Original subtitles

WE'VE GOT TO STOP MEETING LIKE THIS.

OH, COME ON, MARY LOU.

WE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO STOP MEETING LIKE THIS.

WELL, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT.

WE HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.

HENRY, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

I WANT TO GET MARRIED.

WELL, SO DO I, MORE THAN ANYTHING.

LOOK, OUR PARENTS HATE EACH OTHER

AND WE'RE THE ONES WHO SUFFER.

WE'VE GOT TO ELOPE.

HON, WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THAT.

IF I RAN OFF WITH YOU

MY FOLKS WOULD CUT ME OFF WITHOUT A PENNY.

NO MONEY, NO JOURNALISM SCHOOL.

NO JOURNALISM SCHOOL, NO FUTURE.

OF COURSE, UH...

WELL, I WAS THINKING THAT IF WE DID ELOPE

AND THEN WE SOLD THIS CAR OF YOURS, WE COULD...

ARE YOU KIDDING?

IF I RAN AWAY WITH YOU

MY FOLKS WOULD HAVE THIS CAR REPOSSESSED

FASTER THAN WE COULD GET IT OUT OF THE GARAGE.

OH.

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

( distant whirring )

OH, MY GOSH!

OH, MY GOSH!

WHAT IS IT?

IT'S A U.F.O.

LIKE THE ONE JAKE SAW LAST NIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M GOING TO GET A PICTURE OF IT.

NO, HENRY.

STAY HERE.

ARE YOU NUTS?

THIS IS THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME!

HENRY, NO...!

NO, HENRY!

HENRY!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

HENRY.

PLEASE COME BACK.

( thunderclap )

* WONDER WOMAN *

* WONDER WOMAN *

* WONDER WOMAN *

* WONDER WOMAN *

* WONDER WOMAN *

* WONDER WOMAN *

TERROR AND TRAGEDY SEEM QUITE OUT OF PLACE

IN THE SMALL, QUIET TOWN OF BARRYVILLE.

YET FOR THE PAST WEEK

STRANGE LIGHT FORMATIONS HAVE VIOLATED ITS NIGHT SKIES.

MORE U.F.O.s HAVE BEEN SIGHTED HERE IN THE LAST FIVE DAYS

THAN WERE SIGHTED IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY THIS PAST YEAR.

BUT LAST NIGHT THE TERROR HERE IN BARRYVILLE

REACHED NEW DIMENSIONS

WHEN ONE OF ITS CITIZENS, HENRY WILSON

INEXPLICABLY AND PERHAPS TRAGICALLY DISAPPEARED.

EXCUSE ME.

EXCUSE ME.

MRS. WILSON?

YES.

I'M DIANA PRINCE OF THE I.A.D.C. I KNOW THAT YOU'RE VERY UPSET

BUT I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS.

IS THAT ALRIGHT?

I SUPPOSE.

A FEW WORDS WITH YOU, PLEASE.

IT WAS YOUR SON WHO DISAPPEARED...

ARE WE ROLLING?

IT WAS YOUR SON WHO DISAPPEARED

IN, IN THOSE U.F.O. SIGHTINGS LAST NIGHT?

YES.

COULD YOU SPEAK JUST A BIT LOUDER

FOR OUR CAMERAS, PLEASE?

YES, IT WAS MY SON HENRY.

WHAT MAKES YOU ASSUME THAT HE WAS ABDUCTED

BY CREATURES FROM OUTER SPACE?

HENRY SAID HE WAS GOING TO THE LIBRARY.

HE WAS A STUDENT AT STATE, YOU KNOW.

HE STUDIES SO HARD.

I, I KNOW IT'S VERY PAINFUL, MRS. WILSON

BUT PLEASE GO ON.

WELL, HENRY ALWAYS WALKED TO THE LIBRARY.

IN FACT, HE WALKED ALMOST EVERYWHERE

ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT.

BUT WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE HE WAS ABDUCTED?

WELL, BECAUSE TO GET TO THE LIBRARY

HE'D HAVE HAD TO PASS BY THAT FIELD

WHERE OUR NEIGHBOR JAKE SAW ONE OF THOSE THINGS

THE NIGHT BEFORE.

OH, IT'S LIKE HENRY WAS JUST PICKED UP

AND WHISKED AWAY BY SOME AWFUL CREATURE!

Reporter: BUT WHAT OF THE FACT

THAT YOUR SON HENRY

MAY BE THE WORLD'S FIRST INTERGALACTIC SPACE TRAVELER?

ISN'T THAT SOME SOLACE TO YOU, MRS. WILSON?

( moans )

WOULD YOU HOLD THE PICTURE

TO OUR CAMERAS, PLEASE?

PLEASE.

I JUST WANT HIM BACK.

HE BELONGS HERE IN BARRYVILLE.

NOT OUT THERE.

DID YOU SAY YOU WERE WITH THE GOVERNMENT?

YES, THE I.A.D.C.

I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT ABOUT THOSE SIGHTINGS.

I'VE BEEN HOPING AN OUTSIDER LIKE YOU WOULD SHOW UP.

WHY?

WHAT I KNOW I CAN'T SAY TO ANYBODY IN TOWN.

WHAT? ABOUT THIS ABDUCTION NONSENSE?

IT ISN'T NONSENSE.

HENRY REALLY WAS CAPTURED BY A U.F.O.

I HAVE PROOF.

IF ANYONE IN TOWN EVER FOUND OUT HENRY WAS IN MY CAR LAST NIGHT

MY FOLKS WOULD NEVER LET ME OUT OF THE HOUSE AGAIN.

THAT'S WHY I'VE HAD TO KEEP THIS A SECRET.

TAPE RECORDER?

SEE, HENRY'S A JOURNALISM STUDENT.

HE AND HIS EQUIPMENT ARE INSEPARABLE.

HE SAYS HE ALWAYS WANTS TO BE READY

FOR THE BIG STORY.

YOU MEAN HE HAD THIS WITH HIM

WHEN HE WAS CARRIED OFF BY THAT U.F.O. YOU SAW?

UH-HUH. WELL, HE MUST HAVE DROPPED IT.

PLAY IT.

( click )

Object in front of me is about 14 feet by 20.

Made of a, of a metallic substance similar to, uh

well, well, it looks like silver rubber.

It's oblong and ringed with blinding red and white lights.

and, and now... wait.

Something's coming out of the bottom.

It... yes.

Beings.

Beings from another planet.

Uh, they're small, about 5'4"

grayish with, with no features.

Th-they're coming closer.

It's okay...

( click )

YOU SEE?

THEY REALLY DID TAKE HIM.

Man: Attention!

Emergency alert in progress.

Please clear the streets.

WHERE OUTSIDE BARRYVILLE?

I don't know.

WELL, QUIT PICKING YOUR TOES AND FIND OUT.

I'M IN BARRYVILLE RIGHT NOW

IN CASE YOU IMBECILES BACK THERE HAVE FORGOTTEN.

EXCUSE ME.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY STARSHIPS, THAT'S ALL.

IT'S THE BIGGEST NEWS STORY SINCE THE FLOOD.

WHAT?

YOU DON'T HAVE A TELEVISION?

THERE'S A BATTLE GOING ON

BETWEEN US AND THE ALIENS FROM OUTER SPACE

SOMEWHERE IN THESE HILLS

AND WE'RE LOSING.

AND WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE.

COME ON, MACK.

HOW ABOUT SHOWING ME WHERE A PHONE IS.

OKAY, COME ON.

HEY, HEY, YOU'RE NOT PART OF A NEWS TEAM, ARE YOU?

( gunfire )

WHEN DID IT START?

ABOUT TEN MINUTES AGO.

FIRST IT WAS ONLY ON CBS

BUT NOW ALL THE NETWORKS HAVE A FEED.

THEY'RE CONVINCED IT'S FOR REAL, COLONEL.

I've never seen anything like it.

The starships are annihilating everything in their path.

Nothing can escape their lasers

Lord help us all.

I don't think anything can stop them.

( intercom buzzes )

Yeah?

No, not now. Hold all my calls.

The small group of farmers and deputies

who are making a courageous stand

in this field here are certainly no match

for the incredibly devastating weaponry

that is being displayed by this group of aliens.

ALRIGHT.

WE'RE ALL ON RED ALERT

UNTIL SOMEBODY GETS TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS THING.

ABOVE ALL, STAY CALM.

ALL WE KNOW IS WHAT WE'VE SEEN ON TELEVISION.

IT'S PROBABLY SOME KIND OF A HOAX

OR A COLOSSAL MISTAKE.

AT ANY RATE, WE ALL HAVE OUR JOBS TO DO

SO LET'S DO THEM.

UH, BOBBIE

I WANT YOU TO CONTACT THE MEDIA, ESPECIALLY TELEVISION.

TELL THEM TO BOTTLE THIS THING UP.

WE DON'T WANT MASS HYSTERIA.

NOW, IF THEY ASK FOR A STATEMENT

SIMPLY SAY THE GOVERNMENT DOES NOT CONFIRM ANY OF IT.

RIGHT, COLONEL.

BOBBIE, ONE MORE THING.

I WANT YOU TO FIND THE TELEVISION FEED

THAT THE NETWORKS HAVE BEEN PICKING UP.

ALREADY HAVE, COLONEL.

APPARENTLY, AN UNLICENSED PIRATE STATION IN PENNSYLVANIA

IS RELAYING THE BROADCAST.

WHERE IN PENNSYLVANIA?

JUST OUTSIDE BARRYVILLE, WHERE YOU SENT DIANA.

THE BROADCAST STOPPED ABRUPTLY ABOUT TEN MINUTES AGO

BUT ACCORDING TO OUR SATELLITE SENSORS

THE FEED ORIGINATED AT AN UNLICENSED TRANSMITTER

about nine miles west of Barryville.

WELL, I WANT TO HEAR BACK FROM YOU

IN EXACTLY ONE HOUR.

IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?

OKAY.

GOOD-BYE.

DIANA'S TRYING TO LOCATE THE PEOPLE

WHO ARE BROADCASTING THAT BATTLE.

AND SHE ALSO SAID TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT

FOR A TAPE THAT SHE HAD MESSENGERED OVER HERE.

SHE WANTS THE LAB BOYS

TO TEST ITS AUTHENTICITY.

WILL DO.

MEANWHILE, THERE'S ABOUT TEN ZILLION PEOPLE

TO SEE YOU ABOUT THIS INVASION, ONE OF WHOM IS A U.F.O. MAN--

COLONEL ROBERT ELLIOT.

OH, GOOD.

OH, NO.

I'LL GET HIM.

THERE'LL BE A RIOT IF YOU POKE YOUR HEAD OUT THERE.

COLONEL ELLIOT, HE'LL SEE YOU NOW.

LONG TIME, COLONEL.

IT HAS.

IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.

ALRIGHT, NOW

AS THE AIR FORCE'S LEADING EXPERT IN U.F.O.s

DO YOU HAVE ANY THEORIES?

WELL, ALL I CAN SAY IS I'M ON MY WAY TO THE AIRPORT

THEN TO PITTSBURGH, AND ON TO BARRYVILLE

FOR A FIRSTHAND LOOK AT WHATEVER WE'RE UP AGAINST.

I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

I WAS HOPING YOU WERE IN ON THIS THING

TO PROVE IT A HOAX.

I'M AFRAID NOT.

ONE OF OUR PILOTS

HAS SPOTTED WHAT LOOKS LIKE THE BATTLE SITE

IN THE FOOTHILLS OF THE ALLEGHENIES.

THAT IS A FACT WHICH I TRUST

WILL GO NO FURTHER THAN THIS OFFICE.

WELL, OF COURSE.

YOU MEAN THERE REALLY IS AN INVASION?

WELL, AGAIN, ALL I CAN SAY

IS THAT WE'RE FACING A SITUATION HERE

THAT WARRANTS SWIFT AND CAREFUL INVESTIGATION.

CAN'T THE AUTHORITIES IN PENNSYLVANIA HANDLE IT?

WELL, WE HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE

TO REACH ANY OF OUR PEOPLE THERE.

THE MATTER IS MUCH TOO DELICATE

TO ENLIST THE STATE'S LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES.

WE CAN'T RISK PANICKING THE PUBLIC ANY FURTHER.

I'M SORRY TO BLINDSIDE YOU LIKE THIS, COLONEL

BUT I COULDN'T DISCUSS IT WITH YOU ON THE PHONE.

YEAH, I UNDERSTAND.

NOW, LET ME ASK YOU THIS.

ARE YOU BEING SENT TO BARRYVILLE

BECAUSE OF YOUR PAST WORK WITH PROJECT "BLUE BOOK"

OR BECAUSE OF YOUR PRESENT INVOLVEMENT

WITH OUR NUCLEAR WEAPONS PROGRAM?

WELL, LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.

MY SUPERIORS FELT THAT NOT ONLY WAS I THE BEST PERSON

TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WE'RE UP AGAINST

BUT THEY ALSO FELT THAT I WAS THE BEST PERSON

TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO ELIMINATE IT.

I HAVE TO GO, COLONEL.

YOU KNOW, I JUST GOT WORD

THAT SOMEONE IN BARRYVILLE

WAS APPARENTLY ABDUCTED LAST NIGHT BY A U.F.O.

AND I DIDN'T GIVE IT MUCH CREDENCE UNTIL NOW.

HOW DID YOU COME BY THAT INFORMATION?

WE SENT ONE OF OUR AGENTS UP THERE

TO SEE IF THERE IS ANYTHING TO THE U.F.O. SIGHTINGS.

( tire explodes )

( thunderclap )

( horn honking )

Man: MY LORD... THEY WIPED OUT EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM.

A HANDFUL OF DEFENSELESS FARMERS, COUNTY DEPUTIES

DESTROYED LIKE PAPER DOLLS.

WELL, NOT NECESSARILY, GENERAL.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THE TV CREW.

WHOEVER RECORDED THE BATTLE IS NOT HERE.

IT LOOKS AS IF THEY, AND ONLY THEY, GOT OUT ALIVE.

HMM.

ALMOST AS IF THOSE MONSTERS WANTED TO MAKE SURE

THE WHOLE WORLD WITNESSED THIS.

WELL, THIS IS WHAT I SUGGEST WE DO, GENERAL.

WE CORDON OFF AN AREA

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT RIDGE THERE

TO DECOY THE PUBLIC.

IT'LL GIVE US A CHANCE TO TAKE SOIL SAMPLES

AND TEST FOR RADIOACTIVITY WITHOUT CAUSING A PANIC.

AND ABOVE ALL, WE HAVE TO LOCATE THAT TV CREW.

THEY'RE THE ONLY TRUE WITNESSES WE HAVE.

FINE, ELLIOT.

WE'LL LEAD THE PUBLIC TO BELIEVE THE WHOLE THING A HOAX

UNTIL WE KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAS HAPPENED.

BUT IN THE MEANTIME

I'M CALLING THE JOINT CHIEFS.

WE'VE GOT TO PUT TOGETHER SOME KIND OF DEFENSE.

QUIETLY, OF COURSE.

I, UH...

WAS TOLD I COULD COUNT ON YOU

WHERE NUCLEAR STRATEGY WAS CONCERNED.

YOU APPARENTLY ARE ONE OF THE FEW

WITH ACCESS TO KOONTZVILLE.

YES, SIR, THAT'S CORRECT.

I PRAY IT DOESN'T COME TO THAT, NUCLEAR WEAPONS.

OF COURSE, ELLIOT.

SO DO I.

BUT THEY MIGHT BE OUR ONLY RECOURSE

IN LIGHT OF WHAT WE'VE SEEN HERE.

WELL, LET'S GET THINGS ROLLING.

UH, COLONEL

IF YOU'D LIKE TO LOOK AROUND A LITTLE MORE

I CAN GO BACK WITH THEM, MAKE SOME CALLS

CHECK BACK FOR YOU IN AN HOUR.

YEAH.

I'D LIKE THAT, JERRY.

THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW...

I SPENT 13 YEARS WITH PROJECT "BLUE BOOK"

INVESTIGATING PHENOMENA THAT'S TURNED OUT TO BE

EVERYTHING FROM WEATHER SATELLITES

TO FLOCKS OF GEESE.

ALWAYS FINDING AN EXPLANATION

AND ALWAYS HOPING, DEEP DOWN INSIDE ME...

THAT I WOULDN'T.

BUT THIS...

( engine starts )

MAYBE THIS...

IS FINALLY THE REAL THING.

I'M TELLING YOU, LET ME OUT OF HERE!

DO YOU HEAR ME?!

I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING.

I'M BIGGER THAN YOU, AND YOU DON'T FRIGHTEN ME.

OKAY... OKAY, SO YOU GOT ME ON THAT ONE.

( panting )

( mechanized male voice ): COME NO CLOSER, COLONEL ELLIOT.

IF THE OTHERS SEE US HERE

YOU WILL SURELY BE DESTROYED.

YOU... YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

OUR SUPERIORS HAVE BEEN MONITORING YOU

AND OTHERS IN YOUR GOVERNMENT.

THAT IS HOW WE KNOW YOU CAN HELP US.

HOW, HOW I CAN HELP YOU?

OUR SUPERIORS INTEND TO DESTROY

ALL LIFE ON YOUR PLANET

IN ORDER TO MINE ITS METAL BEARING RESOURCES.

THEY MUST BE STOPPED.

NOT ONLY TO SAVE YOUR PLANET

BUT TO SHOW OTHERS IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM

THAT SUCH SLAUGHTER WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

WHAT CAN I DO?

DESTROY OUR STARSHIP FLEET

BEFORE IT LAUNCHES ITS MAJOR ATTACK.

HOW?

SEND NUCLEAR WARHEADS

TO A LOCATION 1-1-8 DEGREES LONGITUDE

4-2 DEGREES LATITUDE.

THAT'S IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA.

OUR SUPERIORS' PLAN

TO LAUNCH THE ATTACK FROM HERE WAS FOILED.

THEY INTEND NOW TO LAND AT THOSE COORDINATES.

NUCLEAR WARHEADS WILL DESTROY NOT ONLY THE STARSHIP

BUT... MILLIONS OF INNOCENT PEOPLE AS WELL.

WERE YOU TO TRY TO WARN THEM

OUR SUPERIORS WOULD FIND OUT

AND SIMPLY LAND SOMEWHERE ELSE.

YOU MUST LAUNCH THE WARHEADS

WITHIN TWO HOURS.

AND YOU MUST TELL NO ONE.

MUST BE SOME OTHER WAY.

SAVING BILLIONS OF LIVES THROUGHOUT THE UNIVERSE

CANNOT BE ACHIEVED WITHOUT SACRIFICE.

THE TWO OF US WILL BE ON THE MOTHER SHIP

WHEN YOU DESTROY IT.

THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.

I JUST DON'T KNOW IF I CAN.

YOU WERE HOPING BEFORE

THAT THIS WOULD FINALLY BE THE REAL THING.

TO OUR MUTUAL SORROW, COLONEL, INDEED IT IS.

( jeep approaching )

COLONEL, YOU READY TO GO BACK?

YES.

YES, I AM.

I'VE GOT A LOT TO DO.

ANYTHING NEW ON THE INVASION BROADCAST?

NOTHING NEW, COLONEL.

GOOD, THAT'S JUST WHAT I FINISHED TELLING THEM.

HERE'S SOME MORE MATERIAL IRA TRACKED DOWN

ON THE PIRATE STATION OUTSIDE BARRYVILLE.

HERE'S OUR LUNCH

AND HERE, I'M TOLD, IS DIANA.

YOU'RE EXACTLY 25 MINUTES LATE.

YES, I KNOW.

THE WORST OF IT IS THAT I RAN INTO SOME CAR TROUBLE

WHILE I WAS TRYING TO LOCATE THAT PIRATE TRANSMITTER.

I NEVER GOT THERE, WHEREVER IT IS.

WELL, YOU COULD HAVE SAID

YOU RAN INTO SOME LITTLE GREEN MEN FROM OUTER SPACE.

YES, I SUPPOSE I COULD HAVE.

STEVE, SOMEBODY HAS TAKEN SOME PRETTY DEFINITE STEPS

TO SEE THAT PEOPLE DON'T GET NEAR THAT TRANSMITTER.

My car trouble was very well planned.

HEY, IRA JUST DUG UP SOME INTERESTING CLUES

THAT MIGHT RELATE TO THE TRANSMITTER'S OPERATION.

SUCH AS?

Such as a large amount of heavy duty electronic equipment

recently purchased and believed to be moved

to the Barryville area.

THAT'S THE KIND OF ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENT

THAT COULD PUT A TV STATION INTO OPERATION.

It seems that several low-profile types are involved.

BY LOW-PROFILE I MEAN PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE AFFILIATIONS.

SHADY CHARACTERS, THAT SORT OF THING.

ANYONE IN PARTICULAR?

ONE OF THEM IS MASON STEELE.

I'VE HEARD OF HIM.

HE'S AN ULTRA RIGHT-WING FANATIC.

HE'S ALSO ON THE F.B.I.'s "KEEP AN EYE ON" LIST.

YEAH, ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE'S SOMETHING INVOLVING COMMUNIST CHINA.

I'LL TAKE ANOTHER SHOT AT LOCATING

THAT PIRATE TRANSMITTER.

HAS MY TAPE ARRIVED YET?

No, not yet.

BOY, WITH EVERYTHING I'VE HEARD TODAY

THE IDEA OF SOMEONE BEING KIDNAPPED BY A STARSHIP

IS BEGINNING TO SOUND TAME.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

AT LEAST LET ME HAVE SOME AIR IN HERE!

I'M SUFFOCATING!

DO YOU HEAR ME?

I'M GOING TO DIE ON YOU IF YOU DON'T GET ME SOME AIR!

THAT'S MORE LIKE IT, YOU CREEPS.

AIR...

I PRESUME YOU'RE TRESPASSING

BECAUSE YOU'RE UNBEARABLY ANXIOUS TO MEET US.

THEREFORE, MY NAME IS MASON...

STEELE.

AND YOUR NAME?

I KNOW HER.

SHE'S DIANA PRINCE WITH THE I.A.D.C.

THAT'S RIGHT.

WE'RE ON TO YOU, MR. STEELE.

OH, I DON'T THINK SO.

I THINK MY NAME WAS ONLY ONE OF A DOZEN OR SO

THAT YOUR AGENCY PULLED OUT OF A HAT.

WELL, JUST SO THAT YOU'RE NOT TOO SURPRISED

WHEN THE OTHERS GET HERE.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE CAUGHT HERE

SNOOPING TO THROW ME OFF GUARD.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BELIEVE, MISS PRINCE?

I THINK NOT.

I THINK YOU BUNGLED

ACROSS MY LITTLE WAREHOUSE ACCIDENTALLY

AND YOU SHALL LEAVE THE SAME WAY.

ACCIDENTALLY.

A TRAGEDY, OF COURSE.

BUT ALL THAT WILL HAVE TO WAIT

UNTIL I FINISH MY WORK HERE.

YOU WILL BE PRIVILEGED TO OBSERVE

HOW THESE FACILITIES WORK.

I'D LIKE THAT VERY MUCH.

WHAT YOU'D LIKE VERY MUCH

IS TO COME ACROSS A MEANS OF ESCAPE.

BUT YOU WON'T.

ONLY ABOUT 20 MORE MILES, COLONEL.

THAT ROAD MAY COME UP A LITTLE BEFORE THAT.

I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

YOU KNOW THE SIGNIFICANCE OF KOONTZVILLE, JERRY?

ONLY THAT IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH NUCLEAR MISSILES.

LESS THAN A DOZEN PEOPLE KNOW WHERE IT IS.

EVEN FEWER KNOW HOW TO UNLEASH WHAT LIES THERE.

IS THAT WHY WE'RE GOING THERE, COLONEL?

JUST DRIVE FASTER.

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, EVERYBODY.

LOOK ALIVE, WE'VE GOT A SHOW TO GET ON THE AIR.

Man: JIM, ARE WE ON?

CAN ANYBODY HEAR US, JIM?

I DON'T KNOW IF WE'RE TRANSMITTING ANYMORE

BUT IN CASE WE ARE

IN CASE ANYONE OUT THERE CAN HEAR ME

THERE ARE ONLY TWO OF US LEFT.

WE'VE BEEN HIDING

EVER SINCE THE STARSHIPS DEVASTATED

THAT PITIFULLY OUTMATCHED GROUP OF MEN THIS MORNING.

AND WE'VE BEEN WATCHING.

WATCHING AS MORE AND MORE STARSHIPS GATHER.

THEY APPEAR TO BE, UM, RENDEZVOUSING...

OF COURSE, IT'LL BE MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE

WHEN WE ADD THE SOUND EFFECTS

AND KEY IN THE STARSHIPS BEHIND THEM.

WE'LL DO THAT AT THE TRANSMITTER DOWN THE ROAD

WHEN WE BROADCAST.

AND, OF COURSE, YOU WILL BE SURE

TO SCRAMBLE THE TRANSMISSION WITH ENOUGH ELECTRONIC STATIC

SO THAT NO ONE CAN TELL IT'S A TAPED TRANSMISSION

AND NOT A LIVE BROADCAST, CORRECT?

A GROSSLY UNDERRATED MEDIUM, TELEVISION.

THE STARSHIPS ARE FLYING OUT OF SIGHT

OVER THE HORIZON.

NOT SIMPLY UPWARDS INTO THE HEAVENS...

IF ANYONE OUT THERE CAN HEAR ME

WHAT I'VE SEEN TODAY, THIS NIGHTMARE OF

OF WANTON DESTRUCTION

THIS DISPLAY OF, OF MERCILESS, MINDLESS VIOLENCE--

FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN TODAY

I'M TERRIFIED...

NOT FOR MYSELF.

AS I'VE SAID, THE STARSHIPS APPEAR TO BE LEAVING THIS AREA.

I'M TERRIFIED FOR THE WHOLE OF HUMANITY.

I'M TERRIFIED THAT I'VE JUST SEEN

THE BEGINNING OF THE END FOR ALL OF US.

JIM, THEY'VE SEEN US!

GET OUT, JIM! GET OUT!

OKAY, CUT IT.

ED SAYS HE'LL SWEETEN THAT LAST BIT

WITH THE SPECIAL EFFECTS.

GOOD. GET IT TO THE TRANSMITTER QUICKLY.

I WANT THIS BROADCAST ON THE AIR

IN LESS THAN HALF AN HOUR.

THE FIRST BATTLE, WE SHOT A LOT OF EXTERIORS.

AND YOU SAW, VERY IMPRESSIVE.

SO, YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE

FOR THE U.F.O. SIGHTINGS OVER BARRYVILLE.

IT WAS MEANT TO WHET THE PUBLIC'S APPETITE

FOR MY LITTLE INVASION.

I SEE.

YOU MADE A U.F.O. OUT OF A BLIMP AND SOME COLORED LIGHTS.

COMBINED WITH THE APPROPRIATE SOUND EFFECTS

IT COULD EVEN FOOL A MARTIAN OR TWO.

THE KID GOT AWAY.

IT'S ALRIGHT.

IF AND WHEN HE REACHES THE AUTHORITIES

IT'LL BE TOO LATE.

THE YOUNG MAN THAT YOU SAW EARLIER

HE CAME ACROSS OUR U.F.O. UNEXPECTEDLY.

IT WAS NECESSARY TO DETAIN HIM.

AND THE REST OF YOUR CAST?

THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO DISCOURAGE POTENTIAL MEDDLERS.

THEY, AND CERTAIN FOREIGN OBJECTS IN THE ROAD.

THEY ALSO SERVE A NOBLE PURPOSE.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, MR. STEELE, I'D LIKE TO HEAR YOURS.

WHY THE HOAX?

WHAT CAN YOU POSSIBLY HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH?

WELL, I'LL SPARE YOU THE DETAILS.

SUFFICE IT TO SAY I'M SERVING MY COUNTRY

EVEN AS YOU, PERHAPS.

EXCEPT THAT MY HANDS ARE NOT TIED

WITH RED TAPE AND POLITICAL EXPEDIENCY.

I AM FREE TO ACT

TO DESTROY THE ENEMIES OF THE UNITED STATES

TO DO WHAT EVERY FREEDOM-LOVING PATRIOT KNOWS HAS TO BE DONE.

I HAVE SEEN TO IT THAT AT THE END OF THE DAY

THE ENTIRE HEARTLAND OF RED CHINA

WILL BE OBLITERATED IN NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST.

YOU REALLY ARE INSANE.

WE ALL HAVE OUR PASSIONS.

MINE IS TO SEE

THAT DEMOCRACY OUTLIVES EVERY OTHER FORM OF GOVERNMENT.

THE OTHERS?

THEY PLAY THE LEAD IN A MAGNIFICENT, COSMIC TRAGEDY.

I DON'T EVEN SEE A TOWN LET ALONE A MISSILE SITE.

WELL, YOU'RE SEEING EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SEE-- NOTHING.

MAKE A RIGHT ON THAT DIRT ROAD UP THERE.

EVERYBODY'S ALL SET.

GOOD.

WE'LL JUST SEE TO IT

THAT MISS PRINCE GETS COVERED UP

ALONG WITH THE REST OF OUR TRACKS

AND BE OFF TO THE STATION.

I HAVE AN AVERSION

TO LOUD NOISES, MR. STEELE.

I DARESAY YOU WON'T HEAR THIS ONE FOR LONG.

IN A WAY, FOR YOUR SAKE

I ALMOST HOPE YOU NEVER REALIZE THE TRUTH--

THAT YOU HAVE DONE MORE TO DESTROY DEMOCRACY

THAN ANY COMMUNIST COUNTRY EVER DREAMED OF DOING.

PUT A GAG ON HER MOUTH.

I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THESE OBSCENITIES

FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING

TO SEE THAT HER COUNTRY PREVAILS

ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.

JUST GIVE US TIME ENOUGH TO CLEAR THE BUILDING.

THREE MINUTES.

AT LEAST YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE, IN A SENSE, FOR YOUR COUNTRY

AND THAT'S MORE THAN YOU DESERVE.

( starts engine )

( muffled cries )

( muffled ): HEY!

HEY!

( muffled shout )

I WAS WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU.

IT WAS A GOOD THING I CAME BACK

TO LOOK FOR MY CAMERA.

YOU KNOW, THOSE JERKS BETTER NOT HAVE DAMAGED IT.

IT'S BAD ENOUGH THEY ALREADY DROPPED MY TAPE RECORDER.

( muffled exclamations )

OH, HANG ON. I'LL HAVE YOU FREE IN A SECOND.

( muffled ): OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, LOOK!

WHAT MANIAC TIED THIS...

HOLY CRIMINY.

THAT'S A, IT'S A BOMB!

OH, HOLD ON.

ALRIGHT, NOW, HENRY, JUST THINK.

UM, THAT, UH, THAT NEWS CLIP YOU SAW IN CLASS

ABOUT THE BOMB SQUAD.

WHAT'S THE FIRST THING THAT THEY DID?

UM...

DISCONNECTED THE TIMING DEVICE

FROM THE DETONATOR SWITCH.

UM...

( sighs )

NEVER KNEW MY HEART COULD BEAT SO FAST.

HENRY WILSON, I THINK I LOVE YOU.

YOU KNOW WHO I AM.

THE WHOLE COUNTRY DOES.

EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY TO MARS.

NO KIDDING?

LISTEN, I'VE GOT TO FIND THAT TRANSMITTER THEY'RE USING.

TRANSMITTER?

OH, NO, THERE'S NO...

WAIT A MINUTE, THE OLD BARNES PLACE.

THERE'S A TRANSMITTER THERE?

YEAH, MAYBE.

YOU SEE, A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO

SOME OUT-OF-TOWNERS BOUGHT IT

AND STARTED INSTALLING ALL SORTS OF ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENT.

SAID THAT THEY WERE WITH THE POWER DEPARTMENT.

OKAY, HOW DO I GET THERE?

UH, WELL, LET'S SEE

YOU GO OUT TO THE MAIN ROAD

AND THEN YOU MAKE A LEFT

AND, UH, AND IT'S ABOUT FOUR MILES.

SO, A SHORTCUT WOULD BE STRAIGHT THROUGH THE WOODS?

RIGHT?

WELL, YEAH, I GUESS.

I WANT YOU TO TAKE MY CAR BACK TO TOWN.

YEAH, BUT HOW ARE YOU...?

I HAVE A FRIEND.

IN THE WOODS?

( thunderclap )

WE'RE GOING INSIDE HERE?

YES. AND AN ELEVATOR WILL TAKE US

SEVERAL HUNDRED FEET DOWN TO THE LAUNCH ROOM.

GET YOUR PIECE READY.

WELL, LOOKS LIKE COLONEL ROBERT ELLIOT'S ON HIS WAY DOWN.

FUNNY I DIDN'T GET WORD HE WAS COMING.

WELL, HE HAS "A" TO "Z" CLEARANCE.

HEY, TONY

HE'S ON AGAIN.

I don't know if we're transmitting anymore

but in case we are

in case anyone out there can hear me

there are only two of us left.

Steele: AS IT TURNS OUT, THIS BROADCAST IS JUST ICING ON THE CAKE.

WE HAVEN'T HEARD FROM JERRY YET

WHICH MEANS THEY MUST BE AT THE MISSILE SITE.

HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME, WONDER WOMAN?

THIS IS TREASONOUS!

YOU WEREN'T REALLY PLANNING ON LEAVING

WERE YOU, GENTLEMEN?

WELL, I THINK IT'S TIME SOMEONE STARTED YOU ON YOUR WAY

TO GETTING SOME HELP, STEELE.

SHE MUST BE EXECUTED AS AN EXAMPLE

TO ALL THOSE WHO IDOLIZED HER.

GET HER.

WELL, WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.

( grunts )

( grunts )

COME ON!

ON YOUR FEET.

AND FIGHT!

STOP HER.

( fires )

STOP HER, SOMEONE!

WITH PATRIOTS LIKE YOU, MR. STEELE

THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T NEED ANY ENEMIES.

I WANT YOU TO TELL ME THE WHOLE PLAN

AND IF IT'S NECESSARY

YOU'RE GOING TO PUT ME

IN FRONT OF ONE OF THOSE CAMERAS IN THERE.

SURELY, YOU DON'T INTEND TO LAUNCH THE WARHEADS.

COLONEL, YOU CAN'T.

I'M ONE OF FIVE PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY WHO CAN.

Not for myself.

As I've said, the starships appear to be leaving this area.

I'm terrified... for the whole of humanity.

DANNY, TAKE CARE OF THAT NOISE.

YOU'RE ACTIVATING A FAIL-SAFE MECHANISM THAT...

THAT I HELPED DESIGN.

WHICH I HAVE JUST OVERRIDDEN.

...beginning to the end for all of us.

AND 18 DEGREES LONGITUDE.

Jim, they've seen us!

Just get out, Jim, get out!

32 DEGREES LATITUDE.

IT'LL SOON BE OVER.

HOW I WISH THIS DIDN'T REST ON MY SHOULDERS.

( warbling tuning )

WAIT! COLONEL, LOOK!

...no starships, no battle, no invasion.

TURN IT UP.

The broadcast you were just watching

and the one transmitted earlier today, were part of a hoax.

IT'S A TRICK!

GET ON WITH IT, COLONEL.

( gun fires )

...and there was not going to be a landing in Red China

or anywhere else.

This was all for the benefit

of Colonel Robert Elliot.

He was fooled into going to Koontzville.

I repeat, Colonel Robert Elliot is at Koontzville.

GET ME GENERAL EBERHART, EMERGENCY PRIORITY.

The broadcasts that he and everyone else saw today

were not live.

They were videotapes.

There's no cause for alarm

and no reason to panic.

Colonel Elliot, if you can hear me

your aide is actually working for the man behind all this.

He's been spying on you

manipulating you with the help of some others.

Colonel, please, there has been

and will be, no invasion.

GOOD LORD.

( whirring )

( sighs )

The broadcast you were just watching

and the one transmitted earlier today

were part of a hoax.

( all gasp )

There was never any threat

to Earth from extraterrestrials.

and there was not going to be a landing in Red China

or anywhere else.

And if Mary Lou Tompkins is watching

Henry Wilson is safe.

OH...

( crowd murmurs in relief )

( sighs )

Steve: YEAH, I TALKED TO COLONEL ELLIOT

ABOUT A HALF AN HOUR AGO.

YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO KNOW HOW CLOSE HE CAME

TO FIRING THOSE MISSILES.

WELL, WONDER WOMAN MARCHED MASON STEELE

AND HIS CAST OF THOUSANDS INTO CUSTODY HERE.

WHICH I THINK IS THE MOST EXCITEMENT

BARRYVILLE HAS SEEN

SINCE THE INVENTION OF PEANUT BUTTER.

TELL HER HELLO.

BOBBIE SAYS "HELLO."

SHE'S TAKEN OVER YOUR DESK SINCE YOU LEFT.

When are you coming back?

WELL, I'M NOT SURE.

I THINK I'M GOING TO HAVE

TO STAY TO ATTEND A WEDDING.

BYE.

( hangs up )

* WONDER WOMAN... WONDER WOMAN

* WONDER WOMAN... WONDER WOMAN

* WONDER WOMAN...