Original subtitles

Pipe down, Thunder.

Did you ever see a catfish riding on a yellow jackass before?

Not that I can remember.

No touch.

Him Golden Ass of Apuleius. Him very mean.

No touch.

Excuse, please.

Excuse, please.

Hello.

Who's that, anyway?

I don't know. Looked like a Jap to me.

He's Chinese.

-How do you know? -Because I ain't stupid.

Well, whoever he is, he sure come to the wrong town.

Hello.

You miserable piece of junk! I ought to--

Excuse, please. Excuse.

Excuse.

Who're you?

Name Lao.

Doctor Lao.

Ain't nobody sick here, unless you know how to remedy this machine.

Do printing here?

No. We sell ladies' underwear.

What's the matter with you, big wise guy?

All the time make jokes. Make fun of old Chinese fellow.

Take it easy. It's too late in the afternoon for tantrums.

Who you? Who you?

You boss?

No. Boss, he over there.

Busy?

Well, you might say.

Okay. I wait.

Hi, Tim.

Ed.

-What can I for you, Mr. Stark? -Nothing.

Not a thing. Just passing by. Thought I'd drop in to say hello.

Of course, if you have some business to do.

That's okay. I wait. I wait.

I read your editorial this morning. That was a fine piece of writing.

Real fine. You certainly know how to put words together.

I'll just bet you liked it.

Of course I liked it.

I always like it when a man speaks his mind.

That part where you told all the people not to sell out.

Boy, that was brave.

And where you talked about fear. Now, what was that again?

Here, you read it.

''The prices paid by Mr. Clint Stark

for real estates and labor

are so patently unfair as to be ludi-cross.''

Ludicrous!

Down about three paragraphs.

Three what?

''All dictators past and present have thrived in a climate of fear.

Without fear, they perish.

People are afraid of Clint Stark

and so long as this situation exists

he will continue to rule Abalone.''

That's great stuff.

Then I take it you agree with me.

Of course I agree with you.

But the thing is, the people are afraid of me

because I own them lock, stock and barrel.

-They sold out a long time ago. -Then what are you so worried about?

You.

I'm worried about you.

See, you're a smart boy

and I just hate to see you wasting your time. Now, don't get me wrong.

I appreciate a fighter.

I especially appreciate a fighter who has the odds against him.

But there aren't any odds here. And there isn't any fight.

Maybe I can stir one up.

Not a chance.

You'll just make the people feel bad.

Believe me, this town isn't worth the trouble.

Then why are you so interested in buying every square inch of it?

Because I'm a philanthropist, boy. I like to help people.

Now let me ask you one.

What's your stake in this?

How come you're so concerned about Abalone?

-Abalone is my home. -That won't wash.

A year ago you hadn't heard of the place.

You're a city boy, Ed.

You have some other reason.

Well, now, Mr. Stark, I guess I just can't keep any secrets from you.

The real reason is, ''I'm a philanthropist, boy.''

You wanna know something? I think you are.

I really think you are.

Good luck, Ed.

You're on the wrong side, but I like your style.

I wish I could return the compliment.

Let's go.

What can we do for you, mister?

Very small matter.

I like to run advertisement.

Excuse.

In newspaper.

Something wrong? You sick maybe?

It's just it's kind of a shock. We don't get much new business here.

How much?

Well, that depends. You want a full column or a--

Big, big, big!

Full page. Run two days.

Start right away, chop-chop.

A full page for two days?

How about

$50?

Good, good, good.

American money?

Yes, we'd prefer it if you don't mind.

No, no. Don't mind.

Fifty dollars.

You fix?

I fix.

Mr?

Lao.

Doctor Lao.

What part of China are you from?

Last residence Panohai.

Pee-a-en-oh-ha-a-ai.

Panohai.

Hello. Goodbye.

Thank you. Thank you.

What in Tom thunder?

You gonna print that stuff?

Why not? He paid for it, didn't he?

Besides, I smell a story.

Howdy! Have you got anything to read--?

I'm sorry, Mrs. Benedict. I said, ''Have you got anything--?''

-I heard you. -Where?

The section on manners is right over there.

I've read those. I'm looking for something on China.

When do you leave?

As soon as you marry me. I thought it'd be a nice place to honeymoon.

Edward Cunningham! lf you--

Seriously, I want to check on a city called Panohai.

Section on Asia, third shelf from the top.

-You wouldn't want to help me? -You can find it.

It�s called The History of China by D. Boulger.

Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?

lt should be clear by now that I do not

wish to go out with you, Mr. Cunningham. Ever.

Why not?

All those stories about me, they're lies!

I�m not a bank robber or a cattle rustler.

And I�ve never kicked a woman in the stomach even once. Really!

It�s quite impossible.

I�ve a little boy and a mother-in-law to take care of.

And you've only been in town a short while. I don't even know you.

-So please, stop asking. -Never.

lt isn't Mike or your mother-in-law. It�s because you're afraid.

-Of you? -Of falling in love.

Of being a woman.

That's what you are, Angela, underneath all those widow's weeds.

Isn't that right, Luther?

You got any more of that pie, Gram?

-Certainly. -He can get it himself.

All right.

Thank you.

Ed likes apple pie too. When are we gonna invite him over?

Don't be disrespectful. His name is Mr. Cunningham.

Come on, Mom. He said I could call him Ed.

And I say you can't.

Now you get the pie and go finish your homework.

All right.

Don't bother with the dishes. I�ll do them when I get back.

All right.

-Good night, Mom. -Good night, Michael.

Good night, Grandma.

Good night, Mike.

You're being a little hard on him.

It�s not easy for a boy to grow up without his father.

I know.

You could change that, Angela.

Did you hear me?

Yes.

He is such a fine man.

Who is?

Ed Cunningham.

Oh, Sarah, I do wish you'd stop going on about that drifter.

He is not a drifter!

He's been here almost a year.

Whatever else you may think of him

you have to admit he is the only man in town with spirit enough

to stand up to that devil, Stark!

Well, it takes more than spirit to make a fine man.

I loved your son, and no other man will ever take his place.

No, Sarah.

We'll manage, just you and l.

After all, Mike has two mothers

and that makes up for quite a lot.

I won't be late.

Good night, dear.

I don't think Cunningham's going to show up.

Why not?

He doesn't want to lose.

Who does?

I do.

Mayor, every time I bet on weakness, corruption and fallibility

I want to lose.

But I always win.

Hey, boss.

Meeting will come to order. Now, folks, may I have your attention?

Now a few words from someone who don't need any introduction.

The man who's done more for Abalone than any other man

Mr. Clinton Stark.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen

fellow citizens of Abalone.

I know you're all tired of waiting, so I�ll cut the fancy talk

and come right to the point.

Abalone is dying of thirst.

Now, you all know we get our water

from a point 16 miles from here through an underground pipe.

That pipe is worn out. It�s crumbling.

According to the top engineers of this state, it has

maybe another six months left.

Then it's finished.

So looking at it realistically

it seems you all have two choices:

Either you repair the pipe, or you let it rot.

Now, if you repair the pipe

it'll cost you $237,000!

And what do you get for your money?

I�ll tell you that too.

Nothing. Because that's what Abalone is. Nothing.

Zero.

Is that what you want?

To spend the rest of your lives here

as bored as you've always been?

Of course not.

But you don't want to die of thirst either.

Now, you can't afford to leave your homes, lose your possessions.

Folks, I have an alternate choice for you.

Sell.

Sell what you've got and move away.

Leave Abalone

to the buzzards.

Folks, I�ll buy this town from you.

Every house.

Every building. Every single nail.

And pay you a fair price to boot.

So you don't have to go head over heels into debt

to raise $237,000.

You don't have to lose everything you've got.

That makes sense!

Well, I think we all agree

that Mr. Stark has been more than generous with us.

I suggest, therefore, that we take a vote--

Just a minute!

I�d like to say a few words if Mr. Stark doesn't mind.

Not in the least, Mr. Cunningham.

After all, this is a free country.

It�s good someone remembers that.

You know, folks, I haven't been here long.

But it's home to me.

And I believe in fighting for your home when it's threatened.

Now, Mr. Stark wants us to sell our home.

Because it's gonna be an effort to keep it.

Even if we make the effort, he says that Abalone is nothing. It�s zero.

I say he's wrong.

I say any place where people live and work together

is something.

Something very important.

Now, one more thing.

Just outside of our town, there's another

with even less of Mr. Stark's kind of future.

There's one of its citizens. Stand up, please, George.

This is George G. George.

He's a Navajo Indian. Most of you know him.

His forefathers were here before the white man even heard of America.

What will happen to his family, his friends

without our town to help him?

I�d like to say something.

All right, Mrs. Benedict.

lf Abalone is as worthless as Mr. Stark says

why is he so anxious to buy it?

That's a fair question. I�m glad you asked it.

Mrs. Benedict, you're a teacher, a librarian.

And as such, you can take a dull boy and make him into a smart boy.

ln a manner of speaking, you can turn a profit.

It�s the same with me.

I�m a businessman, and as such

I feel I can do this, well, without taking a loss.

-It�s as simple as that. -But just exactly--?

You should be ashamed of yourself for doubting Mr. Stark's integrity.

Mr. Stark, when do we have to give our answer?

Well

frankly

I�d hoped to settle this this evening.

But if you want some time to think it over

well, let's say within a couple of days.

Thank you.

Thank you very much, Mr. Stark.

We owe you a vote of gratitude for being so fair with us.

Don't you agree, folks?

Meeting adjourned until 9:30 Friday night.

Oh, George.

We didn't accomplish very much

but thanks for coming down.

Not a chance, Ed.

They're sentimental, but that doesn't make them stronger.

That's what you want to think.

You'll find this hard to believe

but I was like you once, a long time ago.

I believed in the dignity of man.

Decency. Humanity.

But I was lucky.

I found out the truth early, boy.

And what is the truth, Stark?

It�s all very simple.

There is no such thing as the dignity of man.

Man is a base, pathetic, vulgar animal.

Good night, Ed.

Halt, you miserable redskin!

You're keeping the wrong kind of company, boy.

Ain't good to be seen with a man like Cunningham.

Bad medicine. Savvy?

Cat got your tongue?

I believe that's what's happened. Cat got his tongue.

Who told you you could go?

He's a sassy one, ain't he?

You know what my old man used to say?

He said the only good Injun's a dead Injun.

What do you think of that, boy?

Talk, you miserable redskin!

Talk!

Talk!

Excuse, please.

This town ain't big enough for you and me, partner.

Smile when you say that, you miserable horny-toad hombre.

What happened?

Read all about it!

Circus coming to town!

Read all about it! Read all about it!

Circus coming to town!

-Good morning, Mr. Ramsey. -Why don't you aim, boy?

I do, Mr. Ramsey! I do!

Hey, Bunny, look it here!

I can't come out like this.

Says here a circus is coming to town.

To Abalone?

That's what it says.

I can't believe it. Hasn't ever been a circus here.

Read all about it! Read all about it! Circus coming to town!

That darn kid. He threw the paper under the car.

Mr. Frisco, good morning.

Good morning, Mrs. Cassin.

And how is our esteemed mayor this morning?

Oh, fine, thank you. Just fine!

Read all about it! Circus coming to town!

That young hoodlum!

It�s just the Daily Star, dear.

Don't mess me up, stupid. Go get the paper.

Yes, dear.

Somebody ought to arrest that rapscallion!

He's just like that no-good Cunningham. A troublemaker!

Give it here.

And sit down. You give me the jitters.

I�m sorry, dear. I don't mean to give you the yitters.

Say ''jitters.''

What in the world is a Medusa?

A Medusa, dear heart, is a.

Well, it's a mythological creature

with snakes on her head

instead of hair.

And

if you look at her face

you turn to stone.

Shut up, Luther! And don't be ridiculous!

Yes, dear.

Wait! I wanna talk to you!

Edward Cunningham, Esquire.

Editor in chief of the Abalone Daily Star. How do you do?

Who's talking? Where are you?

Here.

There.

Everywhere.

Are you going to write about me in your newspaper?

lf you give me something worth writing about.

As a rule, Dr. Lao does not approve of our speaking for publication.

But I see no harm in telling you

that I was born in the year 1 204.

Or is it 41 2?

I can't seem to remember.

But at any rate

I am the greatest magician the world has ever known.

It�s funny. I�ve never heard of you.

But you have heard of me. Indeed.

The name is Merlin.

-Merlin? -Merlin.

The magician from His Majesty

-King Arthur's court. -Of course!

And that big ape I saw hammering the stakes, he was from the Himalayas?

Precisely. Abominable, isn't he?

About this Dr. Lao

where's he from?

China. But you needn't bother about him.

No talent there.

Strictly an executive type.

Pray, do not quote me.

I wouldn't dream of it.

But tell me, what does he do?

Oh, dear. I�m frightfully sorry.

I�ve said much too much already.

Oh, but do, do let me show you some small sample of my craft.

May I have the notebook which is in your pocket?

Now tell me, Mr. Edward Cunningham

what you most desire.

Oh, no. That's terribly stupid of me.

Mortals have but one basic desire.

Now hold this in your hand.

Now close your eyes

and say the magic word.

-What is the magic word? -''Money,'' of course. Say it.

Money.

Open your eyes.

It worked!

It worked!

A small sum, of course. But then, I tire easily.

-Magic is extremely exhausting. -No, thank you.

-Beg your pardon? -No, thanks.

I came here for a story, not a bribe.

Merlin! Merlin!

Oh, dear. Oh, dear!

Now I really am in trouble.

Welcome to the Circus of Dr. Lao.

How may we serve you?

By giving this money back to the old boy--

What money, Mr. Cunningham?

Come on, doc. What kind of Oriental hocus-pocus is going on around here?

A circus with no wagons, no animals, no cages

a crazy old magician? What's it all about?

Our circus is different. That's what I promised.

I�m not interested in promises. I�m interested in the real story.

And don't tell me about Panohai. I looked it up.

Panohai went out of existence thousands of years ago.

Forgive me, but you worry too much.

You worry about how I brought my circus to Abalone without wagons.

You worry about the future of your town

or if the sun will rise a year from today.

The answers to such matters remain posed behind a curtain.

Then time says, ''Presto!'' And out they come.

Tomorrow night I promise you ''presto.''

The strangest story you've ever known.

Now, Mr. Cunningham

do you suppose this garrulous intruder may be

a swindler perhaps? An assassin?

A charlatan plotting some curious disaster for your town?

Such characters exist, but they are secretive rather than mysterious.

l, sir, am a major mystery.

You're a convincing talker about very unconvincing things.

Whatever men do not understand, they find unconvincing.

But please don't suppose I�m dangerous, because I�m unfamiliar.

I ask

that you believe in me.

As what?

As a friend of yours, of your town

of all human beings.

That's quite a spiel.

Thank you.

Well, I�m leaving in a cloud of befuddlement.

And with nothing to go on except a hunch

that you're a nice guy.

Good afternoon, Mr. Cunningham.

Hey! How come you speak perfect English all of a sudden?

Oh, it comes and goes. Whatever dialect the mood requires.

Comes and goes?

What's the matter? Always asking questions.

Wise guy! Get on your motorcycle!

Hey, mister, how'd you do that?

So sorry. Don't speak English.

You do too. Ed said so.

And I know who you are. You're Dr. Lao.

Astute observation.

Goom-bye.

I�ll carry your posters. Even help you put them up!

-lf you'll show me how. -What name?

-Mike Benedict, sir. -Okay, Mike. You come.

-Are you an acrobat? -Only philosophically.

-What? -Only philosophically!

Really? Can you walk a tightrope?

lf required.

My specialty, however, is wisdom. Do you know what wisdom is?

No, sir.

Wise answer.

I can walk on my hands. Wanna see?

Not now, please.

How do you do that?

You come circus.

Bring Mama and Papa also. All my guests.

You mean free?

Gosh! Thanks!

But I can't bring my father, because he's dead.

Oh, that's very sad, Mike.

But I never knew him.

He got killed when I was little. I�m the man of the house.

You're a very fine young man.

I�m not so young.

I�m 8 going on 9.

Eight going on 9 is young, believe me.

Eight going on 9 is remarkably young.

How old are you?

I believe I shall tell you.

I am seven thousand

three hundred and twenty-two years old

this October.

That is old!

It is, rather.

lf you ask me, that's quite a stunt!

I guess he's got a gramophone hid somewheres.

That's it. lt must be.

This is the Circus of Dr. Lao

We show you things That you don't know

We've spared no pains And we've spared no dough

For we wanted to give you One hell of a show!

And youth may come And age may go

But no more circuses Like this show

Fifteen cents.

You free.

Step up! Step up! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

Thank you, sir.

Isn't it exciting?

I haven't been to a circus in, well.

In a long time! I hope they have a fortuneteller.

Not that I believe in them, of course. But they are fascinating.

Go in and wait about 45 minutes.

Thank you, boss.

See Apollonius!

See the Snowman!

Hurry! Hurry!

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

See the Medusa turns men of granite to stone!

And see the Great Serpent. See him rise, see him coil, hear him hiss!

See wonders never before beheld by the eyes of mortal man.

See the Great Pan, the incarnation of the carnal!

See Apollonius of Tyana. He sees all, tells all!

Nothing but the truth.

It's the chance of a lifetime. The dark mysteries unfolded.

Step right up! Only 1 5 cents!

Now please keep in line. Step right up! Fifteen cents.

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

You frightened me.

You wish your future told?

You look like Howard

my poor, dear departed husband.

You know he did not die.

He simply walked out of your life

years ago.

Yes. Well, you know everything, don't you?

lf you know my past so well, let's see if you can really tell my future.

Be seated.

Five cents, please.

Shall I ask questions?

If you wish.

This is so exciting.

Let me see now.

I know.

How soon will I strike oil on that 20 acres of mine?

-Never. -But I paid a fortune for that land.

You wasted your money.

Next question.

I can't hear you.

You must listen.

You needn't be so brusque.

It's just a game, after all.

All right, you naughty man.

You see, what I really want to know is

when shall I be married again?

Never.

Well, what sort of man will come into my life?

Let's put it that way.

There will be no more men in your life.

Really! Really!

What's the use of my living if I�m not going to be rich

no more men, for heaven's sake?

I only read futures.

-I don't evaluate them. -That's utter nonsense!

The future is always nonsense

until it becomes the past.

Well, go on. Do your job. I paid you.

Read my future!

Tomorrow will be like today

and the day after tomorrow will be like the day before yesterday.

I see your remaining days

as a tedious collection of hours

full of useless vanities.

You will think no new thoughts

and you will forget what little you have known.

Older you will become, but not wiser.

Stiffer, but not more dignified.

Childless you are

and childless you will remain.

Of that suppleness you once commanded in your youth

of that strange simplicity which once attracted men to you

neither endures

nor shall you recapture them.

You're a mean, ugly man!

Mirrors are often ugly

and mean.

When you die

you will be buried and forgotten.

And that is all.

And for all the good or evil

creation or destruction your living might have accomplished

you might just as well never have lived at all.

I am sorry, but you see, it is my curse to tell the absolute truth.

Oh, Mrs. Cassin.

Angela, whatever you do, stay out of there.

Why? Isn't he any good?

Oh, no. He's wonderful!

Absolutely the most magnetic man I�ve ever met in my whole life

next to Howard, God bless his soul.

Do you know what he told me?

That I�m going to be rich, strike oil. And promise you won't tell.

I�m going to be married again.

And Clinton Stark is the lucky one.

That's very nice, but why shouldn't I go in?

Well, he's not very polite.

He pinched me three times.

But I suppose you haven't anything to worry about, come to think of it.

Toodle-loo.

Estimable educator.

Mother of fatherless Mike, good friend.

Lose something?

Yes. My mother-in-law.

She over there, I think.

Have plenty fun. You too?

Well, it's very nice, thank you.

Good, good, good.

Exhibit around corner.

Step in. Step in.

Step this way, if you please.

The most charming figure

in the old Greek polytheistic mythology

is Pan, the God of Joy

combining the forms of man

and goat.

It's a fake.

It's gotta be.

Hi, there.

Why, don't be frightened, kiddo. I�m harmless.

Dr. Lao saw to that.

Come here.

Do I look familiar to you?

Now that you mention it, you do.

This circus is like a mirror.

You see yourself in it sometimes.

Sometimes someone else.

Didn't Dr. Lao tell you about it?

He will, Mr. Stark.

How do you know my name?

I know a lot of unimportant stuff like that.

Well, whoever you are and however you work

you interest me.

You know why?

Because we look alike and have much in common.

For one thing

our suspicion.

-Why do you buzz your tail like that? -Why not?

It's the most treasured gift of my ancestors.

-I wouldn't care to trade with you. -Maybe not.

But the point is, my scaly friend

that you are in a cage while I�m free to walk about.

Oh, you have your cage too.

You test your bars just as often as I test mine, kiddo.

Why do you wear those things over your eyes?

So I can see.

I have an astigmatism.

They're glasses.

The creator who made you cunning

made my eyes efficient enough to perceive objects

without aid.

In fact, the Lord of All Living dealt with me quite generously.

Strength He gave me and symmetry and endurance

and patience.

But look at you.

You even have to hang rags on yourself to protect your weak skin.

You have to hang things in front of your eyes in order to see.

Look at yourself!

I�ll admit I�m not perfect, but--

You can say that again, kiddo!

You're just about the most imperfect creature I�ve ever seen!

And I�ve seen some lulus!

To tell you the truth

even the thought that I resemble you makes me ill.

Well, it doesn't make me too happy either.

Hey, boss

we've been looking all over for you.

You don't have to worry about no newspaper no more.

Who was you talking to?

-No one. -Well, I thought I heard--

-That's an ugly devil! -Let's scat. Let's scat!

You wouldn't say that if I were on the other side of these bars.

Let's get out!

Mr. Stark!

�Monsieurs et Mesdames�, it give me great pleasure to present to you

direct from a long and successful run at the court of King Arthur

that inimitable dramaturge

that master of magic, sorcery, wizardry and prestidigitation

the crown prince of the black arts

Merlin the Magician!

Go on!

On with the show!

Oh, dear, I�m terribly sorry.

What sort of magic would you like to see?

What kind have you got?

Oh, all sorts, really.

Though I am a bit out of practice.

Well, let's see now.

What have we here?

Oh, we have a ball, haven't we?

Just an ordinary ball, isn't it? I suppose so.

Oh, dear, now we have two!

Make a rabbit come out of the bag.

Oh, very well. I�ll try it.

Hocus

Pocus.

I wanted a rabbit!

Oh, I�m sorry.

I did my very best.

Disappear.

Can you do magic with cards, Mr. Merlin?

For you, sir, I will.

One

two

three.

I don't like that.

Faker!

Phony!

Why don't you change the water into booze?

Very well.

Hocus-pocus.

Come and take it.

Would you care for some, young lady?

I never drink.

Neither does he.

Let me try some of that stuff.

Tastes just like ginger ale.

I beg your pardon, sir.

This is the finest vintage champagne ever served in America.

Come on, do something!

Don't just stand there!

Show us some real magic!

Mother, have him do something I like.

Do you like flowers, little lady?

A little.

The last one is for you, my dear.

Now come on. Do something really big!

Yeah! Make a woman float in the air

like I seen once in Tucson!

She was beautiful.

Mother, I�m tired of this.

Be still. This gentleman is trying to do tricks.

Tricks!

Gadzooks, madame. These are not tricks.

I do magic. I create.

Il transpose. I transubstantiate.

I break up. I recombine.

But I never trick.

You stink!

It�s just done with mirrors!

-Fake! -Phony!

You're wrong!

I�m a great magician!

I have just created something from nothing. Isn't it enough?

Anybody can make a bunch of flowers.

Very well. Flowers aren't enough?

Perhaps you'd like a few man-eating tigers!

Fat chance.

How about a pink elephant?

Wag.

Willow.

Wick!

Bugs! Let's go!

You can't throw the lady in the air?

Come on!

Wick. Wag. Wiggle!

Wee. Wire!

Oh, how does that go?

I�ve forgotten.

I�ve forgotten

so many things.

So long, girls.

It's all right, Mr. Merlin.

They don't understand, but I do.

I think you're the greatest magician ever.

-I believe in you. Really. -You do?

Thank you, my boy.

Hey, doc.

What's this supposed to be?

Him my pet!

Him pet!

A catfish for a pet?

My man, you are gazing upon the legendary terror of the seven seas.

A genuine, bona fide sea serpent.

What's the matter with you crazy people? All the time ''ha-ha''!

Please! Please! You make sea serpent very mad!

If I was to catch a itty-bitty thing like that, I�d throw it back!

I fear you do not understand, laddie.

There are certain lakes in Switzerland

certain lochs in Scotland

which are called the eyes of the sea.

They are so called because these lakes and lochs are bottomless.

Aye. They extend far beneath the surface of the land

and lead to the great and mysterious oceans

of which they are a part.

Not unlike salmon, sea monsters, as they're referred to

come to the lochs to breed.

I caught this one as a wee baby myself.

It was a wee, sleeked, cowering, timorous beastie!

That's a lot of hogwash.

Just what do you take us for?

Those lads who are fishermen

are doubtless familiar with the species maculatus spheroides

otherwise known as the blowfish.

The blowfish is a small creature inhabiting the depths of the sea.

Take him from those depths, where the pressure is extreme

or into the air, where there's little pressure

and what happens?

His eyes bulge, then

he puffs himself up many times his natural size.

Hence the name blowfish.

So it is with the sea serpent. In the water

he is small, insignificant, petite.

But out of the water and exposed to the air

and he doubles his size every 10 seconds

until he reaches his full growth, and no man knows how big that is.

You see what happened? He pulled his head out of the water

it has grown huge, and men on passing ships

have sworn they have seen a gigantic monster.

Which explains the legends of lurking sea serpents.

There ain't no pressure in that bowl. Just a little water.

Show us a demonstration.

Oh, so sorry. No can do.

Look, this monster's fondest ambition eat up Dr. Lao!

Cannot understand why. Very bad thing.

Honorable servant probably taste like leftover turkey!

Don't touch it.

-We just wanna take a look! -Watch who you're pushing!

Carey!

Come on.

Step up. Step up. Step up.

Good citizens of Abalone, you are about to see

the Medusa.

The Medusa is a third cousin

of the original Gorgon sisters

who disturbed the land of Greece in the time before Ulysses

Agamemnon, Achilles

et cetera, et cetera

and, of course, et cetera.

And like her Gorgon sisters

she has the power to turn those who dare to look straight into her eyes

into stone.

To spare you good people from being converted

into monuments, obelisks and so forth

I have rather ingeniously, I think

made it possible for you to see the Medusa

only in a mirror.

Thus seen, she is

harmless.

I entreat you, please be content with the reflected image.

Do not go peeking around the edges of the canvas.

It is a move which might produce most unpleasant results.

She is a genuine Medusa

over 3000 years old.

She don't look a day over 500 to me, doc.

It's a disgrace!

Now, Kate, please.

I just wanna say one thing.

Where is he?

-Where is that old faker? -Yes, madam?

I wanna say one thing

that I never listened to such lies in all my born days.

Snakes turning people to stone! The idea!

Please. Don't make trouble in front of all these people.

Shut up! I�ll say what I darn well please.

My dear lady

the role of skeptic becomes you not.

There are things in the world not even the experience

of a lifetime spent in Abalone could conceive of.

Is that so? I�m gonna make a liar out of you in front of everybody.

Get out of my way!

I�ll show her!

All right, cheap little hussy, you don't--

It's all right. Pete, help me.

Arthritis attack. She's had them before.

Hey, Luther. Did you buy yourself a statue?

This ain't no statue. It's my Kate.

Stoned again?

She looks better that way.

-Call a doctor. -This is the worst attack she's had.

Hocus

pocus dominocus.

Chay, Chay

Chay.

Luther.

Let's go home.

Giddap. Come on, giddap.

You see

I told you.

I told you I was a good magician. Did you see?

Everybody go home. Circus over.

Oh, dear. Oh--

Come back tomorrow. Big finale!

Goom-bye. Come back tomorrow.

Big show.

Scram. Goom-bye. Goom-bye. Phew!

Now eat your food, Mr. Cricket. Eat it.

You're making me angry at you. You're a bad cricket.

Don't speak back to me. I�m very disappointed in you.

What's the matter you? You crazy boy.

You want mother and grandmother to worry?

They're asleep. I snuck back out.

Dr. Lao, I wanna have a talk with you seriously.

No. No time. Very upset.

On account of Mrs. Lindquist turning to stone?

No. On account of cricket.

Okay. You have problem?

I need a full-time job, and I was just wondering

if maybe you could use me with the circus?

But I like your circus.

And I�ve always wanted to

be in the circus. I�d work hard, and I wouldn't be any trouble.

And I can do a lot of tricks. Look.

How you do that?

Oh, that's very good. Very good.

But, Mike, we have a magician.

Confidentially, you much better.

But that make the Great Merlin very sad. You understand?

I understand. You can't use me.

Mike, let me tell you something.

The whole world is a circus if you know how to look at it.

The way the sun sets when you're tired and comes up when you're on the move

that's real magic.

The way a leaf grows. The song of the birds.

The way the desert looks at night with the moon embracing it.

Oh, my boy, that's circus enough for anyone.

Every time you watch a rainbow and feel wonder in your heart.

Every time you pick up a handful of dust

and see not the dust

but a mystery, a marvel, there in your hand.

Every time you stop and think:

''I�m alive, and being alive is fantastic.''

Every time such a thing happens

you're part of the Circus of Doctor Lao.

I don't understand.

Neither do I.

Well, I always say:

''If you're gonna do something, do it right.''

You look surprised.

I am. I didn't think Stark was this worried about us.

Well, he ain't worried no more.

What are you aiming to do?

Get drunk!

Angela!

Is that you?

Yes, Mother.

What is the matter?

Nothing, nothing.

Just that infernal music. It makes me nervous.

What music?

Never mind, Mother.

You're perspiring.

Am I?

Are you sure there's nothing wrong?

Yes, Mother, very sure.

Go back to bed. I think I�ll get a glass of cold water.

All right.

Do you suppose that crazy little Chinaman had something to do with this?

Who else?

How?

We'll figure that out later. Right now let's get to work!

What's your problem, cousin?

Where's Stark?

How are you, Ed?

Couldn't be better.

Glad to hear it. What can I do for you, boy?

Not a thing. I thought you might wonder about your paper.

Well, I did miss it.

No problems, I hope.

Just one.

The presses broke down.

Oh, I�m sorry to hear that.

It's all right.

They're fixed now.

A short tissue this time, but you'll understand. Won't you, Mr. Stark?

Let's see. You're not a subscriber, are you?

You ought to think about it.

How're you gonna know what's happening in town without the Star?

Here's a complimentary issue. For you too.

-So long. -Ed.

You really think you have a chance?

Well, I was beginning to wonder.

Then something happened that cheered me up.

You read about it on page one.

Boss, it couldn't be.

It really couldn't be! We ruined it.

Shut up!

It ain't possible, is it?

I hate to tell you this.

There aren't any fish in that river. In fact, there isn't any river.

That's okay. Me no use bait.

Oh, I see.

I want to thank you for what you did.

I don't suppose you'd tell me why or how?

What's the matter? All the time, talk! Scare away fishie!

-Wise guy. -Hey, Ed.

Ed, come here!

Ramsey and some of them other fellows had a get-together

in the caf�.

-Well? -They're gonna sell out to Stark.

-You sure? -Vote's tonight. It don't look good.

They're scared.

Stark was right. I was crazy fighting for--

Mr. Cunningham. Please.

You come to circus tonight. May be big surprise.

I got you.

Oh, fishie!

Oh, look what Dr. Lao has! Trout!

Did you see that?

Yeah. Come on. Come on.

Ed.

It's a trout.

Big, big trout.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen!

Welcome to the final showing of the Circus of Dr. Lao.

Tonight we present to you what they call in the language of France

the piece de resistance.

In the words of Philosopher Mencius, ''You ain't seen nothing yet!''

You can say that again, doc!

I�m sorry.

Hello.

You remind me of someone.

A woman I know. Her name's Angela Benedict.

Same height. Same weight. Same general features.

Ever meet her?

No, but I�ve heard of her.

She's supposed to be a most unpleasant person.

Oh, no.

Now.

Whoever told you that? It's a lie. Angela is.

Well, you see, Angela has got a problem.

What kind of a problem?

The worst kind, same as mine.

Loneliness.

It's the worst thing to happen to a person.

You see, people think that Angela's hard.

People think she's cold.

But she isn't hard and she isn't cold.

She's soft and warm.

She's afraid to let anyone know.

Well, that sounds very odd to me.

No, it isn't odd at all.

I�m trying to tell you, loneliness can do that.

Then, of course, it isn't any of my business, but

why don't you and this person become friends?

I mean if-- lf you're both lonely.

She doesn't like me.

And it doesn't make any difference now.

Town we live in will be deserted in a few weeks.

They haven't decided yet?

Just pretend they haven't. I�m pleased to meet you, Miss--

Call me Angela.

Angela.

Beautiful name.

You were born with a great love for humanity, Clinton Stark

but this love soon turned to bitterness and contempt.

Why?

It's because in all your years

you've never been able to understand that perfection exists

only as an ideal.

Who's interested in ideals? Get the money. That's what counts.

Hold it out to the people. They'll grab at it.

That's the truth. There's nothing in between.

Oh, but there is. Life is sharing.

You began with an extreme notion of man's good

his strength and his nobility.

You ended with another extreme, equally false.

The notion of man's evil, his weakness and his ignobility.

Now you are involved in proving that point.

I�m proving it pretty well, I�d say.

If you believed that

you wouldn't need to reassure yourself every day.

Look at you now

gloating over a victory which is a defeat.

A defeat for all the ideals you once held sacred.

They'll vote to sell.

What have you shown

but your own greed, your own sick hunger for self-destruction?

If they sell their town to you, you'll realize an extensive profit

because you alone know a railroad's planned for this area within the year.

How'd you find out?

I am Apollonius of Tyana.

Did you tell anyone?

That would have the effect of altering the future.

Five cents, please.

Am I going to win?

Yes.

I can't figure out how he managed to get so much into this tent.

It seems to be bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.

-Dr. Lao is a remarkable man. -Peanuts.

Hey! How soon's the show gonna start?

Almost instanter.

How much is peanuts?

-One penny. -I�ll take a bag.

Out of a nickel.

Pass that up, please.

-How much is the popcorn? -What's that?

-How much is the popcorn? -Popcorn's free.

Right here!

And now

on with the show!

Ride him, sonny, ride him!

Ride him, sonny.

For me?

Oh, thank you.

Nice man. A real gentleman.

He's blind.

He can't see. He can't see.

Ladies and gentlemen

the spectacle you've been waiting for:

The Fall of the City.

I almost forgot.

Excuse very much. Excuse.

I almost forgot.

My pet.

The Loch Ness monster.

Excuse.

Excuse very much. Excuse, please.

Excuse.

The Fall of the City.

The city's name was Woldercan.

It existed beyond the edge of the world

some years before the beginning of history.

There are no records of Woldercan.

No artifacts. No descendants of its people.

In fact, there is no proof that there was such a place.

Yet it was as real as pain.

Citizens of Abalone, I give you

Woldercan.

It was a small city. A humble city.

Its people had little in the way of worldly goods.

And this little made for themselves by themselves

or euchred from the stubborn soil

or plucked from the cold and capricious heart of the sea.

Yet the Woldercanese were content

for in the goods of the spirit

they were rich.

For them, it was enough to partake of creation

and to give thanks unto their God.

Enough, and more.

Then one day, a stranger appeared in Woldercan.

And he said to the people:

Not enough!

You are poor when you could be rich.

You eat of humble fare

when you could feast.

You scratch at the ground, and the ground mocks you.

You pray to your God

and He laughs at you.

Fools. Be gone from this blighted place.

Fools.

And suddenly people were not content.

They listened to the stranger

and sold their souls for pieces of silver.

Then a fearful thing happened.

The God of All Life looked down upon the people of Woldercan

and was displeased.

And he said:

Treasures I had given thee beyond compare

yet thou didst spurn them

and for a handful of silver

sold thy souls.

And because He had been angered

God pointed His finger

and visited upon the city of Woldercan

the greatest plague of all:

Oblivion.

The time has come

when we must decide whether to accept

Mr. Stark's terms.

But before the final vote is taken.

I�d like to say.

Well, I�d simply like to say:

''Let your conscience be your guide.''

Would a show of hands be satisfactory, Mr. Stark?

All right then.

All those in favor of accepting Mr. Stark's proposal

raise your hands.

I said, ''Those in favor of accepting Mr. Stark's proposal.''

Those against?

Citizens of Abalone, I�ve lost.

I want you to know

it's the kind of loss

I�ve wished for, a long time.

So I guess I�ve really won. I think you ought to know

the railroad's coming through Abalone

which means money for you.

But you've gained something more than money, my friends.

So have I.

How it happened

I don't exactly know

but somehow

I think

we all owe a debt of gratitude

to an old Chinese faker named Lao.

Dust storm!

Well, good night.

-Good night, Tim. -Good night.

Isn't it a beautiful night?

Oh, yes, it's beautiful.

It's getting worse!

You'd better stay a while.

How do you feel?

Wonderful. I woke up and found out something.

Care to tell me?

Just that there's music in the air, and that I�m a liar and worse.

I�m in love.

And I say he's a hypnotist.

Who?

That old Chinese faker.

The way I figure it, he's got everybody hypnotized.

Dirty foreigner.

Harry, some more redeye, and fast!

What do you suppose happened to the boss?

He turned yellow, that's what.

And I�m through with him. You hear me? Through!

Carey, you know.

You know, I think we ought to pay that little baldy a visit.

Yeah. Shake him up a little.

You'll see how fast them people come to their senses.

-We'll show them who's boss. -What about the storm?

Well, who's afraid of an itty-bitty storm?

Carey, how come the tent don't blow down?

He's got it hypnotized too.

He's got everything hypnotized except us.

Let's go.

Hey, Baldy. Where are you?

Come on out, you old Chinese faker!

Hey, Carey!

Have a look.

Ruin it. Ruin it.

Hey, Carey!

Look here. The fish. Come here.

Carey, finish him off!

Dr. Lao

open up, Dr. Lao! Hurry!

Dr. Lao! Please open up!

Dr. Lao! Please hurry!

It's Mr. Stark's men!

They're wrecking your circus!

They let your pet out.

Loch Ness monster out of tank?

Hey, look. Wait.

Okay, Mike. Oh, my pipe. My pipe.

Over there!

Lucas, don't stand there! Help me!

Oh, please.

Be careful!

Dr. Lao!

Please! Please!

Out. Get out. Get out.

Go. Get out. Out.

Dr. Lao!

Dr. Lao, look out! He's gonna eat you!

My pipe. My pipe!

Dr. Lao! Dr. Lao, are you all right?

I guess so.

My glasses.

My glasses.

My glasses!

Here my glasses.

My pet!

My pet.

Oh, I got him. Oh, I got him.

I got him. I got him. Okay.

That's show biz. Come on, Mike.

Look, the circus is gone.

Mike, I want you to tell the truth.

Honest, Mom. I saw it with my own eyes.

It was bigger than a building.

It chased them out of town. It was gonna eat up Dr. Lao.

But I lit the machine and it exploded, and then it began to rain and--

This belongs to Lucas. I recognize it.

You see. Now you believe me, don't you?

I believe something fishy's been going on the past couple days.

There they are.

Michael! Mike, come back here!

Mike, come back here!

Dr. Lao, Dr. Lao! Wait for me!

Mike! Michael!

Come back!

Wait for me, Dr. Lao. Wait for me.

Come back, Mike.

Wait for me, Dr. Lao!

I wonder where he came from.

Or where he's going.

Or if he was ever here at all.

I can do it. You see, Dr. Lao, I can do it.

Look, Dr. Lao. Watch me.

I can do it!

Mike, the whole world is a circus if you look at it the right way.

Every time you pick up a handful of dust

and see not the dust

but a mystery, a marvel, there in your hand.

Every time you stop and think:

''I'm alive, and being alive is fantastic. ''

Every time such a thing happens, Mike, you are

a part of the Circus of Doctor Lao.