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1
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,896
This award is such an honor;
Vet of the Year.
2
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:06,984
Thank you,
Bay Area Small Business Association.
3
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,068
Boring.
4
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:14,366
Next time, fall on your face
like Jennifer Lawrence at the Oscars.
5
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:18,954
Oh, no one's gonna hear
this acceptance speech, anyway.
6
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:21,582
That Dr. Jeffries wins every year.
7
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:24,668
He's always cuddling
baby hedgehogs on Instagram.
8
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:27,838
I can't compete with that.
9
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,508
Mom, I finished all my homework.
10
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:32,884
So, can I go?
11
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,887
Yes, you can. You can go.
Where are you going?
12
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:39,933
Our kids are going to
their first high-school party.
13
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:42,894
Party? Whose house is it?
14
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:45,230
Will there be parents? How many kids?
15
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,524
Will there be a theme?
16
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:52,279
What? I'm a party planner. I'm always
looking for new ideas to steal.
17
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:58,035
Guys, it's not even a party. It's a bunch
of ninth-graders playing Mario Kart.
18
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,412
Should I hook 'em up
to the lie detector, Mom?
19
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:06,376
I don't need a lie detector. I'm a mother.
20
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:11,089
Okay, home by ten,
cell phones on at all times,
21
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:12,758
and make good choices.
22
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:15,052
And if a theme breaks out, let me know.
23
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,430
- Bye.
- See you, guys. Bye.
24
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:20,140
Okay, thanks again. No kisses.
25
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,934
Oh, good job. Come in.
26
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:30,025
Hey. I'm so glad you guys are here.
27
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,569
Yeah, I was just practicing
my acceptance speech
28
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,946
for the BAASBA award
that I'm never gonna win.
29
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,659
Well, if you do win, don't thank me,
30
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:42,412
because with Jesse and I co-hosting
the award ceremony, it'll look rigged.
31
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,581
Which it's not.
32
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,125
Unless it is.
33
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:49,920
It is, isn't it?
34
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:52,631
I was never here.
35
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,050
I'm here. I'm here.
36
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,978
Hey, don't I recognize you
from our wedding?
37
00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:09,272
Ha ha ha ha ha. Very funny.
38
00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:11,149
Our schedules have been crazy.
39
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:14,152
With me working mornings
and Jesse at the Smash Club all night,
40
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:17,614
- we barely see each other.
- The only time I see her is in my dreams.
41
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:21,243
Although occasionally
she morphs into Abe Lincoln.
42
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:24,329
Sort of hot.
I've never been with a bearded lady.
43
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,791
All right, tick-tock. Here's Pamela.
44
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,671
Don't be late for the pick-up.
I have a four o'clock facial appointment.
45
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:35,298
These pores don't tighten themselves,
you know.
46
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:38,427
D.J., thank you for letting us host
Mommy and Me here.
47
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,887
- All right. Love you.
- Love you, too.
48
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,434
Easier kissing Abe Lincoln.
49
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,479
Fine, we're out of practice.
50
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,649
Oh, and FYI; those mommies,
51
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:56,319
they are snobs in yoga pants,
and they never let me lead the sing-along.
52
00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:02,117
Sing-along? Over my dead body.
53
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:12,419
Thank you. But, you know,
I've sang all over the world,
54
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:16,047
from ramen houses
to international pancake houses, but...
55
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,092
nothing compares
to singing to my little girl
56
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,344
right here in the good ol' US of A.
57
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,180
Aw!
58
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,516
Ladies, not only did we get
our first daddy at Mommy and Me,
59
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:31,688
- but we got the best one ever.
- Aw, I'm sure your baby daddies are great.
60
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:32,814
Are they here?
61
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,984
No, they are not. I am the best.
62
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:41,156
It's refreshing to see a father take
such a hands-on interest in his child.
63
00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:45,076
I'm cuckoo about this little munchkin,
and, you know, I feel it's important
64
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,537
for both parents to contribute equally,
you know?
65
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,081
Did you just drop in from Planet Perfect?
66
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,586
All right, who wants a cookie?
Cookie time.
67
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,589
Come on. All the kids come over here.
All the kids... hi, mothers.
68
00:04:57,672 --> 00:05:00,717
If you're interested,
a few of us moms do an after-party.
69
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:04,554
The kids get a little more playtime,
and we have adult time.
70
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,181
You know what I mean?
71
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,684
Oh, wine in a sippy cup, right?
72
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,604
Mommies, we got a keeper.
73
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,690
- I thought of that right off the...
- Ahem!
74
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:22,072
Uh, ma'am, we usually ask the nannies
to stay in the car.
75
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:29,162
No, no. This is Becky, my wife Becky.
See? Not in yoga pants.
76
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:33,416
Yep, that's me. Becky with the good pants.
77
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:37,629
Because I work.
78
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:42,843
Work? Oh, you poor thing.
I used to have to do that.
79
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:46,304
- You little...
- All right. Okay, okay.
80
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:50,058
- See? Snobs in yoga pants.
- Oh, come on.
81
00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,185
These mothers have been
warm and welcoming.
82
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,563
Oh, please. More like hot and bothered.
83
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,107
What? They've been very friendly,
84
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,401
and they wanted to see
how soft my hair was.
85
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:02,445
- I didn't let them touch it, did I, Pammy?
- Yes, you did.
86
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:09,578
Okay. Well, I think it is time to find
a new Mommy and Me class.
87
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,246
Come on, Pammy loves this class.
88
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,831
Apparently so does Daddy.
89
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:18,169
- Let's talk about this later.
- Talk? We're not gonna have time to talk.
90
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,922
The next time we see each other's
not gonna be until...
91
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,726
I was trying to be a good parent, okay?
92
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,478
You're the one trying to deny our kid
time with her...
93
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,194
Please. You just wanna go
because the mommies worship...
94
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:54,164
Oh, but so worth putting on Spanx for.
95
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,457
I agree.
96
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:05,550
- You're being ridiculous.
- Please. You're a pain in the...
97
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,649
More, more. Never stop.
98
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,570
I am so glad
that Steve is home with the flu.
99
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,740
I mean, I hope
he feels better soon, but...
100
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,035
Good luck, Manny.
101
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:36,122
Dr. Jeffries doesn't need luck.
He wins every year.
102
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:41,878
You never know when you have a vet
as strapping and talented as my Matthew.
103
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,340
I'm not sure they take strapping
into consideration.
104
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,886
Honey, it's San Francisco.
It's always a consideration.
105
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,434
PLEASE GET ME AT THE PARTY
AND BE DISCREET
106
00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,480
But I have an emergency,
and I have to leave.
107
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,607
Is it Ramona? Is she okay?
108
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:06,528
Shh. Everything is fine,
but I have to go discreetly.
109
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,450
I was being discreet!
110
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:19,749
- Thank God you are okay.
- I am.
111
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,502
Me too, Formando,
Formindo, Fernindo.
112
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,173
Jackson, it appears to me
you are drunk as a stunk.
113
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,510
Don't you mean skunk?
114
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:34,305
No, stunk. Eduardo Stunk
was our town drunk.
115
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,308
How did this happen?
116
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,562
Dad, we were just hanging,
playing video games,
117
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:43,857
and then every senior jock
showed up with beers and was chanting,
118
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,692
"Yo, grab a beer, Golden Toe."
119
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,235
Golden Toe!
120
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:52,032
I understand peer pressure
is very powerful,
121
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,743
but you have to be strong
and make good choices.
122
00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:59,039
To be clear,
this was weak and a bad choice.
123
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,499
D.J. is going to be so furious.
124
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:03,835
Oh. Please don't tell my mom.
125
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,087
I've learned my lesson, Formando.
126
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,217
You're putting me in a terrible position
and butchering my name.
127
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,387
Jackson. You're a good kid.
128
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:17,098
You're a Fuller.
You should know better than this.
129
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:21,436
Papa, didn't you always say
that it's better to call an adult
130
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,439
rather than getting into a car
with some drunk kid?
131
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:27,192
I hate it when you use
my own parenting against me.
132
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,408
And the winner of Vet of the Year is...
133
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:37,368
Here we go.
134
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:38,953
Dr. Matt Harmon.
135
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,205
Ooh.
136
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,873
- We did it!
- We won?
137
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,291
Hah! Suck it, Manny.
138
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,463
Not you, Deej. Your name's not on here.
139
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,007
Just "Dr. Matt Harmon
for Harmon Better Pet Care."
140
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,467
No D.J. Sit.
141
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:55,553
I can't believe I won.
142
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:00,308
I can't believe that Matt won.
143
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:03,186
His clinic was only open
for, like, three weeks.
144
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,188
I had a girlfriend longer than that.
145
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,150
Wait. What?
146
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,324
He didn't even thank you.
147
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,201
Oh, you guys are being ridiculous.
148
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:21,412
He didn't thank a lot of people.
I'm sure he just forgot.
149
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:23,790
He thanked his barista.
150
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:29,212
Yeah, I know that barista, too.
He wrote "Schpepanie" on my cup.
151
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:34,300
I saw him wipe his brow with a biscotti,
and he still got thanked.
152
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,055
- Little help here, please.
- Oh.
153
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,308
Got to lift your foot.
154
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,439
Wow. Kimmy, I think your foot is pregnant.
155
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:54,445
You know what? Maybe you took
the actual Schpepanie's drink.
156
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:58,116
First you defend Matt,
now you're defending the barista.
157
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,662
What do they have on you?
158
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,298
I'm gonna get a drink.
159
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,162
Matt is not a better vet than you.
160
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:47,373
I think there was a little payoff,
a little palm-schmearing.
161
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,376
Who'd schmear for a BAASBA?
162
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:54,464
Gia. She works in PR.
She knows how to schmear.
163
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,967
Plus, she interned in a bagel shop.
164
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:02,639
Oh, please. Nobody's schmearing anybody.
165
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,767
And I'm glad.
At least one of us won, you know?
166
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,101
It's good for the clinic.
167
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:11,356
It's not like I made space on the mantle
for my BAASBA.
168
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:17,111
What a surprise. You are home.
169
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,572
How was the emergency?
170
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,616
What emergency?
Everything is fine.
171
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:25,328
Why would you say otherwise?
172
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:29,874
Is he acting strange?
173
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,628
It's Fernando. Who can tell?
174
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:55,108
- Hello?
- Oh, hello.
175
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:57,694
Not Vet of the Year.
176
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,573
Good morning to you, too, Janet.
177
00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:06,995
Didn't see you behind Matt's trophy,
which seems to have grown overnight.
178
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:12,458
I always knew that Dr. Harmon
was more than just a pretty face.
179
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:17,922
Yeah, he certainly is. He's a great vet,
and he totally deserves that award.
180
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,216
You're so bitter.
181
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:26,973
I don't wanna call myself
a hero, but don't let that stop you.
182
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,104
Okay, Mrs. Baxter,
I'm ready to see Truffles.
183
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,315
I like my baby to see
the Vet of the Year.
184
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,109
I've got this.
185
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:41,946
Uh, but I have been seeing Truffles
since she was a puppy.
186
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:45,408
Oh, um, well, you know,
Truffles is older now and...
187
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:48,244
maybe she's more comfortable
with an award-winning vet.
188
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,790
I don't see your name on that banner.
189
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:58,880
Yeah. Well, Janet, be a love
and bring me Truffle's chart.
190
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,090
Anything for the Vet of the Year.
191
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:05,136
Dr. Fuller, be a dear
and answer the phones.
192
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:08,765
Hey, I am not answering the phone.
193
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:20,485
Harmon-Fuller Pet Care. Janet speaking.
194
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,822
No, the Vet of the Year is booked.
195
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,825
But you can see Dr. Fuller.
196
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:32,080
She's very good and easy on the peepers.
197
00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:36,084
Hello? Hello?
198
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,060
Did you know Truffles is a boy?
199
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,563
I was not expecting that.
200
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:00,983
Hey, where's my BAASBA?
201
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,487
It was blocking the phone, so I moved it.
202
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:08,324
Oh. Someone a little jealous?
203
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:14,372
What? Why would I be jealous
of Vet of the Schmear?
204
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,168
- What does that mean?
- You know what?
205
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:22,839
Maybe we were naive to think we could
jump back into business together.
206
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,425
Mm. Finally something that we agree on.
207
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:31,973
Here's your BAASBA.
208
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:34,559
You know where to put it.
209
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,691
Hello, mommies and me.
210
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:45,069
Well, I didn't get the... memo
on no yoga pants.
211
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,866
Ladies, our daddy's back,
and it's a good thing,
212
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:53,161
because I made you a moussaka.
213
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:56,706
Aw, thanks, Renee. That's so sweet.
Becky and I never have time to cook.
214
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,000
- That's so nice.
- Who's Becky?
215
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,085
Still my wife.
216
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,380
These are her pants.
217
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:09,969
Lucky pants.
218
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:12,972
- What'd you say?
- Nothing.
219
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:16,350
Okay, everybody,
let's get into our activity circle.
220
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,060
That means you, Zoe and Maya.
221
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,271
Come on, everybody, activity circle.
222
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,898
Okay. Today, we're going...
223
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:26,694
Today, we're gonna work on our right
and our left with the Hokey Pokey.
224
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,030
We love the Hokey Pokey, right?
Here we go.
225
00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:36,245
Ho, I think you're using
the wrong hand.
226
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:41,792
Oh, am I? I guess I don't know
my right from my wrong.
227
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:50,551
Ho ho. Whoa.
228
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,138
I was expecting more hokey and less pokey.
229
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,142
All right, ladies, playtime's over. Out.
230
00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,436
But... you heard the man, everybody out.
231
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,564
Whoa, whoa. I'm talking to you,
Fatal Attraction.
232
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:08,194
So does this mean
you don't want my moussaka?
233
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,864
The only moussaka I want is Becky's.
234
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,038
Mm-mmm.
235
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:25,002
Aah.
236
00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:29,131
Yeech, I hope you feel better
than you look.
237
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:32,677
Can you please stop spinning my bed?
238
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:38,307
I feel like I got off a Tilt-A-Whirl after
eating a churro dipped in clam sauce.
239
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:44,939
You were really out of control last night.
You ran around the party naked.
240
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,192
I did what?
241
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:50,486
Okay, you didn't.
242
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,741
But that was only because
I dragged you out of there.
243
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,660
What was I supposed to do?
244
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:01,289
You saw them. The whole football team
was chanting, "Chug, chug, chug."
245
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:04,041
And I was chanting, "No, no, no."
246
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:08,254
- I should've just walked away.
- Hey, don't beat yourself up.
247
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,923
Now I gotta lie to my mom.
248
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:17,138
If she finds out, she's gonna ground me,
like dig a hole and bury me under ground.
249
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,350
And I need the sun.
I have seasonal sadness.
250
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:28,065
I can't believe Matt.
You know, I can work with anyone.
251
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:30,985
I'm fair, I'm honest, I'm giving.
252
00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:36,407
And calm.
253
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,995
I just so misjudged his character.
254
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,873
I am dismayed, disturbed,
255
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,458
and dismayed.
256
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,795
Because I can't think of another word.
257
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,675
I am shocked by his behavior.
258
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:57,470
I thought I really knew him,
but I guess I don't.
259
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,639
I can't trust him ever again.
260
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:02,933
I'm sorry. It's just
everyone on the team was yelling,
261
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:04,977
"Chug, chug, chug, Golden Toe." So...
262
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:09,148
I chugged a beer.
Or two, which is a lot less than...
263
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:12,151
everyone else had.
264
00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,534
You drank beer?
265
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,245
No, no. He chugged.
Weren't you listening?
266
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,335
I can't believe you were drinking.
267
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,921
Uh, Fernando didn't tell you?
268
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,590
No, that's what meant.
269
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:37,927
Fernando knew?
270
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:42,139
Uh, yeah. He picked us up at the party.
271
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:45,643
He wanted to tell you,
but Jackson begged him not to.
272
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:48,145
Plus, my dad took really good care of him.
273
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:53,776
Oh, I am so disappointed in you, Jackson.
This is exactly what I thought
274
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:57,238
when you started hanging out with
those older football players.
275
00:19:57,321 --> 00:20:01,367
Mom, my head is pounding,
so, please, if you're gonna yell at me,
276
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:02,451
yell at me quietly.
277
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,206
- I'll deal with you later!
- Okay.
278
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,751
Fernando.
279
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:14,880
Fernando?
280
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,301
Fernando can leave a room discreetly.
281
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:26,809
Stop.
282
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:30,271
Oh, hello, D.J.
283
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,190
I was fleeing from your wrath.
284
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,153
I figured by the time
you finished berating Jackson,
285
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,612
I'd be across the bridge.
286
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,909
You knew about my son drinking
and didn't tell me?
287
00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:47,663
Yes, but I made him a vow not to tell.
288
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,623
But I'm Jackson's mother.
289
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:52,501
It is my right to know
so I can parent him my way.
290
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:55,796
Got to say, I agree.
291
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,675
But then Jackson would not trust me.
292
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,970
I want him to feel comfortable
so he can come to me in the future.
293
00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:04,930
He makes a good point, too.
294
00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:10,728
Oh, so in the future, Jackson can drink,
and you can keep it from me?
295
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:13,439
No. He can come to me for other things.
296
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:18,360
Not that there will be other things,
but there will be other things.
297
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:23,783
Teenage boys don't always
want to confide in their mothers.
298
00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:26,202
Good points all around.
299
00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:29,413
This would make a great talk show.
300
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,623
So keep talking.
301
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:37,129
If Jackson didn't confess,
I would've never known.
302
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,675
I was not trying to betray you, D.J.
I was just trying to help Jackson.
303
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:43,135
He's like my family.
304
00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:45,429
Jackson is my family.
305
00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:50,476
It's Matt. There's an emergency.
306
00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:54,980
Look, from now on,
just stay out of my parenting, okay?
307
00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:58,818
As you wish.
308
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:11,831
This is the after-party?
I don't see any mommies.
309
00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:16,043
Or mes. Or our daughter.
310
00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:19,630
She's with Stephanie.
Listen, Beck, full disclosure -
311
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:21,841
one of the moms hit on me
during the Hokey Pokey.
312
00:22:21,924 --> 00:22:23,425
Is nothing sacred?
313
00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:26,679
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
314
00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:28,389
Let me guess.
315
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:29,849
- Renee?
- Yes.
316
00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:36,063
You were right. I did sort of
really enjoy the mommy attention.
317
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:39,733
But if I'm being honest,
I'd rather have it from you.
318
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:41,861
Jess, I'm sorry.
319
00:22:42,903 --> 00:22:46,448
I think life has gotten so busy,
we forgot to make time for each other.
320
00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:49,577
- I miss you.
- I miss you, too.
321
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:52,788
I can't remember the last time
we sat down and talked.
322
00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:55,291
I know. We're taking our relationship
for granted,
323
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:58,127
but we've got to make time for each other.
And you know what?
324
00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:03,007
- Let's make a schedule right here and now.
- Okay, um, good idea.
325
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:04,842
- Friday night is date night.
- Yes.
326
00:23:04,925 --> 00:23:07,887
- And Sunday morning, breakfast in bed.
- Yes.
327
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:10,180
- Tuesdays, we can try those ballroom...
- No!
328
00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:15,352
I forgot how beautiful you are.
329
00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:24,278
Nothing? Nothing for me?
330
00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:27,448
I forgot how needy you are.
331
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:30,200
How could you forget that?
332
00:23:31,327 --> 00:23:36,206
If haven't told you lately, I think
you're the most handsome man in the world.
333
00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:40,419
Really? You're not just saying that
because I am handsome?
334
00:23:47,718 --> 00:23:49,929
Are you in the mood
for a little Hokey Pokey?
335
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,266
I could shake it all about, sure.
336
00:23:55,893 --> 00:23:58,771
Hey, uh... are those my yoga pants?
337
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,776
Don't question. Just enjoy.
338
00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:08,697
Didn't we talk about you
wearing my clothes outside of the house?
339
00:24:09,406 --> 00:24:11,116
You said nothing about yoga pants.
340
00:24:17,748 --> 00:24:21,001
Oh, Shelliot's listless.
His eyelids are swollen.
341
00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:26,006
He'll need a drip and a shot of "A."
342
00:24:27,216 --> 00:24:29,426
Would the Vet of the Year mind if I do it?
343
00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:31,679
Please. You are the reptile expert.
344
00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:33,429
Am I?
345
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:37,559
And cats, and dogs, and asses.
346
00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:40,854
Which I was.
347
00:24:42,773 --> 00:24:44,358
D.J., I am really sorry.
348
00:24:44,441 --> 00:24:48,737
That silly award
made me feel better about myself,
349
00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:52,491
but you are the amazing vet;
I always feel like I'm in your shadow.
350
00:24:52,574 --> 00:24:57,538
Matt, I wouldn't be partners with you
if I didn't think you are a great vet.
351
00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:01,333
And thank you for calling me
about Shelliot.
352
00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:05,129
Yeah, well, what matters
is that Shelliot is okay.
353
00:25:07,589 --> 00:25:10,009
Oh, my land animal.
354
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,180
What matters is that SheIliot's okay,
355
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:18,851
not who he confided in
or who picked him up from the party.
356
00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:21,020
I'm not following.
357
00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:25,441
Matt, this tortoise is a teenager now,
358
00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:29,028
and he has questions
and anxiety about girls
359
00:25:29,236 --> 00:25:33,615
and SATs and body hair
and... he needs all of our help.
360
00:25:34,074 --> 00:25:36,618
Wow, I still have a lot to learn
about tortoises.
361
00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:40,873
- You've got this, right?
- Yeah.
362
00:25:45,711 --> 00:25:47,379
Did you get any of that?
363
00:25:53,010 --> 00:25:55,095
D.J., I have left your house.
364
00:25:55,179 --> 00:25:59,224
You did not ask me to, but I felt it was
strictly an oversight on your part.
365
00:26:00,350 --> 00:26:04,438
Actually, I'm glad that you're here.
See, the turtle was fine
366
00:26:04,521 --> 00:26:08,025
because the right person
treated his hypovitaminosis.
367
00:26:08,776 --> 00:26:12,821
I do not understand your turtle metaphors,
but I assume you're apologizing?
368
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,284
Thank you for taking care of Jackson.
369
00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:21,997
Fernando, being the mother
of a high-schooler is...
370
00:26:23,123 --> 00:26:25,292
really hard and scary.
371
00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:28,796
But I am glad that Jackson has you.
372
00:26:29,630 --> 00:26:31,799
You know,
when he doesn't wanna talk to me.
373
00:26:32,633 --> 00:26:34,551
I know you'll always be there for him.
374
00:26:37,221 --> 00:26:40,015
Do not make me cry, D.J. Do not do it.
375
00:26:41,391 --> 00:26:45,729
I trust you,
and I'm sorry that I ever doubted you.
376
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:47,773
You're doing it.
377
00:26:49,233 --> 00:26:50,400
But I'm holding it in.
378
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:53,695
Aw, you're a good man, Fernando.
379
00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:56,615
And I love you like family.
380
00:26:56,698 --> 00:26:58,951
Oh, you did it.
381
00:27:00,327 --> 00:27:02,329
Here come the waterworks.
382
00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:05,165
Aw, now you're getting me started.
383
00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:11,004
Oh, dear.
384
00:27:13,674 --> 00:27:17,719
Max, if you're ever in trouble
and you don't wanna call me,
385
00:27:17,803 --> 00:27:20,514
just know that Fernando
will always be there for you.
386
00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:24,560
Uh, I can get my Zappos package later.
387
00:27:28,522 --> 00:27:31,150
Okay, so, in the future,
here's what you're gonna do.
388
00:27:31,233 --> 00:27:32,609
I'm gonna be in the future?
389
00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:36,613
Focus, Marty McFly.
390
00:27:39,032 --> 00:27:42,035
You wake up, you're hung over,
you're put on some sunglasses,
391
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,621
hightail it to Denny's
and get a pot of coffee.
392
00:27:44,705 --> 00:27:46,540
That'll cure the pounding headache?
393
00:27:46,623 --> 00:27:48,125
Well, it'll help, but mostly,
394
00:27:48,208 --> 00:27:50,669
you'll not be stuck at home
talking to your mom.
395
00:27:53,922 --> 00:27:54,923
Good luck, Jackson.
396
00:27:58,302 --> 00:27:59,386
Here it is, Jackson.
397
00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:03,557
Sit down. I can't discipline you
when you're taller than me.
398
00:28:09,938 --> 00:28:12,065
You're grounded for two weeks.
399
00:28:12,149 --> 00:28:16,069
And no cell phone, no Fortnite,
no devices, nothing.
400
00:28:17,613 --> 00:28:21,950
I trusted you, you betrayed my trust,
It's gonna take a while to earn it back.
401
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,662
Jackson, I'm not naive.
I was a teenager, too.
402
00:28:27,331 --> 00:28:28,707
Well, Stephanie was.
403
00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:35,631
I just have to ask.
404
00:28:36,673 --> 00:28:38,675
Why did you call Fernando and not me?
405
00:28:39,927 --> 00:28:40,928
Honestly...
406
00:28:42,179 --> 00:28:43,805
I didn't wanna disappoint you.
407
00:28:45,891 --> 00:28:47,309
Well, unfortunately you did.
408
00:28:48,518 --> 00:28:52,105
Look, I know that there are gonna be
certain guy issues
409
00:28:52,189 --> 00:28:55,317
you're not gonna feel comfortable
talking to me about, but
410
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:59,196
that doesn't excuse the fact
that you made a very poor choice.
411
00:29:00,030 --> 00:29:01,490
I know, Mom, I know.
412
00:29:01,949 --> 00:29:04,409
You cannot be drinking at your age.
413
00:29:04,701 --> 00:29:07,704
It's illegal, and it's dangerous.
414
00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:12,918
I know it's gonna be hard for you
because your friends will be doing it,
415
00:29:13,001 --> 00:29:15,379
but I expect you to be stronger than that.
416
00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:18,799
And I'm telling you these things
because I love you.
417
00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:22,219
Okay?
And I want you to live a very long life.
418
00:29:23,804 --> 00:29:25,430
I love you, too, Mom.
419
00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:33,313
Hey, uh, I know I'm grounded,
but can we go to Denny's?
420
00:29:42,406 --> 00:29:43,532
Denny's? Why?
421
00:29:43,615 --> 00:29:46,576
Oh, well, Stephanie said it was
the best hangover cure.
422
00:29:49,037 --> 00:29:50,038
Did she now?
423
00:29:55,043 --> 00:29:56,044
Schpepanie?
424
00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:01,174
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