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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:07,960 Michael, a demon has infiltrated the group. 2 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,216 Not just any demon. 3 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:14,346 Trevor is a diabolical, sadistic agent of evil. 4 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:18,391 Might just be the single most dangerous creature in the universe. 5 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,720 Who wants lemon bars? 6 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,973 It's my nana's recipe and they are just sinful. 7 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,938 Love 'em on my lips but hate 'em on my hips, if you know what I mean. 8 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,520 Alright, new guy, comin' in strong with free dessert. 9 00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:33,948 You must be Eleanor, the reason this is all happening. 10 00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,739 I am. That's so nice to hear someone say 11 00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:38,598 "Eleanor, you're the reason this is all happening" 12 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,363 who isn't a judge in small claims court. 13 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,407 Thank you for this, Eleanor. 14 00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,743 It's a wonderful thing you've done. 15 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,037 Mm... Happy to help you out, buddy. 16 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:49,255 Oh, we're doing a long hug! 17 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,212 - Are you crying? - I'm sorry, I... 18 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:56,095 God, I'm just so happy to be here, if that makes sense. 19 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,806 OK, the five of us narrowly avoided death. 20 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,217 The operating theory 21 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,510 of this experiment is that... 22 00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:12,062 So, I give them ethics problems and we scan their brains 23 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,272 and we get a sense of their baseline moral instincts. 24 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,819 Right. Then I'll show them pictures 25 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,012 that trigger memories of their near-death experiences. 26 00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:20,779 We'll scan again, and see if we get a different result. 27 00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:24,790 For example, I'll show Jason pictures of: a safe... 28 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,460 a snorkel, and whip-it canisters. 29 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:31,339 Got it. Also, what a grim death that would've been. 30 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,046 Darling, do you remember all the rules about what can 31 00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:36,128 and cannot be worn inside an MRI? 32 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:40,215 More specifically, what if one's brassiere is very thin 33 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,218 but also very pure... gold. 34 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:46,721 I dunno but I'm in a similar "situ-aysh" 35 00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:49,774 because the sports bra I'm wearing is kind of rust-coloured 36 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:53,274 underneath the armpits, so I guess we'll roll the dice together. 37 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,363 Hey, Eleanor, do I have the right phone number for you? 38 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,534 You haven't responded to any of the dank memes I've sent! 39 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,031 Oh, yeah, I... 40 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,613 cos I was laughing too hard to reply. 41 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:06,662 OK, what's your "fave?" Cos mine's "Damn, Daniel!" 42 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,952 "Back at it again with the white Vans!" 43 00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,958 - Should we get started maybe? - Oh, Mrs Teacher... 44 00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,961 for my turn, is there any way to get like... 45 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:18,886 - extra radiation? - There is no radiation in an MRI. 46 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,055 - But why do you ask? - Uh, no reason. 47 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,804 Jason, what have you got in your hand there, bud? 48 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,681 - Nothing. - Is it a spider? 49 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,729 - Yes. - Do you think taking a spider 50 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,228 in an MRI machine will give you super powers? 51 00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,651 Hey, it might work. He already bit me a bunch of times 52 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,028 and gave me the power to swell up my hand! 53 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,071 - Oh, my God! - What? 54 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,578 - Trevor. - Hey, Mikey, fancy seeing you down on Earth 55 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,497 completely illegally. 56 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:47,991 Sweet outfit. 57 00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:52,045 Dick Tracy called, he said you're a butt-face and he's been ploughing your mum. 58 00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,297 Yeah, well, Dick Tracy called me too, first. 59 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:57,876 And he said he was about to call you and say a lie about me 60 00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:00,837 that was actually true about you, instead. 61 00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:02,807 Whatever. 62 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,845 What are you doing here, Trevor? 63 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:07,518 Shawn hacked the Judge's system, and we caught you cheating 64 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,846 getting your four little cockroaches to meet up. 65 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:13,604 What? You think we were just gonna sit around in the Bad Place blowin' beefers 66 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,311 while you're down on Earth boning us in the meat-hole? 67 00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:19,276 So, why didn't Shawn just go to the Judge and turn me in? 68 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,991 Because this way's more fun, knuckle-nuts! 69 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,363 First of all... 70 00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:26,909 I'm currently formulating a better comeback to your Dick Tracy burn 71 00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,789 and it's gonna devastate you. 72 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,450 Second, you're too late... 73 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,127 because when I did this experiment in my Neighbourhood 74 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:37,583 every time Eleanor asked Chidi for help, their bond became unbreakable 75 00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,876 and the entire group improved. 76 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,381 No, you're right. 77 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:45,966 There's no way I'll get one of these bozos to drop out of an unpaid 78 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,598 rigorous academic, study, especially when they're doing it with me... 79 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,805 their overeager new best friend. 80 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,140 Well, I should head back. You want to come with? 81 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,977 Oh, right, they've all seen you already 82 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,611 so you can't show your face to them again... 83 00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:02,361 so you're powerless to stop me. 84 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,366 Later days, dingus. 85 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:08,404 Dick Tracy called back, on his watch phone 86 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,490 and said you better watch out! 87 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,076 Shoot. A second too late. 88 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:18,670 OK, uh, Simone's gotta analyse the scans, so why don't the rest of you head home? 89 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:21,297 - Good first day, everyone. - Hey, Teach. Um... 90 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:23,798 do you think maybe... 91 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,640 we could continue the one-on-one lessons on the side? 92 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:30,517 I feel like, last week, I had my own personal ninja master 93 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:35,273 and now I'm taking tai chi with bunch of farting housewives. 94 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,440 Between the new project and my classes, I won't have time. 95 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:42,693 But this is way better! You're still gonna learn a lot 96 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,696 and you'll have a fun group of people to study with outside of class! 97 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,698 - But... - Hey, gang! 98 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,533 I just had a neat idea. 99 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,080 Let's all go sight seeing. 100 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,624 - Dope! - Yeah, we can check out Sydney 101 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,918 get to know each other, bond. 102 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,875 What do you say, E-Street Band, you up for a Segway tour of... 103 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,797 Australia, mate? 104 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:04,335 This is a knife, on the barbie. 105 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,049 Cool idea. 106 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,597 I'm just worried that maybe it's too cool. 107 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:12,723 I think I'm just gonna find the nearest bar, have one or eight drinks and hit the hay. 108 00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,182 Even better, we'll all go 109 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:16,104 "bend an elbow". 110 00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:19,775 Actually, I know the perfect place for homesick Americans! 111 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:23,738 Hi, dudes! 112 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,282 Welcome to the Cowboy Skyscraper Buffet! 113 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:30,783 Oh, hey, can we get the Florida table? They absolutely nail the swamp stench! 114 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,996 Aw, someone's seated there. 115 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:36,667 But if you purchase our "Manifest Destiny" package for 30 dollars 116 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,416 you can have anyone you want forcibly removed from the table. 117 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,921 We'll just sit anywhere. 118 00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,754 When your table's ready, this gun will go off! 119 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,677 I think... this is real. 120 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,058 So listen up, y'all. 121 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,436 I was so excited to join the group 122 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,890 that I made sweatshirts! 123 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,441 You get a sweatshirt. 124 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,276 You get a sweatshirt. 125 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,840 - You get a sweatshirt. - I get a sweatshirt. 126 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,025 The Brain-y Bunch. 127 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:07,198 Awesome! I love being on teams! 128 00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,321 And if we're on a team now, we need nicknames! 129 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:13,155 Optimus, Bumblebee, Jazz, uh... Megatron. 130 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:16,161 That's what you can each call me. Now we need nicknames for you guys. 131 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,125 Ah, this is the best! 132 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,249 I'm gonna get the first round and we are all gonna toast to Eleanor 133 00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:24,799 The reason we're all here! Yay, Eleanor! 134 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,469 Oh, well if you guys are celebrating, I recommend the jalapeño poppers. 135 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,379 Hi there, I'm Janet. 136 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,873 I'll be taking care of you tonight. 137 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,560 Can I get you started with some drinks? 138 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,855 Our specialty cocktail tonight is "The Fourth of July". 139 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,610 It's half an apple pie, blended with Southern Comfort and Coca Cola 140 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,440 served in a Chevy hubcap. 141 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,946 Why don't you just go get us a round of beers? 142 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,323 Of course. Here you go... 143 00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:53,612 Sorry... I... will... 144 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,992 go... physically... pick those up... 145 00:06:56,625 --> 00:07:00,995 I guess, and... then walk them back here with my feet. 146 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,580 But just so you know, I will be here all night. 147 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,957 Watching everything... 148 00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:08,926 that... you... order. 149 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,966 So, Ellie Baby. Brainstorm. We should get a house! 150 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:19,729 Me, you, Tahani, Jason, we should all go in together on a place! 151 00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,726 - Roomies! - Roomies! 152 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,190 That is... 153 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:25,563 technically an idea. 154 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:28,067 I think it would be "supes" fun. We could play pranks 155 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,446 - on each other for my vlog. - No. 156 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,398 We could do one of those ice bucket challenges 157 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:32,720 - that I sent you. - I don't think so. 158 00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:34,360 - Not! - Or maybe just a Harlem Shake? 159 00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,903 I like to cook. 160 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,767 And I have been dying to experiment - Please stop. 161 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,393 - ...with Jamaican food, man. - Please stop now! 162 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:40,703 I like-a Jamaican food. 163 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:43,293 Listen to the reggae and smoke da joint. 164 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,996 That's a Jamaican accent. 165 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,084 Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! 166 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,136 Hey, how's it going? 167 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:54,889 Not good, Michael. I don't have my powers. I can't summon things. 168 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,716 Dictionary. Spaghetti. 169 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,059 Jet-ski. Giraffe. Gah! 170 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,636 Look what I've been reduced to! 171 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,055 Humans only live 80 years 172 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:05,266 and they spend so much of it just waiting for things to be over. 173 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,067 I'm all out of sorts down here, too. 174 00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:10,071 I'm bad at lying now. That used to be my thing! 175 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:13,324 And every part of my body is either too dry or too wet. 176 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:14,776 It's worse for me, man! 177 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:18,993 Ever since we walked through that portal, my knowledge has stopped updating. 178 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,872 The instant before we left 179 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,702 a man in Caracas, Venezuela named Raul Benitez 180 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,707 was eating a ham sandwich. 181 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:29,165 Did he finish it? I don't know and it's making me crazy! 182 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:30,625 - I gotta find him. - Janet! 183 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,798 Focus on the mission! 184 00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:35,379 We have to get Trevor away from the humans. 185 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:40,722 I am so glad you came out with us, man! 186 00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:43,512 I just assumed you would think it's unprofessional to be friends 187 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:44,892 with the subjects of your study. 188 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,477 No, I never thought that. 189 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,727 I mean, I... I kind of do now. 190 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,524 Should I not be socialising? 191 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,364 I'm sure it's fine. I mean, how much harm could it possibly do. 192 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:55,701 Good point. 193 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,409 Such a good point, that I'm gonna go think about how good a point that is 194 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,785 over there, by myself, for several minutes. Excuse me. 195 00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:05,997 Hey, "El-Train"... 196 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:09,630 you think with all these new Star Wars movies they'll finally make a new Spaceballs? 197 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,299 I'm sorry, I'm getting a text, and I have to take this. 198 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,467 OK, everybody... 199 00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,879 here are your beers 200 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:20,262 and here is yours. Oh no! 201 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:21,346 Oh... 202 00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:24,554 I guess you should go to the bathroom, or maybe go home and never come back. 203 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,472 No worries. I made extra sweatshirts! 204 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,982 Besides, we're having too much fun to leave. 205 00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:32,862 Hey, speaking of fun, I know this super-fun drinking game we can play. 206 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:37,362 Every time one of you says something that the other can't relate to 207 00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:38,568 you both drink. 208 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:42,120 Could be fun. I once played a drinking game with Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively 209 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,618 at their macrobiotic farm 210 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:47,915 with a particularly robust batch of homemade kombucha. 211 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:50,542 Do I have to drink for every word I don't know? 212 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,544 Up to you. Just drink. 213 00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:55,092 Ooh, hey, what happened with Chidi 214 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,252 and where's Eleanor? 215 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,463 This... this... this is all moving too fast! 216 00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:00,131 Can we just take Trevor out? 217 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,995 I don't know if he can die, but I could drop a steamroller on his head. 218 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:05,181 Oh, darn it! I can't summon things! 219 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,973 I guess I could kick him with my soft feet? 220 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,433 - Earth sucks! - You stay on Trevor. 221 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,309 Keep interfering with his plan, alright? 222 00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:16,022 I'm gonna do my librarian act and nudge Chidi back to the table. 223 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,280 Oh! Yummy! 224 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,987 You gotta relax, man, you're off the clock. 225 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,822 It's just a simple drink with friends 226 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,410 at the world's worst restaurant. 227 00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,083 No, but Trevor's right. 228 00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:31,253 I might skew the study by fraternising with the subjects. 229 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,420 We can be colleagues. 230 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,422 "Associates" is pushing it. 231 00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:38,298 And by even having this conversation, you're becoming my confidant! 232 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,962 I can't have that. 233 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:44,721 Geez, I kinda thought that before everyone else showed up, you and I were... 234 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,265 like becoming actual friends. 235 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,397 Oh no, you're right! What have I done? 236 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:54,355 OK, OK. I... I'm gonna go... to the bar and get you a hot tea. 237 00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,528 - OK. - Or a regular-temperature Xanax. 238 00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,697 - Mm. - Try not to fall apart. 239 00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,076 Professor Anagonye! 240 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,452 Oh, yeah, I thought I recognised you. 241 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,864 It's me, the librarian, from the library. 242 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,995 Oh, right. Hi! 243 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:12,453 Sorry, uh... I was just kind of in the middle of something here. 244 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,996 Well, maybe I can help. 245 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,715 You know what I like to do in situations like these? 246 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,801 I haven't told you anything about what I'm going through. 247 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,130 Do that first. 248 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,465 Then I'll tell you what I'd do in situations 249 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,346 such as the one you're about to describe. 250 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,927 I've been in every situation. 251 00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:29,512 Cos I'm a librarian. 252 00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,064 Hit me, go ahead. 253 00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,982 - Mm... - Ah-la-la-la. 254 00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:35,688 I'm tired. 255 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,645 Does anybody want a gallon of water 256 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,425 - to sober up? - No thanks, sweetheart. 257 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,441 I just called a car for these two lovebirds. 258 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,526 So why don't you just bring us the cheque? 259 00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:46,195 Oh, and you should smile more... 260 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,658 you'll get bigger tips. 261 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,413 - Gosh, you're pretty. - No. 262 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:52,544 You're pretty. 263 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,586 Pretty beautiful. 264 00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:57,168 If you ask me, Chidi... 265 00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,710 you need to get back over there, you know, spend time with the team. 266 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:03,425 Though we do have a saying in the library game. 267 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:06,507 Uh... "There's only room for one male subject 268 00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:07,933 in an academic study. 269 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,685 So keep the one who got there first". 270 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,723 - Catchy. - Gotta go now. 271 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,183 Closest thing I could find to herbal tea was a root beer 272 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,984 I had them throw in the microwave. 273 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,861 Dou know what? Don't drink that! 274 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,675 I think I'm just gonna head home. 275 00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,499 But you can go and spend time with the others. 276 00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:26,402 Yeah, man, that's not really what I signed up for. 277 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:27,828 I mean, Tahani is... meh. 278 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,496 But Jason, woof! 279 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,073 And Trevor... urgh! 280 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:34,205 They're not the reason I flew all the way from Arizona. 281 00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:36,961 - You are. - I'm sorry. 282 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,664 Uh... but this is just... 283 00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:40,550 how it has to be. 284 00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,835 I'll, uh... I'll see you tomorrow. 285 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,673 Hey, E-dog, get over here. 286 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,223 It's trivia night. 287 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,681 First round questions are all about Logan Paul 288 00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,804 and you know I'm Lo-gang for life. 289 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:54,959 Go put your head up your own butt. 290 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,019 - What? - What? 291 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,067 What? 292 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,989 Oh, don't you butt-necks ever give up? 293 00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:07,576 No, and what are you even doing in a bathroom? You're a demon, you don't... 294 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,366 - need it. - I like the smells. 295 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,288 And I like putting my hands in the toilet 296 00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:14,662 so everything I touch gets a little bit of poop on it. 297 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,793 Hey, you guys see what I did out there? 298 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:21,128 I am so good, I got Eleanor to leave a bar... early! 299 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:24,335 Chidi's melting down, Jason and Tahani just left together. 300 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,967 If they hook up, she's on the first private jet out of here. 301 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,426 This was too easy! 302 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,054 Gonna take a lot more than that to break up this group. 303 00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:33,351 Why don't you give up, Trevor? 304 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:36,306 As long as we're here, you'll never succeed. 305 00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:38,140 Maybe, but how long will that take? 306 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,191 I mean, at some point the Judge will find out 307 00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,518 that you're not in your little room watching ticker tape. 308 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,230 Right? Tick, tick, tick, tick. 309 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,864 But hey, may the worst demon win. 310 00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,410 Good luck, Mikey. 311 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,740 - Ha, poop hands! - Oh! 312 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,663 I can't believe you fell for that! 313 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,162 Are you alright? You didn't sleep at all last night. 314 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,464 Yeah, I got a solid eight minutes. 315 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,883 Not consecutively, but still. It's fine! 316 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:06,752 You're not even that blurry. 317 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,136 You gotta take it easy, man. 318 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,423 I mean, you're not sleeping. Your eye is twitching. 319 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,929 This study has to be airtight. 320 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:16,061 And this ethical question of friendship 321 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:18,062 with the subjects is weighing on me. 322 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,501 I've done a million of these things. 323 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,767 I promise I'll warn you if you cross any lines. 324 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,979 I don't want to come anywhere near those lines! 325 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:29,153 I have been waiting my entire career for the right thesis 326 00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:30,984 and I am not going to blow it. 327 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,328 I have to keep this professional. 328 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,035 Fine. But you need to get some rest. 329 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:37,496 This morning you bit into a raw egg like it was an apple. 330 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,580 I thought it was hard boiled. 331 00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,412 Yeah, but still the shell. 332 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,832 This is the best secret friend handshake, bro. 333 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,045 And it goes... 334 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,590 Attention everyone, do not look at me! 335 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,050 Oh, I don't... don't know what to do. 336 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:54,433 I am both over hung and humiliated 337 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,844 by my uncouth comportment last night. 338 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,479 Please accept these formal letters of apology. 339 00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,773 Further apologies for their appearance. 340 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,602 I just couldn't find a proper calligrapher at five in the morning. 341 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:07,397 So what happened to you two love birds last night, huh? 342 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,823 - Frankly, it is none of your business. - Uh, sorry. 343 00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:12,785 Jason was a perfect gentleman last night. 344 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,989 Thank you so much for getting me home safely. 345 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:20,284 I wouldn't blame you, should you ostracise me for my boorish behaviour. 346 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,043 You weren't boring, you were fun. 347 00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:26,006 Crazy story. After you got into the cab, I forgot where I lived 348 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,926 but then I looked across the street and there was a motel. 349 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,554 And behind that there was a dumpster. I slept in a dumpster. 350 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,761 - Jason! - No, no, no, it was fine. 351 00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:38,177 And it was super fun getting to know you. 352 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,183 You're the fanciest person I know. 353 00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:42,223 Next to my friend Ronnie, who drives a limo. 354 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:43,894 He's in limos all the time. 355 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,730 Oh, what a life. 356 00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:49,188 Right. As soon as Eleanor gets here, we'll begin. 357 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,695 Bad news, prof, Eleanor might not be coming. 358 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,734 She bailed right after you did last night. 359 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:57,746 Seemed like she was having second thoughts about being part of the brainy bunch, so... 360 00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,535 Oh, well that's disappointing. 361 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:00,741 In... in terms of... 362 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:02,871 how it affects the study, but... 363 00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:05,830 we press on, like professionals. 364 00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:14,630 - Hey, do you think I should... - Yeah. 365 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,994 And I already called you a car because you should not drive. 366 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,850 - It's outside. - Thanks. 367 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:24,390 Where's outside? 368 00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:32,777 Hey, man. 369 00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:37,611 Are you OK? 370 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:41,240 Sorry, uh, literally one second ago 371 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:45,369 I was at the front desk. Uh, don't know where I got this. 372 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,338 Anyway, are you coming to class? 373 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,460 I just don't think the group thing is for me. 374 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,135 I'm better when it's one-on-one 375 00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:58,098 and we're both looking at our phones and I don't know the other person 376 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:01,143 and we don't talk. I might just head back to Arizona. 377 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,262 L... listen. 378 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:09,022 My whole life has been a... a torture chamber of indecision 379 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:12,529 and now I'm finally on the path to understanding why 380 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,987 and the only reason that's happening is because you walked into my office 381 00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:18,326 and you said you wanted to be a better person. 382 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:19,778 That was really brave. 383 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:24,742 Now, I know we barely know each other but... please could you give me three months? 384 00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:29,126 Can you give me three months? I am asking you as a friend. 385 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,332 See, I just told you I don't like talking. 386 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:35,757 That whole thing could have been sent in a text that I pretended I never saw. 387 00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:41,766 Fine. You did good at talking. I'll come back to class. 388 00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:46,389 Come in. No? 389 00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,148 - I'm gonna drive you back. - OK. 390 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,063 Hey. 391 00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,065 Hey, Dick Tracy called... 392 00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:57,484 said that I was right about Eleanor and Chidi having an unbreakable bond. 393 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,471 I don't think you understand how that joke works. 394 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:02,329 Yeah, that doesn't matter. We won, that's the point. 395 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:05,411 You won squat. We're gonna get 'em eventually. 396 00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:08,335 I'll just keep chipping away till one of 'em bails. 397 00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:11,500 These four humans are all I care about in the universe 398 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:14,007 and there is nothing, I mean nothing 399 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,584 that's gonna come between me... 400 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,885 Oh, cool. You're all together. 401 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,094 The Judge wants to see you. 402 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,509 Now? Right now? 403 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,971 - Um, like all of us or... - Yep. 404 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,023 So this is Earth, huh? 405 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,519 Whoo! Pretty cool. 406 00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:48,833 Michael, how many times did I say you could go down to Earth? 407 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:52,083 - Actually, you weren't 100% explicit... - One time! 408 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,211 I said you could go down there, save their lives 409 00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:59,219 start the new time line and then come back here to observe them. 410 00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:00,341 One time! 411 00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,973 Is what I said. Un o! 412 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:05,267 One! 413 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:09,980 Your Honour, I have to say, I support you one "hundo" percent. 414 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,059 I mean, what Michael did is unbelievable. 415 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,486 Now, granted, I also tricked the Doorman and snuck down to Earth 416 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,859 but what are we gonna do... 417 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,116 Do you realise what you did? 418 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,910 You meddled in human affairs. 419 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,238 That ripples out, man. 420 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:30,204 Do you know how much weird stuff has happened because of your little experiment? 421 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,493 England left Europe. 422 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:34,830 That Hugh Jackman musical about P. T. Barnham... 423 00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:36,839 it made like 400 million dollars. 424 00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:40,712 Also, the Jacksonville Jaguars are good now! 425 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:42,012 Impossible! 426 00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:44,218 I ' m se ri ous! They're gonna make the playoffs. 427 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:47,259 Blake Bortles is kind of OK... 428 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,346 Maybe? I don't know, it's being debated amongst experts. 429 00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:54,183 It's confusing. But whatever it is, it's yo' fault! 430 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,439 Your experiment with the humans is over. 431 00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:58,228 - Are you gonna kill them? - No. 432 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,314 But starting now... 433 00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,524 there is no more monitoring them. 434 00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:06,278 They're just regular humans that need to hit the regular point threshold 435 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,849 to see if they make it into the Good Place. 436 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,284 - Hm... - And if they don't... 437 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:20,425 And right now, the two of you are going back to the Bad Place. 438 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:21,755 But they'll retire Michael. 439 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,507 And I'll be marbleised! 440 00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:26,180 Well, maybe you should have thought about that 441 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:29,514 before you intervened in human affairs! 442 00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:33,605 I mean, because of you, Byron Allen owns The Weather Channel now. 443 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,518 - Is-is that bad? - I don't know, but it's weird, man! 444 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:40,104 Now, come with me. 445 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,489 Hey, my powers are back online. 446 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,887 This must be everything I tried to summon on Earth. 447 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,946 - Stop it! - I don't think I can. I'm like a printer 448 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:53,242 when the print queue suddenly starts processing all the unprinted documents... 449 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,578 Oh, man! Buckle up, folks. 450 00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:03,464 Let's go. Right now! 451 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:04,763 Jan et! 452 00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:07,972 Make it stop! Janet, stop it! 453 00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:10,429 Janet, this is annoying! 454 00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:12,729 Jan et! 455 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:16,101 Good luck, frog man. I'm pulling for ya. 456 00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,162 Janet, I know you're still there. 457 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:28,778 - They escaped. - Yeah. Thanks, Jeff. 34423

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