All language subtitles for Nothing.Really.Happens.2018.WEB.H264-OUTFLATE

[...]

[Static]

If your transmissions gotcha
down.

Or your motor falls
apart.

That's the time to come to
Thunder Bolt [VHS static]

Oh.

Hey.

I didn't see you there.

Stanley Stimple here.

You can call me Stan.

This is President's Day.

Who'd of thought?

This is what I'm calling
the Stars-n-Stripes Sale.

This President's Day, we're
[stuttering] popping prices.

We've got 40%-- that's 55%
off original prices from 49%.

We've got so many
doggone beads in here.

We can't hold all the volume.

You know what my
daddy used to say?

Big men don't like
little mattresses.

It ain't true.

Some do.

We're here to make your
dreams become dreams.

And that's the simple
Stimple's guarantee.

Come on down.

Daddy used to tell
mama, don't ever

sleep on a mattress
that isn't mine.

That's my daddy.

And this is his shirt.

And this is our 25th
President's Day Sale

here at the Stimple
Mattress Temple

off of Westheimer in front
of the Windchimes Theater.

We've got this bed right here.

All right?

It's 76% off.

All right?

That's 1776-- birth
of a great nation.

All right?

America.

This one over here--
this one is 74% off.

That is July the 4th--

that ain't today, because
today is President's Day.

But you know, it's another
one of them American things.

My daddy is dead.

But his dream of making
your dreams become dreams--

that's still alive.

We're still [stuttering]
popping off prices.

All you got to do is come down
to the Stimple Mattress Temple

and get some of these dang beds.

All right?

We'll see you soon.

I'm Dr. Loraine Dubbard.

And welcome back.

This is Taking Control-- a
three-part encouragement series

aimed at assisting
loved ones who

may have drifted from
their pre-determined path

using subconscious
coercion therapy, or SCT.

Do you know the key
to consciousness?

Of course not.

And why would you?

You haven't been given the
proper training [stuttering]

resources.

As a non-medical doctor in
pseudolectual hypothesis,

I have nearly
four-years experience

within my field of thought.

My goal is to inch you closer
to the everlasting void

of understanding
consciousness, which,

after completing this series,
culminates in our follow up

six-part series--

Maintaining Control.

In it, you will learn the
subtlety of long-term essential

life guidance through SCT
techniques for the low one-time

fee of-- fee--

When we last spoke, you
were initiating SCT phase 2.

You should now be anywhere
between seven to nine days

into treatment depending
on responsiveness.

[faucet running]

Now, I should remind you how
important it is at this phase--

[brushing]

--for your subject to have no
awareness of their treatment,

as it could result
in unintentional

mental blocking during
REM sleep, preventing

inadequate connection.

As always, sedation
should only be

used in exceptional conditions.

Now that we are all
caught up, let's proceed.

[spitting]

[sigh]

[keys hit floor]

Was that an earthquake?

I'm sorry, Babe.

I was-- I was
trying to be quiet.

The whole world was shaking.

It was just my keys.

Are you sure it
wasn't an earthquake?

In Houston?

It's probably on the news.

I don't--

[sigh]

OK.

[droning music playing]

[droning music playing]

Morning, Randy.

Come here.

Come over here.

Take a look at this.

[sigh]

What's this look like to you?

You mean in context--

like, as a whole?

It's rabbit shit.

How sure are you?

Well, what else could it be?

[sniffing]

Oh, maybe a deer.

What, you can tell?

I have no idea.

[sigh]

You're fucking with me.

The deer?

What?

No.

I don't know who did it.

He does seem like an asshole.

He?

You saw him?

No.

It's just the
likelihood of a deer

being female is extremely slim.

Where do you even
find a flag this tiny?

I don't know.

I guess the internet.

I guess.

How long do you think
it takes to type "flag"

on a keyboard with hooves?

How does this work--

like, day to day?

What do you mean?

You as a human in,
like, a manageable way?

I don't know.

You're a difficult
person to connect to.

I think it's difficult for
anyone to connect nowadays.

This isn't about connection.

It's about basic functionality.

I mean, that's the basis of
all communication, isn't it?

Man, you look like shit.

Thanks.

Hey, how's your sister doing?

Heard from her lately?

My sister?

Yeah.

I spoke to her on Friday--
we didn't actually speak.

But I feel like she's been
avoiding me ever since.

I don't have a sister, Randy.

She's a little strange.

I think I might
have confused her.

What is this, a joke?

What is-- what is that?

[sniffing]

I don't smell anything.

Is that patchouli oil?

[sniffing]

Oh, god.

It's Jess' lotion.

She ran out of--

Jess?

Get the fuck off of my yard.

You can't be serious.

Yeah, I'm fucking serious.

Get the fuck off my yard.

[sigh]

Asshole.

[music playing]

[phone ringing]

Hey, Miguel.

Senor Dave, there's
a chain on the door.

Wait.

Slow down.

I can't understand you.

And he says we break
the health code.

What are you talking
about, a health code?

We sell mattresses.

Yes.

I told them They no listen.

Don't you let them
leave, Miguel.

This town needs us.

But the sign--

The simple step-- the Stimple--

What should I do?

The fucking commercial!

But they no listen.

Just don't let them leave.

Bed bugs.

They said that?

The worst they've seen.

Where are they?

The beds.

No, Miguel.

The health department.

Oh.

They leave.

Wait.

Why didn't you try to stop them?

I say, hey, wait.

But they say, no.

[sigh]

My wife bake you some cookies.

She thinks they
maybe cheer you up.

Cheer me up?

Yes.

It's chocolate chip.

Thank you.

But I'm allergic to chips.

Oh.

I let her know.

Why would she think
I needed cheering up?

The bed bugs.

Did you know about this already?

Yes.

And you didn't think to tell me?

I leave a note on your desk
Friday when you went for lunch.

There was no note
on my desk Friday.

No.

I leave it.

Oh.

God.

Your handwriting is
terrible, Miguel.

I can't make out a word of this.

It's Spanish.

OK.

Whatever.

Look, nobody can make this out.

Oh. OK.

It says, "the health
department called

to say they have complaints
from customers about bed bugs.

They say they will come
first thing Monday morning

to inspect.

Also, can I leave
early Monday to take

my brother to get
his windows tinted?"

Why can't he take himself?

His truck is not working.

Where are the windows?

On his truck.

So how were you going
to get them tinted?

They put the black
tape on the window.

Look, I know how they do it.

How are you going
to get him there?

We take the truck.

But the truck isn't working.

Yes.

[groans]

God.

Why wouldn't our customers
have just come to us

first about the bed bugs?

Maybe they itched too much.

[honking]

[speaking spanish]

They leave this note.

They say, call you.

You call them.

[phone ringing]

Thank you for your inquiry
at the Department of Health.

We are currently experiencing
a higher than average call

volume.

A representative will
be with you momentarily.

You have four
callers ahead of you.

[hold music playing]

Thank you for your patience.

You have seven
callers ahead of you.

[hold music playing]

What?

What are you looking at?

Thank you for your patience.

You have 12 callers
ahead of you.

[hold music playing]

[click]

[phone ringing]

Hello.

Hey.

What does your-- what does
your afternoon look like?

Yeah, that's kind of
relative, isn't it, David?

Are you asking
from my perspective

or as an objective observer?

That question alone brings
up a number of issues.

To perceive, we'd first
need proof existence

itself is not a false concept.

Some would argue that
consciousness alone

is proof from a
philosophical standpoint.

Speaking purely
scientific though--

Do you want to eat or not?

I could eat.

Thank you.

Sure thing.

Do you think people notice
how unaware they are?

What do you mean?

People.

Do you think they realize
how oblivious they are

to their surroundings?

All people?

Some people.

A lot.

Most of all the people.

I don't think so.

How can they not see how
fucking pointless it all is?

I think they're
just preoccupied.

Is that a new jacket?

Yeah.

It's the one Randy Quaid
wore in Independence Day.

I got it for an easy 600.

I don't think it is.

I mean, he definitely
in the jet when

he flew up into the alien--

That's not Randy Quaid's jacket.

Take her for example.

Every day, I come in here.

And every day, she puts
down a glass of ice water.

The glass, it sits there.

I order coffee.

I don't touch the water.

I eat my meal.

I pay.

I leave.

The water sits there.

Does this affect you
in a negative way?

Every day, she smiles at me.

I don't look.

But I can feel it burning--

hot enough to melt the ice.

What is that supposed to mean?

The water is not necessary.

It's intrusive.

And it makes it very
difficult to maintain

a comfortable atmosphere with
it sitting on this table.

Just ask her not to
bring water next time.

I think you're
missing the point.

I think it's just
good customer service.

What is?

The water.

You have a very strange face--

very allusive features.

Did it ever occur
to you that people

may avoid you because of it?

I hadn't considered it, Carl.

No.

You should consider options.

For my face?

Yeah.

I mean, you could just
make it look, you know,

somehow not so much
the way that it does.

I haven't been
sleeping well lately.

Where did that come from?

What am I supposed
to do with that?

I don't know.

I'm just trying to
have a conversation.

A conversation?

That--

[chuckles]

That just does not suit you.

Carl, it's what friends do.

Is it?

I'm, uh, thinking about
starting to smoke.

Interesting.

Cigarettes?

Yeah.

How does this affect
your level of awareness?

Only sometimes.

I just--

I have a lot of questions.

Kevin Sorbo was in this
exact position once.

And then what?

And then nothing.

What do you mean?

What happened?

With what?

Jeez.

Carl, Kevin Sorbo.

This-- this is very grating.

Things are just not
progressing here.

Where one would
expect a presence,

in your case for
example, there's

just a consummate lack
of imaginative intuition.

It's just not a clear
reference, Carl.

It doesn't seem
relatable to anyone.

You're mad if you think I'm
going to sit here and explain

to you the entire theory
of cognitive realization

in relation to your
own insignificance.

Is this about his
work after Hercules?

What do you think
about when people talk?

Them as people.

I don't know.

Sometimes, I wonder
if they actually

share an interest in
what I'm trying to say

or if they're just waiting for
their next chance to interrupt.

You are drowning next
to an empty boat, David.

Do you know why
that boat's empty?

Not yet.

[droning sound]

The people in the
boat have stopped

giving a shit years ago.

[snapping]

David, this is exactly
what I'm talking about.

Where are you?

What are you talking about?

I'm right here.

I mean in your fucking head.

Look, have you ever walked into
a place and felt like everybody

there knows something
that you don't?

Or, I don't know,
like something just

happened and you missed it?

No.

My self-awareness has become
so distracting that I can't

focus on anything around me.

Look at that.

Where are you going?

Tell me something, David,
how do you see time?

[scoffs]

What kind of question is that?

It's time.

It passes.

Exactly what I
thought you'd say.

What, are you leaving already?

I need to reassess my approach.

Is this about my smoking?

No, Dave.

It's about relationships.

Everything is about
relationships.

You lack empathy, David.

And it's very disconcerting.

Empathy for what?

Don't fuck this up.

[phone alert]

[droning music playing]

Sir, please.

You're holding up the line.

I'm the only one in the store.

There could be someone
in the bathroom.

Is there?

No.

You have a weird presence.

I've never really
done this before.

Been in a store?

No.

Yes.

I mean, what would you suggest?

Well, we have a
special on sodas--

buy any two-liter and get either
powdered donuts or ginseng

pills for $2.

Do you smoke?

No.

If you did, what would
you rec-- recommend?

[droning sound]

Are you OK?

[claps]

Hey.

I'm sorry.

I think I'm going to
start smoking today.

Oh.

You're at a crossroads.

Maybe just go.

What do you mean, go?

I mean, turn around and
go out of the store.

Then what?

Then get in your
car and go home.

Which ones are the best?

There is no "best" here.

You know what these do, right?

OK.

Which ones are the most popular?

Thinking about this in terms of
popularity is somewhat ironic,

don't-- don't you think?

What do you mean?

Smokers by nature are assholes.

People actively dislike them.

You seem like a smart guy--

somewhat.

I find it hard to believe
you would actively

choose to be a piece of shit.

Look, you are clearly working
through something right now.

I mean, this isn't
even about me, is it?

Here.

Those are the worst.

$5.50

Here.

Keep the change.

How generous.

Yeah, I guess.

Hey.

[object hits floor]

Lighters on me.

Go fuck yourself.

[music playing]

[coughing]

[clattering]

Would you pass the salt?

Thanks.

Your hair looks good today.

What's that supposed to mean?

I like it.

Does it look bad?

I just said it looks good.

You smell like an ashtray.

I had a lot of unanswered
questions today.

And how did that make you feel?

Not great.

They closed the store down.

Mm hmm.

The health department
said we had bed bugs.

Interesting.

And I don't think Carl cares
for me much these days.

Well, he probably
has his reasons.

No.

I don't think so.

It seems really out
of character for him.

Maybe it's your
intolerable passiveness.

I think he equated
me to Kevin Sorbo--

which was a little hurtful.

It's not all your fault--

just mostly.

I mean, he's
becoming increasingly

abstruse during
our conversations.

Don't say that?

What, about Carl?

"Abstruse."

Why not?

[chuckles]

It makes you sound
like an asshole.

Nobody says "abstruse."

OK.

Well, what would
you like me to say?

Conversations with you don't
go the way people want them to.

That's not what happens.

Not for you.

What about me?

When you're not
paying attention,

you act like you are.

It's insulting.

Does everyone [stuttering]?

No.

[stuttering] mostly.

[low humming]

Why is this here?

It's a sitting area.

In the middle of a stairwell?

It's decoration.

It just takes up space.

Where would you like
it to be, somewhere

in the corner out of the way?

Yeah.

That.

What is the point in
a chair if it's not

going to be used as a chair?

Well, you lack vision.

Dave.

Yeah?

Stop wasting water.

Randy thinks there's a
rabbit in the neighborhood.

Something keeps
pooping on his lawn.

Did you see it?

Yeah.

I don't think it came
from a rabbit though.

It was too big.

I meant-- never mind.

Maybe it was a deer.

Yeah, that's unlikely.

How so?

Deer don't just wander
out of the woods and poop

wherever they feel like.

I think they do.

Not in our neighborhood.

Maybe someone is
messing with him.

He was pretty upset.

What did you say that upset him?

I didn't say anything.

I mean, he didn't like
the way that I smelled.

But that was later.

Was it?

Can you turn the light off?

I'm reading.

Did you even notice my tits?

Yes.

And that's it?

[sigh]

What do you expect me to say?

Why do you always have to
make everything about you?

This is about us.

Then tell me why
you don't want me.

You pull away from me every
time I try to touch you.

So I just don't anymore.

I can't just be ready
to go all the time.

It doesn't work like that.

You don't look at
me the same anymore.

[sigh]

I just want you to want
me the way you used to.

You never let me see you naked.

My tits are out right now.

Are they?

You can almost see the nipple.

Stop treating me like
I'm a piece of meat.

You know I'm self-conscious
about my body.

(SOFTLY) OK.

I want you to touch me.

What are you doing?

You just said--

My left breast.

Gently.

I'm not ready for this.

[low humming]

[droning sound]

[faucet running]

[brushing]

[coughing]

This [stuttering] can't be good.

Nobody respects you because
you are a fucking pussy.

That's more like it.

[deep laughter]

[groaning]

(DISTORTED) Daddy, help me.

[underwater acoustics]

[coughing]

I'm going to start charging you
an allowance for babysitting.

Randy?

What's wrong with you?

You're a grown ass man.

How did I get here?

Sleepwalking-- again, Dave.

God.

It was-- it was so constricting.

And there was all this pressure.

That's drowning.

You just described drowning.

But it slowly peeled away.

And then it just--

it just let go.

Look, you're going
to buy me new plants.

I'm not going to go with
you to pick them out.

But they better not be shitty.

Wait.

What?

You mean these
weren't here before?

Perhaps I was growing
an underwater garden.

I mean, it was a void--

non-existence,
but not emptiness.

Go home.

[droning sound]

[sigh]

[droning sound]

Jess.

[intense music playing]

Oh, thank god.

[droning music playing]

[droning music playing]

What are you looking at?

What are you--
what are you doing?

You have no right.

Where did you come from?

They weren't yours.

I want them back.

Want what back?

I have no idea what
you're talking about.

My puzzles.

Ma'am, I can honestly say that
I have no idea about anything

with your--

with your puzzles.

Look, can I call
somebody for you?

What is this?

[droning sound]

You need to stop
asking questions

and start looking for answers.

Look, I told you I don't know
anything about your puzzles.

You think this is about puzzles?

You just said it
was about puzzles.

You don't even know
when you are, do you?

Hey, mattress man, does that
pussy still even get wet?

[inaudible]

[laughter]

[low humming]

I dare you.

OK.

So we're having a yard sale.

Want to buy a chair?

If it were Monday, I guess
I could give you $30 bucks.

It is Monday, Randy.

There's something
I got to tell you.

OK.

I was 12 my first time--

locked away in my
parents bathroom

after school with
some magazine that I

found behind a grocery store
in a sewer drain or somewhere.

It was really disgusting--

pages stiff and brittle,
some stuck together.

I guess it was S&M, but
the women had penises.

No.

Look, you really don't
have to finish this story.

So my mother, she fashioned
herself a hippie in the 90s--

the fucking 90s.

I hate that woman.

She kept this big jug of
patchouli oil on the counter.

Naturally, that was
my first place to go.

Grabbed it.

Emptied it into my hands--

ruined the carpet.

Masturbated-- vigorously.

I felt this new sensation.

I knew I had opened some
door that I would never,

or could ever, close again.

I felt so ashamed.

But hell, that didn't stop me.

And as I started
feeling that tingle--

that amazing feeling--

I panicked.

I was terrified.

I felt this pain shoot straight
up my spine and into my skull.

I fucking lost it.

I hit my head, fell
down, passed out.

I fell asleep or something.

I woke up to my mother and her
John of the week just standing

above me staring at me.

[growling]

I couldn't even look
at my penis for months.

And it's the stench
of that fucking oil

and that bushy mustache
that I can't forget.

Mustache?

Yeah.

You couldn't even
see his mouth--

which probably explains
how they had so much--

Wait a minute.

What did you use the oil for?

Well, lubrication.

To masturbate?

Yeah.

Oh.

I knew you were a
fucking weirdo--

just dry choking your sad
penis into chafed disrepair,

crying in the corner.

That seems excessive, all right?

Our sex life has been
perfectly fine until recently.

You and your penis?

Jess and I.

Jess?

She's my wife.

No.

It doesn't ring a bell.

We've been friends
for five years, Randy.

I wouldn't necessarily
call us friends.

[sigh]

There was a woman in your yard.

Now?

She's there now?

Was.

I said "was."

OK.

What was she doing?

She was just standing there--

just staring.

Staring at what?

I think she was trying to
put a claim on your land.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

She put another
flag in your yard.

Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's shit in my yard.

Yeah.

You showed me earlier.

No.

No.
I cleaned that shit.

I cleaned that shit.

This is brand new shit.

Wait.

That-- that means that--

Yeah.

Yeah.

This old lady owns a
fucking rabbit farm.

No.

That shit didn't
come from an animal.

Oh, OK.

So it's just-- so you're just--

there's an old woman--
there's an old person

woman shitting in my yard
is what you're saying to me?

I mean to be fair, she probably
thought it was my yard.

How's that?

I don't know.

She was angry and confused.

About where to put her shit?

I think she's testing me.

I just don't know why.

Oh, great.

You're a fucking
terrible neighbor.

Goodnight, asshole.

Figure your shit out.

It's getting really hard to
be your acquaintance, David.

[droning music playing]

[sexy music playing]

Hey, folks.

Dave Stimple for the
Stimple Mattress Temple.

We're-- we're stripping down our
prices by [stuttering] popping

off our shirts I guess.

Getting down and--
down and dirty.

I don't know how to be sexy.

Just remember the simple
Stimple guarantee--

where your dreams become dreams.

Are we done?

[bleep] jeez.

All right.

Who gives a [bleep]?

Welcome back to Taking Control.

I'm Dr. Loraine Dubbard.

As phase 2 concluded, depending
on how far your subject was

wavering previous
to treatment, you

should have begun to
see acceptable results.

If not, we'll proceed
into phase 3--

sensory isolation.

As we move along,
much care should

be taken as your subject is
likely to be in an emotionally

vulnerable state due to
the toll our treatment has

had on their mind thus far.

During a small independent
study, 65% of half the subjects

reported having no
lasting residual effects.

However, [inaudible] and
irreversible psychological

breakdown is plausible.

Proceed cautiously.

Are there any questions so far?

I shall try to answer
them as best I can.

All right then.

Let's get started.

[alarm ringing]

[faucet running]

[groans]

Good morning, Babe.

What are you doing?

I'm not even sure.

Did you just discover something?

Maybe a new perspective.

You're 30-years old.

I mean, it's a sad
looking thing--

just hanging there, waiting,
getting stranger by the day.

Do you mind if I join?

I'm almost done.

[engine starts]

[phone ringing]

Thank you for your inquiry
at the Department of Health.

We are currently experiencing
a higher than average call

volume.

A representative will
be with you momentarily.

You have nine
callers ahead of you.

[hold music playing]

Thank you for contacting the
Houston Department of Health.

My name is Angela.

How may I assist you?

Hi, Angela.

My name is Dave Stimple.

And I have a question--

Dave Stimple?

The Dave Stimple from the TV?

It's the simple
Stimple guarantee.

Yes, ma'am.

I have a question about--

What is it you sell again?

Insurance?

Mattresses.

Mattresses?

Are you sure?

Yes, ma'am.

Oh...You should really say
that in your commercial.

I do.

Multiple times.

Oh.

Hmm.

I guess it's just
not that memorable.

Listen, I need to know
why somebody locked down

my store yesterday.

Oh.

Well, that doesn't sound good.

Why would we do that?

I don't know, Angela.

That's why I'm calling you.

Sir, please calm down.

Can I have your
reference number?

I wasn't-- I wasn't given one.

I was just given this card
with a number to call.

Well, I can't see the card, sir.

So I'm unable to verify that.

Let me look up your address.

Please hold.

[hold music playing]

Mr. Stimple, none of our
records show anything

about a closing of your
business or any indication

that an inspector has even
visited your premises.

But that's not possible.

I mean, I was there
yesterday and there

was a lock on the door.

Mr. Stimple, our
inspectors don't physically

lock down properties.

We provide a notice.

And it is the duty
of the business owner

to properly comply.

I don't understand.

We don't carry
locks on our person.

Our inspectors' job is to
write citations, nothing more.

Then who locked down my store?

Sir, please calm down.

And I will--

No.

Listen, I need to know
why I can't get inside

of my goddamn store!

Maybe you're behind on your rent
because nobody can make sense

of your goddamn commercials.

You are very bad at your job.

I apologize, sir.

That was rude of me.

Thank you for your call.

And have a blessed day.

[sigh]

[engine starts]

[droning music playing]

[phone ringing]

Miguel, meet me
at the store ASAP.

Something smells fishy.

Where's the ASAP?

It's new?

I don't like fish, senor Dave.

No.

As soon as possible.

At my store.

There's no fish.

OK.

Good.

I don't know what
makes the smell then.

[erratic music playing]

[phone ringing]

It's Carl.

You know what to do--

or do you?

I can't keep track of where
I am in the loop anymore.

Time-- it's a circle, you see.

Maybe-- maybe you never
left a message before.

Maybe nobody has.

If this is the first
message ever left,

please state your purpose.

This is very--

[beep]

Goddamn it, Carl.

What the fuck is going on?

Let's go in.

But the lock, senor.

Take it off.

What do you mean, take it off?

I mean, don't you have
tools in your truck?

My truck is not working.

Remember?

Can you break it off?

It's too strong.

I see her before.

You know this woman?

Yes.

I catch her sleeping
in the back.

Wait, how long has
that been going on?

Maybe one week.

I tell her to leave
and not to come back.

The combination is on the back.

Oh.

We find this for
a couple of days.

So I come one night.

And I find her.

Why wasn't I told about this?

Oh.

I-- I get her to leave.

Here, I show you.

Oh, yes.

[VCR plays]

[giggling]

They never catch him.

Did you record over
the security footage?

It's OK.

I record tonight.

Good and new.

Good as new, Miguel.

That too.

[spanish]

Stop the tape.

You don't like the--

the movie?

I just-- I have to
figure some things out.

Yeah.

The first one was better.

Open the store, Miguel.

We're open.

But the bugs?

There are no bugs.

[creature making sounds from TV]

[scatting song]

[droning music playing]

[phone alert]

It's Carl.

I'm sorry about yesterday.

I was harsh.

I just worry about you.

You're eventually
going to die anyway.

And anyone who ever had
any recollection of you

will also die.

And at some point down the
line, most of your genetic code

may not even be present
in any living being.

And the human race
may perish altogether.

And the Earth's very makeup
may disperse into the galaxy.

And your life, nor anyone
in human history's life,

will have had any point at all.

So yeah.

Just do whatever you want.

Call me back.

I could eat.

You know?

Just call me for
food or whatever.

Bye.

This is Carl.

Bye.

[dramatic drone sounds]

[intense electronic music playing]

I can see you.

No, you can't.

I mean, I know
that you're there.

I don't believe you.

What are you doing?

Sitting behind a tree.

No.

All of this-- why
are you doing it?

What do you care?

Can you please come out
from behind the tree?

I would rather not.

OK.

I'm going to sit
down then, all right?

All right.

You won't find what
you're searching for here.

Why were you in front
of my house last night?

I think you know
the answer to that.

I think you have
serious problems

with your digestive tract.

You may be right.

You should really see a doctor.

I don't trust doctors.

Why not?

They don't know anything.

They're all smoke and mirrors,
and chanting, and theatrics.

That doesn't seem like
an accurate depiction.

No one ever really gets healed.

And those tents are too hot.

What you're describing
is not a doctor.

Don't patronize me.

Every day you live is
a smaller percentage

of your total experience.

How can you even be
sure this moment is

relative to your path?

Wait.

But isn't my path always where
I am regardless of its relevancy

to itself?

No.

That doesn't make any sense.

Are these really
the kinds of things

you want to be a
concerning yourself with?

I want the truth.

You are very inefficient
with your time.

I have doubts that you even
properly understand it.

The inefficiency of my
time or time itself?

Some day, you will age
to a point in which

no one will listen to you.

Your presence in a
room will go unnoticed,

your opinions discarded.

It's already happened.

Our mattresses don't have bugs.

I know.

But your migrant worker doesn't.

He's not too bright.

I think he's smarter
than he lets on.

I think you are a poor
judge of character.

I think my friends and family
are beginning to resent me.

Your main issue is performance.

Performance?

You are a bad actor.

And you have too
much on your mind.

I'm not acting.

We're all acting.

It's just some of us are better
at faking it than others.

How do you think that
my level of awareness

will improve my presence?

Poorly probably.

It all depends on
your perception.

This feels thematic.

Your relationships
appear to be nothing more

than a complex
mockery in tangibility.

Which-- which relationships?

All of them, David.

Everything in your--

David?

--life is real.

Wait.

How do you know
so much about me?

I've been watching you.

You've been stalking me.

For how long?

You and your wife have not
been getting along recently.

She seems to have more in
common with your friend

next door as of late.

Wait, what are you--

what are you saying?

[rubber stretching]

Is-- is my wife cheating on me?

You need to get out
of your own way--

[grunting]

--if you want to see
what's coming next.

[intense music playing]

Oh, hello, David.

Did you have sex with my wife?

We've been through this--

you don't have a wife.

Come inside?

Who the fuck do you think drives
the other car in my driveway?

Your sister?

That's my wife--

Jessica.

Oh.

What's her face is Jessica.

She told me she was your sister.

OK.

But did you have sex with her?

Yes, obviously.

But I--

[intense music playing]

Ow!

Fuck, man.

Come on, man.

Hey.

Dave, man.

I didn't even enjoy it.

It was terrible.

I promise.

I didn't mean it.

It was like fucking a dusty
brick-- edges everywhere.

You know what?

Fuck you, man.

You guys are meant
for each other.

Why is there so much blood?

[door shuts]

[intense music playing]

Take this back.

I don't need it anymore.

I don't want that.

There's no resale value
on a broken heart.

It doesn't even work.

Honey?

What's the matter?

Please say something.

You're scaring me.

Did you know that Randy
thought you were my sister?

[droning music playing]

What?

[coughing]

Honey, please come inside.

How is this working out?

Oh, Jesus.

Not as well as I'd hoped.

Good.

Dave, please.

[stuttering]

Dave, please.

How long have you
been standing there?

How long have you
been standing there?

I don't-- I don't know.

We have work to do, Dave.

What kind of work, Carl?

[sniffs]

[coughs]

You smell [stuttering]
like an asshole.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

David.

[gasp]

I thought I'd lost you.

Sorry.

I drifted.

Where did you go?

It was just a daydream.

I don't think you understand.

You were not in this car.

What are you talking about?

This is going to be a
much more [stuttering]

formidable task than I
initially anticipated.

Look, I don't know
enough about grammar

to pinpoint where you
went wrong in your syntax.

But--

Syntax?

What the fuck do you
know about syntax?

You're barely in most
conversations you're a part of.

And now I feel you
may be bleeding over.

Look.

I have been tirelessly
working for months

to get inside of you.

And right now, I
am out of ideas.

And I am out of options,
to be quite frank.

I'm exhausted.

Have you tried roofies?

Of course not.

Are you giving me
permission to roofie you?

No, that's not what I said.

Can I roofie you?

Why are we here?

OK.

Fair question.

Your interior is much,
much more complicated

than I initially perceived.

And given your less
than preferable degree

of discernment, your mind is
like a big ball of dog fur--

--that I'm blindly trying
to weave my way through.

Or better yet--

Why are we here, Carl?

Your mind is like
a cobbles knot.

And I'm your maniac.

Hey, who are Billy and Jude?

Little kids who lived
here before me I think.

And how long have
you lived here?

About two years.

[laughs]

Yeah.

Life isn't always
a contest, David,

but sometimes it's
important to be on top.

I want to give you a bath.

I really don't think
I need that right now.

But I need to isolate you.

[deep sigh]

[plastic bag crinkling]

How is this supposed
to help exactly?

Just do your best.

Try to relax.

And--

Oh, put these in.

I need you to focus on nothing.

[underwater acoustics]

Infinite nothing.

Go to the back of your mind.

Focus on nothing--
infinite nothingness.

Let it all go.

Infinite nothing.

[droning sound]

[crickets chirping]

Not again.

[droning sound]

What are you doing with Sarah?

Where did you come from Mr?

Where am I?

You're never going back.

That's not going to happen.

Nothing really happens.

Well, some stuff does.

I don't think I'm supposed
to be talking to you.

I don't thin I'm
supposed to be here.

You shouldn't take
things that aren't yours.

You shouldn't leave your
things laying in the woods.

[Toy gun pop]

I need to go home.

Mom's going to be mad.

Which way is home?

[intense music playing]

I [inaudible] who I am.

What's happening?

I feel some else is
talking [stuttering]..

Something is wrong
with your face.

Nu-uh.

Your face is stupid.

He's right, David.

You do have a stupid face.

The fuck do you know
about social norms?

I can only speak to what I see.

And what's that?

I see what you see.

You're looking at me.

Am I?

Yes.

You're mind wanders.

Therefore, I am.

Where did he go?

He went back.

Back where?

After he was here.

Stop with the abstract bullshit.

Just tell me as simply as
you can what happened to him.

He's been filed away.

[stuttering]

Filed away where?

You tell me.

Where are we?

I've never even seen
this place before.

This is inside.

Inside what?

This is nothing.

I'm inside.

You are simply here.

A place nonetheless

I've never been here.

It never appears that way.

Your feeling is
the only constant.

You're not supposed to be here.

There you go.

Nobody is.

But how did you get in?

Cracks in your foundation.

Must not let him in.

Let who?

David.

David.

I need you to let me in.

I don't.

Yes, I am trying to help you.

[error alert]

Warning.

Warning.

Warning.

Please do not be alarmed.

You are in a
self-contained safe mode.

No, no, no, no.

This isn't right at all.

Where are we even?

I don't really know exactly.

We need to go back to the woods.

We were very close in the woods.

I don't think that's
such a good idea.

There's nothing here.

What were you expecting to find?

Woe.

Whoa?

This-- this is
very discouraging.

This is safe.

Look, it is very essential
to your readjustment

that we find the root
of your disquiet.

God dammit.

Of all the things you could put
me in, still with the dresses.

Am I seeing the
dress or are you?

Of course I'm seeing the dress.

You see the dress.

I see the dress.

Everyone sees the dress.

You're still acting
of your own free will.

Of course I am.

So what?

Is it fair to say all
[stuttering] my own?

That was different.

And you have forcebale
attempted overhaul [stuttering]

--mind control.

Is that different
from-- how is that--

That was not my intention.

I [stuttering]
this was a mistake.

David, I don't know if I can--

I don't know if I can fix this.

David, I'm so sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

[stuttering]

[error alert]

[droning sound]

Welcome to the party.

Please have a seat.

[heavy breathing]

Thank you.

Hey!

[droning music playing]

You think I'm playing?

This ain't a fucking game.

Where did you--

The fuck wrong with y'all?

How did you get in here?

The front door is wide open.

Oh.

And you came out the
bathroom looking like that,

with your fucking dick out, a
stupid ass look on your face.

I've been trying to wake
up you zombie motherfuckers

for the last five minutes.

You put me in a
coma In your mind.

I couldn't move.

I can't tell what's
real anymore.

Hey, where's the bike?

What bike?

This asshole stole my
little sister's bike.

She a fucking kid, man.

You sold me fake drugs.

I'm not a drug dealer.

Look, I'm at the bus stop.

This guy comes up, says
his head is killing him,

wants me to hook him up.

I had some aspirin.

So I gave him a couple.

He gave me a dollar.

My mind.

I said my mind was killing me.

What did you think
you were buying?

Xanax.

Why?

For $1?

Admittedly, I am not
savvy to the exchange

rate of drug transactions.

But I'm crippled with
anxiety over you.

And I can't come to terms
with my own failure.

And I needed a break.

I been watching you, man.

You a fucking creep--

shitting in people's yard,
wearing old lady's dresses.

Something is wrong with you.

What I do with my time
is of no concern to you.

Man, I just want
the fucking bike.

Fine.

I'll get the bike.

You got a lock for it?

Well, I didn't want
it to get stolen.

Here.

Piece of shit.

Thanks for the hospitality.

How long have you been
sleeping in the store?

I think I broke you.

I think I've been broken.

No, no.

I've done things
I shouldn't have.

I've been a
passenger to my life.

Things happen.

I-- I let things happen.

Last night, I went
into the future.

It may have been a dream.

But it's hard to tell.

Robots were everywhere--
not a human in sight.

I ran for shelter,
eventually finding

a small shop that I entered.

The elderly man
behind the counter

said it had been
this way for years.

His concept of years
seemed debatable to me.

But I digress.

The robot factories
had become automated

with improved AI
for mass production.

The old man behind the counter--

he spoke of the old times.

His eyes lit up.

Boys and men dancing
hand in hand as one.

Laughing and touching.

He longed for a
return of his youth.

I didn't care much
for his demeanor.

So I ignored him mostly.

But one thing he said did stick.

The robots' reign could not
last for one simple reason--

they are incapable of
recognizing context.

You mean situational context?

Exactly.

There were three major
companies producing robots.

They all spoke
the same language,

but processed the
return data differently.

Two robots communicating
would always just

turn into an endless cycle
of processing redundant data,

eventually shorting out.

What the fuck does
Stephen Hawking know?

I don't think you have
a clear understanding

of artificial intelligence.

This isn't about AI.

We all have faults, David.

And we will thrive
because of our ability

to distinguish and adapt.

I attempted to fix you because
I felt we weren't the same,

but was totally ignorant
to my own ignorance.

[phone alert]

We need to go back in.

I mean inside of you.

Nope.

We definitely don't.

I may have done
measurable damage.

I don't think that
you did anything

that I can't handle myself.

This wasn't the
first time, David.

What do you mean?

[sigh]

Welcome back to Taking Control.

We have now entered
the final phase--

conscious dream persuasion.

We'll cut right to the chase.

Phase 4 is only to be considered
as an emergency solution

if all other options
have proven unsuccessful

and seeing as how-- let's
assume you've done a poor job

at following the simple
directions laid--

this technique will
require you to manipulate

your conscious subject's
awareness of reality.

Through this, you will
induce a feeling of safety

and healing-- a simulated
collaborative maintenance

exercise.

If done correctly, this exercise
could act as a system reset,

so to speak--

hopefully returning your subject
to their previous, still-flawed

state.

It's important to
acknowledge your failure.

Because you have
in all likelihood,

destroyed the life of
someone you hold dear.

As we conclude our session,
let me once again state that we

at the Research Science
Institute cannot be held liable

to the-- is is probably in
your best interest to dispose

of this tape appropriately and
attempt to move forward with

your life.

It's been a pleasure--
thank you for assisting

in the funding for
Advanced Dream Studies.

Good night.

[coughing]

How are you feeling?

What happened?

Projecting dreams is
a shared experience.

Achieving this was
no walk in the park.

What is this?

This would be best described
as your control center.

I was immensely worried that I
wouldn't make it back in here.

But we got back in.

I don't like this.

What do you mean?

I mean it's not exactly
what I expected.

We imagine things we
can't see in order

for it to make sense to us.

In order to rationalize
something, we make it tangible.

It doesn't explain why
we're in a public bathroom.

Your brain manifests
a room full of toilets

because I'm guessing
this is where

you feel the most in control.

So if nothing is real, then
how can anything be fixed?

The only thing here
controlled by your imagination

is the visual
representation of the space.

Despite its appearance,
real work is done here.

Then where do we start?

The last time I was in here.

I was somewhere around here
before I was pulled out.

This.

This.

This is it.

I may have bumped it or
something on the way out.

Is that tape?

There.

Who would have known it
would have been that easy.

So were you pissing directly
into my consciousness?

Let's take things
one step at a time.

OK?

Something is off here--

or not so off.

The feeling of normalcy is a
relatively new thing to you.

You've been out of sync
for a very long time.

No.

That's not it.

I'm not asleep am I, Carl?

David, you're starting to panic.

You've been through a lot
of emotional stress lately.

We're at the ballpark.

Why did you bring me here?

This is not what I
wanted to happen.

[grunt]

We're going to have
to talk about this.

[sigh]

I know.

[gasping]

[fan blowing]

Why?

Things got carried away.

Take off the mask.

I don't want to.

It was only supposed
to happen the one time.

I just needed to
know that it worked

before I asked you willingly.

You would have
thought I was crazy.

How many times, Carl?

I've lost count.

Maybe-- maybe eight
times this week.

Two times today.

But that wasn't intended.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Are you kidd-- you
could have killed me.

And then what?

You have to understand, I
was only trying to help you.

Help me?

How the fuck is that
supposed to help me?

I realize now it was
a terrible mistake.

Singular?

The first time I whizzed
in your head, what I saw

was terrifying.

Nothing made any sense to me.

And I was so worried
about you getting worse.

And then you feel in
your neighbor's pool.

Actually, that
happened a few times.

You were in my house?

I sat on your couch while
you slept in your bed.

[grunting]

The tranquilizer was just to
get you to a deeper level.

[unzips mask]

You're fucking insane.

You haven't even--

Just let me finish.

Just let me finish.

As I continued to
explore your mind,

I became very determined
to fix all your disconnect.

But every time, I got
more and more lost.

It wasn't until you
came here and let me

in that I realized the toll
that I had taken on your mind.

And then I realized something
that I never considered before.

Get to the fucking point, Carl.

My conscious mind while
inside of your unconscious

was unable to make
any sense of anything.

It was impossible
because the two of them

work on very different levels.

There was never anything
wrong with you, David.

Of course there is.

My fucking wife is
sleeping with the neighbor

because I'm not a real person--

I mean, not one that
does anything

of any importance at least.

I mean, Jesus, Carl.

I can't even get the
fuck out of my own head.

Jess is cheating on you?

You're the one who told me--

by the tree.

No, no, no.

No, no.

You misunderstood.

I was merely trying
to draw a connection

between your relationships with
them and how they perceive you.

I never alluded to any affair.

Shit.

I've done something terrible.

Fuck you, Carl.

You want a ride home?

[phone ringing]

Where have you been?

I've been so worried about you.

Honey, I am so sorry.

I feel terrible about earlier.

I just-- I wish I
could go back and--

What are you talking about?

In the kitchen when I came home.

The kitchen?

You got out of the car and
stood in the front yard

staring at Randy.

That doesn't make any sense.

Then Carl showed up
and you just left.

Is everything all right?

You're acting strange.

Look, I honestly
don't know anymore.

We haven't been on the
same page in a long time.

I just-- I want
to feel something.

Will you just come home?

[sigh]

How much work went
into all of this?

Not as much as you'd think.

For such an elaborate set up,
it seems very poorly planned.

In hindsight, you might
be on to something.

It just seems so
unnecessarily complex.

[sigh]

I think you just--

you fail to see how much
I care about you, Dave.

Then why didn't you
just talk to me?

That never crossed my mind.

So why were we at the ball park?

I needed you to believe
that I'd fixed you.

It was selfish.

But everything I'd done up to
that point would have been in--

it would've been in
vain unless you knew.

Thought.

What?

Nothing.

I was trying to strengthen
our relationship.

You know, I don't lack empathy.

You see things from such
a skewed perspective

that I think it
makes it impossible

for you to identify
with anybody on just

a very basic social level.

Just like Kevin Sorbo.

Like that.

Stop bringing up Kevin Sorbo.

I have no idea what the hell
you are saying right now.

Yeah.

I know.

OK.

Not having an
opinion on something

is totally different
than completely lacking.

You mistake my contemplation
for disengagement.

We all communicate.

We just-- we just
do it differently.

Just because I don't function
on the same wavelength

as you, where old dudes fuck
kids in the robopocalypse

or whatever, it doesn't
make any of us broken.

I'm bad at being a good person.

When you and Jess got
married, I thought

I was gaining more
than just a brother.

You're my best friend, David.

I just don't know
what the fuck that is.

Carl, you have good intentions.

But god, there is
something wrong with you.

I know.

And I don't know if
that can be fixed.

[sigh]

Do you wad or do you fold?

What?

When you wipe.

I don't know, Carl.

I never th--

Try--

I guess I wad.

It seems faster.

Try folding.

Look, Carl, I don't know if
this is really going to--

Just try it.

Trust me.

OK.

Goodbye, David.

Look, Carl, what I said
earlier, I didn't mean to--

Shut the door, David.

All right.

[phone ringing]

What is it, Carl?

Are we still on
for lunch tomorrow?

No.

Are you sure?

Yeah, Carl.

I'm sure.

Very well.

I'll see you tomorrow.

[soft music playing]

[footsteps]

[bird calling]

[groans]

[laughter]

[static]

[music playing]

[clapping]

Woo!

[CAPTIONS BY CARL]