY OER H

THAT.

I HATE WHAT THEY SAY AND I

WILL DEFEND THEIR RIGHT TO SAY

WHAT IF HE HAD SAID ALL THIS

AT HIS GREEN CARD INTERVIEW,

WOULD HE HAVE GOTTEN A

GREEN CARD?

IF HE SAID I SUPPORT A TERRA

GROUP IN THE UNITED STATES

YOU'RE NOT COMING IN.

ALL MARCO RUBIO IS DOING IT

SEEMS TO BE STICKING BACK TO

THAT SCENARIO AND SAID IF YOU

HAD BEEN HONEST THEN THAT SHE

WAS DISHONEST ON HIS GREEN CARD

ABOUT OTHER STUFF WHICH IS

ANOTHER RT OF THE EQUATION.

WHICH MIGHT IN HIMSELF

DISQUALIFY HIM FROM STAYING IN

THE COUNTRY.

THE IDEA HE SAID I SUPPORT HAMAS

COME I SUPPORT A GLOBALADA

COME I SUPPORT THE DESTRUCTION

OF WES CIVILIZATION, AND IT

CAN BE A GREEN CO COME AND

Bill: I HAVE TO END IT.

THERE COME A TIME FOR NEW RULES,

EVERYBODY-- NEW RULES.

NEW RULE: SOMEONE HAS TO TELL

JESSICA SIMPSON, WHO JUST

REVEALED THAT SHE DRINKS A

CHINESE HERB ELIXIR THAT

CONTAINS SNAKE SPERM - WE'RE NOT

IMPRESSED.

HAVE YOU MET BOBBY KENNEDY?

[LAUGHTER]

GET BACK TO ME WHEN YOU DRINK IT

STRAIGHT OUT OF THE SNAKE.

NEW RULE: NOW THAT THE LIBRARY

OF CONGRESS HAS ADDED TO ITS

REGISTRY OF HISTORIC RECORDINGS

"MY HEART WILL GO ON," "FLY LIKE

AN EAGLE," "GOODBYE YELLOW BRICK

READ" AND "I AM WOMAN"...

THIS IS THE GOVERNMENT'S JOB?

MAKING SURE FUTURE GENERATIONS

WI BE ABLE TO HEAR ELTON JOHN

SING ABOUT "HUNTING THE HORNY

BESIDES, I DON'T THINK THESE

SONGS ARE IN ANY DANGER OF

DISAPPEARING; I HEARD THEM ALL

LAST NIGHT WHILE BUYING MY $12

DOLLAR EGGS AT RALPHS.

[LAUGHTER]

NEW RULE: THE NEVADA MAN WHO WAS

ARRESTED AFTER SEVEN "EMOTIONAL

SUPPORT TIGERS" WERE FOUND IN

HIS HOUSE MUST TELL ME ONE

THING: WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS DO

YOU HAVE THAT SIX TIGERS

COULDN'T FIX?

[LR]

ANTI AGINGT BRHNSON,S TO TELL

I KNOW HIM COMING AS A FRIEND OF

MINE NOW-- I LOVE HIM.

WHO'S BEEN GETTING BOTOX

INJECTIONS IN HIS PENIS, THERE'S

A SIMPLER WAY TO REMOVE DICK

WRINKLES.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

JUST RUB IT.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

ALSO, IF BOTOX WORKS ON THE

PENIS LIKE IT DOES ON THE FACE,

HOW WILLOW WHEN IT'S

ANGRY?

NEW RULE: SINCE THIS IS GOING TO

BE A TURBULENT YEAR FOR STOCKS,

LET'S MAKE A "CONCERNED GUYS OF

THE STOCK EXCHANGE" CALENDAR,

WHERE EACH MONTH THERE'S A

DIFFERENT STOCK BROKER WHO LOOKS

LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO JUMP OUT THE

PERFECT FOR WAKING UP EVERY DAY

AND SAYING, "WELL, AT LEAST MY

LIFE ISN'T AS FUCKED AS THAT

GUY'S."

OK THAT'S OUR SHOW.

I WANNA THANK MY GUESTS JOSH

ROGIN, PIERS MORGAN AND STEVE

CLUB RANDOM DROPS EVERY SUNDAY

ON YOUTUBE, OR LISTEN WHEREVER

YOU GET YOUR PODCASTS.

NOW GO WATCH "OVERTIME" ON

YOUTUBE.

THANK YOU VERY MUCIES

GENTLEMEN.

♪ ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]