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1
00:00:06,896 --> 00:00:08,137
Are ya ready, kids?
2
00:00:08,241 --> 00:00:10,000
Aye-aye, Captain!
3
00:00:10,103 --> 00:00:11,379
I can't hear you!
4
00:00:11,482 --> 00:00:13,724
Aye-aye, Captain!
5
00:00:13,827 --> 00:00:16,413
♪ Ooh ♪
6
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,517
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪
7
00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:20,551
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
8
00:00:20,655 --> 00:00:22,827
♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪
9
00:00:22,931 --> 00:00:24,586
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
10
00:00:24,689 --> 00:00:26,551
♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪
11
00:00:26,655 --> 00:00:28,758
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
12
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,620
♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪
13
00:00:30,724 --> 00:00:32,551
- ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
- Ready?
14
00:00:32,655 --> 00:00:34,517
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
15
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:36,793
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
16
00:00:36,896 --> 00:00:38,448
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
17
00:00:38,551 --> 00:00:41,931
♪ SpongeBob
SquarePants ♪
18
00:00:42,034 --> 00:00:45,655
Ha ha ha ha!
19
00:00:45,758 --> 00:00:46,896
Argh!
20
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:06,137
Wake up, Gary!
21
00:01:06,241 --> 00:01:07,448
It's time for
22
00:01:07,551 --> 00:01:10,206
Bikini Bottom News
with Perch Perkins.
23
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,103
Oh, good thinking, Gary.
24
00:01:14,448 --> 00:01:17,413
The news can be
pretty topsy-turvy.
25
00:01:17,517 --> 00:01:18,413
Meow.
26
00:01:18,931 --> 00:01:20,100
Good evening, Bikini Bottom.
27
00:01:21,103 --> 00:01:22,482
In tonight's top story,
28
00:01:22,586 --> 00:01:25,137
a local squirrel got stuck
in a well.
29
00:01:25,241 --> 00:01:28,413
Help! Get me outta here, y'all!
30
00:01:28,517 --> 00:01:30,862
Must be embarrassing
for whoever that is.
31
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:33,758
But first, radical changes
in machine intelligence
32
00:01:33,862 --> 00:01:37,931
were made today when a local
squirrel got stuck in a well!
33
00:01:39,068 --> 00:01:40,482
Ow!
34
00:01:42,137 --> 00:01:45,103
Yee-haw!
35
00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:48,931
Looks like we won't be needing
those lazy firemen anymore!
36
00:01:50,724 --> 00:01:51,620
Huh?
37
00:01:51,724 --> 00:01:52,758
This just in!
38
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:55,206
Local TV news reporter
Perch Perkins
39
00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:57,241
has been fired!
40
00:01:58,482 --> 00:02:00,275
- Fired?
- Meow?
41
00:02:01,137 --> 00:02:02,620
Fired?
42
00:02:02,724 --> 00:02:04,758
The long-time local
news veteran
43
00:02:04,862 --> 00:02:08,275
is being replaced by the
latest in reporting technology,
44
00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:10,827
Newsbot 2000,
45
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,793
effective immediately.
46
00:02:13,241 --> 00:02:15,137
Yes. Thank you, Perch.
47
00:02:15,241 --> 00:02:16,965
You can't do this to me.
48
00:02:17,068 --> 00:02:19,137
We here at Bikini Bottom News
49
00:02:19,241 --> 00:02:21,965
salute you for
your years of service.
50
00:02:26,344 --> 00:02:27,655
Sorry, sir.
51
00:02:27,758 --> 00:02:30,827
We can't let you leave
with any company property.
52
00:02:32,275 --> 00:02:34,724
Can't I at least keep the box?
53
00:02:34,827 --> 00:02:35,827
Of course.
54
00:02:38,896 --> 00:02:42,517
But the hair belongs
to the studio.
55
00:02:47,172 --> 00:02:49,689
That wasn't a toupee.
56
00:02:53,068 --> 00:02:54,655
This is terrible!
57
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:57,241
A robot could never replace
someone like Perch
58
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,241
in our hearts!
59
00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:00,689
I won't stand for this!
60
00:03:00,793 --> 00:03:02,931
I'm gonna give that news studio
61
00:03:03,034 --> 00:03:04,517
a piece of my mind!
62
00:03:06,448 --> 00:03:08,034
We want Perch!
63
00:03:08,137 --> 00:03:09,896
We want Perch!
64
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,275
Bring back Perch!
65
00:03:11,379 --> 00:03:12,620
Pardon me, sir.
66
00:03:12,724 --> 00:03:14,862
Would you care to tell
the folks back home more
67
00:03:14,965 --> 00:03:16,758
about your protest?
68
00:03:16,862 --> 00:03:18,620
Oh, of course!
69
00:03:18,724 --> 00:03:21,482
You see, Perch Perkins
is my favorite newsman
70
00:03:21,586 --> 00:03:22,100
in the whole ocean
71
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:24,620
and--uh. Wait a second.
72
00:03:24,724 --> 00:03:25,655
Perch?
73
00:03:25,758 --> 00:03:27,275
Is that you?
74
00:03:27,379 --> 00:03:29,931
No loitering!
75
00:03:30,275 --> 00:03:32,103
As a fan of Perch Perkins,
76
00:03:32,206 --> 00:03:34,931
what do you think
about a robot taking his job?
77
00:03:35,034 --> 00:03:38,172
You can't just replace someone
with a machine!
78
00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:40,931
Pat-tron, take over
this protest for me.
79
00:03:41,310 --> 00:03:42,793
Perch! Come back!
80
00:03:42,896 --> 00:03:44,310
We need you!
81
00:03:50,206 --> 00:03:51,206
Oh, no.
82
00:03:51,310 --> 00:03:53,896
Old Reporters Row!
83
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:58,241
Where TV reporters
finish out their off-air years.
84
00:03:58,344 --> 00:04:02,448
Low of 55. High of 72.
85
00:04:02,551 --> 00:04:05,931
Out top stories--
Back to you, Bob.
86
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,448
Perch!
87
00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,413
You don't belong here!
88
00:04:11,827 --> 00:04:13,758
Do you trust
your breakfast cereal?
89
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:16,413
Is King Neptune's crown
too small?
90
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:18,137
for or against?
91
00:04:22,655 --> 00:04:24,379
Here's a burning story.
92
00:04:24,827 --> 00:04:28,862
This reporter's stash of
old magazines is running low.
93
00:04:29,689 --> 00:04:31,655
Perch? Thank goodness!
94
00:04:31,758 --> 00:04:33,172
We have to get you outta here!
95
00:04:33,275 --> 00:04:34,655
Why bother?
96
00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:37,586
The only thing I know
how to do is hold a microphone.
97
00:04:37,724 --> 00:04:40,724
And Newsbot has
that all sewn up.
98
00:04:41,034 --> 00:04:42,862
Who else would hire me?
99
00:04:42,965 --> 00:04:46,310
There's lots of places that
can use a fish of your talents.
100
00:04:46,413 --> 00:04:47,793
Come on. I'll show ya.
101
00:04:48,172 --> 00:04:49,100
Barg'n-Mart?
102
00:04:52,103 --> 00:04:53,310
Hmm.
103
00:04:53,413 --> 00:04:55,344
I suppose we could use someone
104
00:04:55,448 --> 00:04:57,344
to make in-store announcements.
105
00:04:57,448 --> 00:04:59,551
Welcome aboard!
106
00:05:00,206 --> 00:05:01,586
Huh?
107
00:05:03,862 --> 00:05:07,137
Uh... Attention,
Barg'n-Mart shoppers.
108
00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:10,344
Cheese is on sale
in the dairy aisle.
109
00:05:13,758 --> 00:05:15,103
Wow!
110
00:05:15,206 --> 00:05:18,793
And fresh flowers are marked
down in the floral department!
111
00:05:25,689 --> 00:05:28,586
Perch Perkins. Aisle Seven News.
112
00:05:28,689 --> 00:05:30,896
Can you tell us
what happened here?
113
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:32,344
Well, Perch.
114
00:05:32,448 --> 00:05:34,034
I was procuring my pickles
115
00:05:34,137 --> 00:05:37,517
when I noticed my palms
had grown quite dewy.
116
00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:38,896
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
117
00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:42,413
Alas, my realization
came too late!
118
00:05:42,517 --> 00:05:44,100
My hands,
slickened from exertion,
119
00:05:45,103 --> 00:05:49,172
could not hold on
to their briny bounty!
120
00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:51,344
A heart-wrenching tale.
121
00:05:51,448 --> 00:05:52,896
Perkins!
122
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:55,310
You're supposed
to call for a clean up!
123
00:05:55,413 --> 00:05:57,620
Not interview the mess maker!
124
00:05:57,724 --> 00:06:00,655
Look at all
these injured customers!
125
00:06:02,517 --> 00:06:04,379
My pickled leg!
126
00:06:04,758 --> 00:06:07,172
You're fired!
127
00:06:14,310 --> 00:06:16,448
Perch!
128
00:06:16,551 --> 00:06:17,655
That's okay.
129
00:06:17,758 --> 00:06:19,413
I lined up another job for ya.
130
00:06:19,517 --> 00:06:20,793
Oh.
131
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,137
Luckily, I know a guy here.
132
00:06:25,275 --> 00:06:26,724
Perch. Hey!
133
00:06:26,827 --> 00:06:28,793
Welcome to the Krusty Krab!
134
00:06:28,896 --> 00:06:32,862
Always good to have
a former celebrity on the team.
135
00:06:34,206 --> 00:06:35,275
Thank you?
136
00:06:35,379 --> 00:06:37,862
SpongeBob said you're good
on the microphone.
137
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:41,275
So, I'm putting you
on drive-through duty!
138
00:06:46,896 --> 00:06:49,448
Hehe. Haven't used it
in a couple of years.
139
00:06:49,793 --> 00:06:52,448
Okay. Start making me
some money.
140
00:06:52,551 --> 00:06:54,448
Larry wants to order
141
00:06:54,551 --> 00:06:55,758
a Krabby Patty.
142
00:06:55,862 --> 00:06:58,172
Would you like fries with that?
143
00:06:58,275 --> 00:07:00,551
- Sure! Why not?
- Oh.
144
00:07:00,655 --> 00:07:03,275
Would you like to upgrade
to a Krabby Combo
145
00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:04,100
and get a small soda?
146
00:07:05,103 --> 00:07:07,103
Uh, okay?
147
00:07:07,206 --> 00:07:09,206
Would you like
to explain why your gym
148
00:07:09,310 --> 00:07:12,344
has been hit
with 15 health code violations
149
00:07:12,448 --> 00:07:14,103
- this month?
- Uh.
150
00:07:14,206 --> 00:07:16,100
Uh, Larry's a busy lobster,
you know.
151
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:20,241
Several hard-hitting
hours later...
152
00:07:20,344 --> 00:07:22,551
Larry just wanted to work out.
153
00:07:22,655 --> 00:07:26,724
He didn't mean for all those
people to get athlete's shell!
154
00:07:28,586 --> 00:07:30,068
Perkins!
155
00:07:33,758 --> 00:07:35,241
Let me guess.
156
00:07:35,344 --> 00:07:36,862
You're firing me?
157
00:07:36,965 --> 00:07:39,758
Here's the scoop: Yes!
158
00:07:41,965 --> 00:07:44,896
Perch,
where are you going?
159
00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:48,379
Back to Old Reporter Row
where I belong.
160
00:07:48,482 --> 00:07:50,689
Oh, no. We're not giving up yet!
161
00:07:50,793 --> 00:07:52,379
If you're no good
at anything else,
162
00:07:52,482 --> 00:07:55,034
then you'll just have
to report the news again.
163
00:07:55,137 --> 00:07:56,206
But how?
164
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,137
Don't you worry.
165
00:07:58,241 --> 00:07:59,931
I've got a plan.
166
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:03,482
Please take Perch back!
167
00:08:03,586 --> 00:08:05,448
You have to!
168
00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:07,931
Wah!
169
00:08:08,034 --> 00:08:11,758
Hmm, as the manager
of this news network,
170
00:08:11,862 --> 00:08:15,103
give me one good reason
why I should.
171
00:08:15,206 --> 00:08:17,482
Because Perch Perkins
can out-report
172
00:08:17,586 --> 00:08:19,413
your dumb old Newsbot
173
00:08:19,517 --> 00:08:21,448
anytime, anywhere!
174
00:08:21,551 --> 00:08:23,827
Ha. I'd like to see him try.
175
00:08:23,931 --> 00:08:25,100
Good. Then you will.
176
00:08:26,103 --> 00:08:29,379
SpongeBob, I can't
out-report him.
177
00:08:29,482 --> 00:08:32,034
The guy's a machine.
Literally.
178
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,965
I believe in you, Perch Perkins.
179
00:08:36,862 --> 00:08:39,103
Okay.
180
00:08:39,206 --> 00:08:40,448
It is on.
181
00:08:42,965 --> 00:08:44,100
It's a news-off!
182
00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:46,827
You know the rules.
183
00:08:46,931 --> 00:08:50,103
Whoever reports the most news
in the time allowed,
184
00:08:50,206 --> 00:08:51,137
wins.
185
00:08:51,241 --> 00:08:52,379
On your mark.
186
00:08:52,482 --> 00:08:54,034
Get set.
187
00:08:54,137 --> 00:08:55,793
News!
188
00:08:57,827 --> 00:09:00,827
Oh, the huge manatee!
189
00:09:01,137 --> 00:09:04,482
A simple news-off
turned ugly today when--
190
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,896
Breaking news!
A pile-up has left
191
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:09,620
multiple boats mangled
beyond recognition!
192
00:09:09,724 --> 00:09:11,103
This just in!
193
00:09:11,206 --> 00:09:14,551
A towering inferno
in downtown Bikini Bottom!
194
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:15,862
News flash!
195
00:09:16,034 --> 00:09:18,068
A tidal wave is headed
straight for the city!
196
00:09:18,172 --> 00:09:20,896
And this reporter has
an exclusive interview!
197
00:09:21,034 --> 00:09:24,379
Mr. Wave, why are you
doing this?
198
00:09:32,758 --> 00:09:34,517
Grr!
199
00:09:34,655 --> 00:09:37,517
Time to turn the news
up a notch!
200
00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:41,482
Bikini Bottom streets
pocked with potholes!
201
00:09:41,586 --> 00:09:44,241
Scoop!
202
00:09:44,344 --> 00:09:47,103
Who keeps tipping over
our old ladies?
203
00:09:47,206 --> 00:09:49,862
News flash!
204
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:52,482
The bridge to Shell City
has collapsed!
205
00:09:52,586 --> 00:09:53,965
My leg!
206
00:09:54,068 --> 00:09:56,862
Exclusive!
207
00:09:58,448 --> 00:10:03,034
There's no way anyone could
report that much news.
208
00:10:03,586 --> 00:10:05,206
Unless...
209
00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:07,413
Come on, SpongeBob!
210
00:10:07,862 --> 00:10:10,310
Mysterious rash
covers beach goers!
211
00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:12,655
Bikini Bottom bank robbed!
212
00:10:12,965 --> 00:10:15,206
Vandals strike
local fast food restaurant!
213
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:16,827
Argh!
214
00:10:17,275 --> 00:10:19,448
We interrupt
this onslaught of news
215
00:10:19,551 --> 00:10:20,896
to bring you a special report.
216
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,758
Local news robot, Newsbot,
217
00:10:23,862 --> 00:10:27,000
has been causing
the very stories he reports on!
218
00:10:27,103 --> 00:10:29,137
He destroys the bridges!
219
00:10:31,689 --> 00:10:33,241
He robs the banks!
220
00:10:39,655 --> 00:10:42,310
He tips over the old ladies!
221
00:10:44,379 --> 00:10:47,551
And right now,
he is cutting the brakes
222
00:10:47,655 --> 00:10:51,448
on this bus full
of adorable baby snails!
223
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,448
Excuse me, Newsbot.
224
00:10:53,551 --> 00:10:55,862
Care to comment on your crimes?
225
00:10:55,965 --> 00:10:58,862
Uh-uh--This isn't
what it looks like!
226
00:10:58,965 --> 00:11:01,448
It looks like you
ran out of news
227
00:11:01,551 --> 00:11:03,448
so you made your own.
228
00:11:03,551 --> 00:11:05,413
I--uh--
229
00:11:05,517 --> 00:11:07,000
So, which came first?
230
00:11:07,103 --> 00:11:09,827
The news story or the reporter?
231
00:11:09,931 --> 00:11:13,379
N-news! R-reporter! Old ladies!
232
00:11:13,482 --> 00:11:15,206
Exploding boats-- My face!
233
00:11:15,310 --> 00:11:19,379
For more, let's go to our man
on the street.
234
00:11:19,586 --> 00:11:20,896
Newsbot.
235
00:11:23,586 --> 00:11:26,275
Report! Report! Report! Report!
236
00:11:26,379 --> 00:11:27,827
Explode!
237
00:11:29,862 --> 00:11:31,862
Congratulations, Perch.
238
00:11:31,965 --> 00:11:34,586
Looks like you are un-fired!
239
00:11:35,482 --> 00:11:37,689
Hooray! You did it!
240
00:11:37,793 --> 00:11:39,896
Here's your news hair back!
241
00:11:42,758 --> 00:11:44,241
This just in.
16297
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