All language subtitles for The Conners S07E04 Danny Boy the Interview the New Hire and the Hanging Chad 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-FLUX

Quick, are Dad and Mark around?

Dan's getting ready to
meet with his lawyer

and I thought you
kicked Mark out.

What are you doing here?

No. I didn't kick Mark out.

He moved over here

because I said he would have
to find someplace else to go

if he was gonna keep
hacking. What's he doing?

He's upstairs hacking.

You might not have
made a big impression,

but you moved him
down the block.

Well, is anybody else around?

Well, Harris is making
dinner in the kitchen.

Are we in danger?

No. I just need a few minutes with
Dad's lawyer when she gets here.

I'm gonna try to trick her into giving
me free legal advice about Mark.

Oh, who would've thought little baby Mark
would grow up to be a gay cybercriminal?

I don't think his being gay
has anything to do with it.

No. I just like that the criminal
playing field is becoming more diverse.

So, what'd Ben have
to say about it?

Well, I'd have to see him to talk
to him and he's never around.

So I'm gonna have to figure out
this whole Mark thing on my own.

Well, you better hurry up, Darlene,
because even if I don't turn Mark in,

somebody's gonna catch on.

Listen, I know you're worried that this
puts you in a bad position as a cop.

But maybe you won't
even pass the physical

and then you won't
have a problem.

You have the right to be a loving
and supportive family member.

Now you think I can't pass
my physical, huh? Do ya?

Who is it?

It's Jean. Your dad's lawyer.

Would you mind opening the door?
There's a weird dog out here.

Uh, yeah.

Just give me a minute
to ditch the cops.

- Hey, Darlene.
- Hi.

Oh, it's you.

Take this.

Listen,

I've been practicing with Dan
for his pharmaceutical deposition

and I can't get
him to be emotional

when he talks about what
happened with Roseanne.

He just stuffs it down.

Yeah. He's typical
stoic Midwesterner.

I even sent him links from depositions
where loved ones really broke down

to show him what
will move a jury.

Never opened 'em.

Listen, we will work on my dad.

But I actually have a few questions of my
own about the lawsuit, if you don't mind?

Sure. Shoot.

Um, would it impact the
case if my mom was a hacker?

A gay hacker.

Was she?

Well, I don't wanna
incriminate myself or you.

So, let's just say no,
but keep talking about it.

Would she have been better
off turning herself in,

or leaving town hoping
it would all blow over?

Well, in your mother's
particular situation,

she had a real ace in the hole that
keeps her from being prosecuted:

She's dead.

Sure. Yeah, yeah. But, I'm...

I mean, just for fun.

Um,

what if she were alive and, like,
I don't know, like, a teenager?

I would say you need
to pay me for my time

about something that is
obviously a different case.

Oh, busted cold.

You're too late to help me with
dinner, but could you at least google

"Is it bad if you open a jar of
tomato sauce and it exhales?"

Sorry. I gotta prep for my
job interview Wednesday.

Oh, yeah. I can't work Wednesday.
My car won't start that day.

On Friday, there's gonna
be a payroll glitch

and you're not gonna
get as much money.

What a week we're gonna have.

I'm interviewing with
this cool tech company

that's starting a mental health
wellness department for their employees.

Ah, they're hiring you
as the bad example?

Oh, Mom, uh, Ben called.

He is gonna stop by and pick up some
food, but he is gonna eat at work.

Oh, cool.

I'll stick around so I can see my
husband for a whole two minutes.

Not enough for you but probably
the perfect amount for him.

Either way, after that I'm
gonna head to the Lobo.

I made them carry Impossible Burgers, so
now I gotta eat a whole case in a month.

So, wait.

No one's eating

and this jar of spaghetti sauce sounds
like an old man getting up off a couch,

so...

I'm out.

Whoa, the Lobo? Again?

So you're just trying to
drink your Ben problems away?

No. It's just a bummer being
home alone every night.

I'm home every night.

Do the math.

So what, you just drink
at the Lobo by yourself?

No, I hang out
with my buddy Chad.

Chad?

Well, we have a lot in common.

A lot in common with who?

Um, it's not important.

How are things
going at the office?

Uh, we are busy.

But, uh, I feel so bad I'm not gonna
make it for family dinner tonight.

Oh, hey, you know what
you should do sometime?

Go by the Lobo. I hear they
got Impossible Burgers, huh?

Really weird move for a bar whose logo
is a wolf standing over a deer carcass.

But, hey, you know?

- I love you.
- Love you.

- That was sketchy.
- What?

Hey. You were telling me about Chad and
you totally clammed up when Ben came in.

I... I didn't clam up.

I get, like, one
minute with him,

I'm not gonna waste it
talking about some random guy.

A guy you see every night.

No. He's just a friend that's
going through something.

There's nothing more
to it than that.

Let me give you some advice.

If you want people to
believe anything you say,

don't start by saying
you have a friend.

I can't help out for long.

I'm training for
my police physical.

Doesn't look stupid at all.

Hey. Everybody, this is Riley.

- Hi, Ben. Hi, Riley.
- This is Harris.

And that woman over there trying to
open a Doctor Strange portal with decaf

is Jackie.

Uh, it's nice to meet you guys.

Oh, stop it.

You're the one
who's nice to meet.

Would you want some breakfast?

No. We can't stay.

I'm just showing him where
to come to pick up lunch.

Riley is a journalism intern
who's soaking up my wisdom.

Helping out around the office.

I'm also looking for a paying
gig if you guys hear of anything.

Well, I'm actually
hiring servers.

And you'll be done soaking up Ben's
wisdom in three, two, when can you start?

I just need to get my stuff.

I can be back in an hour. I'm so... I
just... I really need the money, man.

So that's it?

Man. Can't believe
you're doing this.

You know, for those two hours...

you were like a son to me.

So you just hired somebody

without even asking if they ever
worked at a restaurant before?

Oh. I can tell by
talking to a person.

Waiting tables is
mostly just personality.

Because it came across as
little teeny-tiny, just a lit...

just a tiny bit predatory.

Look, if we happen to end up
dating, that's not predatory.

People meet at
work all the time.

- It's called fate.
- It's called sexual harassment

when you hire fate because it has
the ass of a volleyball player.

Come on, Jackie.

I have no social life.

I'm stuck here.

Well, all I'm saying, if
you don't act respectably,

people aren't gonna
treat you with respect.

Hey, Dad, what are
you doing here?

Hiding from my lawyer.

She keeps pushing me to be more
emotional for the deposition.

I'm just not good
at opening up. I...

I drink to get in
touch with my emotions,

but after five or six beers I forget
what I'm supposed to be feeling.

You feeling good
about the interview?

Huh.

I feel like an imposter who's too old
and too inexperienced to do the job,

so I have that going for me.

Hey, you know, if
you wanna stand out,

you could position yourself as the
one who's shaky and unqualified.

Do you have anything that
could actually help me?

Well, I mean, I am a manager.

I guess there might be some interview
techniques that could help you.

If there was ever a time to
put aside our differences...

It's when you
desperately need me?

I'll do it anyway.

Uh. Okay.

Uh, one important thing
to do is called mirroring,

where you do whatever
the interviewer does

because if they see themselves
in you, then they'll like you.

Makes sense.

It doesn't work on people who have
years of resentment towards you.

Okay, another thing is
your... your posture.

So, you wanna sit up
tall, no slumping.

Hide that old lady
hump you're developing,

that's gonna be a real
nice surprise for Tyler.

And, uh, oh, wear your glasses.

I don't wear glasses.

Well, you do now.

It makes you look smart.

You gotta counteract the perfect
skin and the blonde hair.

That's the nicest way you've
ever called me stupid.

Well, I'm surprised
you understood that.

Rebecca Conner-Healy.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- I'm Sven.
- Hey.

Have a seat.

More than welcome to
sit wherever you'd like,

but it might be more
comfortable in a chair.

Oh, I meant to do this.

I... I don't have any chairs in
my living room. They're all balls.

Uh. But, if there are chairs
here, then I'll try that.

So, I invited you in, Rebecca, because
Dr. Michaels highly recommended you.

He felt that since you're a single mom,
putting yourself through grad school,

you could relate to the stress that some
of our employees who have kids deal with.

I think that kind
of life experience,

uh, is a real plus for someone who's
gonna head up our new wellness department.

Did you say head
of the department?

Yes. This is a
management position.

Oh, my God. That is fantastic.

I am so grateful that you
appreciate what I've gone through.

You know, I'm a
recovering alcoholic.

And I have learned so
many coping strategies

that I know can
help your employees.

Wait.

Rebecca.

Becky. I think I remember you
from an AA meeting. You...

It was the night you got
your three-year chip.

Oh, my God. That
was a big night.

So you know what
I've been through.

No one gets pregnant in a
freezer on a one-night stand

or blacks out and
loses their kid

or is so out of it that they don't know
their mother is hooked on pain killers

without learning
a couple things.

I mean, I'm sure you
have your own stories.

Full disclosure,

I was only there to support a friend
who was also getting their chip.

I saw you, but I
left before you...

shared.

But thank you.

You're welcome.

Of course you know that
addicts always exaggerate.

We are such drama queens.

We have a saying,

"Take everything I say
with a gram of coke."

So, hey, thanks for coming down.

I was thinking about what you said
about Dan not wanting to be vulnerable.

And I had an idea about something
that might help him to open up.

- I'd love to hear it.
- Okay.

Well, one time, way back, we met
up with three of his Irish uncles.

Uh, they were visiting.
We went to a pub.

The band broke out into "Danny Boy,"
and the three old guys got so emotional

that when Dan saw them,
he started to tear up.

So, are you saying I should have his
crybaby uncles show up at the deposition

and play "Danny Boy"?

No, no, no. No.

I'm just saying that, no,
maybe, right before you go in...

♪ Oh, Danny boy ♪

I'm not doing that.

♪ The pipes, the
pipes are calling ♪

Nope. You can stop right there.

- His name is Dan.
- I got that.

♪ Oh, Danny boy ♪

It's not happening.

So, maybe he doesn't
wanna open up to you

because you're so negative
when somebody has a good idea.

They don't feel safe.

You know what might
make Dan feel safe?

Why don't you put a bell around
your neck so he hears you coming?

And when you come back to respond
to that, will you bring me a beer?

Mmm, right, you
did say no cheese,

extra pickle, no mayo,
mustard on the side.

Yeah. And this is
an eggplant Parm.

Yeah.

I ordered a burger.

I, um, I should write this
stuff down probably. Um.

Do you know who ordered
the eggplant Parm?

Uh.

Wow. He was clearly oxygen-deprived
at some point in his life.

That's the closest he's gotten to getting
an order right in the last two days.

Keep walking.

You gotta let him go.

I know.

Earlier, he dropped
a pie on a baby.

If I fire him, he's never
gonna wanna go out with me.

That's the chance you take when
you dabble in the skin trade.

Okay. Here's a suggestion.

Maybe, on your
next job interview,

you steer the conversation
towards your computer skills

and away from the fact that you blacked
out and couldn't find your baby.

See, this is the bar.

It's just a bunch of sad,
old drunks, like I told you.

That's Chad, the guy I
was telling you about.

And I assume the woman who looks like
she wants to kill him is his wife.

Oh, yeah. That's how he describes
her too. Oh, and blonde.

You're wasting your time
dragging me in here.

It's not gonna change anything.

I just wanna show you that
it's not some pickup joint.

It's just a regular neighborhood
bar with cheap booze

and, for some reason,
Impossible Burgers.

Oh. So you meet drunk,
cheap vegans who live nearby

and take them to sleazy hotels?

Wait, did she just
accuse him of cheating?

Because I've been here with
him every night for weeks

and he's never
picked up anybody.

Don't get in the
middle, Darlene.

But he's a good guy.

I feel like I gotta go over
there and help him out.

Yeah. I gotta go pick up
Beverly Rose at her dad's.

I'll see you later when
I bail your ass out.

Just so I can tell my attorney,

which one of these old neighborhood
skanks are you shacking up with?

Hi.

I'm so sorry. I couldn't
help but overhear.

And I feel obligated to tell you

that I've been here every
night for the past few weeks

and I have never seen your
husband pick up a woman.

I mean, like, not once.

Thanks, Darlene.

But I think you're giving
CPR to a dead guy here.

Oh. Oh, Darlene.

What? Do you watch him
from the minute he comes in

till the minute he
leaves, Darlene?

I can do you one better.

I sit at a table with
him night after night.

Oh. That really won't help.

So you've been hanging out
with my husband every night.

Yeah. I've been keeping
an eye on the rascal.

A very well-behaved rascal.

You are welcome.

For what?

For having an affair
with my husband?

You can pick up your
things on the front lawn.

Just sign the divorce papers.

Oh, no. Don't go.

I just couldn't sit there and
let her treat you like that.

But, obviously, I... I just
made things so much worse.

All right, I better
get home. I'm so sorry.

No. Stay.

If ever I needed an old neighborhood
skank to talk to, it's now.

All right, I'm going with you're
mad at all women right now,

so I'm gonna let that slide.

Yeah. I'll... I'll
grab us some drinks.

- Two vodka sodas.
- Got ya.

Look, I, uh, think you're
making the right choice.

Oh, vodka soda is my go-to
whenever I'm feeling kinda bloated.

Yeah. I was actually
talking about, um,

going with the girlfriend
instead of the wife.

Oh. She's not my girlfriend. She
just came over to try and help.

You sure she was trying to help?

She's here every
night for a reason.

Maybe she was trying
to blow it up.

Oh, wow.

Maybe she was.

- Hey.
- Ben Olinsky, is that you?

I ain't seen you in
nigh on 20 years.

Yeah. I've been homesteading where
the old hair salon used to be.

You know, out there by
the old Starbucks place.

Yeah. I've been pretty scarce.

- Man, it's been a lot of work.
- Yeah.

- What are you doing?
- Oh,

I'm cramming for my deposition.

These are Roseanne's
old medical records.

Yeah, it turns out she had acid
reflux, but she never told me

so mine would be
in the spotlight.

She was sweet like that.

Yeah, I wish I
could have met her.

I'd understand a lot more
of your family's jokes.

How did the interview go?

I almost fell off a ball.

Did you lose your balance when
you tried to catch the fish?

I feel stupid for
being so honest,

but it's because I felt so emotional
about everything that happened to me.

I... I wanted him to know
that I learned from it.

You know, there's... there's no
shame in being vulnerable with people

about your toughest moments.

You can be proud
you survived them.

That's good advice, coming from a
guy who needs to do the same thing

in a deposition.

Why must you lurk around, listening
to other people's conversations?

Because I care about people

and because I'm so
bored I could cry.

She's not wrong.

Maybe we should both
wear our scars proudly.

Not how I was raised.

My parents said if you tell everybody
about your problems, you sound weak.

Of course, between
the two of 'em,

you could teach a course in
ulcers, alcoholism and IBS.

Probably wouldn't hurt me
to try something different.

Now you're talking.

Yeah. I'm never gonna
remember all of that.

Why don't we just cut out the middleman
and you go tell the cook what you want?

I am so sorry.

- Riley, let's talk for a second.
- Yeah.

Uh. So... Hmm.

I have to fire you.

Yeah. No, that makes sense.

I, uh, I suck at this.

I'm more of... of a journalism nerd.
I don't why you didn't fire me sooner.

Well, in my defense, I mean, you've
only been working here for two days.

And...

...you're cute.

I just... I-I took this job
'cause I thought you were cute.

- Oh.
- I wanted to ask you out

but I don't, um,

have a job now.

So, you'll have to pay.

Uh.

Why don't we just eat here?

The help sucks but
the food is okay.

Yeah.

I understand.

Thank you for calling.

That was the tech company.

Mmm.

- I got the job!
- Oh.

- Oh.
- Whoa!

I'm the head of the
wellness division.

- Oh.
- I'm in charge

of a big important thing where I'm
actually gonna be making a big difference.

Blah, blah, blah.
How much money?

- A lot.
- A lot, a lot.

What's a lot? A lot for a Conner

or a lot for a guy that could
buy four new tires at once?

Four new tires and a spare.

Oh, damn.

I'm riding with you this
winter. We gotta celebrate.

Oh, yeah. Let's go to that expensive
Italian restaurant in Hoffman Estates.

Oh, thank you. But
you can't afford that.

But you can.

♪ ' Tis I'll be
there in sunshine ♪

♪ Or in shadow ♪

♪ Oh, Danny boy ♪

♪ I love you so ♪