Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,747 --> 00:00:03,361
Bro!
2
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:06,949
This steakhouse for my bachelor
party tonight? Amazing!
3
00:00:07,148 --> 00:00:09,350
We got a bourbon
tasting, cigar lounge.
4
00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:11,941
I'm telling y'all, this
is the kind of place where
5
00:00:12,141 --> 00:00:15,599
there's a dude in the men's
room with mints and cologne.
6
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,492
Okay, well, I better
take some small bills,
7
00:00:17,692 --> 00:00:21,070
because I don't want to pay
five dollars for a Tic Tac.
8
00:00:22,834 --> 00:00:24,807
Have fun with your
meats and cigars.
9
00:00:25,006 --> 00:00:27,916
Us ladies will be right here
having cocktails and massages.
10
00:00:28,953 --> 00:00:32,610
Well, all right, girls,
get your ladies' night on.
11
00:00:33,766 --> 00:00:35,357
And enjoy these nights
while you can, Necie.
12
00:00:35,381 --> 00:00:37,543
Once you have babies, those
nights are far and few.
13
00:00:37,742 --> 00:00:40,204
Oh, yeah, that's true.
14
00:00:40,403 --> 00:00:42,685
Making you boys was fun as hell.
15
00:00:43,612 --> 00:00:48,067
But raising y'all, now, that's
been an exhausting ordeal.
16
00:00:50,957 --> 00:00:53,707
What are we supposed
to say to that?
17
00:00:53,907 --> 00:00:56,777
Just internalize it.
18
00:00:57,873 --> 00:01:00,454
Marty, you haven't told
your parents we decided
19
00:01:00,653 --> 00:01:01,650
not to have kids?
20
00:01:01,849 --> 00:01:03,763
Well, not in so many words.
21
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:06,025
Or any words.
22
00:01:07,021 --> 00:01:08,147
Come on, Marty.
23
00:01:08,915 --> 00:01:10,728
Look, Necie is about to
spend the entire night
24
00:01:10,928 --> 00:01:12,363
with a woman who's
already picked out
25
00:01:12,492 --> 00:01:14,954
six years' worth of her
grandkids' Easter outfits.
26
00:01:15,153 --> 00:01:17,077
I know. You're right.
27
00:01:17,276 --> 00:01:18,581
I'll tell them.
28
00:01:18,781 --> 00:01:19,977
Hey, you know what?
29
00:01:20,176 --> 00:01:21,810
Maybe they'll be so
excited about tonight,
30
00:01:21,870 --> 00:01:23,096
it won't even affect them.
31
00:01:23,295 --> 00:01:24,561
Oh, you think so?
32
00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:26,774
Hell nah. Barely
believed it as I said it.
33
00:01:27,813 --> 00:01:29,726
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
34
00:01:29,763 --> 00:01:31,069
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
35
00:01:36,035 --> 00:01:39,813
Well, I'm looking
good, I'm feeling good,
36
00:01:40,014 --> 00:01:41,652
and...
37
00:01:41,853 --> 00:01:44,146
and I'm smelling good.
38
00:01:45,277 --> 00:01:47,740
I am so excited for tonight.
39
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,603
Yeah, about that.
40
00:01:49,803 --> 00:01:53,217
Please keep in mind that tonight
is supposed to be Marty's night.
41
00:01:53,418 --> 00:01:54,749
Yeah, of course I know that.
42
00:01:54,950 --> 00:01:56,121
Do you?
43
00:01:56,321 --> 00:01:57,323
What are you getting at?
44
00:01:57,423 --> 00:01:58,664
I'm just saying, you don't
45
00:01:58,865 --> 00:02:01,248
have a great history
at bachelor parties.
46
00:02:04,612 --> 00:02:06,745
I don't know what
you're talking about.
47
00:02:06,945 --> 00:02:09,839
Dave, Kevin's bachelor
party in Canc n?
48
00:02:10,870 --> 00:02:12,442
Matthew's in New Orleans?
49
00:02:13,073 --> 00:02:14,495
Gary's bachelor
party that started
50
00:02:14,695 --> 00:02:16,517
in Las Vegas and ended in jail?
51
00:02:18,690 --> 00:02:22,765
It was a detention
cell at the Bellagio.
52
00:02:23,536 --> 00:02:26,860
I'm just saying, these events
bring out the worst in you.
53
00:02:27,061 --> 00:02:29,333
That's why your friends
gave you the nickname.
54
00:02:29,534 --> 00:02:31,937
Did they? I-I don't
even remember.
55
00:02:32,137 --> 00:02:33,559
The Douche.
56
00:02:35,662 --> 00:02:37,484
This is supposed
to be a nice night,
57
00:02:37,684 --> 00:02:39,907
not an episode of Entourage.
58
00:02:41,379 --> 00:02:45,965
I promise you, I left
that guy at the Bellagio.
59
00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:48,728
There will be no a-douche.
60
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:51,161
What's a douche?
61
00:02:53,054 --> 00:02:55,277
It's nothing. Dave, stop.
It's a feminine hygiene...
62
00:02:56,678 --> 00:02:59,252
It's used to... Dave, tap
out. Tap out. Tap out.
63
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:03,227
Never mind. I'll just
go ask the Internet.
64
00:03:08,904 --> 00:03:09,925
Knock, knock.
65
00:03:10,125 --> 00:03:12,098
Hey.
Lookin' spiffy, Dad.
66
00:03:12,298 --> 00:03:14,751
Well, that settles
that.
67
00:03:16,554 --> 00:03:17,705
Uh...
68
00:03:17,905 --> 00:03:20,509
Uh, can I talk to
you both for a sec?
69
00:03:20,709 --> 00:03:23,322
Well, can't it wait until
we're out of the bathroom?
70
00:03:23,522 --> 00:03:26,596
No, because I might
chicken out.
71
00:03:26,797 --> 00:03:30,501
So, you know how Necie and
I are an unconventional,
72
00:03:30,702 --> 00:03:32,674
modern couple with
bold sensibilities
73
00:03:32,874 --> 00:03:35,077
that don't conform
to outdated norms?
74
00:03:35,277 --> 00:03:38,542
Is one of those outdated
norms getting to the point?
75
00:03:41,766 --> 00:03:46,271
So, Necie and I discussed
the idea of having kids,
76
00:03:46,472 --> 00:03:47,643
and...
77
00:03:47,843 --> 00:03:50,277
we realized that we
don't need children
78
00:03:50,477 --> 00:03:52,600
in our lives to feel complete.
79
00:03:53,771 --> 00:03:55,693
It's the decision
that we've made,
80
00:03:55,894 --> 00:03:57,696
and we hope that
you can respect it.
81
00:03:57,896 --> 00:04:00,089
You... So...
82
00:04:06,167 --> 00:04:07,448
Okay.
83
00:04:07,659 --> 00:04:10,893
So, how's that landing
on everyone? Mama?
84
00:04:11,093 --> 00:04:13,636
Oh, I didn't know
you were finished.
85
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:16,520
Thanks for letting us know.
86
00:04:17,862 --> 00:04:18,863
That's it?
87
00:04:19,013 --> 00:04:21,416
Oh, I do have one
more thing to say.
88
00:04:21,616 --> 00:04:23,909
You boys have fun tonight.
89
00:04:24,811 --> 00:04:26,793
We will.
90
00:04:26,993 --> 00:04:29,507
Uh, you too, Mama.
91
00:04:29,707 --> 00:04:31,980
Thanks. Thanks for being
so cool about this.
92
00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:33,492
All right, now. Okay.
93
00:04:35,204 --> 00:04:37,657
Babe, are you sure
you're good with this?
94
00:04:37,857 --> 00:04:40,130
Would you look at this
mirror. It is filthy.
95
00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:42,263
Okay, Tina, that's not
what I'm talking abo...
96
00:04:42,463 --> 00:04:44,786
You know, I'm gonna get my
rubber gloves and some bleach.
97
00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,000
Oh, damn.
98
00:04:53,837 --> 00:04:55,235
Ooh, Calvin, listen.
Oh, good, listen.
99
00:04:55,259 --> 00:04:56,937
Let me tell you... Oh.
I need to, uh... No.
100
00:04:56,961 --> 00:04:58,233
Oh, sorry. No, you go. You go.
101
00:04:58,433 --> 00:04:59,651
No, you go. Okay.
Go, go, go. Go.
102
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:00,706
Okay, um...
103
00:05:00,906 --> 00:05:02,408
Can you keep an eye
on Dave tonight?
104
00:05:02,609 --> 00:05:04,721
He's not gonna try
to rap again, is he?
105
00:05:04,922 --> 00:05:06,353
He might.
106
00:05:06,554 --> 00:05:08,957
Bachelor parties are
a trigger for him.
107
00:05:09,157 --> 00:05:11,260
When he gets around
alcohol and male bonding,
108
00:05:11,460 --> 00:05:12,882
he turns into...
109
00:05:13,853 --> 00:05:17,608
There's no nice way to
say this: The Douche.
110
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:22,424
Huh. Okay, well, we got
bigger problems because
111
00:05:22,624 --> 00:05:27,430
Marty just told us that he and
Necie don't plan to have kids.
112
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:30,674
Oh, my God. How did
you guys take it?
113
00:05:30,875 --> 00:05:33,949
Well, I was disappointed,
but I get it.
114
00:05:34,149 --> 00:05:35,290
But Tina?
115
00:05:35,491 --> 00:05:37,053
Did she scream?
116
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,795
Ha! I wish.
117
00:05:38,995 --> 00:05:43,170
Tina's got three stages of
crazy before she loses it.
118
00:05:43,371 --> 00:05:48,117
One, she gets really quiet.
Two, she obsessively cleans.
119
00:05:48,317 --> 00:05:51,301
And three, she laughs at
stuff that's not even funny.
120
00:05:52,312 --> 00:05:53,524
Hey, girl!
121
00:05:53,724 --> 00:05:55,586
You ready to get
your massage on?
122
00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:59,992
Stage two?
123
00:06:00,963 --> 00:06:02,745
And hopefully we hold there.
124
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,118
At least I know my house
is going to be spotless.
125
00:06:05,319 --> 00:06:06,690
Yeah.
126
00:06:06,891 --> 00:06:11,296
We have
ants. So many ants.
127
00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:22,831
Whoa, whoa.
128
00:06:23,031 --> 00:06:24,793
Wh-What happened to
the limo I ordered?
129
00:06:25,004 --> 00:06:27,407
The limo didn't have
no stripper pole.
130
00:06:27,607 --> 00:06:29,780
That was the point, Trey.
131
00:06:29,980 --> 00:06:31,412
Oh, check it out.
132
00:06:31,612 --> 00:06:34,205
It's about to be insane!
133
00:06:35,207 --> 00:06:36,759
You're welcome.
134
00:06:36,959 --> 00:06:40,033
Trey, this bus better be taking
us to that classy steakhouse.
135
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,205
It is. Where we
are going to have
136
00:06:42,406 --> 00:06:43,137
a classy bourbon tasting.
137
00:06:43,337 --> 00:06:45,650
Yes. And no strippers.
138
00:06:45,850 --> 00:06:48,083
Well, now I got to make a call.
139
00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,526
Oh. Come on, man.
140
00:06:50,726 --> 00:06:54,211
I'll tell you, if these seats
are sticky, I'm taking an Uber.
141
00:06:55,953 --> 00:06:56,954
Dave, are you okay?
142
00:06:57,034 --> 00:06:58,847
Yeah, I'm fine. Fine.
143
00:06:59,047 --> 00:07:01,480
What are you doing,
man? It's just a bus.
144
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:03,002
A party bus.
145
00:07:05,745 --> 00:07:07,107
Oh, boy.
146
00:07:10,421 --> 00:07:12,845
Hey, Necie, what's
up? Miss Tina.
147
00:07:13,045 --> 00:07:14,647
This is my friend Bree.
148
00:07:14,847 --> 00:07:16,079
Hi. So nice to meet you.
149
00:07:16,279 --> 00:07:17,997
Oh, nice to meet you.
Make yourself at home.
150
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,293
So, Necie...
151
00:07:19,493 --> 00:07:21,596
Huh? Oh, Tina, this
is so interesting.
152
00:07:21,796 --> 00:07:23,798
What? Did you know Bree
has some big, big news?
153
00:07:23,999 --> 00:07:26,702
Mm. She's about to be on
Broadway and In the Heights.
154
00:07:26,902 --> 00:07:29,976
Oh, is that right? Uh-huh.
155
00:07:30,177 --> 00:07:31,999
Anyways, Necie, I have
a question for you.
156
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,522
Have you ever seen
a pair of boots
157
00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:37,165
in the store and said, "I
don't want those boots,"
158
00:07:37,366 --> 00:07:40,039
but later you think, "I
wish I'd bought them"?
159
00:07:40,239 --> 00:07:42,272
So you go back to the
store, but it's too late,
160
00:07:42,472 --> 00:07:44,915
the boots are gone, and now
all your friends have boots,
161
00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:47,499
but you're too old to
have boots? You know?
162
00:07:49,241 --> 00:07:50,923
I'm sorry, what is the question?
163
00:07:51,123 --> 00:07:52,435
Well, I was trying to ask...
164
00:07:52,635 --> 00:07:54,157
Okay, ready for the
first two massages.
165
00:07:54,237 --> 00:07:56,440
Oh, thank God. Bree,
Necie, you guys go first.
166
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,894
Oh, I don't have to
go... No, go, go, go, go.
167
00:08:02,968 --> 00:08:04,791
You know what? This
bus isn't so bad.
168
00:08:04,991 --> 00:08:07,194
Man, you know what?
It is kind of fun.
169
00:08:07,394 --> 00:08:08,465
Yeah, man.
170
00:08:08,666 --> 00:08:09,667
Whoa! Okay, then.
171
00:08:09,867 --> 00:08:12,410
Uh, why is this pole warm?
172
00:08:12,611 --> 00:08:15,254
Wait a minute.
Was it just used?
173
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:16,456
No, man.
174
00:08:16,486 --> 00:08:19,039
The heater pole is a feature.
175
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,832
I'm gonna need hand sanitizer.
176
00:08:22,033 --> 00:08:25,237
I got you.
177
00:08:25,437 --> 00:08:27,279
What?
178
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,913
This thing is full
of Jell-O shots!
179
00:08:30,113 --> 00:08:31,284
Oh, boy.
180
00:08:31,485 --> 00:08:33,707
Well, all right!
181
00:08:34,879 --> 00:08:36,401
What are you doing, Trey?
182
00:08:36,601 --> 00:08:40,386
Jell-O shots? Are we
pledging a sorority?
183
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,481
I guess one won't
hurt. Yeah, to Marty.
184
00:08:44,681 --> 00:08:45,983
To Marty.
185
00:08:46,183 --> 00:08:47,505
All right.
186
00:08:48,346 --> 00:08:51,580
I think someone put
alcohol liquor in these.
187
00:08:53,022 --> 00:08:55,906
You know, things went so
well with Mom and Dad,
188
00:08:56,106 --> 00:08:58,379
I'm actually in a
Jell-O shots mood.
189
00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:01,453
Hey, Dave? Dave, I thought
we agreed to one shot.
190
00:09:01,653 --> 00:09:04,527
Yes, one green shot.
These are purple.
191
00:09:04,727 --> 00:09:07,391
This must be Jell-O, because
jam don't shake like that!
192
00:09:07,558 --> 00:09:08,615
Let's go, boys! Hey...
193
00:09:14,851 --> 00:09:16,965
Marty, I didn't think this
night could get any better.
194
00:09:17,164 --> 00:09:20,778
But there's a
Snorlax in this room.
195
00:09:22,116 --> 00:09:25,491
Okay, okay, use your lucky
Pok Ball to catch them,
196
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,747
but don't let my brother
see what you're doing.
197
00:09:28,576 --> 00:09:29,614
Hey, what's up? Whoa! Uh...
198
00:09:29,794 --> 00:09:31,621
Looking at sports!
199
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,087
Sports. Sports.
200
00:09:34,287 --> 00:09:36,503
Okay. Yeah.
201
00:09:38,101 --> 00:09:40,457
Ah, what a night.
202
00:09:40,657 --> 00:09:42,514
Out on the town with my boys,
203
00:09:42,714 --> 00:09:45,978
enjoying steaks,
whiskey and cigars.
204
00:09:46,178 --> 00:09:49,113
Manly men manning it up.
205
00:09:52,079 --> 00:09:54,824
Daddy! Help me,
it's in my lungs!
206
00:09:55,723 --> 00:09:57,091
Boy, it's not even lit.
207
00:09:58,359 --> 00:10:00,106
But it's about to be!
208
00:10:06,017 --> 00:10:08,483
Marty, your friend is so cool.
209
00:10:10,450 --> 00:10:13,435
Gentlemen, who here has done
a bourbon tasting before?
210
00:10:13,634 --> 00:10:17,169
Oh, uh, Montez and
I are familiar.
211
00:10:17,369 --> 00:10:20,144
M-Montez, where are
you at? Hey, Montez.
212
00:10:21,742 --> 00:10:24,028
Dave, Dave, would
you calm down, man?
213
00:10:24,228 --> 00:10:26,095
Hmm. Uh-oh.
214
00:10:26,294 --> 00:10:27,942
Dad's mad.
215
00:10:28,970 --> 00:10:32,884
Now, the reason we use snifters
is: it concentrates the nose.
216
00:10:33,084 --> 00:10:35,090
And if you give it
a little swirl...
217
00:10:35,290 --> 00:10:36,668
Mmm!
218
00:10:40,272 --> 00:10:42,698
My tummy is a-toasty.
219
00:10:43,996 --> 00:10:46,059
Maybe I should just go ahead
and take your dinner orders.
220
00:10:46,083 --> 00:10:47,581
Yeah, yeah. Ooh, I got you.
221
00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:51,544
Simone, tomahawk steaks
all around. Rare.
222
00:10:51,744 --> 00:10:53,741
Still mooin'. Derek,
can I get a moo?
223
00:10:53,941 --> 00:10:54,939
Moo!
224
00:10:55,009 --> 00:10:56,247
Yeah, Derek!
225
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,723
Uh, no, no, no. No mooing.
226
00:10:59,452 --> 00:11:00,810
Simone, I don't
want my steak rare.
227
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:01,908
I want it well-done.
228
00:11:02,068 --> 00:11:04,174
All right? No mooing at all.
229
00:11:04,374 --> 00:11:05,732
Dead.
230
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:09,117
Only thing red I want to
see on my plate is ketchup.
231
00:11:10,684 --> 00:11:14,069
Dudes, what are we doing?
232
00:11:14,268 --> 00:11:16,546
Marty is about to get married,
and we're just sitting here
233
00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:18,811
like a bunch of babies
at a baby shower.
234
00:11:20,249 --> 00:11:21,357
What?
235
00:11:27,408 --> 00:11:29,255
What is going on?
236
00:11:29,454 --> 00:11:30,922
Trey, is there a
club in the back?
237
00:11:31,122 --> 00:11:32,490
Oh, my God.
238
00:11:32,689 --> 00:11:34,466
I'm just as shocked as you are.
239
00:11:36,773 --> 00:11:40,048
The bachelor party
gods have spoken.
240
00:11:40,247 --> 00:11:41,815
And they have said,
241
00:11:42,014 --> 00:11:43,402
"Let it be lit."
242
00:11:44,261 --> 00:11:45,958
No, no, Dave, Dave...
Dave, Dave, Dave...
243
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:47,875
And so it was!
244
00:11:49,473 --> 00:11:50,471
Trey, don't. No, no.
245
00:11:50,611 --> 00:11:51,779
Okay. Listen, guys,
246
00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:53,183
I got to go in
there and get them.
247
00:11:53,207 --> 00:11:54,750
I promised Gemma that
I wouldn't let Dave
248
00:11:54,774 --> 00:11:57,590
go off the deep end.
I got to go get him.
249
00:12:01,084 --> 00:12:03,940
Yo, it's been a minute
since Dad was in a club.
250
00:12:04,139 --> 00:12:06,605
Well, don't worry about
Pops. He can handle himself.
251
00:12:08,403 --> 00:12:09,930
Uh-uh, no, no, no.
252
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:12,576
He's on his own.
The Douche is loose.
253
00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:18,227
So, Bree seems nice.
254
00:12:18,427 --> 00:12:19,954
Who?
255
00:12:20,164 --> 00:12:21,821
Necie's friend.
256
00:12:22,021 --> 00:12:23,988
Oh, yeah, yeah. Great, great.
257
00:12:24,188 --> 00:12:27,792
Oh, you know, I bet if
we went to New York,
258
00:12:27,992 --> 00:12:30,058
she could get us house
seats to In the Heights.
259
00:12:30,258 --> 00:12:32,484
Oh, that'd be so fun, right?
260
00:12:32,684 --> 00:12:35,020
I haven't been to New
York since high school.
261
00:12:35,220 --> 00:12:36,288
Mmm.
262
00:12:36,488 --> 00:12:38,415
Not to brag, but
I was in Model UN.
263
00:12:38,615 --> 00:12:41,630
I represented the
country of Cameroon.
264
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,692
Tina?
265
00:12:48,389 --> 00:12:50,097
Oh, crap.
266
00:12:51,095 --> 00:12:53,711
Isn't this great, Bree?
267
00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:56,436
I can't remember the last
time I had a massage.
268
00:12:56,636 --> 00:12:59,152
Oh, yeah.
269
00:13:00,690 --> 00:13:03,905
You know, you should
treat yourself more often.
270
00:13:04,104 --> 00:13:05,362
Miss Tina?
271
00:13:05,562 --> 00:13:09,802
I'm so glad we're
going to have a chance to chat.
272
00:13:21,427 --> 00:13:23,115
You know what? I'd like
to propose a toast.
273
00:13:28,209 --> 00:13:31,717
Dudes, you have got
to come in there.
274
00:13:32,935 --> 00:13:35,077
Dave, where'd you get the tiara?
275
00:13:35,274 --> 00:13:37,376
Hmm? Oh, it's a crown.
276
00:13:37,573 --> 00:13:39,813
I'm royalty in there.
277
00:13:41,356 --> 00:13:42,525
Derek, come on.
278
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,313
Okay, but don't lose me.
279
00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:47,218
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, guys, guys, guys, come on.
280
00:13:47,241 --> 00:13:48,686
Come on. Look, sit down. Okay?
281
00:13:48,882 --> 00:13:52,557
Wait, look. My pops is trying
to give a speech. Come on, Dave.
282
00:13:52,754 --> 00:13:54,424
You're right. Sorry.
283
00:13:54,621 --> 00:13:55,937
Uh, Derek, sit down.
284
00:13:56,134 --> 00:13:59,573
Show a little respect.
Calvin, the floor is yours.
285
00:13:59,769 --> 00:14:01,469
Thank you, Dave.
286
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:05,901
Uh, I'd like to propose
a toast to my son Marty.
287
00:14:06,097 --> 00:14:07,345
Hey.
288
00:14:07,541 --> 00:14:09,625
I mean, it seems like only
yesterday I was holding you
289
00:14:09,703 --> 00:14:11,541
in my arms for the
very first time.
290
00:14:11,737 --> 00:14:14,194
Next thing you know,
you were a little kid
291
00:14:14,390 --> 00:14:15,933
on my shoulders at the zoo,
292
00:14:16,129 --> 00:14:19,372
just going on and on
with your penguin facts
293
00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:22,270
while your snow cone
dripped on my head.
294
00:14:23,685 --> 00:14:25,670
But I just let it
drip because I never
295
00:14:25,867 --> 00:14:28,402
wanted you to stop
telling me things.
296
00:14:29,492 --> 00:14:32,617
The amount of joy that you
and Malcolm have given me,
297
00:14:32,813 --> 00:14:34,385
it's just been amazing.
298
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,402
The Christmas mornings,
the school projects,
299
00:14:37,598 --> 00:14:39,357
even the broken arms.
300
00:14:42,108 --> 00:14:44,899
I wouldn't change one
minute of it for anything.
301
00:14:45,882 --> 00:14:47,434
Now you're getting married.
302
00:14:49,242 --> 00:14:51,472
That means I got to let you go.
303
00:14:51,669 --> 00:14:53,762
So...
304
00:14:53,958 --> 00:14:55,501
To my baby boy Marty.
305
00:14:55,698 --> 00:14:57,407
I love you, son.
I love you, man.
306
00:14:57,604 --> 00:14:59,942
Ah...
307
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,155
I want babies!
308
00:15:06,732 --> 00:15:10,190
I want snow cone juice
to drip on my head.
309
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,410
I want babies so bad.
310
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,009
Mmm.
311
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,541
What's that scent?
312
00:15:19,741 --> 00:15:21,684
Huh, I think it's lavender.
313
00:15:21,884 --> 00:15:24,979
Ooh, I think you're right.
314
00:15:26,141 --> 00:15:29,566
While we're on the subject...
315
00:15:29,766 --> 00:15:31,419
Why do you hate kids?
316
00:15:32,491 --> 00:15:34,283
What? I love kids.
317
00:15:34,484 --> 00:15:36,457
I'm godmother to
both of Bree's kids.
318
00:15:36,657 --> 00:15:38,490
Who the hell is Bree?
319
00:15:38,690 --> 00:15:41,604
The woman you kicked
off the massage table.
320
00:15:41,805 --> 00:15:43,067
Oh.
321
00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:46,161
Yeah, yeah, yeah, th-the
one from Hamilton.
322
00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:52,160
I mean, what is it? Is
it about your career?
323
00:15:52,361 --> 00:15:53,693
Traveling?
324
00:15:53,893 --> 00:15:56,557
Do you have a bad
relationship with your mother?
325
00:15:58,260 --> 00:15:59,281
I love my mother.
326
00:15:59,482 --> 00:16:02,907
I think we'll take a five.
327
00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:07,734
Is it your body? Because...
328
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,717
I can carry the baby.
329
00:16:10,588 --> 00:16:14,094
My doctor says I have the
uterus of a 24-year-old.
330
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,193
Miss Tina...
331
00:16:20,393 --> 00:16:23,338
there are so many things
I want to do with my life.
332
00:16:23,538 --> 00:16:27,164
Being a mother just doesn't
happen to be one of them.
333
00:16:29,307 --> 00:16:32,191
I just don't get it.
334
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:35,466
How could you not
want to be a mother?
335
00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:38,641
It's just who I am.
336
00:16:38,841 --> 00:16:41,596
How could you not
want to be a boxer?
337
00:16:42,607 --> 00:16:44,420
Come on now, that's
totally different.
338
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:47,014
Mm, they both hurt.
339
00:16:48,586 --> 00:16:51,210
Tell me about it.
340
00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:53,584
But children, they-they bring
341
00:16:53,784 --> 00:16:56,158
so much laughter and-and joy.
342
00:16:56,358 --> 00:16:59,563
Marty brings me so
much laughter and joy.
343
00:16:59,763 --> 00:17:02,107
Yeah, okay, but Marty is...
344
00:17:02,307 --> 00:17:03,469
We love each other,
345
00:17:03,669 --> 00:17:06,944
and we're happy with
the choice we've made,
346
00:17:07,144 --> 00:17:09,838
even if it's not the
choice you would've made.
347
00:17:13,083 --> 00:17:14,315
You're right.
348
00:17:15,787 --> 00:17:18,442
I've been putting
my dreams on you,
349
00:17:18,642 --> 00:17:20,264
and that's not fair.
350
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,559
I guess I was just
a little surprised
351
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,693
when Marty told us.
352
00:17:25,893 --> 00:17:28,567
He always talked
about being a dad.
353
00:17:28,767 --> 00:17:29,769
Really?
354
00:17:29,939 --> 00:17:32,082
Look around. Look
at all these toys.
355
00:17:32,283 --> 00:17:34,716
I've been trying to throw
these toys out for years,
356
00:17:34,917 --> 00:17:36,389
but Marty would never let me.
357
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,213
He says, "Mom,
they're classics."
358
00:17:42,288 --> 00:17:44,721
He wanted to save
them for his kids.
359
00:17:45,663 --> 00:17:50,040
I guess, um, this news
caught me a little off guard.
360
00:17:51,642 --> 00:17:53,665
Marty never told me that.
361
00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:56,860
You know, I owe you an apology.
362
00:17:58,162 --> 00:18:00,145
I don't know if you
noticed, but, uh,
363
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:02,508
I've been a little
crazy this evening.
364
00:18:05,984 --> 00:18:07,396
Will you forgive me?
365
00:18:10,541 --> 00:18:12,283
No, Tina, stop. What?
366
00:18:12,484 --> 00:18:16,039
Oh, you're hugging.
Phew. As you were.
367
00:18:22,639 --> 00:18:24,772
Hey, uh, Marty.
368
00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:26,585
The things I said in my toast...
369
00:18:26,785 --> 00:18:28,047
Listen, I wasn't trying to...
370
00:18:28,248 --> 00:18:30,321
No, it's-it's okay, Dad.
371
00:18:30,521 --> 00:18:31,663
Okay.
372
00:18:31,863 --> 00:18:33,311
That was my favorite thing
you've ever said to me.
373
00:18:33,335 --> 00:18:35,288
Even though it was
Malcolm at the zoo.
374
00:18:36,590 --> 00:18:38,643
Really? Yup.
375
00:18:38,844 --> 00:18:40,086
Marty hated penguins.
376
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,319
Scared the
hell out of me.
377
00:18:42,519 --> 00:18:43,591
They still do.
378
00:18:43,791 --> 00:18:45,333
But...
379
00:18:45,534 --> 00:18:48,268
you're still the best
dad a guy could ask for.
380
00:18:48,468 --> 00:18:49,870
And hearing how
much being a father
381
00:18:50,071 --> 00:18:53,015
meant to you, I want that.
382
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,818
Are you sure?
383
00:18:55,018 --> 00:18:56,490
Because I feel like
384
00:18:56,691 --> 00:18:58,624
I should've just kept
my big mouth closed.
385
00:18:58,824 --> 00:19:01,097
No, I'm sure.
386
00:19:01,298 --> 00:19:03,070
You know, I told myself
I didn't want kids,
387
00:19:03,271 --> 00:19:06,215
but I was lying to myself
388
00:19:06,416 --> 00:19:07,968
and to Necie.
389
00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:11,864
So... who cried at Six Flags?
390
00:19:12,064 --> 00:19:13,336
That was you, right?
391
00:19:13,536 --> 00:19:15,710
Yup, yup, that was me. Yeah.
392
00:19:15,910 --> 00:19:17,352
Yeah, that was
definitely Marty. Okay.
393
00:19:17,542 --> 00:19:19,305
Remember he was scared
on the roller coaster?
394
00:19:19,345 --> 00:19:21,649
No, you pretended the
safety bar wouldn't latch.
395
00:19:23,391 --> 00:19:25,074
And he cried, he was
crying. He was crying.
396
00:19:25,234 --> 00:19:27,167
"Daddy, get me out of here."
397
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,611
Oh, the guys are here.
398
00:19:29,811 --> 00:19:32,816
Derek, me, you, Frisbee golf,
399
00:19:33,016 --> 00:19:34,849
next weekend. Montez,
400
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:37,142
blow up my DMs, please.
401
00:19:41,018 --> 00:19:43,141
I see you met The Douche.
402
00:19:43,342 --> 00:19:44,113
Yup.
403
00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:46,366
Not a fan. Uh-uh.
404
00:19:47,738 --> 00:19:50,062
Ooh. Okay, babe,
405
00:19:50,262 --> 00:19:51,504
you are not gonna believe this,
406
00:19:51,594 --> 00:19:53,397
but Necie and I
just talked, and...
407
00:19:53,597 --> 00:19:56,612
I'm actually okay with
them not wanting babies.
408
00:19:56,812 --> 00:19:58,415
Well, I got news for you.
409
00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:00,988
Marty actually does want babies.
410
00:20:01,189 --> 00:20:02,791
He does?
411
00:20:02,991 --> 00:20:04,664
Hmm.
412
00:20:04,864 --> 00:20:08,570
Uh-oh.
413
00:20:08,770 --> 00:20:10,242
Necie, hey.
414
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:11,474
Hey.
415
00:20:11,675 --> 00:20:12,786
You guys have fun?
416
00:20:12,987 --> 00:20:15,090
Yeah, yeah. You?
417
00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:17,463
Yeah, yeah.
418
00:20:17,664 --> 00:20:20,598
Look, I think we should talk.
419
00:20:20,799 --> 00:20:23,723
Yeah, I was just about
to say the same thing.
420
00:20:24,594 --> 00:20:26,016
Whoa, whoa, whoa, dudes.
421
00:20:26,217 --> 00:20:28,420
Oh, God, here he comes. Go
in the house. Go, go, go, go.
422
00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:31,465
Dudes, dudes.
Where are we going?
423
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,574
I thought we were gonna go
out and slam some waffles.
424
00:20:33,598 --> 00:20:35,511
Dave, come on, let's go home.
425
00:20:35,711 --> 00:20:38,425
Let's go home, buddy. Come on.
426
00:20:39,597 --> 00:20:41,991
Hey, Derek, check this out.
This is who I'm married to.
427
00:20:42,191 --> 00:20:44,745
Smokeshow. Okay.
428
00:20:55,041 --> 00:20:58,095
Captioning sponsored by CBS
429
00:20:58,295 --> 00:21:00,699
and TOYOTA.
430
00:21:00,899 --> 00:21:04,295
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
30402
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof