All language subtitles for Sin City Saints - 01x01 - The Fool Monty.FiHTV.English.HI.orig.Addic7ed.com

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

The more you run, the more I'm
gonna kill you when I get you!

And I am gonna get you,
you little prick!

I am gonna get you!

[COUGH] Shit!

[MUSIC]

Good evening, Saints Nation,

I'm Gary James, along with my
sidekick, Terrible Tom Curtis,

Who you calling terrible?

Anyway, you're my sidekick,

Big game today,
it's a full house

here in Vegas at Ace Arena,

With a win, the Saints would
have the best record ever for

an expansion team at this
point in the season,

Owner Jake Tullus has
to be on cloud nine,

Thanks to rookie
sensation LaDarius

Pope, who's thankfully
taking away

all the headlines from our

controversial owner,
Jake Tullus,

He calls himself a minority
owner because he's a,

Come on, man,

Oh, he does offend people,

But if the Saints keep winning,

you get the feeling he could
get away with murder,

Okay, look, guys, just remember,
defensive intensity today,

I wanna see Bosh and Birdman

fighting over the
same puke bucket,

And when you set that high pick

and roll for
LaDarius- Hey, Doug,

I'm gonna say a few words
to the team, Doug,

Yeah, I'm going over some
offensive stuff, okay?

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool,

Let me simplify it for you guys,

Give me a- Give the ball to that

guy, or I'll trade
you to Philly,

[LAUGH] Okay?

[LAUGH],

P,J, R-Tuck, my man,

My man!

Working on the handshake,

We'll get back to
it, no big deal,

White Kenny, on fire tonight,

Gary, Derrick B, Barn Door,
what a good year so far,

Good year, This guy, right here,

Mm! My man, LaDarius!

Whoo!

Quick question, show of hands,
who made the All-Star team?

I think it was, was
it, Doug, who was

it, was it, you did, didn't you?

Raise it high, baby,

That's what I'm talking
about right there,

Can a man kiss another man
on the mouth with tongue,

without it being weird?

Come on,

No, Jake, [LAUGH]
Don't even play,

I wanna get serious
for a minute here,

People are always
asking me, Jake,

why would you buy
an expansion team?

You need another toy?

No, I got plenty of toys,

Status symbol?

Come on,

Wanna bed women that are
so far out of my league,

it's like I'm a Make-a-Wish kid
that's about to go off to war,

I'm not that guy,

Am I that guy Kev?

Not anymore Boss,

Not anymore,

I did it because I
missed the anxiety and

the excitement that comes with
trying to build something,

Okay, Something that
matters, something

great, something of substance,

something that
people care about,

And I care about you,

You're that something,

You're my family and I love you,

And, over the weekend, if you
happen to impregnate a woman,

which some of you will,

PJ, I'm talking to you,

[LAUGH],

Make sure she's tall
cuz in 20 years,

I'm gonna draft her
illegitimate children,

[LAUGH], All right, baby?

Yeah, right!

Bring it in,

[APPLAUSE],

Saints on three,

One, two, three,

Saints!

Yeah, here we go, saints!

JP tough!

Bring the pain, White K!

[LAUGH],

AJ!

You got a minute?

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time
to welcome LaDarius Pope and

his world famous Popemobile!

[MUSIC]

[APPLAUSE],

[SOUND],

Oh Jesus, they've
run over the Pope!

What the fu-,

[SOUND],

[MUSIC],

Shit, shit, shit,

What the hell's going on?

Something bad's happened,
something really bad,

Who knew?

Yes,

You? Yes,

Oh,

He wanted to drive, he insisted,

I'm gonna drive the Popemobile,

No, only I drive the Popemobile,

I own the team,

And he wanted to take
the head off and wave!

You never take the head off,

That goes against every
rule of mascot artistry,

Shut up! I need to think,

Jake, Jake, listen to me,

Donald Sterling talked shit
about black people, but

even he never ran one over,

Yeah I know, I know,

I'm usually calm, Kev
and I'm not calm,

You,

Yeah, Put the costume back on,

Put it back on,

Me, why?

Because you ran over LaDarius!

Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, he did,

No, no, you did,

No,

He did!

No,

You did,

You ran over LaDarius,

Uh-huh,

So put the costume back on,

It's tainted with scandal,

You might as well burn it,

Hang on, hang on,

I need to think for a second,

Maybe I should just
tell the truth,

The truth is not an option,

We're gonna pin it on
the weirdo and move on,

Yeah, maybe LaDarius is okay,

Yeah,

Yeah,

[SOUND],

Okay,

This is why you hired me,

I'll get rid of him,

Okay,

You're gonna kill me?

You can't kill me,

Who's gonna water my plant?

It's one of my steps,

I'm supposed to take
care of something,

I'm not going to kill you,

although it's not
a terrible idea,

You just need to disappear for a
while until things calm down,

I can't be the fall guy!

Can you for $20,000?

It's not about money,

The press will kill me,

I'll be a pariah,

And if my friend and

family think I've done this,

they'll assume I'm
on meth again,

Hey, I promise, we will
protect your identity, okay?

No one will know,

I don't trust the rich,

Andy, you have my word,
you have to trust me,

I know the struggle,

I grew up middle class,

Jake gave you his word,

Yeah,

Your name's gonna
remain clean, okay?

And look at it this
way, you could go

anywhere you want
in the whole world,

Anywhere,

Isn't there a place you've
always dreamed of going?

Yeah,

Fiji,

Okay, Yay!

No, the Maldives,

Fine, Oh, yeah, No,
Salt Lake City,

All right,

Fiji,

I love those square
water bottles,

Okay, okay, good,

We'll fly you down
on my private jet,

Think about it as a long,
well deserved vacation,

With a lot of square
water bottles,

[LAUGH] Tons of them,

Yeah, you can walk around
all day with my 20 grand,

Yeah, I'd rather walk around
with your hundred grand,

Do not make any
comments at this time,

I ask you, please be patient,

Okay, Fine,

Not a word, okay,

Take the jet, fly with him I,
I don't want any screw-ups,

No, done,

And the shoes?

He wants the shoes,

Give him the damn shoes,

Okay,

There you go,

I am so sorry that I
ran over LeDarius,

Good, Convincing,

I like that, I'm starting
to believe I can do this,

I know,

That's because I ran him over,

Yeah?

Yes,

Get out of here, Go,

The secret's safe,

It's about three,

Text me when your wheel's up,

Jeff, Jeff,

Get rid of that, please,

All right,

Ow, [MUSIC]

End of the half,
Saints down by 32,

We're getting a taste of this
team without LaDarius Pope,

Does the League
have a mercy rule?

Hey guys, will you get
a call from Jake?

No, thank you,

Is Pope out for the season?

Okay, calm down,

Is it season-ending?

[MUSIC]

Has anybody seen Jake?

No,

Note the building is
crawling with press,

This is a PR nightmare,

Okay, we need to
control the message,

Oh shit, this kid Big
Nick already made a Vine,

Who cares?

He has almost 2
million followers,

Henry, anything to do
social media wise?

No,

Nothing,

Really?

Okay,

What's the plan?

Is there a plan?

Why am I not hearing
a goddamn plan?

Yes, we are going to go visit
LaDarius and show concern,

We need to humanize Jake, and
it's not going to be easy,

We can do this, people,

At Matterhorn, we had
a crisis point, too,

We had a road coder
push code on,

It's very technical,

It was bad,

But we stuck with it, and

we created the location software
used to locate Osama bin Laden,

You know what they did
when they found him?

They shot him in the face,

You're welcome, America,

Now, let's focus and lead,

I will lead,

You follow,

Jake, I cancelled
all my birthday

plans to figure out a solution

player wise,

It's your birthday?

Anybody tries to leave this
room, you just keep on walking,

Cuz you're, I don't
have the authority

to fire you, but don't leave,

There's not much to
say LDP, but I am

sorry from the
bottom of my heart,

Man, my biggest fear since I was

little was to get
run over by a car,

Mm,

Oh, and white cops,

Nah, yeah, I get that,

I'm warning you, my
mom is tripping,

Out for the year,
torn ACL, surgery,

possible career-ending injury,

How did that kid come
out of that woman?

C-section, I think,

Dad, tell her to-
This is my baby,

This is my life,

This is on you,

Bernice, he's my baby too,

He's my little mocha baby boy!

Shut up,

He cannot be your baby,

He is my baby,

Calm down,

He's calm,

Bernice, can I just
talk to you over here?

Over here,

You're looking good, big fella,

Bernice, when we
drafted Ladarius, I

promised you I
would take care of

him like my own son,
even though I

don't have a son,
that I know of,

But if I did, and the woman
kept that son and I knew him,

I would treat him great,

Just like LaDarius,
making him like my son,

Are you done babbling
like an idiot?

I could go on but I won't,

I knew that stupid
Popemobile was

poking a finger at
the chest of God,

I would never poke God's chest,

I was baptized,

But Ron is going to be
worth 2 billion and,

if my baby can't
play, that's on you,

That's right,

You better show up
at my house with

one of those giant novelty prize

checks they give away when some

lucky hillbilly
wins the Powerball,

[MUSIC]

A few of those checks aren't
worth real money you know,

Hey, nurse,

Is there any way
that I can get one

of those morphine
drippy bags to go?

[MUSIC]

The record for the worst loss
in league history was in 1991,

Cleveland beat Miami
by 68 points,

Tonight, we only lost
by 67, so there's that,

Hell, they're
dribbling around out

there like a bunch
of fifth graders

without Bo,

I remember the All-Star game
when Jordan and I were rookies,

I told Isiah to pass to Jordan,

Froze his ass out,

That was me, What does that
have to do with anything?

That's a good story,

Jordan still hates him,

Ladarius averages
24,8 points per game,

No way to replace that,

I should still be retired,

I should be playing
golf right now,

but no, rich guy
wanted me to be GM,

This, this sucks,

Yeah, anyway, we need a scorer
who spaces the floor and

can make the corner three,

We like Mickey
Barnes from Memphis,

Barnes? Yes,

The only thing he can shoot is
people outside a nightclub,

He only shot at them,

And the motherfucker missed!

From three feet away!

Yeah, the lay-up of homicides,

Hey, that was three years ago,

His plus-minus
this year was plus

six points, and he can defend!

Nothing good happens
outside a nightclub,

Whoa,

When Ladarius is
out, our shooting

percentage goes down 14,2%,

Stay at home, bring
the trim to you,

Okay, what about Billy Crane?

Crane?

He scores high with us,

He's retired, He
started a restaurant,

Billy's Burgers,

Is that his joint?

I like that place,

Yeah, that's one tasty burger,

In his last year, he led the
league in assists per 40,

and he had a true shooting
percentage of 60%,

I heard you can get
it without the bun,

Healthy and delicious,

Then it's just a
flat slab of meat,

I- Guys, guys, would you guys,
would you guys please listen?

I'm trying to help!

Sorry, Asian Moneyball,

[MUSIC]

Jay,

Alifi's leg is bad, man,

The doctor said some
serious doctor-y shit,

If I get the GM on board,
I can make this work,

[MUSIC]

So, should we remove Ladarius
from the promo materials?

Todd, he's the freaking
A in Sin City Saints,

There's a very bad
lady coming this way,

She is not to be trusted,

Say nothing,

Hello, everyone,

I'm Dusty Hawford, special
counsel for the league,

And Alan, you know,
the big boss, the

commish, asked me
to fly in from LA,

my second least favorite city,
to my least favorite city to do

damage control for this,
how did A-dog put it?

Mismanaged carnival
of stupidity,

He also called it a
feces-throwing monkey show,

Who is he?

I'm her assistant,
Wade Leatherby,

Okay we've got your
Grindr screen name down,

What's your real name?

[SOUND], I'm Melissa
Stanton, head of PR,

And this is not Jake's fault,

That's sweet,

A little crush there?

[LAUGH] No that's,
that's, that's

ridiculous, he's, he's my boss,

That would be inappropriate,

I'm sorry, sweetie, but
everything here is Jake's fault,

That's what happens
when you own a team,

He might as well have been
driving that clown car himself,

You know what's so great
about being rich, Dusty?

I don't have to
listen to bullshit,

Meeting adjourned,

[MUSIC]

Okay so we're, are we
rescheduling the meeting, Jake?

Will there be an email?

How did you get-,

Article 13 What is that?

League bylaws, Oh,
please, that's like

privacy policies
on the internet,

Nobody reads them,

Owners must avoid
unethical conduct,

In violation of
Article 13, owners

can be removed by a
two-thirds vote,

In short, you can lose the team,

Get it now?

Oh, so I wouldn't get
to see you any more,

That's a shame,

Although I do like the hair,

It works,

I'm glad you like it,

I supported the change,

We-, We told you to get
rid of the Popemobile,

It's dumb,

And the dumbness is endless,

We let it slide with a fine when
you put a bounty out on the ref,

Hit him!

No, please, hey, leave me alone!

[INAUDIBLE],

And the cheerleader situation,

Woo-hoo!

You get a job, you get a
job, you're all hired!

And now, for your latest and
greatest hit, Ladarius' mom,

Allen's office called
us and told us

that Bernice has
already lawyered up,

Relax,

I went to the hospital
and calmed her down,

And said what?

You didn't admit fault, did you?

Of course not,

And on behalf of the team and
the league, let me just say,

it's all our fault,

Get your ass back in there and
listen to what I have to say,

I am gonna turn this into a

well-managed carnival
of stupidity,

All right, we're
gonna fix this so I

can get out of
this petri dish of

ass cracks, fanny packs,
and heart attacks,

Is that so, hot Ray Donovan,
and how are you gonna do that?

We're gonna put the blame
on the mascot and move on,

Where is he?

Missing,

How incompetent are you people?

Security didn't grab him?

I sent an associate
out to look for him,

He could be anywhere,

Hell, he could be
in Fiji by now,

[SOUND],

Can I see the money please?

I really needed this job,

I did a slip and fall
at a Whole Foods, and

my settlement money
is almost gone,

Show it to me,

[SOUND],

Oh man,

They forgot the little fork
for my luxury shellfish,

Can you find me a tiny fork and
a bottle of water for my plant?

[SOUND] You know,

lobsters are the only animal
to exhibit handedness,

Mm, that's interesting because I
shoot people with my left hand,

At the same time,
with my right hand,

I bash their heads
in with a shovel

and they never see it coming,

Guys, it's gonna be a few,

We have an issue with
the landing gear,

F-, [INAUDIBLE],

You see, some lobsters have the
crusher claw on the right, and

others on the left,

This fella here was a southpaw,

Or should I say
this little lady?

Females are always a little
softer on the palate,

just like in life, am I right?

[LAUGH] Hey, buddy,

Why don't you watch
some TV, okay?

I wonder how he tastes,

You know what?

It's fine that he's missing,

It makes him look more guilty,

It was an accident,

You know, I'd hate
to ruin his life,

He's a grown man
who makes a living

doing cartwheels in a lion suit,

It's not a long journey
down to the bottom,

Plus he's a total degenerate,

Eight arrests,

DUI, drugs, prostitution,

All pretty standard for Vegas,

He was a prostitute,

Theft, he stole a belt off a
guy at a blackjack table,

Did you vet him at all?

Todd is HR,

Benny the Bull emailed
me and said nice things,

Benny the Bull,

Yeah,

Okay, here's what
we're gonna do,

We're gonna have a
press conference,

You're gonna reveal
him to be an unstable

addict with a long
arrest record,

I'll write the speech,
you'll say it,

Got it? Got it,

Good,

The only mistake I've made
is being too trusting and

giving this habitual
substance abuser a chance?

I, I don't feel
comfortable saying this,

What? What is your problem?

This guy singlehandedly
ruined your season,

Maybe I'm just a good guy,

There are two types
of guys in this

world, douchebags and dickheads,

Douchebags are douchebags cuz
they're overcompensating for

massive insecurity,

Dickheads are
dickheads cuz they're

actually just bad
people who act poorly

with no regard for others,

You're a douchebag,
not a dickhead,

[MUSIC]

Thanks,

The real person at fault
here is Andy Logan,

an untrustworthy career criminal

with a serious meth
addiction whose

own mother frequently
disowns him?

You're just brutal,

Keep reading,

I lay it on thick in
the last paragraph,

[COUGH] There's a Brian
here to see you,

It's Byron, Sapphire,

It's Brian's birthday
party, either today or

some other day, I'm
not sure which,

[LAUGH] I'm bad with calendars,

but would you like me to respond
yes to the paperless post?

Absolutely,

Love that kid,

You've got it,

Seriously?

Yeah, you know, I
promised them all

a job when I was really high and

I'm a, I'm a job creator,

Learn the speech,

Be sincere,

Get a coach if you need one,

And, and hey, and
I just couldn't

make her a cheerleader
because she

has a lower lumbar problem
from working the pole,

Man of the year, everybody,

Hey, Jake, Jake, Jake,

Jake,

Yeah, So, so here's
what we're thinking,

Oh, hey, I wanna bounce
something off you,

Really?

Bounce away,

Yeah, you know the mascot
that hit Ladarius?

That was me,

What? Yeah, I made the mascot
let me wear the outfit,

I wanted to drive
the popemobile, and

it was so fun until
I hit Ladarius,

No,

No,

No,

No, I can't, I can't hear this,

Now I'm implicated,

I'm a people pleaser,

Do you know what they do to
people pleasers in prison, Jake?

Calm down,

Adversity is a true
test of character,

I don't need my
character tested,

I know that it's weak,

Relax,

Kevin took care of it,

We paid off the mascot to
skip town and keep quiet,

So are we, are we okay?

Dusty wants me to throw this
guy under the bus, but I,

I think I'm gonna tell the
truth and come clean,

[MUSIC]

Lot of people,

Get nervous speaking in public?

Nervous?

I've given multiple Ted talks,

Ooh, talking about your own
accomplishments, little douchy,

Forbes magazine wouldn't vote a

douchebag one of
the great thinkers

of 2014,

No, but only a
douchebag would use

that line to try
to pick up women,

Well, the women I pick up
rarely, if ever, read Forbes,

You could have left Forbes
off the end of that,

So, Okay, it's big boy time,

Fix your screwup and let's
have it be the last one,

That's what I'm gonna do,

Good, Do you think
you're above all this?

What do you mean?

I mean, this is Vegas,

Weird shit happens,

You stay here long enough,
it's gonna get you too,

Oh, Vegas,

Big, bad, scary Vegas,

Stick to the script, champ,

[MUSIC]

We all know that Ladarius
will be back with us,

And, and the real
fault here lies with,

the fact is we try to vet
all of our employees, and

sometimes a bad one slips
through the cracks,

I need to speak from the heart,

I ran my company, Matterhorn,
with an emphasis on integrity,

And in the spirit,

In which I have lived
my entire life I

just want to say that
the person who hit

Ladarius is, is
missing, is missing,

The fact is Andy Logan the
mascot is on the run, and

he had a long list
of arrests and

prior convictions
that he hid from

us during the interview process,

I knew it, never trust the rich,

Well, you picked
the wrong king of

the jungle to mess
with this time,

[MUSIC]

It's ridiculous,

How much longer?

Calm down,

We'll be wheels up
in three minutes,

Better be,

Hurry up,

Drugs, gambling, prostitution,
certainly not new to Vegas,

But are things that I
will not stand for,

Andy?

And you have my word,

The money,

That the man who did this to
Ladarius, the team and the city,

Las Vegas, will be sorry, he
ever put on that mascot uniform,

[MUSIC]

Thank you,

[SOUND],

[MUSIC]

Can we move on?

Yeah, let's move on,

Get on the table and
take your pants off,

[SOUND] [LAUGH],

[MUSIC]

Hey, can we get a [SOUND] woah,

I'm gonna drive the Popemobile,

[LAUGH],

I'm her assistant, [INAUDIBLE],

[LAUGH],

Are you sure?

[LAUGH],

It's the first time I
said my name [INAUDIBLE],

[MUSIC]

Forbes magazine wouldn't vote a

douchebag one of the
best dudes ever,

[LAUGH]