Original subtitles

And now back to The World of Gross Sea Life.

Observe how this ingenious parasitic isopod

finds a new home by attaching itself inside a fish's mouth,

becoming its new tongue.

Hmm?

That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

Disgustingly genius!

It's giving me a wonderful idea!

I'll glue myself to SpongeBob's tongue!

By hiding right in that fry cook's face,

I'll be in the perfect position

to collect a Krabby Patty sample!

Well, what could possibly go wrong?

Clever disguise? Check.

Sample container? Check.

Glue? Check.

Time to begin operation tongue oppressor!

An iron a day keeps the wrinkles away!

Ooh. I hope it's a salesman!

Candy-gram!

Ooh! I just love a Poetry-Slam Candy-gram!

Poetry? Well, okay.

Roses are red, candy is sweet.

Uh, eat with your mouth, not with your feet?

Words to live by.

That's it! Eat the delicious little plankton.

I'll just have one little candy.

Who am I kidding?

Come on, you dolt! Eat me.

Ooh. This pink candy looks so delicious...

Yes. Yes.

That I saved it just for you, Gary!

Ugh.

I have to get inside that mouth breather's mouth.

Maybe disguise myself as a door to door dentist?

No, that's not a thing.

Ew! I stepped in some old gum!

And now, I just have to glue myself

to his hideous tongue.

Come on. Whoops!

Yes!

Mm-hmm.

"The Tiny Book of Tortuous Tongue Twisters."

Perfect for my morning exercises.

My tongue has to be in tip top shape to taste my patties.

Tongue twisters?

"The squad of odd cod

applaud the sassy cephalopod."

The pain! Huh?

This dream scheme gone full steam

guarantees Eugene's screams.

Oh, boy. Now, I'm doing it.

Morning, Squidward.

Ugh. Your breath smells like chum.

It is a bit stinky.

You try passing through a snail's intestines

and see what you smell like!

A little breath spray should help.

Better get some patties out of the freezer for today's orders.

Oh, no! We're out of patties!

Of course, you are.

Which means I get to make a whole new batch!

Hooray!

Even better!

I'll have a front-row seat to the whole process.

A little secret ingredient A.

Secret ingredient A?

Two plops of B.

Some C, D, E, and G!

Two cups of this! A jar of that!

And just a pinch of Z.

What's this guy making? Alphabet soup?

Mix well.

Perfect!

Now for the taste test.

That's it, baby.

I only need one sample.

My eye!

Ugh. These patties are kind of bland.

I can't taste them at all.

Time to get a little creative.

Hmm, maybe some Limburger cheese will help.

Oh, no. Not Limburger.

Still blah.

Ooh! How about a little sauerkraut?

Flying Dutchman peppers.

And this old jar of toe jam.

Good, Neptune. Not in your mouth!

Still doesn't have any taste.

Oh. I've made a critical error.

My glue has covered that dolt's taste buds.

Get a move on, SpongeBob!

The orders are piling up!

No problem, Squidward.

I guess it'll have to do.

The Krabby Patties are ready, Squidward.

Whatever.

Thank Neptune. I'm starving.

Finally.

Is this even food?

Ew! This is disgusting!

I'll never eat here again!

I've had better garbage!

It tastes worse than chum!

Hmm.

Worse than chum?

What have you done to my patties?

I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs.

The patties have no flavor at all today.

No flavor?

More like too much flavor!

They taste like the Flying Dutchman's long johns!

I'm afraid your taste buds are worn out, boy-o.

Phew.

Until your tongue recovers,

you're off grill duty.

Turn in your hat and spatula.

Aww.

That's one more for the failure pile.

Time to abandon tongue.

Ah, blast.

The zipper's covered in glue.

Huh. My left armpit still sounds a little sharp.

That's better.

Hey, SpongeBob.

Hey, Patrick.

What's the matter?

I can't taste a thing.

My tongue is broken.

He goes to Patrick for advice?

It's the nitwits leading the dimwits.

Your tongue's probably just dirty.

That happens to me all the time.

You're the smartest smart person who ever smarted!

Give me a little run off music, maestro!

- Ahh. - Sweet Neptune!

No!

I need something stronger.

This should do the trick!

Ahh!

May I borrow your hat, sir?

Oh, of course!

It tastes like emptiness.

Tastes fine to me.

Oh, my poor tongue is just worn out.

Guess it's time for a new one!

What?

Ahh.

Silly me.

Why didn't I do this earlier?

Can I borrow that dirty old tongue of yours?

Of course!

Patrick eats more Krabby Patties than anyone.

Why didn't I do this earlier?

Sorry, my old tongue's a little loud.

That's okay.

Perfect.

I'm just gonna go grab a bite to eat

at the annual Chum Eating Contest!

Chum eating contest?

Was that today?

On your marks,

get set,

chum!

Aw. Why can't I have a detachable tongue?