Original subtitles

good evening my victims

and welcome to my Halloween Monster Marathon

with me your host Melvia

the queen of screams

so now that you're done terrorizing the neighborhood

and are safe in your homes

or so you think

I have a special sweet treat just for you

I went down to the basement and dug up some creepy

dead time views for you to feast your eyes upon

before this all Hallows Eve has been laid to rest

so sit back begin to stir

and let me drag you into the chilling depths

of this Halloween monster Marathon haha

tell me you're good to go with this pitch

given that we just answered the Craigslist ad yesterday

and we've had what

about 24 hours to come up with a presentation

I would venture to say yes

yeah okay

seriously

just let me do the talking okay

I'm the business end you're the production

and it's yeah yeah yeah

you sell her on how great our services are

and I'll do all the leg work

you know the script

the shot list the camera work

the lighting the sound

you know all right

all right I get it

my bad

I mean seriously

how long does it take to make a reservation call

I'm sweating here man

I don't know

but I do know when she comes in here

we need to sell ourselves on this

like we've been doing this for years

I apologize for making you wait

in here I just never know how long

one of these booking phone calls is gonna take

oh oh sorry

oh

okay let's start over

remind me you're Tyler correct

and you're Kevin yeah

and you must be Kathy that would be me oh

please have a seat

oh thank you for meeting me on such short notice

it's quite alright um

we didn't have anything planned tonight anyway

it is just Halloween after all haha

so let's jump right into it

my associate and

I think we've come up with a really solid commercial

idea for your bed breakfast wonderful

so this is the script that we discussed

uh yes

uh granted we did what we could with what time we had

uh huh and what are these drawings

um those are storyboards um

they help us plan the production out in advance

we can move a little bit faster through it

and I see that you brought the equipment with you

as well yes

you know just like you had asked and you

we totally understand you wanna make sure uh

we're working with legitimate production gear

yeah hey

you know it's

we don't want you to think that this is our first paid

gig or anything like that

well

sorry to tell you guys this

but there's no reason to get out all your equipment

go over that with me I think I've made up my mind

you guys have the job this is great okay

sweet alright so how about this

you give us a couple days

we'll go home check our schedules

and then I'll give you a call

and we can set up some days to shoot

how's that sound well

why wait let's do it tonight

I mean you guys already driven all the way out here

and if it gets too late you can stay the night

give us a moment

you know I really do need this done as soon as possible

well I can pay you in advance

I can write you a check right now okay

okay yeah

we can swing this yeah alright

seriously though this place is beyond marketable

I mean we could pitch this for honeymoons

anniversaries family gatherings

the possibilities are endless

from a marketing standpoint

I mean I couldn't agree more

you gotta love the outside architecture of this place

I mean it looks like something from a fairy tale

it's funny you should say that

the locals call this the gingerbread house

the world just needs to know

places like this still exist

and once we get your promo video on the internet

they will

oh sorry

look I can get a pretty beautiful shot right here too

look at that yeah come here

what you don't like it

no huh

I thought I saw something

yeah hopefully

it was that beautiful money shot I was showing you what

don't worry Kathy

this commercial

is definitely gonna help make your business

a destination again

I sure hope so

please take a look around and get some more ideas

I'm gonna go fix my face and make another pot of coffee

sure thing

going over the layout

we should probably cover this hallway first

and then branch out so how about you stay here

start getting set up I'll go around to the other rooms

check them out

and try and get some ideas to add to what we got

yes sir

absolutely whatever you say sir

cut the shit dude

bathroom No. 3

nice I like this

okay this is sweet

got the bubble like that sink

all that tub is curved what is that

copper man like that let's see

it's an old ass shower

cool though we can definitely use that

okay so when I get to this step

I turn back to the camera and I say

be our guest and join me on a tour blah blah blah yeah

just make sure you continue facing the camera

while you're talking um

after that you can turn around and walk up the steps

if you mess up don't worry about it

you know we can

we can do this as many times as we have to

until you get it right okay

oh there you are

that's about time is everything okay

hmm no

no everything's fine

you sure everything's okay

yeah could you give us a minute please sure

what's up

it's nothing um

but I walked in on a guest in the shower

in the shower yes

just keep it on the DL I don't think she saw me

but I don't wanna cause any trouble or anything

is she was she hot

no fuck no

she's like 100 dude

that's fucking gross man

I thought I knew you better than that

let's do this do your thing buddy

I'm rolling Kathy in 3 2

1 action hello and welcome to Montgomery Mansion

your vacation away from the outside world

experience

the beauty and charm of our historic bed and breakfast

be my guest and join me on a tour throughout the house

and all of its amenities

come on man

dude what

did I do something wrong no

it it was that woman

she was standing what woman

there was an old lady standing at the top of the steps

it was that same one I walked in on dude

there's no woman there I'm sorry Kathy

I walked in on one of your guests by accident

she was just standing behind you

we never book guests on Halloween

it seems to be the one night that our rooms

get the most abuse it's just not worth it to be open

yeah that makes sense

one moment please

hey when you were taking your stroll around the house

you weren't hitting the old

that sticky Iggy or anything

no I didn't

you good

stay in one of our 3 luxurious bedrooms

the perfect place

oh

uh

sorry guys

I got this the perfect place to rest your head

speaking of rest when was the last time you had some

honey if I had to guess

I'd say I get maybe one good night sleep a year alright

uh let's go ahead and try that again

Tyler if you wouldn't mind closing that door for me

please yeah

actually go ahead and step inside

I'm gonna move the camera back

and I think you might be in the shot

where you were standing previously alright

alright you ready Kathy

roll it

3 2 1 action

stay in one of our three luxurious bedrooms

what's up

not tomorrow

okay great

well

I mean you ruined that takes

now we gotta do it again anyway

I gotta get a fresh battery

this one's defective or something

and just went from like 100 to zero in a second

so take five guys

oh would you shut that door behind you

it helps keep the draft down out here

you can say whatever you want

but I'm telling you

I heard somebody coughing in that room okay

I saw and felt a hand a goddamn hand

I'm not saying you didn't well

I will tell you this

this is a very old house with a really rich history

but you know

it's odd that you mention seeing an old woman

had a few guests over the years

claiming to have experienced something

while they were trying to sleep

I think they refer to it as the old hag

old hag

like old hag syndrome you know

it's kind of like um

like sleep paralysis you know

it's like whenever your mind's still awake

but your body's sleeping

so you can't like move or anything like that

and then some people like claim that when that happens

sometimes you see like

an old woman climb up on your chest

and strangle you while you're sleeping really

oh so

that's why the locals call this place

the Gingerbread House because of that old hag

no man because it's just a creepy house

I mean no offense that it's

it's Halloween man

I'm sure the atmosphere is just getting to you right

have you ever seen it okay

uh Kathy

we're actually done here

if you wanna go ahead and head up to the next location

we'll follow you up

and get everything else finished up here okay

just stay down here alright

just stay down here and log the footage okay

I'll go up

I'll film the next shot and get everything going

you sure man yeah

I'm positive

because any more of this old lady witch nonsense

she's gonna think we're both crazy

and I can't have that

I'm sorry boys

I thought I could do this but my brain is fried

I can't even form thoughts anymore

that's fine um

we can come back another day

just give us a minute to pack up everything

and we'll be out of your hair

nah I'm I'm exhausted too man

like is that overnight stay still available

oh absolutely

alright cool

we'll see we'll see you in the morning

wonderful breakfast will be at 9

you two have a good night

guess who won't be at breakfast okay

I'm telling you I've been seeing shit all night

I'm not staying here

we'll just do it first thing in the morning

and we'll be done alright I'm sorry

fucking ghost and shit what

alright fine

okay but let's at least just stay in the same room

you can have a bed you can have the bed

I'm not going to sleep dude

you're not gonna be able to stay awake until morning

and I'm not gonna listen to you snore up the drapes

okay so I'm gonna go up to the third floor no

no dude

don't go up there I'm telling you

I'm not going to sleep okay

I'm up all night what are you so afraid of man

it's not like there's an actual old hang up there

it's gonna choke me to death alright good night

let's get some sleep

we'll be out of here in the morning

no fuck all that

yo

and I know you ain't fall asleep that fast man

I'm so sorry boys

this wouldn't have happened to whoever answered that ad

I don't have a choice

it's the only way she'll let me sleep

just let me sleep

wow I can't believe they actually released

that into theaters

you sure you don't want to see how it ends

cause I mean what if there's like a twist

like what if it turns out that it's actually good

I know I know

I'm sorry but the trailers look so good

you know I mean

how does that happen especially tonight

it's okay it's not your fault

it's not like you made it or anything

now if you had

this would be a completely different reaction

yeah but of all first date films

this had to be the worst one I could have picked

see I disagree with you there

I think this is the best kind of first date film

it's conversational piece with endless opportunities

and I think we're gonna have a lot more fun talking

shit on this movie than if we actually enjoyed it

it's more memorable now yeah

I guess I can see that well

thanks for letting me off the hook so easily

sure I'm your date

that's my job right

but that just leaves us with one problem though

what's that hello

it's Halloween and I'm not scared

I was supposed to be but I got cheated

we got cheated yeah

and I agree with you it's just

I'm actually good with where my resting

heart rate is right now so um

thank you damn

what else can we do then

something you would do on just a normal night

we can't do normal

not tonight

we could get a pizza and just cover it with pineapple

nice try but I wanna do something a bit more exciting

moon bounce but where would we find one of these

at our house

Stephanie earth to Stephanie

I got it great what is it

oh you're gonna love it oh why do I think I won't

so is this what you locals usually do

with all the new guys in town

just take them out to the middle of nowhere

and try to do whatever it is we're doing

no this is definitely not customary for around here

you can ask anybody about that this doesn't happen

so what are we doing exactly

something scary for Halloween

I told you remember huh you know

I'm starting to think

our ideas of fun are slightly different

I never said fun

fun was implied though

alright

yeah me for a second there

that's a good one oh

that wasn't the one that wasn't even close

this is the one

okay history lesson for you I mean

you can't expect to

become a full fledged member of the community

without knowing some of its colorful past right

and where else could you find such a charming

intelligent beautiful

well first tour guide around this time of evening uh

this this is a murder house hey

history is history

doesn't get to choose if it's a happy ending or not

well yeah

that's true but could we have gone

somewhere with a little more inviting atmosphere

somewhere a little more date friendly

sure but it's Halloween

that's right silly me

well

came all the way out here

so let's hear it no sense of making a wasted trip

so what happened what's the story

I thought you'd never ask

oh wait

have to do this right

my dad insists I be ready for every occasion

improvise campfire

okay go ahead

dig in

so this house here the family who built it

weren't the original owners of the property

no there were people here long before them

who claimed the land was theirs first

they were supposedly a strange group

not very welcome among the people from town at all

said to be sometime during the 50s

I believe

what do you mean strange I don't know

I guess sort of gypsyish or something like that

anyway whatever it is they were into

it wasn't very popular around these parts

so the town got together and forced them off the land

that's when the trouble started

a well to do family by the name of Martin

bought this property and built this house here

not too long afterwards

and everything was fine for a while

until something really odd happened

a scarecrow appeared now

nobody sure who put it here

or what its true purpose was

but if you listen to some of the old stories

about this place

they say it was the original landowners

still living out here in the nearby woods

trying to warn the family to leave

so they could claim what was theirs once again

well Mister Martin didn't spook so easily

once Mister Martin removed the scarecrow

his family members began to get sick

with some sort of consumption type illness

that slowly spread between them all

Martin family was shunned by the rest of the town

and fear they would spread

whatever illness they were inflicted with

this only lasted about a month or two

before one fateful night

the Martins met their gruesome end

at the hands of Mister Martin himself

then after this gruesome act was committed

he carried their bodies outside

and burned them in a mass grave

he had dug for the occasion

and Mr Martin what happened to him

did he get caught yeah

after he killed himself horribly

that's pretty much it

uh

well that's an intense story

uh appropriately creepy

I know right

definitely a good way to cap off Halloween night

so take a bow it's not capped off yet

uh what's that

me just telling you the story isn't scary

oh no

the story is fine scary enough

come on we came all the way out here

you gotta see it see it

see what the scarecrow it's still here

damn it where are they

yeah once the county finished cleaning up Martin's mess

the scarecrow appeared on the property again

as if someone wanted everyone that passed by to see it

like another warning

to anyone who got the bright idea to move out here

again weird huh

so no one's lived here since then

nope not since the Martins

I think these will work nicely

are you totally freaked out

no you're so cute

come on I think it's just up there

holy shit

Steph

Stephanie

hey Jesus

what are you up to Steph

are you sure that nobody lives here

because I swear I saw oh my God yes come on

I saw saw someone up in the window

I know I did there's nobody up there

you're not even looking that's because

I found something a lot more interesting

this is the reason why we're here

it's kind of weird being face to face with it isn't it

knowing this guy is sort of

responsible for the Martin massacre

here he is

after all this time watching over everything

like some sort of guard dog

yeah weird

indefinitely creepy hey

do you want to get out of here

and maybe go do something else

something else

like maybe go someplace where we can be alone

um yeah

that might be a good way to end the night

sounds like the perfect way to finish off the night

but business before pleasure

what we came out here we saw it

what else is there for us to do

we're gonna solve the mystery of course

what we finally get to find out

what's so special about the Scarecrow

why it's here what's its purpose

Stephanie don't

why is it smoky what

it's it's sleeve there's something coming out of it

like smoke or something nice try

you're not gonna get me no

I'm serious yeah

so am I I wanna get this thing off

Jeff

I think this was a person

what

Jeff

help me don't move stay where you are I said stop

no you don't get it do you

you just had to come out here

you just had to you knew the story about this place

but you never stopped

to think about the actual danger of being out here

think about it Steph

put it all together the scarecrow

the Martin family the weird illness

Mr Martin didn't go insane

he knew exactly what he was doing

when he murdered his family like that

and that's not just some old hanging post

it's a cross

a goddamn gigantic cross to keep the thing weakened

Steph

look at me

I said look at me

it's too late I bet you

you're infected the same way the Martians were

I'm sorry

I can't let this spread

this land belongs to us

it's always belonged to us and now you belong to us

Mikey I swear if you hit me with that sword again

I will shove it up your pee hole

sorry Ashley sorry

stop using that voice thing

it's weird okay never

mom we are leaving in 5 minutes

I'm pretty sure Mikey just put the pumpkin

which I told him not to do

and we don't have any candy

so you'll probably want to blow it out

and shut the lights off

what

I can't believe you're using your father's bathroom

it was his was not anymore

I should have moved my stuff in here months ago

and you are not wearing that out tonight

you'll get the wrong kind of attention

you what did you expect

to be a freshman for a year just like you

did you hear me

go as a ghost get a bed sheet or something

something with a little less waste

um no

I like the attention

uh huh

well you're gonna get plenty of that

when you have an AIDS baby

with that Clint scumbag and you end up on Dr Phil

AIDS baby Jesus

Mikey let's go

did you actually have to bring your little brother

to work on your

last night yes

why does he always wear that mask

oh my god

all the time

especially since last Halloween the dad left

so Prince here Hallelujah

oh really

I thought you two were done

well he doesn't exactly know that

but he has something of mine I have to have tonight

he better have it ugh

I hate that whole gift box thing at the end

it's so gross gotta get to work

see you in a bit he has something of mine

bet he has something of yours

God damn it cliff hey baby

how do you know it was me

because I could sense you

where you been all night baby

I know I've been looking for you

did you bring my stuff yeah

baby picked it up right where you said it be

it's all ready

I'm all ready for what I feel you

we can talk about it later while we're fucking right

baby

unless you know you're on your

you can do other types of stuff

Julie's if I don't know you

it's time to get out but still thanks for skating kings

water

what the fuck was that

is that Mikey is that Claire

hey Mikey

heard a lot about you buddy

hey baby

did you just say what the fuck

I think you just said yes

the doors are locked and it's time to get wicked ooh

hey baby

what was that all about what who

don't give me that shit

what guy you were flirting with

that's Pete just some guy

just some guy

what's going on ash

I'll tell you what's going on for you tonight nothing

who's that cowboy

why you want his phone number or something fuck you

Mikey

what are you doing in here

being in here all alone is weird okay

come on don't leave us leave

I'm not going

what do you mean don't leave us Mikey

I just can't with that thing

please put it down

why would you think I'm leaving

oh sorry I'm sorry

hey the fuck is this huh

I can't wait

well she's gonna have to

right baby we're leaving tonight

you're leaving

you're leaving with her

what the fuck yeah Clint

not you her

oh shit Mikey

I'm sorry you'll be fine with mom

I promise she'll she's getting better

Run Mickey Run

take my keys your suitcase is in the back

get my key get out of here

you thought you could just leave

sneak out with your suitcase

like your father was going to do what

and leave me with Mikey

Mikey the monster no

Mike no

Mikey

it's your mother

you love Mommy

things started out as rain throughout the

earlier day today and now it's gotten much colder

we saw freezing rain

just as those trees treaters were hitting the streets

now the snow really starting to pile up

so kids sadly

it looks like Halloween is canceled this year

heavy snow on the way tonight

some spots could see up to 30

maybe even 35 inches by the afternoon

Friday and into Saturday

when this is all set and over with

as this is Halloween has been canceled

this year has not you're such a little turd

nobody likes Halloween

Halloween is the best day of the year

Halloween is stupid

only mad because I'm telling you

guys quit your fighting Ben

you know that this is John's favorite holiday

so quit trying to ruin it for him

just play that game your dad got for you

it's called volumes of blood

it's gruesome fun thanks dad

oh yeah

no problem kiddo anything for you

a trick or treater

good night country

happy Halloween

Christmas is better Halloween is better sis

your kids are loud

I know you'd rather be at your lodge party tonight

but we kind of like having you here and it's fun

like when we were kids on Halloween night

yeah too bad my costume is snowed in at my apartment

I think you look gruesome enough without your costume

Auntie April you kids are brats

hey do you mind if I hop in the sauna

yeah there's towels up there

just watch out for the moving boxes

guys time for bed pronto

you as of right now

you still have school tomorrow

where'd everybody go

back in my day

I would have still gone trick or treating

boys like this one have stopped me

kids these days bunch of

over here

you can use this on it

haha I'm going to bed

you coming yeah

I'll be right up what's that

I found it on the front porch

it looks like

it's a gift from one of our more involved neighbors

a Christmas gift on Halloween night

people will do anything

to ruin the best day of the year

they're just trying to be nice

look it says spread the holiday cheer

you know what would cheer me up

I'm gonna be cashing in all of my birthday coupons

tonight well

only if you keep that uniform on

maybe I'll even let you use that on me

hot dog don't be too long

I'm just gonna go check on April 1st

see you soon Mr Officer

oh my God Katie

you scared me half to death

since when did you become such a scaredy cat

I was just coming up to check on you

well I thought I saw something

shadows sis shadows anyways

thanks for letting me crash here tonight

I hope I didn't bum everyone out

oh we love having you here

you're a big part of the reason why we moved up here

well I'm glad you did

I'm gonna go to bed

love you good night night

what are you doing in my house

candy

I don't have any candy no candy no candy

haha

okay Ben

it's time to go to bed you have school tomorrow

you've been a very good boy this year

just doing dad stuff you know the drill

you're such a weirdo do you know where Katie is

she went to go check on you yeah

she scared the crap out of me in the sauna

for no reason at all well okay good enough

very nice

whatever

Alan what the hell

go to bed this is the last time I'm gonna tell you

I need more good

little kids like you to help spread the holiday cheer

I'm afraid Christmas is being forgotten

all those naughty kids they love their Halloween

but I'm here to change all of that

I'm not going to let Halloween ruin all the good kids

John

Ben

John Ben

Katie

you guys got me good ha

ha ha

Dad John

come down and see me

come down and see where are you

I want to go trick or treating

we can't go trick or treating Halloween is over

no no

no no

no Halloween is never over

what's going on John

trick or treat quit saying that

I don't have any damn candy ah

dear Mom and dad and Auntie April

I've gone to the North Pole to work for Santa

and spread holiday cheer don't be mad

look Ben

PS John went trick or treating with his new friends

all out

manhunt is underway this evening in Lincoln County

to track down convicted serial killer

Samuel Mccroy better known by many as the Sam Slasher

who was convicted last year of murdering six people

and wounded another on Halloween night

police describe Lacroy as criminally insane

with a total lack of remorse for his crimes

and is to be considered armed and dangerous

Sheriff John Higgins

of the Lincoln County Sheriff's Department

released a statement saying

as unstable as Lacroy is

he was very capable in plotting his escape

on a routine transfer from the Arkansas State Hospital

and that it is not a question of will

the suspect kill again but a question of when

the police are also asking that all trick or treating

be supervised by an adult

and that

it is highly recommended that you stay in your homes

and lock your doors after dark

we will continue to update you on the situation

as it occurs throughout the evening

please tell me

if any of your genius friends have any great ideas

like let's have a seance

or let's go to the cemetery and go ghost hunting

that you won't do anything like that

I think

would you look at me when I'm talking to you please

thank you

you know better than to do anything like that anyway

but it's especially important not to do it on Halloween

they call it the Devil's night for a reason

the Devil's night was yesterday daddy

besides I'm just going to Bella's

we're gonna watch some movies

where's your brother

I haven't seen him since he got home from school

I don't know he's probably with those weirdo friends

alright uh

well have fun and please be careful

and if you see your brother

I'll tell him not to be home late okay daddy

Bella I'm off headed to Nancy's

I'll be home early though

there's a storm coming in tonight

cause I'm a werewolf

scared me

look at this

you guys wanna play

seems like fun

sure

spirit are you with us

are you a boy

how old are you

what's your name

I have to go

killer in the crowd

and all the creepy cats are bashing it

uh were you doing that

no I

I thought you were so I just went with it

well that's weird

alright Party's over oh

boom

ha ha

ah

you you sure you don't want me to stick around and

till your mom gets here

no I'm alright

go on and get out of here before it gets bad out there

your darling Mary is begging for salvation

if she spends eternity in torment

take comfort in the fact that she is not alone

her mother is beside her a flame and precious torture

bye daddy

bye sweetie

oh uh

you're still here

oh that's unfortunate

that's all the time I have

for tonight's Halloween Monster Marathon

tune in next time for more features

with more dead creatures

happy Halloween my victims

the killer in the crowd and all the creepy

casual bashing you shit

this hallowed will be the year

tell me baby

what makes you scared