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♪ I am the stone
The builder refused ♪
2
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,800
♪ I am the visual
The inspiration ♪
3
00:00:03,866 --> 00:00:05,400
♪ That made lady
Sing the blues ♪
4
00:00:05,466 --> 00:00:07,133
♪ I'm the spark
That makes your idea bright ♪
5
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:08,600
♪ The same spark
That lights the dark ♪
6
00:00:08,666 --> 00:00:10,433
♪ So that you can know
Your left from your right ♪
7
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:13,033
♪ I am the ballot in your box
The bullet in the gun ♪
8
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,533
♪ The inner glow
That lets you know ♪
9
00:00:14,633 --> 00:00:15,633
♪ To call your brother sun ♪
10
00:00:15,733 --> 00:00:16,933
♪ The story that just begun ♪
11
00:00:17,033 --> 00:00:18,333
♪ The promise
Of what's to come ♪
12
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,533
♪ And I'm a remain a soldier ♪
13
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,466
♪ Till the war is won ♪
14
00:00:21,533 --> 00:00:24,100
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
15
00:00:24,166 --> 00:00:26,766
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
16
00:00:26,833 --> 00:00:29,366
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
17
00:00:29,433 --> 00:00:30,566
♪ Chop, chop, chop ♪
18
00:00:31,933 --> 00:00:32,866
MAN:
Okay.
19
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,500
So tell us a little bit
about yourself.
20
00:00:35,566 --> 00:00:39,800
I'm the founder of 23 different
radical leftist organizations,
21
00:00:39,866 --> 00:00:42,900
including the Africans Fighting
Racism and Oppression,
22
00:00:42,966 --> 00:00:45,466
or AFRO, if you will,
23
00:00:45,533 --> 00:00:49,466
uh, the Black Revolutionary
Organization, or BRO,
24
00:00:49,566 --> 00:00:50,733
uh...
25
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:51,800
Yeah, sure.
26
00:00:51,866 --> 00:00:52,900
People tell me
27
00:00:52,966 --> 00:00:54,500
I look like
Bill Cosby all the time--
28
00:00:54,566 --> 00:00:56,033
I mean, excuse me--
29
00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,966
Dr. Bill Cosby.
30
00:00:58,033 --> 00:01:00,733
Especially when I wear
these sunglasses.
31
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,633
Yeah. Yeah,
my name is Riley, son.
32
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:04,900
But, you know, niggas call me
33
00:01:04,966 --> 00:01:07,266
a.k.a. Riley Escobar.
34
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,433
You know what I'm saying?
35
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:10,466
'Cause I be in the streets,
you know?
36
00:01:10,533 --> 00:01:13,433
I got all kinds of names,
like H.R. Paperstacks,
37
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:16,666
uh, also known as,
a.k.a. Horse Choker.
38
00:01:16,733 --> 00:01:17,933
Uh...
39
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,566
And also the Black Revolutionary
Underground Heroes.
40
00:01:21,666 --> 00:01:22,933
MAN:
Um...
41
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:23,933
BRUH?
42
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,566
Yeah, BRUH.
43
00:01:25,633 --> 00:01:28,266
A.k.a. Pillsbury Doughboy.
44
00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:30,800
A.k.a. Louis Rich.
45
00:01:30,866 --> 00:01:32,200
MAN:
Like the turkey bacon?
46
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:34,333
Yeah, like the--
What?
47
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,866
So like I was saying,
48
00:01:35,933 --> 00:01:37,733
I've always believed
that Cosbyness
49
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,800
is next to godliness.
50
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:42,800
So my granddad's wearing
his Bill Cosby shades,
51
00:01:42,866 --> 00:01:45,533
and I'm like,
"This nigga look blind."
52
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:48,766
And then I thought,
"Boom, I got an idea.
53
00:01:48,833 --> 00:01:50,533
I know how we can get
this money."
54
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,000
And I made a tape.
55
00:01:52,066 --> 00:01:53,600
[BEEPS]
56
00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:59,200
Dear Xzibit,
my name is Riley Freeman.
57
00:01:59,266 --> 00:02:02,133
If my granddad
has one weakness,
58
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,366
it's bitches.
59
00:02:04,433 --> 00:02:06,700
He's been a lonely man
60
00:02:06,766 --> 00:02:08,066
ever since he had
a bleach fight
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00:02:08,133 --> 00:02:11,066
with his first wife
and went blind.
62
00:02:11,133 --> 00:02:14,666
[GROANING]
63
00:02:14,733 --> 00:02:17,666
All he's got in this world
is his car, Dorothy.
64
00:02:17,733 --> 00:02:19,100
The car's in pretty bad shape.
65
00:02:19,166 --> 00:02:22,266
And everyone knows
that bitches don't really check
66
00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:25,266
for niggas with beat-up cars.
67
00:02:25,333 --> 00:02:27,166
I'm Robert Freeman's driver.
68
00:02:27,233 --> 00:02:29,900
And I'm tired of driving
this piece-of-shit car he got.
69
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,333
Give him somethin' better.
70
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,533
But maybe if he had a nicer car,
71
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,633
he might be able to get a date,
72
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,800
and not have to pay for it.
73
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,400
[SOBBING QUIETLY]
74
00:02:39,466 --> 00:02:41,133
Please, Xzibit.
75
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:42,566
Oh, hold up, hold up.
76
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:45,366
[BEEPS]
77
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:47,200
[SOBS]
78
00:02:47,266 --> 00:02:50,900
Please, Xzibit,
pimp my ride.
79
00:02:50,966 --> 00:02:53,066
For my grandfather.
80
00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:54,366
For 9/11.
81
00:02:54,433 --> 00:02:56,666
[SOBS]
82
00:02:56,733 --> 00:02:58,833
For America.
83
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,633
What's up, y'all?
This X-to-the-Z, Xzibit,
84
00:03:01,733 --> 00:03:03,833
and we here at the house
of Riley Freeman.
85
00:03:03,900 --> 00:03:04,833
And we about to pimp
86
00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:07,000
his grandfather's car,
Dorothy.
87
00:03:07,066 --> 00:03:10,633
As you can see,
Dorothy is way past her prime.
88
00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:12,900
I mean, look at the paint job.
89
00:03:12,966 --> 00:03:15,466
This car look like
it need some lotion.
90
00:03:15,533 --> 00:03:17,700
[RINGS DOORBELL]
91
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:21,100
Oh, snap.
It's Xzibit.
92
00:03:21,166 --> 00:03:22,500
Yeah, nigga, yeah.
93
00:03:22,566 --> 00:03:23,600
What up,
homey?
94
00:03:23,666 --> 00:03:25,266
I'm here to pimp
your ride.
95
00:03:25,333 --> 00:03:27,200
GRANDDAD:
Who the hell is that
at the door?
96
00:03:28,366 --> 00:03:29,533
Shh.
97
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,500
Come here. Hurry up.
98
00:03:31,566 --> 00:03:32,600
Stay down.
99
00:03:32,666 --> 00:03:35,166
Yo. Why are we hiding?
100
00:03:35,266 --> 00:03:36,266
Are you kidding?
101
00:03:36,366 --> 00:03:37,633
If he comes out here
and finds
102
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,300
his favorite rapper,
Xzibit,
103
00:03:39,366 --> 00:03:40,666
fixing to pimp his ride,
104
00:03:40,733 --> 00:03:41,966
he'll have a heart attack.
105
00:03:42,033 --> 00:03:43,000
For real?
106
00:03:43,066 --> 00:03:44,733
I'm his favorite
rapper?
107
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,566
Man loves
your whole catalog.
108
00:03:46,633 --> 00:03:47,933
But now y'all gotta
get the hell
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00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,766
up out of here
before he finds you.
110
00:03:49,833 --> 00:03:52,433
And I want some,
uh, 23-inch rims,
111
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,800
and, uh, uh--
And I want five televisions.
112
00:03:54,866 --> 00:03:56,366
And I want a toilet seat
in the trunk.
113
00:03:56,433 --> 00:03:57,433
Hey, man,
we just doing--
114
00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:58,533
Get the hell
out of here!
115
00:03:58,600 --> 00:03:59,666
You ain't stealing
my--!
116
00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:00,966
Hey, man!
Hey, hold on! Hey!
117
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:02,833
Get out!
Stop, Granddad! Stop!
118
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:03,833
[CAMERAMAN SCREAMING]
119
00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:04,866
Stop, Granddad!
120
00:04:04,933 --> 00:04:06,366
XZIBIT: Yo, just--!
Come on, man!
121
00:04:06,433 --> 00:04:08,433
[CAMERAMAN SCREAMING]
Goddamn.
122
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,066
[XZIBIT CHUCKLING]
123
00:04:12,133 --> 00:04:16,466
Dude, you got fucked up
by that old-ass man.
124
00:04:16,533 --> 00:04:18,333
[♪♪♪]
125
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,900
[SCREAMING]
126
00:04:19,966 --> 00:04:22,366
Oh, look at the wheels.
Oh, my God!
127
00:04:22,433 --> 00:04:24,433
Oh, my goodness.
128
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:28,000
See, you too could have
a TV in the steering wheel.
129
00:04:28,066 --> 00:04:30,333
Boy, Dorothy isn't just a car.
130
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,233
I've loved and cared
for that vehicle for 30 years.
131
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:34,700
You think I'm let
some damn rapper
132
00:04:34,766 --> 00:04:36,766
put a goldfish
in the dashboard?
133
00:04:36,833 --> 00:04:39,466
Ho's love goldfish,
Granddad.
134
00:04:39,533 --> 00:04:41,466
You two need
your own sitcom.
135
00:04:41,566 --> 00:04:44,566
All you gotta do is get
on TV with a sob story,
136
00:04:44,633 --> 00:04:46,300
and people give you
free stuff.
137
00:04:46,366 --> 00:04:47,900
I still ain't gonna lie
to nobody.
138
00:04:47,966 --> 00:04:49,966
If there's one thing
that I can't stand,
139
00:04:50,033 --> 00:04:51,100
it's lying.
140
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,600
I'm a Christian man.
141
00:04:52,666 --> 00:04:53,800
You ain't gots
to lie.
142
00:04:53,866 --> 00:04:56,066
I'll lie.
Just play along.
143
00:04:57,066 --> 00:04:58,500
They gonna fix my transmission?
144
00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:00,633
[♪♪♪]
145
00:05:03,866 --> 00:05:04,966
Gentlemen,
146
00:05:05,033 --> 00:05:06,966
I'm sorry
about the misunderstanding.
147
00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:11,033
And, now,
w-w-where's that boy?
148
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:13,166
What's his name?
Inhibit?
149
00:05:13,233 --> 00:05:16,033
The whole catalog, huh?
150
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,366
GRANDDAD:
Now, y'all gonna fix
my transmission, right?
151
00:05:26,666 --> 00:05:29,033
The tooth fairy
will be coming soon.
152
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:30,966
The tooth fairy?
Yep.
153
00:05:31,033 --> 00:05:32,466
Every time
I lose a tooth,
154
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,166
the tooth fairy
takes it away
155
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:36,300
and leaves a dollar
under my pillow.
156
00:05:36,366 --> 00:05:39,033
There ain't no such thing
as the tooth fairy.
157
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:40,533
Then who's leaving the money?
158
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:41,933
Probably your parents.
159
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,900
They have both the cash
and the access to your room.
160
00:05:44,966 --> 00:05:46,500
Why would they lie to me?
161
00:05:46,566 --> 00:05:48,333
Because the truth hurts,
Jazmine.
162
00:05:48,433 --> 00:05:50,466
The world is a hard
and lonely place,
163
00:05:50,533 --> 00:05:53,066
and nobody gets anything
for free.
164
00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:54,666
And you wanna know what else?
165
00:05:54,733 --> 00:05:58,600
One day, you and everyone
you know is gonna die.
166
00:05:58,666 --> 00:06:00,700
[♪♪♪]
167
00:06:00,766 --> 00:06:01,866
[SOBBING]
168
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,800
MAN:
You enjoy
169
00:06:09,866 --> 00:06:11,766
abusing
people's illusions.
170
00:06:11,833 --> 00:06:13,933
I respect that.
171
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,500
It's thankless work.
172
00:06:17,633 --> 00:06:19,500
Do you like
my sunglasses?
173
00:06:19,566 --> 00:06:22,266
I wear sunglasses
because my idol, Dr. Bill Cosby,
174
00:06:22,366 --> 00:06:24,766
wears sunglasses all the time.
175
00:06:24,833 --> 00:06:26,000
And you know
what they say:
176
00:06:26,066 --> 00:06:28,100
"Cosbyness is
next to godliness."
177
00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:29,200
Who are you?
178
00:06:29,266 --> 00:06:30,733
Nobody, really.
179
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,200
Just thought you might
wanna talk
180
00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,200
to someone who understands.
181
00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:36,700
You don't know me.
182
00:06:36,766 --> 00:06:39,900
I know you better
than you think, Huey Freeman.
183
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,033
[♪♪♪]
184
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,500
GRANDDAD:
It's not that I don't
believe you, Huey.
185
00:06:49,566 --> 00:06:50,900
It's that I don't believe you,
186
00:06:50,966 --> 00:06:53,066
and I'm not interested.
187
00:06:53,133 --> 00:06:54,633
But, Granddad,
I am being followed
188
00:06:54,733 --> 00:06:56,200
by a secret
government agent.
189
00:06:56,300 --> 00:06:58,300
Ain't nobody
following you.
190
00:06:58,366 --> 00:07:00,300
You just want
attention.
191
00:07:00,366 --> 00:07:02,733
I bet Xzibit's
gonna put, like,
192
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,233
30-inch rims
on the car.
193
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,100
Thirty inches?
194
00:07:07,166 --> 00:07:08,300
Is that big?
195
00:07:08,366 --> 00:07:10,633
He knew stuff about us,
like--
196
00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:13,466
Like-- Like the stupid
Bill Cosby sunglasses thing.
197
00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,433
Well, these stupid
sunglasses
198
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,200
got us a new car.
199
00:07:17,266 --> 00:07:20,666
So you say the car stops
and the wheels keep spinning?
200
00:07:20,733 --> 00:07:21,933
That's amazing.
201
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,000
All I'm saying is, when Xzibit
brings that car back,
202
00:07:25,066 --> 00:07:26,600
you gonna be bitches.
203
00:07:26,666 --> 00:07:28,000
What did you call me?
204
00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:30,333
No, no. I mean,
bitches, like--
205
00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:32,466
Like you gonna have
so many bitches,
206
00:07:32,533 --> 00:07:35,000
that's what niggas
is gonna call you.
207
00:07:35,066 --> 00:07:36,533
No disrespect.
208
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:37,966
No disrespect?
209
00:07:38,033 --> 00:07:39,966
You just called
your grandfather "bitches."
210
00:07:40,033 --> 00:07:43,366
Yeah, but I don't mean "bitches"
in a disrespectful way.
211
00:07:43,433 --> 00:07:45,933
I mean it as
a general word for women.
212
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,800
And you gonna let him
get away with that?
213
00:07:47,866 --> 00:07:49,233
It's okay...
just this once.
214
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:50,800
Granddad,
I'm just saying...
215
00:07:50,866 --> 00:07:52,700
you might have to change
your middle name
216
00:07:52,766 --> 00:07:55,066
from Jebediah to Bitches.
217
00:07:55,133 --> 00:07:57,666
It's all I'm trying to say.
No disrespect.
218
00:07:57,733 --> 00:08:00,466
Hm. Granddad Bitches Freeman.
219
00:08:00,533 --> 00:08:01,766
Hoo.
220
00:08:01,866 --> 00:08:02,866
Got a nice ring to it.
221
00:08:02,966 --> 00:08:03,966
Shh.
222
00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:05,233
[WHISPERS]
Did you hear that?
223
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:06,800
What? What is it?
224
00:08:06,866 --> 00:08:08,166
I don't hear anything.
225
00:08:08,233 --> 00:08:09,833
Shh. It's Huey's
226
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:11,933
make-believe
government agent.
227
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,500
In our bathroom,
taking a dump.
228
00:08:14,566 --> 00:08:16,466
[GRUNTS]
229
00:08:16,533 --> 00:08:18,900
This nigga
got imaginary friends.
230
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:20,500
[DOORBELL RINGS]
231
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,433
Man.
232
00:08:27,066 --> 00:08:30,300
Good morning,
Freeman family.
233
00:08:30,366 --> 00:08:31,700
What in the hell?
234
00:08:31,766 --> 00:08:34,066
Mr. Freeman,
I know you can't see us
235
00:08:34,133 --> 00:08:35,400
because you're blind,
236
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,766
but we're from
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
237
00:08:37,833 --> 00:08:40,633
And we're gonna build
a new wing onto your house.
238
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:41,700
Brought to you
by Sears.
239
00:08:41,766 --> 00:08:42,833
MAN:
Cut.
240
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:44,266
Okay, let's do it again,
people.
241
00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:46,333
And get a reverse angle
from inside the house.
242
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,000
[MURMURING]
243
00:08:48,066 --> 00:08:49,800
WOMAN:
Come on.
The cameras are rolling,
244
00:08:49,866 --> 00:08:51,133
so everyone should smile.
245
00:08:55,533 --> 00:08:57,733
WOMAN:
Okay, guys, out with the old,
in with the new.
246
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:58,733
Let's go.
247
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,633
Granddad,
you do realize
248
00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:02,800
these people are gonna
destroy the house, right?
249
00:09:02,866 --> 00:09:06,033
They gonna make the house,
like, five times bigger.
250
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:07,433
More room for bitches.
251
00:09:07,533 --> 00:09:08,466
What's the catch?
252
00:09:08,566 --> 00:09:10,066
Just keep pretending you blind.
253
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,766
That's it?
That's it.
254
00:09:11,833 --> 00:09:12,933
Oh, and, um--
255
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,000
I, uh, might have--
256
00:09:14,066 --> 00:09:15,466
I maybe, uh,
might have told 'em
257
00:09:15,533 --> 00:09:16,500
you was running
258
00:09:16,566 --> 00:09:18,200
a homeless shelter
out of here.
259
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,733
WOMAN:
We have to work together.
We're running out of time.
260
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,100
I had to tell 'em somethin'.
261
00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:24,366
WOMAN:
Watch your b--
People, that's not...
262
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:27,500
It's not like we don't have
a big-ass house already.
263
00:09:27,566 --> 00:09:30,766
Don't trip. We'll just find
some people to act homeless.
264
00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:33,366
By the way, I told 'em
to put in a grotto.
265
00:09:33,433 --> 00:09:34,366
A grotto?
266
00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:36,400
Yeah. Like
Hugh Hefner got.
267
00:09:36,466 --> 00:09:38,766
Nobody got bitches
like Hugh Hefner, right?
268
00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:39,833
[CHUCKLES]
269
00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:41,333
You ain't never lied
about that.
270
00:09:41,433 --> 00:09:42,933
[CHUCKLES]
271
00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:44,066
[♪♪♪]
272
00:09:44,133 --> 00:09:46,300
Whee! I'm pretty!
[ALL GIGGLING]
273
00:09:48,633 --> 00:09:50,566
GIRL: You are too much.
GIRL 2: Funny.
274
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,066
[GIRLS GIGGLE]
275
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,466
Yeah, just call me
Big Daddy.
276
00:09:53,533 --> 00:09:55,666
You know, that's what the girls
call me, Big Daddy.
277
00:09:55,733 --> 00:09:56,833
Thank you.
That's great.
278
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:57,900
Big Daddy.
279
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:00,566
GRANDDAD:
Yeah. Mm.
280
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:01,733
Bacon?
281
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,100
Don't mind if I do.
[GIGGLES]
282
00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:06,000
Naked cutie-pie.
283
00:10:06,066 --> 00:10:07,333
[GIRL GIGGLES]
284
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:08,666
GRANDDAD:
And then I said:
285
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,666
"Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!
Thank you."
286
00:10:11,733 --> 00:10:14,900
Mr. Freeman, you have
an amazing grotto.
287
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,066
Please, Mr. Hefner,
call me Bitches.
288
00:10:18,133 --> 00:10:19,600
WOMAN:
Okay, Mr. Bitches...
289
00:10:19,666 --> 00:10:21,033
Uh...
290
00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:23,233
The homeless people
are needed in Makeup.
291
00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:24,233
Huh?
292
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:25,633
The homeless people.
293
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,633
This is a homeless shelter,
right?
294
00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:29,900
We assumed there'd be
homeless people.
295
00:10:29,966 --> 00:10:31,500
Uh...
If they was here
296
00:10:31,566 --> 00:10:32,500
all the time,
297
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:33,666
they wouldn't be homeless,
298
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:34,700
would they?
299
00:10:34,766 --> 00:10:36,533
It's a shelter, not a prison.
[HUFFS]
300
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:37,533
Beat it.
301
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,200
Little bastard.
302
00:10:39,266 --> 00:10:42,066
Uh, excuse me...Bitches?
303
00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:44,100
Uh, I've actually seen
this show.
304
00:10:44,166 --> 00:10:45,900
They're gonna
demolish the house.
305
00:10:45,966 --> 00:10:48,066
Hello?
Do you hear me?
306
00:10:48,133 --> 00:10:49,666
Come on. Let's find
some homeless people.
307
00:10:49,766 --> 00:10:51,166
WOMAN:
Don't worry about pillows.
308
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:52,900
He's fucking blind, okay?
309
00:10:52,966 --> 00:10:54,966
[♪♪♪]
310
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,400
Go away. Beat it.
311
00:11:01,466 --> 00:11:03,033
Shoo.
312
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:04,533
Hey, there,
Huey.
313
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,900
I found this little
"homeless" girl.
314
00:11:07,966 --> 00:11:10,066
And I know how
your grandfather loves
315
00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:12,033
to take care
of homeless people.
316
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:13,866
What the hell
are you doing here?
317
00:11:13,933 --> 00:11:15,433
Your brother
called.
318
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,333
Said if I bring
Jazmine over,
319
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,033
I could sing
on the show.
320
00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:20,966
Hi, I'm Tom.
321
00:11:21,066 --> 00:11:22,300
I live
across the street.
322
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,400
I'm a lawyer by day, but--
323
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:25,833
Whoa. Whoa,
up here.
324
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,333
Ha-ha,
there you go.
325
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,300
So...like I was saying,
326
00:11:29,366 --> 00:11:31,000
my true passion
is singing.
327
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:35,333
♪ A heart is a house ♪
328
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,266
♪ Of love ♪
329
00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:38,900
WOMAN:
You know,
I've really had it
330
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,466
with this faggot designer
over here
331
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,733
who's trying to make pillows.
332
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:43,333
Okay, let's just leave
everything...
333
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,100
MAN:
I tell you what...
334
00:11:45,166 --> 00:11:46,800
If your granddad
has one weakness...
335
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,233
it's bitches.
336
00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:50,900
Of course,
they're my weakness too.
337
00:11:50,966 --> 00:11:52,600
What do you want
with me?
338
00:11:52,666 --> 00:11:54,266
It's complicated, Huey.
339
00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:55,766
Uh...
340
00:11:55,866 --> 00:11:58,333
I'm a secret agent sent
to spy on you.
341
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:02,300
Okay. Maybe it's not
that complicated.
342
00:12:02,366 --> 00:12:04,600
WOMAN:
If this house
is not done in...
343
00:12:04,666 --> 00:12:06,966
Do spies normally
introduce themselves
344
00:12:07,033 --> 00:12:08,600
to people
they spy on?
345
00:12:08,666 --> 00:12:10,566
What spy school
did you go to?
346
00:12:10,633 --> 00:12:14,066
Ah. I'm too old
to be sneaking around.
347
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:16,166
Excuse us.
Coming through.
348
00:12:16,233 --> 00:12:18,466
What if I tell someone
right now?
349
00:12:18,533 --> 00:12:20,966
You tried that earlier,
in the kitchen, remember?
350
00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:22,366
By the way,
351
00:12:22,433 --> 00:12:24,500
I wasn't really
in the bathroom taking a dump,
352
00:12:24,566 --> 00:12:25,500
but, man...
353
00:12:25,566 --> 00:12:27,800
[CHUCKLES]
354
00:12:27,866 --> 00:12:30,300
Oh, that brother of yours
is a hoot.
355
00:12:30,366 --> 00:12:32,133
And your grandfather...
356
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,066
Those two need
their own sitcom.
357
00:12:34,133 --> 00:12:35,500
Leave me alone.
358
00:12:35,566 --> 00:12:36,833
Look...
359
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:39,166
just because my job is
to watch your every move
360
00:12:39,233 --> 00:12:40,966
and eavesdrop
on every telephone call,
361
00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:42,666
and monitor
your every e-mail,
362
00:12:42,733 --> 00:12:46,566
doesn't mean
we can't be friends.
363
00:12:50,966 --> 00:12:52,066
Excuse me.
364
00:12:52,133 --> 00:12:54,233
Did you notice me talking
to someone a second ago
365
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:56,333
right here,
dressed like y'all?
366
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,933
Wasn't really lookin'.
Sorry.
367
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,233
MAN:
Where are we puttin'
the fried chicken dispenser?
368
00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,633
I mean, everything we see is
a false reality.
369
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:06,366
It's like Big Brother,
The Matrix,
370
00:13:06,433 --> 00:13:07,966
whatever you wanna call it.
371
00:13:08,033 --> 00:13:09,433
While we're watching each other,
372
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:10,800
they're watching us.
373
00:13:10,866 --> 00:13:12,333
All the time.
374
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,533
Some of you may be wondering
375
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,533
why we're renovating
the Freeman house
376
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,233
when it's already so big.
377
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:20,766
Well, it turns out that Robert
Freeman, who is blind,
378
00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:22,266
has run a homeless shelter
379
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:24,366
out of his house
for years.
380
00:13:24,433 --> 00:13:26,700
Yes, sir, I been living
with the Freemans
381
00:13:26,766 --> 00:13:28,233
for three months now.
382
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:31,666
They the cleanest colored folks
you ever did see.
383
00:13:32,833 --> 00:13:34,966
Mm, my mother, um...
384
00:13:35,066 --> 00:13:37,666
used crack?
385
00:13:38,866 --> 00:13:41,600
She used crack,
she left me in a dumpster.
386
00:13:41,666 --> 00:13:43,600
And you should give Riley
a movie theater.
387
00:13:43,666 --> 00:13:44,900
[GIGGLES]
388
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:48,766
Excuse me,
Mr. Bitches.
389
00:13:48,833 --> 00:13:50,933
We have some release
paperwork for you to sign.
390
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,366
Hold on.
Let me read it first.
391
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:54,433
[GASPS]
392
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,033
[LAUGHS]
393
00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:57,266
Yeah, good one.
Good one.
394
00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:58,266
Now,
395
00:13:58,333 --> 00:13:59,733
just sign here.
396
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:01,700
And there.
397
00:14:01,766 --> 00:14:02,700
Great.
398
00:14:02,766 --> 00:14:04,533
Ha-ha-ha, excellent,
excellent.
399
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:05,866
Thanks. Word.
400
00:14:05,933 --> 00:14:07,100
Whoa.
Whoa.
401
00:14:07,166 --> 00:14:08,700
MAN:
Wow. Whoo.
402
00:14:11,666 --> 00:14:12,766
JAZMINE:
Hi, Huey.
403
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:15,566
What's the matter?
404
00:14:15,633 --> 00:14:17,400
You wouldn't
understand.
405
00:14:17,466 --> 00:14:19,333
I'm being shadowed
by a secret agent.
406
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,600
Really? Who?
407
00:14:21,666 --> 00:14:22,766
Where is he?
408
00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:24,500
I don't know.
409
00:14:24,566 --> 00:14:25,900
Kinda just pops up
out of nowhere
410
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,600
and then disappears.
411
00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:29,300
You mean,
like the tooth fairy?
412
00:14:29,366 --> 00:14:30,400
No, I don't mean
413
00:14:30,466 --> 00:14:31,900
like the tooth fairy.
414
00:14:31,966 --> 00:14:34,000
Sounds like
the tooth fairy to me.
415
00:14:34,066 --> 00:14:35,466
You can believe
in secret agents,
416
00:14:35,533 --> 00:14:37,433
and I can't believe
in the tooth fairy?
417
00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:38,933
That's messed up, Huey.
418
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,200
Go eat something
out of a dumpster,
419
00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:42,466
you street urchin.
420
00:14:42,566 --> 00:14:43,700
[♪♪♪]
421
00:14:43,766 --> 00:14:45,733
WOMAN:
It doesn't have to last!
422
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:46,733
Don't use nails then!
423
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,700
Use glue! I don't care!
424
00:14:48,766 --> 00:14:50,233
[RAP MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKER]
425
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:53,200
WOMAN:
Just get it done!
We are running out of time.
426
00:14:53,266 --> 00:14:56,333
HUEY:
What the--?
This is some bullshit.
427
00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:58,666
Man.
428
00:14:58,733 --> 00:15:00,600
Oh!
What--?
429
00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:02,433
Man, what's--? Ugh.
430
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:04,333
What--?
Ugh.
431
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,433
I should never have let you
talk me into this.
432
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,633
First, you let Noxema
take my car away.
433
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:10,733
Now these white people
are destroying my house.
434
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,633
[CRASH, MAN SCREAMS]
435
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:15,200
Granddad, all we gotta do
is keep up the act.
436
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:17,400
We gonna have a new car
and a new...
437
00:15:17,466 --> 00:15:18,766
house.
438
00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:21,633
All because we didn't
listen to Huey.
439
00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:23,366
MAN:
Excuse me, uh,
Mr. Bitches.
440
00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:25,566
I think your car
just showed up.
441
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,033
[IN UNISON]
Dorothy.
442
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,033
XZIBIT:
When we first saw Dorothy,
443
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:31,266
the only thing that worked
was the off switch.
444
00:15:31,333 --> 00:15:34,166
That car was so old
it ran on unleaded coal.
445
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:36,066
But take a look
at the new Dorothy.
446
00:15:36,133 --> 00:15:37,833
[♪♪♪]
447
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:40,066
Yo, man!
Oh, my Lord, have mercy!
448
00:15:40,133 --> 00:15:42,466
Check it out. Look at the rim.
I can't believe it.
449
00:15:42,533 --> 00:15:44,833
Look at the paint job.
Oh, that's my color too.
450
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:47,500
Oh, give me a hug.
Man, Grandpa bad too.
451
00:15:47,566 --> 00:15:50,333
Huey gotta ride in the back.
Look at that. No, no, no, no.
452
00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:53,000
GRANDDAD:
Look at the seats.
Pimping, pimping hot.
453
00:15:53,066 --> 00:15:55,400
Oh, I'm gonna start pimping.
I'm gonna do something.
454
00:15:55,466 --> 00:15:57,333
I'm gonna do something.
Oh, look at them seats.
455
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,566
Oh, I can't wait to get me
a little cutie-pie in here.
456
00:15:59,633 --> 00:16:01,533
Oh, my Lord, have mercy.
Oh, skanks!
457
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,000
I can't believe it.
They're bad!
458
00:16:03,066 --> 00:16:04,166
Dorothy! Dorothy!
Whoa!
459
00:16:04,233 --> 00:16:06,533
You're so beautiful.
All right, all right.
460
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:10,000
Granddad, Granddad,
let's roll out right now.
461
00:16:10,066 --> 00:16:12,266
MAN:
Hey, I don't know
what the hell is going on?
462
00:16:12,333 --> 00:16:14,900
GRANDDAD:
What's making the rims
keep spinning?
463
00:16:14,966 --> 00:16:18,000
[WHISPERS]
Granddad, you're supposed
to be blind.
464
00:16:18,066 --> 00:16:19,400
Oh, yeah.
MAN: Shit, man.
465
00:16:19,466 --> 00:16:20,400
MAN 2:
What the hell?
466
00:16:20,466 --> 00:16:22,500
He's not blind.
467
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:23,800
[WORKERS CHATTERING]
468
00:16:23,866 --> 00:16:25,000
I was like,
469
00:16:25,066 --> 00:16:28,000
"Man, Granddad done fucked it up
for everybody."
470
00:16:28,066 --> 00:16:30,633
Oh, shit. Is he gonna
hear me say fuck?
471
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,566
Yeah, I messed it up.
472
00:16:32,633 --> 00:16:34,366
Teach that boy a lesson.
473
00:16:34,433 --> 00:16:37,500
Trying to rip off the TV show.
474
00:16:37,566 --> 00:16:39,300
What I know about acting blind?
475
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,066
Ah, man.
476
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:43,000
This is like
when Rerun got caught
477
00:16:43,066 --> 00:16:44,800
bootlegging
the Doobie Brothers concert
478
00:16:44,866 --> 00:16:46,200
on What's Happening!!
479
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:48,200
Oh, yeah. Isn't that the one
where he's dancing
480
00:16:48,266 --> 00:16:49,566
and that big-ass
tape recorder
481
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:51,833
falls out of his coat?
Yeah.
482
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:53,500
♪ Bum-tum-bum
Bum-bum ♪
483
00:16:53,566 --> 00:16:57,633
♪ I can see clearly now
The rain has gone ♪
484
00:16:57,700 --> 00:16:59,500
♪ Bum-tum-bum
Bum-bum ♪
485
00:16:59,566 --> 00:17:00,833
♪ Bum-tum-bum
Bum-bum ♪
486
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:06,166
♪ I can see all obstacles
In my way-- ♪
487
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:08,333
[DOG BARKS]
488
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,433
MAN: I love that song.
MAN 2: Is he gay?
489
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:11,933
MAN 3:
I don't know what the hell...
490
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,400
MAN 4:
What the hell's going on
with this guy?
491
00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:16,066
MAN 5:
This is getting way too weird.
492
00:17:16,133 --> 00:17:18,133
GRANDDAD:
Gentlemen, don't leave.
Gentlemen.
493
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,400
Come on,
what about my house?
494
00:17:19,466 --> 00:17:20,600
It's not my fault.
The boy--
495
00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:22,300
I shouldn't have
listened to the boy...
496
00:17:22,366 --> 00:17:25,633
I knew that nigga wasn't blind
the whole time.
497
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:28,033
This soup tastes
like horse piss.
498
00:17:28,133 --> 00:17:29,600
GRANDDAD:
Hey, wait a minute.
499
00:17:29,666 --> 00:17:31,300
[♪♪♪]
500
00:17:31,366 --> 00:17:34,033
Pff! I can't believe
you're not blind, man.
501
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:35,733
Not Dorothy.
502
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:36,733
Please!
503
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,700
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKER]
504
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,633
You did this to me.
Riley, this your fault.
505
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:43,333
Dorothy!
Don't go, Dorothy!
506
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,100
MAN:
Don't forget to get
the watermelon patch.
507
00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:46,600
GRANDDAD:
Please listen to me.
508
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,833
Somebody listen to me
before I kick your ass...
509
00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:54,633
[DOORBELL RINGS]
510
00:17:57,500 --> 00:17:59,366
Yo, anybody home?
511
00:17:59,433 --> 00:18:01,000
You know
you can see us.
512
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:03,833
Fellas, we thought
about it, and...
513
00:18:03,933 --> 00:18:05,466
Well, here's
your car back, man.
514
00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:06,666
Thank you.
515
00:18:06,733 --> 00:18:08,633
Thank you, Eczema.
Thank you.
516
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:11,300
Yeah. We kinda felt bad
for you guys.
517
00:18:11,366 --> 00:18:14,466
Besides, our lawyers told us
we couldn't keep the car.
518
00:18:14,533 --> 00:18:16,900
Good-looking, my nigga.
My man, Ex-convict.
519
00:18:16,966 --> 00:18:18,800
I always said you were
my favorite rapper.
520
00:18:18,866 --> 00:18:20,466
I messes with Xzibit.
521
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,766
We'll just charge y'all
for all the work we did on it:
522
00:18:22,833 --> 00:18:26,666
$35,423.08.
523
00:18:26,733 --> 00:18:27,900
[♪♪♪]
524
00:18:27,966 --> 00:18:30,100
You Indian-giving-ass nigga.
I hate you rappers,
525
00:18:30,166 --> 00:18:31,400
with your bebop, bebop.
526
00:18:31,466 --> 00:18:33,366
Why don't you exit
out of my face, Exhibition.
527
00:18:33,466 --> 00:18:35,066
I do not mess
with Xzibit.
528
00:18:35,166 --> 00:18:36,266
Bastard.
529
00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:38,266
All right, here's
the invoice.
530
00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:40,600
And take your time
with that.
531
00:18:40,666 --> 00:18:41,833
Looks like
money gonna be
532
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:43,333
tight around here
for a minute.
533
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,100
[LAUGHS]
534
00:18:48,233 --> 00:18:49,933
She does look nice.
535
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,400
All things considered,
536
00:18:51,466 --> 00:18:53,200
I say we came out ahead.
537
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:55,700
[GROWLING]
538
00:18:56,733 --> 00:18:57,666
Uh-oh.
539
00:18:57,733 --> 00:18:59,066
Come here!
540
00:18:59,133 --> 00:19:01,066
[♪♪♪]
541
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,066
I've come up
with a name for you:
542
00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:07,933
The White Shadow.
543
00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:09,100
Hm.
544
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,266
I'm white,
I'm shadowing you.
545
00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:13,633
It's very clever.
546
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:15,400
And I've decided
that you're a figment
547
00:19:15,466 --> 00:19:17,966
of my overactive imagination.
548
00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:19,966
Now who's hiding
from reality?
549
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:22,033
Just because
you're paranoid, Huey,
550
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:24,066
doesn't mean
we're not out to get you.
551
00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:25,866
If you are real,
552
00:19:25,933 --> 00:19:27,233
why me?
553
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,200
Oh, come on.
554
00:19:30,266 --> 00:19:32,633
You underestimate yourself.
555
00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:35,766
It's a shame what happened
to the house.
556
00:19:35,833 --> 00:19:36,866
You warned them.
557
00:19:36,933 --> 00:19:38,366
They wouldn't listen
to me.
558
00:19:38,433 --> 00:19:40,100
They never listen to me.
559
00:19:40,166 --> 00:19:42,433
I know you wanna save
the world, Huey,
560
00:19:42,533 --> 00:19:44,200
but sometimes
people have
561
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,733
to learn lessons
on their own.
562
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,733
The hard way.
563
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,833
Well, can't miss the Idol.
564
00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:53,533
If you ever wanna talk,
remember...
565
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,600
I'm always listening.
566
00:19:55,666 --> 00:19:57,633
♪ Da-da
Da-da-da-da... ♪
567
00:20:03,033 --> 00:20:05,066
HUEY [NARRATING]:
Obi-Wan Kenobi said:
568
00:20:05,133 --> 00:20:07,966
"Your eyes can deceive you.
Don't trust them."
569
00:20:08,033 --> 00:20:11,533
It seems to be getting harder
distinguishing reality
570
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,933
from the illusions
people make for us.
571
00:20:14,033 --> 00:20:16,666
Or from the ones
we make for ourselves.
572
00:20:16,766 --> 00:20:19,200
I don't know.
Maybe that's part of the plan:
573
00:20:19,266 --> 00:20:22,200
to make me think I'm crazy.
574
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,133
It's working.
575
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,166
Anybody wanna drink
out the fridge?
576
00:20:31,233 --> 00:20:32,900
Or an espresso?
577
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,666
RILEY:
Good night,
Granddad.
578
00:20:37,733 --> 00:20:39,333
I'll good your night.
579
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,833
Good night, Huey.
580
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:42,533
Good night, Riley.
581
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,833
RILEY:
Good night, Huey's imaginary
secret-agent friend.
582
00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:48,100
[SNICKERS]
583
00:20:48,166 --> 00:20:50,900
Granddad,
Huey's imaginary friend
584
00:20:50,966 --> 00:20:53,000
tried to touch me
in a private place.
585
00:20:53,066 --> 00:20:54,200
[LAUGHS]
586
00:20:54,266 --> 00:20:55,566
[HUEY SIGHS]
587
00:20:58,733 --> 00:21:00,833
[♪♪♪]
40273
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