Original subtitles

Are ya ready kids?

Aye-aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you! - Aye-aye, Captain!

Ooh...

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪ - Ready?

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

1[pirate] ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Argh!

Another miserable start to another miserable day.

Greetings!

You strike me as a man with a healthy sense of humor.

Well, boy, do I have just the offer for you.

It's a deal you can really sink...

...your chattering teeth into!

Oh, but that's not all!

Do you like to snap your gum?

Well this gum...

- Ah! - snaps you!

These priceless gags can be yours

for the low, low price of 24.99!

But if you act now,

I'll throw in a free set of steak knives!

Are you finished now, Dad?

Aw! How did you know it was me?

Bring it in, son.

I just flew into town on my new sales route

and thought I would drop by.

And also thought I would stay for a few days.

You-- What? Hey!

Oh, wow!

Uh. Huh.

Very impressive, Squiddy!

Oh, you really think so?

Of course!

I love clown paintings!

Cheer up, son.

Hey, why don't you play me

one of your famous clarinet tunes?

Well, I have been practicing a new song.

It's the classic bubble-blowing clarinet!

It's only 6.99.

This will be the longest few days of my life.

Dad! Can you keep your honking down?

Oh, no.

If you like rubber chickens,

you'll love this bicycle horn!

Oh, that's right, boys.

I've got horns-a-plenty.

Fog horns!

- French horns! - Hon, hon, hon!

Bull horns!

- Whoa! - Just 9.99 each.

I take all major credit cards.

But I promise, I give them all back.

Please, do not arm my annoying neighbors

with even more annoying props!

I'm begging you, Father.

- What? - What?

Squidward, this is your dad?

I thought Mr. Krabs was your dad!

No, Patrick.

And I would appreciate it

if you left my father and I alone.

Oh, come on, Squidward.

Join in. It's just harmless fun.

Yeah, harmless fun.

Put her there, Patrick.

Yeah!

No.

Here, let me help you two up.

Ugh! Well, today was a wash.

Guess I'll try again tomorrow.

I just need to sleep for...

Twenty-three and a half hours.

You'll be the life of the slumber party

with my patented whoopee bed!

Oh! Leave me alone!

Always handy to have a rubber ladder.

Whoa!

Oh, here it is.

Ta-da!

Now, that's what I call a pop-up store!

Hey! Step right up to Jeffy T's Prankwell Emporium!

I'm a peddler of pranks,

a giver of gags, a trader of tricks.

You need it,

I sell a novelty approximation of it.

Your friends will be saying, "Hey! Prank's a lot!"

Well, I'm saying pranks for nothing!

Who would have thought Squidward's dad

would be such a lively guy?

Yeah! He makes me laugh.

S-Squidward just makes me sad.

Nonsense!

Squidward is hilarious in his own right.

I mean, his name is Squidward

but he's an octopus!

Ha! That was one of my best pranks.

That's a good one!

Can we see more of your novelty gags, Mr. Tentacles?

Please, Mr. Tentacles is my son.

Call me Jeffy.

There's more where that came from!

Here are just a few of my prototype gags.

Polka dot soap!

Dot's great!

Disappearing squid ink!

Ooh. Think of all the money I'll save on pants.

And don't forget my bombsicles.

Cool.

That's right! I've developed thousands of gags

over the course of my career.

I've even been working on...

the ultimate gag.

Oooh.

But it's just not ready yet.

I can't seem to figure it out.

- Oh, oh! We can help! - Yeah!

Show us your new gags, Mr. Jeffyward!

Brilliant idea, boys.

Hey, why don't you step into my test kitchen.

You know, this looks a lot like Squidward's kitchen.

Think of it as my gag lab.

I've planted some of my newest pranks around.

For instance...

Huh?

Rice lice!

Some people are so bad at cooking,

they can't even boil water.

Especially not with a flammable pot!

He better grab that fire re-stinguisher!

- Gah! - Here, son.

Use this squirting flower.

Ugh!

It's the real fire extinguisher.

Well, at least the fire's out.

Hey.

I'm stuck.

That's because...

it's also instant bread!

Ta-da!

Yay!

Get it while it's hot!

It's a fire sale!

Now, who wants to buy some fun?

That's it!

I'm going where there won't be any fun!

Work.

What? Wait a minute.

Doh! My cornea!

Something's wrong with this money.

I better go tell Mr. Krabs.

What?

I'm not cleaning that up.

What's wrong, Squidward?

Huh?

Why do your teeth look weirder than usual?

Rubber teeth.

And this is a rubber spill.

And rubber money.

I bought all these pranks from your dad.

Aren't they hilarious?

Mr. Krabs!

SpongeBob is being obnoxious again!

Huh? Gyah!

Got ya! It's my famous rubber boss!

For only 99.99!

I can't take it anymore!

Hey, Squidward!

Your dad sold me this giant water balloon!

Only 49.99!

Catch!

Oh, no.

It's full of jellyfish!

Now to do something I should've done a long time ago.

Beautiful baby.

So, daddy dearest.

You like pranks, do ya?

I'll give this some pranks you'll never forget!

Morning, son. Looking chipper as always.

I have a present for you, Father.

For me?

You shouldn't have.

Oh, but you really deserve it.

I wonder what it could be.

Ow!

A surprise boxing glove?

I love it!

And a cream pie?

With itching cream!

And a stink bomb too!

Uh-oh.

Son! This is it.

The ultimate gag!

Ow!

- Whoa! - Not my pinky!

Pretty funny, right?

Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

Here, knock yourselves out.

Yeah!

You certainly take after your old man.

Ow!

I'm so proud of you for figuring out my ultimate gag.

Now I can share it with the world!

Ow!

I'll just go pack up my things and head out.

Really? That's all I ever wanted to hear you say.

Got ya!

Ha. Ha.