Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:07,960
Michael, a demon has infiltrated
the group.
2
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,216
Not just any demon.
3
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:14,346
Trevor is a diabolical, sadistic
agent of evil.
4
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:18,391
Might just be the single most dangerous
creature in the universe.
5
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,720
Who wants lemon bars?
6
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,973
It's my nana's recipe
and they are just sinful.
7
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,938
Love 'em on my lips but hate 'em on my hips,
if you know what I mean.
8
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,520
Alright, new guy, comin' in strong
with free dessert.
9
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:33,948
You must be Eleanor, the reason
this is all happening.
10
00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,739
I am. That's so nice to hear someone say
11
00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:38,598
"Eleanor, you're the reason
this is all happening"
12
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,363
who isn't a judge in small claims court.
13
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,407
Thank you for this, Eleanor.
14
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,743
It's a wonderful thing you've done.
15
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,037
Mm... Happy to help you out, buddy.
16
00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:49,255
Oh, we're doing a long hug!
17
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,212
- Are you crying?
- I'm sorry, I...
18
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:56,095
God, I'm just so happy to be here,
if that makes sense.
19
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,806
OK, the five of us narrowly avoided death.
20
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,217
The operating theory
21
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,510
of this experiment is that...
22
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:12,062
So, I give them ethics problems
and we scan their brains
23
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,272
and we get a sense
of their baseline moral instincts.
24
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,819
Right. Then I'll show them pictures
25
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,012
that trigger memories
of their near-death experiences.
26
00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:20,779
We'll scan again,
and see if we get a different result.
27
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:24,790
For example, I'll show Jason
pictures of: a safe...
28
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,460
a snorkel, and whip-it canisters.
29
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:31,339
Got it. Also, what a grim death
that would've been.
30
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,046
Darling, do you remember all the rules
about what can
31
00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:36,128
and cannot be worn inside an MRI?
32
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:40,215
More specifically,
what if one's brassiere is very thin
33
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,218
but also very pure... gold.
34
00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:46,721
I dunno but I'm in a similar "situ-aysh"
35
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:49,774
because the sports bra I'm wearing
is kind of rust-coloured
36
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:53,274
underneath the armpits, so I guess
we'll roll the dice together.
37
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,363
Hey, Eleanor, do I have
the right phone number for you?
38
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,534
You haven't responded
to any of the dank memes I've sent!
39
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,031
Oh, yeah, I...
40
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,613
cos I was laughing too hard to reply.
41
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:06,662
OK, what's your "fave?"
Cos mine's "Damn, Daniel!"
42
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,952
"Back at it again with the white Vans!"
43
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,958
- Should we get started maybe?
- Oh, Mrs Teacher...
44
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,961
for my turn, is there any way to get like...
45
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:18,886
- extra radiation?
- There is no radiation in an MRI.
46
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,055
- But why do you ask?
- Uh, no reason.
47
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,804
Jason, what have you got
in your hand there, bud?
48
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,681
- Nothing.
- Is it a spider?
49
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,729
- Yes.
- Do you think taking a spider
50
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,228
in an MRI machine
will give you super powers?
51
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,651
Hey, it might work. He already bit me
a bunch of times
52
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,028
and gave me the power to swell up my hand!
53
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,071
- Oh, my God!
- What?
54
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,578
- Trevor.
- Hey, Mikey, fancy seeing you down on Earth
55
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,497
completely illegally.
56
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:47,991
Sweet outfit.
57
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:52,045
Dick Tracy called, he said you're a butt-face
and he's been ploughing your mum.
58
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,297
Yeah, well, Dick Tracy called me too, first.
59
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:57,876
And he said he was about to call you
and say a lie about me
60
00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:00,837
that was actually true about you, instead.
61
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:02,807
Whatever.
62
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,845
What are you doing here, Trevor?
63
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:07,518
Shawn hacked the Judge's system,
and we caught you cheating
64
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,846
getting your four little cockroaches
to meet up.
65
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:13,604
What? You think we were just gonna sit
around in the Bad Place blowin' beefers
66
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,311
while you're down on Earth
boning us in the meat-hole?
67
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:19,276
So, why didn't Shawn just go
to the Judge and turn me in?
68
00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,991
Because this way's more fun, knuckle-nuts!
69
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,363
First of all...
70
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:26,909
I'm currently formulating a better comeback
to your Dick Tracy burn
71
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,789
and it's gonna devastate you.
72
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,450
Second, you're too late...
73
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,127
because when I did this experiment
in my Neighbourhood
74
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:37,583
every time Eleanor asked Chidi for help,
their bond became unbreakable
75
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,876
and the entire group improved.
76
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,381
No, you're right.
77
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:45,966
There's no way I'll get one of these bozos
to drop out of an unpaid
78
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,598
rigorous academic, study, especially
when they're doing it with me...
79
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,805
their overeager new best friend.
80
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,140
Well, I should head back.
You want to come with?
81
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,977
Oh, right, they've all seen you already
82
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,611
so you can't show your face to them again...
83
00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:02,361
so you're powerless to stop me.
84
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,366
Later days, dingus.
85
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:08,404
Dick Tracy called back, on his watch phone
86
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,490
and said you better watch out!
87
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,076
Shoot. A second too late.
88
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:18,670
OK, uh, Simone's gotta analyse the scans,
so why don't the rest of you head home?
89
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:21,297
- Good first day, everyone.
- Hey, Teach. Um...
90
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:23,798
do you think maybe...
91
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,640
we could continue the one-on-one lessons
on the side?
92
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:30,517
I feel like, last week, I had my own
personal ninja master
93
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:35,273
and now I'm taking tai chi
with bunch of farting housewives.
94
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,440
Between the new project and my classes,
I won't have time.
95
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:42,693
But this is way better!
You're still gonna learn a lot
96
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,696
and you'll have a fun group of people
to study with outside of class!
97
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,698
- But...
- Hey, gang!
98
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,533
I just had a neat idea.
99
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,080
Let's all go sight seeing.
100
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,624
- Dope!
- Yeah, we can check out Sydney
101
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,918
get to know each other, bond.
102
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,875
What do you say, E-Street Band,
you up for a Segway tour of...
103
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,797
Australia, mate?
104
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:04,335
This is a knife, on the barbie.
105
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,049
Cool idea.
106
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,597
I'm just worried that maybe
it's too cool.
107
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:12,723
I think I'm just gonna find the nearest bar,
have one or eight drinks and hit the hay.
108
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,182
Even better, we'll all go
109
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:16,104
"bend an elbow".
110
00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:19,775
Actually, I know the perfect place
for homesick Americans!
111
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:23,738
Hi, dudes!
112
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,282
Welcome to the Cowboy
Skyscraper Buffet!
113
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:30,783
Oh, hey, can we get the Florida table?
They absolutely nail the swamp stench!
114
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,996
Aw, someone's seated there.
115
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:36,667
But if you purchase our "Manifest Destiny"
package for 30 dollars
116
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,416
you can have anyone you want
forcibly removed from the table.
117
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,921
We'll just sit anywhere.
118
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,754
When your table's ready,
this gun will go off!
119
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,677
I think... this is real.
120
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,058
So listen up, y'all.
121
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,436
I was so excited to join the group
122
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,890
that I made sweatshirts!
123
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,441
You get a sweatshirt.
124
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,276
You get a sweatshirt.
125
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,840
- You get a sweatshirt.
- I get a sweatshirt.
126
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,025
The Brain-y Bunch.
127
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:07,198
Awesome! I love being on teams!
128
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,321
And if we're on a
team now, we need nicknames!
129
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:13,155
Optimus, Bumblebee, Jazz, uh...
Megatron.
130
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:16,161
That's what you can each call me.
Now we need nicknames for you guys.
131
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,125
Ah, this is the best!
132
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,249
I'm gonna get the first round
and we are all gonna toast to Eleanor
133
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:24,799
The reason we're all here! Yay, Eleanor!
134
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,469
Oh, well if you guys are celebrating,
I recommend the jalapeño poppers.
135
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,379
Hi there, I'm Janet.
136
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,873
I'll be taking care of you tonight.
137
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,560
Can I get you started with some drinks?
138
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,855
Our specialty cocktail tonight
is "The Fourth of July".
139
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,610
It's half an apple pie, blended
with Southern Comfort and Coca Cola
140
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,440
served in a Chevy hubcap.
141
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,946
Why don't you just go get us
a round of beers?
142
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,323
Of course. Here you go...
143
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:53,612
Sorry... I... will...
144
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,992
go... physically... pick those up...
145
00:06:56,625 --> 00:07:00,995
I guess, and... then walk them
back here with my feet.
146
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,580
But just so you know,
I will be here all night.
147
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,957
Watching everything...
148
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:08,926
that... you... order.
149
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,966
So, Ellie Baby. Brainstorm.
We should get a house!
150
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:19,729
Me, you, Tahani, Jason,
we should all go in together on a place!
151
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,726
- Roomies!
- Roomies!
152
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,190
That is...
153
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:25,563
technically an idea.
154
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:28,067
I think it would be "supes" fun.
We could play pranks
155
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,446
- on each other for my vlog.
- No.
156
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,398
We could do one of those
ice bucket challenges
157
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:32,720
- that I sent you.
- I don't think so.
158
00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:34,360
- Not!
- Or maybe just a Harlem Shake?
159
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,903
I like to cook.
160
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,767
And I have been dying to experiment
- Please stop.
161
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,393
- ...with Jamaican food, man.
- Please stop now!
162
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:40,703
I like-a Jamaican food.
163
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:43,293
Listen to the reggae and smoke da joint.
164
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,996
That's a Jamaican accent.
165
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,084
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on!
166
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,136
Hey, how's it going?
167
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:54,889
Not good, Michael. I don't have my powers.
I can't summon things.
168
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,716
Dictionary. Spaghetti.
169
00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,059
Jet-ski. Giraffe. Gah!
170
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,636
Look what I've been reduced to!
171
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,055
Humans only live 80 years
172
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:05,266
and they spend so much of it
just waiting for things to be over.
173
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,067
I'm all out of sorts down here, too.
174
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:10,071
I'm bad at lying now.
That used to be my thing!
175
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:13,324
And every part of my body is either
too dry or too wet.
176
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:14,776
It's worse for me, man!
177
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:18,993
Ever since we walked through that portal,
my knowledge has stopped updating.
178
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,872
The instant before we left
179
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,702
a man in Caracas, Venezuela
named Raul Benitez
180
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,707
was eating a ham sandwich.
181
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:29,165
Did he finish it? I don't know
and it's making me crazy!
182
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:30,625
- I gotta find him.
- Janet!
183
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,798
Focus on the mission!
184
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:35,379
We have to get Trevor away from the humans.
185
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:40,722
I am so glad you came out with us, man!
186
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:43,512
I just assumed you would think it's
unprofessional to be friends
187
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:44,892
with the subjects of your study.
188
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,477
No, I never thought that.
189
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,727
I mean, I... I kind of do now.
190
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,524
Should I not be socialising?
191
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,364
I'm sure it's fine. I mean,
how much harm could it possibly do.
192
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:55,701
Good point.
193
00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,409
Such a good point, that I'm gonna go think
about how good a point that is
194
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,785
over there, by myself,
for several minutes. Excuse me.
195
00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:05,997
Hey, "El-Train"...
196
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:09,630
you think with all these new Star Wars movies
they'll finally make a new Spaceballs?
197
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,299
I'm sorry, I'm getting a text,
and I have to take this.
198
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,467
OK, everybody...
199
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,879
here are your beers
200
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:20,262
and here is yours. Oh no!
201
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:21,346
Oh...
202
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:24,554
I guess you should go to the bathroom,
or maybe go home and never come back.
203
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,472
No worries. I made extra sweatshirts!
204
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,982
Besides, we're having too much fun to leave.
205
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:32,862
Hey, speaking of fun, I know this super-fun
drinking game we can play.
206
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:37,362
Every time one of you says something
that the other can't relate to
207
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:38,568
you both drink.
208
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:42,120
Could be fun. I once played a drinking game
with Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively
209
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,618
at their macrobiotic farm
210
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:47,915
with a particularly robust batch
of homemade kombucha.
211
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:50,542
Do I have to drink for every word
I don't know?
212
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,544
Up to you. Just drink.
213
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:55,092
Ooh, hey, what happened with Chidi
214
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,252
and where's Eleanor?
215
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,463
This... this... this is all moving too fast!
216
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:00,131
Can we just take Trevor out?
217
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,995
I don't know if he can die, but I could drop
a steamroller on his head.
218
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:05,181
Oh, darn it! I can't summon things!
219
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,973
I guess I could kick him with my soft feet?
220
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,433
- Earth sucks!
- You stay on Trevor.
221
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,309
Keep interfering with his plan, alright?
222
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:16,022
I'm gonna do my librarian act
and nudge Chidi back to the table.
223
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,280
Oh! Yummy!
224
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,987
You gotta relax, man, you're off the clock.
225
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,822
It's just a simple drink with friends
226
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,410
at the world's worst restaurant.
227
00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,083
No, but Trevor's right.
228
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:31,253
I might skew the study
by fraternising with the subjects.
229
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,420
We can be colleagues.
230
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,422
"Associates" is pushing it.
231
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:38,298
And by even having this conversation,
you're becoming my confidant!
232
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,962
I can't have that.
233
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:44,721
Geez, I kinda thought that before everyone
else showed up, you and I were...
234
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,265
like becoming actual friends.
235
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,397
Oh no, you're right! What have I done?
236
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:54,355
OK, OK. I... I'm gonna go...
to the bar and get you a hot tea.
237
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,528
- OK.
- Or a regular-temperature Xanax.
238
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,697
- Mm.
- Try not to fall apart.
239
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,076
Professor Anagonye!
240
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,452
Oh, yeah, I thought I recognised you.
241
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,864
It's me, the librarian, from the library.
242
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,995
Oh, right. Hi!
243
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:12,453
Sorry, uh... I was just kind of
in the middle of something here.
244
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,996
Well, maybe I can help.
245
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,715
You know what I like to do
in situations like these?
246
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,801
I haven't told you anything
about what I'm going through.
247
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,130
Do that first.
248
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,465
Then I'll tell you
what I'd do in situations
249
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,346
such as the one you're about to describe.
250
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,927
I've been in every situation.
251
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:29,512
Cos I'm a librarian.
252
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,064
Hit me, go ahead.
253
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,982
- Mm...
- Ah-la-la-la.
254
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:35,688
I'm tired.
255
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,645
Does anybody want a gallon of water
256
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,425
- to sober up?
- No thanks, sweetheart.
257
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,441
I just called a car for these two lovebirds.
258
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,526
So why don't you just bring us the cheque?
259
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:46,195
Oh, and you should smile more...
260
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,658
you'll get bigger tips.
261
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,413
- Gosh, you're pretty.
- No.
262
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:52,544
You're pretty.
263
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,586
Pretty beautiful.
264
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:57,168
If you ask me, Chidi...
265
00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,710
you need to get back over there, you know,
spend time with the team.
266
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:03,425
Though we do have a saying
in the library game.
267
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:06,507
Uh... "There's only room
for one male subject
268
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:07,933
in an academic study.
269
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,685
So keep the one who got there first".
270
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,723
- Catchy.
- Gotta go now.
271
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,183
Closest thing I could find to herbal tea
was a root beer
272
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,984
I had them throw in the microwave.
273
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,861
Dou know what? Don't drink that!
274
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,675
I think I'm just gonna head home.
275
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,499
But you can go and spend time
with the others.
276
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:26,402
Yeah, man, that's not really
what I signed up for.
277
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:27,828
I mean, Tahani is... meh.
278
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,496
But Jason, woof!
279
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,073
And Trevor... urgh!
280
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:34,205
They're not the reason I flew
all the way from Arizona.
281
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:36,961
- You are.
- I'm sorry.
282
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,664
Uh... but this is just...
283
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:40,550
how it has to be.
284
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,835
I'll, uh... I'll see you tomorrow.
285
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,673
Hey, E-dog, get over here.
286
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,223
It's trivia night.
287
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,681
First round questions are
all about Logan Paul
288
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,804
and you know I'm Lo-gang for life.
289
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:54,959
Go put your head up your own butt.
290
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,019
- What?
- What?
291
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,067
What?
292
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,989
Oh, don't you butt-necks ever give up?
293
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:07,576
No, and what are you even doing in a
bathroom? You're a demon, you don't...
294
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,366
- need it.
- I like the smells.
295
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,288
And I like putting my hands in the toilet
296
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:14,662
so everything I touch gets a little bit
of poop on it.
297
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,793
Hey, you guys see what I did out there?
298
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:21,128
I am so good, I got Eleanor
to leave a bar... early!
299
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:24,335
Chidi's melting down,
Jason and Tahani just left together.
300
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,967
If they hook up, she's on the first
private jet out of here.
301
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,426
This was too easy!
302
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,054
Gonna take a lot more than that
to break up this group.
303
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:33,351
Why don't you give up, Trevor?
304
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:36,306
As long as we're here,
you'll never succeed.
305
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:38,140
Maybe, but how long will
that take?
306
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,191
I mean, at some point
the Judge will find out
307
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,518
that you're not in your little room
watching ticker tape.
308
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,230
Right? Tick, tick, tick, tick.
309
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,864
But hey, may the worst demon win.
310
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,410
Good luck, Mikey.
311
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,740
- Ha, poop hands!
- Oh!
312
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,663
I can't believe you fell for that!
313
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,162
Are you alright?
You didn't sleep at all last night.
314
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,464
Yeah, I got a solid eight minutes.
315
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,883
Not consecutively,
but still. It's fine!
316
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:06,752
You're not even that blurry.
317
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,136
You gotta take it easy, man.
318
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,423
I mean, you're not sleeping.
Your eye is twitching.
319
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,929
This study has to be airtight.
320
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:16,061
And this ethical question of friendship
321
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:18,062
with the subjects is weighing on me.
322
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,501
I've done a million of these things.
323
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,767
I promise I'll warn you
if you cross any lines.
324
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,979
I don't want to come anywhere near
those lines!
325
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:29,153
I have been waiting my entire career
for the right thesis
326
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:30,984
and I am not going to blow it.
327
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,328
I have to keep this professional.
328
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,035
Fine. But you need to get some rest.
329
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:37,496
This morning you bit into a raw egg
like it was an apple.
330
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,580
I thought it was hard boiled.
331
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,412
Yeah, but still the shell.
332
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,832
This is the best secret friend
handshake, bro.
333
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,045
And it goes...
334
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,590
Attention everyone, do not look at me!
335
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,050
Oh, I don't... don't know
what to do.
336
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:54,433
I am both over hung and humiliated
337
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,844
by my uncouth comportment
last night.
338
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,479
Please accept
these formal letters of apology.
339
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,773
Further apologies for their appearance.
340
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,602
I just couldn't find a proper calligrapher
at five in the morning.
341
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:07,397
So what happened to you two love birds
last night, huh?
342
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,823
- Frankly, it is none of your business.
- Uh, sorry.
343
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:12,785
Jason was a perfect gentleman last night.
344
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,989
Thank you so much
for getting me home safely.
345
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:20,284
I wouldn't blame you, should you
ostracise me for my boorish behaviour.
346
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,043
You weren't boring, you were fun.
347
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:26,006
Crazy story. After you got into the cab,
I forgot where I lived
348
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,926
but then I looked across the street
and there was a motel.
349
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,554
And behind that there was a dumpster.
I slept in a dumpster.
350
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,761
- Jason!
- No, no, no, it was fine.
351
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:38,177
And it was super fun getting to know you.
352
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,183
You're the fanciest person I know.
353
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:42,223
Next to my friend Ronnie, who drives a limo.
354
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:43,894
He's in limos all the time.
355
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,730
Oh, what a life.
356
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:49,188
Right. As soon as Eleanor gets here,
we'll begin.
357
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,695
Bad news, prof, Eleanor might not be coming.
358
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,734
She bailed right after you did last night.
359
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:57,746
Seemed like she was having second thoughts
about being part of the brainy bunch, so...
360
00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,535
Oh, well that's disappointing.
361
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:00,741
In... in terms of...
362
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:02,871
how it affects the study, but...
363
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:05,830
we press on, like professionals.
364
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:14,630
- Hey, do you think I should...
- Yeah.
365
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,994
And I already called you a car
because you should not drive.
366
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,850
- It's outside.
- Thanks.
367
00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:24,390
Where's outside?
368
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:32,777
Hey, man.
369
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:37,611
Are you OK?
370
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:41,240
Sorry, uh, literally one second ago
371
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:45,369
I was at the front desk.
Uh, don't know where I got this.
372
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,338
Anyway, are you coming to class?
373
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,460
I just don't think
the group thing is for me.
374
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,135
I'm better when it's one-on-one
375
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:58,098
and we're both looking at our phones
and I don't know the other person
376
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:01,143
and we don't talk.
I might just head back to Arizona.
377
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,262
L... listen.
378
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:09,022
My whole life has been a...
a torture chamber of indecision
379
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:12,529
and now I'm finally on the path
to understanding why
380
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,987
and the only reason that's happening
is because you walked into my office
381
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:18,326
and you said you wanted
to be a better person.
382
00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:19,778
That was really brave.
383
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:24,742
Now, I know we barely know each other but...
please could you give me three months?
384
00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:29,126
Can you give me three months?
I am asking you as a friend.
385
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,332
See, I just told you I don't like talking.
386
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:35,757
That whole thing could have been sent
in a text that I pretended I never saw.
387
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:41,766
Fine. You did good at talking.
I'll come back to class.
388
00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:46,389
Come in. No?
389
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,148
- I'm gonna drive you back.
- OK.
390
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,063
Hey.
391
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,065
Hey, Dick Tracy called...
392
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:57,484
said that I was right about Eleanor
and Chidi having an unbreakable bond.
393
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,471
I don't think you understand
how that joke works.
394
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:02,329
Yeah, that doesn't matter.
We won, that's the point.
395
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:05,411
You won squat.
We're gonna get 'em eventually.
396
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:08,335
I'll just keep chipping away
till one of 'em bails.
397
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:11,500
These four humans are all I care about
in the universe
398
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:14,007
and there is nothing, I mean nothing
399
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,584
that's gonna come between me...
400
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,885
Oh, cool. You're all together.
401
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,094
The Judge wants to see you.
402
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,509
Now? Right now?
403
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,971
- Um, like all of us or...
- Yep.
404
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,023
So this is Earth, huh?
405
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,519
Whoo! Pretty cool.
406
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:48,833
Michael, how many times
did I say you could go down to Earth?
407
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:52,083
- Actually, you weren't 100% explicit...
- One time!
408
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,211
I said you could go down there,
save their lives
409
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:59,219
start the new time line
and then come back here to observe them.
410
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:00,341
One time!
411
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,973
Is what I said. Un o!
412
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:05,267
One!
413
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:09,980
Your Honour, I have to say, I support you
one "hundo" percent.
414
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,059
I mean, what Michael did is unbelievable.
415
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,486
Now, granted, I also tricked the Doorman
and snuck down to Earth
416
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,859
but what are we gonna do...
417
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,116
Do you realise what you did?
418
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,910
You meddled in human affairs.
419
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,238
That ripples out, man.
420
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:30,204
Do you know how much weird stuff has happened
because of your little experiment?
421
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,493
England left Europe.
422
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:34,830
That Hugh Jackman musical
about P. T. Barnham...
423
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:36,839
it made like 400 million dollars.
424
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:40,712
Also, the Jacksonville Jaguars
are good now!
425
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:42,012
Impossible!
426
00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:44,218
I ' m se ri ous!
They're gonna make the playoffs.
427
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:47,259
Blake Bortles is kind of OK...
428
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,346
Maybe? I don't know, it's being debated
amongst experts.
429
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:54,183
It's confusing.
But whatever it is, it's yo' fault!
430
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,439
Your experiment with the humans is over.
431
00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:58,228
- Are you gonna kill them?
- No.
432
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,314
But starting now...
433
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,524
there is no more monitoring them.
434
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:06,278
They're just regular humans that need
to hit the regular point threshold
435
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,849
to see if they make it into the Good Place.
436
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,284
- Hm...
- And if they don't...
437
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:20,425
And right now, the two of you
are going back to the Bad Place.
438
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:21,755
But they'll retire Michael.
439
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,507
And I'll be marbleised!
440
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:26,180
Well, maybe you should have
thought about that
441
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:29,514
before you intervened in human affairs!
442
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:33,605
I mean, because of you, Byron Allen owns
The Weather Channel now.
443
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,518
- Is-is that bad?
- I don't know, but it's weird, man!
444
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:40,104
Now, come with me.
445
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,489
Hey, my powers are back online.
446
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,887
This must be everything
I tried to summon on Earth.
447
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,946
- Stop it!
- I don't think I can. I'm like a printer
448
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:53,242
when the print queue suddenly starts
processing all the unprinted documents...
449
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,578
Oh, man! Buckle up, folks.
450
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:03,464
Let's go. Right now!
451
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:04,763
Jan et!
452
00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:07,972
Make it stop! Janet, stop it!
453
00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:10,429
Janet, this is annoying!
454
00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:12,729
Jan et!
455
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:16,101
Good luck, frog man. I'm pulling for ya.
456
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,162
Janet, I know you're still there.
457
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:28,778
- They escaped.
- Yeah. Thanks, Jeff.
34423
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.