Original subtitles

Oh, my God. Dad! Come down!

Whoo!

REFORMED

Come around back!

Ilan?

Oh.

Ilan?

I haven't been a good father.

Or a good Jew.

It's about your son, isn't it?

Did you talk to him like I told you?

Well, yeah.

- Did you tell him how important it is? - Yes, I told him everything.

He won't listen. He just stays holed up in his room all day,

doing who knows on the internet.

Well, that's social media's fault.

It has very serious cognitive consequences on teenagers.

Yeah, it's social media's fault.

And then there's pornography too. It's awful.

It spreads such toxic representations in the minds of young people.

The woman is reduced to a mere object of passive pleasure,

and the man is portrayed as a huge machine.

Maybe he's just afraid of becoming an adult.

That's why he doesn't want to do his bar mitzvah.

- You think so? - Well, yeah.

A bar mitzvah marks the end of childhood. That can be dreadful.

You're right. That's what he needs, a pep talk to help him grow up.

- Let's do it. - Come on. Come on.

It's right here.

Maybe, I was thinking it'd be better if you went in alone.

No, I think it's better if we talk to him together.

- Really? - Yes.

- You don't want a cookie do you? - No thanks, I'm fine.

- Take it anyway. - Right. Let's go.

Police!

Are you the lady rabbi?

Mmm, yes. Is it really that obvious?

Yeah.

- Anyhow... - Don't worry about it.

If my dad really wants me to have my bar mitzvah that badly,

I'll do it, I don't give a crap.

Ah, no way. No. You shouldn't do it for him.

You should do it for your own sake.

Okay.

Why don't you want to have your bar mitzvah? Can you tell me?

CLIMATE CHANGE

It's the group of worldwide experts who talk about climate change.

- Haven't you heard of it? - Well, yeah, of course I have.

But how's that related to your bar mitzvah?

That's exactly what I want to know.

What's the connection between my bar mitzvah and climate change?

How're they related?

Well...

Look, Noé.

It's great to care about the big issues in the world.

It's really important.

- But at 12... - 13 in three weeks.

Okay, fine. At 13 years old...

you'd be better off focusing on things more your age, don't you think?

I thought children became adults at 13.

Isn't that what a bar mitzvah's all about?

It is.

You know,

the Earth has already warmed by 2.9 degrees since the pre-industrial era.

The damage is now irreversible. Dead zones are spreading in the oceans.

Wild bees are disappearing, so are fireflies and birds.

Half of the trees alive today will be dead in 40 years.

Last year, the sidewalks melted in Delhi, and it's just the start.

The current state of the world is the best you and I will ever know in our lifetime.

Fossil fuel consumption continues to rise at record levels.

The three hottest days recorded happened last July.

It's a huge problem.

An estimated 100,000,000 human beings... extreme temperatures...

The 35 vital signs after birth...

We're heading toward a 4.9 increase.

- Well? - He's really, really intelligent.

See? I told you.

I mean, all Jewish parents say that about their kids, but...

it's actually true this time.

Did you talk sense into him?

Seems to me, he just... needs somebody to listen.

Well, bad timing, he barely talks to us anymore.

Except to tell us what's allowed and what's not.

He's even worse than a rabbi.

Goddammit.

Sorry, I shouldn't have said that.

- It's okay. I get it. - But you get my point.

We can't fly anymore, uh... We shouldn't fill the pool, uh...

We can't mow the lawn.

The mosquito zapper, we're not even allowed to plug the damn thing in.

It's fucking hell. It's fucking hell. It's fucking hell!

He put dye in the freaking pool this morning.

I mean... what the hell?

Look, it's his bar mitzvah.

And he has to make sense of this.

So, um, uh...

Maybe you could figure out a way

to incorporate his strong environmental concerns into the party.

- A theme, you mean? - Yes, exactly.

- Like the Charbit boy's bar mitzvah. - Uh-huh.

- I mean, sure, but... - Yes.

It was a lot of fun. The theme was, uh, Game of Thrones.

They had dwarves in costumes, people took photos with them.

Super fun. But he's all about nature. I mean, that's the whole reason

- he's been giving us shit, it's about... - Right.

Ah, ah, I know... Avatar!

Avatar.

The theme could be Avatar.

With waiters in costume and activities, everybody will love it.

It opens a lot of doors.

It opens a whole bunch of doors.

Mm-hm...

- You're a genius. Let me give you a kiss. - Yeah, sure.

- Is that allowed? Does the Talmud agree? - Sure, yes.

Is that okay, up there? Look away.

Thanks a lot.

- You're welcome. - You're my savior.

Hello?

- Hey, what's up, Dad? How's it going? - Fine.

Cool. I was wondering, um... Are we still on for dinner tonight?

What dinner?

Well, you mentioned having me over for dinner tonight.

- Tonight? - Yeah.

- No, I don't remember that. - Okay, never mind. It's just, I mean...

I had it penciled in. I even canceled dinner with friends to go to yours.

- But it's fine. - No, no, well...

Just come over. It's fine. Uh... Eight o'clock, then?

Okay, cool. That's great.

- Don't be late. - No, no.

Don't worry, Dad, I hopefully won't be late.

See you then. Love you.

I have the tie in my bag, but I also have two tickets to the opera.

My dad loves Verdi, so I figure we'll see how dinner goes.

I say, "Happy birthday."

He gives me a kiss, examines me from head to toe, and then mutters,

"I don't need a gift, my gift is you." Like...

Doesn't that make you happy?

No, but suddenly, I become his gift, at my age, really?

While he's always been such a jerk?

Don't you think it's because of my PhD? Or my internship at the Council of State?

- He's ecstatic. - Do you mind that he's proud?

No, no, but wait.

Let me finish the story.

Anyway, we walk through the restaurant. A much fancier one than usual, by the way.

And I, like an idiot, just assumed...

you know, we were eating alone, right?

We didn't. There are two dudes at the table.

Some teachers.

One of them is a constitutional law expert, a real star. Geisweiler.

That's when I got it.

I basically happen to be his new tie.

Hmm.

Yeah, I'm his trophy.

"Oh, Suzie got summa cum laude, we're so incredibly proud." Ugh...

My dad is so very proud.

Maybe he's even proud that they all wanna fuck me.

Oh. Well...

What, you think I'm wrong?

Well, I hope you at least trust me to know when a man wants to fuck me.

What did you end up gifting him? Wagner or the tie?

Neither.

I'm his gift.

- Are you even listening? - Caught in his own trap, so to speak.

Exactly.

What are you guys getting me for my birthday?

It already passed.

That's my point, you didn't get me anything.

Well, no. Is there something that you'd like?

Well, I'm not sure. No. I don't need anything, to be honest.

There has to be a book on antisemitism you don't already have.

I was just thinking, maybe, tickets to the opera.

- Oh! Totally. - Okay.

So an opera on antisemitism, huh?

God, ugh, what a drag.

Could be cool, though.

Õ They're everywhere They have hook noses Õ

Õ They control the world Õ -

Composting toilets, ecofriendly decorations,

all powered by autonomous solar panels, of course.

Not a single power outlet.

As for the meal, it was a challenge,

but I managed to track down some kosher, organic meat.

And as for the theme, your dad and I were thinking about...

The Ark of Noah.

Because it's your name and because he saved the animals, the Earth and all that.

And we figured you could make an entrance on a giant ark,

with lots of animals around you.

- Real animals. - Right.

- So we got a horse, goats... - Yeah, yeah.

And right now, I'm even trying to figure out if I can arrange to get a...

Giraffe.

- A giraffe. - I spilled the beans, couldn't help it.

And we'll end the party with my favorite part...

- with a grand release of doves. - We'll set them free.

So, what do you think?

I'm pretty sure... No, hold on! We didn't mention the... Just wait.

You're right.

I looked it up in Michigan, I found the only Jew in Michigan,

and he makes biodegradable yarmulkes, meaning you can plant them afterwards.

After the ceremony, the guests can take off and plant their own yarmulke,

and a tree grows.

Which offsets the carbon footprint.

So it balances everything out.

Sorry, but I don't see how we could do better than this.

I wonder if we should get funding from the region

because we're doing a lot for the planet, huh?

I said I didn't wanna have a bar mitzvah.

Did you hear the presentation? We worked very hard on it.

But I didn't ask for anything.

We can't make him have it.

- It's everything you wanted! - There's nothing that I want!

What do you mean nothing? What does that even mean?

Nothing. I mean, nothing!

I don't want any guests, I don't want any presents.

I don't want anyone hoisting me up on a chair.

I don't want people to have fun, don't you get that?

You don't want people to have fun?

No, I don't want that!

Well, we'll do it anyway!

And it sure as hell won't be eco-friendly!

And we'll still have fun, no matter what!

Thanks a lot for the support.

You're like a loadbearing wall.

- Yeah, Dad. - Hello, Joël.

Mmm... Yeah. No, no, I wasn't sleeping at all.

- Mom's gone. She's gone! - Well, she's been gone for a while.

No, I'm talking about my mom. Liliane. She ran away, she fled.

- Oh, yeah? - Yes!

I figured as much.

I can't believe this. Where can she be?

- I don't know. - She didn't just vanish.

Obviously not. Don't worry, we'll find her.

If anything happens to her, I swear I'll sue them.

Absolutely, we'll sue them for everything they got.

I'm gonna give them hell.

Excuse me, have you seen an older lady with gray hair, looking kinda lost?

- I just saw a lady on a scooter. - A small woman.

What? On a scooter?

That's actually possible, although it would be very surprising.

- Thank you. - Thank you so much.

Do you think it's possible she disguised herself to blend in?

- What? - I don't know.

Maybe she's been planning her escape for months

and is already in Panama with a fake identity.

Oh, come on. Please.

- Hello? - So, did you find her?

The police sealed off the entire area. They're sending choppers.

We don't know if she's armed, so everyone's on edge.

Whatever. Is there anything I can do to help out?

Take your theory test, you log 50 hours of driving,

pass your driving test, buy a car, and join us as soon as possible.

You're such a pain.

I'll call a taxi. No, actually, never mind, I'll bike there.

You'll ride your bike, fine.

- Where the hell is she? - Wait, that's Grandma!

- She's over there! - Where?

- You found her? - I'll call you back!

- Pull over now. - I'll pull over.

- There. Over there. - Yeah, just a sec, I'll stop! Go ahead.

Mom. Mom?

Mom? What are you doing, Mom? Where were you? We looked everywhere.

- Is she hurt? - No, I don't think so.

You gave us a scare, Grandma.

You can't do that. Please don't scare us like that.

Mo... Mom.

No. Mom, Mom, where are you going? Come on. Stay here, Mom.

Come on. Come on, let's get in the car, okay?

Come on, let's go back.

- You wanna go right away? - What? Well, yeah.

I mean, I just thought... She wanted some fresh air, so maybe...

- we could all go for a walk. I... - I'm...

I canceled all my appointments, so...

And those were important, so might as well.

If you feel like it, I don't know...

Well... Okay. Let's go.

Where were you going?

Ilan?

Um... So, what's up? What happened? How did it go with Noé?

You know he can still change his mind, right?

And besides, a boy who questions the meaning of things, that's positive.

Go tell that to my dad.

To your dad?

My dad hasn't talked to me since I've been with Cristina because she's not Jewish.

And the boy's bar mitzvah was kind of an opportunity to...

to reconnect with my old man.

Well, that could still happen. Besides, there's...

there's no age limit for a bar mitzvah, so...

Yeah, well, he'll do it at a different synagogue.

Why a different synagogue?

This whole project was about my son's bar mitzvah.

If he has no interest in having one, that's fine.

I don't need a synagogue anymore.

So, it's a bit of a shame. Five, six... But I gotta land on my feet.

What do you mean "land on your feet?" What are you gonna do?

Make... a co-working space.

What?

This will be a conference area that can become an open space.

And here, a coffee corner. But unlimited coffee.

We'll even have cookies, with CBD.

It's all the rage right now, they're a cash cow.

I won't leave you high and dry.

I'm gonna need a happiness manager.

And that's you.

It's kinda like a rabbi in a co-working context.

Ahh...

Noé, come on, enough joking around.

You're going to listen to your father now and have your bar mitzvah.

You were the one that told me if I was doing it for him, I shouldn't bother.

Ugh! Oh, my God, yeah, I totally said that. I did.

But now I've changed my mind.

You all want to throw a party because I'm becoming an adult,

- but you treat me like a child. - Ugh!

Come with me.

Come on.

Hmm.

What's weighing on you?

- Tell me, Dad. Come on. - Hmm...

Spit it out.

You... You think she'll get over it?

What are you talking about?

Well, this whole... rabbi thing. You...

Do you think this will pass or...

I don't know.

No, I don't think so.

It's not gonna pass.

That's a shame, really.

Yeah, that's a shame.

I don't get the moral of the story.

It's about this guy who sees a disaster coming,

but instead of trying to stop it,

he builds a boat for himself and his family, and lets all of humankind die?

And they call him a hero? It's horrible.

Yeah, but the others, they saw him building his ark the whole time.

He did warn them about the flood.

But they didn't listen, and they didn't repent.

Then it's even more horrible. It means humans are incapable of change.

Yeah.

That's true. It is horrible.

And the rest is even more horrible.

What's the rest?

When the water recedes, Noah becomes an alcoholic.

For real?

Well, yeah, they usually leave that part out for kids.

Go ahead.

Read from here.

"Noah drank the wine,

got drunk, and found himself naked in the middle of his tent."

"Cham, the father of Canaan, saw that his father was naked,

and he told his two brothers who were outside."

Actually, the Midrash says

that Cham assaulted and humiliated his father.

Go on.

"Shem and Japheth took the cloak,

draped it over their shoulders, and carefully walking backward,

they covered their father, who was lying naked."

"Since their faces were turned away, they didn't see their father's nude body."

And that's what originated the tallit. The shawl we wear during prayer.

The one you'll receive at your bar mitzvah.

It comes from the cloak

that Noah's sons placed over him to avoid seeing him naked.

How does this relate to the flood?

That's actually what I'd like to know too. How does this relate to the flood?

And so?

I don't know, I thought we were reading the story of Noah

to talk about the climate.

But this has nothing to do with that.

It's about an alcoholic father and his sons.

It's about a son who looks at the nudity of his father,

and who will be cursed for that.

And about his brothers, who decide to look away,

to cover that nakedness and will be blessed in return.

Okay, and?

"And? And? And?"

You want me to give you the moral of the story,

but I thought you didn't want to be treated like a kid.

Oh. Be right back.

Hey. So, how did everything go?

All good. We put a chip in her, so we can track her on our phones.

What?

- I'm just kidding. - Oh, come on...

- Is that your boyfriend? - Yeah. I wanted to introduce you.

Mmm.

So... Dad, what's the plan with Grandma? Because it can't happen again.

Well...

Oh, I see, so this house has turned into a yeshiva, now.

He really doesn't listen. You were lucky to find her.

It could have been horrible.

They say they wanna put her in the closed wing, but he does nothing.

Doesn't that bother you?

You still think we can reason with Dad? Come on, get real.

People just get old, Léa.

They think their housekeeper is stealing, and...

They think all doctors are against them. They...

They do puzzles, and then they take the puzzles and hang them on the wall.

It is what it is, old age. We have no choice but to deal with it, that's all.

Õ Some of my friends have already placed inside, in their... Õ

- He's not old, he's just a pain. - Same thing.

They go together.

He's full of ideas that have taken root, and now it's too late to weed them out.

It's not gonna get better. There's nothing you can do.

- Bye, Noé. - Bye, sir.

Thanks, Léa.

- See you later, Noé. - See you.

I think I figured it out.

We have to accept that our fathers are useless, and also clueless.

And forgive them.

Is that it?

Yeah. Apparently.

- Good luck. - Thanks.

Modernist style, with rounded shapes, wrought-iron balconies.

- The colors on the roof. - And the frescos are magnificent.

This is truly a historical house.

It's laden with history.

As a matter of fact, the grandmother of the King of Spain used to vacation here.

And before we go in, I wanted to show you this beautiful pool

overlooking Barcelona and the Mediterra...

Yes. Perfect.

Hi. Hi, thanks for coming. How's it going?

Please, no cell phones if you don't mind.

- Glad to be here, my son. - Hi. How are you, Dad?

I'm really glad, Ilan. After you...

Noé. You okay?

I didn't want to have a bar mitzvah.

I didn't understand the point of all this.

For God,

people accept not to eat certain foods or to avoid saying certain words aloud.

They agree to forgo pleasure and comfort.

Some even happily sacrifice their lives for God.

While none of these would they accept doing for other men...

or their children.

Let alone their children's children.

It is written in this week's Parasha that we are in exile.

But what is exile?

It's the world in which we live in. The world of commodities.

It's the capitalism that has trapped us in a world with no meaning.

Soon, due to climate upheavals,

hundreds of millions of people will flee their homes to survive.

That exile has already begun.

Maybe we no longer need these alarming reports,

to which no one really listens.

Maybe what we need is prayer, redemption, and hope.

Because that's all we have left.

Thank you for listening.

- Mazel tov! - Mazel tov!

Mazel tov! Mazel tov!

Mazel tov!

Come on.

Sit over here. Come on. There.