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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:07,049 --> 00:01:09,117 [honks] 2 00:01:11,087 --> 00:01:14,272 1, 2, 3, and... 3 00:01:14,339 --> 00:01:16,124 [good King Wenceslas plays] 4 00:01:23,599 --> 00:01:28,386 %% while the snow lay round about %% 5 00:01:28,454 --> 00:01:33,357 %% deep and crisp and even %% 6 00:01:33,425 --> 00:01:38,596 %% brightly shone the Moon that night... %% 7 00:01:38,664 --> 00:01:40,798 There he is! 8 00:01:40,866 --> 00:01:41,799 Here comes Santa! 9 00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:44,369 He's coming! He's coming! 10 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:45,704 Mommy, he's coming. 11 00:01:51,810 --> 00:01:54,211 Ho! Ho! Ho! 12 00:01:54,279 --> 00:01:55,914 He's here! 13 00:01:55,981 --> 00:01:57,982 It's about time, Santa. 14 00:01:58,050 --> 00:02:00,151 Oh, go fly a kite, Charlotte. 15 00:02:00,218 --> 00:02:02,671 Now, them's the faces I like to see. 16 00:02:02,738 --> 00:02:03,838 Who's first? 17 00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:05,006 Me! Me! 18 00:02:05,073 --> 00:02:06,408 You? 19 00:02:06,475 --> 00:02:08,310 Oh! 20 00:02:08,377 --> 00:02:09,844 Aah! [chuckles] 21 00:02:12,230 --> 00:02:13,798 Oh! 22 00:02:13,866 --> 00:02:15,867 What's your name, cutie pie? 23 00:02:15,934 --> 00:02:17,168 Sabrina. 24 00:02:17,236 --> 00:02:18,737 I don't want much for Christmas. 25 00:02:18,804 --> 00:02:20,538 Some socks would be ok. 26 00:02:20,606 --> 00:02:23,508 Socks...For Christmas? 27 00:02:23,576 --> 00:02:26,311 Now, what is it you really want? 28 00:02:26,378 --> 00:02:30,131 A kitty, a donkey, a pony... 29 00:02:30,199 --> 00:02:31,916 Some roller skates for me and my doll. 30 00:02:31,983 --> 00:02:34,319 You're sure that's what you want? 31 00:02:37,289 --> 00:02:39,340 Why did homer do that? 32 00:02:39,391 --> 00:02:41,743 We don't have any money for Christmas. 33 00:02:41,810 --> 00:02:43,278 Nobody does. 34 00:02:43,345 --> 00:02:46,348 Maybe there really is a Santa Claus, Edna Mae. 35 00:02:46,432 --> 00:02:47,999 You never know. 36 00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:52,069 Oh, Charlotte... 37 00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:53,955 To tell you the God's honest truth, 38 00:02:54,023 --> 00:02:55,223 This is the saddest Christmas 39 00:02:55,291 --> 00:02:57,358 I ever spent 40 00:02:57,426 --> 00:02:58,810 'cause the family knows 41 00:02:58,861 --> 00:03:00,945 It will be our last in Willow creek. 42 00:03:01,013 --> 00:03:03,114 Oh, give it a while, Edna Mae. 43 00:03:05,334 --> 00:03:07,652 Apart from the livestock, honey, 44 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,905 Which of them things do you really want? 45 00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:11,890 A G.I. Joe. 46 00:03:11,957 --> 00:03:14,108 Well... 47 00:03:14,176 --> 00:03:16,461 I ought to sit in homer's lap, 48 00:03:16,495 --> 00:03:18,312 Tell him what we All want for Christmas 49 00:03:18,380 --> 00:03:21,299 Is for that darn cannery to open up again. 50 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,586 Come on , honey. 51 00:03:28,557 --> 00:03:31,492 I want a set of exploding demolition derby cars 52 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,428 And a truck that turns into a robot. 53 00:03:33,529 --> 00:03:35,263 Oh. 54 00:03:37,199 --> 00:03:39,684 Is Al finally coming home this year? 55 00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:41,436 Oh... 56 00:03:41,503 --> 00:03:44,722 I love them California oranges he Always sends. 57 00:03:56,535 --> 00:03:58,370 Thurgood Wiggins-- one set 58 00:03:58,437 --> 00:04:00,372 Of demolition derby exploding cars 59 00:04:00,439 --> 00:04:02,373 And a truck that turns into a robot. 60 00:04:02,441 --> 00:04:03,290 Got it. 61 00:04:06,145 --> 00:04:08,079 A pair of bunny rabbit slippers 62 00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:12,000 And ribbons for her hair. Cleo Rhode. Got it. 63 00:04:13,935 --> 00:04:15,570 Hi. 64 00:04:18,690 --> 00:04:20,291 Look, didn't anybody tell you 65 00:04:20,358 --> 00:04:21,358 That the new secretaries 66 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:23,528 Are supposed to wander around the office 67 00:04:23,595 --> 00:04:25,546 So I can check out their legs? 68 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,071 What is your name? 69 00:04:34,139 --> 00:04:35,339 Turtle. 70 00:04:35,407 --> 00:04:37,809 Turtle? 71 00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:39,577 Well, what kind of name is turtle? 72 00:04:39,645 --> 00:04:41,462 It's my name, All right? 73 00:04:43,265 --> 00:04:44,816 That's it, huh? The whole shooting match? 74 00:04:44,950 --> 00:04:47,151 You got every kid in town, 75 00:04:47,219 --> 00:04:48,886 And nobody knows about it but us two. 76 00:04:48,954 --> 00:04:52,339 Ok. Now, guess who's going to be driving her up? 77 00:04:52,407 --> 00:04:54,225 You don't mean it? 78 00:04:54,292 --> 00:04:56,327 It's gotta do a man's soul good 79 00:04:56,394 --> 00:04:58,430 To have a white Christmas once more in his life. 80 00:04:58,497 --> 00:05:01,849 Hey, what's he writing All that stuff down for? 81 00:05:01,917 --> 00:05:04,785 Oh, Al's kind of a Christmas nut, you know? 82 00:05:04,853 --> 00:05:07,188 Every year he sends a bunch of fruit and stuff 83 00:05:07,256 --> 00:05:09,557 Up to his hometown in Alaska. 84 00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:11,709 This year, though, he's personally taking up 85 00:05:11,777 --> 00:05:13,227 A whole truckload of toys 86 00:05:13,295 --> 00:05:14,445 And, you know, stuff like that. 87 00:05:14,513 --> 00:05:15,480 I think the town's 88 00:05:15,547 --> 00:05:17,181 On its last legs or something. 89 00:05:17,249 --> 00:05:20,535 He must really have the spirit of Christmas, doesn't he? 90 00:05:20,603 --> 00:05:23,921 Yeah. But that's not really 91 00:05:23,989 --> 00:05:26,256 The question here, is it? 92 00:05:26,324 --> 00:05:28,225 The question here is... 93 00:05:28,293 --> 00:05:29,944 Do you... 94 00:05:30,012 --> 00:05:31,763 Like truckers? 95 00:05:33,598 --> 00:05:35,466 My name's Ray. 96 00:05:36,835 --> 00:05:38,403 Hi. 97 00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:39,421 Good. Now, listen up, 98 00:05:39,488 --> 00:05:40,955 'cause I'm sending something else, too. 99 00:05:41,023 --> 00:05:42,623 What? I ain't gonna tell. 100 00:05:42,691 --> 00:05:44,442 It's a surprise, but you'll like it. 101 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:45,543 It's a humdinger. 102 00:05:45,611 --> 00:05:47,661 Al... 103 00:05:47,729 --> 00:05:49,864 I told Edna Mae Fisch this morning 104 00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:52,684 There really was a Santa Claus. 105 00:05:52,751 --> 00:05:54,085 Hmm? 106 00:05:54,152 --> 00:05:55,853 You're him. 107 00:05:55,921 --> 00:05:57,605 Bah. Humbug. 108 00:05:57,673 --> 00:05:59,057 Now, look, I'm hanging up now. 109 00:05:59,124 --> 00:06:01,192 This phone call�s costing me too much money. 110 00:06:01,259 --> 00:06:02,677 I'll see you in four days. 111 00:06:07,115 --> 00:06:08,582 [sighs] 112 00:06:08,650 --> 00:06:12,253 Ray, let's get a beer. Then we'll do some shopping. 113 00:06:17,893 --> 00:06:19,761 [opera plays] 114 00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:28,569 No. No way. I'm not going in there, Al. 115 00:06:28,637 --> 00:06:29,737 Why not? 116 00:06:29,805 --> 00:06:32,022 Well, you know why not. Listen to that music. 117 00:06:32,090 --> 00:06:33,257 Nobody pays good money 118 00:06:33,325 --> 00:06:35,342 To hear fat Italian people sing. 119 00:06:35,410 --> 00:06:36,594 The only reason they got a new jukebox 120 00:06:36,661 --> 00:06:37,495 Is for him. 121 00:06:38,814 --> 00:06:39,880 Hey, Pete, 122 00:06:39,948 --> 00:06:41,749 Why don't you just throw your kid over your knee 123 00:06:41,850 --> 00:06:43,818 And let him have it? 124 00:06:43,885 --> 00:06:46,003 He's 15, Martha Jane. So? 125 00:06:46,104 --> 00:06:48,690 The real problem is me being gone so much. 126 00:06:48,757 --> 00:06:50,191 Maybe if Mike and I 127 00:06:50,258 --> 00:06:53,944 Spend a real nice Christmas together. 128 00:06:54,012 --> 00:06:57,799 Been on the road the last two. 129 00:06:57,866 --> 00:06:59,450 Maybe it would help. 130 00:07:02,287 --> 00:07:03,353 I don't know. 131 00:07:03,421 --> 00:07:06,307 He's not mad at me, and I'm the one who's buying. 132 00:07:22,724 --> 00:07:23,724 Hey, Pete. 133 00:07:23,792 --> 00:07:24,909 Nice music. 134 00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:27,711 Don't look now. Does that mean 135 00:07:27,779 --> 00:07:29,147 We can put on some rock 'n' roll? 136 00:07:29,214 --> 00:07:30,248 Hey, Al. 137 00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:31,549 Pete, where are you going? Let's have a drink. 138 00:07:31,616 --> 00:07:32,750 No, thanks. 139 00:07:32,818 --> 00:07:35,169 You notice who stays and who leaves, don't you? 140 00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:36,387 Why don't you guys 141 00:07:36,454 --> 00:07:38,489 Just shoot each other and get it over with? 142 00:07:38,556 --> 00:07:40,708 Well, you have had worse ideas lately. 143 00:07:40,775 --> 00:07:42,710 Well, if it wasn't for a certain woman I could name... 144 00:07:42,777 --> 00:07:45,746 Oh, come on, Al. Now, don't harp on that, huh? 145 00:07:45,814 --> 00:07:47,131 Uhh! 146 00:07:48,483 --> 00:07:50,517 Al? 147 00:07:50,585 --> 00:07:51,986 You All right? 148 00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:53,120 Yeah, I think so. 149 00:07:53,188 --> 00:07:55,990 It's just a little pleurisy. 150 00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:57,925 Can I get you something? 151 00:07:57,993 --> 00:08:00,094 How about a glass of water? 152 00:08:00,162 --> 00:08:01,129 All right. 153 00:08:01,146 --> 00:08:02,513 You wait right here. 154 00:08:23,185 --> 00:08:25,052 [heavy metal music playing] 155 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,623 %% plastic girl in a plastic world %% 156 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:48,576 %% you got to know what is real-- %% 157 00:08:53,882 --> 00:08:54,749 How'd you like to take in 158 00:08:54,817 --> 00:08:56,317 A raiders game with me this Sunday? 159 00:09:00,405 --> 00:09:02,056 Guess not. 160 00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:05,793 I got a tree. 161 00:09:05,861 --> 00:09:08,129 Yeah, so what? 162 00:09:08,213 --> 00:09:10,864 Well, I was thinking maybe we could 163 00:09:10,932 --> 00:09:12,349 Get down the decorations 164 00:09:12,417 --> 00:09:13,851 And trim it later on. 165 00:09:13,919 --> 00:09:15,019 Maybe make some popcorn 166 00:09:15,086 --> 00:09:16,220 And string it up like we used to. 167 00:09:16,287 --> 00:09:18,322 You mean like me and mom used to. 168 00:09:18,389 --> 00:09:20,941 You and me don't even need a Christmas tree, 169 00:09:21,009 --> 00:09:22,993 'cause you ain't even gonna be here. 170 00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:24,595 Yes, I will. 171 00:09:24,663 --> 00:09:26,714 I'm not going on the road this year. 172 00:09:26,782 --> 00:09:28,716 Yeah? And why not? 173 00:09:28,783 --> 00:09:30,184 Well, maybe so you and I 174 00:09:30,251 --> 00:09:31,185 Can spend Christmas together. 175 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,253 How about that? 176 00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:33,687 Oh, there's a thrill. 177 00:09:36,675 --> 00:09:40,778 %% tell them love isn't real %% 178 00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:42,914 %% till the night %% 179 00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:44,448 %% time is right %% 180 00:09:44,516 --> 00:09:47,785 %% she don't treat nothin' but real... %% 181 00:09:50,355 --> 00:09:53,958 Ha ha ha! Oh! 182 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:59,263 So...You're still not going to tell me 183 00:09:59,331 --> 00:10:02,366 What's up in the front of the load, huh? 184 00:10:02,434 --> 00:10:03,500 Well, tell you what I'm gonna do-- 185 00:10:03,568 --> 00:10:05,286 First time you go to sleep, 186 00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:07,338 I'm going to climb back here and check it out. 187 00:10:07,405 --> 00:10:09,741 No, you won't. 188 00:10:09,808 --> 00:10:10,975 You're too lazy to move All that 189 00:10:11,043 --> 00:10:12,476 Other stuff out of the way. 190 00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,314 Leave any room for my bike? 191 00:10:17,382 --> 00:10:18,649 Oh! Ray! 192 00:10:33,131 --> 00:10:35,049 Why don't you ride with him, Mrs. Al? 193 00:10:35,116 --> 00:10:36,050 I'm coming Along 194 00:10:36,117 --> 00:10:37,685 And hold this old fool's hand. 195 00:10:37,752 --> 00:10:39,086 I'm sorry, ma'am. We can't Allow that. 196 00:10:39,154 --> 00:10:41,855 Oh, yes, you can. 197 00:10:56,571 --> 00:11:00,024 Doggone, how am I supposed to drive? 198 00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:04,445 You aren't. Now just relax. 199 00:11:04,513 --> 00:11:07,614 Helen, this is the most important thing 200 00:11:07,682 --> 00:11:09,617 I've ever done in my life. 201 00:11:09,685 --> 00:11:10,701 That load's got to roll 202 00:11:10,769 --> 00:11:12,603 Out of here tomorrow. 203 00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:16,624 Ok. 204 00:11:20,361 --> 00:11:23,113 Until overland lumber makes a decision to come here, 205 00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,699 Maybe we can go to Washington for some disaster relief. 206 00:11:25,767 --> 00:11:28,302 Economic depression isn't a disaster. 207 00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:30,004 Well, it is to me and my family. 208 00:11:30,071 --> 00:11:31,255 Yeah. Me, too! 209 00:11:31,323 --> 00:11:35,442 We should never have closed the cannery. 210 00:11:35,510 --> 00:11:39,413 Doggone it! The firm took away the operation 211 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:40,647 And the orchard contract 212 00:11:40,715 --> 00:11:42,683 And left Willow creek with an empty building. 213 00:11:42,751 --> 00:11:44,284 Don't you think we tried to keep them here? 214 00:11:44,352 --> 00:11:46,621 Willow creek's a wide spot in the road 215 00:11:46,638 --> 00:11:49,140 In the middle of nowhere. 216 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,976 Nobody's gonna bring in a new business here. 217 00:11:52,043 --> 00:11:53,411 Dadgum it! 218 00:11:53,478 --> 00:11:55,580 Can't you people talk about nothing 219 00:11:55,647 --> 00:11:57,698 But the death of this town? 220 00:11:57,765 --> 00:11:59,217 Christmas is coming. 221 00:11:59,284 --> 00:12:01,452 Aw, shut up, homer. You're taking 222 00:12:01,519 --> 00:12:03,587 Being Santa Claus far too seriously. 223 00:12:03,655 --> 00:12:05,172 This is economic reality 224 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:06,224 We are discussing here. 225 00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:07,642 It's got nothing to do with Christmas. 226 00:12:07,709 --> 00:12:11,912 Mayor, there ain't nothing in this town right now 227 00:12:11,979 --> 00:12:14,431 That doesn't have to do with Christmas. 228 00:12:16,401 --> 00:12:20,287 Willow creek is going to live or die 229 00:12:20,354 --> 00:12:22,523 Depending on this Christmas. 230 00:12:25,694 --> 00:12:28,128 You Mark my words. 231 00:12:37,822 --> 00:12:39,690 Well? 232 00:12:39,757 --> 00:12:42,660 Look, I love you and Al. You know that. 233 00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:44,544 But I can't go. 234 00:12:44,612 --> 00:12:47,615 Can't you bury the hatchet with Ray? 235 00:12:47,682 --> 00:12:50,283 After All, you never were married to Jessie. 236 00:12:50,351 --> 00:12:52,787 Just leave Jessie out of it. 237 00:12:52,854 --> 00:12:54,889 Besides, Ray isn't the main reason. 238 00:12:54,957 --> 00:12:56,456 I can handle him. But the thing is, 239 00:12:56,524 --> 00:12:58,709 I promised Mike that I'd spend Christmas with him. 240 00:12:58,827 --> 00:13:01,279 Take him Along. 241 00:13:01,346 --> 00:13:04,365 I'd have to handcuff him to the truck. 242 00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:07,051 Pete, getting that load to Willow creek 243 00:13:07,118 --> 00:13:09,469 Is the most important thing in Al's life. 244 00:13:09,471 --> 00:13:11,138 The doctor said this was just a warning, 245 00:13:11,206 --> 00:13:13,140 And he's ok now, but I'm telling you, 246 00:13:13,207 --> 00:13:14,208 It would kill him 247 00:13:14,276 --> 00:13:15,860 If that truck didn't get there. 248 00:13:15,927 --> 00:13:17,812 It's got to be there by Christmas, 249 00:13:17,879 --> 00:13:20,280 And Ray's got to be with it. 250 00:13:20,348 --> 00:13:21,481 Why? 251 00:13:21,483 --> 00:13:22,767 Al's got his reasons. 252 00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:24,584 And if it's that important to Al, 253 00:13:24,652 --> 00:13:25,586 It's gotta be that important 254 00:13:25,654 --> 00:13:27,604 To the people who love him. 255 00:13:27,672 --> 00:13:30,190 Pete, you know that no one but you 256 00:13:30,258 --> 00:13:32,409 Can control Ray for that long a trip. 257 00:13:32,477 --> 00:13:34,078 Al knows that, too. 258 00:13:34,145 --> 00:13:36,113 You're the only one he can depend on. 259 00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:39,466 I suppose one more missed Christmas 260 00:13:39,534 --> 00:13:41,819 Isn't gonna make that much difference. 261 00:13:41,886 --> 00:13:43,854 Oh, Pete. 262 00:13:43,921 --> 00:13:46,273 Yeah? So what are you telling me for, huh? 263 00:13:46,340 --> 00:13:48,308 What do I care? 264 00:13:48,376 --> 00:13:49,676 I'm telling you because 265 00:13:49,744 --> 00:13:51,478 I said we'd spend Christmas together. 266 00:13:51,546 --> 00:13:52,930 That's why. 267 00:13:55,933 --> 00:13:59,003 Mike, I want you to understand that 268 00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:00,004 It would take something 269 00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:01,005 This important 270 00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:03,707 For me to break my promise to you. 271 00:14:05,109 --> 00:14:06,243 You could come Along. 272 00:14:06,311 --> 00:14:08,195 No way. 273 00:14:08,263 --> 00:14:10,831 I can spend Christmas with my friends now. 274 00:14:11,983 --> 00:14:12,933 Yeah. 275 00:14:16,404 --> 00:14:18,339 [ring] 276 00:14:20,475 --> 00:14:22,142 Yeah. Hello, this is 277 00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:23,427 The Van Nuys police department, 278 00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:24,929 Juvenile division. What? 279 00:14:30,535 --> 00:14:32,803 It was just an arrest. 280 00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:35,523 Destruction of private property. 281 00:14:35,590 --> 00:14:37,908 What the hell is the matter with you? 282 00:14:37,976 --> 00:14:41,912 You want to go to jail? You want to be a criminal? 283 00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:43,848 What do you want me to do? 284 00:14:43,915 --> 00:14:46,083 Thank you very much. 285 00:14:50,455 --> 00:14:53,190 And what have you got in the ice chest? 286 00:14:53,258 --> 00:14:54,658 Would you see me off? 287 00:14:54,726 --> 00:14:55,926 Don't worry. It's not beer. 288 00:14:55,993 --> 00:14:57,194 It's enough of my famous chili 289 00:14:57,262 --> 00:14:58,529 To last me for four days. 290 00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:01,432 Or maybe lunch and dinner for two? 291 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,100 What? 292 00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:05,502 What are you talking about? 293 00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:07,171 [honks] 294 00:15:07,238 --> 00:15:08,672 [brakes groan] 295 00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:10,841 Oh, terrific. What's he doing here? 296 00:15:12,293 --> 00:15:14,528 Oh, now, hold on just a second. 297 00:15:14,595 --> 00:15:15,946 This isn't fair. 298 00:15:16,013 --> 00:15:17,331 I'm not going anywhere with you. 299 00:15:17,398 --> 00:15:18,499 Shut up and unhook it. 300 00:15:18,566 --> 00:15:19,950 Is that Mikey up there? 301 00:15:20,017 --> 00:15:22,236 Yeah. We're spending Christmas together. 302 00:15:39,387 --> 00:15:41,355 Get in the back. 303 00:15:41,422 --> 00:15:42,823 Do it. 304 00:15:49,013 --> 00:15:50,581 Get in the truck, Ray. 305 00:15:53,351 --> 00:15:55,986 I said get in, Ray. 306 00:15:56,054 --> 00:15:59,823 Hey, man, don't tell me what to do. 307 00:16:02,827 --> 00:16:06,213 Ray. Get in. 308 00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:17,308 Take care, now. 309 00:16:19,444 --> 00:16:21,512 You're a good man, Pete. 310 00:16:21,579 --> 00:16:22,946 I ain't that good, Al. 311 00:16:23,014 --> 00:16:25,483 I'm just trying to be fair. 312 00:16:25,550 --> 00:16:26,717 We'll get her there for you. 313 00:16:26,784 --> 00:16:27,884 Thanks. You bet. 314 00:16:29,037 --> 00:16:30,420 Merry Christmas. Same to you. 315 00:16:30,488 --> 00:16:32,773 Bye, now. Bye, Pete. 316 00:16:54,245 --> 00:16:57,481 I sure hope those two guys will be ok together. 317 00:17:01,202 --> 00:17:03,603 What an exciting prospect. 318 00:17:03,672 --> 00:17:06,073 A road trip with Mr. Personality. 319 00:17:07,509 --> 00:17:10,694 I know you, man. 22 hours, 4 minutes, and 6 seconds 320 00:17:10,762 --> 00:17:13,697 To Seattle or bust. You gonna stop 321 00:17:13,765 --> 00:17:15,432 Every now and then so we can go to the bathroom? 322 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,001 Get out right now if you want to. 323 00:17:17,068 --> 00:17:18,903 Hey, I'd do it in a second. 324 00:17:18,970 --> 00:17:20,570 All right, do it now. 325 00:17:20,638 --> 00:17:21,571 I'll pull over right here. 326 00:17:21,639 --> 00:17:23,273 Keep driving. 327 00:17:23,341 --> 00:17:24,591 Just say the word. 328 00:17:24,658 --> 00:17:25,609 I said, keep driving, All right? 329 00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:27,878 I don't need you to tell me to keep driving. 330 00:17:27,946 --> 00:17:29,746 Well, la-di-da. 331 00:17:29,814 --> 00:17:32,482 Merry Christmas, one and All. 332 00:17:38,990 --> 00:17:41,926 Hey, Charlotte. Get out here. 333 00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:51,769 Homer Hightower, 334 00:17:51,836 --> 00:17:54,621 What in the blue blazes are you doing up there? 335 00:17:54,689 --> 00:17:57,674 I'm waiting for the spirit of Christmas 336 00:17:57,742 --> 00:18:00,110 To come back to Willow creek, 337 00:18:00,178 --> 00:18:03,063 And I ain't coming down till it's here! 338 00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:08,486 [opera plays] 339 00:18:11,973 --> 00:18:15,375 Oh, Joy. We get to listen to fat people sing. 340 00:18:15,443 --> 00:18:17,644 The porker parade. 341 00:18:23,451 --> 00:18:26,152 Hedwig Stromberg, huh? 342 00:18:27,855 --> 00:18:28,922 This her? 343 00:18:28,990 --> 00:18:29,957 Yeah. 344 00:18:32,493 --> 00:18:34,494 Hey, I'm a son of a gun, man. 345 00:18:34,562 --> 00:18:35,829 She's a dead ringer for Chuck Conners. 346 00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:36,830 Look at that jaw. 347 00:18:36,898 --> 00:18:39,232 That's real funny, Ray. 348 00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:41,501 No. I mean it. Wait a second. Here. 349 00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:46,640 Yeah... 350 00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:50,844 "Hedwig Stromberg, warbling the title role, 351 00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:57,250 Is best known to TV fans as the rifleman." 352 00:18:57,318 --> 00:18:58,351 How about that? 353 00:18:58,419 --> 00:19:01,688 Give me that. What a jerk. 354 00:19:03,808 --> 00:19:05,742 So, what's your story, slim? 355 00:19:05,810 --> 00:19:07,861 You were painting something green 356 00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:09,563 And decided to use your head as a paintbrush? 357 00:19:09,631 --> 00:19:10,664 Ha ha. 358 00:19:13,251 --> 00:19:14,318 You know, a year ago 359 00:19:14,385 --> 00:19:15,652 He had hair down to his shoulders. 360 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,087 A year ago? 361 00:19:17,155 --> 00:19:20,657 Man, I can't even remember that far back. 362 00:19:20,725 --> 00:19:23,811 Yeah. Well, time flies when you're having fun. 363 00:19:26,947 --> 00:19:28,815 Hi. 364 00:19:28,883 --> 00:19:30,067 Hi. 365 00:19:30,135 --> 00:19:31,951 So, what brings you in here? 366 00:19:32,019 --> 00:19:34,238 It was on my way. 367 00:19:36,023 --> 00:19:37,374 Well, what can I get for you? 368 00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:39,543 Wait. Let me take a wild stab in the dark-- 369 00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:40,544 Coffee. 370 00:19:40,612 --> 00:19:43,129 Coffee's fine. 371 00:19:43,197 --> 00:19:44,715 Thought so. 372 00:19:51,272 --> 00:19:53,290 So, they keeping you busy around here? 373 00:19:53,424 --> 00:19:55,209 Not All that busy. 374 00:19:55,276 --> 00:19:57,160 Here you go. 375 00:19:58,696 --> 00:19:59,947 When do you mean? 376 00:20:01,882 --> 00:20:03,149 When do you mean? 377 00:20:05,403 --> 00:20:08,037 I was thinking maybe evenings. 378 00:20:09,407 --> 00:20:11,174 You finally did it. 379 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:16,346 What? 380 00:20:16,414 --> 00:20:17,815 You've only been coming in here 381 00:20:17,882 --> 00:20:20,216 Every other day for the past two months, 382 00:20:20,284 --> 00:20:21,802 Sitting at the same table, 383 00:20:21,869 --> 00:20:24,871 Ordering the same thing-- coffee--from me. 384 00:20:27,058 --> 00:20:28,759 You know, you're just about the shyest man 385 00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:29,793 I think I've ever met. 386 00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:34,264 You divorced? 387 00:20:34,332 --> 00:20:36,016 Yeah. 388 00:20:36,084 --> 00:20:37,418 Thought so. 389 00:20:37,485 --> 00:20:40,471 Got any kids? 390 00:20:40,522 --> 00:20:41,521 Yeah. 391 00:20:41,589 --> 00:20:43,657 I'm raising my teenage son. 392 00:20:43,725 --> 00:20:44,858 Well, you're real sweet. 393 00:20:44,926 --> 00:20:47,277 I've love to go out with you. 394 00:20:47,345 --> 00:20:48,595 You would? 395 00:20:48,663 --> 00:20:50,430 Great. 396 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:05,729 Welcome to beautiful downtown Bakersfield. 397 00:21:05,797 --> 00:21:06,796 Well, Mike, you've never seen 398 00:21:06,864 --> 00:21:08,065 This part of California before. 399 00:21:08,132 --> 00:21:09,066 What do you think? 400 00:21:09,133 --> 00:21:10,350 It's junk. 401 00:21:12,153 --> 00:21:14,921 What a fun trip so far. 402 00:21:14,989 --> 00:21:16,940 [playing hark, the herald angels sing] 403 00:21:22,529 --> 00:21:23,964 Charlotte... 404 00:21:26,567 --> 00:21:28,401 Well, what's wrong with you two? 405 00:21:28,469 --> 00:21:29,469 Are we gonna have 406 00:21:29,536 --> 00:21:31,204 Any Christmas, Charlotte? 407 00:21:31,272 --> 00:21:34,141 Well, of course we are, Sabrina. 408 00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:36,660 Christmas is coming, kids. 409 00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:41,181 The best Christmas this town ever had is on its way. 410 00:21:46,554 --> 00:21:48,572 You made a call back there. 411 00:21:48,639 --> 00:21:49,823 Who'd you call? 412 00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:52,576 I didn't call anybody. I washed up. 413 00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:54,811 Washed up, huh? Are you sure 414 00:21:54,879 --> 00:21:56,613 You weren't talking to my wife? 415 00:21:56,681 --> 00:21:59,082 Ray, I have no intention of ever calling 416 00:21:59,150 --> 00:22:00,184 And talking to your wife. 417 00:22:00,251 --> 00:22:02,118 Well, you better not, 418 00:22:02,187 --> 00:22:03,853 'cause you're on this trip for one reason 419 00:22:03,921 --> 00:22:05,155 And one reason only. 420 00:22:05,173 --> 00:22:06,507 What are you talking about? 421 00:22:06,574 --> 00:22:07,508 Aw, come on. Man, 422 00:22:07,575 --> 00:22:08,509 We're going through Vancouver, and you 423 00:22:08,576 --> 00:22:10,277 Know who lives in Vancouver now. 424 00:22:10,345 --> 00:22:11,645 No, I don't. 425 00:22:11,712 --> 00:22:13,947 Come on, man. You know, 426 00:22:14,015 --> 00:22:14,948 And you just want me to say. 427 00:22:15,016 --> 00:22:15,949 Well, I'm not gonna say, 'cause 428 00:22:16,017 --> 00:22:17,184 That would suit your purposes fine, 429 00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:19,153 Wouldn't it? 'cause you know. 430 00:22:19,220 --> 00:22:20,654 And you know that I know that you know, 431 00:22:20,721 --> 00:22:22,022 'cause that's why you're here. 432 00:22:22,089 --> 00:22:25,075 [laughing] 433 00:22:27,178 --> 00:22:28,278 What's so damn funny? 434 00:22:28,346 --> 00:22:29,279 Ha ha ha! 435 00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:30,647 Jessie's in Vancouver. 436 00:22:30,714 --> 00:22:31,965 Is that what this is All about? 437 00:22:32,033 --> 00:22:33,300 All right. So, you knew it the whole time. 438 00:22:33,368 --> 00:22:34,301 Jessie lives in Vancouver. 439 00:22:34,369 --> 00:22:35,568 Well, that's it, pal. 440 00:22:35,636 --> 00:22:36,636 We're settling this right here and now. 441 00:22:36,704 --> 00:22:38,671 We're pulling off the side of the road! 442 00:22:51,436 --> 00:22:53,970 All right, get out of there! 443 00:22:54,038 --> 00:22:55,972 Come on! Get out of there and fight me. 444 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,407 Get back in the truck, Ray. 445 00:22:57,475 --> 00:22:58,575 Come on out of there! 446 00:22:58,643 --> 00:23:02,545 Look, you're the one who stole Jessie from me. 447 00:23:02,613 --> 00:23:03,546 I'm the one who should want to fight! 448 00:23:03,614 --> 00:23:04,547 Well, then, go right ahead. 449 00:23:04,615 --> 00:23:07,251 It's your lucky day. Free shot, brother. 450 00:23:07,318 --> 00:23:08,752 Get back in the truck, Ray. 451 00:23:08,820 --> 00:23:10,888 No! What's the matter, are you scared? 452 00:23:10,955 --> 00:23:12,589 Are you scared? Is that what it is? 453 00:23:12,657 --> 00:23:14,507 Get back in the truck! Knock it off! 454 00:23:14,575 --> 00:23:15,692 Hey, you! 455 00:23:15,759 --> 00:23:16,710 [engine stalls] 456 00:23:16,777 --> 00:23:17,644 Why, you-- 457 00:23:20,781 --> 00:23:21,715 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 458 00:23:21,782 --> 00:23:22,716 Let go! Leave him alone! 459 00:23:22,783 --> 00:23:24,351 He was trying to steal my car! 460 00:23:24,418 --> 00:23:25,418 I'm calling the police. 461 00:23:25,486 --> 00:23:27,354 Now, just hold on a second. 462 00:23:27,421 --> 00:23:31,291 You get in the truck. Go on. Git! 463 00:23:32,410 --> 00:23:34,010 Look, I'm sorry about All this. 464 00:23:34,078 --> 00:23:36,513 He's my son. We're having some problems, you know? 465 00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:38,365 I wish there would have been some blood. 466 00:23:38,433 --> 00:23:41,018 What were those two fighting about, anyway? 467 00:23:41,085 --> 00:23:44,087 They Always fight. 468 00:23:44,155 --> 00:23:46,089 That one there, he's my dad. 469 00:23:46,157 --> 00:23:47,223 Well... 470 00:23:47,291 --> 00:23:49,976 Solve your problems, why don't you? 471 00:23:51,546 --> 00:23:53,647 Get in the truck. 472 00:23:53,715 --> 00:23:55,282 The other guy's my uncle. 473 00:23:55,350 --> 00:23:57,467 Don't leave the keys in your car anymore. 474 00:23:58,769 --> 00:23:59,987 They're brothers. 475 00:24:01,222 --> 00:24:02,189 Hey! 476 00:24:05,126 --> 00:24:09,629 %% on the feast of Stephen %% 477 00:24:09,697 --> 00:24:14,234 %% when the snow lay round about... %% 478 00:24:14,302 --> 00:24:16,487 Homer! 479 00:24:16,554 --> 00:24:18,171 Ain't there anything we could do 480 00:24:18,238 --> 00:24:20,040 To get you to come down from there? 481 00:24:20,108 --> 00:24:22,876 Doggone it, Charlotte, I don't know. 482 00:24:22,944 --> 00:24:25,195 Leave me Alone. 483 00:24:25,263 --> 00:24:27,097 He's crazy is what I think. 484 00:24:27,164 --> 00:24:30,066 Either he's crazy, or he's right. 485 00:24:30,134 --> 00:24:31,968 No, sir. 486 00:24:32,036 --> 00:24:33,787 He's wrong. 487 00:24:33,854 --> 00:24:36,072 He is dead wrong. 488 00:24:47,384 --> 00:24:48,852 Four ham on whole wheat. 489 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,121 Four cheeseburgers with the works. 490 00:24:51,188 --> 00:24:52,255 Keep an eye on him, Ray. 491 00:24:52,323 --> 00:24:54,458 I'll be right back. I'm gonna wash up. 492 00:25:03,267 --> 00:25:05,418 So, what'd you do, anyway? 493 00:25:07,070 --> 00:25:11,391 I got busted. My friends and I 494 00:25:11,392 --> 00:25:13,843 Were just having some fun, and, uh, 495 00:25:13,911 --> 00:25:14,861 We ended up breaking 496 00:25:14,929 --> 00:25:17,397 A few grocery store windows. 497 00:25:17,464 --> 00:25:18,681 The cops came. 498 00:25:18,749 --> 00:25:21,117 My buddies took off. I got caught. 499 00:25:21,185 --> 00:25:23,353 Then I talked some trash to the cops. 500 00:25:23,421 --> 00:25:25,972 Big deal, right? 501 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:27,590 Right. 502 00:25:39,003 --> 00:25:40,971 That's it. We follow I-5 503 00:25:41,038 --> 00:25:42,272 All the way up to Vancouver. 504 00:25:42,340 --> 00:25:43,573 We cut across at hope 505 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,108 And pick up Canada Route 1. 506 00:25:45,176 --> 00:25:46,443 You see it? Yeah. 507 00:25:46,510 --> 00:25:47,444 Oh, hey, there's Willow creek 508 00:25:47,511 --> 00:25:49,262 Just over the border of Alaska. 509 00:25:55,185 --> 00:25:57,387 This chili is radical, uncle Ray. 510 00:25:57,454 --> 00:25:58,588 Well, it ought to be. 511 00:25:58,656 --> 00:26:00,457 It came in second two years running 512 00:26:00,525 --> 00:26:02,259 In the coast-to-coast chili cook-off. 513 00:26:02,326 --> 00:26:04,327 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 514 00:26:04,395 --> 00:26:05,529 Everybody's got to have 515 00:26:05,596 --> 00:26:07,197 One hidden talent, right? 516 00:26:08,833 --> 00:26:10,099 You know, playing with this map 517 00:26:10,167 --> 00:26:11,735 Is kind of interesting. 518 00:26:11,802 --> 00:26:14,904 Well, it's not that much unlike schoolwork. 519 00:26:14,972 --> 00:26:16,139 That could be interesting, too, 520 00:26:16,207 --> 00:26:17,474 If you'd give it half a Chance. 521 00:26:17,541 --> 00:26:19,325 Ha ha ha! 522 00:26:19,393 --> 00:26:20,627 Ray. 523 00:26:20,695 --> 00:26:23,429 Oh, come on, man. You slay me. "you know, 524 00:26:23,497 --> 00:26:24,965 "it's not that much unlike schoolwork. 525 00:26:25,032 --> 00:26:25,999 "that could be interesting, too, 526 00:26:26,067 --> 00:26:27,617 If you give it half a chance." 527 00:26:27,685 --> 00:26:28,852 [laughs] 528 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,854 You know what he used to do in school? 529 00:26:30,922 --> 00:26:32,355 He used to sit in the back of English class-- 530 00:26:32,423 --> 00:26:35,258 Ray, knock it off. I mean it. 531 00:26:35,326 --> 00:26:36,559 Oh, I suppose I can't say anything 532 00:26:36,627 --> 00:26:38,528 About how you and Chester Featherstorm 533 00:26:38,595 --> 00:26:40,030 Blew the plumbing out of the gym, either, 534 00:26:40,097 --> 00:26:41,631 Can I? Ray. 535 00:26:41,698 --> 00:26:43,266 Man, I tell you, Mikey, 536 00:26:43,334 --> 00:26:45,001 The old man wanted to kill him. 537 00:26:45,069 --> 00:26:47,270 You really blew the plumbing out of the gym? Oh, and-- 538 00:26:47,338 --> 00:26:50,056 Ray, look. I am trying to talk to my kid, ok? 539 00:26:50,123 --> 00:26:51,190 Will you just stay out of it? 540 00:26:51,258 --> 00:26:52,859 Or what? 541 00:26:52,927 --> 00:26:54,560 What are you gonna do, huh? 542 00:26:54,628 --> 00:26:55,561 You want to know 543 00:26:55,629 --> 00:26:56,797 What your problem is, brother? 544 00:26:56,864 --> 00:26:58,098 Your problem is, you want your kid 545 00:26:58,166 --> 00:26:59,132 To be just like you, 546 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,318 Only you mean just like you are now. 547 00:27:02,386 --> 00:27:03,653 You were a half-decent guy 548 00:27:03,721 --> 00:27:04,654 When you were a kid. 549 00:27:04,722 --> 00:27:05,622 Where did you go, man? 550 00:27:08,809 --> 00:27:10,177 I didn't steal Jessie from you. 551 00:27:10,244 --> 00:27:11,478 You bored her to death, and if that 552 00:27:11,546 --> 00:27:12,478 Don't make you want to fight me, 553 00:27:12,546 --> 00:27:14,564 Then the hell with you. 554 00:27:14,632 --> 00:27:17,133 I'm gonna get some sleep. Look out. 555 00:27:20,070 --> 00:27:21,838 You're hopeless. 556 00:27:27,161 --> 00:27:29,162 Jessie: You're just about the shyest man 557 00:27:29,230 --> 00:27:32,315 I think I ever met. I'd love to go out with you. 558 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,451 Ray: I didn't steal Jessie from you. 559 00:27:34,519 --> 00:27:36,970 No. You bored her to death. 560 00:27:37,038 --> 00:27:38,989 Have you heard the one about-- 561 00:27:39,056 --> 00:27:40,390 Jessie: Ha! I don't think you better tell any more. 562 00:27:40,458 --> 00:27:42,692 Ray: Do you know where you find a turtle with no legs? 563 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:43,860 Jessie: No. Where? 564 00:27:43,927 --> 00:27:45,362 Ray: Same place you put him down. 565 00:27:45,429 --> 00:27:47,063 [Jessie laughing] 566 00:27:50,868 --> 00:27:52,018 Double cheeseburger. 567 00:27:52,085 --> 00:27:53,386 That's right here, ma'am. 568 00:27:53,453 --> 00:27:55,555 And potato skins? 569 00:27:56,690 --> 00:27:59,075 Steak sandwich for Pete. 570 00:27:59,143 --> 00:28:00,527 And the chicken sandwich 571 00:28:00,595 --> 00:28:02,028 Must be yours. Yeah. 572 00:28:02,096 --> 00:28:03,129 Manuel didn't want to 573 00:28:03,197 --> 00:28:04,564 Cut the crusts off. I think it 574 00:28:04,632 --> 00:28:05,632 Offended his manhood 575 00:28:05,700 --> 00:28:07,200 Or something. Oh! Ouch! 576 00:28:07,268 --> 00:28:08,668 Tell him thanks. 577 00:28:12,856 --> 00:28:14,073 Hey... 578 00:28:17,210 --> 00:28:19,712 Stick out your little finger. 579 00:28:19,780 --> 00:28:21,798 Jessie: What? 580 00:28:21,865 --> 00:28:23,266 Stick out your little finger. 581 00:28:24,602 --> 00:28:25,902 All right. 582 00:28:29,289 --> 00:28:32,475 Hello, I am from Mars. 583 00:28:32,543 --> 00:28:33,876 Martians are like 584 00:28:33,944 --> 00:28:35,295 Earth people in every respect, 585 00:28:35,362 --> 00:28:37,563 Except that their reproductive systems 586 00:28:37,631 --> 00:28:40,250 Are contained in their little fingers, 587 00:28:40,317 --> 00:28:42,352 And we've just made love. 588 00:28:42,419 --> 00:28:44,037 [laughs] you're so bad. 589 00:28:44,105 --> 00:28:45,588 You're so bad. 590 00:28:45,656 --> 00:28:47,257 Come on, Pete. Lighten up. 591 00:28:47,324 --> 00:28:50,459 Such a party pooper. Jeez. 592 00:28:53,614 --> 00:28:55,048 Hey, Mikey... 593 00:28:56,167 --> 00:28:58,401 What do you say, huh? 594 00:28:59,837 --> 00:29:04,841 No way. Reno's 80 Miles out of our way. 595 00:29:08,079 --> 00:29:09,429 He'd freak. 596 00:29:12,533 --> 00:29:14,668 Ha ha ha! 597 00:29:16,036 --> 00:29:17,337 All right. 598 00:29:26,047 --> 00:29:29,949 %% oh, jingle bells, jingle bells %% 599 00:29:30,017 --> 00:29:31,618 %% jingle All the way %% 600 00:29:31,685 --> 00:29:34,854 Hey, homer, ain't this swell? 601 00:29:34,922 --> 00:29:37,624 Doesn't this just make you want to bust your buttons 602 00:29:37,691 --> 00:29:40,042 For the spirit of Christmas? 603 00:29:40,110 --> 00:29:42,378 %% oh, what fun it is to ride %% 604 00:29:42,446 --> 00:29:44,547 %% in a one-horse open sleigh, hey %% 605 00:29:44,615 --> 00:29:46,549 %% jingle bells, jingle bells... %% 606 00:29:46,534 --> 00:29:47,951 Cecil, don't do this. 607 00:29:48,018 --> 00:29:49,669 As soon as that pump main gets built, 608 00:29:49,753 --> 00:29:51,321 Everybody gets back to work. 609 00:29:51,388 --> 00:29:53,856 We don't have a dime left to our name. 610 00:29:53,924 --> 00:29:57,327 But couldn't you wait a few more days--till Christmas? 611 00:29:57,395 --> 00:29:59,296 I got a feeling. 612 00:29:59,363 --> 00:30:01,597 Daddy, please. 613 00:30:01,665 --> 00:30:05,051 All right, we'll leave after Christmas. 614 00:30:05,119 --> 00:30:08,771 %% o'er the fields we go, laughing All the way %% 615 00:30:08,839 --> 00:30:12,908 %% bells on bobtails ring, making spirits bright %% 616 00:30:12,976 --> 00:30:15,011 %% what fun it is to ride and sing %% 617 00:30:15,129 --> 00:30:16,545 You are depressing 618 00:30:16,613 --> 00:30:18,447 Everyone in this town! 619 00:30:18,515 --> 00:30:20,767 Just send me up a pup tent. 620 00:30:20,834 --> 00:30:24,120 Looks like I might be here for a long time. 621 00:30:24,188 --> 00:30:26,840 Aw, homer, just shut up. 622 00:30:26,907 --> 00:30:28,441 %% jingle bells, jingle bells... %% 623 00:30:32,363 --> 00:30:34,030 Ray: What the hell is he doing? 624 00:30:34,098 --> 00:30:35,281 What's going on? 625 00:30:35,349 --> 00:30:36,799 Ray: Take a look at this guy. 626 00:30:45,693 --> 00:30:46,659 Pull her over. 627 00:30:54,352 --> 00:30:56,336 Mikey, there's a box of flares in the side compartment. 628 00:30:56,404 --> 00:30:58,805 Get out half a dozen. 629 00:30:58,873 --> 00:31:01,624 Breaker, breaker, we got a hit-and-run 630 00:31:01,692 --> 00:31:03,893 Going east on I-80, 631 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,062 About 5 Miles outside of Reno. 632 00:31:06,129 --> 00:31:08,315 Ah, forget it. We got a Smokey on the scene. 633 00:31:08,382 --> 00:31:09,798 Appreciate it. We're gone. 634 00:31:09,866 --> 00:31:11,234 You ok? 635 00:31:12,369 --> 00:31:14,737 Watch your head. 636 00:31:14,804 --> 00:31:16,890 Easy. Are you sure you're All right? 637 00:31:18,642 --> 00:31:19,909 Nevada? 638 00:31:21,879 --> 00:31:23,245 Where the hell are we? 639 00:31:23,313 --> 00:31:25,197 You're just outside Reno. 640 00:31:28,986 --> 00:31:31,437 You drove this truck to Reno? Man, 641 00:31:31,505 --> 00:31:32,672 Don't you know we're on a tight schedule? 642 00:31:32,740 --> 00:31:33,673 Don't you ever think 643 00:31:33,741 --> 00:31:34,841 Of anything but yourself? 644 00:31:34,909 --> 00:31:37,760 Lighten up! What's going-- what's happening here? 645 00:31:38,895 --> 00:31:41,931 Lighten up, man. Besides, I think 646 00:31:41,999 --> 00:31:44,183 Something in your pretty truck might be broken. 647 00:31:46,270 --> 00:31:48,771 I think it's something in the hydraulics, really. 648 00:31:48,839 --> 00:31:51,808 I can get to it in a couple hours, Pete. 649 00:31:51,875 --> 00:31:53,343 Well, if that's the best you can do. 650 00:31:53,410 --> 00:31:54,827 Sorry. That's it. 651 00:31:54,895 --> 00:31:56,179 All right, red. 652 00:32:08,709 --> 00:32:10,377 Toss me down my bag. 653 00:32:18,335 --> 00:32:20,036 Look, we're gonna be here a while, 654 00:32:20,104 --> 00:32:22,055 So I'm gonna get a shower. 655 00:32:22,122 --> 00:32:24,340 I want you to stay in the truck. 656 00:32:24,408 --> 00:32:26,326 Both of you. Pete. 657 00:32:28,062 --> 00:32:30,463 Listen, uh... 658 00:32:30,530 --> 00:32:33,850 I've been thinking about what you said. 659 00:32:33,917 --> 00:32:35,468 Well, you're right. I'm a selfish guy, 660 00:32:35,536 --> 00:32:38,921 And I'm sorry. I really mean it. 661 00:32:51,702 --> 00:32:53,536 Look... 662 00:32:55,405 --> 00:32:57,724 No truck driver wants to be seen in Reno 663 00:32:57,792 --> 00:33:00,093 With a kid with green hair. 664 00:33:02,396 --> 00:33:05,097 I've got something for it in my bag, All right? 665 00:33:09,202 --> 00:33:10,670 Rock it. 666 00:33:10,738 --> 00:33:12,004 To the Max! 667 00:33:12,072 --> 00:33:15,425 %% three is my lucky number %% 668 00:33:16,827 --> 00:33:22,198 %% somehow I know this one's right %% 669 00:33:22,266 --> 00:33:24,867 [whistles] that's some outfit. 670 00:33:24,935 --> 00:33:26,369 What's the matter cowboy, 671 00:33:26,437 --> 00:33:28,438 Don't you like Santa Claus? 672 00:33:28,506 --> 00:33:29,872 No, not especially. 673 00:33:29,940 --> 00:33:31,874 How about a designer water for me 674 00:33:31,942 --> 00:33:34,360 And a soda pop for my father. 675 00:33:34,428 --> 00:33:35,678 Cute. 676 00:33:35,746 --> 00:33:38,514 %% tried hard to forget her %% 677 00:33:38,581 --> 00:33:43,619 %% could not get her out of my mind %% 678 00:33:43,687 --> 00:33:46,489 %% All my friends, they warned me %% 679 00:33:46,556 --> 00:33:49,158 %% but they never met her %% 680 00:33:49,226 --> 00:33:53,062 %% if they ever did, they'd know why %% 681 00:33:54,197 --> 00:33:55,598 Just give it All to me in twenties. 682 00:33:55,666 --> 00:33:58,584 I like a nice, big, fat roll of bills. 683 00:34:00,654 --> 00:34:03,155 [ring] 684 00:34:03,223 --> 00:34:05,257 [ring] 685 00:34:07,510 --> 00:34:08,510 Jessie. 686 00:34:08,578 --> 00:34:10,446 Hey, uncle Ray. 687 00:34:10,514 --> 00:34:11,598 Yeah. 688 00:34:11,665 --> 00:34:13,666 Did you like my grandfather? 689 00:34:13,734 --> 00:34:15,268 I mean, my dad talks about him 690 00:34:15,336 --> 00:34:17,236 Like he was a God or something. 691 00:34:17,304 --> 00:34:21,724 He had Pete and I pegged from the time we were babies. 692 00:34:21,791 --> 00:34:25,094 Good boy, bad boy. 693 00:34:30,985 --> 00:34:35,321 Yep. Our father made an adult out of your father 694 00:34:35,322 --> 00:34:37,623 By the time he was 12. 695 00:34:37,691 --> 00:34:40,910 I guess he just figured I was a screw-up, so... 696 00:34:42,429 --> 00:34:45,631 Well, I guess I didn't disappoint him any, huh? 697 00:34:47,767 --> 00:34:48,935 I guess that's why 698 00:34:49,002 --> 00:34:51,003 You and me get Along so good. 699 00:34:51,071 --> 00:34:53,139 We both got father trouble. 700 00:34:54,774 --> 00:34:57,543 Yeah. Well, father trouble usually 701 00:34:57,610 --> 00:35:00,730 Has two sides to it. What's yours? 702 00:35:00,797 --> 00:35:03,332 He doesn't care about me. 703 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:04,300 That's All. 704 00:35:04,367 --> 00:35:06,101 That's All. 705 00:35:06,270 --> 00:35:07,786 He didn't care about my mom, either, 706 00:35:07,854 --> 00:35:09,722 And that's how come she went away. 707 00:35:13,010 --> 00:35:14,494 What's his side of the story? 708 00:35:14,561 --> 00:35:15,495 How should I know? 709 00:35:15,562 --> 00:35:17,162 He's never even home most of the time. 710 00:35:20,267 --> 00:35:22,818 I hate him, and he hates me. 711 00:35:24,171 --> 00:35:26,155 [man laughing] 712 00:35:35,899 --> 00:35:38,701 Well, what do you know about that? 713 00:35:38,785 --> 00:35:40,786 The Guy from the hit-and-run. 714 00:35:49,496 --> 00:35:51,814 Excuse me, but... 715 00:35:51,881 --> 00:35:53,900 Do either of you gentlemen 716 00:35:54,001 --> 00:35:56,502 Happen to drive a gray Lincoln? 717 00:36:02,542 --> 00:36:04,543 Who wants to know? 718 00:36:09,282 --> 00:36:12,401 %% three is my lucky number %% 719 00:36:14,471 --> 00:36:19,625 %% somehow I know this one's right %% 720 00:36:19,692 --> 00:36:23,396 %% three is my lucky number %% 721 00:36:24,764 --> 00:36:28,734 %% her kiss told me so last night %% 722 00:36:30,170 --> 00:36:33,672 %% three is my lucky number %% 723 00:36:35,976 --> 00:36:39,678 %% two bridges I have crossed %% 724 00:36:41,214 --> 00:36:44,883 %% three is my lucky number %% 725 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:50,189 %% two times before I had known %% 726 00:36:51,875 --> 00:36:54,410 %% met her last Sunday %% 727 00:36:54,477 --> 00:36:57,146 %% tried hard to forget her %% 728 00:36:57,213 --> 00:37:01,083 %% could not get her out of my mind %% 729 00:37:02,619 --> 00:37:05,054 %% All my friends, they warned me %% 730 00:37:05,121 --> 00:37:07,823 %% but they never met her %% 731 00:37:07,891 --> 00:37:13,095 %% if they ever did, they'd know why %% 732 00:37:13,163 --> 00:37:16,933 %% three is my lucky number %% 733 00:37:18,518 --> 00:37:21,753 %% three is my lucky number %% 734 00:37:21,821 --> 00:37:23,622 Yeah! 735 00:37:23,690 --> 00:37:30,712 %% three is my lucky number %% 736 00:37:36,236 --> 00:37:39,087 Well, it All checks out. They found 737 00:37:39,155 --> 00:37:40,956 Paint from the hit- and-run on the Lincoln. 738 00:37:41,024 --> 00:37:43,108 Great. Terrific. 739 00:37:43,176 --> 00:37:44,660 Now will you let them go? 740 00:37:44,728 --> 00:37:46,779 So you can bring Christmas 741 00:37:46,597 --> 00:37:47,797 To the frozen north? 742 00:37:47,864 --> 00:37:49,298 Have I got that right? 743 00:37:49,365 --> 00:37:51,601 Yeah. 744 00:37:51,668 --> 00:37:53,736 "heap on more wood. The wind is chill. 745 00:37:53,803 --> 00:37:55,538 "but let it whistle as it will. 746 00:37:55,606 --> 00:37:58,173 We'll keep our Christmas merry still." 747 00:37:58,241 --> 00:37:59,726 Ain't he a pistol? 748 00:37:59,793 --> 00:38:02,761 Sir Walter Scott made that up. 749 00:38:02,829 --> 00:38:07,132 Harv, shuffle these tough guys out the door, 750 00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:11,304 And don't Jack around in my precinct anymore. 751 00:38:12,439 --> 00:38:15,424 I made that up. 752 00:38:29,739 --> 00:38:31,623 Get in the truck. 753 00:38:38,765 --> 00:38:40,215 Well, tie your darn fool brother 754 00:38:40,284 --> 00:38:41,684 To the fender if you have to. 755 00:38:41,735 --> 00:38:43,769 I don't know if we can make it there by Christmas Eve. 756 00:38:43,836 --> 00:38:45,588 Now, Pete, you're the only one that can do this for me. 757 00:38:45,656 --> 00:38:47,022 I'm counting on you. 758 00:38:47,090 --> 00:38:48,891 Well, you know I'll do everything I can, Al. 759 00:38:48,909 --> 00:38:50,326 It's just more lost time. 760 00:38:50,394 --> 00:38:51,711 The question is, how are you? 761 00:38:51,778 --> 00:38:53,212 You sound weak. 762 00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:54,213 Of course I'm weak! 763 00:38:54,281 --> 00:38:56,482 They won't even let me get out of bed! 764 00:38:56,550 --> 00:38:58,367 Well, they're right. You stay there. 765 00:38:58,435 --> 00:39:00,035 Listen to them. 766 00:39:00,103 --> 00:39:02,338 Take care of yourself, Al. 767 00:39:02,405 --> 00:39:04,290 I'll talk to you. Bye. 768 00:39:07,144 --> 00:39:08,076 Mr. Bensinger. 769 00:39:08,178 --> 00:39:09,177 Yeah. 770 00:39:09,245 --> 00:39:10,879 Are you related to those two? 771 00:39:10,947 --> 00:39:12,715 Not really, turtle. 772 00:39:12,782 --> 00:39:15,267 Ray and Pete's dad was my first partner 773 00:39:15,335 --> 00:39:17,919 When I came here from Alaska. 774 00:39:17,987 --> 00:39:21,090 He was Also the best friend I ever had. 775 00:39:21,157 --> 00:39:22,825 Ever had? 776 00:39:22,893 --> 00:39:26,779 Yeah. Old Jim died when the boys were teenagers. 777 00:39:26,846 --> 00:39:28,965 Did a pretty good job of bringing up Pete, 778 00:39:29,032 --> 00:39:30,499 But he really didn't have any idea 779 00:39:30,567 --> 00:39:32,101 What to do with Ray. 780 00:39:32,169 --> 00:39:33,419 He knew Pete was gonna be All right, 781 00:39:33,487 --> 00:39:35,087 But Ray... He couldn't get him 782 00:39:35,155 --> 00:39:37,223 To sit still for two minutes. 783 00:39:37,290 --> 00:39:38,924 Anyway, I promised him 784 00:39:38,992 --> 00:39:40,442 That I'd do my best with Ray 785 00:39:40,510 --> 00:39:43,295 To help him grow up to be a good man. 786 00:39:43,297 --> 00:39:45,547 That's about it, turtle. 787 00:39:45,615 --> 00:39:47,182 What's in that truck, anyway? 788 00:39:47,250 --> 00:39:49,802 Uh-uh-uh. Don't you know 789 00:39:49,869 --> 00:39:52,271 That curiosity killed the cat? 790 00:40:04,834 --> 00:40:07,669 What happened to your hair? 791 00:40:07,737 --> 00:40:09,238 Yeah, don't get your hopes up. 792 00:40:09,306 --> 00:40:12,141 I'm dyeing it purple as soon as we get to Willow creek. 793 00:40:22,452 --> 00:40:24,103 Pete: You're awful quiet tonight. 794 00:40:24,171 --> 00:40:25,003 Jessie: Am I? 795 00:40:26,322 --> 00:40:28,123 Something wrong? 796 00:40:28,191 --> 00:40:29,492 No. 797 00:40:31,928 --> 00:40:33,729 Come on, Jess. 798 00:40:35,098 --> 00:40:37,866 Talk to me. What's up? 799 00:40:39,102 --> 00:40:41,103 I was thinking about how sad it is 800 00:40:41,171 --> 00:40:43,739 That everybody can't just find 801 00:40:43,773 --> 00:40:45,407 The right person and be happy. 802 00:40:45,475 --> 00:40:46,776 What does that mean? 803 00:40:48,528 --> 00:40:50,663 I told myself that what I needed 804 00:40:50,764 --> 00:40:52,798 Was a strong, sweet guy in my life. 805 00:40:52,866 --> 00:40:54,716 You know? 806 00:40:54,784 --> 00:40:57,319 The kind of guy you are. 807 00:40:58,654 --> 00:41:00,906 That's what I told myself. 808 00:41:03,309 --> 00:41:05,277 You shouldn't fall in love with me, Pete. 809 00:41:05,345 --> 00:41:09,448 I'm Already in love with you, Jessie. 810 00:41:12,769 --> 00:41:14,437 What are you trying to tell me? 811 00:41:14,504 --> 00:41:17,606 I like you. I mean... 812 00:41:17,674 --> 00:41:18,774 Maybe I even love you, 813 00:41:18,842 --> 00:41:20,860 I'm just--I'm not in love with you. 814 00:41:20,928 --> 00:41:23,195 I'm just--I'm not in love with you. 815 00:41:23,263 --> 00:41:24,930 I'm not in love with you. 816 00:41:24,998 --> 00:41:26,598 Not in love with you. 817 00:41:47,654 --> 00:41:49,522 [harmonica music] 818 00:42:21,655 --> 00:42:23,822 Come on, mayor. 819 00:42:23,890 --> 00:42:27,259 You're supposed to keep smiling. 820 00:42:27,327 --> 00:42:29,761 Let the rest of us be depressed. 821 00:42:31,664 --> 00:42:35,067 I wonder if homer knew somehow. 822 00:42:35,135 --> 00:42:37,035 Knew what? 823 00:42:45,178 --> 00:42:48,681 It's from overland lumber. 824 00:42:48,748 --> 00:42:50,733 I was going to announce it at the meeting today, 825 00:42:50,801 --> 00:42:53,168 But I didn't have the heart. 826 00:42:58,241 --> 00:43:00,526 Mayor... 827 00:43:00,593 --> 00:43:04,313 You got to wait till after Christmas 828 00:43:04,380 --> 00:43:05,864 To tell the people. 829 00:43:09,836 --> 00:43:11,970 They were our last hope, Charlotte. 830 00:43:15,925 --> 00:43:19,060 I guess there isn't much left for us here, is there? 831 00:43:41,568 --> 00:43:44,653 Can I ask you a question? 832 00:43:44,720 --> 00:43:46,321 Ask away. 833 00:43:48,792 --> 00:43:52,060 How come you liked your father and Ray didn't? 834 00:43:53,897 --> 00:43:58,116 [sighs] I guess-- I guess I understood 835 00:43:58,184 --> 00:43:59,401 How he wanted us to turn out. 836 00:43:59,469 --> 00:44:01,237 You mean like you? 837 00:44:01,304 --> 00:44:03,405 Well, he's got you there, ace. 838 00:44:06,977 --> 00:44:09,178 Because there's only one good father 839 00:44:09,246 --> 00:44:11,030 I can think of. 840 00:44:11,098 --> 00:44:13,031 And he ain't even a father. 841 00:44:14,317 --> 00:44:16,068 Yeah. Who's that? 842 00:44:16,136 --> 00:44:19,605 You. What? 843 00:44:21,441 --> 00:44:24,643 Are you out of your tiny little mind? 844 00:44:24,711 --> 00:44:26,478 Listen, I'm not anybody's father, 845 00:44:26,546 --> 00:44:29,047 And I don't want to be anybody's father, All right? 846 00:44:29,115 --> 00:44:30,148 That's your father. If you don't like him, 847 00:44:30,217 --> 00:44:32,134 That's too damn bad. 848 00:44:39,542 --> 00:44:41,143 What are you doing? 849 00:44:48,184 --> 00:44:49,751 Pete! 850 00:44:51,687 --> 00:44:54,239 Aw, come on, man! 851 00:44:56,275 --> 00:44:59,277 Pete, for crying out loud. 852 00:44:59,345 --> 00:45:00,295 Where in the hell are you going? 853 00:45:00,363 --> 00:45:02,481 Come on! Get back in the truck. 854 00:45:04,617 --> 00:45:07,185 What is the matter with you? 855 00:45:07,253 --> 00:45:09,004 What is your problem? 856 00:45:09,172 --> 00:45:12,391 Al says that load's got to be there by Christmas. 857 00:45:12,459 --> 00:45:15,026 For some reason, you got to be there with it. 858 00:45:15,094 --> 00:45:18,147 Now my kid wants you for his father. 859 00:45:18,248 --> 00:45:19,715 Well, damn it All, Ray. 860 00:45:19,782 --> 00:45:22,668 It's All yours, whether you want it or not. 861 00:45:22,736 --> 00:45:24,887 I quit. 862 00:45:45,425 --> 00:45:48,710 Well, what are we going to do, uncle Ray? 863 00:45:48,812 --> 00:45:50,980 Hang out. 864 00:45:51,047 --> 00:45:52,781 But he quit. 865 00:45:55,601 --> 00:45:57,586 Well, aren't we going to make him come back? 866 00:45:57,654 --> 00:46:00,205 It's a free country, isn't it? 867 00:46:00,273 --> 00:46:01,607 Yeah, well, 868 00:46:01,674 --> 00:46:04,709 Isn't this stuff supposed to get to Willow creek? 869 00:46:04,828 --> 00:46:06,328 Do you care? 870 00:46:08,748 --> 00:46:10,633 No. 871 00:46:10,700 --> 00:46:12,667 Well, there you go. 872 00:46:12,735 --> 00:46:14,620 There I go what? 873 00:46:14,688 --> 00:46:16,221 He's the one who wants the load 874 00:46:16,289 --> 00:46:17,839 To get there by Christmas. 875 00:46:17,908 --> 00:46:19,424 Now, you don't care, and I don't care. 876 00:46:19,492 --> 00:46:21,042 He's the only one who does care. 877 00:46:21,110 --> 00:46:23,561 He knows that, and we know that... 878 00:46:23,629 --> 00:46:24,597 So sooner or later, 879 00:46:24,664 --> 00:46:26,932 He'll get up off that log, 880 00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:30,469 Hop in the truck, and finish his job. 881 00:46:30,537 --> 00:46:32,404 He Always does. 882 00:46:56,863 --> 00:46:59,531 Ray: So, uh... 883 00:46:59,598 --> 00:47:02,434 What? Are you gonna get me to marry you? 884 00:47:06,255 --> 00:47:07,189 Hi. 885 00:47:09,142 --> 00:47:11,576 Oh, hey. 886 00:47:11,644 --> 00:47:13,278 Where's Pete? 887 00:47:13,346 --> 00:47:15,214 I don't know. 888 00:47:15,281 --> 00:47:17,299 You don't know? 889 00:47:17,333 --> 00:47:19,234 I broke up with him. 890 00:47:20,870 --> 00:47:23,605 So you come out to this joint, 891 00:47:23,673 --> 00:47:26,308 Hoping to find some lucky guy tonight, huh? 892 00:47:26,375 --> 00:47:27,609 Maybe. 893 00:47:28,979 --> 00:47:30,262 Maybe. 894 00:47:42,008 --> 00:47:43,942 You know, if I had any sense, 895 00:47:44,010 --> 00:47:46,811 I'd get Pete to marry me. 896 00:47:46,879 --> 00:47:49,414 He loves me, and he's real safe. 897 00:47:51,650 --> 00:47:53,718 Oh, and what, I'm dangerous, huh? 898 00:47:53,786 --> 00:47:54,786 Yeah. 899 00:47:54,854 --> 00:47:56,121 Yes. 900 00:47:56,189 --> 00:47:57,655 Ha ha ha! Yeah. 901 00:47:58,824 --> 00:48:00,925 But there are some things, 902 00:48:00,994 --> 00:48:04,162 Your brain says uh-uh, don't do it, 903 00:48:04,230 --> 00:48:07,232 But your heart says go for it. 904 00:48:07,300 --> 00:48:09,434 Yeah. 905 00:48:09,502 --> 00:48:11,769 Sometimes that hurts nice people. 906 00:48:15,174 --> 00:48:16,541 So, uh... 907 00:48:17,743 --> 00:48:20,278 What? Are you going to get me to marry you? 908 00:48:22,081 --> 00:48:23,665 Maybe. 909 00:48:23,733 --> 00:48:26,001 You're serious, aren't you? 910 00:48:26,068 --> 00:48:27,403 Maybe. 911 00:48:27,470 --> 00:48:28,537 Hmm! 912 00:48:28,605 --> 00:48:31,056 [horn blares] 913 00:48:31,123 --> 00:48:33,625 I don't want to hear one damn word. 914 00:48:43,269 --> 00:48:45,637 Breaker, breaker. Any of you 18-wheelers 915 00:48:45,705 --> 00:48:47,372 Heading north and got your ears on? 916 00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:48,973 You got the wild man here. 917 00:48:49,041 --> 00:48:51,443 Smokeys is up awful early this morning, 918 00:48:51,511 --> 00:48:52,794 And they're setting up toward those hills 919 00:48:52,862 --> 00:48:54,463 Just over the state line. 920 00:48:54,531 --> 00:48:56,598 Got a line of trucks over there 2-Miles long, 921 00:48:56,666 --> 00:48:58,967 So you got a long wait. I ain't lying. 922 00:48:59,035 --> 00:49:02,404 Better bring your lunch or your girlfriend. Ha ha! 923 00:49:02,471 --> 00:49:03,538 I'm gone. 924 00:49:03,606 --> 00:49:05,023 Radio deejay: Good morning, L.A. 925 00:49:05,091 --> 00:49:06,357 What a way to start the day, huh? 926 00:49:06,425 --> 00:49:07,693 They'll still trying to clear up 927 00:49:07,761 --> 00:49:09,360 That five-banger over on the eastbound Hollywood. 928 00:49:09,428 --> 00:49:11,446 Very slow going All the way up to the interchange, 929 00:49:11,514 --> 00:49:12,780 And it looks like an even bigger mess 930 00:49:12,848 --> 00:49:14,249 On both sides of the Ventura. 931 00:49:14,317 --> 00:49:15,884 Maybe they're using it for a parking lot 932 00:49:15,951 --> 00:49:17,035 For last-minute Christmas shoppers. 933 00:49:17,103 --> 00:49:18,102 That's right, folks! 934 00:49:18,170 --> 00:49:19,671 Only two more shopping days till Christmas 935 00:49:19,739 --> 00:49:21,506 This is KSLY country-wide. 936 00:50:00,496 --> 00:50:03,064 [chuckles] I caught you. 937 00:50:03,132 --> 00:50:04,199 What? 938 00:50:04,267 --> 00:50:05,267 Tapping your foot. 939 00:50:05,334 --> 00:50:06,434 You were just tapping your foot 940 00:50:06,502 --> 00:50:07,602 To my music just now. 941 00:50:07,670 --> 00:50:08,603 I was not. 942 00:50:08,671 --> 00:50:09,604 You were, too! 943 00:50:09,672 --> 00:50:11,105 I was not. 944 00:50:11,174 --> 00:50:12,974 [chuckles] you're lying. 945 00:50:21,217 --> 00:50:22,651 Hey! Stop that. 946 00:50:22,718 --> 00:50:25,204 We are not going anywhere with you. 947 00:50:25,271 --> 00:50:26,672 Couple of college girls 948 00:50:26,739 --> 00:50:29,207 Doing research on the cowboy mentality. 949 00:50:29,275 --> 00:50:32,160 You see, honey, part of the cowboy mentality 950 00:50:31,978 --> 00:50:33,711 Is the code of the west. 951 00:50:33,779 --> 00:50:36,682 That means that if we buy you breakfast, 952 00:50:36,749 --> 00:50:38,851 We get something in return. 953 00:50:38,918 --> 00:50:40,853 We shouldn't have even approached you. 954 00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:42,287 Come on, Laurie. 955 00:50:43,756 --> 00:50:45,156 Ouch! 956 00:50:45,224 --> 00:50:46,658 Excuse me. Ladies, 957 00:50:46,726 --> 00:50:49,228 Are these two pinheads bothering you? 958 00:50:49,295 --> 00:50:50,162 Yes. Yes. 959 00:50:50,229 --> 00:50:52,631 Who you calling pinheads? 960 00:50:52,698 --> 00:50:54,299 We're steppin' outside. 961 00:50:59,606 --> 00:51:00,972 Get him, uncle Ray. 962 00:51:09,965 --> 00:51:12,333 [laughs] 963 00:51:27,082 --> 00:51:28,983 [girls laugh] 964 00:51:31,588 --> 00:51:34,055 Here, I'll buy your breakfast. 965 00:51:34,124 --> 00:51:35,908 Would you girls be a little more selective 966 00:51:35,975 --> 00:51:38,093 Who you take up with? 967 00:51:39,412 --> 00:51:40,712 Take care. 968 00:51:51,357 --> 00:51:55,844 You wouldn't have done that in a million years. 969 00:51:55,911 --> 00:51:57,679 I'm through talking to you. 970 00:52:02,951 --> 00:52:03,818 [ring] 971 00:52:05,288 --> 00:52:06,154 Hello? 972 00:52:07,290 --> 00:52:08,556 Hello? 973 00:52:08,624 --> 00:52:09,491 Jessie? 974 00:52:12,295 --> 00:52:15,062 Jessie, am I glad you answered the phone. 975 00:52:15,130 --> 00:52:16,998 I've been so worried about you, baby. 976 00:52:17,065 --> 00:52:19,168 What do you want, Ray? 977 00:52:19,235 --> 00:52:21,486 What do I want? 978 00:52:21,553 --> 00:52:23,522 Well, I'm your husband. What do you think I... 979 00:52:25,825 --> 00:52:29,761 Look, I-I just want to talk to you, baby. 980 00:52:29,829 --> 00:52:31,597 You doing All right? 981 00:52:31,731 --> 00:52:33,264 Don't call me again. 982 00:52:36,235 --> 00:52:37,151 Je-- 983 00:52:37,153 --> 00:52:38,219 [dial tone] 984 00:52:43,643 --> 00:52:47,829 %% Lord, what makes me so restless? %% 985 00:52:49,531 --> 00:52:53,201 %% why can't I stay where I belong? %% 986 00:52:54,754 --> 00:52:59,124 %% I kissed her good-bye at breakfast %% 987 00:53:00,593 --> 00:53:04,446 %% tonight I'll be dinin' Alone %% 988 00:53:05,848 --> 00:53:08,649 %% I'm rollin' like a tumbleweed %% 989 00:53:08,717 --> 00:53:11,637 %% ain't got no roots to hold me down %% 990 00:53:11,704 --> 00:53:14,656 %% I'm rollin' like a tumbleweed %% 991 00:53:14,724 --> 00:53:17,024 %% movin' on %% 992 00:53:20,596 --> 00:53:23,948 %% stayin' Alone, it's not easy %% 993 00:53:25,385 --> 00:53:29,337 %% when I get this feelin' inside %% 994 00:53:31,540 --> 00:53:36,143 %% everything she does is to please me %% 995 00:53:36,211 --> 00:53:40,415 %% but it's so hard to stay satisfied %% 996 00:53:42,718 --> 00:53:44,919 %% rollin' like a tumbleweed %% 997 00:53:48,223 --> 00:53:51,276 %% rollin' like a tumbleweed %% 998 00:53:51,344 --> 00:53:52,961 Well, are you, or aren't you? 999 00:53:56,148 --> 00:53:58,950 I think maybe you better sit down. 1000 00:54:06,375 --> 00:54:07,625 Yeah. 1001 00:54:15,001 --> 00:54:17,352 Is it that terrible a prospect? 1002 00:54:17,419 --> 00:54:21,206 Look, um... 1003 00:54:21,273 --> 00:54:22,874 Jessie. 1004 00:54:22,942 --> 00:54:25,160 Look, baby, I'm a million Miles away 1005 00:54:25,228 --> 00:54:28,363 From--from being an adult myself, 1006 00:54:28,431 --> 00:54:29,331 You know? 1007 00:54:30,933 --> 00:54:34,552 What am I gonna do with a kid? 1008 00:54:34,620 --> 00:54:35,854 Huh? 1009 00:54:39,992 --> 00:54:41,910 Look, I said when we first got married-- 1010 00:54:41,977 --> 00:54:43,661 I said that I didn't want kids, right? 1011 00:54:43,729 --> 00:54:46,564 I sa-- I said, "Jessie, I... 1012 00:54:46,632 --> 00:54:48,766 I don't want any kids." 1013 00:54:50,853 --> 00:54:53,304 Yeah, you did, didn't you? 1014 00:54:57,793 --> 00:54:59,894 Wait a minute. What are you doing? 1015 00:54:59,962 --> 00:55:02,397 What does it look like? 1016 00:55:02,465 --> 00:55:05,066 What? You're gonna have a baby 1017 00:55:05,134 --> 00:55:06,067 Somewhere else? 1018 00:55:06,135 --> 00:55:07,402 Who said I was gonna have a baby? 1019 00:55:07,470 --> 00:55:08,903 Well, you did! 1020 00:55:08,971 --> 00:55:10,238 No, I didn't. 1021 00:55:10,305 --> 00:55:13,091 I just said you'd better sit down. That's All. 1022 00:55:13,158 --> 00:55:15,426 So wait a minute. 1023 00:55:15,494 --> 00:55:17,361 You're not gonna have a baby? 1024 00:55:19,665 --> 00:55:21,265 You mean you're not pregnant? 1025 00:55:21,333 --> 00:55:23,935 Well, baby, that's just great. 1026 00:55:24,003 --> 00:55:25,353 You had me scared. 1027 00:55:28,324 --> 00:55:29,757 Jessie, what are you doing? 1028 00:55:29,825 --> 00:55:31,259 Why are you still packing? 1029 00:55:31,327 --> 00:55:34,262 Because I don't want to be with you anymore. 1030 00:55:34,330 --> 00:55:35,330 Why? 1031 00:55:35,398 --> 00:55:37,765 Let's just say we made a mistake, ok? 1032 00:55:37,833 --> 00:55:42,103 "let's just say we made a mistake?" 1033 00:55:42,171 --> 00:55:44,439 Jessie, now, wait just a second. 1034 00:55:44,507 --> 00:55:45,773 Would you think about this, 1035 00:55:45,841 --> 00:55:46,774 For cryin' out loud? 1036 00:55:46,842 --> 00:55:48,043 You can't do this to me! 1037 00:55:56,736 --> 00:55:59,137 Gosh, do you want kids that bad? 1038 00:55:59,204 --> 00:56:00,639 No, no. 1039 00:56:00,706 --> 00:56:02,741 No, I don't, not with you I don't. 1040 00:56:06,679 --> 00:56:08,814 All right, fine. Fine. 1041 00:56:08,881 --> 00:56:09,881 Fine! 1042 00:56:09,949 --> 00:56:12,600 You do whatever you want. 1043 00:56:12,668 --> 00:56:15,937 You just go wherever you want. 1044 00:56:23,646 --> 00:56:24,979 Ray: You go ahead. 1045 00:56:25,047 --> 00:56:28,149 You just go wherever you want to. 1046 00:56:28,217 --> 00:56:29,084 Yeah. 1047 00:56:34,489 --> 00:56:37,492 [playing hark, the herald angels sing] 1048 00:56:37,559 --> 00:56:40,912 You just can't stay up there, doggone it. 1049 00:56:40,980 --> 00:56:43,581 Yes, I can, and I'm gonna! 1050 00:56:43,666 --> 00:56:45,750 All right, sheriff. 1051 00:56:45,818 --> 00:56:47,185 Do your duty. 1052 00:56:51,591 --> 00:56:54,175 All right, homer Hightower, 1053 00:56:54,242 --> 00:56:55,527 You come down from there 1054 00:56:55,595 --> 00:56:56,444 Right now 1055 00:56:56,512 --> 00:56:58,230 In the name of the law! 1056 00:56:58,297 --> 00:56:59,264 No! 1057 00:57:02,268 --> 00:57:04,852 Homer, All right for you. 1058 00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:07,121 I'm arresting you 1059 00:57:07,189 --> 00:57:08,406 For disturbing the peace. 1060 00:57:08,473 --> 00:57:11,209 You go sit in your hat! 1061 00:57:14,597 --> 00:57:16,965 I did my job. 1062 00:57:32,114 --> 00:57:34,548 Homer, did you ever stop to think 1063 00:57:34,616 --> 00:57:36,551 That if we've got problems, 1064 00:57:36,619 --> 00:57:39,203 You're only making them worse! 1065 00:57:39,271 --> 00:57:43,357 A town Santa's gotta do what he's gotta do. 1066 00:57:48,881 --> 00:57:49,880 %% glo... %% 1067 00:57:49,932 --> 00:57:51,866 %% oh-oh-oh-oh %% 1068 00:57:51,934 --> 00:57:53,701 %% oh-oh-oh-oh-oh %% 1069 00:57:53,769 --> 00:57:55,537 %% ...Oria %% 1070 00:57:55,604 --> 00:57:58,540 %% in excelcius deo %% 1071 00:57:58,607 --> 00:57:59,541 %% glo... %% 1072 00:57:59,608 --> 00:58:00,708 %% oh-oh-oh-oh %% 1073 00:58:00,776 --> 00:58:03,044 %% oh-oh-oh-oh-oh... %% 1074 00:58:03,111 --> 00:58:06,013 Michael: Hey, guys. Can we listen to some music? 1075 00:58:06,081 --> 00:58:07,665 We're just outside of Vancouver. 1076 00:58:07,733 --> 00:58:09,300 We stopped to get a bite to eat. 1077 00:58:09,368 --> 00:58:11,118 Pete, that's great. You're gonna get there. 1078 00:58:11,186 --> 00:58:12,537 You're gonna make it before Christmas. 1079 00:58:12,605 --> 00:58:14,638 We got more than 1,000 Miles of frozen north to cover, 1080 00:58:14,706 --> 00:58:15,824 You know that. 1081 00:58:15,891 --> 00:58:17,225 Well, Helen called the weather bureau 1082 00:58:17,293 --> 00:58:18,376 And you're looking at 3 inches at the most 1083 00:58:18,443 --> 00:58:19,810 In the Yukon. 1084 00:58:19,879 --> 00:58:21,496 Listen, we'll give you a buzz 1085 00:58:21,563 --> 00:58:23,748 When we get into Willow creek. Take care. 1086 00:58:23,816 --> 00:58:25,666 All right. Adios. 1087 00:58:31,189 --> 00:58:33,708 I'd like four ham on whole wheat, 1088 00:58:33,776 --> 00:58:35,009 Four roast beef on rye, 1089 00:58:35,077 --> 00:58:36,044 And four cheeseburgers. 1090 00:58:37,947 --> 00:58:39,931 Is that it? 1091 00:58:41,717 --> 00:58:43,117 No... 1092 00:58:43,185 --> 00:58:46,571 Let me have four more sandwiches-- 1093 00:58:46,639 --> 00:58:49,658 Chicken on white bread... 1094 00:58:49,725 --> 00:58:51,626 And, uh... Cut the crusts off. 1095 00:58:51,694 --> 00:58:54,862 Are you serious? Cut the crusts off? 1096 00:58:54,930 --> 00:58:56,164 Yeah. 1097 00:58:59,368 --> 00:59:01,619 I'm getting my bike. 1098 00:59:03,104 --> 00:59:05,039 Hey, where are you going? 1099 00:59:05,106 --> 00:59:06,541 I'm going to see Jessie. 1100 00:59:06,608 --> 00:59:08,743 We got no time for that, Ray. 1101 00:59:08,811 --> 00:59:09,977 You can see her on the way back. 1102 00:59:10,045 --> 00:59:11,479 Look, man, I talked to her yesterday, 1103 00:59:11,547 --> 00:59:13,247 And she was there. She was on the phone. 1104 00:59:13,349 --> 00:59:14,899 And now the damn thing's disconnected. 1105 00:59:14,967 --> 00:59:17,101 You do whatever you got to do. I'm going. 1106 00:59:21,140 --> 00:59:22,574 Ray... 1107 00:59:22,642 --> 00:59:24,476 Ray... 1108 00:59:28,947 --> 00:59:30,298 Come on. 1109 00:59:32,601 --> 00:59:33,802 Yeah. 1110 00:59:33,869 --> 00:59:36,554 %% I'm rollin' like a tumbleweed %% 1111 00:59:36,622 --> 00:59:39,557 %% ain't got no roots to hold me down %% 1112 00:59:39,625 --> 00:59:42,043 %% I'm rollin' like a tumbleweed %% 1113 00:59:42,111 --> 00:59:44,729 %% movin' on %% 1114 00:59:47,983 --> 00:59:51,669 %% a bee has to stay by his honey %% 1115 00:59:53,539 --> 00:59:58,543 %% can't stray very far from his home %% 1116 00:59:58,611 --> 01:00:04,582 %% it's the same with possessions and money %% 1117 01:00:04,650 --> 01:00:09,053 %% to keep them they keep you at home %% 1118 01:00:16,895 --> 01:00:18,579 Ray: Jessie? 1119 01:00:20,198 --> 01:00:21,432 Ray? 1120 01:00:27,623 --> 01:00:29,691 Oh, God. 1121 01:00:33,612 --> 01:00:36,614 Oh, baby, am I glad to see you. 1122 01:00:37,849 --> 01:00:39,934 Oh, man, what are you doing here? 1123 01:00:40,002 --> 01:00:42,603 I'm on a run up north. 1124 01:00:42,671 --> 01:00:44,638 My, uh... 1125 01:00:44,706 --> 01:00:47,208 My partner's outside in the truck. 1126 01:00:47,276 --> 01:00:49,043 Come on. I'm gonna take you with me. 1127 01:00:49,111 --> 01:00:51,045 No. Please. Just... 1128 01:00:51,113 --> 01:00:53,047 Just go away. I'm fine. 1129 01:00:53,115 --> 01:00:54,548 I'll be All right, All right? 1130 01:00:54,616 --> 01:00:55,900 Are you crazy? 1131 01:00:55,968 --> 01:00:57,068 You're Alone in this frozen outhouse, 1132 01:00:57,135 --> 01:00:59,170 And you've got a gun, and you say you're fine? 1133 01:00:59,238 --> 01:01:00,287 Well, I'm sorry. 1134 01:01:00,355 --> 01:01:02,223 I'm taking you with me! Now, come on. 1135 01:01:02,291 --> 01:01:03,724 Ray, come on. Just leave me-- 1136 01:01:03,792 --> 01:01:06,127 No. Let's just go. Come on. 1137 01:01:11,032 --> 01:01:12,667 You're pregnant. 1138 01:01:12,734 --> 01:01:14,719 Oh, I see your mama 1139 01:01:14,786 --> 01:01:16,654 Didn't have any dumb kids. 1140 01:01:19,358 --> 01:01:21,058 That baby's mine, right? 1141 01:01:21,126 --> 01:01:22,560 Shut up, Ray. 1142 01:01:22,628 --> 01:01:23,862 If you're going to rescue me, 1143 01:01:23,929 --> 01:01:25,797 Let's just get it over with. 1144 01:01:25,865 --> 01:01:28,416 Ok, what are we gonna do with the gun? 1145 01:01:28,484 --> 01:01:30,384 Eat it. It's licorice. 1146 01:01:41,814 --> 01:01:43,897 Oh, wow! 1147 01:01:43,965 --> 01:01:45,899 Would you look at her? 1148 01:01:48,604 --> 01:01:52,072 Uh, it's a little detail I forgot to mention-- 1149 01:01:52,140 --> 01:01:54,542 My partner's Pete. 1150 01:01:54,609 --> 01:01:57,595 I'll put your stuff in the truck. 1151 01:02:11,626 --> 01:02:14,528 Jessie: I really thought I could make it, 1152 01:02:14,596 --> 01:02:17,531 But I got sick and then I had to quit my job. 1153 01:02:17,599 --> 01:02:19,533 And...Well, that was that. 1154 01:02:19,601 --> 01:02:22,553 There was three days rent left on the house. 1155 01:02:22,621 --> 01:02:24,889 Jessie, when you left, 1156 01:02:24,957 --> 01:02:26,424 You said that you weren't pregnant. 1157 01:02:26,108 --> 01:02:28,209 I lied. 1158 01:02:31,613 --> 01:02:33,214 So that's my baby, right? 1159 01:02:33,282 --> 01:02:35,166 What do you care? 1160 01:02:35,233 --> 01:02:37,001 What do I care? 1161 01:02:37,069 --> 01:02:38,736 Aw, come off it for just a second, would ya? 1162 01:02:38,804 --> 01:02:41,806 You tell me, is that or is that not my baby? 1163 01:02:41,874 --> 01:02:45,209 I'll tell you whose baby this is, Ray. It's mine. 1164 01:02:45,277 --> 01:02:47,929 So shut up about it. 1165 01:02:50,032 --> 01:02:51,698 I'm hungry. 1166 01:02:51,766 --> 01:02:54,018 It's yours, huh? Don't you think I have a right-- 1167 01:02:54,085 --> 01:02:56,704 I'm not talking about it! I'm not talking about it. 1168 01:02:56,771 --> 01:02:57,738 Fine. 1169 01:02:57,806 --> 01:03:00,040 You know what I would love? 1170 01:03:00,109 --> 01:03:01,576 I would love a chicken sandwich right now. 1171 01:03:06,615 --> 01:03:09,483 What do you have back there? 1172 01:03:15,057 --> 01:03:17,942 Chicken on white bread? 1173 01:03:18,009 --> 01:03:20,345 The crusts are cut off. 1174 01:03:21,613 --> 01:03:24,399 I guess I must have bought them for you. 1175 01:03:36,261 --> 01:03:38,663 %% at 4:00 this mornin' %% 1176 01:03:38,730 --> 01:03:41,182 %% my wife woke me to say %% 1177 01:03:41,249 --> 01:03:43,835 %% Billy, get me to the doctor %% 1178 01:03:43,902 --> 01:03:45,469 %% our son's on his way %% 1179 01:03:47,856 --> 01:03:49,373 %% well, I didn't have no gas %% 1180 01:03:49,441 --> 01:03:51,408 %% in my old car %% 1181 01:03:51,476 --> 01:03:53,811 %% All my paycheck had gone for drinkin' %% 1182 01:03:55,497 --> 01:03:58,265 %% she had my son on the kitchen floor %% 1183 01:03:58,334 --> 01:04:01,869 %% and that's what got me thinkin' %% 1184 01:04:01,937 --> 01:04:06,307 %% bar stools and babies don't mix %% 1185 01:04:07,926 --> 01:04:12,080 %% it's time to give up my old tricks %% 1186 01:04:14,483 --> 01:04:17,201 %% babies need love %% 1187 01:04:17,268 --> 01:04:20,838 %% and when push comes to shove %% 1188 01:04:20,906 --> 01:04:25,309 %% bar stools and babies don't mix %% 1189 01:04:26,862 --> 01:04:29,830 %% to my old barroom buddies %% 1190 01:04:29,898 --> 01:04:33,167 %% I'm sayin' good-bye %% 1191 01:04:33,235 --> 01:04:35,836 %% from now on I'm singin' %% 1192 01:04:35,904 --> 01:04:39,340 %% a new lullaby %% 1193 01:04:39,408 --> 01:04:42,410 %% singin' rock-a-bye baby %% 1194 01:04:42,478 --> 01:04:45,730 %% don't need rock and rye %% 1195 01:04:45,797 --> 01:04:49,199 %% I don't mean just maybe %% 1196 01:04:49,267 --> 01:04:52,236 %% baby, don't cry %% 1197 01:04:53,922 --> 01:04:57,791 %% bar stools and babies don't mix %% 1198 01:04:59,828 --> 01:05:04,198 %% from now on, I'm home before 6:00 %% 1199 01:05:06,401 --> 01:05:09,170 %% babies need love %% 1200 01:05:09,238 --> 01:05:12,240 %% sure as Heaven's above %% 1201 01:05:12,307 --> 01:05:16,961 %% bar stools and babies don't mix %% 1202 01:05:19,030 --> 01:05:22,016 %% to my old barroom buddies %% 1203 01:05:22,083 --> 01:05:25,019 %% I'm sayin' good-bye %% 1204 01:05:25,086 --> 01:05:28,038 %% from now on I'm singin' %% 1205 01:05:28,106 --> 01:05:31,292 %% a new lullaby %% 1206 01:05:31,359 --> 01:05:34,495 %% singin' rock-a-bye baby %% 1207 01:05:34,563 --> 01:05:37,514 %% don't need rock and rye %% 1208 01:05:37,582 --> 01:05:41,185 %% and I don't mean just maybe %% 1209 01:05:41,252 --> 01:05:44,454 %% baby, don't cry %% 1210 01:05:46,090 --> 01:05:49,960 %% bar stools and babies don't mix %% 1211 01:05:52,097 --> 01:05:56,250 %% from now on, I'm home before 6:00 %% 1212 01:05:58,686 --> 01:06:01,188 %% babies need love %% 1213 01:06:01,256 --> 01:06:04,858 %% sure as Heaven's above %% 1214 01:06:04,926 --> 01:06:08,829 %% bar stools and babies don't mix %% 1215 01:06:17,072 --> 01:06:18,506 Psst. 1216 01:06:18,573 --> 01:06:19,740 Homer! 1217 01:06:22,460 --> 01:06:25,530 There's something I think I ought to tell you, homer. 1218 01:06:25,597 --> 01:06:28,115 You know All them things the kids told you 1219 01:06:28,183 --> 01:06:29,951 They wanted for Christmas? 1220 01:06:30,018 --> 01:06:32,119 Well, they're gonna be here tonight 1221 01:06:32,187 --> 01:06:35,439 In a truck my cousin Al's sending up from California. 1222 01:06:35,507 --> 01:06:37,608 Is that so? 1223 01:06:37,676 --> 01:06:40,294 Well, that's something, I guess. 1224 01:06:40,362 --> 01:06:42,362 I knew that would make you happy. 1225 01:06:42,414 --> 01:06:44,248 So you'll come down and give them out, eh? 1226 01:06:44,316 --> 01:06:45,616 Nope. 1227 01:06:45,684 --> 01:06:46,900 Well, why not? 1228 01:06:46,968 --> 01:06:49,203 Something else has got to happen. 1229 01:06:49,271 --> 01:06:50,971 Well, what? 1230 01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:54,008 I haven't the faintest idea, 1231 01:06:54,075 --> 01:06:56,710 But when it happens, I'll know. 1232 01:06:56,778 --> 01:06:59,863 Homer, you're nuts! 1233 01:06:59,931 --> 01:07:02,033 Guess what? 1234 01:07:02,100 --> 01:07:04,535 There's gonna be a blizzard. 1235 01:07:15,731 --> 01:07:16,931 Jessie: Ah! 1236 01:07:16,999 --> 01:07:18,833 You All right, Jess? 1237 01:07:18,901 --> 01:07:21,168 You aren't taking obstetrics in school, are you, Mikey? 1238 01:07:21,236 --> 01:07:23,120 No. Wood shop. 1239 01:07:24,923 --> 01:07:25,890 Jessie, don't be silly. 1240 01:07:25,957 --> 01:07:27,858 It couldn't be that. 1241 01:07:27,926 --> 01:07:29,527 No. Not in here. 1242 01:07:29,594 --> 01:07:31,862 Hey, what are you guys talking about? 1243 01:07:31,930 --> 01:07:34,164 This is mama bear in Willow creek. 1244 01:07:34,232 --> 01:07:36,166 Yellow bird, you got your ears on? 1245 01:07:36,234 --> 01:07:37,501 You got the yellow bird, 1246 01:07:37,569 --> 01:07:38,502 Mama bear. 1247 01:07:38,570 --> 01:07:40,037 Boy, are we glad to hear your voice. 1248 01:07:40,104 --> 01:07:41,088 I don't think 1249 01:07:41,156 --> 01:07:43,290 We're not more than 20 Miles from you. 1250 01:07:43,358 --> 01:07:44,875 Where in the devil this snow come from? 1251 01:07:44,943 --> 01:07:48,195 It shouldn't build up much more, yellow bird. 1252 01:07:48,263 --> 01:07:49,847 Well, let's hope not. We got a lady on board, 1253 01:07:49,915 --> 01:07:52,150 And she is in labor, even as we speak. 1254 01:07:52,217 --> 01:07:54,185 My stars and garters, yellow bird-- 1255 01:07:54,253 --> 01:07:56,320 We got an old sawbones here 1256 01:07:56,388 --> 01:07:58,005 Who's just dying to deliver a baby. 1257 01:07:58,073 --> 01:07:59,823 We'll be waitin' with bells on. 1258 01:07:59,891 --> 01:08:00,824 I'm out. 1259 01:08:00,892 --> 01:08:02,943 We're gone, too, mama bear. 1260 01:08:03,011 --> 01:08:05,196 Charlotte. 1261 01:08:08,583 --> 01:08:11,952 You can hardly see across the street. 1262 01:08:12,020 --> 01:08:13,520 Hey, thanks, Charlotte. 1263 01:08:13,588 --> 01:08:16,057 Let me know what happens, ok? 1264 01:08:16,124 --> 01:08:17,474 All right. Bye. 1265 01:08:22,280 --> 01:08:24,014 I don't suppose you'd mind 1266 01:08:24,082 --> 01:08:25,883 If I said a little prayer, would you? 1267 01:08:25,951 --> 01:08:30,554 No. I can use All the help I can get right now. 1268 01:08:34,743 --> 01:08:38,145 I can't even see the road, man. 1269 01:08:38,212 --> 01:08:41,148 Ahh! Guys, my contractions are coming faster. 1270 01:08:41,216 --> 01:08:42,483 I'm driving as fast as I can, Jessie. 1271 01:08:42,550 --> 01:08:44,184 I can't even see the road! 1272 01:08:44,252 --> 01:08:45,586 I can't have the baby here! 1273 01:08:45,654 --> 01:08:46,887 You're not gonna have it here. 1274 01:08:46,955 --> 01:08:49,089 It's not gonna happen. Just be calm, eh? 1275 01:08:52,327 --> 01:08:53,661 We're on ice. 1276 01:08:53,728 --> 01:08:54,795 Try to keep it straight. 1277 01:08:54,863 --> 01:08:55,729 Ray: I got it. 1278 01:09:01,637 --> 01:09:03,237 Jessie, lay down flat, and hold on! 1279 01:09:14,716 --> 01:09:16,000 Pete: Watch out for the snow bank. 1280 01:09:16,068 --> 01:09:18,402 We're goin' right into it. 1281 01:09:18,470 --> 01:09:20,004 Grab on, son! 1282 01:09:20,072 --> 01:09:20,955 Hang on! 1283 01:09:28,179 --> 01:09:30,263 We stopped. 1284 01:09:30,332 --> 01:09:32,716 We're stopped. We're ok. 1285 01:09:41,877 --> 01:09:43,611 Why can't we see out? 1286 01:09:43,678 --> 01:09:45,396 We're in a snow bank, 1287 01:09:45,464 --> 01:09:47,397 But everything's All right. We're ok. 1288 01:09:50,268 --> 01:09:51,768 Breaker, breaker. This is the yellow bird. 1289 01:09:51,836 --> 01:09:53,370 We've got a mayday in wolf pass. 1290 01:09:53,438 --> 01:09:55,306 Aah! Come back. 1291 01:09:55,373 --> 01:09:58,525 Repeat. This is the yellow bird. 1292 01:09:58,593 --> 01:10:00,227 We've got a mayday in wolf pass. 1293 01:10:00,294 --> 01:10:01,161 Come back, please. 1294 01:10:05,383 --> 01:10:06,817 Nothin'. We must have broke the antenna off 1295 01:10:06,884 --> 01:10:07,884 When we hit. 1296 01:10:07,952 --> 01:10:09,837 I think my water just broke. 1297 01:10:09,905 --> 01:10:11,539 What does that mean? 1298 01:10:11,606 --> 01:10:13,473 It means I'm gonna have my baby here! 1299 01:10:13,542 --> 01:10:15,175 That's what it means. 1300 01:10:17,094 --> 01:10:19,129 Oh, fine. Fine. 1301 01:10:19,197 --> 01:10:20,564 The engine died. 1302 01:10:20,632 --> 01:10:21,965 Start it up again, for God's sake. 1303 01:10:22,033 --> 01:10:23,150 I'm trying. 1304 01:10:24,553 --> 01:10:25,970 Come on, baby. 1305 01:10:28,072 --> 01:10:29,707 Come in, yellow bird. 1306 01:10:29,774 --> 01:10:31,959 [static] 1307 01:10:32,027 --> 01:10:33,110 Nothing. 1308 01:10:33,178 --> 01:10:34,895 They're in wolf pass. I know it. 1309 01:10:36,815 --> 01:10:37,948 Oh! 1310 01:10:38,015 --> 01:10:39,583 Ray: There's gotta be a house 1311 01:10:39,651 --> 01:10:41,085 Around here somewhere. I'm gonna go check it out. 1312 01:10:41,152 --> 01:10:42,920 All right. I'm scared. 1313 01:10:42,987 --> 01:10:44,354 Just take deep breaths. 1314 01:10:44,422 --> 01:10:46,156 [knock on window] 1315 01:10:46,224 --> 01:10:48,208 That's it. Deep breaths. 1316 01:10:54,099 --> 01:10:54,999 Pete. 1317 01:10:59,921 --> 01:11:01,789 Roll the window down. 1318 01:11:06,227 --> 01:11:08,195 Buenas noches. 1319 01:11:08,263 --> 01:11:10,464 My name is Domingo. 1320 01:11:10,531 --> 01:11:12,483 I am a shepherd. 1321 01:11:14,352 --> 01:11:17,955 I think, se�ora, you need a midwife. 1322 01:11:19,808 --> 01:11:21,074 Vengan ustedes. 1323 01:11:21,142 --> 01:11:22,693 Come with me. 1324 01:11:27,265 --> 01:11:28,282 Come. 1325 01:11:29,985 --> 01:11:31,618 Come on, baby. 1326 01:11:31,686 --> 01:11:33,070 You'll be All right. 1327 01:11:33,138 --> 01:11:34,855 We'll give you a hand. Come on. 1328 01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:08,088 It's All right. It's ok. 1329 01:12:09,591 --> 01:12:11,625 Easy. Easy. 1330 01:12:14,896 --> 01:12:15,996 All right, now, 1331 01:12:16,064 --> 01:12:17,431 Where's this midwife you talked about? 1332 01:12:17,499 --> 01:12:18,432 Ah! 1333 01:12:18,500 --> 01:12:20,467 Ah ta ta ta. 1334 01:12:20,535 --> 01:12:23,136 The midwife, se�or, is me. 1335 01:12:23,204 --> 01:12:24,438 Hold on a second. 1336 01:12:24,506 --> 01:12:26,557 I don't think that's what we had in mind. 1337 01:12:26,625 --> 01:12:28,025 Amigo, amigo, 1338 01:12:28,093 --> 01:12:29,276 With these hands, 1339 01:12:29,343 --> 01:12:32,229 I've brought into the world a thousand lambs. 1340 01:12:34,933 --> 01:12:35,883 Aah! 1341 01:12:35,950 --> 01:12:37,434 I'm here, baby. 1342 01:12:39,871 --> 01:12:42,890 It is better if I have someone to stroke the ewe 1343 01:12:42,957 --> 01:12:44,224 And speak softly to her 1344 01:12:44,292 --> 01:12:46,326 While I am bringing out the lamb. 1345 01:12:46,394 --> 01:12:48,846 I'll do that. I'm the father. 1346 01:12:48,913 --> 01:12:50,513 Se�or? 1347 01:12:50,581 --> 01:12:51,515 Not you. 1348 01:12:55,219 --> 01:12:56,653 Not you. 1349 01:12:56,721 --> 01:12:58,004 Not you. 1350 01:13:01,092 --> 01:13:02,609 He will help me. 1351 01:13:09,985 --> 01:13:11,518 Yeah. 1352 01:13:11,586 --> 01:13:12,670 I will. 1353 01:13:15,423 --> 01:13:17,024 I don't know about this. 1354 01:13:17,092 --> 01:13:18,492 Go. Go. 1355 01:13:19,828 --> 01:13:21,128 Please, go. 1356 01:13:31,573 --> 01:13:33,056 Hang on tight, Mikey. 1357 01:13:33,124 --> 01:13:34,725 Hang on tight. 1358 01:13:39,481 --> 01:13:41,147 Aah! 1359 01:13:41,215 --> 01:13:43,233 Now, please go, 1360 01:13:43,301 --> 01:13:46,236 And leave the midwife to his work. 1361 01:13:46,304 --> 01:13:49,189 We will soon have a new lamb. 1362 01:14:02,871 --> 01:14:05,973 Man, I ought to be in there, you know it? 1363 01:14:08,059 --> 01:14:09,543 Her baby. 1364 01:14:09,644 --> 01:14:11,327 That gets me. 1365 01:14:11,395 --> 01:14:13,329 Why should that bother you? 1366 01:14:13,397 --> 01:14:14,965 You don't want it. 1367 01:14:15,033 --> 01:14:18,068 Don't go tellin' me what I do and don't want. 1368 01:14:18,136 --> 01:14:19,269 I know what you're thinkin'. 1369 01:14:19,337 --> 01:14:21,555 You're thinkin' just maybe that baby is yours. 1370 01:14:21,623 --> 01:14:22,939 Well, let me tell you something. 1371 01:14:23,007 --> 01:14:24,708 It's not. That baby is mine. 1372 01:14:24,776 --> 01:14:25,809 I never said it wasn't, Ray. 1373 01:14:25,877 --> 01:14:27,077 And you think that maybe 1374 01:14:27,144 --> 01:14:29,079 Because your stupid brother Ray 1375 01:14:29,146 --> 01:14:30,914 Doesn't want his baby, 1376 01:14:30,982 --> 01:14:33,233 That just maybe you can get Jessie back. 1377 01:14:33,301 --> 01:14:35,368 Isn't that right? 1378 01:14:35,436 --> 01:14:36,870 That's not true. 1379 01:14:36,938 --> 01:14:39,273 Yeah, well, I got news for you, pal. 1380 01:14:39,340 --> 01:14:41,741 Jessie don't love you. 1381 01:14:41,810 --> 01:14:44,744 I know that, Ray. 1382 01:14:44,813 --> 01:14:47,597 I tell you what I would do. 1383 01:14:47,665 --> 01:14:49,132 I'd take that baby and I'd raise it 1384 01:14:49,200 --> 01:14:51,835 If she wanted me to. 1385 01:14:51,903 --> 01:14:53,337 I'd take care of her, too. 1386 01:14:58,325 --> 01:15:01,161 Man, you're crazy, you know that? 1387 01:15:01,229 --> 01:15:03,680 You would do that, wouldn't you? 1388 01:15:03,748 --> 01:15:05,082 You're damned right I would. 1389 01:15:06,868 --> 01:15:09,269 You'd do that because that's the kind of guy you are: 1390 01:15:09,337 --> 01:15:10,971 Mr. Responsible. 1391 01:15:11,038 --> 01:15:12,689 Oh, that's right. You are the grown-up 1392 01:15:12,757 --> 01:15:14,407 Around here, aren't you, Pete? 1393 01:15:14,475 --> 01:15:15,459 Damn you. 1394 01:15:15,527 --> 01:15:17,043 Why don't you just love the kid you got? 1395 01:15:19,981 --> 01:15:21,348 Very soon. 1396 01:15:21,416 --> 01:15:22,649 Hang on tight, Mikey. 1397 01:15:27,655 --> 01:15:29,839 Look, man, uh... 1398 01:15:33,361 --> 01:15:35,029 What'd you do that for? 1399 01:15:36,247 --> 01:15:37,614 Because you're right. 1400 01:15:42,336 --> 01:15:43,737 That's for never giving me the satisfaction 1401 01:15:43,805 --> 01:15:44,671 Of fighting me. 1402 01:15:47,008 --> 01:15:48,792 That's because you've been havin' it comin' 1403 01:15:48,860 --> 01:15:50,193 For a long time. 1404 01:15:50,261 --> 01:15:52,012 That's for never... 1405 01:15:52,079 --> 01:15:54,197 Never gettin' mad at me for stealing Jessie. 1406 01:15:58,686 --> 01:16:01,438 And that's for stealing Jessie. 1407 01:16:09,998 --> 01:16:11,297 [laughs] 1408 01:16:11,365 --> 01:16:13,500 [both laugh] 1409 01:16:16,738 --> 01:16:18,171 You All right? 1410 01:16:18,239 --> 01:16:19,689 Are you kiddin'? 1411 01:16:23,594 --> 01:16:25,395 [baby cries] 1412 01:16:28,599 --> 01:16:29,733 Come on. 1413 01:16:29,801 --> 01:16:30,867 Come on. 1414 01:16:34,405 --> 01:16:35,939 A little boy. 1415 01:16:46,584 --> 01:16:48,034 Domingo: Un bonito nino. 1416 01:16:50,871 --> 01:16:52,289 Oh, my God. 1417 01:16:54,125 --> 01:16:55,526 Me... 1418 01:16:55,593 --> 01:16:57,894 Me and Domingo did it, uncle Ray. 1419 01:16:57,962 --> 01:16:59,629 [baby cries] 1420 01:17:24,072 --> 01:17:27,140 He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 1421 01:17:29,410 --> 01:17:30,777 He's so little. 1422 01:17:36,000 --> 01:17:38,051 Jessie, 1423 01:17:38,119 --> 01:17:40,537 The whole time you were away, 1424 01:17:40,604 --> 01:17:42,672 All I could think about 1425 01:17:42,740 --> 01:17:45,626 Was how much I wanted you back. 1426 01:17:47,962 --> 01:17:50,196 I'm a screw-up, Jessie. 1427 01:17:52,767 --> 01:17:55,152 I guess I Always will be. 1428 01:17:59,874 --> 01:18:02,275 But I love you more than anything 1429 01:18:02,343 --> 01:18:03,810 And I want you back. 1430 01:18:09,851 --> 01:18:12,669 And I want that... That little baby. 1431 01:18:17,375 --> 01:18:19,342 I want both of you. 1432 01:18:25,082 --> 01:18:26,517 Will you come back? 1433 01:18:27,919 --> 01:18:30,804 You really and truly want the baby? 1434 01:18:30,871 --> 01:18:31,988 Yes. 1435 01:18:32,056 --> 01:18:33,957 I do. 1436 01:18:39,881 --> 01:18:41,881 Oh. 1437 01:18:41,949 --> 01:18:42,832 Come here. 1438 01:19:14,098 --> 01:19:17,701 It's...It's back. 1439 01:19:17,769 --> 01:19:19,970 Oh... 1440 01:19:20,038 --> 01:19:21,554 It's back! 1441 01:19:23,391 --> 01:19:25,075 It's back. 1442 01:19:25,143 --> 01:19:26,926 It's back. 1443 01:19:26,994 --> 01:19:29,196 It's back! 1444 01:19:29,263 --> 01:19:30,847 It's back! 1445 01:19:30,915 --> 01:19:35,118 The spirit of Christmas is back! 1446 01:19:35,186 --> 01:19:36,670 It's back! 1447 01:19:36,738 --> 01:19:40,374 The spirit of Christmas is back! 1448 01:19:43,177 --> 01:19:44,044 Homer! 1449 01:19:45,346 --> 01:19:46,346 What happened? 1450 01:19:46,414 --> 01:19:48,882 I don't know, but something did. 1451 01:19:51,568 --> 01:19:54,004 Quit hugging me, Charlotte. 1452 01:19:54,071 --> 01:19:56,272 Hey, homer! 1453 01:19:56,340 --> 01:19:59,308 Let's get that truck out of wolf pass. 1454 01:19:59,376 --> 01:20:01,044 And deliver a baby! 1455 01:20:11,205 --> 01:20:12,990 They're in that snowdrift. 1456 01:20:13,057 --> 01:20:15,158 I hope they're ok. 1457 01:20:20,898 --> 01:20:23,266 Yep. That's Al's truck, All right. 1458 01:20:24,802 --> 01:20:27,387 All right, now. Come on, dig. 1459 01:20:27,455 --> 01:20:28,855 Come on. We've got to get them out of there. 1460 01:20:28,923 --> 01:20:29,923 Hold on. 1461 01:20:29,990 --> 01:20:31,491 Here it comes. 1462 01:20:31,559 --> 01:20:32,926 There we go. 1463 01:20:35,563 --> 01:20:39,198 Merry Christmas, and welcome to Willow creek. 1464 01:20:40,735 --> 01:20:42,168 I'm Charlotte Kemper, 1465 01:20:42,236 --> 01:20:44,805 And you're in a snowdrift. 1466 01:20:47,125 --> 01:20:51,228 Well, would you look at that baby. 1467 01:20:51,312 --> 01:20:54,180 Let me hold the little darlin'. 1468 01:20:54,248 --> 01:20:56,316 It can't be more than an hour old. 1469 01:20:56,384 --> 01:20:59,969 Young lady, did you have the baby in this truck? 1470 01:21:00,038 --> 01:21:02,172 Jessie: No, no. In a little house. 1471 01:21:02,240 --> 01:21:03,623 We were stuck in the Storm, 1472 01:21:03,691 --> 01:21:04,857 And that shepherd found us. 1473 01:21:04,925 --> 01:21:06,410 Domingo-- that was his name. 1474 01:21:06,477 --> 01:21:07,644 He delivered our baby. 1475 01:21:07,711 --> 01:21:09,679 What little house, for goodness sake? 1476 01:21:09,747 --> 01:21:11,648 It couldn't have been more than 100 yards out that way, 1477 01:21:11,716 --> 01:21:13,115 Through the... 1478 01:21:15,036 --> 01:21:16,219 Woods. 1479 01:21:16,287 --> 01:21:17,454 You're sure this happened 1480 01:21:17,521 --> 01:21:18,838 Around here? 1481 01:21:18,906 --> 01:21:20,641 Well, it was, uh... 1482 01:21:20,708 --> 01:21:22,308 It was snowin' pretty hard. 1483 01:21:22,376 --> 01:21:24,444 We couldn't see a whole heck of a lot. 1484 01:21:24,512 --> 01:21:25,512 There were sheep, lots of 'em. 1485 01:21:25,579 --> 01:21:26,513 Sheep? Sheep? 1486 01:21:26,580 --> 01:21:28,682 Sure it wasn't a caribou you saw? 1487 01:21:28,750 --> 01:21:30,767 No, sir. It was sheep. 1488 01:21:30,835 --> 01:21:33,369 The important thing is, whoever delivered it, 1489 01:21:33,437 --> 01:21:35,471 The little tyke's healthy. 1490 01:21:35,539 --> 01:21:37,908 All right, doc. 1491 01:21:37,975 --> 01:21:41,377 Now, you folks can come Along with us. 1492 01:21:41,445 --> 01:21:43,513 The rest of you get back to work 1493 01:21:43,581 --> 01:21:45,949 Diggin' out this Christmas truck. 1494 01:21:49,087 --> 01:21:50,520 Man: Yeah. Right underneath there. 1495 01:21:50,588 --> 01:21:52,355 Charlie, give me a hand over here. 1496 01:21:52,423 --> 01:21:54,224 All right, I'm comin'! 1497 01:22:06,536 --> 01:22:08,488 It was here. 1498 01:22:08,555 --> 01:22:09,956 Wasn't it? 1499 01:22:10,041 --> 01:22:11,424 It was All here. 1500 01:22:13,060 --> 01:22:15,195 This is weird. 1501 01:22:18,215 --> 01:22:20,851 [playing hark, the herald angels sing] 1502 01:22:32,780 --> 01:22:35,532 We're here in Willow creek. 1503 01:22:35,599 --> 01:22:37,333 Pete, you did it. You got there! 1504 01:22:39,287 --> 01:22:41,404 Ho ho ho! 1505 01:22:41,472 --> 01:22:43,340 Where's Sabrina? 1506 01:22:43,407 --> 01:22:46,276 Here I am, Santa. Here I am. 1507 01:22:47,611 --> 01:22:49,495 Merry Christmas. 1508 01:22:51,982 --> 01:22:53,917 Thank you, Santa. Thank you. 1509 01:22:53,984 --> 01:22:55,919 A G.I. Joe. 1510 01:22:55,986 --> 01:22:59,622 He got her a G.I. Joe doll. 1511 01:22:59,690 --> 01:23:01,774 Have they unloaded the biggie yet? 1512 01:23:01,842 --> 01:23:02,809 I don't think so. 1513 01:23:02,877 --> 01:23:04,093 Well, get out there, partner, 1514 01:23:04,162 --> 01:23:05,295 'cause I don't want you to miss it. 1515 01:23:06,497 --> 01:23:07,730 What is it, Thurgood? 1516 01:23:15,006 --> 01:23:16,406 Man: A robot truck. 1517 01:23:17,742 --> 01:23:19,292 Thank you, Santa. 1518 01:23:19,360 --> 01:23:21,311 Aw! Aw! 1519 01:23:29,487 --> 01:23:30,453 What's this? 1520 01:23:43,317 --> 01:23:45,252 Well, young lady, you're perfect. 1521 01:23:45,319 --> 01:23:48,154 So is this little boy. 1522 01:23:48,222 --> 01:23:50,556 Son, you and your brother did an amazing job. 1523 01:23:50,624 --> 01:23:52,609 Couldn't have done any better myself. 1524 01:23:52,677 --> 01:23:55,562 Of course, there is this umbilical knot. 1525 01:23:55,630 --> 01:23:59,266 It ain't the kind of knot an obstetrician ties. 1526 01:23:59,333 --> 01:24:03,002 It's the sort a vet uses on goats and... 1527 01:24:03,070 --> 01:24:04,037 Sheep. 1528 01:24:06,557 --> 01:24:08,591 Hey, Ray! Jessie! You gotta come quick! 1529 01:24:10,494 --> 01:24:12,662 Man: What is it, Ray? 1530 01:24:14,982 --> 01:24:17,367 Well, what it looks like to me... 1531 01:24:21,005 --> 01:24:24,674 There's enough stuff so you could make about... 1532 01:24:24,742 --> 01:24:26,276 10 tons of chili? 1533 01:24:26,344 --> 01:24:28,745 What's that got to do with you, Ray? 1534 01:24:28,813 --> 01:24:29,896 And what in tarnation 1535 01:24:29,964 --> 01:24:31,798 Has it got to do with Willow creek? 1536 01:24:31,866 --> 01:24:33,666 I know what it has to do with Ray. 1537 01:24:33,734 --> 01:24:35,702 He makes great chili. He won 1538 01:24:35,770 --> 01:24:36,886 The coast-to-coast chili cook-off 1539 01:24:36,954 --> 01:24:37,971 With it. 1540 01:24:38,039 --> 01:24:39,973 Runner-up, little buddy. Just runner-up. 1541 01:24:40,040 --> 01:24:41,490 I get it. 1542 01:24:41,558 --> 01:24:43,492 Don't you folks see? 1543 01:24:43,560 --> 01:24:46,679 This fella knows how to make chili. 1544 01:24:46,747 --> 01:24:50,867 We got a whole truck full of chili-makings. 1545 01:24:50,935 --> 01:24:56,206 And what we got is an idle doggone cannery. 1546 01:24:56,273 --> 01:24:57,640 Hey! 1547 01:24:57,708 --> 01:24:58,875 Hey, everybody! 1548 01:24:58,943 --> 01:25:01,594 We're going to reopen the cannery. 1549 01:25:01,662 --> 01:25:02,996 We're gonna make chili! 1550 01:25:05,149 --> 01:25:08,251 Al sent tons and tons of the stuff to make it with, 1551 01:25:08,318 --> 01:25:11,921 And he sent us Ray to tell us how to do it. 1552 01:25:11,989 --> 01:25:14,273 Thank you very much. 1553 01:25:18,963 --> 01:25:21,898 This is as much of a surprise to me as it is to them. 1554 01:25:21,966 --> 01:25:25,368 You know, Al's been... 1555 01:25:25,435 --> 01:25:27,036 Trying to make me do something with my life 1556 01:25:27,104 --> 01:25:28,554 For as long as I can remember. 1557 01:25:28,622 --> 01:25:31,991 I just never gave 2 cents about it till now, 1558 01:25:32,059 --> 01:25:34,761 Because now I have you... 1559 01:25:34,828 --> 01:25:35,695 [baby fusses] 1560 01:25:35,730 --> 01:25:37,030 And I have the baby. 1561 01:25:45,256 --> 01:25:49,459 What would you think about maybe staying in Willow creek 1562 01:25:49,527 --> 01:25:51,344 For just a little while? 1563 01:25:51,412 --> 01:25:55,698 I mean, giving this chili business a shot? 1564 01:25:57,517 --> 01:25:59,920 Well, I Always figured 1565 01:25:59,987 --> 01:26:01,687 Home is where the people you love are. 1566 01:26:01,755 --> 01:26:06,276 So if Willow creek is where you want to be, 1567 01:26:06,343 --> 01:26:08,127 I guess we're home. 1568 01:26:09,930 --> 01:26:10,931 Yeah. 1569 01:26:10,998 --> 01:26:12,465 Yeah. 1570 01:26:16,120 --> 01:26:18,305 Let's get this show on the road. 1571 01:26:18,372 --> 01:26:20,790 Everybody lend a hand! 1572 01:26:20,857 --> 01:26:22,775 Hey, hit it, boys. 1573 01:26:22,843 --> 01:26:24,710 [band plays we wish you a Merry Christmas] 1574 01:26:33,871 --> 01:26:35,805 Here's your Christmas present. 1575 01:26:35,873 --> 01:26:37,557 Oranges. Lots of 'em. 1576 01:26:45,549 --> 01:26:47,150 Fatherhood. 1577 01:26:47,218 --> 01:26:48,485 [chuckles] 1578 01:26:48,552 --> 01:26:51,404 Man, it's a funny thing, you know? 1579 01:26:51,472 --> 01:26:52,906 I speak from experience. 1580 01:26:59,913 --> 01:27:03,099 I want my kid to be like you. 1581 01:27:03,166 --> 01:27:06,402 That way I won't have so much trouble 1582 01:27:06,454 --> 01:27:08,321 Raising him, you know? 1583 01:27:08,388 --> 01:27:10,340 You've got yourself a real chore. 1584 01:27:10,407 --> 01:27:11,407 You've, uh... 1585 01:27:11,475 --> 01:27:13,342 You've got a kid just like me. 1586 01:27:13,410 --> 01:27:16,429 How'd you get to be so smart All of a sudden? 1587 01:27:16,497 --> 01:27:18,431 Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's, um... 1588 01:27:18,499 --> 01:27:19,999 Maybe it's All that long-haired music 1589 01:27:20,067 --> 01:27:21,501 You've been exposing me to. 1590 01:27:21,569 --> 01:27:23,202 Oh. 1591 01:27:23,271 --> 01:27:26,205 Hey, I want you to admit to one thing. 1592 01:27:26,273 --> 01:27:27,540 What's that? 1593 01:27:27,608 --> 01:27:28,874 Back there... 1594 01:27:28,942 --> 01:27:31,043 You were tapping your foot 1595 01:27:31,111 --> 01:27:33,897 To my music, weren't you, huh? 1596 01:27:33,964 --> 01:27:35,331 All right. I'll admit it. 1597 01:27:35,399 --> 01:27:36,265 All right. 1598 01:27:38,703 --> 01:27:40,003 Forgive and forget? 1599 01:27:42,973 --> 01:27:44,323 You got it. 1600 01:27:44,391 --> 01:27:45,291 Oh, man. 1601 01:27:50,865 --> 01:27:52,398 Hey-- uh... 1602 01:27:52,466 --> 01:27:53,332 Merry-- merry-- 1603 01:27:54,468 --> 01:27:56,002 Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. 1604 01:28:09,466 --> 01:28:11,901 The baby's my cousin, right? 1605 01:28:11,969 --> 01:28:14,003 Yeah, he sure is. 1606 01:28:16,807 --> 01:28:18,741 Every time I see him from now on, 1607 01:28:18,809 --> 01:28:20,243 I can tell him 1608 01:28:20,310 --> 01:28:23,179 I helped bring him into the world. 1609 01:28:26,984 --> 01:28:28,351 I never did anything... 1610 01:28:29,820 --> 01:28:30,920 Important before. 1611 01:28:30,988 --> 01:28:32,355 You know? 1612 01:28:33,473 --> 01:28:34,874 Yeah. 1613 01:28:34,942 --> 01:28:36,009 Come on. 1614 01:28:43,017 --> 01:28:44,867 When your mom went away, 1615 01:28:44,935 --> 01:28:47,370 It took something out of you 1616 01:28:47,438 --> 01:28:50,373 That I've never been able to put back. 1617 01:28:50,441 --> 01:28:51,874 I guess so. 1618 01:28:51,942 --> 01:28:53,443 Well, I want you to know that 1619 01:28:53,511 --> 01:28:55,077 It took something out of me, too. 1620 01:28:55,112 --> 01:28:57,413 It did? 1621 01:28:57,481 --> 01:28:59,399 Yeah, it did. 1622 01:29:01,768 --> 01:29:02,935 I guess maybe 1623 01:29:03,003 --> 01:29:05,254 We should've let each other know 1624 01:29:05,322 --> 01:29:08,624 How much we were hurtin', but... 1625 01:29:08,692 --> 01:29:11,060 We were both too busy acting like jerks. 1626 01:29:12,679 --> 01:29:14,213 I apologize for that. 1627 01:29:14,281 --> 01:29:16,616 Me, too, dad. 1628 01:29:18,869 --> 01:29:21,804 Well, maybe I can start making it up 1629 01:29:21,872 --> 01:29:22,872 To you a little bit. 1630 01:29:22,939 --> 01:29:25,408 Al just offered me a partnership 1631 01:29:25,476 --> 01:29:26,543 In the business. 1632 01:29:26,610 --> 01:29:29,612 I guess he figures it's time for him 1633 01:29:29,630 --> 01:29:31,313 To start taking it a little easy. 1634 01:29:31,381 --> 01:29:33,966 Anyway, if I take it, it'll mean 1635 01:29:34,034 --> 01:29:37,036 I won't be going out on the road anymore. 1636 01:29:37,103 --> 01:29:39,105 I'll retire the yellow bird. 1637 01:29:39,172 --> 01:29:42,058 What do you think about that? 1638 01:29:42,126 --> 01:29:44,009 I think it'd be great. 1639 01:29:44,078 --> 01:29:48,064 There's something else I ought to tell you. 1640 01:29:48,131 --> 01:29:49,666 [sighs] 1641 01:29:49,733 --> 01:29:52,168 You see, when we decided 1642 01:29:52,236 --> 01:29:54,320 To blow the plumbing out of the gym, 1643 01:29:54,388 --> 01:29:55,655 Groves and Featherstone 1644 01:29:55,723 --> 01:29:57,156 Wanted to use one cherry bomb. 1645 01:29:57,224 --> 01:29:58,491 I figured it would take at least 10 1646 01:29:58,559 --> 01:29:59,659 To make any noise. 1647 01:29:59,727 --> 01:30:00,826 We blew the toilet 1648 01:30:00,894 --> 01:30:03,996 Clean through the floor of the basketball court. 1649 01:30:04,064 --> 01:30:06,165 I can't believe you did that. 1650 01:30:06,233 --> 01:30:07,600 Jeez, we got expelled. 1651 01:30:07,668 --> 01:30:09,168 The old man whaled on me, 1652 01:30:09,236 --> 01:30:10,736 I couldn't sit for a week. 1653 01:30:10,804 --> 01:30:13,172 I love you, dad. 1654 01:30:13,240 --> 01:30:16,141 And then in English class, 1655 01:30:16,210 --> 01:30:17,610 I sat way in the back... 1656 01:30:19,580 --> 01:30:23,015 I love you, too, son. 1657 01:30:23,083 --> 01:30:25,017 And about every 10 minutes, 1658 01:30:25,085 --> 01:30:28,187 I'd come out with these frog noises. 1659 01:30:28,255 --> 01:30:29,789 Knee-deep, knee-deep. 1660 01:30:31,592 --> 01:30:33,193 TV announcer: What an exciting game 1661 01:30:33,260 --> 01:30:34,627 We have going on here tonight. 1662 01:30:38,065 --> 01:30:39,465 Is that guy next door 1663 01:30:39,533 --> 01:30:42,384 Mowin' his lawn on Christmas? 1664 01:30:42,452 --> 01:30:43,820 I don't think so. 1665 01:30:45,455 --> 01:30:47,223 Telegram goes with it. 1666 01:30:47,291 --> 01:30:48,157 With what? 1667 01:30:53,113 --> 01:30:54,480 What is this? 1668 01:30:54,548 --> 01:30:55,498 "dear Al, 1669 01:30:55,565 --> 01:30:57,032 "thanks for the help. 1670 01:30:57,100 --> 01:30:58,217 "love, Santa. 1671 01:30:58,285 --> 01:31:03,223 P.S. There's a little something for you outside"? 1672 01:31:03,290 --> 01:31:06,859 Helen, you'd better tell me what's going on. 1673 01:31:06,927 --> 01:31:09,095 What are you grinning at? 1674 01:31:23,327 --> 01:31:25,594 What is this? 1675 01:31:25,662 --> 01:31:27,996 This, my darling, 1676 01:31:28,064 --> 01:31:30,599 Is your own personal white Christmas 1677 01:31:30,667 --> 01:31:32,435 From everybody at Willow creek. 1678 01:31:32,536 --> 01:31:33,769 Well, I'll be. 1679 01:31:33,837 --> 01:31:34,770 Snow. 1680 01:31:34,838 --> 01:31:36,405 It's not snow, darling. 1681 01:31:36,473 --> 01:31:37,540 It's love. 1682 01:31:48,134 --> 01:31:49,552 Well, I hope it packs down 1683 01:31:49,620 --> 01:31:52,689 'cause I haven't thrown a snowball in 20 years. 1684 01:31:52,756 --> 01:31:53,957 Hey. 1685 01:31:54,024 --> 01:31:58,027 You California kids don't know nothing about this. 1686 01:31:58,061 --> 01:32:00,128 Gather around and watch a pro. 1687 01:32:00,196 --> 01:32:01,530 You gotta pack it tight. 1688 01:32:01,531 --> 01:32:03,583 Pack it. That's the secret. 1689 01:32:04,818 --> 01:32:06,619 And away you go. 1690 01:32:06,687 --> 01:32:07,886 Oh, ho ho! 1691 01:32:07,954 --> 01:32:09,405 Ok, wise guy, 1692 01:32:09,472 --> 01:32:10,723 You asked for it. 1693 01:32:33,280 --> 01:32:34,764 %% we wish you a Merry Christmas %% 1694 01:32:34,832 --> 01:32:36,699 %% we wish you a Merry Christmas %% 1695 01:32:36,767 --> 01:32:38,800 %% we wish you a Merry Christmas %% 1696 01:32:38,868 --> 01:32:40,769 %% and a Happy New Year %% 1697 01:32:40,838 --> 01:32:44,741 %% good tidings to you, wherever you are %% 1698 01:32:44,808 --> 01:32:48,911 %% good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year %% 1699 01:32:48,979 --> 01:32:50,780 %% we wish you a Merry Christmas %% 1700 01:32:50,848 --> 01:32:52,715 %% we wish you a Merry Christmas %% 1701 01:32:52,783 --> 01:32:54,516 %% we wish you a Merry Christmas %% 1702 01:32:54,584 --> 01:32:56,585 %% and a Happy New Year %% 1703 01:32:56,654 --> 01:32:58,454 %% we wish you a Merry Christmas %% 1704 01:32:58,521 --> 01:33:00,389 %% we wish you a Merry Christmas %% 1705 01:33:00,457 --> 01:33:02,191 %% we wish you a Merry Christmas %% 1706 01:33:02,259 --> 01:33:04,193 %% and a Happy New Year %% 1707 01:33:04,261 --> 01:33:08,264 %% good tidings to you, wherever you are %% 1708 01:33:08,332 --> 01:33:10,266 %% good tidings for Christmas %% 1709 01:33:10,333 --> 01:33:12,268 %% and a Happy New Year %% 1710 01:33:12,335 --> 01:33:14,036 %% we wish you a Merry Christmas %% 1711 01:33:14,104 --> 01:33:16,072 %% we wish you a Merry Christmas %% 1712 01:33:16,139 --> 01:33:17,874 %% we wish you a Merry Christmas %% 1713 01:33:17,941 --> 01:33:21,126 %% and a Happy New Year %% 1714 01:33:28,001 --> 01:33:29,126 ---the end--- 160477

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