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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,000 DEFENSE ATTORNEYS WHO DEFEND THEM. 2 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,000 >> Huey: IN RETROSPECT, IT 3 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,000 THIS IS ONE OF THEIR STORIES. 4 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,000 JUST FINISHED UP WITH THE CLERK. 5 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,000 HE'S SHOOK UP BUT OKAY. 6 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,000 SAID THE GUY JUST FLIPPED OUT, STARTED DANCING LIKE 7 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000 COME COME 8 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,000 FAULT, GRANDDAD. MICHAEL JACKSON, THEN SHOWED A GUN AND ROBBED THE PLACE. 9 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,000 FORGIVE YOU. 10 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,000 PERP WAS A BLACK MALE, AROUND 19, REALLY SEXY -- 11 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,000 OVER! 12 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,000 SEXY? 13 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,000 EXACTLY HOW SEXY? 14 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,000 DIMPLES, "HONEY BROWN" COMPLEXION, CHISELED ABS, EXTRA 15 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,000 SHINY CHAP-STICKED LIPS... 16 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,000 Huey: THIS IS WOODCREST -- AN 17 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,000 DAMN, THAT IS SEXY. 18 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,000 >> Granddad: OH, NO. 19 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,000 THERE'S ONLY ONE 19-YEAR-OLD BLACK MALE THAT MATCHES THAT 20 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,000 SEXY PROFILE. 21 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,000 PRETTY BOY FLIZZY. 22 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,000 NEVER HEARD OF HIM. 23 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,000 NOT TO SHOW IT, OUR MONEY PROBLEMS HAD CLEARLY MADE UM, ONLY THE HOTTEST UP-AND-COMING R&B STAR! 24 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,000 HERE IS WHERE ROBERT JEBEDIAH FREEMAN, WAR 25 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,000 GRANDDAD A LITTLE CRAZY. 26 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,000 YOU'VE HEARD OF HIS SONGS -- "TITTY TELETHON"? 27 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,000 Granddad: HUEY, RILEY, IS THAT ELECTRICITY I HEAR?! 28 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000 "PLEASURE ME ORALLY"? 29 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,000 "DON'T TOUCH MY ANUS, GIRL"? ALL RIGHT, THINK. 30 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,000 HOW WOULD I HAVE HEARD THIS? WE GOT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT WE'RE 31 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,000 OKAY, I KNOW YOU'VE HEARD, "YOU MAKE ME WANNA UNH!" 32 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,000 HUEY, WHAT DO WE DO? 33 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,000 THIS HOUSE IS AN AIRPLANE. 34 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,000 ALL DAY LONG ON THE RADIO, THAT'S ALL I HEAR, EVEN ON THE >> Huey: WE GO HOME. THIS WAY. 35 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,000 Huey: WE'RE RIGHT HERE, GRANDDAD. 36 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,000 WHITE STATIONS. 37 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,000 MATTER OF FACT, GET OUT HERE! NO, I HAVEN'T HEARD "YOU MAKE ME WANNA UNH!" 38 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,000 WE HAVE NO HOME. 39 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,000 WE ARE LEAVING WOODCREST FOREVER. YOU SHOULD BE DONE TRYING ON THOSE CLOTHES. 40 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,000 THAT'S DISGUSTING. WE HAVE NOTHING! 41 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,000 EH, IT'S NOT MY THING, BUT IT'S WHAT PASSES FOR R&B NOW, 42 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,000 Riley: I CAN'T WEAR THIS. 43 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,000 ALL RIGHT? Granddad: WHY NOT? 44 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,000 Huey: NOW, THAT'S TRUE, GRANDDAD. 45 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,000 I GOT TEENAGE DAUGHTERS. 46 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000 THEY'RE INTO BLACK GUYS, SO THIS IS WHAT I GOT TO HEAR. 47 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000 LOOKS STYLISH TO ME. 48 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,000 TELL HIM, HUEY. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GOOD OLD DAYS WHEN BLACK SINGERS WOULD 49 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000 Huey: IT'S NOT STYLISH. 50 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,000 Granddad: IF KRIS KROSS CAN JUMP IN THEM, YOU CAN WALK TO 51 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,000 DRESS IN HIGH-HEEL BOOTS OR BURN HOOKERS WITH CRACK PIPES? 52 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,000 BUT NOTHING WORKED OUT AS PLANNED. 53 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,000 YOU'RE SHOWING YOUR AGE, MY FRIEND. 54 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,000 >> Huey: GRANDDAD! FLIZZY'S IN TOWN, DOING A SHOW AT WOODCREST POST PAVILION 55 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,000 SEE, THIS IS WHY NIGGERS DROP OUT OF SCHOOL. 56 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,000 ANOTHER, AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT FOR MOVIN' US HERE. 57 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,000 I WAS HOPING TO GO. 58 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,000 NOW I HAVE AN EXCUSE. 59 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,000 UH-OH. I'M TAKING RESPONSIBILITY. 60 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,000 >> Granddad: NOPE. THIS IS IT. 61 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,000 Riley: WELL, I SAY IT'S ABOUT TIME! 62 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,000 END OF THE ROAD FOR ME. 63 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,000 I BEEN SAYIN' THIS PLACE SUCKS SINCE WE SHOWED UP. 64 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,000 >> Huey: GRANDDAD, WE DON'T HAVE 65 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,000 Granddad: WELL, I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON. 66 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,000 BUILDER REFUSED Huey: WE WERE CAUGHT IN A CYCLE OF DESPAIR, VIOLENCE, AND 67 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,000 >> Granddad: YOU GUYS GO. 68 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,000 INSPIRATION THAT MADE LADY SING Huey: WAIT A MINUTE, GRANDDAD. 69 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,000 I'M GOING TO STAND IN THE MIDDLE 70 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,000 WHAT'S GOIN' ON? I HAD TO FIND A REAL SOLUTION. 71 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,000 Granddad: WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN, GRANDSON? 72 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,000 UNTIL THE 73 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,000 Huey: WHY DON'T YOU GET A JOB? Huey: I MEAN, YOU NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OR LEARN A 74 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,000 THEN I'M GONNA GO OUT LIKE A 75 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,000 G! 76 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,000 LESSON...EVER. 77 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,000 Granddad: UH... LOTS OF OLD PEOPLE ARE GOING BACK TO WORK. 78 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,000 Huey: WE'RE BROKE, AREN'T WE, GRANDDAD? 79 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,000 Granddad: EHHH... 80 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,000 Riley: GRANDDAD BROKE? PSH. 81 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,000 COME 82 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,000 HUEY, YOU CRAZY, BOY. 83 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,000 TILL THE WAR IS WON 84 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,000 EVERYBODY KNOW GRANDDAD GOT LOTS OF PAPER. 85 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,000 TELL HIM, GRANDDAD. 86 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,000 YOU'RE STILL FAST. 87 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,000 WE HAVE STRONG GENES. 88 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,000 I'M SORRY, BOYS. 89 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,000 Riley: AW, NO, GRANDDAD. 90 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,000 YOU DIDN'T! 91 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,000 Granddad: YEAH, AND AFTER ALL THAT, A NIGGER IS TIRED. 92 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,000 Huey: GRANDDAD, CALM DOWN. 93 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,000 Huey: WELL, I THINK YOU COULD DO IT. 94 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,000 GRANDDAD, WHAT WE GOT TO EAT?! 95 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,000 WE HAVE NO MONEY? 96 00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,000 Granddad: RENT! 97 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,000 Granddad: THEN HAVE SLEEP FOR DINNER! 98 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,000 WHAT'S WORSE THAN NO MONEY? 99 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,000 YOU CAN EAT TOMORROW. 100 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,000 YOU'RE GETTING FAT ANYWAY! 101 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,000 THE SECURITY-CAMERA FOOTAGE YOU'RE WATCHING IS ALLEGEDLY OF 102 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,000 Huey: HOW MUCH? TRY THOSE. 103 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,000 Granddad: A COUPLE... 104 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,000 A COUPLE... 105 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,000 R&B SUPERSTAR PRETTY BOY FLIZZY HOLDING UP A LIQUOR STORE IN 106 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,000 Granddad: MNH-MNH. 107 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,000 Huey: HUNDRED THOUSAND? 108 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,000 Granddad: MILLION! 109 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,000 WOODCREST. 110 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,000 I REFINANCED WITH THAT DAMN 111 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,000 ALL THESE PEOPLE IN LINE FOR ROTE, DEHUMANIZING WORK? 112 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,000 WHILE IT IS DIFFICULT TO CLEARLY SEE THE SUSPECT'S FACE, 113 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,000 ADJUSTABLE-RATE MORTGAGE! 114 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,000 AUTHORITIES SAY HIS SEXINESS IS AN EXACT MATCH. 115 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,000 THE DANCING LADY IN THAT POP-UP AD LOOKED SO FRIENDLY! 116 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,000 THIS ISN'T FLIZZY'S FIRST RUN-IN WITH THE LAW. 117 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,000 LAST YEAR, HE RECEIVED FOUR MONTHS PROBATION AFTER BEATING JOB YESTERDAY, AMIGO. 118 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,000 UP TO 21%? 119 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,000 HIS THEN-GIRLFRIEND CHRISTIANNA LIVE ONSTAGE DURING THE GRAMMYS. 120 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,000 Riley: AW, GRANDDAD. 121 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,000 HERE? 122 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,000 >> Huey: I TOLD YOU -- I'M I'D JUST LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY FANS FOR BEATING MY HOT 123 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,000 WORKING WITH VERY UNSTABLE 124 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,000 Granddad: I'M SORRY. WELL, THANK YOU, AMIGO. 125 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,000 I'M SO...SO...SO... 126 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,000 HEY HIM, TRYING TO 127 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,000 Riley: IT'S GONNA BE REAL EMBARRASSING BEING THE ONLY 128 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,000 R&B GIRLFRIEND. 129 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,000 I LET MY FANS DOWN. 130 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,000 FINANCIAL PLANNER, AND YOU'RE WITHOUT YOU, I WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE AN R&B GIRLFRIEND TO BEAT. 131 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:37,000 TAKE OUR JOBS. 132 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,000 Both: WHOA. 133 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,000 >> Huey: MAN, WHY WE HAVE TO GO? 134 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,000 A YEAR BEFORE THAT, FLIZZY RECEIVED A TWO-YEAR SUSPENDED 135 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,000 SITUATION HAS CHANGED, WE NEED 136 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,000 TO START THINKING LIKE WHITE SENTENCE FOR SMUGGLING AUTOMATIC WEAPONS FROM NICARAGUAN REBELS. 137 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,000 PEOPLE -- ALL OF US. 138 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,000 >> Huey: I TOLD YOU I HAVE TO 139 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,000 Granddad: OH, RUCKUS, YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS OBAMA'S I'D JUST LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY FANS FOR SMUGGLING 140 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,000 PAYMENT 141 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,000 JUST DOING A CHEMISTRY PROJECT 142 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,000 Ruckus: THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS. AUTOMATIC WEAPONS FROM SOUTH AMERICAN DEATH SQUADS. 143 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,000 HE GOT ELECTED AND MADE GOOD WHITE FOLKS FEEL SELF-CONSCIOUS 144 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,000 I SWEAR. 145 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,000 I MAKE NO EXCUSES, OTHER THAN IT WAS A REALLY GOOD DEAL AND THEY 146 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,000 UNDER 147 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,000 >> Granddad: WHAT IS THAT -- 148 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,000 WERE THROWING IN A LOT OF FREE AMMUNITION. SEE, A SHOESHINE BOY IS SOMEBODY YOU SHOULD FEEL COMFORTABLE 149 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,000 SIX MONTHS AGO, FLIZZY WAS ARRESTED FOR FIGHTING IN THE 150 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,000 UP THEIR BOOTY HOLE, THEN THEY 151 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,000 WATER 152 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,000 V.I.P. SECTION OF A NIGHTCLUB WITH NICKI MINAJ. 153 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,000 TO BLOW UP THE WHOLE PLANE? 154 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,000 YOU'D BETTER NOT BE MAKING NO 155 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,000 I'D JUST LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY FANS, FOR FIGHTING IN THE 156 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,000 GRANDDAD. 157 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,000 V.I.P. SECTION WITH NICKI MINAJ. 158 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,000 I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT GOING 159 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,000 IN MY DEFENSE, I THOUGHT SHE WAS A ROBOT SENT FROM THE FUTURE TO 160 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,000 WITH THE BILLY DEE LOOK. 161 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,000 KILL ME. 162 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,000 WOODCREST TEA PARTY CHAIRMAN UNCLE RUCKUS STAGED A SMALL 163 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,000 ON YOUR TV, TALKING ABOUT "MAHMOUD AHAMADAMADINEJAD" AND 164 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,000 PROTEST AT THE VENUE TODAY. 165 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,000 Ruckus: WHO KEEPS GIVING THESE HIGH-YELLOW FELONS RECORD 166 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,000 DON'T HOLD BACK. THAT JUST COMPLICATES THE RELATIONSHIP. 167 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,000 CONTRACTS?! 168 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,000 >> I'VE BEEN GIVING IT TO YOU 169 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,000 OH, OH, IT'S JUST A RECORD YOU SAY! 170 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,000 MR. FREEMAN. 171 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,000 WELL, WHITE FOLKS, YOU WON'T BE SAYING THAT WHEN THE NIGGA THAT 172 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,000 GONNA BE THE PRESIDENT? 173 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,000 YOUR CREDIT CARDS IS MAXED OUT. 174 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,000 SINGS ON THAT RECORD COMES TO TOWN AND IMPREGNATES ALL THE 175 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,000 YOU'RE BROKE. 176 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,000 YOU'VE GOT ZIP, ZERO, ZILCH. 177 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,000 TAPATíO-SMELLING ASS AND FEEL COMFORTABLE YOU WILL NEVER SEE 178 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,000 WHITE WOMEN OF CHILD-REARING AGE! 179 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,000 BEFORE YOU AND YOUR 180 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,000 AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HE PLANS TO DO! HIS ILLEGAL ASS IN THE ROOSEVELT ROOM. 181 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,000 STARVING. JUST THINK OF ALL THE GOVERNMENT MONEY AND FOOD STAMPS THAT THEM 182 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,000 DO YOU REALLY NEED CABLE, 183 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,000 YOU REALLY NEED ALL THAT DAMN ORANGE JUICE?! 184 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,000 I SEE A LOT OF MONEY ON 185 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,000 YOU AIN'T GOT NO CHANCE. LITTLE MIXED-RACE QUADROON NIGGA CHILDREN WILL BE CONSUMING! 186 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,000 >> Riley: WE DON'T GO TO 187 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,000 RESTAURANTS. 188 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,000 AND THEY CONSUME A WHOLE LOT MORE THAN REGULAR CHILDREN 189 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,000 HELL OF A WORK ETHIC. FROM NOW ON, THAT'S ALL THE ORANGE JUICE YOU GET. 190 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,000 >> YOU'LL PROBABLY ALSO NEED TO 'CAUSE THEY EATIN' FOR TWO RACES! 191 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,000 I'MA STILL BE THIRSTY AFTER THAT. 192 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,000 OTHERS FELT DIFFERENTLY. 193 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,000 HOW MANY KIDNEYS DO YOU HAVE, I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS. 194 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,000 LISTEN UP. 195 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,000 MR. FREEMAN? FLIZZY CAN WHUP MY ASS ANYTIME! 196 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,000 DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS WHO 197 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,000 COME ON! BEAT IT UP, FLEEZY! 198 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,000 TRAFFIC IN DRUGS? 199 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,000 WHOO! 200 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,000 Sarah: I WANT YOU TO GET MAD AT ME, ONCE IN AWHILE, YOU KNOW? 201 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,000 MR. FREEMAN, LOOK OVER HERE! 202 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,000 Tom: IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND... 203 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,000 Granddad: TURN THAT DOWN. 204 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,000 NOW LISTEN, LISTEN. Shh! AND AM I READING THIS RIGHT? 205 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,000 Sarah: I'M TIRED OF IT! 206 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,000 IT'S BORING! 207 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,000 IT'S BORING ME TO DEATH! A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO... 208 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,000 Granddad: DEAD. 209 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,000 Tom: SARAH, PLEASE CALM DOWN! 210 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,000 WHAT? I'M OLD. 211 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,000 I SAID I APOLOGIZE! 212 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,000 SOMETIMES WHEN I SNEEZE, I MYSELF. 213 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,000 OUT OF NOWHERE, A MR. UNCLE RUCKUS. 214 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,000 Sarah: THERE YOU GO AGAIN. 215 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,000 YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN! ONCE -- MOVING ON. 216 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,000 Sarah: APOLOGIZING! OH, HOW THE HIGH YELLOW SHALL BE 217 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,000 Tom: YOU DON'T WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE? 218 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,000 KNOCK-OFF ED WUNCLER AND HIS ECONOMY-CRUSHING SON, EDDIE JR. 219 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,000 Sarah: NO, I DON'T! 220 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,000 Tom: OKAY, I'M SORRY I'M APOLOGIZING. ARE YOU EVEN TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY? 221 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,000 >> Granddad: LEAVE ME ALONE, 222 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,000 RUCKUS. 223 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,000 Sarah: YOU DID IT AGAIN! I'M WORKING AS FAST AS I CAN. 224 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,000 Tom: SARAH, CALM DOWN! IF YOU, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, THINK I AM COMPLETELY UNHIRABLE, 225 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,000 I'M SORRY. 226 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,000 I'M SORRY! 227 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,000 I CAN'T STOP! 228 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,000 OH, NO. UNH-UNH. UNH-UNH. 229 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,000 Sarah: OH, I SWEAR TO GOD, TOM, IF YOU APOLOGIZE AGAIN, YOU MR. FREEMAN, THESE ARE STANDARD JOB-PLACEMENT 230 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,000 RARE SKIN CONDITION CALLED REVITILIGO. 231 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,000 ARE OUT OF HERE! 232 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,000 RICHARD PRYOR -- NOTHING. 233 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,000 Tom: I'M -- MM. 234 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,000 LIBERALS ARE, OF COURSE, RIDICULING THIS MAN'S DISEASE, 235 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,000 OKAY. LET ME BE FRANK -- YOU ARE UNHIRABLE. 236 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,000 THEN JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO. 237 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,000 Sarah: THAT'S THE PROBLEM, TOM! 238 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,000 CLOSING TIME. 239 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,000 I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO! 240 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,000 I WANT YOU TO DO WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO BUT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO 241 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,000 TONIGHT. 242 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,000 UNCLE RUCKUS RAN FOR PRESIDENT AND BASICALLY ALMOST WON. 243 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,000 AIN'T NO NIGGA MAKE NO PLANS! 244 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,000 BUT WHY NOT JUST TELL ME?! 245 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,000 HIS STANDOUT MOMENT WAS DURING I THINK I HAVE THE PERFECT JOB. 246 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,000 Sarah: BECAUSE! 247 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,000 NO WOMAN WAKES UP AND SAYS, "GEE, I HOPE MY MAN DOES NOW, I GOT SOME PLANS, TOO. 248 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,000 I PLAN TO KEEP YOUR BLACK ASS EVERYTHING I TELL HIM TO TODAY." 249 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,000 HERE. 250 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,000 YOU'RE THE MAN, TOM! 251 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,000 SOMETIMES I WANT YOU TO DOMINATE! >> Granddad: SUMBITCH! 252 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,000 ONE MINUTE. 253 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,000 Ruckus: I DON'T NEED A MINUTE. 254 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,000 TAKE CONTROL! >> Riley: YOU HEARD THAT MAN, 255 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,000 IF I'M OUT OF LINE, PUT ME IN CHECK! 256 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,000 WE DON'T HAVE THE FINANCES TO BE 257 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,000 FEEDING THESE BITCHES. Tom: SURE, HONEY. 258 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,000 >> Granddad: EVERYTHING'S FINE. 259 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,000 WHATEVER YOU SAY. 260 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,000 Sarah: OHH! TOM! Huey: EVENTUALLY, GRANDDAD'S PRIDE GOT THE BEST OF HIM. 261 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,000 Tom: FINE! 262 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,000 I HEAR YOU! 263 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,000 GRANDDAD'S TAKING BITCHES OUT TO FROM NOW ON, I'LL TAKE CONTROL, AND I WON'T APOLOGIZE ANYMORE. 264 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,000 EAT AGAIN! 265 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,000 EXCEPT, WAIT. 266 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,000 YOU WANTED ME TO STOP APOLOGIZING, SO I'M SUPPOSED TO 267 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,000 Ruckus: YOU SEE, FELLOW WHITE AMERICANS, THIS IS WHY I AM 268 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,000 DO THE OPPOSITE OF THAT. 269 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,000 RIGHT? 270 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,000 YEAH, SO THEN I GUESS I WILL APOLOGIZE, THEN... Granddad: KISS MY BLACK ASS. 271 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,000 NOW, BEIN' BLACK IS BAD -- AIN'T NO QUESTION ABOUT THAT -- AND 272 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,000 AW, DAMN IT. 273 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,000 IF THAT'S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU. Huey: I HAD TO CALL IN THE 274 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,000 SORRY? I MIGHT STILL HAVE TIME TO RUN 275 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,000 GET OUT. 276 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,000 >> Riley: NO WAY, GRANDDAD. 277 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,000 Tom: NOW, HONEY, DON'T DO -- Sarah: GET OUT! 278 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,000 PAY YOUR BILLS, DEADBEAT NIGGA. 279 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,000 Granddad: RUCKUS, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. 280 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,000 Tom: OW! AWAY THE BULK OF HIS FREE DAY TO THE MAN. 281 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,000 Riley: AW, MAN, HERE HE COME! 282 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,000 Granddad: RILEY, HIT THE LIGHTS! Tom: HEY, HUEY. 283 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,000 Riley: MM-HMM. 284 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,000 Granddad: HUEY, ELECTRONICS! 285 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,000 ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. 286 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,000 HERE IN THE WHITE MAN'S HOUSE THAT YOU CANNOT AFFORD? 287 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,000 I'M TIRED OF THAT HENPECKED SIMP COMING OVER HERE EVERY TIME 288 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,000 WHO PEED IN YOUR PETUNIAS, ROBERT? 289 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,000 SHE THROWS HIM OUT, SCREAMING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH. Granddad: STUPID HUEY HAD THIS GREAT IDEA THAT A JOB COULD 290 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,000 THIS TIME, HE CAN SLEEP IN THE YARD. 291 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,000 FOOD STAMPS, NIGGA? HELP WITH MONEY PROBLEMS. 292 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,000 WHILE IT IS DIFFICULT TO CLEARLY SEE THE SUSPECT'S FACE, PRETTY BOY. PLAYER. 293 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,000 Huey: HOW IS IT MY FAULT YOU GOT FIRED? 294 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,000 AUTHORITIES HA-- 295 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,000 Granddad: IT'S YOUR FAULT I TRIED. 296 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,000 Tom: PLEASE. 297 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,000 I DON'T NEED THIS TODAY! 298 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,000 Huey: IT'S TOILET PAPER AND Tom: ROBERT, LOOK -- I KNOW IT'S HARD, BUT WE CAN FIND YOU A 299 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,000 SORRY FOR THE LATE DATE. 300 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,000 I WAS ON MY WAY TO TAPE JIMMY KIMMEL, AND I THOUGHT I 301 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,000 JOB. WOULD STOP BY AND SEE HOW Y'ALL NIGGAS WAS DOIN'. 302 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,000 UM, ANYWAY, YOU ALL SET FOR 303 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,000 I GOT IT. 304 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,000 HEY, HOW THAT BLACK-PRESIDENT THING WORK OUT FOR YOU? 305 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,000 WHERE YOU WANT TO GO, BABY? 306 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,000 Granddad: RUCKUS, ENOUGH! Granddad: VOLUNTEER?! 307 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,000 HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY HOUSE PAYMENTS, ANYWAY? Riley: WE BROKE AS HELL, DOING HOMEWORK BY CANDLELIGHT, 308 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,000 YOU COME BY TO RUB IT IN? 309 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,000 HEY. HERE'S AN IDEA. 310 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,000 Ruckus: NO, SIR, I DID NOT. 311 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,000 I CAME BY TO TELL YOU I QUIT! MAN, THAT'S LIKE HUSTLING BACKWARDS! 312 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,000 DINNER AND JUST DO SOMETHING... 313 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,000 NOW THAT I'M AN OFFICIAL WOODCREST MAYORAL CANDIDATE, I 314 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,000 A POP-TART. VOLUNTEERING CAN BE THE PERFECT CONDUIT TO FULL-TIME EMPLOYMENT. 315 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,000 YOU KNOW, LIKE WATCH A MOVIE ON 316 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,000 WILL NO LONGER WORK FOR Y'ALL NIGGAS, MEXICANS, OR SWARTHY 317 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,000 BASIC CABLE, POP SOME POPCORN, 318 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,000 HEY, DON'T TELL MY GRANDDAD ABOUT THIS. 319 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,000 PERSIANS. 320 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,000 WE NOT SUPPOSED TO FEED YOU. 321 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,000 MR. RUCKUS, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? I'M VOLUNTEERING AT THE OLD-FOLKS' HOME TONIGHT. 322 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,000 Ruckus: GET OFF ME, ROBERT! 323 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,000 A LITTLE SHORT ON CASH. 324 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,000 GET YOUR NIGGA HANDS OFF ME! 325 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,000 OH, WHAT A SURPRISE -- THE NIGGA IS RESORTING TO VIOLENCE. 326 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,000 YOU KNOW ONE'S ABOUT TO DIE, BE REAL NICE TO THAT ONE. 327 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,000 HELLO? 328 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,000 CHA-CHING! 329 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,000 >> Riley: WHEW. 330 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,000 THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE. 331 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,000 WHAT'S FOR DINNER? 332 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,000 >> Granddad: IT'S JUST NOT FAIR. THEY'RE SO GRATEFUL FOR THE VOLUNTEERS. 333 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,000 Tom: I REALLY DON'T THINK IT'S PRUDENT TO RECORD AN 334 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,000 Granddad: IT'LL BE OKAY. 335 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,000 I'M NOT RECORDING. PLUS, THERE'S LOTS OF LONELY CUTIES THERE. 336 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,000 THIS IS A LIVE STREAM. 337 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,000 I'M NOT VERY FIT. 338 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,000 WHAT'S UP? FOR ME 339 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,000 Y'ALL KNOW WHO IT IS -- PRETTY BEEZY FLEE-YEEZEY-WEEZY, 340 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,000 I MEAN, LAST WEEK WAS THE FIRST PAYMENT I MISSED, SO I FIGURE 341 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,000 YOU KNOW? 342 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,000 I APPRECIATE ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT Y'ALL BEEN SENDING ME A BANJO ON MY 343 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,000 THAT I HAVE ABOUT, UH... 344 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,000 SINCE THE WHOLE INCIDENT WENT DOWN. 345 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,000 NEVER FEAR. BUT I HAD MONEY, AND AS LONG AS 346 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,000 GOT BIG LAWYERS ON THE CASE. 347 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,000 SAY WHAT'S UP TO TOM DuBOIS. I HAD MONEY, I COULD HAVE A 348 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,000 MODERATELY SATISFYING SEX LIFE. 349 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,000 Tom: FLIZZY, I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO TURN IT OFF, NOW. 350 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,000 >> Riley: UGH. 351 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,000 KILL THE CAMERA, B. 352 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,000 Tom: I ALSO THINK THESE PEOPLE SHOULD LEAVE. MNH-MNH! DON'T CLAP. 353 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,000 "THESE PEOPLE?" YOU MEAN "THESE PEOPLE?" 354 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,000 Tom: I MEAN THESE PEOPLE. 355 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,000 CAN'T AN OLD BITCH GET SOME FREE LEGAL ADVICE, SOME ESTATE 356 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,000 YOU MEAN MY PEOPLE, NIGGA! 357 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,000 THESE MY PEOPLE. PLANNING, AN ADVANCE DIRECTIVE? 358 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,000 ANYTHING YOU CAN SAY TO ME YOU CAN SAY IN FRONT OF THEM. 359 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,000 Granddad: 360 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,000 IF ANYTHING, NIGGA, YOU THE STRANGER HERE. 361 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,000 DAD TURNED OVER THE PROPERTY MANAGEMENT TO ME. 362 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,000 YOU SHOULD LEAVE THE ROOM. 363 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,000 Tom: IT'S MY OFFICE. 364 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,000 Granddad: ROBERT. OKAY, THEN, SO WHAT'S THE BIG SECRET THAT YOU CAN'T 365 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,000 YOU'RE ED THE THIRD'S DAD? 366 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,000 TELL ME IN FRONT OF MY FANS AND MY PEOPLE? 367 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,000 MM. ROBERT, HUH? 368 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,000 WHY IS THIS MY FIRST TIME SEEING YOU? 369 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,000 MATTER OF FACT, WHY AM I EVEN HERE? 370 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,000 WHAT FLOOR YOU LIVE ON? Tom: YOU WANTED TO TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR CRIMINAL CASE. 371 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,000 CAN I COME IN? 372 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,000 Granddad: OH, I DON'T LIVE HERE. 373 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,000 OH, THAT'S RIGHT! 374 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,000 Tom: I REVIEWED THE CASE, AND I'VE WATCHED THE SECURITY 375 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,000 WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN -- SEEMS LIKE A LOVELY PLACE. 376 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,000 COOL. SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 377 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,000 Tom: ALL RIGHT, JOKE TIME. 378 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,000 CAN YOU GET ME OFF? IS THIS THING ON? NO? 379 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,000 Tom: DID YOU ROB THE LIQUOR STORE, FLIZZY? 380 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,000 THE COUCH IS...UH, BEAUTIFUL, WITH THE...THE CARPET. 381 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,000 I CAN'T SAY THAT...I DID IT, BUT, HONESTLY, REALLY CAN'T SAY 382 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,000 ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S INVISIBLE AND SMELLS LIKE STRAWBERRIES? 383 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,000 OH, I-I'M SORRY. 384 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,000 THIS IS MY ASSISTANT, VANDERBILT. 385 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,000 Tom: AND WHY CAN'T YOU SAY "F'SHO"? MY FARTS AFTER I DRINK ENSURE. 386 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,000 WE'RE GONNA BE 387 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,000 UP! RICH. 388 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,000 >> Tom: YEAH, MY HAIR'S SO SILKY Tom: AND HOW ABOUT THESE -- HOW ABOUT YOUR ENTOURAGE? 389 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,000 SMOOTH. 390 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,000 MM-HMM? HMM. 391 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,000 DO THEY KNOW ANYTHING? THAT IS NO-- GAH. 392 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,000 UP, TOO! NO, THAT'S -- THAT'S NOT THE PUNCH-- 393 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,000 HEY, MAN, WHEN WE GO OUT, WE GO HARD. I DON'T WANT TO WASTE YOUR TIME. 394 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,000 GIRLS. 395 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,000 IT SMELLS LIKE STRAWBERRIES IN HERE NOW. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW COMPLICATED IT IS BEING ME. 396 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,000 WE'RE NOT EXACTLY WHERE I NEED TO BE WITH THE HOUSE. 397 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,000 IT'S PRETTY HOT. 398 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,000 ALL THE TIME I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I SAID. IT'LL BE MORE FUN THAN THIS. 399 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,000 BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD. 400 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,000 Tom: HOW? 401 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,000 'CAUSE I GOT LIKE 18 PEOPLE TWEETING FOR ME AT ONE TIME. 402 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,000 Granddad: YEAH, ABOUT THAT... 403 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,000 LOOK, I'M JUST HERE TO GET YOU THE OUT. 404 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,000 UP! 405 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,000 SO, LIKE, I LOOK AT THE TAPE AND I SAY, "IS IT ME, OR IS IT 406 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,000 YOU'RE SITTING ON A GOLD MINE. 407 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,000 SOMEONE I JUST PAID TO ROB A LIQUOR STORE WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE 408 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,000 >> Granddad: OH, THANK YOU, 409 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,000 >> Granddad: OH, THANK YOU, 410 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,000 ME?" I DON'T KNOW. 411 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,000 SOMEDAY. 412 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,000 >> Tom: SO, WHAT'S THE PLAN? Tom: OKAY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW UP FRONT THAT I HAVE SERIOUS 413 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,000 >> Riley: YEAH, HOW DO WE GET 414 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,000 MM. MM! OOH! ISSUES WITH SOME OF YOUR BEHAVIOR IN THE PAST, ESPECIALLY 415 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,000 ROBERT, IT'S ME. 416 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,000 IT'S YOUR NEPHEW, EDDIE. Granddad: UGH! 417 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,000 HITTING A WOMAN. THERE'S A LOT THAT HAS TO BE 418 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,000 I KNEW YOU WAS GONNA SAY THAT. 419 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,000 CAN I TELL YOU MY SIDE OF IT, THOUGH? 420 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,000 POCKET CHANGE. 421 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,000 ROBERT, COME. HAVE A SEAT. Tom: NO, I DON'T -- CAN I TELL YOU MY SIDE OF IT, 422 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,000 DON'T NEED THAT. 423 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,000 THOUGH? YOU HAVE? 424 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,000 >> Granddad: I'M NOT SURE. Tom: NO, FLIZZY, THERE'S -- CAN I TELL YOU MY SIDE OF IT 425 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,000 YOU REMEMBER THOSE NUNS WAS TRYIN' TO HIDE 426 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,000 SO, ROBERT, WHAT BROUGHT YOU HERE TODAY? Tom: FINE! WHAT?! 427 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,000 >> Huey: HEY, GRANDDAD. 428 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,000 THE THORNY CROWN IN THE WALL? 429 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,000 HAVE YOU SEEN THAT CONTAINER OF UP! 430 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,000 >> Granddad: HEY, HUEY. Riley: HEY, MAN, WHY YOU STEALIN' OUR STUFF?! 431 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,000 HOW MUCH MORE OF THAT WAVE CREAM 432 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,000 SOON AS I GOT ARRESTED, I SAID, "I WANT THE DUDE THAT GOT 433 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,000 H>> Huey: GRANDDAD, YOU DIDN'T.M 434 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,000 >> Granddad: THIS WAVE CREAM YOU 435 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,000 R. KELLY OFF." 436 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,000 JOB?! Tom: WELL, I PROSECUTED R. KELLY, AND I -- 437 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,000 OH, YOU DON'T WANT TO WORK HERE, HONEY. 438 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,000 NEVER MIND. CREAM. 439 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000 Tom: MY ANSWER IS ALMOST CERTAINLY NO, BUT...I'LL THINK 440 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,000 IT'S YOUR HOUSE. 441 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,000 IT'S YOUR LIVING ROOM. 442 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,000 ABOUT IT. >> Granddad: IT GROWS HAIR -- 443 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,000 IF I DO TAKE THE CASE, MY RETAINER IS -- 444 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,000 DEAD GRANDMOTHER'S ASHES! 445 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,000 MY RETAINER IS... 446 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,000 OKAY, SO, LOOK. 447 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,000 HERE. ENTERTAIN THAT. 448 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,000 HIGHLY EXPLOSIVE COMPOUND FOR A 449 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,000 THE NEW RATE ON YOUR SUB-PRIME, NON-PRIME, UNDER-PRIME MORTGAGE 450 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,000 Tom: PLEASE STOP THROWING MONEY AT ME. 451 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,000 >> Both: A BOMB?! 452 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,000 IS $52,000.47. OF POOP, PISS, POOPY PISS, AND GOUT. 453 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,000 THINGS A BITCH WILL NEVER SAY. 454 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,000 WASN'T A BOMB. 455 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,000 YOU SPECIFICALLY SAID IT WAS NOT HEY, THAT'S A SONG! 456 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,000 A BOMB! 457 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,000 >> Granddad: BOY, COME HERE! A'IGHT, PIMPIN', I'M-A SEE YOU TOMORROW. 458 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,000 SCRUBS. I CAN'T COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY IN A MONTH! 459 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,000 YOU WANT TO MAKE A BOMB? 460 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,000 THE WORST PART -- HA! -- NO MONEY. WELL, NOT IF YOU KEEP PUTTIN' ALL THAT NEGATIVE ENERGY INTO 461 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,000 WITH THIS BELT. 462 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,000 >> Huey: YOU GOT TO WASH THAT 463 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,000 YOU GOT TO THINK POSITIVE. 464 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,000 Tom: THAT SINGER PRETTY BOY FLIZZY CAME IN TODAY. 465 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,000 SAY, "I WILL GET EDDIE'S MONEY IN A MONTH." 466 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,000 UNDERGROUND FINANCIAL ENTERPRISE. 467 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,000 Sarah: PRETTY BOY FLIZZY? 468 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,000 ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU'LL FEEL BETTER. 469 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,000 HE'S HIRING YOU TO DEFEND HIM FOR THE LIQUOR-STORE THING? SO, MR. MAN, YOU STILL INTERESTED IN A JOB? 470 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,000 Granddad: I WILL GET EDDIE'S MONEY IN A MONTH. 471 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,000 >> Granddad: DAMN IT, BOY, WHY 472 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,000 TOM, THAT'S HUGE! Granddad: WAIT! NO! 473 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000 Tom: DON'T GET TOO EXCITED. 474 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,000 IT'S ALL GONNA BE OKAY. 475 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,000 I'M NOT TAKING THE CASE. 476 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,000 Sarah: WHY NOT? AND GET OUR FREEDOM BACK. 477 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,000 Tom: I DON'T WANT TO DEFEND A WOMAN-BEATER, FOR ONE. I WANT TO WORK IN A CLEAN PLACE. 478 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,000 YOU KNOW, FOR A SMART NIGGA, YOU 479 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,000 Sarah: HE MADE A LITTLE TINY MISTAKE. 480 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,000 COME UP WITH SOME DUMBASS PLANS. 481 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,000 Tom: I GUESS HITTING A WOMAN IS OKAY IF YOU HAVE ABS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT WHORES, ROBERT? 482 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,000 Listen to me. 483 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,000 Fake your deaths. 484 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,000 Granddad: LOVE 'EM. Sarah: HE'S A TALENTED ARTIST. 485 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,000 Fake...your...deaths. GOOD. LET ME BACK UP A BIT. 486 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,000 Tom: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, OKAY. KNOW WHY WE'RE BROKE, ROBERT? 487 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,000 SLOW DOWN. 488 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,000 "FLUID SWAP"? BECAUSE OUR GENERATION RAISED NO-GOOD, SELFISH-ASS SONS. 489 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,000 "RUB AGAINST MY ERECTION"? 490 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,000 WRITE IT DOWN BEFORE WE FORGET. 491 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,000 "YOU MAKE ME WANNA UNH"? I ASKED MY SON TO VISIT ME. 492 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,000 ONE SPARK, AND HEADS COULD 493 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,000 I LOVE "YOU MAKE ME WANNA UNH!" 494 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,000 ACTUALLY EXPLODE. 495 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,000 OH, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD GET HIM TO SING AT JAZMINE'S 496 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,000 EXPLOSIONOF BEAUTIFUL HAIR." ■ 497 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,000 BIRTHDAY? I'M TELLING YOU, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF OUR BOYS AGE 30 TO 50 -- 498 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,000 Tom: NO! DO YOU LET HER LISTEN TO THAT? 499 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,000 Sarah: OUR PROBLEMS HAVE BEEN ROUGH ON HER. 500 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,000 >> Huey: GRANDDAD, YOU'RE GONNA 501 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,000 KILL PEOPLE. IT WOULD BE NICE TO, YOU KNOW... 502 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,000 >> Granddad: WE'LL PUT A WARNING 503 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,000 WHAT? 504 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,000 THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN. FREEMAN. 505 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,000 Tom: DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? AN OLD-SCHOOL MAN LIKE YOU YOUNG LADIES WOULD 506 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,000 MORAL DILEMMA SOLVED. 507 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,000 Sarah: WHAT? 508 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,000 Tom: THIS ISN'T ABOUT JAZMINE. REALLY APPRECIATE. 509 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,000 Granddad: MR. WUNCLER. 510 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,000 YOU WANT TO MEET PRETTY BOY FLIZZY. 511 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,000 UH... 512 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,000 WELL, GIVE ME A RED LIGHT AND SIGN ME UP. NO, JAZMINE WANTS TO MEET PRETTY BOY FLIZZY. 513 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,000 I WAS JUST...WONDERING IF YOU, UM, HAD THAT MONEY. MAKE SURE TO READ THE PART WHERE WE GET TO CAP YOUR ASS IF 514 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,000 Tom: NO, YOU WANT ME TO DEFEND PRETTY BOY FLIZZY BECAUSE 515 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,000 >> Granddad: GET OFF ME! 516 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,000 WELL, UM...MON-- MONEY...W-W-WE, UH... 517 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,000 YOU WANT TO MEET HIM AND DO HIM! 518 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,000 Sarah: WHAT?! 519 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,000 Tom: YEAH! YEAH! YOU DO! 520 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,000 YOU WANT TO GO UNH ON HIM! REAL TALK, ROBERT -- I SHOULD HOPE, AT YOUR AGE, YOU KNOW THAT 521 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,000 Granddad: WELL...YOU SEE -- EDDIE?! 522 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,000 YOU WANT TO UNH ON HIM ALL NIGHT! 523 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,000 WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT WHEN IT COMES TO OUR NEEDS. 524 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,000 Sarah: I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW INSECURE YOU ARE! 525 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,000 Granddad: YES, WELL, I'M WORKIN' ON IT, BUT I DON'T HAVE 526 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,000 >> Huey: I AGREED TO HELP 527 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,000 LISTEN TO YOURSELF. YOU DON'T HAVE MY MONEY. I'VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK. 528 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,000 Tom: HE'S LIKE YOUR PERFECT MAN! 529 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,000 AGREED TO WASH HIS HAIR. 530 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,000 HOW MUCH YOU HAVE? 531 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,000 THIS IS BOSS WILLONA, PROPRIETOR HE WON'T EVEN SAY SORRY WHEN HE POUNDS YOUR FACE IN! 532 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,000 BRING THE SUITCASE WITH THE MONEY! 533 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,000 OF A BLACK BEAUTY SALON WE FOUND 534 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,000 Granddad: WAIT. YOU'RE AN ESCORT. 535 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,000 WAIT. Granddad: OKAY, ESCORT. 536 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,000 THERE WAS ABOUT BLACK BEAUTY 537 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,000 HE'S NOT COMING THIS WAY. 538 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,000 PRODUCTS, ALTHOUGH I STARTED TO 539 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,000 HE'S GETTING IN HIS CAR. 540 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,000 WITH ME, RIGHT? 541 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,000 SERIOUSLY, WHERE'S MY MONEY?! 542 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,000 YOU DON'T HAVE MY MONEY? 543 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,000 NORMALLY, I TRY TO TALK PEOPLE Tom: YOU'RE A SELFISH BASTARD, ROBERT FREEMAN! 544 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,000 GOD...DAMN! 545 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,000 Huey: GRANDDAD WAS DEFINITELY HAPPIER SINCE HE CAME BACK FROM 546 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,000 A'IGHT. EDDIE. THINK. 547 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,000 GOT SOMETHING SPECIAL, VERY 548 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,000 THE OLD-FOLKS' HOME. 549 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,000 WAIT! I GOT IT! I GUESS THERE IS SOMETHING TO VOLUNTEERING. 550 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,000 Granddad: WHAT? 551 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,000 THE HOUSE. Granddad: HUEY, DRENCH MY BACK. 552 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,000 THIS IS ART. Tom: I JUST DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA WORK OUT, FLIZZY. 553 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,000 Riley: AW, NO! 554 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,000 YOU NIGGAS ARE SOME REAL 555 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,000 WE RENT OUT EACH OF THE ROOMS AS A SEPARATE UNIT -- TWO BEDROOMS, 556 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,000 ARTISTS. 557 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,000 WE USED YOUR GEL ON THE LEFT 558 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,000 I'M JUST DEALING WITH SOME PERSONAL PROBLEMS. SANDWICHES? 559 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,000 UP, MY DUDE! 560 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,000 >> BITCHES BE HATIN'. 561 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,000 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I GOT A JOB. 562 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,000 RIGHT NOW, WE'RE BOTH LETTING THE HATERS GET US DOWN. 563 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,000 THIS IS BETTER THAN WHITE-BITCH 564 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,000 WE GOT TO SHAKE THE HATERS. 565 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,000 Granddad: WHAT DO WE THINK ABOUT...HAVING PEOPLE MOVE IN Granddad: LOTS OF IMPORTANT JOBS -- VALET AND PIMPS. 566 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,000 DO THIS FOR ME, TOM. 567 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,000 COME ON. SHAKE THOSE HATERS. 568 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,000 Huey: WHOA. WAIT. Huey: WHICH ONE ARE YOU? I'M HATE-FREE, BUT I CAN STILL FEEL THE HATE ON YOU. 569 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,000 Granddad: HUSH. 570 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,000 Riley: YEAH, MAN, SLOW DOWN. DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT I AM. 571 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,000 YOU'RE INTERESTED IN PLACING AN MMM. FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT? 572 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,000 YOU GUYS WILL LOVE IT. 573 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,000 IT'LL BE LIKE A COMMUNE. 574 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,000 OKAY, SO... Ruckus: HELLO, LIL' NIGGERS. 575 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,000 NOW WILL YOU TAKE THE CASE? 576 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,000 >> Granddad: EXCUSE ME? 577 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,000 Tom: NO. GET OUT THERE AND SELL THAT SHRIVELED-UP MONKEY DICK. 578 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,000 OKAY, FINE. MR. FREEMAN -- AN 579 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,000 IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE CASE, YOU CAN'T TAKE THE CASE. AFRICAN-AMERICAN ENTREPRENEUR. 580 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,000 SEE YOU IN THE MORNING, HO MAN. 581 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,000 IT JUST SEEMS LIKE ME -- SEXY, BUFF ALPHA MALE -- AND YOU -- 582 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,000 "OCCUPY MY LIVING ROOM." 583 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,000 Riley: WHERE DO WE LIVE? Granddad: RUCKUS, I'M NOT A WHORE MAN. 584 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,000 KINDHEARTED BUT FRUMPY EVERYMAN -- COULD SOMEHOW BE 585 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,000 IT'S DAMN NEAR LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HOUSE. 586 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,000 I'M AN ESCORT. 587 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,000 ABLE TO HELP EACH OTHER. >> Granddad: HUH? 588 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,000 Tom: AM I A FRUMPY EVERYMAN? 589 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,000 LET ME BREAK DOWN "ESCORT" FOR YOU. 590 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,000 MAKE THIS SHIT FLY. 591 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,000 IS THAT WHY SHE'S LOST INTEREST?! 592 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,000 OF COURSE. 593 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,000 TOM! 594 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,000 WHITE WOMAN WHO, TEMPORARILY DOWN ON HER LUCK, USES THE 595 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,000 YOUR HAIR LOOKS LIKE 596 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,000 POWERS OF HER GOLD-PLATED VAGINA TO CARE FOR HER ADORABLE KIDS. 597 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,000 YOU GOT NO FLASH, NO SWAG, NO THIN VENEER OF TOUGHNESS. 598 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,000 WHOA! 599 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,000 >> Riley: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, 600 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,000 OF COURSE YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU AND IS DOING IT TO SOME RANDOM GUY. 601 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,000 ALL RI-I-I-GHT. 602 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,000 >> I'LL TAKE ALL OF IT -- 603 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,000 Tom: THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID HAPPENED. 604 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,000 WHATEVER YOU GOT. 605 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,000 SO, LOOK -- YOU TAKE THE CASE, AND I TEACH YOU HOW TO YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH DUDES? 606 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,000 ADVISE MY GRANDFATHER BRIEFLY? 607 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,000 DRESS AND HOW TO TALK TO BITCHES AND SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE. 608 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,000 I'M ESCORTING LADIES. 609 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,000 Tom: YOU KNOW WHAT? Riley: WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, THEN. 610 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,000 WHY NOT? 611 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,000 ACTUALLY, THAT'S KIND OF GANGSTA. YOU'RE NOT GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO DANCE, RIGHT? 612 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,000 NO. Huey: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET A REAL JOB. 613 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,000 NO DANCING. 614 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,000 Granddad: THIS IS A REAL JOB. BUT THERE WILL BE A SHOPPING MONTAGE. 615 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,000 BOY, THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 616 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,000 MISS BOSS WILLONA IS A PILLAR OF TWO THINGS WOMEN HATE -- BROKE MEN AND BORING MEN. 617 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,000 THE COMMUNITY. 618 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,000 >> I ASSURE YOU OUR OPERATION IS 619 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,000 GOOD NEWS IS, YOU'RE NOT BROKE. 620 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,000 Granddad: YES, UH, I'M THE 621 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,000 BUT YOU ARE BORING, AND WOMEN HATE TO BE BORED, TOM. 622 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,000 OWNER OF THE HOUSE. 623 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,000 YOU AIN'T THE OWNER OF THE HOUSE. 624 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,000 THEY HATE TO BE BORED. THIS STUFF. 625 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,000 A WOMAN WOULD RATHER BE WITH A GUY THAT BEATS THEM TO DEATH 626 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,000 BE LATE FOR MY FIRST DATE. Granddad: YES, WELL, I'M ROBERT FREEMAN, CIVIL RIGHTS -- 627 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,000 >> Huey: NO, GRANDDAD, I THINK 628 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,000 THAN BORES THEM TO DEATH. THAT'S HOW WE ALL GOT HERE. 629 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,000 >> Granddad: DON'T LISTEN TO TRUST ME, NIGGA, I KNOW. 630 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,000 HIM, BOSS LADY WILLONA. 631 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,000 BUT WHY DO THEY WANT ME, TOM? 632 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,000 WHY YOU GOT TO RUIN EVERYTHING? 633 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,000 >> Huey: WE GOT TO TELL THEM. 634 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,000 Granddad: I WAS HOPING TO USE THE BATHROOM. 635 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,000 IS IT MY INCREDIBLE SEXINESS? 636 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,000 SURE. >> Granddad: YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY, 637 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,000 NOW EXCUSE ME. BUT WHY AM I SO SEXY? 638 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,000 Granddad: YES, BUT I WOULD PREFER TO U-- TIME FOR GRANDDAD TO GIVE THE LADIES WHAT THEY NEED. 639 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,000 WHAT IS THE SECRET TO MY SEXINESS? 640 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,000 >> Huey: BOSS WILLONA, THIS OUT MY FACE, NIGGA! 641 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,000 MY MONEY, MY JEWELS, FAME? 642 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,000 MM. OHH. ARE WE ABOUT TO HAVE A NIGGA MOMENT? 643 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,000 COMPOUND. 644 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,000 ABSOLUTELY. IT'S A HIGHLY EXPLOSIVE 645 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,000 THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. BUT, REALLY, IT'S BECAUSE I'M A UP. 646 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,000 Granddad: NO, PLEASE. 647 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,000 I DON'T WANNA HAVE A NIGGA MOMENT. GOD, I SHOULD HAVE SIGNED UP FOR MORE THAN THREE HOURS. 648 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,000 I GET ARRESTED, I DO DRUGS, I ROB LIQUOR STORES -- ALLEGEDLY! 649 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,000 I JUST HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. 650 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,000 Granddad: 651 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,000 THAT'S WHAT ALL WOMEN WANT. 652 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,000 YOU THINK THEM BITCHES OUT THERE 653 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000 BECAUSE WOMEN HAVE NO SELF-RESPECT! 654 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,000 Tom: WELL, MY WIFE HAS 655 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,000 SELF-RESPECT. 656 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,000 REALLY? YOU SURE? HER? 657 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,000 Tom: YES! 658 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,000 Granddad: NO! SHE'S AN EDUCATED, WELL-ROUNDED, CONFIDENT WOMAN. 659 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,000 Granddad: NOPE. 660 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,000 THAT'S IT! AND WHAT ABOUT HER? 661 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,000 I MAY NEED TO MEET HER. Granddad: NO, MARGE SIMPSON'S NOT PRETTIER THAN YOU, EITHER! 662 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,000 Tom: NO, NO, NO. NO. DON'T YOU GET IT? 663 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,000 I KNOW WHERE THIS GOES. THESE BITCHES WOULD PUT NAPALM 664 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,000 YOU'RE PRETTIER THAN TONIGHT'S ENTIRE LINEUP AND ALL OF BASIC 665 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,000 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO MY WIFE. 666 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,000 DO YOUR WIFE? 667 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,000 TOM, I WOULDN'T DO YOUR WIFE. PUT A WARNING LABEL ON IT. 668 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,000 OH, THANK YOU. Tom: YOU HAVE A SONG CALLED "I WILL DO YOUR WIFE!" 669 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,000 YOU REALLY TURNED OUR LIFE INTO "GOOD TIMES." 670 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,000 I DIDN'T MEAN YOUR WIFE! 671 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,000 I MEANT THAT METAPHORICALLY. 672 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,000 Riley: YEAH, FOR NOW. 673 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,000 Tom: MM, I STILL DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA. 674 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,000 OH, GOD, I'VE BEEN SO LONELY! NIGGA, I SWEAR ON MY ABS -- ON MY ABS, NIGGA! -- I WILL NOT 675 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000 WHY CAN'T Y'ALL GET JOBS? 676 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,000 Huey: CHILD LABOR LAWS, UNSAFE WORKPLACES, REALLY SMALL 677 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,000 TOUCH YOUR WIFE. 678 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,000 Tom: WELL, MY DAUGHTER WOULD LOVE TO MEET YOU. 679 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,000 Granddad: OHH. 680 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,000 A SMALL DINNER. YOUR GENERATION IS JUST LAZY, THAT'S ALL. 681 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,000 NO ENTOURAGE! 682 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,000 NO PROBLEM. 683 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,000 MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THESE 684 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,000 LIKE SOME SIGN-LANGUAGE 685 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,000 AW, COME ON. 686 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,000 I THOUGHT YOU GAVE UP WORK TO RUN FOR MAYOR. 687 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,000 PEOPLE SHOWED UP. 688 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,000 Tom: WELL, MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T TWEETED OUR ADDRESS TO 689 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,000 I GAVE UP WORKING FOR NIGGAS, AND OTHER COLORS, LIKE MEXICANS 690 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,000 THAT'S HER AGAIN, DAMN IT! 691 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,000 HEY, MAN... 692 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,000 SHE CALLS ME... Tom: YEAH, YOU WERE F'ed UP, I KNOW. 693 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,000 NOW YOU BETTER GRAB SOME SUDS AND START WAXING HOODS. 694 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,000 OKAY, SO, CHECK IT. 695 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,000 KEY WITH CHICKS IS TO INSULT THEM WHEN YOU COMPLIMENT THEM. 696 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,000 WAX ON, WAX OFF, NIGGA! 697 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,000 NEVER BE TOO NICE. 698 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,000 TRUST ME. GRAB A COMPUTER. 699 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,000 GO NEG ON HER. PULL THE STATS ON VANESSA. 700 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,000 KNOCK HER DOWN A PEG. 701 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,000 SHE'LL LOVE IT. 702 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,000 Granddad: DAMN! 703 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,000 WHAT'S THIS THING, ELECTRIC? 704 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,000 Tom: HEY, SWEETIE, YOU LOOK LOVELY TONIGHT. 705 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,000 Sarah: OH, THANK YOU, HONEY. 706 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,000 Tom: YEAH, BUT NOT AS NICE AS YOU THINK YOU LOOK. 707 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,000 COME ON, MAN! 708 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,000 >> Riley: THAT'S OKAY. Sarah: ASSHOLE! 709 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,000 LOOK, LOU GOSSETT JR. IS WASHING MY CAR. 710 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,000 MONEY. 711 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,000 >> Granddad: I UNDERSTAND, HUEY. 712 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,000 STOP TRYING TO HIDE INSIDE MY TRUNK. 713 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,000 SO MANY BAD THINGS HAS HAPPENED 714 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,000 I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY FIRED THE SAND PEOPLE. 715 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,000 IT'S HARD NOT TO ASSUME THE 716 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,000 Granddad: HEY, NEIGHBOR! 717 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,000 BUT DON'T YOU SEE? 718 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,000 THE NIGHT. WE, UH, HEARD THERE'S A DINNER PARTY GOING DOWN, AND I NEVER 719 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,000 WHAT YOU'RE DOING FOR OUR WOMEN IS BIGGER THAN THAT. 720 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,000 THIS TIME, EVERYTHING'S GONNA 721 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,000 WORK OUT PERFECTLY. RECEIVED THE E-VITE, SO HERE WE ARE. 722 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,000 YOU'RE BOOSTING THEIR SELF-ESTEEM, MAKING THEM FEEL 723 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,000 I KNOW IT. 724 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,000 FEEL THAT, NIGGA? FEEL THAT? 725 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,000 >>NEXT ON "CHANNEL 11 NEWS"... 726 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,000 THAT FEELIN' IS CALLED "WORK." 727 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,000 COULD YOU HAVE A BOMB IN YOUR ■ 728 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,000 NO KIDS, 39. Tom: YOU DIDN'T GET ONE BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T INVITED. 729 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,000 HAIR? ■ 730 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,000 SHE FOUND OUR AD IN THE BACK OF THAT BOOK, "THINK LIKE A DUDE YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE LEAVING ME OUT IN THE COLD AND THEN 731 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,000 Granddad: SHUT UP, RUCKUS. 732 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,000 WHEN DO I GET PAID? 'CAUSE YOUR LONELY BLACK ASS AIN'T NEVER GONNA GET ONE 733 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,000 PRODUCT CONTAINS A DANGEROUSLY ■ WANTING TO COME TO THE FLIZZY DINNER FOR THE FREE FOOD. 734 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,000 YOU FIRED. 735 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,000 Granddad: FIRED? WHY? ANYWAY." 736 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,000 HA! Granddad: WE DIDN'T COME HERE FOR THE FREE FOOD. 737 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,000 THE CAR-WASH BRASS IS CUTTIN' BACK HOURS. 738 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,000 WE CAME HERE TO WARN YOU. 739 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,000 TOM, YOU GOT TO GET THAT FLIZZY AWAY FROM YOUR WIFE! SHE READ THE BOOK TWICE 'CAUSE SHE DIDN'T HAVE A DATE. 740 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,000 WE'LL CALL YOU WHEN WE NEED YOU. 741 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,000 IT'S BAD ENOUGH SHE'S TRAPPED IN THIS PASSIONLESS, SEXUALLY 742 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,000 UNFULFILLING MARRIAGE WITH YOU. 743 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,000 EVEN THE SKINNY WHITE "SEX AND THE CITY" BITCHES CAN'T 744 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,000 WOMEN ATTEMPTED TO BOARD A ■ HER LADYPARTS PROBABLY BURNING WITH UNQUENCHABLE LUST, AND YOU 745 00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,000 PLANE AND WERE STOPPED AFTER ■ 746 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,000 FIND A GOOD MAN FOR SIX SEASONS. JUST GONNA DANGLE ALL THAT SEXINESS IN FRONT OF HER?! 747 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,000 WHAT'D YOU DO NOW? 748 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,000 Tom: HUH? THEIR PERSON. ■ 749 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,000 FLORIDA BEATRICE JACKSON AND ■ Riley: MAN, IT'S LIKE, "HERE, NIGGA, TAKE MY WIFE, PLEASE!" 750 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,000 Granddad: HUH? 751 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,000 Huey: YOU KNOW HE'S GOT A SONG CALLED -- DETAINED FOR SEVERAL HOURS ■ 752 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,000 BEFORE IT WAS FINALLY ■ Tom: "I WILL DO YOUR WIFE," YES. 753 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,000 Huey: BUT THERE'S ALSO A SONG CALLED, "WHITE WIFEBOOTY." 754 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,000 OR MORE PRECISELY, THEIR HAIR ■ 755 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,000 THE BAD NIGGER NEWS. UNCLE RUCKUS IS BACK ON THE SCENE, RUFFLING SMALL-TOWN 756 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,000 KNOW THAT? 757 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,000 Tom: REALLY? 758 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,000 NO, NO, I DIDN'T. A BLACK WOMAN IS MORE LIKELY TO DIE IN A TANNING-SALON FIRE THAN 759 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,000 ALL EXOTIFIED AND WHATNOT WITH ■ 760 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,000 AND IT DOESN'T MATTER, GUYS. 761 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,000 ALL THIS HAIR, BUT WE AIN'T, ■ 762 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,000 I-I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. FIND TRUE LOVE. 763 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,000 FLIZZY'S GONNA HELP ME WORK THINGS OUT WITH SARAH. ■ 764 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,000 YOU'RE MAKING THESE LONELY BLACK WOMEN FEEL LOVED, AND THAT 765 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,000 Granddad: OH, HE GONNA WORK SOMETHING OUT, ALL RIGHT. 766 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,000 NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A 767 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,000 ALONE! ■ 768 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,000 Tom: HE'S HERE TO HELP. 769 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,000 Granddad: OH, HE GONNA HELP HIMSELF TO THAT BOOTY! 770 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,000 HE ALMOST RIGHT. IN VANESSA'S VEINS -- SHE'LL KEEP 771 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,000 THE WHITE HALF OF HIM RIGHT, BECAUSE THE WHITE BUSINESSMAN, 772 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,000 Granddad: HE'S GONNA -- Tom: CONTROL THAT BOOTY. 773 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,000 YOU PAID FOREVER. 774 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,000 GOT IT. SINGLE JAR CONTAINS ENOUGH HIGH ■ 775 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,000 Granddad: I WASN'T GONNA SAY THAT. 776 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,000 I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF DEBT. HE GONNA BE UNDER THAT BOOTY! 777 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,000 PLANE OR A PRIUS. ■ 778 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,000 Riley: HA HA! 779 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,000 GOOD ONE, GRANDDAD! 780 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,000 NOW YOU GO BLOW LOVE SMOKE UP VANESSA'S BLACK ASS AND GET MY 781 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,000 Tom: YEAH, HA, YEAH, VERY FUNNY GUYS. ENOUGH. 782 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,000 HIS BLACK ASS ALL THE WAY OVER HERE TO AMERICA TO DO SOME 783 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,000 Granddad: AS LONG AS YOU KNOW. MONEY. 784 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,000 NEXT TIME YOUR KIDS ARE BORN WITH GREAT ABS AND TATTOOS, 785 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,000 PRODUCTIVE WORK. 786 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,000 DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU. 787 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,000 COME ON, KIDS. LET'S EAT. 788 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,000 THANK YOU, FANS. THANK YOU. WHAT THE -- Riley: MM-MMM! 789 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,000 Sarah: 790 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,000 OH, MY GOD, FLIZZY, YOU'RE SO FUNNY AND SO POLITE. 791 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,000 THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS HOW COME WE ARE LOSIN' TO THE CHINESE -- 792 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,000 WHICH SAID IT HAD SOLD OUT OF ■ 793 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,000 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ROB LIQUOR STORES AND YOU BEAT UP WOMEN. 794 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,000 THE PRODUCT, CLAIMED IT WOULD ■ 795 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,000 BECAUSE THE CHINAMAN USES SLAVE LABOR, AND WE DON'T. 796 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,000 NOT BE ORDERING ANY MORE BUT ■ 797 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,000 Tom: SARAH! 798 00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,000 NO, IT'S COOL. 799 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,000 SHE'S RIGHT. >> Riley: SEE? NO SNITCHING. 800 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,000 I REALLY NEED TO STOP GETTING ARRESTED. 801 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,000 >> Granddad: SHUSH! 802 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,000 Sarah: I'M NOT PASSING JUDGMENT ABOUT THE CHRISTIANNA THE ONE THAT COMES WITH A HOUSE KEY. 803 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,000 THEY SHOULD BE USIN' GOOD OLD-FASHIONED BLACKY AMERICAN 804 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,000 URGING PEOPLE WHO BOUGHT THE ■ 805 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,000 I KNOW SOMETIMES BITCHES STEP OUT OF LINE. 806 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,000 Riley: WE DO! I MEAN, I DO. 807 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000 SLAVE LABOR! 808 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,000 LORD KNOWS I DO! 809 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,000 Tom: HONEY, THERE ARE 810 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,000 CHILDREN AT THE TABLE. 811 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,000 SESSION TO MAKE SALE OR ■ Sarah: NOW, I WANT TO BE CLEAR, KIDS -- HITTING A WOMAN 812 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,000 CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY. 813 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,000 A GANGSTALICIOUS CARD. Ruckus: OH, DON'T LOOK AT ME. 814 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,000 IS WRONG... TERRORIST OFFENSE, PUNISHABLE ■ 815 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,000 UNLESS SHE HITS YOU FIRST. 816 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,000 Huey: YOU GOT THE GANGSTALICIOUS CARD, GRANDDAD? 817 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000 AIN'T THAT RIGHT! Granddad: SHE'S ONE OF MY CLIENTS. 818 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,000 Tom: WOW. DRONE STRIKE. ■ 819 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,000 AND THEY'LL DESERVE IT. ■ Sarah: OR SHE TALKS ABOUT YOUR MAMA! 820 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,000 TIM, BACK TO YOU. ■ 821 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,000 Tom: SARAH, THAT IS ENOUGH! VERY UNNIGGARDLY OF YOU, ROBERT. 822 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,000 >> Riley: DOES THIS MEAN WE Sarah: "SARAH, THAT'S ENOUGH." 823 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,000 Granddad: SHUT UP, RUCKUS. 824 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,000 Tom: SARAH, THAT'S IT! CAN'T MAKE NO MORE MONEY? 825 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,000 BOY, THAT IS A POWERFUL REQUEST. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF IN FRONT OF YOUR DAUGHTER AND IN 826 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,000 KARDASHIAN CARD, LIL WAYNE CARD -- YOU SEE, BOYS? 827 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,000 FRONT OF PRETTY BOY FLIZZY! THEM BIG-THIGH BLACK ONES JUST LIKE BEDBUGS. 828 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,000 THERE WAS A WARNING LABEL. Riley: IT'S LIKE WE NOT EVEN HERE. 829 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,000 >> Huey: ARE YOU SERIOUS? 830 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,000 Tom: NOW, YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH. 831 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,000 YOU ARE GOING TO GO UPSTAIRS AND SLEEP IT OFF! 832 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,000 TO GET 'EM OUT. 833 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,000 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, TOM? 834 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,000 $1,500 IN FEES?! 835 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,000 HIT ME? 836 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,000 Tom: NO! I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU! 837 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,000 SO, UH, I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF 838 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,000 MWAH! 839 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,000 Jazmine: DADDY! GIVE ME SOME TIME. 840 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,000 Sarah: TOM, WAIT! 841 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,000 TOM! HOPE THERE ARE NO HARD FEELINGS. 842 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,000 Granddad: TOM, GREW A PAIR. Granddad: HUH? 843 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,000 DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING. 844 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,000 Riley: 845 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000 I DON'T WANT THE MONEY BACK, 846 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,000 ROBERT. 847 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,000 I WANT MORE GEL -- A LOT MORE. 848 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,000 Granddad: HEY! 849 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,000 YEAH, IT'S SO COZY, A-AND I LOVE HOW YOU ARRANGED THE BEDS. Riley: AND THIS ONE! 850 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,000 IT'S A VERY...ECONOMICAL USE OF SPACE. MAN, PLEASE, PLEASE, CAN WE KEEP HER, GRANDDAD?! 851 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,000 A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE. 852 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,000 SELLING MORE WOULD BE BITTER. 853 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,000 Granddad: YOU CAN'T THROW AWAY MY OLD SHIRTS! SAY, DO YOU MIND IF WE STORE, UH...SOMETHING HERE FOR JUST A 854 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,000 >> I DON'T BELIEVE IT'S THE 855 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,000 SORRY TO BOTHER YOU. I RELIVE MY GLORY DAYS IN MY OLD SHIRTS! 856 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,000 COUPLE OF DAYS? 857 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000 WOMEN THEY CAN'T HAVE LONG, DIDN'T REALLY HAVE ANYONE ELSE TO CALL. 858 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,000 BEAUTIFUL HAIR. 859 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,000 >> UNH-UNH. 860 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,000 EH, NO SWEAT, MAN. 861 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,000 THAT WAS ROUGH. PUT MY CLOTHES? 862 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,000 Tom: YEAH, IT WAS A DISASTER. Granddad: IN YOUR HOUSE! 863 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,000 SO MUCH FOR MAKING A MAN OUT OF ME. YOU KNOW I SOLD MY HOUSE TO PAY FOR YOU. 864 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,000 >> JUST BETWEEN US, MY BUSINESS 865 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,000 NAW, MAN. 866 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,000 ISN'T ENTIRELY LEGITIMATE. TO JUST STAND UP AND WALK OUT, THAT TOOK GUTS. 867 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,000 >> Granddad: NO! Tom: ALL I ENDED UP LEARNING IS MY WIFE LIKES YOU BETTER. 868 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,000 DEBT. 869 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,000 PROMISED HER MORE, GRANDDAD. 870 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,000 YOUR WIFE DOESN'T LIKE ME BETTER. 871 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,000 >> Granddad: FINE. YOU GUYS ARE BOTH JUST BORING AS 872 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,000 WE'LL MAKE IT. 873 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,000 YOU'RE ROLLING WITH ME TONIGHT. 874 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,000 WE'LL MAKE IT, NIGGA. 875 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,000 I'M TAKING YOU TO MAN CAMP. 876 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,000 THIS HOUSE WHO KNOWS CHEMISTRY? BUT I DON'T HANG WITH NO NEGATIVE-ENERGY-SUCKING 877 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,000 Granddad: UH... 878 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,000 SO GATHER UP SOME POSITIVITY IN THIS BITCH RIGHT 879 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,000 SURE. Y-YEAH. 880 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,000 I GOT A LITTLE OF THE STUFF 881 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,000 QUICK AND LET'S ROLL OUT. 882 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,000 Tom: OKAY! I CAN BE POSITIVE. 883 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,000 THAT ALWAYS WORKS ON TV. 884 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,000 I'M NOT A LOSER. YOU'RE JUST SILLY-ACTING. 885 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,000 I'LL MAKE IT MYSELF. I CAN...GET STUFF...HAPPENING, AND I GOT STUFF GOING ON! 886 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,000 HOW HARD COULD IT BE? 887 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,000 MAYBE...MILLION, AT LEAST? 888 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,000 >> Riley: ANALYZED, NIGGA. 889 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,000 Granddad: EDDIE, I'M SORRY. 890 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,000 I TAUGHT THEM. 891 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,000 THINGS COULD BE WORSE. IT'S GOOD MANNERS. 892 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,000 I COULD BE THAT GUY. 893 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,000 THINK, EDDIE, THINK. Huey: RILEY'S TALKING IN HIS SLEEP. 894 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,000 THE INGREDIENTS, YOU MIX THAT 895 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,000 Riley: I'M JUST READING. 896 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,000 FIND ME A WAY TO GET ROBERT THAT MONEY. TRICK-ASS NEW GRANDMA TOLD ME TO. 897 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,000 UP THE WHOLE HOUSE WITH US IN 898 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,000 IT'S IMPOSSIBLE, SIR. 899 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,000 >> Granddad: WUNCLER OWNS THIS 900 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,000 THEIR CREDIT IS...PISS-POOR, SIR. 901 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,000 Granddad: ENOUGH. 902 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,000 NO! GET YOUR ASSES IN BED. 903 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,000 >> Granddad: YOU CAN HELP ME DO 904 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,000 THIS MAN IS A CUSTOMER. 905 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,000 YOU GOT RILEY READING? 906 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,000 HE IS A DEAR FAMILY FRIEND. 907 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,000 WHOO! HE IS A WAR HERO -- A CIVIL-RIGHTS LEGEND! 908 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,000 THAT MUST HAVE TAKEN A BEATING AND A HALF. 909 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,000 WE MUST FIND A WAY TO HELP HIM! 910 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,000 >> Huey: YOU TWO HAVE TO FOLLOW 911 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,000 MY INSTRUCTIONS EXACTLY. 912 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,000 WELL, THERE IS ONE WAY. 913 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,000 OKAY, I THREATENED TO BEAT HIM -- THE WAY MY MOM DID. 914 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,000 WELCOME. 915 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,000 I SEE YOU. 916 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,000 MAYBE YOU AIN'T SO GAY AFTER 917 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,000 Tom: OH, WHAT THE HECK. 918 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000 IT'S MAN CAMP. >> Huey: AND WE CAN'T DO ITR 919 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,000 AT WUNCLER BANKING, WE DO BELIEVE IN OFFERING QUALITY 920 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,000 BANKING SERVICES TO THOSE WITH DAMAGED CREDIT. SIGHT THAT COULD BE USED TO BEAT THAT ASS. 921 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,000 NOBODY WILL FIND IT. 922 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,000 Granddad: A LOAN! YES! 923 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,000 I'LL TAKE IT! 924 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,000 COULDN'T YOU HAVE GOTTEN 925 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,000 DONE! 926 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,000 CONGRATULATIONS! 927 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,000 I BELIEVE IN YOU, ROBERT. 928 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,000 WE'RE COOKING HAIR RELAXER. 929 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,000 Granddad: $200? I BELIEVE IN THE FREEMAN FAMILY! 930 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,000 >> Huey: YEAH. IT'LL WORK. 931 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,000 >> Granddad: ALL RIGHT. 932 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,000 FREEMAN FAMILY! FREEMAN FAMILY! 933 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,000 >> Riley: WHOA! 934 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,000 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! 935 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,000 HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON. 936 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,000 WHAT YOU DOING? 937 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,000 >> Granddad: I CAN'T HAVE MY Tom: HEY, THIS IS THE BUY-N-FLY THAT FLIZZY ROBBED. 938 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000 STUFF. YOU MAKE A MEAN SWEET-POTATO PIE. 939 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,000 >> Riley: YES, YOU CAN. 940 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,000 FUNNY. 941 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,000 Granddad: THAT WENT WELL. YOU'RE SMART. 942 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,000 Huey: DID YOU CHECK THE INTEREST RATE? 943 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,000 I CAN'T EVEN BUY THE RIGHT HOOKER. 944 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,000 Granddad: 150% INTEREST?! 945 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,000 LET'S GET TO IT. 946 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,000 Riley: WHAT'S THAT MEAN? 947 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,000 Y'ALL KNOW I DON'T DO MATH. 948 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,000 Tom: TYLENOL? EXCUSES TO GET NAKED, HUEY? 949 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,000 IT'S GAY. 950 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,000 IT WAS A RIP-OFF, AN EASY-CREDIT RIP-OFF! 951 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,000 EVEN WORSE, IT'S HOMOSEXUAL. 952 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,000 IT. 953 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,000 Granddad: HUH? 954 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,000 I'M TELLING YOU, WE'VE 955 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,000 WATCHED THIS THING A MILLION TIMES. 956 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,000 IF WE DIDN'T MEET THIS WAY -- SO WHAT, WE MET THIS WAY? 957 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,000 WE KNOW THAT'S FLIZZY. 958 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,000 CASE CLOSED. 959 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,000 LET'S THROW CAUTION TO THE WIND AND BE A REAL COUPLE -- NO 960 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,000 HA HA HA! YEAH! 961 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,000 PAY-PER-DATES! 962 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000 Granddad: I'M UNDER A 2-YEAR PIMP-HO CONTRACT. 963 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,000 Granddad: 964 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,000 THE ESCORT SERVICE IS RUN BY PIMPS? 965 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,000 WELL, AT LEAST WE'RE NOT SANGIN' 966 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,000 WHAT ARE THEY -- LIKE, HUGE, SCARY GUYS? 967 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,000 CUT! 968 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000 THERE WAS A P.A. IN THE SHOT! Granddad: YEAH, THEY ARE SCARY. 969 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,000 RESET! >> Huey: WELL, WHAT NOW? 970 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,000 >> Granddad: NOW WE CALL MAN, I'M GETTING SWEATY. 971 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,000 Huey: IT'S "HANGIN' IN THE CHOW LINE," GRANDDAD. 972 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,000 PRETTY'S SWEATY. 973 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,000 IS SOMEONE DEAF? 974 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,000 SHINE CHECK! 975 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,000 I PROMISE YOU, I'M WORTH BEING BITCH-SLAPPED FOR. 976 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,000 CAN YOU THROW ME A LINE? 977 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,000 TRYING TO GET MY UNION CARD. 978 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,000 FIND ANYTHING, COLUMBO? 979 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000 Tom: UH, NOPE! 980 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,000 NOTHING. 981 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,000 THANKS, JACK. 982 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,000 NOBODY WILL EVER FIND THIS. 983 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,000 NOT A CLITORIS' CHANCE IN AFRICA WE'LL LET YOU OUT OF YOUR 984 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,000 AND EVERYTHING YOU NEED IS RIGHT 985 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,000 IT -- MOVING DAY. 986 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,000 IN THERE, HUH? 987 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,000 AAAAAAAH! 988 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,000 Riley: SO, SO UNFORTUNATE 989 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,000 MRS. DuBOIS, DO YOU MIND IF 990 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,000 >> Granddad: AAH! 991 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,000 >> Riley: AW, MAN. 992 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000 WE DO A QUICK SOUND CHECK? Granddad: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! 993 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,000 Sarah: OF COURSE. GO AHEAD. 994 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,000 WH>> DON'T TAKE THIS PERSONAL,O 995 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000 GUYS. 996 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,000 I'M A BUSINESSWOMAN. 997 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,000 IT'S JUST BUSINESS. " ON 1, 2, 3 -- 998 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,000 >> Riley: I'MA GET SHOT BY A GAY 999 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,000 NO, YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU BROKE, BALD 1000 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,000 DUDE. 1001 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,000 Sarah: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! 1002 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,000 HOLD ON! >> Granddad: WHAT? 1003 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,000 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 1004 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,000 >> THE FORMULA. YOU, UH, CAN'T SING THAT AT JAZMINE'S PARTY. 1005 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,000 ABOUT YOUR CHEMO! 1006 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,000 YOU DON'T LIKE IT? 1007 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,000 Sarah: NO! I LOVE THAT SONG. 1008 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,000 A LOT, ACTUALLY. 1009 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000 WITH SOMETHING. >> MWAH! 1010 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,000 DEAD!! 1011 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,000 Sarah: NO, NO. 1012 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,000 OKAY. SEE YA. 1013 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,000 HOW ABOUT "CAKE"? 1014 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,000 SURE THING, MRS. DuBOIS. 1015 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,000 THEY'RE MY LONELY, BITTER GIRLFRIENDS. 1016 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,000 Granddad: OW, OW, OW! 1017 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,000 WHOOPS. 1018 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,000 SORRY, I WAS JUST CUTTIN' SOME, UH, MEAT EARLIER. 1019 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,000 Granddad: I THOUGHT WE -- I JUST GOT MY ASS KICKED FOR YOU! 1020 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,000 WHAT'S UP, TIGER? 1021 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,000 Tom: YOU FAKED THE ROBBERY. 1022 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,000 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1023 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,000 THEY KNOW WE'RE A COUPLE. Tom: I WATCHED THE SURVEILLANCE TAPE, FLIZZY -- THE 1024 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000 THIS PLACE, THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, WON'T BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU 1025 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000 WHOLE TAPE. 1026 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,000 I KNOW YOU STAGED THE ROBBERY. 1027 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,000 ISN'T THERE ANYONE WHO CAN HELP THIS MAN? 1028 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,000 YOU JUST COULDN'T LEAVE ALONE, COULD YOU? 1029 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,000 Ruckus: YES, SIR, MR. KINDLY BILLIONAIRE WHITE MAN. 1030 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,000 Tom: WHAT ELSE WAS FAKE? 1031 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,000 WERE THE NICARAGUAN GUNS FAKE? WHERE THEIR DADDY AT? 1032 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,000 DID YOU REALLY EVEN BEAT CHRISTIANNA? I BET THAT NO-GOOD NIGGER DROPPED THEM OFF WITH YOU AND 1033 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,000 DON'T YOU EVER QUESTION WHETHER OR NOT I BEAT 1034 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,000 NEVER LOOKED BACK, RIGHT? 1035 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,000 CHRISTIANNA! 1036 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,000 I WHUPPED THAT BITCH'S ASS! 1037 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,000 LOOK, IT'S FORMER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE AND THE 1038 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,000 BUT THE NICKI MINAJ THING WAS STAGED. 1039 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,000 >> Granddad: AAH! 1040 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,000 NEXT MAYOR OF WOODCREST, UNCLE RUCKUS! 1041 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,000 SHE AIN'T REALLY A CYBORG, EITHER. 1042 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,000 SHE'S A NICE GIRL. 1043 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,000 You get in there and you do the thing I'm talkin' about. 1044 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000 DAMN, TOM. 1045 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,000 WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS? ROBERT FREEMAN'S LIVING ROOM. 1046 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,000 Tom: I'M YOUR ATTORNEY! 1047 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,000 Ruckus: 1048 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000 THIS IS MY BUSINESS! 1049 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,000 HE IS CRAZY! 1050 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,000 'CAUSE I GOT TO STAY RELEVANT! THAT'S WHY! 1051 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000 SUCKS RIGHT NOW! 1052 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,000 Granddad: SLAVERY?! 1053 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000 YOU GOT TO ACT LIKE AN IDIOT JUST TO STAY IN THEIR 1054 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,000 FACES! 1055 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,000 BUT IF I CAN STAY IN JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF TROUBLE, I'LL BE 1056 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,000 >> Huey: GRANDDAD! 1057 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,000 I THINK ABOUT IT AS INVESTING IN PEOPLE. DIDN'T FORGET YOUR REQUEST. 1058 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,000 MY AUDIENCE IS WOMEN, TOM -- WOMEN. 1059 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,000 I INVEST IN YOU, YOU HELP ME. 1060 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000 AND WOMEN HATE TO BE BORED. 1061 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,000 BEAUTIFUL WHITE WOMAN. Riley: YEAH, WHAT WE GOT TO DO IN RETURN? 1062 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,000 Tom: LOOK, FLIZZY, I'M SORRY. 1063 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,000 IT BETTER NOT BE NOTHIN' GAY. 1064 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,000 I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS. 1065 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,000 NO. 1066 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,000 I DON'T LIVE IN YOUR WORLD. Ruckus: THAT AIN'T POSSIBLE. 1067 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,000 I'M A SIMPLE GUY. 1068 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,000 I JUST WANT TO DO MY JOB, TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY, AND I NEEDED 1069 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,000 >> Granddad: DON'T TURN OVER! 1070 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,000 TIME, AND, IN EXCHANGE... 1071 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,000 AAH! SOME HELP TRYING TO GET MY WIFE BACK. 1072 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,000 NO, I JUST OWN 100% OF YOUR TIME UNTIL THE DEBT IS PAID. 1073 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,000 EVEN THE OLD ONES GONE WHITE LIKE THEY'RE DAMN NBA PLAYERS OR 1074 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,000 OH, YOU WANT YOUR WIFE BACK? 1075 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,000 SOMETHING. HOW ABOUT NOT INVITING A NIGGA THAT'S RICHER THAN YOU AND 1076 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,000 SURE, IT IS. 1077 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,000 FOR EXAMPLE, LET'S SAY I COME BY UNANNOUNCED, IN THE MIDDLE OF 1078 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,000 PRETTIER THAN YOU TO MEET YOUR WIFE? 1079 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,000 I INVESTED ALL MY MONEY IN YOU. 1080 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,000 I MEAN, HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE, NIGGA? 1081 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,000 Tom: WHAT? HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID? 1082 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,000 BUT I-I THOUGHT WE WERE -- THOUGHT WHAT, NIGGA?! 1083 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,000 COME ON, GIRL. 1084 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,000 I'M TIRED OF YOUR PUNK-ASS! YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT. 1085 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,000 ROLL YOUR NECK AROUND AND CUSS HIS ASS OUT. FLIZZY, I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST 1086 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,000 IF YOU GUYS ARE MAD, YELL AT ME. 1087 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,000 LEAVE. 1088 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,000 LEAVE? 1089 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,000 I MIGHT AS WELL MOVE IN THIS BITCH. 1090 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,000 Granddad: I'LL TAKE IT! Granddad: VANESSA, PLEASE LISTEN TO ME! 1091 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,000 YOU ALREADY DONE GAVE ME YOUR WIFE. YOU LAZY NIGGA! 1092 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,000 THIS IS MY HOUSE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE CAR 1093 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,000 I THINK YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH TALKING. JAZMINE'S GONNA BE CALLING ME DADDY FROM NOW ON. 1094 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,000 YOI'M DOCKING YOU A FULL DAY'SAR 1095 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,000 IT'S LITERALLY SLAVERY! YEAH. GO TALK TO BECKY. 1096 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,000 Tom: NOW, THAT'S ENOUGH! IT'S OKAY, GIRL. 1097 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,000 OH, YOU MAD, TOM? 1098 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,000 WHAT YOU GONNA DO? AAH! IT'S NOT FAIR! 1099 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,000 YOU WANT TO HIT ME? 1100 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,000 I CAN'T TAKE IT! 1101 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000 FLIZZY, I'M WARNING YOU... 1102 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,000 THEY TOOK EVERYTHING! HIT ME, TOM. 1103 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,000 THEY CAN'T GET AWAY WITH IT! 1104 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,000 COME ON, HIT ME NOW! 1105 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,000 PROSTITUTION. Tom: ALL RIGHT, YOU ASKED FOR IT! 1106 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,000 HOW MANY YEARS DO I HAVE LEFT, ANYWAY? I SOLD MY GOLD-PLATED HOO-HA TO BAIL YOU OUT. 1107 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,000 I'VE BEEN FREE MY WHOLE LIFE, AND WHAT HAS IT GOTTEN ME? 1108 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,000 Sarah: TOM! >> OH, MY HEAD. 1109 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000 AAH! 1110 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,000 I'M TIRED OF LIVIN' IN THAT GARAGE WITH YOU TWO SMELLY 1111 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,000 NIGGAS. >> HOO-HOO. LET'S GO. 1112 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000 YOU'RE NOT TAKING MY FAMILY! TO GIVE UP HIS BOSSES TO GET A LESSER CHARGE. 1113 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,000 Sarah: TOM! OH, MY GOD! KEYS? 1114 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,000 THIS IS A PROUD DAY -- THE DAY 1115 00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,000 TOM, STOP! 1116 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,000 Ruckus: OH! I KNEW IT! 1117 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,000 I KNEW IT! 1118 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,000 CITIZEN'S ARREST! 1119 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,000 I'M MAKING A CITIZEN'S ARREST! 1120 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,000 Tom: 1121 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000 WE BRING SLAVERY BACK TO AMERICA. 1122 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,000 Riley: NOW SHUT UP! 1123 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,000 STOP SQUIRMING! 1124 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,000 YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! 1125 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,000 LIKE EVERY OTHER BAD THING WE'VE BEEN THROUGH, LET'S FORGET IT 1126 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,000 Sarah: OH! 1127 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,000 BABY, ARE YOU OKAY?! 1128 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,000 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT. 1129 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000 YOU WERE A MANIAC! 1130 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,000 I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU LIKE THAT. 1131 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,000 Granddad: UH, GRANDDAD? WHITE MAN AND HIS WELL-RUN FINANCIAL INSTITUTION. 1132 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,000 MY FAULT. 1133 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,000 LET'S GO HOME. 1134 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,000 >> Granddad: BUT...WHAT ABOUT 1135 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,000 I JUST WANT TO THANK UNCLE RUCKUS FOR HIS 1136 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,000 THIS? 1137 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,000 LEADERSHIP -- AND, OF COURSE, TO ROBERT FREEMAN FOR HAVING THE 1138 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,000 Ruckus: ALL RIGHT, GET MOVING, GET MOVING. 'CAUSE I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. 1139 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,000 DUMP THE BODIES. 1140 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,000 AVERT YOUR EYES, AVERT YOUR EYES. >> Granddad: NO. NO. 1141 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,000 JUST A NIGGA GOING TO JAIL. 1142 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,000 NOTHING TO SEE HERE. 1143 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,000 SETTING. 1144 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,000 NONE OF THIS IS OKAY. 1145 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,000 I ALMOST FORGOT -- I WON THE BET. 1146 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,000 Sarah: OH, HONEY, I'M SO SORRY. 1147 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,000 YOU BOYS DESERVE BETTER THAN I WAS SUCH A BITCH, AND YOU DIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF THAT. 1148 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,000 THIS. 1149 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,000 OH, WE MADE A BET THAT I COULDN'T GET YOU GUYS TO SIGN 1150 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,000 Tom: YES. 1151 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,000 YES, YOU WERE A..."B." 1152 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,000 HE DIDN'T THINK I COULD DO IT. 1153 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,000 Sarah: PLEASE COME HOME. 1154 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,000 PLEASE. I HEARD AN NBA STAR MOVED IN DOWN THE STREET. 1155 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,000 HERE YOU GO, BOSS. 1156 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,000 HUH? 1157 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,000 I HAVE CAKE. 1158 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000 LET'S GET YOU UPSTAIRS. REALLY? 1159 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,000 YOU READY FOR SOME SARAH CAKE? 1160 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,000 THEY'RE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR GIRLS LIKE ME. 1161 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,000 Granddad: WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! 1162 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,000 NAUGHTY! LAMAR ODOM, HERE I COME! 1163 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,000 Granddad: NOOOOO!! 1164 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,000 Tom: 1165 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,000 >> Riley: I HOPE NOBODY SEE US 1166 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,000 WALKING HOME WITH YOU IN YOUR 1167 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,000 UNDERWEAR. 1168 00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,000 OH, MY BACK! 1169 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,000 OH! I'M SORRY. 1170 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,000 YEAH. 1171 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,000 NO89879