Original subtitles

- Hey, what's up? I'm Echo Kellum.

This morning I was awoken by a man in a mask.

He put me in a car.

I was drove to the set.

I forgot that I was supposed to do this job, but here I am.

Let's go. (upbeat music)

- [Vic] Today we're giving this comedian

a total transformation.

They have no idea who or what they're about to become.

- Maybe I'm a raptor. - Once they see themselves

in the mirror, they'll have to make up

the character on the spot.

- Oh man. - And then sit down with me

for an improvised interview.

(Echo chuckles)

This is "Very Important People."

- [Stylist] What do you think you are?

- (laughs) I have no clue. - Open.

- (chuckles) Oh my God.

Oh shit, I'm like a merman.

Oh, whoa.

That's pretty cool.

Oh, it's fins.

Oh, these contacts are nuts.

They're...

Wow. (upbeat music)

Holy moly.

Mildly attractive, I will say, I like this.

Yeah, he's at the beach, he's chilling.

(gruffly) My name is Ergone,

and I come from a place very, very low in the Atlantic Ocean

past the Titanic. (laughs)

(surfer bro accent) Hey, what's up?

Yeah, dude, there's some bros down under too.

Like, you gotta think about that, you know what I'm saying?

I've been, like, in the gym, you know?

Just like lifting.

(in a rural twangy accent) ? He could kind of have a, like a thing like this ?

(Echo growls)

(aggressively) Do you need saving?

Where are you running to?

I'm here to help. (laughs menacingly)

Obviously he's from Atlantis.

Yet he came to LA to be a lifeguard

and you know, he is dating, he is figuring it out. (laughs)

(bright upbeat music)

(trumpets blare) (upbeat music fades)

- Okay, so...

Okay.

(heels tap)

Okay, so I guess I'm doing the...

Doing the camera now, so...

Okay.

Can I say "Action"?

Maybe I should do that all the time, so...

(clears throat) We all have a story to tell

and sometimes those stories need to be shared

with the world.

Good evening, I'm Vic Michaelis,

back with another edition of "Very Important People."

Please introduce yourself.

- Hi, I am Jordache.

(drum booms) (intriguing music)

- Jordache, hello.

Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, Vic.

- You're a very special guest here today.

- Yeah. - Traveled a long way

to get here. - From Atlantis.

- From Atlantis. - Yeah.

So- - Now, this is huge.

I saw all the news articles

and they said that some Atlanteans would be joining us-

- Yeah. - Here on the surface.

- Yeah, we're here.

We're out here. (laughs) - Okay.

- Yeah, we're from the dirty south. (laughs)

Really, 'cause it- - 'Cause...

- It gets dirty down- - Under the ocean

- A lot of the trash drops down

to the bottom of the ocean.

- We're sorry.

- (laughs) Yeah. - Sorry.

- It's been tough for us, yeah.

- But you are here now. - Yeah.

- Up where the people are. - Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

? Up where they walk, up where they run ?

- Mm-mm. ? Up where they stay ?

- Mm-mm. ? All day ?

- Mm-mm. ? It's the sun ?

- Mm-mm. - No?

- "Little Mermaid" is not a good film for us.

- Not a good film for you? - No, it's not a good look.

I mean, I loved watching it as a kid,

but my parents, they had to reeducate me.

- I see. - And say

"This is a problematic film." - Isn't what it is.

- It's really not.

It's a lot of human bias on what we're like.

Ursula is somebody that's very looked up to in Atlantis.

- So they're real. - Yes.

These are real characters

that- - Okay, and I thought-

- Disney- - It was a cartoon-

- Balled. - And I apologize.

- Yeah, no, Ariel is real and she is a hoot, honey.

But she never cared about coming to the mainland.

That was not her thing.

She was like, "I don't wanna be in the mainland."

- So that was a lie?

So Ariel, Atlantean confirmed.

- Yeah, mm-hmm, that is confirmed.

Yeah. - I mean, that is massive

and that's actually great for our program to break that.

So thank you. - Yeah.

Of course. - So I'd say up here,

you know, Atlantis was a myth.

- Yeah. - Until very recently.

- Was the mainland a myth

or was that something

you were sure existed? - Yeah, we knew it had existed

because we take a lot of the culture from mainland.

- Really? - And bring it down-

- What kind? - To Atlantis.

- "Sanford and Son."

I've watched- - "Sanford and Son"?

- So much "Sanford and Son".

"Sanford and Son" is like king.

- May I ask...

You know, I know that you had talked

about wanting to sort of give people an insight

into what it's like to be Atlantean.

- Yeah. - Living here

in the United States- - Yeah.

- Of America.

- Yeah. - How has that transition

been for you?

- It's honestly been pretty chill for me.

I got a job life guarding.

- Okay. - At the beach.

- Interesting that you chose life guarding.

Not to speak out of turn here,

but you told one of my producers,

you actually are the son of the prime minister.

Is that true? - I don't like

to lead with that.

You know, I don't want people thinking I'm some special guy

because my dad's the prime minister of Atlantis.

- So you don't think it's nepotism that got you here today?

- No, nepotism got me here.

- Oh, I see. - This is how

you get out of Atlantis.

You have to have someone connected in your family

to get out of Atlantis to come up to the surface.

So nepotism did get me here and I'm understanding of that.

And I, you know, I'm thankful.

- Well, that was brave. - Yeah.

- That was very brave of you to admit.

- Some people run from nepotism.

I say "Stop running." - Dive in.

- Dive in. (laughs)

That's good. - Thank you.

- That's good.

We use that a lot, "Dive in."

Yeah, that's great, yeah. - Hey, this is wonderful.

- This is fun. - Okay, so can I ask-

- Yeah. - What is your day-to-day

up here looking like,

now that you've sort- - Yeah.

- Of embraced culture, you have a day job?

- Yeah, and I'm also a businessman.

- Oh. - I am selling water.

- You're selling water? - Yeah.

I started a company, it's called Deep Water.

It's water from the deepest regions of the Pacific Ocean.

And when I tell you it is pristine,

it's like Fiji times three.

It's so good, it's so yummy.

I tasted your water, it tastes like crap.

- That? - This water tastes like crap.

- Oh, got it from the aqueduct, I think,

the water- - Don't wanna get your water

from an aqueduct, trust me. - No?

- No.

The deeper the water, the purer it is.

Once you filter all the trash particles and whatnot.

- Can I ask you, from the ocean, right?

- Yeah, from the ocean. - So is it S...

- It's salted. - Salt water.

It's fresh water, it's salted- - It's fresh water

that's salted.

We add the salt, actually.

We take out the salt particles and then we add the salt-

- Salt back into it. - And it's really good.

It's interesting- - How interesting.

Well, I heard you brought a little bit of the product-

- I did. - And I was hoping

maybe I could try a little bit.

- Yeah. - So if we could get a PA

to fly in the product, please.

- Yeah.

Oh yeah. - Amazing.

- This is perfect. - And they all come

in these shells.

Basically, you'll just take a sip of it

and you sprinkle the salt into your mouth,

while the water's filling- - So I'm adding the salt?

- Yes, you add the salt.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm. - So first, just a little sip.

(Vic sips water)

Mm. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Pinch. - Mm?

- [Jordache] Mm-hmm.

- It does taste...

It tastes like the ocean. - Yeah.

And it's pretty reasonable.

Basically it's only like $70 per-

- Seventy? - Per serving.

- Sand dollars. - Yeah, sand dollars.

Yes, but it does convert to 70-

- It's just a one-to-one- - US Dollars, one-to-one.

- 70 US dollars? - Yeah, our economy's are-

- For this? - Really great, so...

- Well, that's huge. - Yeah.

- And I'm glad I got this one gifted to me.

- Yes.

Didn't know it was a gift initially, but yes.

- Okay, so- - I was hoping to-

- Well, I will say- - Get that sale.

But that's fine, yeah. - Thank you.

Well, and I noticed you're sort of...

- Yeah. - So like,

here we do like haute couture for, you know,

watches and high-end clothing brands.

And I see you've sort of done the same thing

with your water brand here. - Yeah.

I model on the side a little bit.

Nothing too crazy. - Do you?

- Yeah, a little bit.

Nothing...

I don't like to brag- - Stop! I thought-

- About that either. - I recognized you.

- [Jordache] Yeah.

Yeah. - You do the watch ads.

- Yeah, yeah. - Can we get a little sample

of the watch ads sort of on...

- Sure. - So I'm flipping

through the magazine- - Okay, okay.

- And all of a sudden I go, "Oh, what's this?"

I mean, come on, everyone.

- Yeah. - Look at that.

- I mean- - TAG Heuer.

- That's a talent. - It is really tough to model.

I will say that.

- Can I just tell you- - Yeah.

- Highlight of my Super Bowl this year

was seeing your watch commercial come on.

- Wow, yeah. - Are we okay

to show a little clip of it now?

- Yeah, go for it. - Okay, well,

let's take a peek right here.

(ominous music) (water flowing)

(tigers growling) (metal rings)

(adventurous music building up)

(cool guitar music)

- Look deep in yourself.

Ocean depths, the green abyss.

Excuse me, do you have the time?

Oh, it's now.

(chime rings) (adventurous music)

- Wow.

Wow. - Yeah.

- Just incredible.

How was it filming in the desert?

- It is a little problem.

It's very dry and I, you know,

I like it a little wet, (laughs)

if that makes sense. - Okay.

- Yeah, I don't wanna

dry out. - Same.

May I ask a bit

of a personal question? - Yeah.

- Do you breathe air? - Yes.

- Yes. - I do.

I'm a dual breather. - Of course.

- Dual, air/water breather. - Wish that was me.

- I wish that too 'cause you could come down to Atlantis

so, like, we can hang out.

- I would love to- - You know what...

Yeah, yeah. - Would've love that.

- Yeah, yeah. - So, maybe,

still like the invite. - Yeah.

- Maybe I could learn how to scuba.

- We have those little bubble helmets too

that I could get you one of those.

- Okay, well, maybe we'll talk...

Let's talk about that. - Okay, let's talk about-

- After. - Yeah, yeah.

- I'll give you my phone number.

- Okay, great, that's great, yeah.

- Cool. - Yeah.

- Sorry. - So anyway... (laughs)

- Interview. (Jordache laughs)

Interview, interview.

- Yeah. - Now I think the question

everyone's thinking of, why we got legs?

- Yeah, so I did have the surgery.

- If you don't mind me saying,

HR, cover your ears, looking fantastic.

- Thank you.

Yeah, I got some nice gams.

I'm very thankful for them.

- Now, a little birdie did tell me

that you've sort of dipped your toe into the dating pool.

- Yeah, I have, I have.

Yeah.

It's been a lot of fun.

I'm on- - dipped your toe

into the dating 'pool'. - Yeah, that's a clever...

That's clever.

Yeah.

I'm on Plenty of Fish. - Oh...

- I'm on Raya, obviously, right?

- Obviously, model.

- I'm having some fun.

I'm meeting some cool humans.

I'm like- - So you're dating humans?

- I'm dating humans.

I'm dating humans. - That is incredible.

- Yeah. - And how is it going so far?

- You know, I had a girlfriend for four years.

- You had a girlfriend for- - She was great.

- Four years? - Yeah, Magabelle.

She was great, she- - Magabelle?

(both wheezing)

(soft elevator music)

- Magabelle. - Magabelle?

- Yeah, Magabelle.

Yeah, she was great.

But her sense of humor was just too dry. (laughs)

- Okay, this is fun.

Are you seeing this?

I want more guests like this.

Okay. - Yeah.

- This is amazing. - Yeah.

- I love that. - That was the reason

we broke up though. - Right.

- That was it, yeah. - Sort of just didn't-

- Yeah. - Didn't really-

- Yeah, didn't really connect. - Play into-

- Yeah. - Okay, well, hey...

And that's fair enough. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- So you're putting yourself back out there.

- Yeah. - How's it going?

- It's not going so well. - That's hard to believe.

- I mean- - You're so charming

And so wonderful, and- - Oh, thank you, wow.

- And rich- - Thank you.

- In your home city- - Yeah.

- And also here. - And here too, yeah.

It translates. - I mean, just incredible.

- I think it should be going better

and it's not. - I think so too.

- I don't get it. - Maybe we should date.

- (laughs) Stop, are you single?

- (sighs) Yeah. No. - I see the ring.

I was like, "Is that just for show or"-

- That's hard. - Yeah.

- No, I'm... - Happily...

- And that's my stepdaughter.

Right there. - Oh.

- Wave.

- Well, that's classic me.

I connect with someone and then bam, rock!

- Rock. - (laughs) You know?

- Yeah. - Taken, you know?

Because all the good ones, it feels like they are.

(Jordache laughs) - Yeah.

- You know? - Yeah.

- And so I'm just trying to navigate that.

- I had a little idea. - Sure.

- And my thought is that we sort of maybe

look at Plenty of Fish here.

- Sure. - And we just sort of

go through and we see some people,

and we can maybe swipe left and right together,

see what you're looking for. - Okay, yeah.

I like that, okay. - What do you think?

(calm music)

Okay, so we got our first one up here.

Okay, Amanda. - Okay.

- She is 36- - Oh.

- And she is from the Greater Los Angeles area.

- I like that, yeah. - Amazing.

- I like the fact that she's wearing a fedora.

- That's fun. - That's a choice.

- And a cool choice. - That's a choice.

- I'd swipe right on that.

- You'd swipe right on that? - Yeah, swipe right

when it's a yes? - We swipe right

when it's a yes? - Okay, I'll swipe left

on that. - Oh, okay.

So that's a no. - That's a no.

- And it's the fedora? - Yeah.

- The fedora is the one thing that did keep me in-

- Well, she also- - She's 36,

she's a little young for me.

- A little young for you? - A little young for me, yeah.

- Okay, there's plenty more.

So don't even- - There's plenty more,

yeah, sure, yeah. - Don't worry about that.

- Okay, next we have Chelsea. - Mm-hmm.

- 38. - Okay.

- And she is from Dorchester, New York.

- And I love the fact that she's just like, singing karaoke.

- [Vic] Yeah, absolutely.

- Yeah. - She says,

"Living life large, one song at a time."

That's kinda fun, it's- - "What song?"

Is the question I have.

I'm gonna swipe left.

I don't know what song she's talking about.

I- - So, because you don't know

specifically what song

she's singing there- - Yeah.

- You're swiping left? - I need a woman

who knows what she wants.

- Okay. - Who isn't afraid

to say what she wants, and who tells me what she wants.

- Wow. - Yeah.

Yeah. - Okay.

Sounds like me. - I need that.

- Okay. - That does sound like you,

I thought that this whole interview-

- Okay, all right. - You were just, wow.

Yeah. - So we're gonna go ahead

and we're gonna swipe again.

Okay, we have Hannah, she's 41 years old.

- Ooh. - And she is from Silver Lake.

- Wow.

Now, see Hannah is typically everything

I like about somebody.

- Oh, I see. - She's absolutely beautiful.

I love her style.

- And if you look at her thing, it says,

"I love my family, I love swimming,

I love "Sanford and Son." - "Sanford and Son."

Oh my God, she loves "Sanford and Son."

- Look at that. - Wow.

Yeah, I must swipe left on this one.

Yeah. - Swipe left

on that one? - Yeah, swipe left

on that one. - Why on that one?

- I just didn't like her name.

- Well, of course, hey.

And so, you know what?

Hannah, get outta here. - Get outta here.

Yeah. - I agree.

Well, I mean, it's gotta be hard.

And it sounds like with- - Yeah.

- You know, sort of your specific thoughts

on who you wanna be dating,

it's probably gotta be hard and-

- Yeah. - And maybe feeling

a little out of practice. - Yeah.

It does feel a little out of practice.

You know, again, I just wanna date someone

who is easy to talk to, who knows how to dress.

Like, you know, dresses up- - Bow-

- Try new things. - Suit.

- Yeah, suit, bow.

Like, exactly what you're wearing.

That's what I'm into. - I'm not available.

- Yeah, that's beautiful.

And that's- - This?

- That's stunning.

- Now, I know that you said

you haven't been on a successful date in a little while,

so you know what I thought,

"Hey, why don't we just do a practice date?"

- I love that. - Do you wanna go

on a practice date with me? - I would love

to go on a practice date with you.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

That sounds incredible. - I'd love that too.

- Let's do that. - Let's get a PA

fly in the date.

(soft music)

Oh. - Wow.

- I haven't been, like, on a date in a long time.

So it's kind of a practice date-

- Right, yeah. - For me.

- Yeah. - No, it's just with,

you know, and so it- - Yeah.

- [Vic] It's been a while since I've been on a date.

- Right, 'cause you're married.

- Yeah, he's not home a ton.

- Really?

Well, I'll tell you this, if I was your husband,

I'd be there all the time. (laughs)

There's no way I'd let you be-

- Really? - Alone for a long time.

- We got people sort of in the guest house, but-

- Oh. - Oh, you're so tall.

- Yeah, I'm so tall.

You're tall too, I love- - Oh, thank you.

- I love her height. - It's these.

- Well, they're very nice. - But I'll keep 'em on.

- Yeah. (laughs) - I'll keep 'em on.

- Yeah, that's great.

Wow. - This is a fun height.

- This is a fun height. - Everyone's so tiny.

- Tinies. - Like-

- So short. - So short.

- I insist on that, yeah.

- Your eyes are- - Your eyes are...

- Wow. - Okay.

- Anyway. (chuckles) - Wow.

Get a closeup of the eyes, right?

- (laughs) Wow. - So over here

and then you, maybe you in that camera.

So- - Yeah, yeah, okay.

- So here we go.

Hi. - All right.

- So...

It's like if we had kids, what would our...

What our kids eyes look like? - I know,

what would they look like?

What would our kids look like?

- Like- - They'd be so-

- Beautiful. - Yeah.

- Okay, so- - Yeah.

- Oh, wow. - There we go.

- Yeah, this is- - Okay, so, thank you so much.

- I wish I would've wore something different.

- Okay. (Jordache laughs)

Hey, hey- - I would've dressed up.

- Hey, me too, me too. (Jordache laughing)

- You look beautiful. - I've sort of a nice suit-

- Yeah, it's- - That I would've put on.

- So stunning. - So this is...

- And those... - Sort of-

- Blouse underneath. - When you go, like this,

there's sort of a- - Yeah.

- Pattern on the inside. - There's a pattern, yeah.

Wow. - Okay, so-

- That's- - You know, I just sort of

thought we'd practice a date,

and I thought- - Yeah, sure.

- Maybe ask some get-to-know-you questions.

- Sure, I love that. - You know?

And I have some rapid-fire questions

I ask most of my guests. - Okay, great.

- So maybe I could ask you those

for our first date questions. - Love that.

- What do you think? - I love this.

- Okay. - I think this is fun.

- Two-in-one. (chuckles) (Jordache chuckles)

You ready? Here we go.

"What is your love language?"

- Physical touch. - Same.

- Yeah, I just- - Yeah.

- Something about being next to your partner.

You just wanna be closer. - Yeah, yeah.

And then you just sort of like, reach out-

- Yeah, reach out. - And they reach back.

- You just like wanna- - It's like-

- [Both] Ah. (Jordache chuckles)

- Yeah, just wanna...

That kismet energy. - Yeah, yeah.

I mean- - Yeah.

- Like, with a partner, I'm just like...

I wanna be able to like...

Get all the food off,

just like- - Yeah, just like...

Just knock it all down and just like...

Like, that would be

so amazing. - Get in there.

- Just like, wipe all the food off the table-

- Food off. - And just like,

"I'm gonna physically touch you."

- I wanna physically... - Yeah.

- Touch, get in there. - Touch you.

- Get in there, yeah. - Okay, yeah.

- Yeah, so- - That would be fine, yeah.

- "Have you ever been arrested?"

- Yes. - Yes?

- Yes, yes. - Okay, may I ask what for?

- (sighs) I was driving a seahorse under the influence.

Yeah. - You probably had somewhere

really important to get to. - Yeah, I did.

I was trying to get to a banquet,

but I had a couple too many.

- Well, hey, I'm sure that that was a long time ago

and you've learned- - I was young.

- And you've grown. - Yeah, yeah.

I've grown like algae.

(Jordache laughs) - Okay.

(both wheezing)

- Are you getting this? - I'm sorry, I-

- Don't ever- - I joke.

- Don't ever apologize! - Okay.

- Like ever. - I won't.

- To these, never, to these people-

- Okay, I'm- - And to us.

- I'm done apologizing - Because you're perfect.

- Thank you. - Thank you

- Vic, you're...

You're one of the sweetest people, I think, I've met.

(soft calm music)

- All right, are we ready?

- Yes. - How do you take your coffee?

- I like it wet. (laughs) - Okay.

- Seriously though,

you should try some Deep Water with the coffee.

It adds some really nice flavors.

- Maybe we'll chat afterwards and maybe I'll order a case

for my guests. - Yeah, I guess I will

make that sale. (laughs) - Okay. (chuckles)

I think you did. - Wow.

Wow. - I wanna support you.

So- - Okay, thank you so much.

Wow. (clears throat)

- What is...

Sorry, you're like, so far

over there. - I feel so-

- I'm like- - Far. (laughs)

- So I'll just like, I'll get a little closer.

You can just, like, stay. - No, I can get closer.

- Okay, so here we are. (Jordache clears his throat)

Oh, and look at that.

- Wow. - And I don't even have

to move the plates. - Yeah, this is nice.

(Jordache clears his throat)

- Okay, what is your lucky number?

- My lucky number's 222. - Huh, why?

- Yeah, 'cause that's the number that I was...

Of my mother's brood.

- Brood. - (laughs) Yeah.

- I'm her youngest, I'm her 222nd.

- You're the baby. - I'm the baby.

- Oh my God. - Yeah.

- Okay. - What are you?

- I'm a twin.

- Wow. - And I have

two younger brothers, yeah.

- Wow. - One of four.

- Wow. - (quiet) We don't talk.

(both chuckle)

Last but not least.

And this is something that I ask-

- Sure. - Each and every one

of my guests.

"What is the meaning of life?"

- Wow, that's a good question.

- Thanks. - I think

the meaning of life to me

is love.

(calm music)

You know, to find someone that you really connect with?

- Right. - That you can build

something with, that you can have a partnership with.

You know, tackle all the hurdles together.

- I see. - Ride the waves.

(both laugh)

'Cause life is about ups and downs.

- Ups and down. - You know?

It's ups and downs. - Are you shore?

- I know, it could be

about ups. - Are you shore?

- If you with the right person-

- Are you "shore"? - It's just ups.

- Yeah. - S-H-O-R-E?

Are you shore? (both laugh)

- It took me a second.

It took me a second. - I was gonna keep

spelling it. - That was...

It was...

Yeah, that's...

Wow.

- Mm... - Yeah.

So, yeah. - Is that your pool?

- That, yeah, that's... - I'd love a, like, a tour.

- Yeah, you wanna check it out?

I'd love to show you it.

- Yeah, look, I'd love to- - Yeah.

- See your- - I got...

Yeah, let show you it.

- Love to see your, like, pool.

Pool. - Yeah, of course.

Yeah. (clears throat)

Oh yeah. (chuckles)

- Right there. - So it's three feet deep.

- Right. - And it is filled

with Deep Water.

- It's filled with Deep Water.

So that's all- - Filled with Deep Water.

- And then you can swim really well in Deep Water.

There's a lot of buoyancy. - Buoyancy.

- Yeah. - Oh, fun.

- You took the words right out of my-

- Okay. - Mouth.

Yeah. - Okay, cool.

- Yeah.

There's a drain right here.

- Nice. - And it's firm, right?

- Yeah. - It's safe.

- I mean, like, well, that really is it.

Is I was like, I was like-

- Yeah. - "Oh, what's that?"

And I'm going, "Oh." - Yeah, like, yeah.

- Oh, you can get right- - Right?

- On there, that's so fun. - I mean...

- And you can get in,

it's like- - Okay.

Are you a shoes-off-

- Shoes off, yeah. - Pool?

- Shoes off, shoes off- - Shoes off?

- At the pool, yeah, - For sure.

- Yeah. - So just...

Ugh, okay. - So...

Just a little. (water splashes softly)

Yeah, wow.

Yeah. - Whoa.

Okay.

Whoa. - Yeah, wow.

It's nice, right? - Whoa.

Okay. - Yeah.

- Oh, cool, cool. - It's pretty sweet.

Wow, huh? - Whoa.

- Yeah. - Whoa.

- Whoa. (laughs)

- Wow. - Watch out!

- Oh no! - It's wet in here-

- Ah, ah! - It's really wet.

(both laugh)

- Wow. - Wow.

- What are we doing? - What is this?

This is- - Okay.

- We're just living. - Living.

- We're living life. - Living life.

- Yeah.

This is my idea

of a perfect date. - Okay.

Right here. - Just...

- Just... - Yeah?

- Water surrounding you.

- I've...

I've never been in

someone's pool before.

- You know, I haven't had anyone

in my pool since Magabelle.

- Whoa, okay. - Yeah, so-

- Yeah. - It's the first time

in a year. (chuckles) - That's cool.

That's so cool. - Yeah.

This is...

It's just nice, you know? - Yeah.

- It's like it's nice. - Yeah.

- Do you feel the salt in there?

- Yeah, it's like- - It's really...

- I'm like floating. - Yeah.

It's nice. - That's like...

Whoa. - Yeah, this is all me.

This is... (calm poignant music)

- So I think let's just go ahead

and like mark us down for like 70 cases.

- Yeah, of the Deep Water? - Yeah, just like-

- Wow. - This like, rocks.

- Who are you, my angel? - Okay.

I'd like to be. - Am I a starfish? (laughs)

- I'll be your little jellyfish.

Sea jelly, technically, 'cause I know fish.

- Yeah, yeah. - It's not a fish.

- It's not a fish. - It's not a fish

and that's why I...

Hey, I guess I gotta watch some episodes

of "Sanford and Sons".

- Yeah, maybe you do. - Yeah.

- You ever see that? - I was too young...

Well, I was too young when it came out.

- Wait.

Wait, how old are you? - 30.

(calm music stops) (water splashes)

- What?

- I'm 30. - No.

Hey.

Hey. - Hey.

Whoa. - That's too young for me.

- Oh. (Jordache sighs)

But no, remember it was like, "Oh, well, what's"-

- Wow. - It was like,

"Oh, let's date"- - No, no.

- And then we got in your pool

and you were like- - Yeah.

- Nobody's been in my pool- - I didn't know

you were 30, I thought you were older.

- I can be. - You can't make it up.

- I could be older. - You can't...

You can't be older. - I could try.

- I want someone who has a little bit more experience.

I'm tired of dating these young women.

- Well, I could try- - I mean, pretending?

- Gimme an opportunity! (sad music)

- I'm getting out the pool. - Okay, right.

So, okay.

Hey, and actually no, yeah.

You get outta here, so...

I'm married. - I know.

And that's the other thing.

- So... - You're married.

So- - And he's...

And Bianca, so...

Chin up and feet together.

So you know what?

Hey, actually, I'm done!

(sad music)

- Okay. - You are too...

How old are you? - 76.

- You're 76 years old? - Yes.

- Okay, so I think we're done here actually.

And I'm done with this. - Oh, okay-

- So I think I'm done. - That's good.

- I'm done too, great. - And so...

And so, (clears throat) I'm Vic Michaelis,

reminding you to be true to yourself,

unless you'd rather be somebody else.

Goodnight.

Is it legally binding for that 70 cases?

(funky upbeat music)

(funky upbeat music continues)

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