All language subtitles for Sixteen.Candles.1984.Extended.GBR.BluRay.Remux.1080p.AVC.DTS-HD.MA.5.1-TDD

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American) Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,586 --> 00:00:04,130 '...looks good. 2 00:00:04,255 --> 00:00:07,466 'On the Northwest toll eastbound, traffic is moving nicely this morning 3 00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:09,844 'from Meacham Road all the way down to River Road. 4 00:00:09,969 --> 00:00:13,472 'Westbound, there's now a 20-car backup at the Devon Avenue toll. 5 00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:16,684 'And on the northbound I-290 extension at Thorndale Avenue, 6 00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:18,352 'we had a spinout there. 7 00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:20,479 'And that car was blocking the right-hand lane, 8 00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:23,024 'and also blocking the lane that's coming off 9 00:00:23,149 --> 00:00:27,153 'of the eastbound Thorndale Avenue entrance ramp, 10 00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:30,573 'leading to the northbound I-290 extension. 11 00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:33,409 'This was causing a backup to Irving Park. We have...' 12 00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,395 Come on, chop, chop. We got relatives invading this afternoon. 13 00:00:40,458 --> 00:00:44,336 Ginny, Mike, Sara, Sam! Come on, everybody up. 14 00:00:46,839 --> 00:00:48,924 I think I have a fever. 15 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:52,011 - You don't have a fever. - Shut your face. 16 00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:53,929 Make me. 17 00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,556 Dad, Mike hit me! 18 00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:57,016 You liar! 19 00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:59,143 Mike! Come on, pal. We got a wedding tomorrow. 20 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,686 Try to cooperate, will you? 21 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:02,354 Dad, I didn't hit her. 22 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:06,400 I'd like to very much and I probably will later, but give me a break. 23 00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:09,487 You know my method. I don't hit her when you're just down the hall. 24 00:01:09,612 --> 00:01:11,530 Pick on someone your own size. 25 00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:15,076 Open this door. 26 00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:19,205 Daddy, I'm the one getting married. 27 00:01:19,789 --> 00:01:22,541 Not until tomorrow. Come on, I've got a mouthful of toothpaste. 28 00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:25,753 I happen to have a serious problem. 29 00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:28,089 Dad. 30 00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:31,133 She got her period. Should make for an interesting honeymoon, huh? 31 00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:34,386 - Where are you learning that stuff? - School. 32 00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:37,556 Good. Getting my money's worth. 33 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:42,061 'They were fantastic. Just great. What a great crowd. 34 00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,479 'And it was so much fun...' 35 00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,900 ♪ It would fall through the hole in your pocket 36 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,319 ♪ And you'd lose it in the snow on the ground 37 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,781 ♪ You got to walk into town to find a job 38 00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:56,450 ♪ Trying to keep your hands warm... ♪ 39 00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:59,036 Chronologically, you're 16 today. 40 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,455 Physically, 41 00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:04,750 you're still 15. 42 00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:11,423 Hopeless. 43 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:17,805 Nope. I look exactly the same as I have since summer. 44 00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:20,558 Utterly forgettable. 45 00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:23,769 No, I didn't expect to wake up transformed. 46 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:26,230 I just thought that turning 16 would be so major, 47 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:30,651 that I'd wake up with an improved mental state that would show in my face. 48 00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:34,697 All that shows is that I don't have any sort of a tan left. 49 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:37,032 I better get downstairs. 50 00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:40,995 My family's probably pissed off I haven't let them wish me happy birthday yet. 51 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,664 All right. I'll see you at school. 52 00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:51,881 You need four inches of bod and a great birthday. 53 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,391 - Where's my briefcase? - Where'd you leave it? 54 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,680 - Don't be a smart-ass. - OK, I'll be a dumb-ass. 55 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,682 - You already are. - OK. 56 00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:04,018 - OK, where's Sam? - Where's my briefcase? 57 00:03:04,143 --> 00:03:05,936 - Sam? - Allow me, Brenda. 58 00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:07,563 Hey, birth defect! 59 00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:10,065 You missed breakfast again. 60 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:13,253 It wasn't my idea to give her her own phone line, I don't have my own phone line. 61 00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:15,362 - Mike, lift or I'll punch you. - Grab a doughnut. 62 00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:17,156 You're totally infected. 63 00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,992 It's small, it's brown, it's made of leather, 64 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:23,370 it has my initials on it. And I believe... That's it. 65 00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,956 Don't forget the grandparents are coming this afternoon. 66 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,684 Are we still having dinner with the Rice Chex? 67 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,919 Ryszczyks. Eight o'clock at the club. 68 00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:33,047 Oh, and you better learn their names. As of tomorrow, they're family. 69 00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:34,673 That's a lovely thought. 70 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:37,760 When it comes your turn to get married, do me a favour. Elope. 71 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,303 Who'd marry her? 72 00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:40,679 Mr T. 73 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,973 Oh, I'm sorry, you'll have to buy lunch today. 74 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,725 I didn't have time to fix your carrots. 75 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:47,853 Yeah, well, she's only eating carrots to increase the size of her breasts. 76 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:52,066 Mister, you had better shape up, or you will miss your sister's wedding. 77 00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:53,400 Promise? 78 00:03:57,238 --> 00:04:00,157 Now, don't give me that pouty look of yours. 79 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,826 You can eat your carrots when you get home. 80 00:04:02,952 --> 00:04:06,038 That's it? You don't have anything else to say to me today? 81 00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:09,333 What would you like me to say, Sam? 82 00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:13,170 Come on now, honey. You're gonna miss the bus. 83 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:15,130 Have a good day. 84 00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:19,635 I can't believe this. 85 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,679 They fucking forgot my birthday. 86 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:24,510 I'm sure they didn't forget your birthday. They just didn't remember it right away. 87 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:26,762 Same difference. 88 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,491 I know it's a drag that your sweet sixteen's the day before Ginny gets married, 89 00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:31,266 but big deal! They'll remember. 90 00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:33,977 Oh, easy for you to say. Did anyone ever forget your birthday? 91 00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:35,104 Come on, Sam. 92 00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:37,022 Everything's just getting shittier. 93 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,733 My family forgetting my birthday just makes it more vivid. 94 00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:41,819 What do you expect, a breakfast birthday party? 95 00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:44,196 No, but they could have at least said "happy birthday". 96 00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:46,615 I mean, it was just like any other day. 97 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,450 Why don't you remind them? 98 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,078 They'll feel some massive guilt. It could be highly profitable. 99 00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:53,580 I wouldn't stoop to remind them. 100 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:56,184 Since I was about 12, I've been looking forward to my sweet sixteen. 101 00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:58,710 You know, a big party and a band, 102 00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:00,462 - with tons of people. - Tons of people. 103 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:03,841 And a big Trans Am in the driveway with a ribbon around it. 104 00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:06,844 And some incredibly gorgeous guy that you meet, like, in France. 105 00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:09,280 And you do it on a cloud without getting pregnant or herpes. 106 00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,825 - I don't need the cloud. - Just a pink Trans Am and the guy, right? 107 00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:13,392 - A black one. - A black guy? 108 00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,644 A black Trans Am. A pink guy. 109 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,855 Oh, no. 110 00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:26,113 ♪ I remember always, always I got such a fright 111 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:32,202 ♪ Seeing them in my dark cupboard With my great big cake 112 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:38,792 ♪ If they were me, if they were me And I was you, and I was you 113 00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:44,882 ♪ If they were me, if they were me And I was you, and I was you 114 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:50,053 ♪ If they were me, and I was you Would you've liked a present too? 115 00:07:57,352 --> 00:08:02,524 ♪ Happy, happy birthday in a hot bath To those nice, nice nights 116 00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:09,740 ♪ I remember always, always I got such a fright 117 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:15,704 ♪ Seeing them in my dark cupboard With my great big cake 118 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:21,627 ♪ If they were me, if they were me And I was you, and I was you 119 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:28,175 ♪ If they were me, if they were me And I was you, and I was you 120 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:34,306 ♪ If they were me, and I was you Would you've liked a present too? 121 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:50,906 ♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday 122 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:57,704 ♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday 123 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:03,210 ♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday 124 00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:09,341 ♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday 125 00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:15,847 ♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday 126 00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:21,979 ♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday... ♪ 127 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:28,777 - You swear to God you don't have it? - I don't know anything about it. 128 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,363 Jennifer Woods gave me a sex test during Child Development, 129 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:34,741 and I was supposed to do it and pass it to you in Independent Study. 130 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:38,161 - I'm totally screwed. - Did you put your name on it? 131 00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:39,413 Hi. 132 00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:41,331 No, but it was really embarrassing. 133 00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:43,667 I had to name who I'd do it with if I ever did it. 134 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,335 Who'd you name? 135 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,213 - Jake Ryan. - Jake Ryan? 136 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:50,465 He doesn't even know you exist. 137 00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,634 Thank you. That's a very nice thing to say. 138 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,469 I'm sorry. But Jake Ryan? 139 00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:57,431 He's a senior, and he's taken. I mean, really taken. 140 00:09:57,556 --> 00:10:00,267 I know. It was supposed to be my ideal. 141 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:03,520 He's ideal, for sure, but forget it. 142 00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:07,733 God, I hope whoever got the note doesn't know it was me who wrote it. 143 00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:09,943 I'd shit twice and die. 144 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:39,639 I can't believe I'm actually going to consume a school hamburger. 145 00:10:39,765 --> 00:10:42,434 You know, they're not that bad since they started using meat. 146 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,019 What happened to your carrots? 147 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,396 Oh, Brenda was busy today. 148 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:50,901 If she can't remember my birthday, you can't expect her to remember my carrots. 149 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:55,530 - Are they working? - I'm not sure. 150 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:02,204 Since I started eating them, there's been, like, a 1/16 inch difference. 151 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,581 If I breathe in real deep, I get half an inch. 152 00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:07,834 I think the power of the carrot is definitely overrated. 153 00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:13,840 Thank you. 154 00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:32,192 - What are you doing? - Jake's here. 155 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,403 I don't want him to know I eat. 156 00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:41,326 Do you know Samantha Baker? 157 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,413 Sophomore, right? 158 00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:47,791 Yeah. What do you think of her? 159 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,502 I don't. 160 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,922 Would you ever go out with her? 161 00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:57,426 Depends on how much you paid me. 162 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,636 She's not ugly. 163 00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:05,851 There's nothing there, man. It's not ugly, it's just... void. 164 00:12:05,976 --> 00:12:08,353 - You know what I mean? - There's something about her. 165 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:11,690 I do Independent Study with her. I catch her looking at me a lot. 166 00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:14,943 It's kind of cool, the way she's always looking at me. 167 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,154 Maybe she's retarded. 168 00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:19,281 I'm being serious, OK? 169 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:22,492 She looks at me like she's in love with me. 170 00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,578 Jake, she's a child. 171 00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:26,830 So? 172 00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:31,710 So what are you gonna do with her? She's obviously too young to party serious. 173 00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:34,713 Maybe I'm interested in more than a party. 174 00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,966 Come on, Jake. You talk like you're hard up. 175 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,594 You got Caroline. Now she's a woman. 176 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,600 It's unbelievable. 177 00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:49,936 I swear to God, Caroline Mulford had to flunk about nine grades. 178 00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:54,191 - Truly makes me ill. - She's perfect. 179 00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:57,277 Practically impossible to cut up. 180 00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:58,737 She's supposedly real sweet. 181 00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:02,574 Brother's deaf, and everybody in the world worships her. 182 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,201 And she's going with Jake. 183 00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:07,287 Oh, I'm gonna kill myself. 184 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,039 My man. 185 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:27,349 I loathe the bus. 186 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:36,733 There has to be a more dignified mode of transportation. 187 00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:39,236 I hope you get a car for your birthday and a licence. 188 00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:41,196 Let's not hold our breath. 189 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,910 Score. A direct hit. 190 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,039 On second thought... 191 00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:17,899 Move it. 192 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:27,617 Call me, OK? 193 00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:30,036 You call me first. Tell me what happened at home. 194 00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:32,247 I can tell you right now. Nothing. 195 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:35,709 Would you quit feeling sorry for yourself? It's bad for your complexion. 196 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,523 How's it going? 197 00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,483 How's what going? 198 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:05,447 You know, things, life, whatnot. 199 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,533 Life is not whatnot, and it's none of your business. 200 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,581 Huh! So you going to the New Faces dance tonight or... 201 00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,833 That's also none of your business. 202 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,923 Are you inhibited about dancing in public? I mean... 203 00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:26,676 You don't have to dance. I mean, you could just stand there 204 00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:28,887 with me and my dudes and just be you, and... 205 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,847 Sounds major. 206 00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:36,173 So, I mean, what's the story? I mean, you got a guy, or... 207 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,396 Yes, three big ones, and they lust for wimp blood, 208 00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:41,983 so quit bugging me, or I'll sic them all over your weenie ass. 209 00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:45,838 You know, I'm getting input here that I'm reading as relatively hostile. 210 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,239 - I mean, it's just... - Go to hell. 211 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,159 Very hostile. 212 00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:56,748 Come on, what's the problem here? I'm a boy, you're a girl. 213 00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,768 Is there anything wrong with me trying to put together 214 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,794 some kind of relationship between us? 215 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:05,048 OK, look, I know you have to go. Just answer me one question. 216 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,800 Yes, you're a total fag. 217 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,345 That's not the question. 218 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,972 Am I turning you on? 219 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:24,109 It's encouraging. 220 00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:26,444 - Very encouraging. - Yeah... Uh-huh. 221 00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:29,114 You know, a girl with a hat is just so... 222 00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:30,573 vogue. 223 00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:31,866 Yeah. 224 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,884 Where are my blue socks, Dorothy? 225 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,011 You mean to tell me you didn't pack them? 226 00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:53,972 Oh, not again, Howard! 227 00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:58,268 Can't I trust you to do anything? Do you expect me to do all the packing? 228 00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:02,480 Well, at least I brought this for you. It... 229 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,482 Sam! 230 00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:06,317 Samantha. 231 00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:08,570 - Look. - Oh, look. 232 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,365 - Hi. - Hi. 233 00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:14,701 Oh, God. 234 00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,913 Oh, sweetheart. 235 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,124 My goodness, are you a sight for sore eyes. 236 00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:24,586 Mwah! And mwah! 237 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,421 Oh, good. Just look. 238 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,215 - How are you, my little lamb chop? - Hello. 239 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:31,176 - I'm fine, Grandpa. - Fine. 240 00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,052 - How are you guys? - Oh, we're pretty good. 241 00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,906 - Of course, I get the lower back pain. - Oh, my corns are killing me. 242 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,742 - And arthritis in my fingers. - I still have those headaches. 243 00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:41,394 - But I brought the ice bag... - So are you... You're sleeping up here? 244 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,021 - Yeah. - Yeah. 245 00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:46,065 Your grandfather Fred jumped our claim on Sara's room. 246 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:49,611 - So here we are. We gotta sleep up here. - Well, I haven't seen you guys in a while. 247 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,488 Do I look any older today? 248 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,449 Oh, no, no, I wouldn't say so. Do you think so, darling? 249 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,076 No. Oh, I hope it isn't cold tomorrow. 250 00:17:57,202 --> 00:18:00,580 You know Ginny. She'll refuse to wear a hat and coat over her wedding dress. 251 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,415 Well, if she does, you mustn't bug her 252 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:04,810 - because if a girl does not... - I'm not gonna bug her... 253 00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,754 I'm gonna go set myself up in Mike's room. So I'll see you guys later. 254 00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:09,639 - OK, sweetheart. - Oh, look, there she goes. 255 00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:13,843 Grandpa and I are looking forward to a nice, long, long visit with you. 256 00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,512 - Aces! - We certainly are. 257 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,305 We're looking forward... 258 00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:20,892 Oh, see you a little later, darling. We've got a lot to... 259 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,563 I swear to God, this has got to be a joke. 260 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:28,107 Grandparents forgetting a birthday? 261 00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:31,110 They live for that shit. 262 00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:33,738 ♪ With my arms around you... ♪ 263 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:40,745 Well, well, if it isn't Sammy Baker Davis Jr. 264 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:44,040 - Hi, Grandpa. - Oh, I've got one for you. 265 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,750 - Knock, knock. - Who's there? 266 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:47,418 - Who. - Who, who? 267 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:51,172 Helen, we've got an owl out here in the hall. 268 00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:56,678 Fred, Fred, leave her alone. 269 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,972 - You'll make her tinkle. - Oh, come on, Helen. 270 00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:01,933 Oh, Sam, let me look at you. 271 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,105 Fred, she's gotten her boobies. 272 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:10,733 I'd better go get my magnifying glass. 273 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,362 Oh, and they are so perky. 274 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:31,045 I can't believe my grandmother actually felt me up. 275 00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:39,971 What's happening, hot stuff? 276 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,682 His name is Long Duk Dong. 277 00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,976 What? 278 00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,895 Long Duk Dong. 279 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,897 He came down with Grandma and Grandpa Baker. 280 00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:51,441 He's an exchange student that's living with them. 281 00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:53,401 Yeah, well, he's totally bizarre. 282 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,278 He is not. 283 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,572 He is a very sweet boy. 284 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:01,576 I just hope you burn the sheets and mattresses after he leaves. 285 00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:04,722 I don't suppose it makes any difference to you, 286 00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:06,906 but there's a very weird Chinese guy up in Mike's room. 287 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:09,918 Ginny dumped Rudy and he's her new fiancé. 288 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,878 Mike, stop it. 289 00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:15,840 Sam, honey, do you think you could help the grandmothers with supper? 290 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,801 Dad and I have to go to the club for dinner with the Rice Chex. 291 00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:20,386 Ryszczyks. 292 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:22,138 Oh, Ryszczyks. 293 00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:27,060 Erm, do you think that there's any reason that I should possibly stay home tonight? 294 00:20:27,185 --> 00:20:31,481 Well, I think it might be nice if you'd visit with your grandparents and Long Duk Dong. 295 00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:32,941 Who? 296 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:36,027 Erm, the weird Chinese guy in Mike's room. 297 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:38,279 I think I have a dance to go to. 298 00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:40,239 Well, that's OK. 299 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:44,410 Oh, can you remember to turn off the stove in 20 minutes? 300 00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:46,955 I can remember lots of things. 301 00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:55,380 This is the single worst day of my entire life. 302 00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:57,340 What the hell are you bitching about? 303 00:20:57,465 --> 00:21:00,551 I gotta sleep under some Chinaman named after a duck's dork. 304 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:05,431 - Well, where am I sleeping? - Sofa City, sweetheart. 305 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,691 Do you think Grandpa Fred's going to embarrass me? 306 00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:17,610 I don't know why not. He does everyone else. 307 00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:22,490 He already asked me if Rudy was the "oily variety bohunk". 308 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,325 Is he? 309 00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:25,660 Don't be cute. 310 00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:29,372 I really love Rudy. 311 00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:32,834 And he is totally enamoured of me. 312 00:21:34,752 --> 00:21:37,422 I mean, I've had men who've loved me before, 313 00:21:37,547 --> 00:21:40,925 but not for six months in a row. 314 00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:43,594 I think I'm in love. 315 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,014 So, how long have you been in love? 316 00:21:47,348 --> 00:21:49,017 Well, it hasn't really happened yet. 317 00:21:50,393 --> 00:21:52,353 So what's the deal? 318 00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:55,690 I'm not sure that he knows I exist. 319 00:21:58,109 --> 00:22:01,195 Sam, I really don't have time for this. 320 00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:04,657 Well, I'm sorry. 321 00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:06,909 I always listen to you talk about your boyfriends. 322 00:22:07,785 --> 00:22:10,329 Darling, is something bothering you? 323 00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:17,628 You're really acting like an asshole. 324 00:22:19,881 --> 00:22:21,424 And I think I know what it is. 325 00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:24,427 I think you're jealous that I'm getting married 326 00:22:24,552 --> 00:22:27,138 and that I'm getting all the attention. 327 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:33,102 You know, everybody in this family has just gone totally Outer Limits. 328 00:22:33,227 --> 00:22:34,812 No, Sam. 329 00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:38,900 I think you're just being a little selfish and immature. 330 00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:43,237 Oh, yes. That's it. 331 00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,364 That's exactly it. 332 00:22:48,159 --> 00:22:49,535 Unbelievable. 333 00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:52,580 You make someone a bridesmaid, and they shit all over you. 334 00:23:03,174 --> 00:23:05,051 Very clever dinner. 335 00:23:05,176 --> 00:23:09,764 Appetising food fit neatly into interesting round pie. 336 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,182 It's a quiche. 337 00:23:12,475 --> 00:23:16,646 - How do you spell? - Well, you don't spell it, son, you eat it. 338 00:23:18,356 --> 00:23:21,734 Dong has only been in our country a short time, Fred. 339 00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:25,238 - I think we could all help him assimilate. - Oh... 340 00:23:25,822 --> 00:23:28,574 Long Duk Dong is about your age, Sam. 341 00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:30,618 You two should have a lot to chat about. 342 00:23:31,327 --> 00:23:34,789 I love visiting with Grandma and Grandpa 343 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:37,250 and writing letters to parents 344 00:23:37,375 --> 00:23:39,752 and pushing lawn-mowing machine 345 00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:43,131 so Grandpa's hyena don't get disturbed. 346 00:23:44,215 --> 00:23:46,634 Hernia! 347 00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:49,095 Oh, yes, yes, yes, indeedy. 348 00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:53,224 He does the dishes and helps with the laundry, you betcha. 349 00:23:56,686 --> 00:23:59,438 - May I be excused? - Where are you going? 350 00:24:01,023 --> 00:24:03,484 I have a dance to go to at school. 351 00:24:04,986 --> 00:24:07,029 It's a very important dance. 352 00:24:07,155 --> 00:24:09,574 We're being graded on it for gym. 353 00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:12,702 Wait a minute. I have a wonderful idea. 354 00:24:14,370 --> 00:24:16,873 Would you like to go to the dance with Sam? 355 00:24:41,063 --> 00:24:43,441 - I wonder if Jake's here. - I don't think it's too healthy 356 00:24:43,566 --> 00:24:46,152 to get all jacked up about some guy that isn't even a thing yet. 357 00:24:46,277 --> 00:24:49,322 Yeah, when you don't have anything, you don't have anything to lose, right? 358 00:24:49,447 --> 00:24:51,324 That's a cheerful thought. 359 00:24:51,449 --> 00:24:53,409 Let's go make ourselves available. 360 00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:13,638 That's the one, dude. Scope it out. 361 00:25:13,763 --> 00:25:16,390 - She doesn't look like a freshman. - Sophomore, dude. Sophomore. 362 00:25:16,974 --> 00:25:19,185 Fully-aged sophomore meat. 363 00:25:22,396 --> 00:25:24,899 - We do the bus together. - You talk to her? 364 00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:27,526 - Talk? Dude, I have a relationship with her. - Get off. 365 00:25:27,652 --> 00:25:30,363 Figured to, like, 17 digits. 366 00:25:30,488 --> 00:25:31,864 You are such a liar. 367 00:25:32,865 --> 00:25:34,408 We'll see about that, my man. 368 00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:38,871 By night's end, I predict me and her will interface. 369 00:25:57,265 --> 00:26:03,145 ♪ I know this much is true 370 00:26:06,983 --> 00:26:08,234 ♪ I know... ♪ 371 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:10,111 Check it out, Wease. 372 00:26:12,697 --> 00:26:15,408 - Pretty intense, huh? Over. - Wacks to the max. Over. 373 00:26:29,797 --> 00:26:31,382 All right. 374 00:26:32,466 --> 00:26:33,843 I knew you'd come around. 375 00:26:35,636 --> 00:26:36,679 Christ! 376 00:26:36,804 --> 00:26:39,265 Crank that, sister. 377 00:26:49,817 --> 00:26:52,987 Very hot. Very hot. Tonight, tonight is happening. 378 00:26:58,993 --> 00:27:00,870 I'm blowing your mind, aren't I? 379 00:27:03,456 --> 00:27:05,458 I'm just getting warmed up. 380 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,309 Excuse me. 381 00:27:55,591 --> 00:27:58,719 Way to go, dick-face. She took off. 382 00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:01,972 Don't spaz out, OK, Wease? The situation will come online. 383 00:28:02,098 --> 00:28:05,976 Yeah? I'll bet you a dozen floppy disks you don't even get tit. 384 00:28:06,102 --> 00:28:08,729 You got a bet, scumbag. I'll get it all. 385 00:28:08,854 --> 00:28:12,274 Take off. You wouldn't even be able to prove it, anyway. 386 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:13,901 A, don't hit me. 387 00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:16,987 Secondly, what kind of proof do you want? 388 00:28:17,988 --> 00:28:19,448 - Video. - Video. 389 00:28:19,573 --> 00:28:22,213 No way, OK? I can just see the thing getting duped a thousand times 390 00:28:22,243 --> 00:28:24,870 and, like, winding up on cable somewhere. 391 00:28:24,995 --> 00:28:26,622 Try again. 392 00:28:26,747 --> 00:28:28,749 - Underpants. - Underpants. 393 00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:33,254 No prob, butt-lick. 394 00:28:42,012 --> 00:28:43,514 Girls' underpants. 395 00:28:43,639 --> 00:28:47,017 - ♪ One, two - ♪ And your girlfriend sweet little 17 396 00:28:47,143 --> 00:28:50,396 ♪ She's got her layered hair and her flared jeans 397 00:28:50,521 --> 00:28:53,232 ♪ You know what that means, she's just a little queen 398 00:28:53,357 --> 00:28:55,609 ♪ She shares your London flat 399 00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:58,571 ♪ She thinks that London's where it's at 400 00:28:58,696 --> 00:29:01,407 ♪ Although it stinks and when it rains you wear your hat 401 00:29:01,532 --> 00:29:05,286 ♪ And your plum-coloured PVC wet-look maxi mac 402 00:29:05,411 --> 00:29:08,038 ♪ You tie your ginger hair back in a bun 403 00:29:08,164 --> 00:29:12,001 ♪ You're the ugliest creature under the sun... ♪ 404 00:29:14,712 --> 00:29:16,589 So, what's your name? 405 00:29:16,714 --> 00:29:18,340 Dong. 406 00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:20,718 What's your first name? 407 00:29:20,843 --> 00:29:22,470 Long. 408 00:29:23,762 --> 00:29:25,931 What's your middle name? 409 00:29:26,056 --> 00:29:27,600 Duk. 410 00:29:29,727 --> 00:29:33,731 I bet all the boys chase you plenty in the school, huh? 411 00:29:33,856 --> 00:29:35,983 Nobody's caught me yet. 412 00:29:36,108 --> 00:29:39,195 - I betcha you big teaser, huh? - Huh! No. 413 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,447 I run the 40 in five flat. 414 00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:44,158 Flat? 415 00:29:47,745 --> 00:29:49,038 Hey. 416 00:29:49,663 --> 00:29:51,790 I'm really sorry, man. Whatever I did was an accident. 417 00:29:51,916 --> 00:29:53,709 I mean, I didn't mean to... 418 00:29:53,834 --> 00:29:55,377 Relax. 419 00:30:00,633 --> 00:30:03,552 You... You were dancing with a girl? 420 00:30:04,428 --> 00:30:07,097 Oh, man, I'm really... I'm really sorry, man. 421 00:30:07,223 --> 00:30:10,809 - I must've been on drugs five minutes ago. - Do you know her? 422 00:30:10,935 --> 00:30:14,271 She grabbed me, guy. I'm totally innocent. Is she yours? 423 00:30:14,396 --> 00:30:16,398 What do you know about her? 424 00:30:17,191 --> 00:30:20,236 She has smallish tits, decent voice. 425 00:30:20,361 --> 00:30:22,238 Smells pretty good. 426 00:30:22,363 --> 00:30:25,241 - She drives me crazy. - Did she come here with you? 427 00:30:25,366 --> 00:30:29,161 No, no. But if it's OK with my dad, she's going home with me. 428 00:30:30,663 --> 00:30:32,122 Excuse me. 429 00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:44,510 - Do you guys want to blow off this dance? - Yes. 430 00:30:44,635 --> 00:30:47,471 I am bored to the brink of insanity. 431 00:30:47,596 --> 00:30:48,889 And go where? 432 00:30:49,014 --> 00:30:51,100 Jake's parents aren't home, we could do his house. 433 00:30:51,225 --> 00:30:52,851 How's it going? 434 00:30:52,977 --> 00:30:55,020 - Fine. - We'd have to party light, though, 435 00:30:55,145 --> 00:30:57,457 Jake's too paranoid about his parents' house getting trashed. 436 00:30:57,481 --> 00:30:58,566 Again? 437 00:31:01,610 --> 00:31:05,030 ♪ The hours I spend investigating 438 00:31:05,155 --> 00:31:07,449 ♪ A way of living 439 00:31:07,575 --> 00:31:12,913 ♪ With no misgiving, yeah... 440 00:31:13,038 --> 00:31:14,039 ♪ Growing pains... ♪ 441 00:31:29,179 --> 00:31:30,931 OK. 442 00:31:32,308 --> 00:31:33,767 All right. 443 00:31:37,813 --> 00:31:40,399 Just trying to get a little bit of water. 444 00:31:41,525 --> 00:31:42,776 Yeah. 445 00:31:47,781 --> 00:31:49,825 Yes, I'm back. 446 00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:51,744 So I smell. 447 00:31:51,869 --> 00:31:54,079 It's my shaving cream. 448 00:31:54,204 --> 00:31:56,081 You wanna feel a real clean, close shave? 449 00:31:56,206 --> 00:31:57,708 I'll pass. 450 00:31:57,833 --> 00:32:00,002 Couldn't find anyone else to bug, huh? 451 00:32:00,127 --> 00:32:02,963 Come on. You know you're the one I want to bug, huh? 452 00:32:03,088 --> 00:32:06,675 This is my friend, Randy. And that's Jimmy Montrose. 453 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,844 - Howdy, dude. - This is Farmer Fred. 454 00:32:08,969 --> 00:32:11,639 - Ted. - Oh, I'm sorry. This is Farmer Ted. 455 00:32:11,764 --> 00:32:13,807 I'm not really a farmer. I'm a freshman. 456 00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:16,101 Geek, can I be honest with you? 457 00:32:16,685 --> 00:32:18,812 Not if you're gonna insult me. 458 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:20,272 OK. 459 00:32:23,108 --> 00:32:25,152 - Shoot. - Get the hell out of here. 460 00:32:25,819 --> 00:32:27,946 Nice... nice manners, babe. 461 00:32:28,572 --> 00:32:30,199 She's totally serious, ass-wipe. 462 00:32:31,492 --> 00:32:33,369 Chill. 463 00:32:38,832 --> 00:32:41,126 You wanna split with me? I... 464 00:32:42,795 --> 00:32:44,380 - I don't know... - I can't handle this. 465 00:32:44,505 --> 00:32:47,383 My mom tells me, "If you want something, you gotta ask for it." 466 00:32:47,508 --> 00:32:49,009 I'm not the kind of guy... 467 00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:52,179 It's embarrassing for me. I... I don't know. I just... 468 00:32:53,430 --> 00:32:55,391 It's just... 469 00:33:41,228 --> 00:33:44,106 I'm really sorry about what happened in the gym. 470 00:33:44,231 --> 00:33:46,734 I had no idea you couldn't dance. 471 00:34:13,635 --> 00:34:16,680 - What a decent night, huh? - It's my birthday. 472 00:34:21,101 --> 00:34:23,353 ♪ You say it's your birthday 473 00:34:23,479 --> 00:34:25,272 ♪ It's my birthday, too... ♪ 474 00:34:25,397 --> 00:34:26,732 Don't do that, OK? 475 00:34:29,359 --> 00:34:30,986 ♪ Hey, Jude... ♪ 476 00:34:31,111 --> 00:34:32,571 Just stop it, OK? 477 00:34:32,696 --> 00:34:34,948 I mean, it's really been a shitty birthday for me. 478 00:34:35,073 --> 00:34:38,243 No offence, but I don't need a serenade right now. 479 00:34:39,328 --> 00:34:41,248 What's wrong? You didn't get anything good, or... 480 00:34:41,371 --> 00:34:44,166 I didn't get shit. Not even "happy birthday". 481 00:34:44,291 --> 00:34:47,169 My whole family just sort of blew it off. 482 00:34:49,755 --> 00:34:51,882 I'd freak if my family forgot my birthday. 483 00:34:52,007 --> 00:34:53,926 It's a brand-new year. I'm 16. 484 00:34:54,051 --> 00:34:56,678 Everything should be platinum. I should be happy, right? 485 00:34:56,804 --> 00:34:58,222 - Right? - Yeah. 486 00:34:58,347 --> 00:35:00,140 Well, I can't get happy. 487 00:35:00,265 --> 00:35:03,268 It is physically impossible for me to get happy. 488 00:35:07,356 --> 00:35:10,192 Would you feel better if you knew one of my secrets, or... 489 00:35:10,317 --> 00:35:11,443 Don't gross me out. 490 00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:14,446 No, we're not talking gross here. No, it's just... 491 00:35:15,364 --> 00:35:17,157 It's just embarrassing. 492 00:35:23,622 --> 00:35:25,624 This information cannot leave this room, OK? 493 00:35:25,749 --> 00:35:28,585 It would devastate my reputation as a dude. 494 00:35:30,003 --> 00:35:31,630 No problem. 495 00:35:36,677 --> 00:35:39,096 I've never bagged a babe. 496 00:35:42,224 --> 00:35:44,893 I'm not a stud. 497 00:35:47,437 --> 00:35:49,106 I got the rep in sixth grade. 498 00:35:49,231 --> 00:35:51,692 And it, like, I don't know, it stuck with me. 499 00:35:51,817 --> 00:35:53,694 I'm still on hold. 500 00:35:55,612 --> 00:35:58,991 Look, I'd appreciate you not laughing, OK? 501 00:35:59,116 --> 00:36:00,534 I'm sorry. 502 00:36:01,660 --> 00:36:03,954 That's not what I meant. 503 00:36:06,915 --> 00:36:08,250 I meant... 504 00:36:10,168 --> 00:36:12,588 Hey, time out, junior. 505 00:36:15,716 --> 00:36:17,301 Pardon me. 506 00:36:22,264 --> 00:36:23,849 It's OK. 507 00:36:28,604 --> 00:36:33,191 I meant that it's OK that you did it once, but I didn't mean for you to do it again. 508 00:36:34,484 --> 00:36:36,111 I'm sorry. 509 00:36:37,321 --> 00:36:38,906 I'm sorry. 510 00:36:41,283 --> 00:36:44,536 You know, just now, I really felt how much you like me. 511 00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:48,665 You're probably zoning in on my brain waves or something. 512 00:36:49,875 --> 00:36:52,586 Well, not really, I felt it on my leg. 513 00:36:54,463 --> 00:36:56,882 Come on! I don't want to see it! 514 00:36:59,927 --> 00:37:00,928 Oh. 515 00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:03,680 Sorry if I embarrassed you. 516 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:06,683 I'm not embarrassed. 517 00:37:06,808 --> 00:37:08,685 Fresh breath's a priority in my life. 518 00:37:12,648 --> 00:37:14,584 You know, I really don't want to hurt your feelings, 519 00:37:14,608 --> 00:37:16,889 cos it's really human of you to listen to all my bullshit. 520 00:37:17,361 --> 00:37:19,613 I care about it, really. I mean... 521 00:37:20,489 --> 00:37:24,409 I know I came on kind of like a poozer on the bus tonight and everything, but... 522 00:37:24,534 --> 00:37:26,995 that's just so my friends won't think, you know, I'm a jerk. 523 00:37:28,455 --> 00:37:30,615 But they're all pretty much jerks, though, aren't they? 524 00:37:31,291 --> 00:37:34,670 Yeah, but the thing is, I'm kind of like the leader, you know. 525 00:37:35,545 --> 00:37:37,089 Kind of like the king of the dipshits. 526 00:37:38,215 --> 00:37:40,175 Well, that's pretty cool. 527 00:37:40,300 --> 00:37:42,219 Hey, but a lot can happen over a year. 528 00:37:42,344 --> 00:37:45,347 I mean, you could come back next fall as a completely normal person. 529 00:37:46,473 --> 00:37:48,642 - Yeah? - Sure. 530 00:37:53,230 --> 00:37:55,899 Would it be totally off the wall if... 531 00:37:57,150 --> 00:37:59,236 if I asked if I could have sex with you? 532 00:38:02,614 --> 00:38:05,534 Yeah, well, you asking me is not as off the wall as why I won't. 533 00:38:06,660 --> 00:38:09,121 - VD? - No. 534 00:38:10,122 --> 00:38:12,207 I'm sort of saving myself. 535 00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:16,670 It's really stupid. He doesn't even know I exist. 536 00:38:17,129 --> 00:38:18,338 Who? 537 00:38:19,256 --> 00:38:20,716 Who? 538 00:38:21,883 --> 00:38:23,468 Jake Ryan. 539 00:38:24,428 --> 00:38:25,804 You like Jake? 540 00:38:26,513 --> 00:38:28,390 J... Jake's my boy. 541 00:38:28,849 --> 00:38:30,600 I just talked to Jake in the gym. 542 00:38:30,726 --> 00:38:32,686 - He asked me about you. - Did not. 543 00:38:32,811 --> 00:38:36,106 He did, too. He did. He asked me what you were like. 544 00:38:36,231 --> 00:38:37,816 Oh, my... Oh. 545 00:38:37,941 --> 00:38:40,569 - If you're lying, I'll beat the crap out of you. - I'm not lying. 546 00:38:41,028 --> 00:38:42,904 Oh, my God, what should I do? 547 00:38:43,739 --> 00:38:45,967 Should I go up to him? Should I say, "Hi, Jake, I'm Samantha"? 548 00:38:45,991 --> 00:38:49,202 - Or, no, maybe I should let him come to me. - This is not my department. 549 00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:51,806 But what if I decide to let him come to me, and then he forgets? 550 00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:55,459 Or then what if he changes his mind? And then I'm totally screwed, right? 551 00:38:55,584 --> 00:38:57,169 Apparently so. 552 00:38:58,045 --> 00:39:00,380 What would you do if you were me? 553 00:39:01,673 --> 00:39:03,925 I'm a gambling man by nature, and, um... 554 00:39:05,385 --> 00:39:06,803 I'd go for it. 555 00:39:07,554 --> 00:39:10,515 This is so strange, but I think I will. Oh, you're the best. 556 00:39:14,686 --> 00:39:16,605 - Wait... - What? 557 00:39:17,647 --> 00:39:21,151 - Do you know anything about floppy disks? - We'll talk about this on the bus, OK? 558 00:39:21,276 --> 00:39:23,653 Well, no. See, the thing is, I got kind of a problem. 559 00:39:23,779 --> 00:39:25,822 Well, floppy disks are pretty expensive 560 00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:29,493 and, see, the thing is, I made a bet with my friends, the dipshits. 561 00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:33,520 I bet them that I'd do it with you. 562 00:39:35,123 --> 00:39:36,726 But this was before I knew you as a person. 563 00:39:36,750 --> 00:39:39,086 I can get proof without actually getting physical. 564 00:39:39,211 --> 00:39:40,670 How? 565 00:39:42,881 --> 00:39:44,758 Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes? 566 00:39:56,019 --> 00:39:58,459 I think it's time to blow this thing off and go to your house. 567 00:39:58,563 --> 00:39:59,564 Yeah? 568 00:39:59,689 --> 00:40:02,569 I told Tracy and Robin and those guys to come to your parents' house, OK? 569 00:40:02,651 --> 00:40:04,694 I told them not to tell anybody. 570 00:40:04,820 --> 00:40:07,280 God, I love it when your parents are out of town, 571 00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:08,990 I fantasise that I'm your wife, 572 00:40:09,116 --> 00:40:12,369 and we're, like, the richest, most popular adults in town. 573 00:40:13,078 --> 00:40:15,288 I owe all my great weekends to you. 574 00:40:17,499 --> 00:40:18,750 What's your problem? 575 00:40:18,875 --> 00:40:21,753 - What? - You've been acting weird all night. 576 00:40:22,629 --> 00:40:26,508 - Are you screwing around? - Me? Are you crazy? 577 00:40:26,633 --> 00:40:28,510 I don't know, Jake. 578 00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,011 I'm getting strange signals. 579 00:40:30,137 --> 00:40:33,137 Well, they're not coming from me. Look, everything's fine. Don't have a cow. 580 00:40:34,266 --> 00:40:35,433 OK. 581 00:40:36,309 --> 00:40:38,562 But just remember one thing. 582 00:40:38,687 --> 00:40:41,982 I can name twenty guys who'd kill to love me. 583 00:40:42,107 --> 00:40:43,441 Is that a threat? 584 00:40:43,567 --> 00:40:45,068 It's a fact, Jake. 585 00:40:46,153 --> 00:40:49,239 Come on. Before we get in a big, wicked fight, let's get out of here, huh? 586 00:40:54,035 --> 00:40:56,705 Hi, Jake. I'm Samantha. How's it going? 587 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,960 Do you got a cigarette? 588 00:41:05,964 --> 00:41:07,632 Jake, this may sound incredibly dumb, 589 00:41:07,757 --> 00:41:10,844 but I love you, and I'll do anything to make you love me. 590 00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,222 I love your shirt. 591 00:41:18,768 --> 00:41:20,395 Jake, you're not gonna believe this, 592 00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:23,815 but I had this very bizarre dream, and you were in it. 593 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,322 For heaven's sake. Get in there and dance. 594 00:41:30,447 --> 00:41:33,450 - I can't. They won't like me. - I'm not gonna tell you again. 595 00:41:33,575 --> 00:41:34,743 Just act like a man. 596 00:41:34,868 --> 00:41:36,870 I wanna go home. I wanna be with you guys. 597 00:41:50,425 --> 00:41:54,638 ♪ You are my desire 598 00:41:56,097 --> 00:41:59,726 ♪ You, you make me cry 599 00:42:01,978 --> 00:42:06,858 ♪ You are my desire 600 00:42:06,983 --> 00:42:08,693 ♪ Oh, baby, you, you, you 601 00:42:08,818 --> 00:42:12,113 ♪ You make me cry 602 00:42:13,657 --> 00:42:16,368 ♪ Got to find you, know you're out there 603 00:42:16,493 --> 00:42:20,830 - ♪ I got to get you back into my hair... ♪ - I can't believe I'm such a jerk. 604 00:42:21,831 --> 00:42:24,668 He smiles at me and I don't say anything. 605 00:42:25,877 --> 00:42:29,339 And I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek. 606 00:42:33,510 --> 00:42:34,970 What year are you? 607 00:42:35,095 --> 00:42:37,472 - Freshman. - Give me a buck. 608 00:42:37,597 --> 00:42:39,140 OK, get in. 609 00:42:52,195 --> 00:42:53,780 Shut up. 610 00:42:55,073 --> 00:42:56,700 Bryce? 611 00:42:56,825 --> 00:42:58,243 Ted? 612 00:42:59,119 --> 00:43:00,161 Go for it. 613 00:43:19,139 --> 00:43:21,308 Hey, listen. 614 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:25,729 I wanna thank you for loaning me the Donger. 615 00:43:29,149 --> 00:43:30,859 He's really bitching. 616 00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:34,279 That's OK. You guys make a great couple. 617 00:43:36,698 --> 00:43:39,826 I've never been so happy in my whole life. 618 00:43:39,951 --> 00:43:40,994 You maniac. 619 00:43:43,621 --> 00:43:46,624 Now I have a place to put my hand. 620 00:43:47,250 --> 00:43:51,129 So basically, Jimmy, my business is video game arcades, 621 00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:56,509 laundry, cigarette machines and trucking. 622 00:43:57,427 --> 00:44:01,222 I dabble a little bit in personal loans and politics. 623 00:44:06,186 --> 00:44:07,771 Very nice. 624 00:44:09,147 --> 00:44:13,026 I think that all that really matters is that the kids are happy together. 625 00:44:14,152 --> 00:44:16,571 Just as long as my beautiful boy remembers 626 00:44:16,696 --> 00:44:19,741 that marrying this one means he's out of the Girl-of-the-Month club. 627 00:44:19,866 --> 00:44:21,284 Hey, wait a minute. 628 00:44:21,409 --> 00:44:23,078 I can still look. 629 00:44:23,203 --> 00:44:25,663 I just can't touch. Right? 630 00:44:26,790 --> 00:44:28,458 - Oh, sensitive, huh? - Rudy. 631 00:44:32,379 --> 00:44:34,339 - Cheers. - Right on. 632 00:44:38,134 --> 00:44:40,345 You do shots? Come on, wolf it. 633 00:44:56,778 --> 00:44:59,572 Uh, good night, Marlene. See you later, Dong. 634 00:44:59,697 --> 00:45:02,575 Sammy, tell Grandpa not to wait up. 635 00:45:02,700 --> 00:45:04,994 - Let's go boogie. - Sure. 636 00:45:07,789 --> 00:45:10,291 Donger's here for five hours and he's got somebody. 637 00:45:10,417 --> 00:45:13,545 I live here my whole life, and I'm like a disease. 638 00:45:22,846 --> 00:45:25,515 - ♪ So Fifi got a rocket shop - ♪ Rev up 639 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,393 - ♪ She got a lotta what she got - ♪ Rev up 640 00:45:28,518 --> 00:45:31,229 - ♪ Don't ever stop by lotsa work - ♪ Rev up 641 00:45:31,354 --> 00:45:34,023 - ♪ She gotta get you to the top - ♪ Rev up 642 00:45:34,149 --> 00:45:36,818 - ♪ We're hangin' out in Vinnie's car - ♪ Rev up 643 00:45:36,943 --> 00:45:39,696 - ♪ We both go rippin' up the tar - ♪ Rev up 644 00:45:39,821 --> 00:45:42,449 - ♪ Don't ever seem to get too far - ♪ Rev up 645 00:45:42,574 --> 00:45:44,951 - ♪ Spend all our money in a bar - ♪ Rev up 646 00:45:47,078 --> 00:45:50,081 ♪ We wanna go out for a shot 647 00:45:52,792 --> 00:45:55,628 ♪ Cos Trixie's ready to rev up 648 00:45:57,630 --> 00:45:58,756 ♪ Rev up... ♪ 649 00:45:58,882 --> 00:46:02,594 Everybody, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Jake. 650 00:46:03,553 --> 00:46:06,681 Jake, this is everybody. 651 00:46:06,806 --> 00:46:08,600 Take it off. 652 00:46:09,476 --> 00:46:12,353 All right, whose is this? 653 00:46:13,146 --> 00:46:14,731 You're such a poop. 654 00:46:48,681 --> 00:46:50,225 Woof! 655 00:46:57,565 --> 00:46:59,317 Oh, Tony! 656 00:47:13,498 --> 00:47:16,084 Shit, Ted, that's my mom. I gotta get home. 657 00:47:16,209 --> 00:47:18,461 Change your frequency, OK? Don't be such a wimp. 658 00:47:25,009 --> 00:47:27,804 Take those ridiculous things off, OK? 659 00:47:29,264 --> 00:47:31,015 Will you guys grow up? 660 00:47:31,140 --> 00:47:34,310 Ted, won't we get pounded if we go to a senior party? 661 00:47:35,436 --> 00:47:38,940 Wease, we got $70, and we got a pair of girls' underpants. 662 00:47:39,065 --> 00:47:41,359 We're safe as kittens. OK? 663 00:47:41,484 --> 00:47:44,445 This is a great social opportunity for us. 664 00:47:44,571 --> 00:47:46,072 Come on. 665 00:47:57,166 --> 00:47:58,710 Do not embarrass me, OK? 666 00:47:58,835 --> 00:48:00,670 For sure, we won't. 667 00:48:00,795 --> 00:48:03,298 - Will you fix your hair, Bryce? - I already did. 668 00:48:04,299 --> 00:48:06,968 Wease, close your barn, all right? 669 00:48:10,597 --> 00:48:13,141 - And be polite to his parents, all right? - OK, OK. 670 00:48:18,313 --> 00:48:22,900 Hey, come on in and party hearty, dude persons. 671 00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:30,199 He's from out of town, OK? He speaks English, right? 672 00:48:30,325 --> 00:48:32,368 - Don't be such faggots. - Man, shut up. 673 00:48:33,161 --> 00:48:34,829 Kidding. Sorry. 674 00:48:37,415 --> 00:48:39,584 - Think we're gonna die? - Definitely. 675 00:48:44,672 --> 00:48:47,133 ♪ Hang up the phone 676 00:48:47,216 --> 00:48:49,135 ♪ Get off the line... ♪ 677 00:48:58,519 --> 00:49:00,229 We put the cat out? 678 00:49:00,355 --> 00:49:01,773 We don't have a cat. 679 00:49:02,690 --> 00:49:03,983 Come on, dammit. Answer. 680 00:49:14,035 --> 00:49:15,662 Oh, eat me. 681 00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:20,333 Who is it? 682 00:49:22,168 --> 00:49:24,128 Well, what did they want? 683 00:49:26,297 --> 00:49:27,632 Sex. 684 00:49:35,515 --> 00:49:36,933 Geek! 685 00:49:48,778 --> 00:49:51,698 Very nice. We're here five minutes and then... 686 00:49:52,824 --> 00:49:54,325 I'm at a loss. 687 00:49:57,245 --> 00:49:59,038 Real smooth, Cliff. 688 00:50:10,216 --> 00:50:12,385 I've never been out with a boy before. 689 00:50:12,510 --> 00:50:14,053 Oh, me, neither. 690 00:50:22,854 --> 00:50:23,938 Jake? 691 00:50:25,940 --> 00:50:27,775 Where are you, Jake? 692 00:50:28,818 --> 00:50:31,738 Jakey, have you stopped loving me? 693 00:50:34,949 --> 00:50:36,492 Leave me alone. 694 00:50:47,795 --> 00:50:49,172 What? 695 00:50:50,590 --> 00:50:52,759 I'm sorry, I don't do that. 696 00:50:52,884 --> 00:50:54,927 - Yes, you do. - I know. 697 00:50:55,052 --> 00:50:57,805 - Come on. - Trace. You guys. 698 00:50:58,973 --> 00:51:01,142 Would you please help me, please? 699 00:51:01,267 --> 00:51:04,061 - Oh, shit. - Come on, you guys. I'm your prom queen. 700 00:51:06,355 --> 00:51:09,275 Trace, you guys, I'm serious. Come on. I need help. 701 00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:12,528 - OK. - Oh, I broke those pearls! 702 00:51:12,653 --> 00:51:14,447 What's the problem? 703 00:51:14,572 --> 00:51:16,032 Several things. 704 00:51:20,661 --> 00:51:22,663 OK. We'll help you. 705 00:51:24,624 --> 00:51:27,585 Don't go away, Caroline, baby. 706 00:51:32,757 --> 00:51:35,092 Hello? Hello? 707 00:51:36,135 --> 00:51:39,138 Listen, I know you're there. I can hear you breathing. 708 00:51:44,143 --> 00:51:45,353 Yes, hello, sir, um... 709 00:51:45,478 --> 00:51:48,564 Are you the little bugger that's been calling up here all night 710 00:51:48,689 --> 00:51:49,982 and then hanging up? 711 00:51:50,775 --> 00:51:53,945 Would it be possible for you to tell me if there is a Samantha Baker there? 712 00:51:54,070 --> 00:51:56,197 And if so, sir, may I converse with her briefly? 713 00:51:56,781 --> 00:52:00,076 Yes, it is. And no, you may not. 714 00:52:01,410 --> 00:52:02,703 Might I leave a message, sir? 715 00:52:04,872 --> 00:52:07,834 He wants to leave a message for Sam. 716 00:52:07,959 --> 00:52:10,211 Here, give me that phone. 717 00:52:11,671 --> 00:52:13,673 Now, you listen to me, mister. 718 00:52:13,798 --> 00:52:17,426 God did not put me on this earth to be awakened by filthy suggestions 719 00:52:17,552 --> 00:52:20,555 from a foul-mouthed hooligan like you. 720 00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:23,766 And as for our granddaughter, I'm sure she has more than enough sense 721 00:52:23,891 --> 00:52:25,935 to stay clear of the likes of you. 722 00:52:26,060 --> 00:52:27,854 Now, good night and goodbye! 723 00:52:33,484 --> 00:52:34,944 That was great. 724 00:52:35,695 --> 00:52:38,531 - Sam's lucky she has us, Howard. - Yeah. 725 00:52:39,657 --> 00:52:42,785 Even if she doesn't appreciate us. 726 00:52:44,287 --> 00:52:45,872 Do you promise you won't get mad? 727 00:52:45,997 --> 00:52:47,999 No, I love you. 728 00:52:48,124 --> 00:52:50,501 OK, close your eyes. 729 00:52:51,627 --> 00:52:54,422 - Scalpel. - Scalpel. 730 00:53:04,473 --> 00:53:05,892 My God. 731 00:53:09,478 --> 00:53:12,899 That was wonderful, Trace! I'm so proud of you. 732 00:53:13,024 --> 00:53:15,401 I don't know how to thank you enough. 733 00:53:15,526 --> 00:53:17,653 - My pleasure. - Oh. 734 00:53:31,125 --> 00:53:34,295 My God! Wow! 735 00:53:34,754 --> 00:53:37,298 - I hope they have insurance. - The party's over. 736 00:54:28,224 --> 00:54:29,934 Son of a bitch. 737 00:54:40,611 --> 00:54:42,613 What a disaster. 738 00:55:09,390 --> 00:55:10,558 Jake! 739 00:55:12,518 --> 00:55:13,978 Sam. 740 00:55:15,146 --> 00:55:16,647 Sweetheart? 741 00:55:18,816 --> 00:55:21,193 - Daddy? - Hi, kiddo. 742 00:55:22,486 --> 00:55:24,488 - What's wrong? - Nothing. 743 00:55:24,613 --> 00:55:26,073 Everything's fine. 744 00:55:27,074 --> 00:55:29,702 I was just upstairs and I couldn't sleep. 745 00:55:32,079 --> 00:55:34,540 I feel like a real jerk, honey. 746 00:55:36,250 --> 00:55:37,543 We forgot your birthday. 747 00:55:41,380 --> 00:55:43,549 I bet you're really POed, huh? 748 00:55:44,550 --> 00:55:46,761 No, it's OK. 749 00:55:46,886 --> 00:55:48,679 I'm not really all that upset anymore. 750 00:55:50,806 --> 00:55:54,351 This wedding is really turning this entire house inside out. 751 00:55:55,478 --> 00:55:58,022 And I just came down to tell you that we did remember. 752 00:55:59,940 --> 00:56:00,983 Thanks, Dad. 753 00:56:03,152 --> 00:56:04,904 Happy birthday. 754 00:56:15,581 --> 00:56:17,625 Is something else wrong? 755 00:56:19,126 --> 00:56:20,419 No, why? 756 00:56:20,544 --> 00:56:23,106 I don't know, I just get the feeling that something's bothering you. 757 00:56:23,130 --> 00:56:25,841 Something other than your birthday. 758 00:56:25,966 --> 00:56:28,803 No, I'm fine. Really. 759 00:56:34,058 --> 00:56:36,143 I think I know what it is. 760 00:56:38,938 --> 00:56:41,315 It has to do with a certain guy? 761 00:56:48,405 --> 00:56:49,907 I know, honey, I know. 762 00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:57,289 We're all upset that Ginny's marrying a bohunk. 763 00:57:02,962 --> 00:57:04,672 What's the matter? 764 00:57:06,423 --> 00:57:08,134 I meant Jake. 765 00:57:08,259 --> 00:57:10,261 Jake? 766 00:57:10,386 --> 00:57:12,426 Wait a minute. I thought she said his name was Rudy. 767 00:57:12,471 --> 00:57:15,432 - Forget it. - Forget what? Who's Jake? 768 00:57:19,145 --> 00:57:23,065 He's a boy, Daddy. It's nothing. OK? Just forget it, please? 769 00:57:23,649 --> 00:57:25,192 Come on, Sam, we're not communicating. 770 00:57:27,111 --> 00:57:29,613 It's extremely embarrassing, OK? 771 00:57:30,489 --> 00:57:32,241 What's embarrassing? 772 00:57:32,366 --> 00:57:35,661 Sitting in the dark with your dad, telling him about your love life. 773 00:57:37,496 --> 00:57:39,623 I'm afraid you lost me again, Sam. 774 00:57:42,585 --> 00:57:46,338 Jake is a senior, and he's beautiful and perfect. 775 00:57:46,463 --> 00:57:49,008 I like him a real lot, and he doesn't like me. OK? 776 00:57:49,675 --> 00:57:51,010 Oh. 777 00:57:52,386 --> 00:57:54,263 And he's got this incredible girlfriend. 778 00:57:54,388 --> 00:57:57,391 I'm just this ridiculous dork that's following him around like a puppy. 779 00:57:58,475 --> 00:58:00,186 Why do you think you're a dork? 780 00:58:00,311 --> 00:58:03,480 I don't think you're a dork. I don't think Mom thinks you're a dork. 781 00:58:03,606 --> 00:58:06,066 - Mike thinks I'm a dork. - Mike is a dork. 782 00:58:08,110 --> 00:58:09,737 Well, so am I. 783 00:58:09,862 --> 00:58:12,740 Well, if it's any consolation, I love you. 784 00:58:13,532 --> 00:58:17,036 And if this guy can't see in you all the beautiful and wonderful things that I see, 785 00:58:18,329 --> 00:58:20,539 then he's got the problem. 786 00:58:20,664 --> 00:58:22,583 I know. It just hurts. 787 00:58:24,251 --> 00:58:26,879 That's why they call them crushes. 788 00:58:27,004 --> 00:58:30,007 If they were easy, they'd call them something else. 789 00:58:31,926 --> 00:58:35,346 Yeah, but if I were Ginny, I'd have this guy crawling on his knees. 790 00:58:35,471 --> 00:58:38,182 Well, let me tell you something about Ginny. 791 00:58:38,307 --> 00:58:42,144 Now, I love her as much as I love you. But she's a different person. 792 00:58:43,062 --> 00:58:45,522 Sometimes I worry about her. 793 00:58:45,648 --> 00:58:48,442 You know, when you're given things kind of easily, 794 00:58:48,567 --> 00:58:50,903 you don't always appreciate them. 795 00:58:51,028 --> 00:58:53,405 With you, I'm not worried. 796 00:58:53,530 --> 00:58:57,409 When it happens to you, Samantha, it'll be forever. 797 00:59:02,248 --> 00:59:07,419 Well, I don't think I'll be able to sleep if I don't feel this little talk has helped you. 798 00:59:07,544 --> 00:59:09,880 So would you be a sport and lie to me? 799 00:59:10,673 --> 00:59:12,341 Yeah, sure, Daddy. 800 00:59:13,467 --> 00:59:15,886 - Good night, sweetheart. - Good night. 801 00:59:22,643 --> 00:59:23,894 Oh, one more thing, sweetheart. 802 00:59:25,729 --> 00:59:28,357 - What? - When you do find the right guy, 803 00:59:28,482 --> 00:59:29,775 don't let him boss you around. 804 00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:34,571 Make sure he knows you wear the pants in the family. 805 00:59:39,535 --> 00:59:42,037 - These are really hers? - Yeah. 806 00:59:42,162 --> 00:59:43,956 How did you get them? 807 00:59:44,081 --> 00:59:46,125 She gave them to me. 808 00:59:46,250 --> 00:59:47,710 Did you... 809 00:59:47,835 --> 00:59:51,380 No. No, Jake, she's crying for you. 810 00:59:51,505 --> 00:59:54,049 I told her you asked about her, right? The girl freaked. 811 00:59:54,174 --> 00:59:57,386 She had a hissy. She thinks you're the cat's meow. 812 00:59:57,511 --> 00:59:58,762 - Really? - Yeah. 813 00:59:58,887 --> 01:00:00,889 She came up to me in the gym tonight. 814 01:00:01,015 --> 01:00:03,642 She looked at me like I was a leper. 815 01:00:03,767 --> 01:00:05,769 Girls will do that, Jake, you know? 816 01:00:05,894 --> 01:00:08,564 You see, they know guys are, like, in perpetual heat, right? 817 01:00:08,689 --> 01:00:11,817 They know this shit. And they enjoy pumping us up. 818 01:00:11,942 --> 01:00:14,361 It's pure power politics, I'm telling you. 819 01:00:14,486 --> 01:00:16,655 I thought she hated my guts. 820 01:00:16,780 --> 01:00:19,783 Games, Jake. Silly, torturous games. 821 01:00:19,908 --> 01:00:21,803 You know how many times a week I go without lunch 822 01:00:21,827 --> 01:00:23,662 because some bitch borrows my lunch money? 823 01:00:23,787 --> 01:00:26,999 You know, any halfway decent girl can rob me blind. 824 01:00:27,124 --> 01:00:29,418 Because I'm too torqued up to say no. 825 01:00:29,543 --> 01:00:31,128 It's heinous, I'm telling you. 826 01:00:31,962 --> 01:00:33,756 You better not be dicking me around. 827 01:00:33,881 --> 01:00:36,342 It'd be a major downer to try and get together with this girl 828 01:00:36,467 --> 01:00:38,802 and find out she really does think I'm a slime. 829 01:00:38,927 --> 01:00:41,347 Jake, would I dick you? 830 01:00:41,472 --> 01:00:43,891 Let me put it to you this way. 831 01:00:44,016 --> 01:00:45,336 What happens to me if I dick you? 832 01:00:45,392 --> 01:00:47,728 I'd kick your ass. 833 01:00:48,520 --> 01:00:50,105 Right. So why would I lie? 834 01:00:51,899 --> 01:00:53,692 But I feel compelled to mention to you, Jake, 835 01:00:53,817 --> 01:00:56,320 I mean, if all you want off the girl is a piece of ass, I mean, 836 01:00:56,445 --> 01:00:59,990 I'll either do it myself, or get someone bigger than me 837 01:01:00,115 --> 01:01:01,116 to kick your ass. 838 01:01:03,118 --> 01:01:06,955 I mean, not many girls in contemporary American society today 839 01:01:07,081 --> 01:01:10,000 would give their underwear to help a geek like me. 840 01:01:11,210 --> 01:01:13,003 I can get a piece of ass any time I want. 841 01:01:13,712 --> 01:01:16,965 Shit, I got Caroline in the bedroom right now, passed out cold. 842 01:01:17,091 --> 01:01:20,761 I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted to. 843 01:01:20,886 --> 01:01:22,513 What are you waiting for? 844 01:01:22,638 --> 01:01:25,891 I don't know. She's beautiful and she's built and all that. 845 01:01:26,975 --> 01:01:29,770 I'm just not interested anymore. 846 01:01:29,895 --> 01:01:31,605 Does that really matter, guy? 847 01:01:31,730 --> 01:01:34,566 Yeah, it matters. She's totally insensitive. 848 01:01:34,691 --> 01:01:36,193 Look what she did to my house. 849 01:01:37,653 --> 01:01:39,613 She doesn't know shit about love. 850 01:01:39,738 --> 01:01:41,949 Only thing she cares about is partying. 851 01:01:42,074 --> 01:01:43,909 I want a serious girlfriend. 852 01:01:44,576 --> 01:01:47,079 Somebody I can love, that's gonna love me back. 853 01:01:49,373 --> 01:01:50,833 Is that psycho? 854 01:01:53,669 --> 01:01:55,462 That's beautiful, Jake. 855 01:01:55,587 --> 01:01:57,947 You know, I think a ton of guys feel the same way as you do. 856 01:01:58,006 --> 01:02:00,092 - Really? - Yeah. It's just they don't... 857 01:02:00,217 --> 01:02:02,195 They don't have the balls to admit it. You know what I mean? 858 01:02:02,219 --> 01:02:04,972 I mean, they're just... They're wimps. 859 01:02:05,097 --> 01:02:07,474 Samantha's... She's really special, you know? 860 01:02:08,100 --> 01:02:09,685 I'll make a deal with you. 861 01:02:09,810 --> 01:02:12,229 You let me keep these, 862 01:02:12,354 --> 01:02:14,523 I'll let you take Caroline home. 863 01:02:14,648 --> 01:02:16,316 But you gotta make sure she gets home. 864 01:02:16,442 --> 01:02:19,820 You can't leave her in some parking lot somewhere. OK? 865 01:02:20,863 --> 01:02:22,448 Jake, I'm only a freshman. 866 01:02:22,573 --> 01:02:25,784 So? She's so blitzed, she won't know the difference. 867 01:02:25,909 --> 01:02:27,536 Jake, I don't have a car. 868 01:02:27,661 --> 01:02:29,121 You can take mine. 869 01:02:29,246 --> 01:02:31,957 Jake, I don't have a licence. 870 01:02:32,082 --> 01:02:33,709 I trust you. 871 01:02:37,588 --> 01:02:41,258 Jake, I'd love to. I can't. Want a pretzel? 872 01:02:41,383 --> 01:02:44,011 - You sure? - Positive. 873 01:02:56,940 --> 01:02:57,983 I got her. 874 01:02:58,108 --> 01:02:59,902 - You got her? - Mm-hmm. 875 01:03:10,370 --> 01:03:11,788 This is your car, Jake? 876 01:03:11,914 --> 01:03:15,792 No, this is my dad's car. You said you couldn't drive a stick. 877 01:03:15,918 --> 01:03:18,378 This is a mother... 878 01:03:18,504 --> 01:03:20,547 This is a Rolls-Royce, Jake. 879 01:03:20,672 --> 01:03:23,550 - So? - So? So? 880 01:03:23,675 --> 01:03:26,428 I heard the grill alone costs five grand on this. 881 01:03:26,553 --> 01:03:30,140 Five grand. Do you have five grand? I don't have five grand. 882 01:03:30,265 --> 01:03:32,601 - Then don't hit anything. - "Don't hit anything"... 883 01:03:32,726 --> 01:03:34,770 Do you want to do this or not? 884 01:03:34,895 --> 01:03:36,355 No. 885 01:03:39,483 --> 01:03:42,194 Who the hell? Who does he... 886 01:03:53,205 --> 01:03:54,748 Uh-oh... 887 01:04:04,841 --> 01:04:06,718 Mm-hmm. Mm-mm... 888 01:04:09,137 --> 01:04:10,472 Who's he? 889 01:04:10,597 --> 01:04:12,099 That's me. 890 01:04:19,189 --> 01:04:20,357 Who are you? 891 01:04:20,482 --> 01:04:21,775 I'm him. 892 01:04:27,906 --> 01:04:29,866 Oh. 893 01:04:29,992 --> 01:04:31,285 OK. 894 01:04:31,868 --> 01:04:34,621 - She's totally gone. Have fun. - Thanks. 895 01:04:41,503 --> 01:04:44,923 - Jake, is your dad a big man, or... - About 6'4". 896 01:04:45,048 --> 01:04:46,675 Very nice. 897 01:04:50,012 --> 01:04:52,264 Ho. 898 01:04:57,102 --> 01:04:58,812 Ho. 899 01:04:59,646 --> 01:05:01,398 Easy. 900 01:05:02,441 --> 01:05:03,692 Easy. 901 01:05:21,710 --> 01:05:23,337 ♪ Hey, sucker 902 01:05:24,796 --> 01:05:26,923 ♪ What the hell's got into you? 903 01:05:29,926 --> 01:05:31,553 ♪ Hey, sucker... ♪ 904 01:05:35,599 --> 01:05:39,436 Oh, sexy girlfriend. 905 01:05:40,646 --> 01:05:42,397 Banzai! 906 01:06:28,360 --> 01:06:30,028 - Think they liked us? - Definitely. 907 01:06:30,153 --> 01:06:32,197 Whoo! Go, darling geek. 908 01:06:32,322 --> 01:06:34,032 Could we turn that music down a little bit? 909 01:06:34,157 --> 01:06:36,618 I'm a first-time driver. I really need to concentrate. 910 01:06:36,743 --> 01:06:39,538 Excuse me. Stop that. 911 01:06:40,372 --> 01:06:42,749 Looks like rain. Better put the top up. 912 01:06:42,874 --> 01:06:45,752 Will you stop that? You can get us in a lot of trouble doing that. 913 01:06:45,877 --> 01:06:47,546 This is a car. 914 01:06:48,964 --> 01:06:51,925 He probably doesn't even got Triple A on it or anything. 915 01:06:52,050 --> 01:06:54,636 Chug-a-lug, Pooh Bear. 916 01:06:56,430 --> 01:06:59,683 I can't believe you're so popular, acting like this. 917 01:07:02,894 --> 01:07:04,479 Hello? 918 01:07:04,604 --> 01:07:06,940 Oh, I don't know. I'll have to look. 919 01:07:07,065 --> 01:07:09,276 Mr Ryan, are you in here? 920 01:07:09,401 --> 01:07:12,028 He's not. Mr Ryan's not in right now. 921 01:07:12,154 --> 01:07:14,781 My Christmas present to you. 922 01:07:14,906 --> 01:07:17,451 - Thank you. - No. Really. Serious. 923 01:07:17,576 --> 01:07:19,161 See? See? 924 01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:23,165 Thank you. 925 01:07:24,416 --> 01:07:26,585 Now we're both on the pill. 926 01:07:32,466 --> 01:07:34,593 You gave me a birth control pill? 927 01:07:34,718 --> 01:07:36,928 Do you have any idea what that'll do to a guy my age? 928 01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:39,681 I know exactly what it'll do to a girl my age. 929 01:07:39,806 --> 01:07:41,850 First time in a car, and then this shit. 930 01:07:41,975 --> 01:07:45,687 - It makes it OK to be really super careless. - Wait, wait. 931 01:07:52,527 --> 01:07:55,906 Look, we're not going any further until you stop these childish antics, Caroline. 932 01:07:56,031 --> 01:07:58,867 - Don't be such a poop. - Huh! 933 01:08:00,118 --> 01:08:01,620 On second thought... 934 01:08:01,745 --> 01:08:03,455 I love you. 935 01:08:07,876 --> 01:08:09,795 This is getting good. 936 01:08:34,194 --> 01:08:36,196 Ted, what the hell are you doing? 937 01:08:36,321 --> 01:08:37,989 Are those humongous jocks back? 938 01:08:40,158 --> 01:08:41,868 Cliff, do you have any film in your camera? 939 01:08:41,993 --> 01:08:43,286 What? 940 01:08:44,246 --> 01:08:46,873 Take those ridiculous things off. 941 01:08:48,333 --> 01:08:50,752 - Do you have any film in your camera? - Sure. 942 01:08:50,877 --> 01:08:53,380 OK. You guys, go get it and bring it outside, OK? 943 01:08:53,505 --> 01:08:55,006 - Right out front. - What for? 944 01:08:55,131 --> 01:08:58,301 Look, just get it and come on out front, OK? 945 01:08:58,426 --> 01:09:00,470 - UFO? - It's better. 946 01:09:01,346 --> 01:09:02,722 Extraterrestrial? 947 01:09:02,848 --> 01:09:05,600 It's better. All right? Just get it and come on outside. 948 01:09:05,725 --> 01:09:07,185 Female extraterrestrial? 949 01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:10,397 It's better, now... Shh! 950 01:09:11,064 --> 01:09:13,191 Better than female extraterrestrial? 951 01:09:13,316 --> 01:09:16,403 - How do you tell if it's a female? - Cos it's got tits. 952 01:09:16,528 --> 01:09:18,488 Well, what makes them different than regular tits? 953 01:09:18,530 --> 01:09:20,740 They got four. 954 01:09:20,866 --> 01:09:23,702 Just get the camera. It's in the closet. No, don't go in the closet. 955 01:09:29,165 --> 01:09:30,876 They're such assholes. I can't believe it. 956 01:09:31,918 --> 01:09:33,295 photography. 957 01:09:33,420 --> 01:09:35,589 Well, it's not my fault, you should check that out. 958 01:09:35,714 --> 01:09:37,316 - Why do you always have to argue? - I'm not arguing. 959 01:09:37,340 --> 01:09:38,592 - Yes, you are. - I am not. 960 01:09:38,717 --> 01:09:39,926 - Yes, you are. - I am not. 961 01:09:40,051 --> 01:09:42,071 Every time I try to do something, it's always bitch, bitch, bitch. 962 01:09:42,095 --> 01:09:44,639 Bitch is a female dog. OK? Not even. 963 01:09:44,764 --> 01:09:46,683 What's that supposed to mean? 964 01:09:47,767 --> 01:09:49,394 - Shit. - Shoot. 965 01:10:06,661 --> 01:10:09,122 Ted, that's a Rolls-Royce. 966 01:10:09,247 --> 01:10:10,999 Ted, that's the prom queen. 967 01:10:11,124 --> 01:10:13,001 You got two girls in one night. 968 01:10:13,835 --> 01:10:16,338 - I told you dudes I was hot. - Hot? Ted, you're a legend. 969 01:10:16,463 --> 01:10:17,964 Will you shut up? 970 01:10:18,089 --> 01:10:19,966 People around here work, all right? 971 01:10:21,009 --> 01:10:23,279 Now, will you hurry it up? I'm breaking, like, 30 major laws here. 972 01:10:23,303 --> 01:10:25,096 - Come on. - You know, Ted, 973 01:10:25,221 --> 01:10:27,641 nobody's gonna believe you. 974 01:10:27,766 --> 01:10:28,934 No way. 975 01:10:30,936 --> 01:10:34,272 That, my friends, is what the pictures are for. 976 01:10:34,397 --> 01:10:35,774 OK? 977 01:10:36,316 --> 01:10:37,651 Ow! 978 01:10:49,454 --> 01:10:51,081 Just get that thing there. 979 01:10:52,123 --> 01:10:54,584 - All right, you guys ready? - Wait, hold on. 980 01:10:56,628 --> 01:10:57,748 Just put it down just a bit. 981 01:10:57,837 --> 01:10:59,607 You guys know what you're doing here, or what? 982 01:10:59,631 --> 01:11:01,341 All right, just a minute. 983 01:11:01,466 --> 01:11:03,635 - How does this look? - Very nice. 984 01:11:04,260 --> 01:11:05,971 Wait a minute, you know, black-and-white, 985 01:11:06,096 --> 01:11:08,390 it would just capture the moment so nicely, wouldn't it? 986 01:11:08,515 --> 01:11:11,184 - Aww... - Will you take the picture already? 987 01:11:11,309 --> 01:11:14,145 You're pissing me off, I'm telling you. 988 01:11:16,815 --> 01:11:20,694 - Smile, pumpkin. - What? Oh. Pictures. 989 01:11:20,819 --> 01:11:22,904 Cheers. 990 01:11:43,591 --> 01:11:46,469 ♪ Treulich geführt 991 01:11:46,594 --> 01:11:49,848 ♪ Ziehet dahin 992 01:11:49,973 --> 01:11:54,060 ♪ Wo euch der Segen der Liebe bewahr ♪ 993 01:11:56,479 --> 01:11:59,315 Oh, Marlene, no. Marlene, no. 994 01:12:01,276 --> 01:12:02,694 Chill out, boy. 995 01:12:03,153 --> 01:12:04,738 Mike, honey, go get dressed. 996 01:12:04,863 --> 01:12:07,365 I can't believe it. Ginny's not in the shower. 997 01:12:08,241 --> 01:12:10,035 I wouldn't go in there if I were you. 998 01:12:10,160 --> 01:12:13,580 Grandpa Fred was in there for a half an hour. It's totally polluted. 999 01:12:13,705 --> 01:12:16,666 - Get dressed. - It's your nose. 1000 01:12:21,171 --> 01:12:22,380 They never listen. 1001 01:12:23,214 --> 01:12:25,383 What was he wearing? 1002 01:12:25,508 --> 01:12:26,968 Well, he would have... 1003 01:12:27,093 --> 01:12:31,765 He was wearing a red argyle sweater and tan trousers. 1004 01:12:31,890 --> 01:12:34,059 And red shoes. 1005 01:12:34,184 --> 01:12:37,145 Hmm? No, he's not retarded. 1006 01:12:37,771 --> 01:12:39,814 Now, what can I do to help? 1007 01:12:39,939 --> 01:12:43,068 - Well, you could finish the French toast. - Good. 1008 01:12:44,569 --> 01:12:48,448 - I'll, erm... I'll just open the donuts. - Good thinking. 1009 01:12:48,573 --> 01:12:50,909 Oops! Don't wanna lose the nails. 1010 01:12:57,040 --> 01:12:59,417 I'll just wait till I hear from you, then. 1011 01:12:59,542 --> 01:13:01,795 Voilà. Breakfast is ready. 1012 01:13:04,130 --> 01:13:06,174 Oh, Sam. 1013 01:13:06,966 --> 01:13:09,803 Sam, I am so sorry about your birthday. 1014 01:13:11,221 --> 01:13:13,515 It's OK. I'll recover. 1015 01:13:14,432 --> 01:13:16,351 It's important to you. 1016 01:13:17,143 --> 01:13:20,730 And yesterday morning, you were trying to tell me. 1017 01:13:21,731 --> 01:13:23,566 It's OK, Mom. 1018 01:13:24,192 --> 01:13:26,111 These things sometimes happen. 1019 01:13:26,236 --> 01:13:27,779 Oh... 1020 01:13:27,904 --> 01:13:31,699 - Honey, I just feel miserable. - You'll feel better. 1021 01:13:31,825 --> 01:13:33,118 Who died? 1022 01:13:37,122 --> 01:13:39,833 Is there something you want to say to your sister? 1023 01:13:39,958 --> 01:13:43,545 What? Are you kidding? Where should I start? 1024 01:13:44,462 --> 01:13:46,798 I mean about her birthday. 1025 01:13:46,923 --> 01:13:48,633 It was yesterday. We all forgot. 1026 01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:52,679 Classic! 1027 01:13:58,143 --> 01:14:00,895 Deep down, he's really sorry. 1028 01:14:05,066 --> 01:14:07,819 - No, he's not. - No, he's not. 1029 01:14:07,944 --> 01:14:11,239 I have to go to this wedding and look like Miss Pretty Princess 1030 01:14:11,364 --> 01:14:13,283 in this dipshit's bridesmaid's dress. 1031 01:14:13,408 --> 01:14:16,786 I don't even have one-tenth of the bod to fill the stupid bust up. 1032 01:14:16,911 --> 01:14:19,330 So what? Should I just waste myself and spare the agony? 1033 01:14:20,248 --> 01:14:23,376 I was gonna tell you something, but maybe I shouldn't. It's pretty bad. 1034 01:14:23,501 --> 01:14:26,337 You may as well. Nothing could shock me anymore. 1035 01:14:28,590 --> 01:14:31,630 Last night at the dance, my little brother paid a buck to see your underwear. 1036 01:14:34,512 --> 01:14:38,349 I hate that rock 'n' roll rubbish. 1037 01:14:38,474 --> 01:14:40,560 Well, I'm afraid it's here to stay, Howie. 1038 01:14:45,899 --> 01:14:48,985 Sam, you're dragging your dress, honey. Pick it up. 1039 01:14:49,110 --> 01:14:50,528 Come on, Ginny. 1040 01:14:50,653 --> 01:14:52,989 - Hurry up, sweetie. - Why is she so slow? 1041 01:14:53,114 --> 01:14:55,158 Do not fuss at your sister. It's her wedding day. 1042 01:14:55,283 --> 01:14:58,578 - Big deal. - All right, is everybody in? 1043 01:14:58,703 --> 01:15:01,039 Oh, dear. Are you all right, Ginny? 1044 01:15:01,164 --> 01:15:03,625 ♪ Gee my life's a funny thing 1045 01:15:03,750 --> 01:15:06,085 ♪ Am I still too young? 1046 01:15:06,920 --> 01:15:09,589 ♪ All night... ♪ 1047 01:15:09,714 --> 01:15:11,507 Come on, everybody. 1048 01:15:14,052 --> 01:15:16,137 Get in the car, please. We're late already. 1049 01:15:16,262 --> 01:15:18,681 ♪ She wants the young American 1050 01:15:18,806 --> 01:15:21,893 ♪ All night 1051 01:15:22,018 --> 01:15:24,479 ♪ She wants the young American... ♪ 1052 01:15:24,604 --> 01:15:29,150 Helen, will you get in the car? I don't know what they're fussing about. 1053 01:15:29,275 --> 01:15:30,777 Helen, get in the car. 1054 01:15:33,071 --> 01:15:36,032 ♪ But heaven forbid, she'll take anything 1055 01:15:36,157 --> 01:15:38,284 ♪ But the freak and his type, all for nothing 1056 01:15:38,910 --> 01:15:41,663 ♪ Misses a step and cuts his hand 1057 01:15:41,788 --> 01:15:43,831 ♪ But showing nothing, he swoops like a song ♪ 1058 01:15:43,957 --> 01:15:45,625 Hey, Howard, there's your Chinaman. 1059 01:15:45,750 --> 01:15:47,752 - Oh, thanks, Fred. - Bye, Dong. 1060 01:15:49,337 --> 01:15:52,048 What the... What's he doing on the ground there? 1061 01:15:52,173 --> 01:15:54,259 What's happened to him? What's happened? 1062 01:15:54,384 --> 01:15:56,219 Hold a mirror in front of his mouth. 1063 01:15:56,344 --> 01:15:58,471 Howard. He's dead! 1064 01:15:58,596 --> 01:16:01,599 Oh, shit. I pay seven grand for a wedding, I'll never see it. 1065 01:16:01,724 --> 01:16:04,686 Oh, watch your language, Mr Dirty Mouth. 1066 01:16:06,145 --> 01:16:09,524 - Oh, thank God, he is still warm. - Oh, good. 1067 01:16:09,649 --> 01:16:12,110 - Here, help me roll him over. - I'll help you. 1068 01:16:15,446 --> 01:16:17,657 - Gross. - Ugh, canine cologne. 1069 01:16:17,782 --> 01:16:20,994 Oh, no more yankie my wankie. 1070 01:16:21,119 --> 01:16:23,037 The Donger need food. 1071 01:16:25,873 --> 01:16:28,626 Hell, he's three sheets to the wind. 1072 01:16:29,627 --> 01:16:31,129 He's drunk as a skunk. 1073 01:16:31,254 --> 01:16:33,423 Oh, why don't you shut up, Fred. Shut up. 1074 01:16:33,548 --> 01:16:35,008 Dong. 1075 01:16:37,051 --> 01:16:38,428 Dong. 1076 01:16:39,012 --> 01:16:41,472 Dong, Grandpa is talking to you. 1077 01:16:44,017 --> 01:16:45,435 Dong. 1078 01:16:45,560 --> 01:16:48,313 Where is my automobile? 1079 01:16:49,105 --> 01:16:52,025 Automobile? 1080 01:17:00,867 --> 01:17:02,910 Lake. 1081 01:17:03,036 --> 01:17:05,538 Big lake. 1082 01:17:05,663 --> 01:17:07,248 Why, you little scuzzbag. 1083 01:17:07,707 --> 01:17:08,791 Ow! 1084 01:17:11,044 --> 01:17:13,755 Oh, my. Is everything all right? 1085 01:17:14,464 --> 01:17:16,716 I was afraid you'd had an accident. 1086 01:17:17,675 --> 01:17:20,011 I wish. 1087 01:17:20,136 --> 01:17:23,014 Her monthly bill came early. 1088 01:17:24,974 --> 01:17:28,436 Well, she's fine. She just took a muscle relaxer. 1089 01:17:28,561 --> 01:17:30,646 Try four. 1090 01:17:30,772 --> 01:17:32,607 - You didn't. - Mother. 1091 01:17:52,418 --> 01:17:54,087 Damn, Mom. I've got my headgear on. 1092 01:17:54,212 --> 01:17:56,047 Will you wake up? 1093 01:17:57,507 --> 01:17:59,175 Where the hell am I? 1094 01:18:00,051 --> 01:18:03,888 I'll tell you where you are if you'll tell me who you are. 1095 01:18:05,681 --> 01:18:07,308 Farmer Ted. 1096 01:18:07,433 --> 01:18:10,686 You're in the parking lot across the street from my church. 1097 01:18:12,397 --> 01:18:14,190 You own a church? 1098 01:18:19,445 --> 01:18:21,030 What happened? 1099 01:18:21,155 --> 01:18:22,949 I have no idea. 1100 01:18:27,662 --> 01:18:29,831 Did I do that to your hair? 1101 01:18:31,040 --> 01:18:33,334 At this point, anything's possible. 1102 01:18:36,504 --> 01:18:37,922 Um... 1103 01:18:40,633 --> 01:18:42,176 Did, erm... 1104 01:18:44,262 --> 01:18:46,305 - Did we, er... - Yeah. 1105 01:18:47,807 --> 01:18:49,642 I'm pretty sure. 1106 01:18:51,686 --> 01:18:52,895 Erm... 1107 01:18:53,020 --> 01:18:55,523 Excuse me, but do you... 1108 01:18:55,648 --> 01:18:59,110 Do you know if... Did I enjoy it? 1109 01:19:00,361 --> 01:19:01,921 What, am I nuts? Of course I enjoyed it. 1110 01:19:02,029 --> 01:19:05,950 I mean... What I meant was, did you? 1111 01:19:08,786 --> 01:19:10,329 Hmm. 1112 01:19:11,664 --> 01:19:14,167 You know, I have this weird feeling I did. 1113 01:19:24,010 --> 01:19:26,220 Here, Ginny. Drink this. 1114 01:19:27,305 --> 01:19:28,931 Come on. 1115 01:19:30,725 --> 01:19:32,185 Here. 1116 01:19:36,439 --> 01:19:37,857 Wow. 1117 01:19:38,483 --> 01:19:39,942 Do I feel funky! 1118 01:19:40,067 --> 01:19:42,069 - Uh-huh! - Oh, God! 1119 01:20:01,005 --> 01:20:03,090 OK. I'm coming. 1120 01:20:05,009 --> 01:20:08,596 Hello? Geez, this place is so confusing. 1121 01:20:10,348 --> 01:20:11,807 OK. 1122 01:20:20,983 --> 01:20:23,736 Go away. I call FIB. I call police. 1123 01:20:23,861 --> 01:20:25,947 - Go away. - Open the door. 1124 01:20:26,072 --> 01:20:28,824 - No way, Jose. - Open the door. 1125 01:20:28,950 --> 01:20:30,743 You beat up my face. 1126 01:20:30,868 --> 01:20:33,246 You grabbed my nuts. 1127 01:20:36,207 --> 01:20:38,626 - Was that you? - Yeah. That me. 1128 01:20:40,711 --> 01:20:43,214 Oh, I'm so sorry. 1129 01:20:43,339 --> 01:20:47,510 I thought you my new, new-style American girlfriend. 1130 01:20:47,635 --> 01:20:50,680 - Forget it, man. Just get Samantha, all right? - She not here. 1131 01:20:50,805 --> 01:20:53,266 - Don't jerk me around, man. Where is she? - She got married. 1132 01:20:53,391 --> 01:20:55,768 - What? - She at the church. 1133 01:20:55,893 --> 01:20:58,104 She getting married to oily bohunk. 1134 01:20:59,105 --> 01:21:00,690 - Married? - Married. 1135 01:21:00,815 --> 01:21:03,317 - Married? - Yeah. Married. 1136 01:21:07,488 --> 01:21:08,739 Married? 1137 01:21:08,864 --> 01:21:11,325 Married! Geez. 1138 01:21:18,874 --> 01:21:21,043 Are you gonna be all right, sweetie? 1139 01:21:21,168 --> 01:21:24,714 It's gonna be a piece of cake, Bren. 1140 01:21:26,716 --> 01:21:29,594 Um, Ginny, I'm really happy for you. 1141 01:21:30,803 --> 01:21:33,556 I'm sorry for being kind of a jerk lately. 1142 01:21:34,890 --> 01:21:37,310 That's really lovely, Sam. 1143 01:21:37,435 --> 01:21:39,729 I know you'll have a great marriage. 1144 01:21:44,650 --> 01:21:46,360 Ginny! 1145 01:21:50,197 --> 01:21:52,408 - Holy shit. - She just had a cramp. 1146 01:21:53,034 --> 01:21:55,161 I don't care what she's got. Look at her. 1147 01:21:55,286 --> 01:21:57,371 Will you please be quiet? 1148 01:21:57,496 --> 01:22:00,750 We don't want to announce to everyone that she has her period. 1149 01:22:00,875 --> 01:22:06,297 I guess those guys who thought we had to get married feel pretty stupid right now, huh, Padre? 1150 01:22:15,848 --> 01:22:18,351 ♪ Here comes the bride 1151 01:22:19,769 --> 01:22:22,146 ♪ Big, fat and wide ♪ 1152 01:22:34,241 --> 01:22:36,243 Love the teapot. 1153 01:22:45,836 --> 01:22:48,047 Could you move over? 1154 01:22:51,133 --> 01:22:53,344 - Are you OK? You all right? - I gotta rest. 1155 01:22:53,469 --> 01:22:55,429 - Come on. Here we go. - What's the matter? 1156 01:22:55,554 --> 01:22:57,348 Here comes the bride. 1157 01:23:02,228 --> 01:23:04,730 Here we go. OK. Come on. 1158 01:23:09,694 --> 01:23:11,153 I'm sorry. 1159 01:23:12,405 --> 01:23:14,198 I got it. I got it. 1160 01:23:18,953 --> 01:23:20,746 Hi. 1161 01:23:20,871 --> 01:23:22,707 I know you. 1162 01:23:24,542 --> 01:23:26,794 Can't see with this thing on. 1163 01:23:31,298 --> 01:23:33,551 I never went out with a freshman. 1164 01:23:34,510 --> 01:23:36,971 Not even when I was a freshman. 1165 01:23:37,096 --> 01:23:38,764 Me either. 1166 01:23:38,889 --> 01:23:40,141 You were pretty crazy. 1167 01:23:41,767 --> 01:23:44,019 - I was? - Yeah. 1168 01:23:44,979 --> 01:23:46,230 But you know what I like best? 1169 01:23:47,022 --> 01:23:48,858 - My clean, close shave? - No. 1170 01:23:51,861 --> 01:23:53,904 Waking up in your arms. 1171 01:23:55,448 --> 01:23:57,116 These things? 1172 01:24:02,204 --> 01:24:04,248 Shit. Jake. 1173 01:24:04,874 --> 01:24:06,292 Jake. 1174 01:24:08,753 --> 01:24:10,629 Holy shit. 1175 01:24:16,552 --> 01:24:19,263 - Stay here, OK? - Oh, my God. 1176 01:24:24,810 --> 01:24:26,395 I'm dead. 1177 01:24:35,738 --> 01:24:37,948 - Hello? - 'Ted. You never called us back. 1178 01:24:38,073 --> 01:24:39,700 'What happened?' 1179 01:24:39,825 --> 01:24:43,871 - Look, Wease. I told you not to call me here. - 'Ted, we're dying. What happened?' 1180 01:24:43,996 --> 01:24:45,414 You wanna know what happened? 1181 01:24:45,539 --> 01:24:46,707 - Buy the book. - 'Ted.' 1182 01:24:55,007 --> 01:24:57,551 I'm really sorry about getting you mixed up with that guy. 1183 01:24:57,676 --> 01:24:59,178 Oh, it's OK. 1184 01:24:59,970 --> 01:25:01,889 It wasn't too terrible. 1185 01:25:02,014 --> 01:25:03,390 Weird? 1186 01:25:06,060 --> 01:25:08,062 I'm really sorry about last night. 1187 01:25:08,187 --> 01:25:09,939 The party. 1188 01:25:10,731 --> 01:25:12,441 Lots of things. 1189 01:25:16,362 --> 01:25:19,240 You know, neither one of us is gonna die 1190 01:25:20,699 --> 01:25:22,660 if it doesn't happen for us. 1191 01:25:23,536 --> 01:25:25,287 That's true. 1192 01:25:25,412 --> 01:25:27,373 I just don't know right now. 1193 01:25:27,498 --> 01:25:30,292 But I'm covered, OK? I won't get hurt. 1194 01:25:32,086 --> 01:25:33,587 Sure. 1195 01:25:36,298 --> 01:25:38,217 I'll leave it up to you. 1196 01:25:39,468 --> 01:25:41,095 Fine. 1197 01:26:25,306 --> 01:26:28,392 - Oh, my God. - Her veil. 1198 01:26:56,921 --> 01:26:58,714 Come on, honey. 1199 01:27:00,591 --> 01:27:01,926 - Honey. - Let's go! 1200 01:27:02,051 --> 01:27:04,303 Come on. Here we go. 1201 01:27:04,428 --> 01:27:06,347 Get her in the back seat, Rudy! 1202 01:27:08,349 --> 01:27:09,934 Bon voyage! 1203 01:27:12,269 --> 01:27:13,854 - See you later. - Bye! 1204 01:27:13,979 --> 01:27:16,315 - Goodbye! - So long, kids. 1205 01:27:30,788 --> 01:27:32,331 Oh, hi. 1206 01:27:32,456 --> 01:27:34,792 Er, my sister forgot her veil. 1207 01:27:34,917 --> 01:27:37,628 I know she wouldn't want anything to happen to it. She's... 1208 01:27:37,753 --> 01:27:41,006 - She's a little out of it. - Just a little bit. 1209 01:27:41,131 --> 01:27:44,009 Yeah. Well, excuse me. 1210 01:27:44,134 --> 01:27:47,388 Everybody's waiting for me. I wanna make sure I see my sister leave. 1211 01:27:47,513 --> 01:27:49,223 Goodbye. 1212 01:27:49,348 --> 01:27:51,225 Bye. 1213 01:27:51,350 --> 01:27:53,394 Oh, I need a drink. 1214 01:28:23,882 --> 01:28:25,801 ♪ If you were here 1215 01:28:25,926 --> 01:28:28,554 - Me? - Yeah, you. 1216 01:28:32,099 --> 01:28:34,184 ♪ If you were here 1217 01:28:34,309 --> 01:28:36,478 ♪ You would believe 1218 01:28:40,649 --> 01:28:42,192 ♪ But would you suspect... ♪ 1219 01:28:42,317 --> 01:28:43,360 - Hi. - Hi. 1220 01:28:43,485 --> 01:28:45,279 - Hi. - Hi. 1221 01:28:49,241 --> 01:28:50,868 What are you doing here? 1222 01:28:50,993 --> 01:28:52,036 I heard you were here. 1223 01:28:53,537 --> 01:28:55,998 You came here for me? 1224 01:28:56,123 --> 01:28:57,708 Is that OK? 1225 01:28:58,834 --> 01:28:59,918 Yeah, it's OK. 1226 01:29:00,961 --> 01:29:02,504 Do you have to go to the reception now? 1227 01:29:04,006 --> 01:29:05,716 I'm supposed to. 1228 01:29:06,759 --> 01:29:09,011 - Can I call you later? - Sure. 1229 01:29:11,722 --> 01:29:13,223 I mean, no. 1230 01:29:16,143 --> 01:29:17,436 No, I can't call you later? 1231 01:29:17,936 --> 01:29:19,354 Yeah. 1232 01:29:20,397 --> 01:29:22,983 No, I mean I'm not going to the reception. 1233 01:29:25,194 --> 01:29:26,487 Oh. Great. 1234 01:29:41,335 --> 01:29:43,337 That's the boy! 1235 01:30:12,157 --> 01:30:14,993 Thanks for getting my undies back. 1236 01:30:15,119 --> 01:30:17,079 Thanks for coming over. 1237 01:30:17,871 --> 01:30:19,998 Thanks for coming to get me. 1238 01:30:22,167 --> 01:30:24,169 Happy birthday, Samantha. 1239 01:30:26,130 --> 01:30:27,881 Make a wish. 1240 01:30:30,509 --> 01:30:32,511 It already came true. 1241 01:30:35,681 --> 01:30:37,516 ♪ If you were here 1242 01:30:37,641 --> 01:30:40,227 ♪ I could deceive you 1243 01:30:43,856 --> 01:30:45,691 ♪ If you were here 1244 01:30:45,816 --> 01:30:48,402 ♪ You would believe 1245 01:30:51,864 --> 01:30:54,241 ♪ But would you suspect 1246 01:30:54,366 --> 01:30:59,830 ♪ My emotion wandering, yeah 1247 01:30:59,955 --> 01:31:06,295 ♪ Do not want a part of this anymore ♪ 1248 01:31:12,050 --> 01:31:17,347 ♪ Sixteen candles 1249 01:31:19,057 --> 01:31:23,228 ♪ Make a lovely, lovely light 1250 01:31:25,898 --> 01:31:29,568 ♪ But not as bright 1251 01:31:32,112 --> 01:31:37,701 ♪ As your eyes tonight 1252 01:31:38,368 --> 01:31:43,207 ♪ Blow out the candles 1253 01:31:44,958 --> 01:31:48,212 ♪ Make your wish come true 1254 01:31:52,132 --> 01:31:55,636 ♪ For I'll be wishing 1255 01:31:58,180 --> 01:32:02,017 ♪ That you love me, too 1256 01:32:04,645 --> 01:32:08,482 ♪ You're only sixteen 1257 01:32:10,692 --> 01:32:14,696 ♪ But you're my teenage queen 1258 01:32:18,158 --> 01:32:24,122 ♪ You're the prettiest, the loveliest girl 1259 01:32:24,665 --> 01:32:28,126 ♪ I've ever seen 1260 01:32:30,379 --> 01:32:34,675 ♪ Sixteen candles 1261 01:32:37,177 --> 01:32:41,348 ♪ In my heart will glow 1262 01:32:44,351 --> 01:32:49,231 ♪ Forever and ever and ever, whoa whoa 1263 01:32:50,399 --> 01:32:55,028 ♪ For I love you so 1264 01:32:56,738 --> 01:32:58,240 ♪ Hey! 1265 01:33:22,639 --> 01:33:29,855 ♪ Sixteen candles, yeah 1266 01:33:29,980 --> 01:33:35,110 ♪ In my heart, in my heart will glow 1267 01:33:37,070 --> 01:33:41,450 ♪ Forever and ever and ever 1268 01:33:43,243 --> 01:33:46,705 ♪ For I love you so 1269 01:33:46,830 --> 01:33:54,830 ♪ For I love you so, whoa whoa ♪ 94722

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.