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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,662 [door opens] 2 00:00:14,579 --> 00:00:15,798 Hey. 3 00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:17,974 What's his problem? Is this his chicken? 4 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,280 Tonight was the first time that his band 5 00:00:19,323 --> 00:00:20,672 played to an empty house. 6 00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:22,805 Even the baristas left. 7 00:00:22,848 --> 00:00:24,850 They gave methe keys to lock up. 8 00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:26,374 Oh, shoot. 9 00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:28,245 TIM: Hey. 10 00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:30,160 Funeral Goose played tonight, huh? 11 00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:31,944 Yep. It's a Friday. 12 00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:34,295 I've played every Friday for a year. 13 00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:36,384 You guys play every Friday? Really? 14 00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:37,298 Yep. 15 00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:39,082 So if it's a Friday, 16 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:40,214 you guys are playing? 17 00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:41,084 Yes. 18 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,172 What if there's a month 19 00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:43,304 with five Fridays? 20 00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:44,609 You playing all those Fridays? 21 00:00:44,653 --> 00:00:46,350 Yes! Oh, my God. You know what? 22 00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:47,743 It doesn't even matter. 23 00:00:47,786 --> 00:00:49,310 Why do I bother anymore? 24 00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:53,749 [groans] We're the worst, Heather. 25 00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:56,360 What kind of parents don't support their kid's dreams? 26 00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:58,232 Oh, honey, if we supported all of Tyler's dreams, 27 00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:00,973 he'd be a Mack truck turned into a robot. 28 00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:03,063 Yeah, but I know what it's like 29 00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,716 to have parents that don't believe in you. 30 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:09,591 I mean, I never... told you this about myself, but... 31 00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:10,722 The diving? 32 00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:12,507 Oh, yeah. 33 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:13,812 Yeah.Well, then you already know 34 00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:16,076 that my parents never came to a single meet. 35 00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:18,078 Babe, I know. Listen, why don't you go look 36 00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:20,123 at some of those diving medals that you keep in a shoebox, 37 00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:21,820 with the bird's nest and the seashells. 38 00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:26,738 Yeah. 39 00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:29,872 I'll have a snack while I'm down there. 40 00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:33,528 Well, here we are. 41 00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:35,443 Oh, this doesn't look like The Container Store. 42 00:01:35,486 --> 00:01:37,184 I must have taken a wrong turn. 43 00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:40,143 Dad, we seriously need to buy stackable storage. 44 00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:41,188 What's going on? 45 00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:42,841 [chuckles] It's a recording studio. 46 00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:45,235 Yeah, clearly. Why are we here? 47 00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:46,584 To record your new demo. 48 00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:48,020 What? 49 00:01:48,064 --> 00:01:49,239 A patient of mine owns the place, 50 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,893 so he owed me big-time. 51 00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:52,851 All I had to do was pay for the studio musicians 52 00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:54,026 and the engineer. 53 00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:56,638 And the enormous fee for rental. 54 00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,944 Dad, you really didn't have to do this. 55 00:01:58,988 --> 00:02:01,295 I wanted to do this. You are a born musician. 56 00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:03,123 Just like I'm a born negotiator. 57 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:04,602 Now get in there. 58 00:02:04,646 --> 00:02:05,690 Seriously, get in there. 59 00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:06,822 They're charging me by the minute. 60 00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,650 And remember: 61 00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:13,829 if I could give you one piece of advice on music, I would. 62 00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:15,439 [drums playing] 63 00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:17,267 [band playing] 64 00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:23,491 ♪ Climb higher and higher 65 00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:24,970 ♪ Up past the sky... 66 00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:26,668 [coughs] Sorry. 67 00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:29,845 No worries. Let's just pick it up from the chorus. 68 00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:38,375 ♪ Climb higher and higher 69 00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:40,334 [voice breaking]: ♪ Up past the sky 70 00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:42,858 ♪ Fly, my sweet creature 71 00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:46,078 ♪ Don't ever ask why... 72 00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:47,297 Is this the bridge? 73 00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:49,517 I hope not. 74 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:50,996 Let me talk to him. 75 00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:54,522 Hey, what's the problem in there, bud? 76 00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:56,567 The problem is me. I'm terrible. 77 00:02:56,611 --> 00:02:58,308 What? You're not terrible. 78 00:02:58,352 --> 00:03:00,136 Right? He's not terrible. 79 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,964 Uh, yeah, you're not great. 80 00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:03,792 Why would you say that? I'm paying you. 81 00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:05,097 Of course he's bad, man. 82 00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:06,795 But you don't say that. 83 00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:08,492 Right. I'm still pressing the button, by the way. 84 00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:10,059 Why would you do that? I'm paying you! 85 00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:12,017 No. He's right. 86 00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:14,150 I don't have what it takes to make it as a musician, 87 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,371 and I think, uh, I think maybe I've known for a long time now. 88 00:03:22,463 --> 00:03:24,639 [exhales sharply] 89 00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:26,641 [door closes] 90 00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:30,035 [sighs] 91 00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,212 Hey. I'm proud of you. 92 00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:33,996 I know that was a hard thing to admit, but you're not 93 00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:37,217 the only one who's ever given up on a dream. 94 00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:39,306 I never told you this about myself, but... 95 00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:40,481 I... The diving? 96 00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,265 Oh, yeah. 97 00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,876 Well, I may have had a nose for diving, 98 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,227 but I didn't have the ears. 99 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,967 I developed swimmer's ear. 100 00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:52,057 Spent more time in the doctor's office than the pool. 101 00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:54,538 And it was only then, while completely dry, 102 00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:58,281 that my appetite was finally whet. 103 00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:00,979 I realized I wanted to be an ear, nose and throat doctor. 104 00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:04,809 So you're saying I could be a doctor? 105 00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:07,986 [chuckles]: Oh, no, way. But look, 106 00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:09,945 you'll find your own path someday. 107 00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:12,426 And hey, just 'cause you're not playing music for a living 108 00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:15,603 doesn't mean you can't go back to it any time you want to. 109 00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,344 Have you ever gone back to diving? 110 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,957 Not in a long time. 111 00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:26,309 What are you looking at? 112 00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:27,919 ♪ 113 00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:34,186 ♪ Oh, oh, oh 114 00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:36,667 ♪ Oh 115 00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:39,279 ♪ We're ready for anything 116 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:43,021 ♪ We're first in line 117 00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:45,285 ♪ Whatever the future brings, uh-huh ♪ 118 00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:48,157 ♪ We'll be just fine 119 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:53,162 ♪ No, we're not wasting time 120 00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,514 ♪ Oh, we're not wasting time 121 00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:01,475 ♪ Here we go 122 00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:02,998 ♪ Hey, hey, hey...♪ 123 00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,048 [shouts] 124 00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:21,669 Oh, man. Oof. This heartburn is the worst. 125 00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:24,976 Feels like the baby's smoking a cigarette in there. 126 00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:28,110 That's weird. You only had two dozen jalapeño poppers. 127 00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:30,460 I know.I'll get your back. 128 00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:34,072 [gags] You know what, honey? 129 00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:36,379 I love you. I love you so much. 130 00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:40,078 I want to look at you from across the room. 131 00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:43,952 You know, like, uh, fine art. 132 00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:46,694 Okay. This is, like, one of your pregnancy things. 133 00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:48,435 Yeah.Okay. Yeah? 134 00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,828 It's just my senses are all out of whack, and... 135 00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:52,656 You can tell me. I can take it. 136 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,310 You sure? Okay.Yeah. 137 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,356 Um, well, it's your nose breath. 138 00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,662 My what, now? 139 00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:01,317 You know the air that comes out of your nose when you breathe? 140 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:04,015 Mm-hmm.Yeah. It makes me want to vomit. 141 00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:07,454 Lucky for me, I have another hole I can use. 142 00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:08,890 Okay. [laughs] 143 00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:10,761 [exhales] 144 00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:16,854 [gags] 145 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:19,857 I'm sorry, is there a third option? So sorry. 146 00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:21,903 Don't be. All right? I can, I can take it, all right? 147 00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:24,427 What, what else bothers you, sweetness? 148 00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:27,604 Um, the way you say your S's. 149 00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:29,650 Just kind of really makes the food 150 00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:32,914 want to come-come out and party. 151 00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:34,742 Hey, honey? 152 00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:36,352 What happened to my yogurt? 153 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,832 Oh, I threw it away. 154 00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:39,834 It was just the word. Ugh. 155 00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:43,533 I get it. It's a gross word. 156 00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:46,362 Thank you for being so understanding. 157 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,972 Love you. 158 00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:48,973 Love you. 159 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,151 It is freezing. 160 00:06:53,195 --> 00:06:56,198 Ugh, your pee, Greg. It is deafening. 161 00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:59,244 I mean, I thought you said you were gonna pee sitting down. 162 00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:01,595 Well, the seat's too cold. I'll stick to it if I sit down. 163 00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,379 It's-- You know what it is? It's the drop. 164 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,163 Like, I think it's a distance thing. 165 00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:06,948 Okay, look, I don't mean to brag, 166 00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:08,689 but the distance between me and the bowl 167 00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:10,517 is about as short as it can be. 168 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,606 Okay, what is the thermostat set at? 169 00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,346 No, hey, do not touch that. 170 00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,479 I am sweltering. 171 00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,002 Sixty-two? 172 00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:20,875 Oh, yeah, well, no wonder. Can you take it down to 60? 173 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,354 No. 174 00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:24,095 The A/C guy said if we do that, the system will freeze. 175 00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:26,576 Well, the A/C guy isn't having this baby. 176 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,578 Okay, okay. [sighs] 177 00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:36,151 [shivering] 178 00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:38,240 Oh, honey, can you just stop moving, though? 179 00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:39,850 It's making me nauseous. 180 00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:41,635 I'm shivering. I don't have a choice. 181 00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:44,420 Oh, honey, no S's. 182 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,378 Give me some of this blanket. 183 00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:50,034 No, I'm so sorry, but I do need the full weight on my body. 184 00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:52,254 And can you face the other way? 185 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:53,603 And, Greg, don't forget the mask. 186 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:55,518 Okay, that's it. 187 00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:57,041 I'm done, I'm done. 188 00:07:57,085 --> 00:08:00,175 I'm tired of being treated like the Elephant Man. 189 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:04,788 Greg, no, I only said that when you were eating soup. 190 00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:06,486 Because you wouldn't let me chew. 191 00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:08,966 Well, you're the one who chose chowder. 192 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,664 There's been a lot of consideration 193 00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,535 for how hard this pregnancy's been on you, 194 00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:14,755 but there has been zero consideration 195 00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:16,234 for how hard it's been for me. 196 00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:19,237 I'm sorry, what? 197 00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:22,545 Did you say the pregnancy's been hard for you? 198 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,939 Yeah.This pregnancy? 199 00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:27,898 Yes, this pregnancy, because you get to eat whenever you want, 200 00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:29,509 you get to breathe however you want, 201 00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,162 and you don't have to pee sitting down. 202 00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:33,425 I do pee sitting down, Greg. 203 00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:37,604 In fact, every time I sit down, a little bit slips out, 204 00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:40,694 so you're right, I've got it made. 205 00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:44,393 What are you doing? What are you doing? No. 206 00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:47,222 No, no, no, you wouldn't. 207 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:48,789 Let's see how the 50s feel. 208 00:08:48,832 --> 00:08:50,181 [air blows] 209 00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:52,227 Not a fan. 210 00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:56,361 I'm much more a fan of the 80s... 211 00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:59,147 [hisses, exhales] 212 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:00,757 [gags] 213 00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:03,455 Honey? Oh! [retching] 214 00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:05,806 Oh, sweetie. 215 00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:09,287 Oh, I am so sorry.Honey, no S's. 216 00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:10,462 [toilet flushes] 217 00:09:14,379 --> 00:09:15,642 Daddy home. 218 00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:17,992 How are my two favorite girl? 219 00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:20,298 Daddy, dinner's ready. 220 00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:21,822 Thanks, honey. 221 00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:42,277 ♪ 222 00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:07,128 Slower, slower. Okay, the chair. 223 00:10:07,171 --> 00:10:09,739 The chair. [gasps] Oh! 224 00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:11,262 ALL: Welcome home! 225 00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,003 I'm here. 226 00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:14,788 I'm broken, but I'm here. 227 00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:16,267 [all chuckling] 228 00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:17,747 Your mother took her surgery like a champ, 229 00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:20,054 which makes sense because taking it like a champ 230 00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:21,838 is what got her into this mess. [chuckles] 231 00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:25,146 John, everybody knows I was injured making love. 232 00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:26,234 Oh. 233 00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:28,540 Um, listen, Mom. Uh-huh? 234 00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:31,631 You let us know whatever we can do to help, okay? 235 00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:34,590 Nonsense. No, she's got all the help she needs right here. 236 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,897 You're gonna take care of me? 237 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,463 Well, I'm the one who hurt you, 238 00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:40,552 so I'm the one who has to heal you. 239 00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:41,945 It's-it's jungle law. 240 00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:43,251 JOAN: Kids, 241 00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:44,731 keep on your cell.All right. 242 00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:46,428 Keep on your cell phones.We got it. 243 00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:48,473 It's a lot harder to push that with the brake on. 244 00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:50,214 Should we tell him?No, no. 245 00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,607 We'd have to raise our voices, 246 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,348 and you know how much that upsets Mom. 247 00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:55,785 I'm sorry that took so long. 248 00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:58,570 Those wheels just did not want to turn. 249 00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:00,877 I'm hungry. Do you think 250 00:11:00,921 --> 00:11:03,488 that you could manage to make some oatmeal? 251 00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:05,577 Well, if I can haul you up the stairs, 252 00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,754 leave you there, go back downstairs, 253 00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,712 haul the wheelchair back up the stairs, 254 00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:12,149 then lift you back into it, 255 00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:14,761 I think I can whip up a little oatmeal. 256 00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,069 Voilà! 257 00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:22,464 Huh? Oatmeal à la Joanie. 258 00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:24,292 Oh! Oh. 259 00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,903 Did you make all this?Mm-hmm. 260 00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:28,992 Is that juice fresh-squeezed? 261 00:11:29,036 --> 00:11:31,952 I'd let you smell my hands, but I got too much class. 262 00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:36,478 Your mother loves your food. 263 00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:37,697 Oh! Yeah. 264 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:39,916 Thanks for being here.Oh, no problem, Dad. 265 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,918 You know what? Sam told me I looked tired today, 266 00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:44,573 so I'm happy to let her walk home from school. 267 00:11:44,616 --> 00:11:47,663 And I hope you're also happy to keep this on the down under. 268 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,969 On the what? 269 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,710 The down under. 270 00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:53,538 That's how the Australians keep it on the down low. 271 00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:56,063 Huh. Listen, you know what, Dad? It's not a problem. 272 00:11:56,106 --> 00:11:57,891 I won't say anything to Mom, okay? 273 00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,501 Just let me know when you need me. 274 00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,721 Oh, Heather, um...Yeah. 275 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:04,506 Your mom wanted a strawberry smoothie... 276 00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,377 Oh.I'll take one, too. 277 00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:07,857 Sure, Dad. 278 00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:11,252 But I want mine chocolate and more like a milkshake. 279 00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:12,732 Okay. 280 00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:14,429 But we're out of ice cream. 281 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:16,736 I-I know the market has it, so since you're there, 282 00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:17,998 I'll make you a list here. 283 00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:18,999 [quietly]: Okay. 284 00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,740 Oh, you also, uh, 285 00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,002 need to get some pens. 286 00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:24,874 Yeah, sure, some pens.Mm-hmm. 287 00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:27,529 Bras on, Joanie. 288 00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:28,399 You got visitors. 289 00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:29,966 Oh! 290 00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:34,492 Kids. Oh, what lovely flowers. 291 00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:36,843 Aren't they gorgeous? Tyler just got them for me. 292 00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,670 TYLER: Mm-hmm.Oh, here. 293 00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:42,718 "Feel better. 294 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,981 From us." 295 00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:47,114 I'll-I'll cherish this. 296 00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:50,073 Did you make this grilled cheese? 297 00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:51,814 Of course. It's easy. 298 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,947 Well, I got laundry to do. 299 00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,905 Any change I find, I get to keep. 300 00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:59,866 You know, I see Pop-Pop as a "sitting in a chair 301 00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:01,693 and expecting things" kind of guy, 302 00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:03,478 but he's really stepping up. 303 00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:08,309 Something wrong?Gruyère. 304 00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:09,832 Gruyère cheese. 305 00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:11,834 That means he went into the market. 306 00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:15,446 He didn't just sit in the car, honking the horn the whole time. 307 00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:17,144 I think it's really amazing 308 00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:18,885 that you guys still have your licenses. 309 00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:20,364 I can't believe this. 310 00:13:20,408 --> 00:13:23,498 I cook and clean for 50 years, 311 00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:27,632 and all the while, I'm married to a secret Martha Stewart. 312 00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:30,287 Okay, Dad, the laundry's gonna have to wait, okay? 313 00:13:30,331 --> 00:13:32,376 I'm working on this baked ziti for Mom. 314 00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:34,248 Oh, the baked ziti is for me. 315 00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:36,641 Uh, your mother wants Bolognese. 316 00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:37,947 What? 317 00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:40,384 Okay, the Bolognese is for me, too. 318 00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:41,429 I wasn't sure 319 00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:43,039 if I was gonna like your ziti. 320 00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:45,172 She wants a salad.Dad! 321 00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,914 Okay. Skip the salad. She ate lunch.Okay. 322 00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:49,219 You know what? 323 00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:50,873 Let Matt and Greg deal with this. 324 00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,788 Okay? Where are they? 325 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,659 They were supposed to relieve me. 326 00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:56,183 I called them off. 327 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:58,228 You know, I didn't want the food quality to drop. 328 00:13:58,272 --> 00:13:59,577 Which reminds me, 329 00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,231 I want to wow Joanie in the morning. 330 00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:04,060 You know how to make a crab Benedict? 331 00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:07,890 Yeah, I-- oh, and your mom probably just wants a bagel. 332 00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:10,719 I came here to take care of Mom, not both of you. 333 00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,329 I'm out. 334 00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:14,854 Heather, I'll drive you to the market, huh? 335 00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:16,638 And I promise not to honk. 336 00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:18,509 Heather! 337 00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:20,772 JOAN: Who's raising their voices down there? 338 00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:22,209 [whispers]: Heather. 339 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:24,907 Well, 340 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,691 look who rode into town 341 00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:28,911 with his next gourmet meal. 342 00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:31,044 Baked ziti à la Joanie. 343 00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:35,309 Uncooked pasta with ketchup. 344 00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:36,571 Well, sure, it may seem like that. 345 00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:38,965 But, actually, it's a culinary journey. 346 00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:41,271 First, you're a gourmet chef and now this? 347 00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:42,925 Well, sounds like somebody didn't see 348 00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:45,058 the uncooked hot dogs.Okay, 349 00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:47,147 I'm sleeping on a bare mattress. 350 00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:49,453 What is going on? 351 00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:52,108 Yeah, yeah, the, uh, sheets are in the pool. 352 00:14:52,152 --> 00:14:55,372 I didn't know where to go from there. 353 00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:58,941 Oh, I got, I got a confession to make, Joanie. 354 00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:01,944 All the stuff you think that I've been doing for you, 355 00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:03,163 Heather's been doing it. 356 00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,730 It was all Heather?Mm-hmm. 357 00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:09,212 You take such good care of me, I wanted to take care of you. 358 00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:10,735 Are you mad? 359 00:15:10,779 --> 00:15:11,998 I'm thrilled! 360 00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,173 Really? 361 00:15:13,216 --> 00:15:14,609 All this time, 362 00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:17,351 I thought I was married to somebody who was lazy. 363 00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:20,093 And, really, it turns out you're just... 364 00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:22,747 very, very incompetent. 365 00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:24,575 Oh, Joanie. 366 00:15:31,294 --> 00:15:32,556 MATT: Okay, so this lookbook 367 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,862 will give you a sense of who we are 368 00:15:34,906 --> 00:15:38,257 and, uh, the family that your child would actually be joining. 369 00:15:38,301 --> 00:15:40,520 COLLEEN: Binding it with shoelaces was my idea. 370 00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:41,652 Crafty mom.Yeah. 371 00:15:41,695 --> 00:15:43,393 Ugh, this isn't sweet at all. 372 00:15:43,436 --> 00:15:45,003 I asked for extra drizzle. 373 00:15:45,047 --> 00:15:47,353 Yeah, you can-- you can actually never have too much sugar. 374 00:15:48,267 --> 00:15:49,529 Yep. Babies love sugar. 375 00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:51,009 That's what makes them so sweet. 376 00:15:51,053 --> 00:15:52,358 Mm. [slurps] 377 00:15:52,402 --> 00:15:54,143 Mmm. You know what? 378 00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:55,274 It's actually not bad. It was my gum 379 00:15:55,318 --> 00:15:55,971 that was making it taste bad. 380 00:15:57,146 --> 00:15:58,843 That's convenient. 381 00:15:58,886 --> 00:16:00,149 [exhales]So, uh, 382 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:02,107 this is a picture from Halloween. 383 00:16:02,151 --> 00:16:03,630 That's actually us. I don't know if you can tell, 384 00:16:03,674 --> 00:16:05,458 but we're-we're dressed as the actual Minions. 385 00:16:05,502 --> 00:16:07,330 Oh, I love Halloween. It's the one night 386 00:16:07,373 --> 00:16:08,592 where all crime is legal. 387 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,854 Ugh. 388 00:16:09,897 --> 00:16:12,161 No way, you basic B. 389 00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:14,250 You better watch your fat back. 390 00:16:14,293 --> 00:16:17,557 Is everything okay with... your basic B? 391 00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:20,212 She's been on my ass ever since she found out I was pregnant. 392 00:16:20,256 --> 00:16:23,346 Like, come on, like my mom's never smashed a rando, right? 393 00:16:23,389 --> 00:16:26,262 So, your basic B is-is actually your mom? 394 00:16:26,305 --> 00:16:30,048 Yeah. And now she wants my ex-boyfriend's number. 395 00:16:30,092 --> 00:16:32,224 God, I can't believe they're gonna get back together. 396 00:16:32,268 --> 00:16:35,227 Anyway, I got to pee. Being pregnant blows. 397 00:16:35,271 --> 00:16:37,751 You're so lucky you can't have kids, Colleen. 398 00:16:37,795 --> 00:16:39,188 I feel lucky. 399 00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:41,755 So, so lucky. 400 00:16:44,454 --> 00:16:45,977 Do you think she likes us? I can't tell.Oh, no, no, no. 401 00:16:46,021 --> 00:16:47,370 You're doing great, you're doing great, you're doing great. 402 00:16:47,413 --> 00:16:49,067 I'm the one who can't stop saying "actually." 403 00:16:49,111 --> 00:16:51,374 I think I've actually said it, like, 14 times. 15. 404 00:16:51,417 --> 00:16:53,158 No, stop. You sound so smart. 405 00:16:53,202 --> 00:16:56,379 If I were pregnant, I would totally give us my baby. 406 00:16:56,422 --> 00:16:58,207 [chuckles] 407 00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,209 Ugh, adorbs. 408 00:17:00,252 --> 00:17:03,168 I am so weak for you. Um, unfortunately, 409 00:17:03,212 --> 00:17:05,953 my next couple's early, so you guys should probably... 410 00:17:05,997 --> 00:17:07,129 skedaddle. 411 00:17:07,172 --> 00:17:08,608 Your next couple? 412 00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:11,046 Bradford, Poppy. Matt and Colleen. 413 00:17:11,089 --> 00:17:12,917 Hi.Hi. 414 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,224 Look at the jaundice your other children have. 415 00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:18,009 [chuckles]Oh, that's-that's actually us dressed up as Minions. 416 00:17:18,053 --> 00:17:19,706 Cute.Oh. 417 00:17:19,750 --> 00:17:21,230 Okay.Yeah. 418 00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:24,015 See you. MATT: All right. 419 00:17:24,059 --> 00:17:26,235 Sorry. Excuse me.Thank you. Sorry. Excuse us. 420 00:17:26,278 --> 00:17:28,759 Well, here is our digital lookbook. 421 00:17:28,802 --> 00:17:30,326 I hope you don't mind it's on a tablet. 422 00:17:30,369 --> 00:17:31,936 Which you can keep. 423 00:17:31,979 --> 00:17:34,547 What? My God, thank you so much.[Poppy chuckles] 424 00:17:34,591 --> 00:17:35,635 POPPY: You're so welcome.What? 425 00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:36,636 Um, they're hugging?I'm sorry. 426 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,334 I thought that she was weak for us. 427 00:17:41,902 --> 00:17:43,339 [grunts] I told you 428 00:17:43,382 --> 00:17:45,210 we shouldn't have put the Minions picture on the cover. 429 00:17:45,254 --> 00:17:48,431 We look like two Twinkies stuffed in denim wrappers.Oh. 430 00:17:48,474 --> 00:17:50,520 Is that actually on me, actually? 431 00:17:50,563 --> 00:17:51,869 I mean, do you even know 432 00:17:51,912 --> 00:17:53,523 any other words in the English language? 433 00:17:53,566 --> 00:17:54,915 I know the word "gift." You know, that thing 434 00:17:54,959 --> 00:17:56,091 that you said we shouldn't bring. 435 00:17:56,134 --> 00:17:57,440 Okay, look, 436 00:17:57,483 --> 00:17:58,832 I don't want us to turn on each other 437 00:17:58,876 --> 00:18:00,530 just because you screwed up so bad. 438 00:18:01,835 --> 00:18:04,142 Just ask Molly 439 00:18:04,186 --> 00:18:06,449 to give you the truck when she's done with it, Lucas. 440 00:18:06,492 --> 00:18:07,885 She'll bite me. 441 00:18:07,928 --> 00:18:09,234 Well, then roll down your sleeves. 442 00:18:10,931 --> 00:18:12,368 Good luck. 443 00:18:12,411 --> 00:18:14,500 Yeah, he's gonna get bit.MATT: Sheesh. 444 00:18:14,544 --> 00:18:15,936 So, I-I haven't connected 445 00:18:15,980 --> 00:18:17,634 with Morgan yet, but how did your meeting go? 446 00:18:17,677 --> 00:18:19,549 Mm.Oh, we blew it. Colleen said a whole bunch of stuff 447 00:18:19,592 --> 00:18:21,159 that she totally regrets.Um... 448 00:18:21,203 --> 00:18:23,205 we bothare filled with regret and rage 449 00:18:23,248 --> 00:18:24,945 for one another.Mm-hmm. 450 00:18:24,989 --> 00:18:26,338 Okay. Well, that's marriage. You know, 451 00:18:26,382 --> 00:18:27,600 I threw a tea kettle at my husband this morning. 452 00:18:27,644 --> 00:18:30,037 But I'm sure you guys did fine. 453 00:18:30,081 --> 00:18:32,083 Well, we didn't know that this was a competition. 454 00:18:32,127 --> 00:18:34,781 We would be the perfect parents to this little baby. 455 00:18:34,825 --> 00:18:37,088 We just need more time to prove it to Morgan. 456 00:18:37,132 --> 00:18:38,742 I know how much this means to you, 457 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,526 but, unfortunately, Morgan's catching a bus 458 00:18:40,570 --> 00:18:41,658 back to Modesto today. 459 00:18:41,701 --> 00:18:43,442 The best thing you can do 460 00:18:43,486 --> 00:18:45,183 is be patient and wait. 461 00:18:45,227 --> 00:18:46,358 LUCAS: Ow, she bit me! 462 00:18:46,402 --> 00:18:47,925 All right, it begins. I'm sorry. 463 00:18:47,968 --> 00:18:49,100 [sighs] 464 00:18:57,646 --> 00:19:01,302 Wh-What's up, guys? This is weird. 465 00:19:01,346 --> 00:19:03,435 It's actually the opposite of weird. 466 00:19:03,478 --> 00:19:06,960 [chuckles] I see how you fell into that "actually" trap.Yep. 467 00:19:07,003 --> 00:19:08,744 Oh. 468 00:19:08,788 --> 00:19:11,138 I'm sorry, do you have beef with my bump or something? 469 00:19:11,182 --> 00:19:12,574 Hey, why don't you come say it to my face, then?Hey. 470 00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:13,706 Why don't you...So good to see you. 471 00:19:13,749 --> 00:19:14,924 Yeah, it's, uh, 472 00:19:14,968 --> 00:19:16,578 it's good to see you guys, too.Yeah. 473 00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:18,189 Yeah, our conversation got cut short earlier. 474 00:19:18,232 --> 00:19:20,539 We just didn't get a chance to give you our gift. 475 00:19:20,582 --> 00:19:22,932 We made you a new lookbook.Oh. 476 00:19:22,976 --> 00:19:25,718 Wow, this is, um... 477 00:19:25,761 --> 00:19:27,328 I don't get it. This is blank. 478 00:19:27,372 --> 00:19:29,722 Am I supposed to be, like, blind to read this or something? 479 00:19:29,765 --> 00:19:31,767 No, no, no, no. It's supposed to be blank. 480 00:19:31,811 --> 00:19:34,074 We got to talking about the lookbook 481 00:19:34,117 --> 00:19:35,467 that we gave you before, 482 00:19:35,510 --> 00:19:38,687 and that's just pictures of us before having a baby. 483 00:19:38,731 --> 00:19:40,167 And what we really want you to see 484 00:19:40,211 --> 00:19:42,561 is what our lives are gonna look like with the baby. 485 00:19:42,604 --> 00:19:45,085 If you pick us, we will fill that book with amazing photos 486 00:19:45,128 --> 00:19:47,130 of the life that baby will have. 487 00:19:47,174 --> 00:19:50,046 I'm sorry, I really just don't feel comfortable taking this. 488 00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:51,787 Okay.Okay. 489 00:19:51,831 --> 00:19:53,485 I don't know, it's just kind of stupid. 490 00:19:53,528 --> 00:19:54,964 [chuckles]: You already gave me a lookbook 491 00:19:55,008 --> 00:19:57,271 with you guys as Minions on it, and I loved that. 492 00:19:57,315 --> 00:19:59,273 You did?I, uh, 493 00:19:59,317 --> 00:20:01,188 I saw that movie with my dad. 494 00:20:01,232 --> 00:20:03,277 And I don't really have a lot of memories with him, 495 00:20:03,321 --> 00:20:06,237 so that's my favorite one. 496 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:07,890 That's so sweet. 497 00:20:07,934 --> 00:20:09,414 When I saw you guys dressed up like that, 498 00:20:09,457 --> 00:20:11,329 looking all stupid and stuff, 499 00:20:11,372 --> 00:20:13,809 it kind of just felt like maybe it was a sign or something. 500 00:20:13,853 --> 00:20:17,422 You know, that this whole mess that I got myself into... 501 00:20:17,465 --> 00:20:19,772 maybe it was meant to be, 502 00:20:19,815 --> 00:20:21,208 and that this... 503 00:20:21,252 --> 00:20:23,384 this thing belongs with you. 504 00:20:23,428 --> 00:20:26,300 With us?You're picking us? 505 00:20:26,344 --> 00:20:28,563 Yeah! [laughs] 506 00:20:28,607 --> 00:20:31,174 No, no, no. Don't cry. Don't cry. We don't... No.Okay, yeah. Never. 507 00:20:31,218 --> 00:20:33,089 My bus is gonna leave soon, so I should probably get going. 508 00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:34,874 Maybe I can just move in with you guys on, like, Saturday 509 00:20:34,917 --> 00:20:36,267 or something like that?BOTH: Yeah. 510 00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:38,312 And-- crap. My rats can't ride the bus with me. 511 00:20:38,356 --> 00:20:40,619 Rats. Rats, rats, rats.It's some sort of legal thing. 512 00:20:40,662 --> 00:20:42,229 But we'll figure that out later. Thank you so much.Yeah. 513 00:20:42,273 --> 00:20:45,276 Bye. Okay, bye.Bye. 514 00:20:45,319 --> 00:20:47,713 We're having a baby. 515 00:20:47,756 --> 00:20:50,019 I am so weak for you. 516 00:20:50,063 --> 00:20:51,673 [both laugh] 517 00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:52,718 Captioning sponsored by CBS 34960

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