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1
00:01:00,454 --> 00:01:03,335
Okay, BuzzFeed,
what kind of animal am I?
2
00:01:05,464 --> 00:01:06,466
A sloth?
3
00:01:08,762 --> 00:01:09,764
How rude.
4
00:01:16,570 --> 00:01:18,156
We picked out my prom dress.
5
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,619
Uh, no, I picked out your prom dress.
6
00:01:21,413 --> 00:01:23,333
You're just gonna look gorgeous in it.
7
00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:27,383
And with what we paid for it,
it'll be your wedding dress, too.
8
00:01:28,468 --> 00:01:31,683
Oh, prom.
Brings back so many memories.
9
00:01:32,727 --> 00:01:34,272
Wait. The punch was spiked.
10
00:01:35,107 --> 00:01:37,486
You know what?
Actually, no memories whatsoever.
11
00:01:38,196 --> 00:01:41,160
But the arresting officer did say
I had a really good time.
12
00:01:42,789 --> 00:01:44,960
Oh, I remember my first prom.
13
00:01:45,294 --> 00:01:48,216
I went with a very nice Scottish boy
named Ewan McGregor.
14
00:01:49,469 --> 00:01:53,059
Oh, no relation. This is the one
who played Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars.
15
00:01:55,522 --> 00:01:58,236
Anyway, I'm glad Casey and I
decided to go together.
16
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,198
We do not need dates to have a good time.
17
00:02:00,449 --> 00:02:03,497
Aw. And the more she says that,
the more I believe it.
18
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:05,793
I don't believe it.
19
00:02:07,212 --> 00:02:09,801
Let's go upstairs and work on
our photo-booth poses.
20
00:02:10,051 --> 00:02:11,051
I got one.
21
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:15,604
We can build on that.
22
00:02:19,278 --> 00:02:22,493
Oh. This is gonna be a great prom.
23
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:25,081
The theme is "Under The Sea."
24
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,087
That's amazing.
Do you have thingamabobs?
25
00:02:28,296 --> 00:02:29,296
I've got plenty.
26
00:02:30,425 --> 00:02:33,807
And I designed these chaperone badges.
27
00:02:33,891 --> 00:02:36,229
This allows me to get into any prom
without a warrant.
28
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,445
Plus, Cosmo and I
did a full sweep of the gym,
29
00:02:40,529 --> 00:02:43,994
and the good news is,
Cosmo didn't sniff out any contraband.
30
00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:48,879
Yeah, the bad news is,
he got into the donuts,
31
00:02:48,962 --> 00:02:50,799
and he's riding a wicked sugar high.
32
00:02:53,012 --> 00:02:55,935
Yeah, he got the last maple bar.
We are not speaking.
33
00:02:57,312 --> 00:02:58,356
Too soon, dude.
34
00:03:00,861 --> 00:03:04,493
Oh, and guess who
was just elected head chaperone.
35
00:03:04,577 --> 00:03:06,372
Oh, I can't wait. It was me.
36
00:03:07,249 --> 00:03:09,587
No one else was even at the meeting,
were they?
37
00:03:09,796 --> 00:03:10,965
Don't ruin this for me.
38
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,933
You're taking this whole chaperone thing
a little too seriously.
39
00:03:16,016 --> 00:03:19,440
I just want everyone to have
a safe and wholesome night.
40
00:03:19,523 --> 00:03:22,780
It only takes one bad apple
to spoil the prom for everyone.
41
00:03:23,698 --> 00:03:25,828
Do you ever think you might be that apple?
42
00:03:34,178 --> 00:03:36,516
Okay, Fuller. I got your text. What's up?
43
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,144
Surprise.
44
00:03:40,023 --> 00:03:42,611
Uh, what is wrong with this family?
45
00:03:44,365 --> 00:03:46,619
It's a promposal. Will you be my...
46
00:03:46,995 --> 00:03:48,665
primate prom mate?
47
00:03:50,377 --> 00:03:52,381
Mm, this is super-cute.
48
00:03:52,464 --> 00:03:53,717
I hate cute.
49
00:03:55,637 --> 00:03:58,226
Then I wish I could stop
what happens next.
50
00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:03,695
Please say yes.
51
00:04:04,613 --> 00:04:05,908
Not now, Tommy.
52
00:04:11,878 --> 00:04:13,590
Look, we've been over this. Okay?
53
00:04:13,673 --> 00:04:17,640
Prom is an archaic representation
of the heteronormative jock culture
54
00:04:17,723 --> 00:04:21,230
with a dress code that targets girls
in order to control our bodies.
55
00:04:22,608 --> 00:04:24,069
So that's a solid maybe?
56
00:04:26,992 --> 00:04:29,914
Come on,
I'm the only freshman on the team.
57
00:04:29,998 --> 00:04:31,459
All the other guys have dates.
58
00:04:31,542 --> 00:04:34,089
I can't show up to prom
looking like a loser.
59
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:38,181
You realize you're saying all this
while dressed like a gorilla?
60
00:04:39,183 --> 00:04:41,228
Please, Rocki,
this is a big deal to me.
61
00:04:42,731 --> 00:04:45,111
- Okay, fine, I'll go.
- Yes.
62
00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:47,533
But I'm not gonna have fun.
63
00:04:48,952 --> 00:04:51,582
No one will. My mom is chaperoning.
64
00:04:56,843 --> 00:04:59,348
Okay, everybody, say "sweet cheese."
65
00:04:59,431 --> 00:05:00,767
Sweet cheese.
66
00:05:02,855 --> 00:05:04,525
Yeah, we're gonna do that again.
67
00:05:05,569 --> 00:05:09,326
Um, maybe a little sparkle this time,
Wednesday Addams.
68
00:05:11,121 --> 00:05:12,499
This is my sparkle.
69
00:05:14,002 --> 00:05:16,507
I get photo approval
before you post anything, Max.
70
00:05:17,927 --> 00:05:20,139
Aw, I look amazing in all of these.
71
00:05:23,062 --> 00:05:24,440
Can we go? Uber's waiting.
72
00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:27,654
Aw, it's Ron in a Buick.
73
00:05:27,738 --> 00:05:29,992
Oh, I like that guy.
74
00:05:30,076 --> 00:05:31,120
He always has water.
75
00:05:32,998 --> 00:05:35,921
Oh, I can't believe our little girl
is going to prom
76
00:05:36,213 --> 00:05:37,466
and using rideshare.
77
00:05:39,386 --> 00:05:41,140
They grow up so fast.
78
00:05:41,223 --> 00:05:44,187
Just last week,
I thought Casey was straight.
79
00:05:46,317 --> 00:05:48,529
- All right, have a great time, honey.
- Thank you.
80
00:05:48,613 --> 00:05:50,366
- Bye.
- I love you.
81
00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,955
Bye. Make good choices.
82
00:05:58,716 --> 00:06:01,555
Oh, it's one of our last
bonding nights together
83
00:06:01,639 --> 00:06:02,808
before the baby comes.
84
00:06:03,142 --> 00:06:06,273
And we have the house to ourselves.
What's our favorite way to have fun?
85
00:06:06,732 --> 00:06:08,027
A good cry.
86
00:06:09,989 --> 00:06:13,538
Okay, I've got Beaches,
Terms of Endearment and Steel Magnolias.
87
00:06:13,663 --> 00:06:15,583
- What are we missing?
- The Notebook.
88
00:06:17,128 --> 00:06:19,842
And we've got cauliflower,
cucumbers, and carrots.
89
00:06:20,134 --> 00:06:21,595
What are we missing?
90
00:06:21,679 --> 00:06:23,098
- Carrot cake.
- Aha.
91
00:06:29,403 --> 00:06:32,242
Hear ye. Hear ye. Hear ye.
92
00:06:32,576 --> 00:06:33,870
Trust us, we hear ye.
93
00:06:35,790 --> 00:06:37,460
Joey, why are ye here?
94
00:06:38,922 --> 00:06:39,922
He's here for me.
95
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:44,808
It was one year ago today
96
00:06:44,892 --> 00:06:49,610
that Joey suffered a humiliating defeat
at the hands of this chili master.
97
00:06:51,447 --> 00:06:54,912
If we don't ask any follow-up questions,
we can just sneak right out of here.
98
00:06:55,747 --> 00:06:57,208
I anticipated this,
99
00:06:57,292 --> 00:07:00,172
and I took the liberty
of hiding the DVD player
100
00:07:00,256 --> 00:07:01,926
because we need chili judges.
101
00:07:04,139 --> 00:07:06,477
Oh, believe me,
you're constantly being judged.
102
00:07:08,606 --> 00:07:11,612
Well, today is the day I avenge my loss
103
00:07:11,695 --> 00:07:15,328
in the chili chilipalooza of chili.
104
00:07:17,582 --> 00:07:20,129
You really want a rematch,
Mr. Funny Voice?
105
00:07:21,423 --> 00:07:24,513
On the racing circuit,
my nickname is Fire-nando.
106
00:07:25,932 --> 00:07:28,855
And not just because of my history
of fiery crashes
107
00:07:28,938 --> 00:07:30,942
and a mysterious skin condition.
108
00:07:32,278 --> 00:07:35,242
Ho ho ho. We are doing this.
109
00:07:35,994 --> 00:07:39,793
What name would you like me
to put on your second-place trophy?
110
00:07:42,340 --> 00:07:43,425
Seriously, you two?
111
00:07:43,509 --> 00:07:45,889
This is the worst trash talk
I've ever heard.
112
00:07:47,851 --> 00:07:50,105
I'd much rather
be watching Debra Winger die.
113
00:07:50,189 --> 00:07:51,189
Mm.
114
00:08:03,925 --> 00:08:06,137
Huh, sweetie? What did I tell you?
115
00:08:06,221 --> 00:08:10,229
You were right. If I didn't know better,
I'd totally think we were under the sea.
116
00:08:11,941 --> 00:08:16,408
- Hey, you know what would be fun?
- If we hung balloons by the fire exits?
117
00:08:16,491 --> 00:08:20,374
Or if we got down with our bad selves
and boogied.
118
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,714
I'm not here to be a bad anything.
119
00:08:23,798 --> 00:08:25,635
I am here to maintain order.
120
00:08:25,718 --> 00:08:29,309
Do you know how long it took me
to get this official chaperone badge?
121
00:08:30,102 --> 00:08:33,609
I had to change the toner on the printer
so you could make it at home.
122
00:08:33,693 --> 00:08:36,072
What? Shh. They don't know that.
123
00:08:37,158 --> 00:08:40,331
Come on, Deej. Let's just have fun
like we did at our last prom.
124
00:08:40,915 --> 00:08:43,086
Aw, that was fun.
125
00:08:43,170 --> 00:08:45,925
not only did you show up
out of the blue to take me,
126
00:08:46,009 --> 00:08:49,224
but Michelle got over her amnesia.
127
00:08:50,184 --> 00:08:52,605
But, no. Tonight, I am here to chaperone.
128
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:57,699
Hold that thought.
We have a situation in quadrant four.
129
00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:02,834
Would you like me to hose you down,
'cause I will.
130
00:09:07,635 --> 00:09:12,228
Look at that. Fully exposed back.
Totally inappropriate prom wear.
131
00:09:14,649 --> 00:09:16,027
Excuse me, young lady.
132
00:09:16,779 --> 00:09:18,741
Thanks for calling me young, Deej.
133
00:09:20,202 --> 00:09:22,248
Gia, what are you doing here?
134
00:09:22,331 --> 00:09:25,504
I'm chaperoning.
I need the volunteer hours.
135
00:09:25,588 --> 00:09:28,093
You drive through the carpool lane
the wrong way
136
00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:31,600
and graze a crossing guard one time,
and it's like you're a bad mom.
137
00:09:33,228 --> 00:09:36,067
You're the one that took out Larry,
the war hero?
138
00:09:37,111 --> 00:09:40,952
In my defense,
I was eating a churro and texting.
139
00:09:42,121 --> 00:09:44,626
Plus, Rocki's here with some dork.
140
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,588
Dork? That's my son.
141
00:09:46,672 --> 00:09:47,966
I know.
142
00:09:50,429 --> 00:09:53,602
- All right.
- Okay, I came. Now can we go?
143
00:09:54,228 --> 00:09:55,230
We just got here.
144
00:09:56,566 --> 00:10:00,157
Oh, no. My mom's seen us.
Don't make eye contact.
145
00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,372
Too late. She's got us in her crosshairs.
146
00:10:05,626 --> 00:10:07,714
Oh, look at you two.
147
00:10:08,382 --> 00:10:10,636
My baby's first prom,
148
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,392
and my baby's first prom date.
149
00:10:14,227 --> 00:10:15,730
I'm sorry, ma'am. Who are you?
150
00:10:16,773 --> 00:10:20,197
Oh, my baby's ignoring me
at his first prom.
151
00:10:21,658 --> 00:10:24,414
Leaving now. Remember, not your son.
152
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,129
Have fun, sweetie.
153
00:10:30,342 --> 00:10:31,887
The football guys are over there,
154
00:10:31,970 --> 00:10:34,475
but don't bring up
head trauma or concussions.
155
00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:37,314
You're killing me, Fuller.
That's all I know about football.
156
00:10:38,149 --> 00:10:40,905
- Yo, Gold Toe.
- Yo, Golden Arm.
157
00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:42,658
Oh, Golden Barf.
158
00:10:45,664 --> 00:10:48,044
We are definitely
the hottest non-couple here.
159
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:53,388
I feel sorry for those who aren't us.
160
00:10:55,476 --> 00:10:56,853
Oh, and one for the haters.
161
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:11,007
Nice dress. And I thought you bought
all your clothes at Baby Gap.
162
00:11:12,593 --> 00:11:15,641
And I thought you bought all your insults
at Forever 20-Dumb.
163
00:11:17,603 --> 00:11:20,317
Well, I'd love to stay and slum,
164
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:21,862
but my date's waiting.
165
00:11:24,909 --> 00:11:26,078
Hey, Ramona.
166
00:11:27,373 --> 00:11:28,375
Popko.
167
00:11:29,293 --> 00:11:32,675
Oh, Popko is your date?
I thought he was your son.
168
00:11:35,430 --> 00:11:36,975
It's been a long time.
169
00:11:37,810 --> 00:11:38,810
You look nice.
170
00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:41,693
Let's go, Robert.
171
00:11:43,530 --> 00:11:45,283
And stand up straight.
172
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:53,132
Seriously? My ex-boyfriend is with Sienna?
173
00:11:53,717 --> 00:11:55,303
Hey, well, don't freak out.
174
00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:57,015
Look, he's not worth it.
175
00:11:57,099 --> 00:11:59,353
You spent three hours at Sephora
on that face.
176
00:12:00,564 --> 00:12:03,278
Well, granted,
we spent the first two hours on my face.
177
00:12:17,807 --> 00:12:21,731
There is no way your chili
will ever be as spicy as mine.
178
00:12:21,815 --> 00:12:25,948
One time, a guy tried my chili
and had to have his tongue replaced.
179
00:12:28,077 --> 00:12:29,121
True story.
180
00:12:33,672 --> 00:12:36,720
Well, one time,
a friend of mine tried my chili
181
00:12:36,803 --> 00:12:39,266
and his head actually exploded.
182
00:12:41,312 --> 00:12:44,777
And he still wanted more.
He asked me to scoop it into his neck.
183
00:12:46,614 --> 00:12:47,616
Truer story.
184
00:12:51,416 --> 00:12:54,505
Okay, if we promise to try your chili,
185
00:12:54,589 --> 00:12:56,927
will you please
give us the DVD player back?
186
00:12:57,219 --> 00:13:00,809
What could be more entertaining
than two grown men bickering over chili?
187
00:13:03,356 --> 00:13:06,195
I don't know. This may be
the pregnancy hormones talking,
188
00:13:06,279 --> 00:13:07,740
but I am really into this.
189
00:13:09,786 --> 00:13:11,497
Steph, would you like to step up
190
00:13:11,581 --> 00:13:14,587
and sample
what award-winning chili tastes like?
191
00:13:17,802 --> 00:13:20,975
Not really, but it seems like the thing
we're doing today, so why not?
192
00:13:22,352 --> 00:13:23,563
I want to taste it, too.
193
00:13:23,647 --> 00:13:26,694
Wait. Should you be eating spicy food
with a baby on the way?
194
00:13:27,321 --> 00:13:30,452
I'm sure if it's too spicy,
the kid will kick me in the ribs.
195
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:33,667
Oh, I love this kid already.
196
00:13:35,378 --> 00:13:36,589
All right, let's dig in.
197
00:13:38,009 --> 00:13:40,555
Mmm. It's not bad.
198
00:13:40,639 --> 00:13:43,895
In three, two, one...
199
00:13:44,689 --> 00:13:45,691
Uh-oh.
200
00:13:50,492 --> 00:13:54,458
It's too burning. Hot. Hot.
201
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:15,333
Hey, could you do me a solid and play
Bryan Adams "Everything I Do"?
202
00:14:15,417 --> 00:14:18,840
The kids already hate me. You want them
to smash my car windows, too?
203
00:14:20,009 --> 00:14:22,389
The last time I went to the prom
with my girlfriend,
204
00:14:22,472 --> 00:14:26,063
we never got to dance to our song.
Plus, her sister had amnesia.
205
00:14:27,232 --> 00:14:30,280
Not sure why that's important,
but I thought you should know.
206
00:14:31,741 --> 00:14:33,661
Anyway, after that,
we kind of drifted apart,
207
00:14:33,745 --> 00:14:36,667
and I was hoping tonight could signify
kind of a redo. You know?
208
00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:40,467
I wish I had amnesia
so I could forget this story.
209
00:14:47,439 --> 00:14:51,071
Don't look now, but Ryan Cooper
is totally checking you out.
210
00:14:52,198 --> 00:14:54,161
Great job at not looking now.
211
00:14:55,163 --> 00:14:56,582
- What do I do?
- Okay.
212
00:14:56,666 --> 00:15:00,924
Just breathe and, um, walk over there
and talk about yourself.
213
00:15:01,008 --> 00:15:03,095
Oh, I'm good at that.
214
00:15:03,972 --> 00:15:07,646
But I can't just leave you here.
We came here to have fun without guys.
215
00:15:08,648 --> 00:15:11,445
That's just something
people without boyfriends say.
216
00:15:11,529 --> 00:15:12,739
Go. Go have fun.
217
00:15:14,159 --> 00:15:16,288
Okay, I'm gonna do this.
Later, potater.
218
00:15:23,553 --> 00:15:25,807
So I'm all by myself at the prom.
219
00:15:28,938 --> 00:15:31,068
Ramona, would you like some punch?
220
00:15:31,151 --> 00:15:34,241
Oh, why, I would love some, Ramona.
Oh, thank you.
221
00:15:37,873 --> 00:15:39,543
Then the pocket collapsed.
222
00:15:39,626 --> 00:15:42,549
I found the open receiver; touchdown.
223
00:15:42,632 --> 00:15:44,553
- I was like...
- That was so awesome.
224
00:15:44,636 --> 00:15:45,972
- Damn straight.
- Yeah.
225
00:15:48,143 --> 00:15:50,899
Didn't we just talk about this,
like, five minutes ago?
226
00:15:50,982 --> 00:15:54,114
No, that was against Central High.
This is against Mid Central High.
227
00:15:55,491 --> 00:15:58,456
Would you excuse me?
I'm gonna go leak this story to ESPN.
228
00:15:58,539 --> 00:16:00,209
Oh.
229
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,295
- How nice.
- Dude.
230
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,591
Remember the game
against South Mid Central High?
231
00:16:03,674 --> 00:16:04,843
Oh, my God. Yeah, bro.
232
00:16:04,927 --> 00:16:08,142
Okay, okay. So...
then the pocket collapsed, right?
233
00:16:09,394 --> 00:16:12,734
Hey, Rocki. Look at you
looking all heteronormative.
234
00:16:14,404 --> 00:16:16,909
I must really like Jackson.
235
00:16:16,993 --> 00:16:19,539
I think I have a concussion
from listening to them.
236
00:16:21,961 --> 00:16:23,673
- You wanna dance?
- Why not?
237
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:28,766
But this DJ sucks. I have a strange urge
to smash his car windows.
238
00:16:34,152 --> 00:16:35,822
That better not be alcohol.
239
00:16:35,905 --> 00:16:38,160
No. I'm adding punch to punch.
240
00:16:40,414 --> 00:16:42,711
I cannot let you do that
on school property.
241
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:45,675
- I took the chaperone's oath.
- You wrote the oath.
242
00:16:46,635 --> 00:16:48,138
- Give me the cup, Gia.
- No.
243
00:16:48,222 --> 00:16:49,516
- Give it to me.
- No.
244
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:50,602
Give it to...
245
00:16:50,685 --> 00:16:54,150
Oh, great. There was
three shots of vodka in there.
246
00:16:56,238 --> 00:16:58,117
This is so typical of you.
247
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,415
Well, don't worry.
I have an extra glass in my car.
248
00:17:02,083 --> 00:17:03,252
Why would I be worried?
249
00:17:03,335 --> 00:17:05,715
Exactly. Don't be.
250
00:17:07,009 --> 00:17:08,429
I'm not.
251
00:17:09,848 --> 00:17:12,562
All clear in the boys' room.
Oh, is everything alright here?
252
00:17:12,646 --> 00:17:15,192
Yeah, I'm fine.
I just, I have to get this out.
253
00:17:16,487 --> 00:17:19,033
Great. So, I'm alone at the prom.
254
00:17:19,117 --> 00:17:21,079
Hey, Steve,
would you like some punch?
255
00:17:21,163 --> 00:17:23,876
Thank you. Oh, my God,
I would love some. Thank you, Steve.
256
00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:28,803
So, dude, what's up
with that date of yours?
257
00:17:28,886 --> 00:17:32,352
- You mean Rocki?
- More like Rocky Horror, you know?
258
00:17:34,189 --> 00:17:38,614
Yeah, well, she's a little offbeat.
She has her own unique look.
259
00:17:38,698 --> 00:17:41,871
Unfortunately, we're the ones
who gotta look at it. You know? Ha!
260
00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:47,674
Is there no one else you could come
to prom with? I mean, did you lose a bet?
261
00:17:47,757 --> 00:17:50,429
- Come on.
- Yeah.
262
00:17:50,513 --> 00:17:54,396
I didn't know she was gonna show up
looking like Harley Quinn, right?
263
00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:59,698
I mean, where'd she get that dress,
from the Crypt Keeper?
264
00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:06,002
Rocki, I didn't mean it.
265
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,131
Fuller, you suck.
266
00:18:10,094 --> 00:18:12,599
What's wrong? How could you
say those things about Rocki?
267
00:18:12,682 --> 00:18:14,561
I didn't know she was standing there.
268
00:18:14,644 --> 00:18:16,607
Like that makes it any better?
269
00:18:22,326 --> 00:18:25,625
Now, no matter whose chili wins,
there will be no pouting.
270
00:18:25,708 --> 00:18:26,710
Right, Joey?
271
00:18:28,839 --> 00:18:32,012
Well, I would like to make that promise,
but since I'm going to win,
272
00:18:32,096 --> 00:18:34,476
I don't have to because mine is best.
273
00:18:36,271 --> 00:18:37,774
Mine is bester.
274
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:41,239
Oh, stop it. You're both pretty.
275
00:18:42,867 --> 00:18:44,997
Yeah, ladies, commence your tasting.
276
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:49,380
And remember; everybody's a winner,
except for the person who loses.
277
00:18:52,887 --> 00:18:53,931
Pick one already.
278
00:18:54,015 --> 00:18:56,227
Come on. The wait is killing me.
279
00:18:58,023 --> 00:18:59,943
Okay. Okay.
280
00:19:00,528 --> 00:19:03,450
I pick this one,
mainly because I want this to be over.
281
00:19:05,538 --> 00:19:07,750
Yes, yes-s-s-s.
282
00:19:10,673 --> 00:19:12,385
I wonder whose it was.
283
00:19:13,888 --> 00:19:15,098
Well, I pick this one.
284
00:19:15,182 --> 00:19:17,937
The subtle hint of barnyard animal
put it over the top.
285
00:19:19,315 --> 00:19:22,363
Yes. Yak comes through every time.
286
00:19:24,576 --> 00:19:27,039
Oh, yuck. I was eating yak?
287
00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:29,210
Ugh, I'm gonna yack.
288
00:19:31,214 --> 00:19:33,886
It's a tie. Max, it's up to you.
289
00:19:33,969 --> 00:19:38,562
I knew it would come to this. That's why
I ate three Weight Watcher points all day.
290
00:19:40,315 --> 00:19:41,735
And put on my stretchy vest.
291
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:51,838
Oh, he likes mine.
292
00:19:51,922 --> 00:19:53,341
No, he likes mine.
293
00:19:53,425 --> 00:19:55,304
He likes mine. Mine.
294
00:19:55,805 --> 00:19:57,224
Eh, I've come to a decision.
295
00:19:59,145 --> 00:20:00,564
- No, don't...
- No.
296
00:20:00,648 --> 00:20:01,858
- No.
- Doh...
297
00:20:07,495 --> 00:20:11,670
Mm-hmm. Mm. Yes, gentlemen,
individually, your chilies were fine.
298
00:20:12,546 --> 00:20:15,302
But together,
they were a beautiful tapestry
299
00:20:15,385 --> 00:20:18,141
of cooperation, kindness, and beans.
300
00:20:23,234 --> 00:20:26,491
Is Max trying to deliver a message
using a chili cook-off?
301
00:20:28,871 --> 00:20:31,793
Typical. In the Fuller House,
even the chilies have to hug.
302
00:20:33,881 --> 00:20:35,634
Okay, now can we go watch Beaches?
303
00:20:35,718 --> 00:20:38,056
You were gonna watch Beaches?
304
00:20:39,183 --> 00:20:42,815
Why did you let us waste all this time
in some silly chili cook-off?
305
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,825
You mean all this time,
I could've been crying
306
00:20:47,909 --> 00:20:49,286
instead of making chili?
307
00:20:49,370 --> 00:20:50,956
I don't even like chili.
308
00:20:55,382 --> 00:20:56,593
What happened?
309
00:20:56,676 --> 00:21:00,893
Gia. That's what happened. Of course,
that could be the answer to anything.
310
00:21:00,977 --> 00:21:01,977
What's going on?
311
00:21:02,396 --> 00:21:03,857
What? Nothing, I'm fine.
312
00:21:03,941 --> 00:21:06,279
You just seem
really out of sorts tonight.
313
00:21:06,362 --> 00:21:09,619
Because the last time we were at prom,
it was a perfect night.
314
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:10,913
That doesn't sound awful.
315
00:21:11,372 --> 00:21:14,086
But then, after that night,
you went back to college.
316
00:21:14,170 --> 00:21:16,549
And... for whatever reason,
317
00:21:16,633 --> 00:21:19,889
we didn't see each other
for the next 25 years, and...
318
00:21:20,307 --> 00:21:22,311
just being back here at Jackson's prom
319
00:21:22,394 --> 00:21:25,442
is triggering all those feelings
and I don't want to lose you again.
320
00:21:26,528 --> 00:21:27,947
You're not gonna lose me.
321
00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:37,633
No kissing on the dance floor.
322
00:21:37,717 --> 00:21:40,472
I know the rules. I wrote the rules.
323
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,200
Hey.
324
00:21:52,663 --> 00:21:54,500
Shouldn't you be with your mother?
325
00:21:56,504 --> 00:21:57,506
I mean your date.
326
00:21:58,466 --> 00:21:59,510
She ditched me.
327
00:22:00,763 --> 00:22:01,765
Mind if I sit down?
328
00:22:07,109 --> 00:22:11,701
The truth is... I only came with Sienna
because the girl I wanted to come with...
329
00:22:11,785 --> 00:22:12,785
hates me.
330
00:22:13,956 --> 00:22:15,584
Someone hates you besides me?
331
00:22:17,755 --> 00:22:19,049
I deserve that.
332
00:22:20,719 --> 00:22:21,930
Ramona, I messed up.
333
00:22:23,015 --> 00:22:24,811
I'm really sorry I hurt you.
334
00:22:24,894 --> 00:22:28,151
I... can't believe
I let go of someone so amazing.
335
00:22:30,071 --> 00:22:32,159
Go on. You're making some sense.
336
00:22:34,204 --> 00:22:36,918
I miss you, even as a friend.
337
00:22:38,087 --> 00:22:40,342
Is there any chance
we can go back to that?
338
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:48,024
I guess since we're both alone,
we could hang out.
339
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:52,366
But if a super-cute guy
asks me to hang out, I'm gone.
340
00:22:52,741 --> 00:22:53,827
And he will.
341
00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:58,127
Wanna dance?
342
00:23:00,799 --> 00:23:04,306
Why not? But when a cute guy shows up,
I'm gone.
343
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:15,036
The kids may not have appreciated
you taking over the soul train, but...
344
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,791
I was pretty impressed
with your break-dancing skills.
345
00:23:19,294 --> 00:23:22,467
Thanks, but spinning on my head
was not the smartest move.
346
00:23:22,551 --> 00:23:24,680
I could've used my 90's hair for cushion.
347
00:23:28,354 --> 00:23:30,776
This is great chili.
I didn't realize how starving I was.
348
00:23:30,859 --> 00:23:33,907
I know. It's like a hug in a bowl.
349
00:23:36,245 --> 00:23:37,414
With a touch of yak.
350
00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:40,670
I thought I imagined that.
351
00:23:42,841 --> 00:23:44,595
Look at us. We went to the prom,
352
00:23:44,971 --> 00:23:47,350
it was great, and I'm still here.
353
00:23:50,899 --> 00:23:53,028
Have you ever wondered
what it would've been like
354
00:23:53,112 --> 00:23:54,573
if we'd stayed together?
355
00:23:54,657 --> 00:23:58,665
Yeah, sometimes. But what's the point
in looking back and saying "what if"?
356
00:23:59,249 --> 00:24:02,172
I know. I had a great marriage.
357
00:24:02,255 --> 00:24:03,842
Three wonderful kids.
358
00:24:03,925 --> 00:24:06,305
I had a failed marriage,
and she got the dog.
359
00:24:09,269 --> 00:24:10,814
But we're together now.
360
00:24:10,897 --> 00:24:12,860
Yes, we are, finally.
361
00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:25,134
Um, if you're answering a text,
you're kind of ruining the moment.
362
00:24:25,218 --> 00:24:27,597
Sorry. Just one sec. I got that. Okay.
363
00:24:31,814 --> 00:24:32,941
May I have this dance?
364
00:24:34,194 --> 00:24:35,655
I thought you'd never ask.
365
00:24:59,494 --> 00:25:01,248
One, two, three, four28602
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