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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,929 --> 00:00:11,011 ♪Translation: astrogirl, shuushuuma & ♪ XQ2☻ 2 00:00:32,251 --> 00:00:35,919 ♪ Life is so sad, 3 00:00:36,396 --> 00:00:41,772 ♪ I have no one to kiss, 4 00:00:42,481 --> 00:00:46,971 ♪ love is not easy, 5 00:00:47,068 --> 00:00:51,195 ♪ but I don't want to miss. 6 00:00:52,643 --> 00:00:56,169 ♪ Out of this world 7 00:00:56,517 --> 00:01:01,808 ♪ I will fly to the moon, 8 00:01:02,799 --> 00:01:06,950 ♪ find me somebody 9 00:01:07,127 --> 00:01:09,537 ♪ to hug and kiss me soon. 10 00:01:09,538 --> 00:01:12,947 {\an6}"Area 51" Secret US Military Base 11 00:01:12,986 --> 00:01:17,416 ♪ Find me somebody 12 00:01:17,485 --> 00:01:24,847 ♪ to hug and kiss me soon. 13 00:01:32,934 --> 00:01:35,066 Was the White House informed? 14 00:01:35,106 --> 00:01:37,904 No, General, the President is campaigning. 15 00:01:37,921 --> 00:01:42,064 This mustn't leak, it would cause global mass-hysteria. 16 00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:44,128 We imposed a news blackout. 17 00:01:44,153 --> 00:01:47,083 What does the Pentagon think is it dangerous? 18 00:01:47,137 --> 00:01:50,437 General, I recommend Defcon 2. 19 00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:03,590 Be careful, Sir. 20 00:02:08,418 --> 00:02:10,317 Oh my God! 21 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,014 Watcha lookin' at? 22 00:02:13,204 --> 00:02:17,954 [ 300 years later ] 23 00:03:04,354 --> 00:03:10,232 Regulator: Once our forefathers came from Earth to colonize Mars. 24 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,093 Today we return to Earth... 25 00:03:13,141 --> 00:03:17,390 to annilihate its wretched inhabitants, once and for all. 26 00:03:17,568 --> 00:03:21,527 Jens, my disciple, our vision has come true. 27 00:03:21,597 --> 00:03:24,504 Earth is now ours. 28 00:03:55,437 --> 00:03:58,846 Queen Metapha, we have no defenses left. 29 00:03:58,909 --> 00:04:01,579 The attack caught us unawares. 30 00:04:01,621 --> 00:04:04,117 Our fleet is destroyed. 31 00:04:04,191 --> 00:04:05,648 How can that be? 32 00:04:05,705 --> 00:04:08,369 They deciphered our shield access codes. 33 00:04:08,447 --> 00:04:12,615 They even monitor local calls. Mars is mobilized. 34 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,757 Majesty, we must capitulate. 35 00:04:15,806 --> 00:04:18,175 No, you can't do that! 36 00:04:19,282 --> 00:04:20,422 Sorry. 37 00:04:20,448 --> 00:04:23,611 The Martians will swarm over us like locusts. 38 00:04:23,637 --> 00:04:25,872 Do you realise their advantage? 39 00:04:25,898 --> 00:04:28,794 We can't just stick our head in the sand! 40 00:04:28,857 --> 00:04:33,531 In two hours the Mars Regulator may be sitting on your throne. 41 00:04:33,557 --> 00:04:36,095 There may be one last chance. 42 00:04:36,268 --> 00:04:37,925 What do you mean? 43 00:04:38,142 --> 00:04:40,125 Time travel. 44 00:04:40,208 --> 00:04:41,869 That's irresponsible! 45 00:04:43,274 --> 00:04:45,300 Time travel is forbidden! 46 00:04:45,357 --> 00:04:47,992 I think we can turn a blind eye. 47 00:04:48,056 --> 00:04:49,837 Please go on, Consul. 48 00:04:50,242 --> 00:04:54,569 We must travel back to prevent the colonization of Mars. 49 00:04:54,644 --> 00:04:57,368 And thus, prevent this war. 50 00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,089 That's absurd! 51 00:04:59,198 --> 00:05:02,820 We don't even know if humans can survive time travel. 52 00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:05,183 We haven't even tested the machine. 53 00:05:05,233 --> 00:05:08,155 And who would take on this task? 54 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:11,228 I was thinking... the crew of the Surprise! 55 00:05:11,298 --> 00:05:13,882 Oh my God! Does it have to be them? 56 00:05:13,927 --> 00:05:17,794 ♪ 'Cause we're so cute and so slick and so slim and so slender 57 00:05:17,844 --> 00:05:21,344 ♪ We'll be Miss Waikiki! 58 00:05:22,636 --> 00:05:26,635 ♪ And shower to the left, And shower to the right. 59 00:05:26,779 --> 00:05:29,404 ♪ And don't forget the soap! 60 00:05:29,468 --> 00:05:30,864 ♪ One more time? 61 00:05:30,918 --> 00:05:34,999 ♪ And five, six, seven, eight Five, six, seven, eight 62 00:05:35,267 --> 00:05:39,001 ♪ And touch and push, And touch and push. 63 00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:43,156 ♪ And towel to the left, And towel to the right. 64 00:05:43,406 --> 00:05:45,735 ♪ And don't forget the willy! 65 00:05:45,806 --> 00:05:48,975 ♪ Dry the willy to the beat. 66 00:05:52,733 --> 00:05:54,578 You can't be serious! 67 00:05:54,674 --> 00:05:57,825 We have no choice. They're our last hope. 68 00:05:57,951 --> 00:06:00,380 Or do we have any volunteers? 69 00:06:01,346 --> 00:06:05,243 Do you mean to say that the salvation of the world... 70 00:06:05,269 --> 00:06:07,401 depends on this... "crew"? 71 00:06:07,473 --> 00:06:10,089 If you ask me Senator Eric... 72 00:06:10,185 --> 00:06:11,757 Yeah! 73 00:06:12,553 --> 00:06:15,460 We have no idea where the Surprise is. 74 00:06:15,507 --> 00:06:18,007 We haven't heard from them in years. 75 00:06:18,035 --> 00:06:20,661 Then we must find them. 76 00:07:00,597 --> 00:07:02,659 There they are! 77 00:07:04,028 --> 00:07:06,568 How'd they get so far off course? 78 00:07:06,656 --> 00:07:08,279 Hail them, right away! 79 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:12,097 - They're in the asshole of the world! - Is it any wonder? 80 00:07:20,985 --> 00:07:24,906 Computer log No. 1 Dreamship Surprise, Captain Cork. 81 00:07:24,989 --> 00:07:27,351 It's way too chilly for this stardate. 82 00:07:27,450 --> 00:07:29,669 My 40 man crew is in good shape. 83 00:07:29,723 --> 00:07:33,974 Only two have the sniffles. Guenther is blackboard monitor this week. 84 00:07:34,056 --> 00:07:37,622 We might run out of stamps, in five months. 85 00:07:37,682 --> 00:07:40,814 We must do something about that. But, not yet. 86 00:07:40,870 --> 00:07:44,688 Today we have our obligatory health check for the summer holidays. 87 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,639 I like having my temperature taken. 88 00:07:46,695 --> 00:07:49,459 If it goes well, I'll have a nice schnitzel 89 00:07:49,492 --> 00:07:52,446 with fries and ketchup, a small mixed salad 90 00:07:52,495 --> 00:07:55,785 and to drink, a large *Spezi. (cola & orange soda) 91 00:08:00,486 --> 00:08:02,423 Same drudgery every year! 92 00:08:02,521 --> 00:08:05,642 Mr. Spook, in 2 weeks it's bathing season in Honolulu! 93 00:08:05,668 --> 00:08:09,392 You need a flawless figure if you want to be Miss Waikiki! 94 00:08:09,418 --> 00:08:13,834 - But it's hard on my intervertebral discs. - Since when do Vulcanettes have those? 95 00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:17,929 - None of your business, you cow! - He's not even a purebred Vulcanette. 96 00:08:17,979 --> 00:08:21,273 - I am so! - No, you're a mutt! 97 00:08:21,978 --> 00:08:23,631 I am a Vulcanette Vulgaris. 98 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:27,850 We can live 400 years because we evolved from Galapagos turtle! 99 00:08:27,876 --> 00:08:30,201 - And what are you? - I'm the captain. 100 00:08:30,227 --> 00:08:33,253 - You screwed your way to the top! - What's wrong with that? 101 00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:36,045 Galapagos turtle! That's why your ass is so slow! 102 00:08:36,077 --> 00:08:38,571 And you have a baboon's ass! 103 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,051 My, oh my! 104 00:08:40,323 --> 00:08:41,520 - Well? - Well? - Well? 105 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:44,759 Your check-ups are, as usual, catastrophic. 106 00:08:46,165 --> 00:08:48,943 Dr. Moans speaking. What gives? 107 00:08:49,001 --> 00:08:52,033 Hm... Earth wants to speak to the captain. 108 00:08:52,081 --> 00:08:53,750 - I'm not here. - He's not here. 109 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:57,100 Mr. No-zey should put the answering machine on. 110 00:08:57,202 --> 00:09:02,170 Hear that?... Moans out... Let's go! Get ready for the weightlessness test. 111 00:09:02,201 --> 00:09:03,741 - Eugh! - Yeah! 112 00:09:04,547 --> 00:09:08,412 We're having difficulties contacting the Surprise. 113 00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:10,473 But you have their coordinates! 114 00:09:10,498 --> 00:09:13,738 Sure, but, all we get is the answering machine. 115 00:09:13,769 --> 00:09:14,947 - What? - What? - What? 116 00:09:15,027 --> 00:09:18,707 We can reach them Monday to Friday from 4 to 5 pm. 117 00:09:18,748 --> 00:09:22,756 Get that crew down here, our time's running out! 118 00:09:22,894 --> 00:09:24,337 Yes, Sir! 119 00:09:24,937 --> 00:09:27,257 What could they be doing up there? 120 00:09:27,331 --> 00:09:30,676 - Nose picking and ball swinging! - Nose picking and ball swinging! 121 00:09:30,702 --> 00:09:34,466 Starting today it's push ups and knee bends. 122 00:09:34,539 --> 00:09:36,371 - He could do some himself. - M-hm! 123 00:09:36,478 --> 00:09:39,173 Weightlessness test is now running! 124 00:09:40,068 --> 00:09:43,896 ♪ Schönen guten Tag ich denk an Liebe 125 00:09:44,481 --> 00:09:46,098 ♪ Schönen guten Tag ich... 126 00:09:46,224 --> 00:09:49,786 Nothing... Those asses just won't move. 127 00:09:49,896 --> 00:09:51,935 ♪ Schönen guten Tag... 128 00:09:52,644 --> 00:09:55,769 Oh my, what do we have here? 129 00:09:56,261 --> 00:10:01,160 Better stick this somewhere safe before the captain snaps it up. 130 00:10:09,125 --> 00:10:13,390 - Captain, why aren't we weightless? - Dr. Moans, why aren't we weightless? 131 00:10:13,458 --> 00:10:18,315 It's all the cheesecake and chocolates! You're too fat to float! 132 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,910 I used to float on a team! 133 00:10:21,025 --> 00:10:23,695 I was the youngest in the floating marathon. 134 00:10:23,776 --> 00:10:26,459 At 12 I got my freestyle floating, badge 135 00:10:26,485 --> 00:10:28,297 at 14 I won the Gold Floating Star 136 00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:31,092 at the national youth floating competition in Swabia! 137 00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,632 Stop your tooting! 138 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:35,161 I am Hermes, messenger of the Gods. 139 00:10:35,188 --> 00:10:37,071 Adieu! 140 00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:39,725 You know he has cellulitis? 141 00:10:39,781 --> 00:10:41,873 - Eh, where? - In his quarters. 142 00:10:41,963 --> 00:10:44,900 Hold on, it'll work, now. 143 00:10:47,798 --> 00:10:50,628 Yeah, I'm floating! 144 00:10:51,091 --> 00:10:55,070 Mr. Spook, come on up, it's lovely up here! 145 00:11:01,774 --> 00:11:05,081 - It's no go. - No go; full blast, Moans! 146 00:11:05,154 --> 00:11:07,506 - Is that all you got? - Yeah, really, eh! 147 00:11:07,555 --> 00:11:11,187 Forget it, I can't lift that fat Vulcanette. 148 00:11:18,172 --> 00:11:19,791 Hey, what's that? 149 00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:22,760 The nerve of some people! 150 00:11:24,254 --> 00:11:27,215 - What's going on? - Yeah, really! 151 00:11:30,711 --> 00:11:33,421 - Hi! - That's mine. 152 00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:38,252 - Who left his roller skates here? - That one. 153 00:11:38,334 --> 00:11:39,788 Miss Bora-Bora! 154 00:11:39,854 --> 00:11:43,410 Next time, no cheesecake for a week. And spit out your gum. 155 00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:45,247 Mr. No-zey, sit-rep? 156 00:11:45,309 --> 00:11:48,393 Ah, Captain, no offence but I have no idea what you guys are doing there (Mandarin) 157 00:11:48,418 --> 00:11:50,940 Wo gan ji bian you ren zai wode wei si Yu youngle wan wode wang ji 158 00:11:51,026 --> 00:11:53,494 wode wang ji jiu shi wode gong ji wode su ban ye bu ji le 159 00:11:53,557 --> 00:11:54,530 Nǐ nei shì wǒ yi qì dé 160 00:11:54,555 --> 00:11:56,273 Hái dì rúguǒ nǐ yě zhèyàng huái hua if you curse like that 161 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,186 Wǒ jiù huì fēicháng shēngqìle I will be very angry 162 00:11:58,212 --> 00:12:01,211 Mr. Spook, did you understand what Mr. No-zey said? 163 00:12:01,294 --> 00:12:03,798 Bora Bora stuck her tongue out at me. 164 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:06,347 OK, No-zey, that's no reason for alarm! 165 00:12:06,436 --> 00:12:08,786 Ah, Captain, somethink's odd, 166 00:12:08,918 --> 00:12:12,845 someone's tryink to send an emergency signal. 167 00:12:12,955 --> 00:12:14,610 But it's really faint. 168 00:12:14,705 --> 00:12:17,504 Emergency signal? Who'd do such a thing? 169 00:12:17,578 --> 00:12:20,297 - Captain? - Careful, not too close! 170 00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:25,003 The automatic control system shows a low slip-factor. 171 00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:31,408 They're modulating powerful pulse vibrations to get through to us. 172 00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:33,569 Yeah, so? 173 00:12:33,634 --> 00:12:36,019 Shall I let them through? 174 00:12:36,171 --> 00:12:38,721 Never! We can't let that happen! 175 00:12:39,363 --> 00:12:42,208 Wuss-speed! 176 00:12:46,755 --> 00:12:49,198 Wuss-speed! 177 00:12:49,528 --> 00:12:54,417 Ah, Captain, with respect, using Wuss-speed's kinda dumb. 178 00:12:54,510 --> 00:12:56,940 - Why? - The Wussy's broken. 179 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,583 - Good; quitting time! - Captain? 180 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:00,935 What now? 181 00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:03,013 I don't know what it is... 182 00:13:03,068 --> 00:13:05,396 but it's coming directly at us. 183 00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:10,549 Oh, it's insane, so much stress! 184 00:13:12,387 --> 00:13:14,441 - Read it. - Yeah. 185 00:13:17,857 --> 00:13:19,740 Red alert?! 186 00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,918 "Set course for Earth immediately." 187 00:13:21,943 --> 00:13:24,330 "Report promptly to the leadership." 188 00:13:24,363 --> 00:13:28,284 Nix that! We'll stick to training for the Miss Waikiki contest. 189 00:13:28,330 --> 00:13:31,289 We must set priorities, right Mr. Spook? 190 00:13:33,174 --> 00:13:35,677 - Ah, Captain? - What gives, Popovich? 191 00:13:35,744 --> 00:13:39,973 Disobeyink an order can get your shore leave cancelled. 192 00:13:43,963 --> 00:13:46,878 Majesty, we got a response from the Surprise. 193 00:13:46,924 --> 00:13:48,781 Finally. What do they say? 194 00:13:48,808 --> 00:13:51,607 "Need anything from the Gas 'n Go?" 195 00:13:51,708 --> 00:13:55,668 - What do they mean by 'Gas 'n Go'? - Perhaps it's in code. 196 00:13:55,966 --> 00:13:58,909 When will they get here? We have less than an hour! 197 00:13:58,995 --> 00:14:02,083 On Wuss-speed it'd take 20 minutes, Sir. 198 00:14:02,130 --> 00:14:03,836 But there's a problem. 199 00:14:03,948 --> 00:14:07,193 - What problem? - They've got Wussy problems. 200 00:14:07,549 --> 00:14:12,342 I understand. I've had treatments for it myself. 201 00:14:15,836 --> 00:14:17,759 I hope they don't try to beam. 202 00:14:17,844 --> 00:14:20,483 At that distance they wouldn't survive. 203 00:14:20,550 --> 00:14:22,313 Prepare to beam! 204 00:14:22,396 --> 00:14:23,991 - Activate! - Activate! 205 00:14:24,050 --> 00:14:28,216 To beam or not to beam the light will show you the spot! 206 00:14:42,288 --> 00:14:43,935 Shoo! 207 00:14:44,990 --> 00:14:47,630 - Snotty, are you crazy? - Mutiny! 208 00:14:47,685 --> 00:14:51,380 - In Honolulu you'll sleep in a single room! - Yeah, really! 209 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,654 It happens on Economy beaming. 210 00:14:53,708 --> 00:14:58,136 Economy?! Are you nuts? I'm the captain! Beam me Business class! 211 00:14:58,234 --> 00:15:00,803 For Business, the battery's too weak. 212 00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:03,666 Silly cow probably left the lights on again. 213 00:15:03,691 --> 00:15:05,763 Shh, here he is. 214 00:15:08,384 --> 00:15:10,469 Aha! Out with it. 215 00:15:15,077 --> 00:15:18,205 - What is that? - Friendship rings. 216 00:15:18,287 --> 00:15:22,411 From a D.A. I befriended. And I'll say no more. 217 00:15:26,401 --> 00:15:27,402 Hey! 218 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,526 What do we have in our pants? 219 00:15:29,551 --> 00:15:32,124 - None of your business. - Pants down. 220 00:15:32,150 --> 00:15:34,712 - PANTS DOWN! - Yea-hah! 221 00:15:40,386 --> 00:15:43,103 - Radiation protection. - What for? 222 00:15:43,212 --> 00:15:47,517 - Beaming always gets on my balls. - Captain, I can't work like this! 223 00:15:47,566 --> 00:15:50,323 Fine, YOU pay for the taxi! 224 00:15:55,428 --> 00:15:57,395 What have you to report? 225 00:15:57,543 --> 00:15:59,365 Hang on to your hair, Regulator! 226 00:15:59,434 --> 00:16:02,137 Madam Metapha has a crazy bombastic plan! 227 00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:03,528 The plan is... 228 00:16:04,636 --> 00:16:06,056 The Plan is... 229 00:16:06,673 --> 00:16:07,736 the plan... 230 00:16:07,761 --> 00:16:09,634 OK, forgot plan. 231 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,909 Sorry, Regulator-man! Listen... 232 00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:16,803 I write information on paper and call you back later. Ok? 233 00:16:16,903 --> 00:16:19,505 Walkie talkie, man! 234 00:16:20,835 --> 00:16:25,320 What was that? Since when do amateurs work for my empire? 235 00:16:25,596 --> 00:16:29,679 My Regulator, he was on special offer at Rent-a-Spy. 236 00:16:29,764 --> 00:16:32,121 We got this free cactus, too. 237 00:16:32,183 --> 00:16:34,497 I can send the spy back. 238 00:16:34,551 --> 00:16:37,088 Do that. But keep the cactus. 239 00:16:37,174 --> 00:16:38,575 Yes, master. 240 00:16:38,638 --> 00:16:41,940 Jens, my disciple, I have a mission for you. 241 00:16:42,036 --> 00:16:43,294 What? 242 00:16:43,365 --> 00:16:46,779 Find out what those Earth-worms are planning, 243 00:16:46,804 --> 00:16:48,955 so I can finally crush them. 244 00:16:49,015 --> 00:16:51,793 Ah, crushing is good! 245 00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:58,889 Donate for our ship's beautification. Donate for our ship's beautification. 246 00:16:58,972 --> 00:17:02,099 Donate for our ship's beautification. 247 00:17:02,390 --> 00:17:06,391 - Donate for our ship's beautification! - Alright, already! 248 00:17:06,451 --> 00:17:09,087 Give her something. 249 00:17:09,769 --> 00:17:13,603 Thanks. Save the whales! Find Nemo! 250 00:17:13,662 --> 00:17:15,764 - Got your passport? - Sure. 251 00:17:15,810 --> 00:17:19,223 - Closed the window? - Yeah, I even pulled the shades. 252 00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:23,022 I told you not to do that. Everyone'll know we're not home! 253 00:17:23,061 --> 00:17:24,903 - Still arguing? - Go away. 254 00:17:24,964 --> 00:17:28,547 - There's something on you head. - It's my travelling hat. 255 00:17:28,641 --> 00:17:33,076 - Why do you need a travelling hat? - If I'm paying the taxi, I'm coming too. 256 00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,269 And what's that? 257 00:17:34,308 --> 00:17:37,655 Jutta, my reading lamp. It saved my life once. 258 00:17:38,545 --> 00:17:41,904 Oh god, what a clunker! 259 00:17:41,966 --> 00:17:44,958 - Always on the cheap, hm? - 'I' like it. 260 00:18:29,990 --> 00:18:31,661 Did you order a taxi? 261 00:18:31,724 --> 00:18:34,269 I did. Me. It was all my idea! 262 00:18:34,306 --> 00:18:36,972 OK, which of you boys wanna ride in the rear? 263 00:18:37,005 --> 00:18:38,210 - Me! - Me! - Me! 264 00:18:38,271 --> 00:18:40,479 I want the window! 265 00:18:47,738 --> 00:18:50,279 - Say, are you flushed? - What? 266 00:18:50,458 --> 00:18:53,035 - You got the hots for him. - No, I don't. 267 00:18:53,060 --> 00:18:56,184 - Oh, let him flirt a little. - Shut up and look out the window. 268 00:18:56,268 --> 00:19:00,018 - So, where to? - Earth. City of Government. 269 00:19:00,062 --> 00:19:02,919 - Oops, that'll be the higher tariff! - Why? 270 00:19:02,982 --> 00:19:07,109 Right now, it's easier to do laser eye surgery in an earthquake 271 00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:09,146 than to get there in one piece. 272 00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:11,880 There's constant heavy artillery bombardment. 273 00:19:11,927 --> 00:19:14,310 Oh, yeah, parachutes and life vests 274 00:19:14,382 --> 00:19:16,500 are somewhere under your seats. 275 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,357 Maybe we should get out. 276 00:19:18,435 --> 00:19:20,958 He's exaggerating his own importance. 277 00:19:21,018 --> 00:19:22,727 No problem, fly on. 278 00:19:22,789 --> 00:19:25,047 I'm expected by the leadership. 279 00:19:25,133 --> 00:19:28,123 My name is Captain Cork; Capricorn. 280 00:19:28,186 --> 00:19:30,841 And I'm Hermes, Messenger of the Gods. 281 00:19:30,872 --> 00:19:32,568 And what is your name? 282 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:36,208 - My name's Rock. - Soft or Hard Rock? (Kuschel) 283 00:19:58,795 --> 00:20:00,818 Hold on tight, we're off! 284 00:20:03,967 --> 00:20:05,844 - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! 285 00:20:17,124 --> 00:20:21,591 OK, ladies, you can now buy duty-free. Music, anyone? 286 00:20:21,755 --> 00:20:23,229 - 'Course! - 'Course! - 'Course! 287 00:20:23,318 --> 00:20:25,818 ♪ High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 288 00:20:27,676 --> 00:20:30,700 ♪ Space-Taxi to the sky. 289 00:20:32,038 --> 00:20:34,671 ♪ High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 290 00:20:36,272 --> 00:20:39,460 ♪ Space-Taxi to the sky. 291 00:20:39,730 --> 00:20:40,770 Come on. 292 00:20:40,814 --> 00:20:42,646 ♪ Fire salamander (So hot!) 293 00:20:42,730 --> 00:20:44,771 ♪ Spread your legs wider (Check it out!) 294 00:20:44,855 --> 00:20:48,790 ♪ Now close your legs again And out you go! 295 00:20:49,564 --> 00:20:51,731 ♪ High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 296 00:20:55,391 --> 00:20:57,365 ♪ ... to the sky. 297 00:20:58,481 --> 00:20:59,979 ♪ High, High... 298 00:21:02,482 --> 00:21:04,480 What's the commotion? 299 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,322 OK, girls, party's over. 300 00:21:10,816 --> 00:21:14,722 I'll report that old sow! Snotty, get the number! 301 00:21:20,899 --> 00:21:22,893 Anyone got an ink eraser? 302 00:21:23,026 --> 00:21:26,151 Why did I take it to the carwash yesterday? 303 00:21:33,936 --> 00:21:35,688 Aah, stop it, now! 304 00:21:35,782 --> 00:21:38,588 I'm getting stress acne! 305 00:21:59,358 --> 00:22:03,044 Blow slowly, girls, or you'll get dizzy. 306 00:22:07,962 --> 00:22:09,984 OK, now we have a real problem. 307 00:22:10,009 --> 00:22:13,415 This is your captain speaking. Don't be alarmed at the shaking. 308 00:22:13,443 --> 00:22:18,246 We lost our shields, one thruster's down and the plasma tank is leaking. 309 00:22:18,339 --> 00:22:21,793 I noticed that, too. Your taxi's generally in poor sh.... 310 00:22:21,817 --> 00:22:23,733 Sit down, man! 311 00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:31,025 At the roundabout, take a sharp 'retch' 312 00:22:44,455 --> 00:22:46,802 You are approaching the exit. 313 00:22:46,827 --> 00:22:48,536 - Thank God! - Thank God! - Thank God! 314 00:22:51,372 --> 00:22:54,565 In 500 metres, turn right. 315 00:22:54,627 --> 00:22:56,526 Now's a bad time! 316 00:22:57,232 --> 00:23:00,357 We shoulda turned right! 317 00:23:16,115 --> 00:23:18,826 C'mon, baby, don't leave me hanging! 318 00:23:37,474 --> 00:23:39,091 Aahh! 319 00:23:45,730 --> 00:23:49,980 - Could you cut the air conditioner? - Could you shut your yap? 320 00:23:51,746 --> 00:23:55,238 If possible, please turn back. - Good idea. 321 00:23:58,861 --> 00:24:00,946 Please wait. 322 00:24:01,571 --> 00:24:04,488 Please hold the line. 323 00:24:14,518 --> 00:24:15,880 Aah! 324 00:24:17,326 --> 00:24:19,209 Aaahh! 325 00:24:22,854 --> 00:24:25,821 You are nearing your destination. 326 00:24:27,433 --> 00:24:30,447 Insalata mista, baby! (Mixed salad) 327 00:24:38,737 --> 00:24:42,904 Don't be foolish. Your city is surrounded. 328 00:24:42,988 --> 00:24:47,155 My Combat-cakes squadron will be operational in a few minutes. 329 00:24:47,238 --> 00:24:51,572 If you haven't signed the unconditional surrender by then 330 00:24:51,688 --> 00:24:55,125 I will annihilate you for all time. 331 00:24:55,603 --> 00:24:59,714 It's futile. We must capitulate while we still have the chance. 332 00:24:59,746 --> 00:25:04,549 You're right, we can't wait any longer for the crew of the Surprise. 333 00:25:14,347 --> 00:25:15,998 That must be them! 334 00:25:16,363 --> 00:25:19,309 Hiya! Is the cheesecake ready? 335 00:25:20,898 --> 00:25:23,482 Inform the Queen, at once! 336 00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:30,125 It was in style, then. 337 00:25:30,743 --> 00:25:32,766 - I can't read that. - Rock. 338 00:25:32,854 --> 00:25:35,436 - Rock what? - Rock Stone-Doud 339 00:25:35,461 --> 00:25:36,985 Why Stoned-Out? 340 00:25:37,048 --> 00:25:41,574 My ex-wife's Stone. I'm Doud: Rock Stone-Doud, that's all. 341 00:25:45,575 --> 00:25:50,032 Thank you, Mr. Stoned-Out. You've done a great service. 342 00:25:50,123 --> 00:25:53,290 Wait a moment, man! Who'll pay for my damages? 343 00:25:53,343 --> 00:25:57,426 - A lick of paint, it'll be like new. - Yeah, Pink Camouflage! 344 00:25:57,532 --> 00:26:01,910 What?! That's a 45 Space Cruiser, lowrider with carbon hydrants, 345 00:26:01,935 --> 00:26:04,422 and trace elements of Burmese titanium! 346 00:26:04,447 --> 00:26:08,300 It accelerates to twice light-speed in less than 1.5 seconds! 347 00:26:08,325 --> 00:26:12,188 Such a machine cannot be painted, Pink Camouflage! 348 00:26:12,213 --> 00:26:15,359 Be reasonable, Mr. Stoned-Out. 349 00:26:15,523 --> 00:26:17,349 We have other problems. 350 00:26:17,374 --> 00:26:20,294 Oh, yeah? Your problems don't interest me! 351 00:26:20,341 --> 00:26:24,172 All I know is my taxi's turned into a goddam scrap-heap 352 00:26:24,197 --> 00:26:26,928 just to bring you these three bar-sluts! 353 00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:29,289 Oh! I bet he's so, tiny. 354 00:26:29,338 --> 00:26:33,747 OK, it's so simple: you boys pay for my damages and I'm outta here. 355 00:26:33,828 --> 00:26:35,266 Until then... 356 00:26:35,357 --> 00:26:38,232 I'll sit right here, on this chair. 357 00:26:39,694 --> 00:26:43,747 I dunno about you, but I could use a coffee, now. 358 00:27:08,638 --> 00:27:10,138 ♪ Right now 359 00:27:11,373 --> 00:27:13,560 ♪ I wanna tell you something 360 00:27:13,670 --> 00:27:17,170 ♪ It's that my love is so strong for you, baby 361 00:27:18,691 --> 00:27:19,902 ♪ Yeah! 362 00:27:21,145 --> 00:27:24,168 ♪ I wanna make love to you 363 00:27:24,833 --> 00:27:27,974 ♪ I want you to want me to 364 00:27:28,786 --> 00:27:31,585 ♪ Come on, let's get it on 365 00:27:32,310 --> 00:27:35,240 ♪ Let's make a baby 366 00:27:36,256 --> 00:27:39,411 ♪ I don't wanna tell no lie 367 00:27:39,832 --> 00:27:42,756 ♪ I'm here for you to satisfy 368 00:27:43,553 --> 00:27:46,756 ♪ So then let's get it on 369 00:27:47,435 --> 00:27:53,248 ♪ Come on and let's make a baby tonight 370 00:27:54,976 --> 00:27:57,945 ♪ Let's make a baby 371 00:27:59,156 --> 00:28:00,976 ♪ tonight 372 00:28:02,036 --> 00:28:04,954 - Chocolate? - Nooo! 373 00:28:11,538 --> 00:28:16,956 - "The Manly Chocolate from Rosetto". - "The brand with the Rosetto-Moor". 374 00:28:17,204 --> 00:28:19,078 I'm... 375 00:28:19,214 --> 00:28:21,739 not yet ready. 376 00:28:23,412 --> 00:28:27,579 - Who is that? - A taxi driver, whom we owe money. 377 00:28:28,598 --> 00:28:30,450 Our speaker, now, is the... 378 00:28:30,513 --> 00:28:34,678 Chairman of Earth's Intercontinental Security Council. 379 00:28:39,996 --> 00:28:41,618 Majesty... 380 00:28:41,930 --> 00:28:44,485 esteemed Senators, 381 00:28:45,086 --> 00:28:51,045 300 years ago, on July 22, 2004 at 17:35 pm, 382 00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:54,326 a UFO crashed in the Nevada desert. 383 00:28:54,521 --> 00:28:59,290 In this UFO, scientists found information from a galaxy far, far away. 384 00:28:59,372 --> 00:29:03,362 That knowledge enabled mankind to colonize Mars. 385 00:29:03,471 --> 00:29:08,401 We could prevent the colonization of Mars and thus, this war, 386 00:29:08,495 --> 00:29:11,438 by travelling to the year 2004 387 00:29:11,719 --> 00:29:14,548 and destroying the UFO. 388 00:29:17,204 --> 00:29:20,279 But how can the UFO be fully destroyed? 389 00:29:20,343 --> 00:29:23,068 With this Swiss Army pocket-laser! 390 00:29:23,130 --> 00:29:24,161 Excuse me, 391 00:29:24,224 --> 00:29:26,591 what do you do for fun, here evenings? 392 00:29:26,646 --> 00:29:27,716 Captain? 393 00:29:27,755 --> 00:29:31,393 Yeah, right, absolutely! That's how I'd do it. - Good. 394 00:29:31,528 --> 00:29:34,870 Then, you'll carry out this mission. - What?! 395 00:29:34,971 --> 00:29:38,098 - This oughta be good! - Us? No way! - No way! 396 00:29:38,213 --> 00:29:41,284 - Totally impossible! - We don't have the time. 397 00:29:41,419 --> 00:29:44,310 We must prepare for the Miss Waikiki contest. 398 00:29:44,394 --> 00:29:49,231 If you refuse this mission, there won't be a Miss Waikiki contest, ever! 399 00:29:49,601 --> 00:29:51,896 Bring on the time machine! 400 00:30:09,523 --> 00:30:13,691 - Snotty, Spook, follow me. - I want the window seat. 401 00:30:13,774 --> 00:30:18,247 Shouldn't we tell them the machine hasn't been tested? - Shh, tsk, tsk... 402 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:25,346 Captain... you are our last hope. 403 00:30:25,768 --> 00:30:28,692 Last hope?! I'd rather send a monkey. 404 00:30:28,845 --> 00:30:30,770 SPCA wouldn't let us. 405 00:30:30,926 --> 00:30:35,672 Put on these goggles. Time travel is hard on the eyes. 406 00:30:36,901 --> 00:30:39,732 The ignition key activates the machine. 407 00:30:39,928 --> 00:30:43,942 Input your coordinates to set time and place. 408 00:30:44,020 --> 00:30:46,426 Stop it or we'll leave you here! 409 00:30:46,491 --> 00:30:49,904 Confirm your inputs with the green knob. 410 00:30:56,175 --> 00:31:00,342 This button activates the countdown. The rest is in this book. 411 00:31:00,425 --> 00:31:05,419 If you lose this, you'll never get back. And please don't waste energy. 412 00:31:06,050 --> 00:31:10,301 - The user-manual! - Snotty, we can't take you anywhere! 413 00:31:10,384 --> 00:31:12,469 I'll get it quick! 414 00:31:15,052 --> 00:31:18,754 Sir Mars Regulator is attacking with his whole Combat-cake squadron. 415 00:31:18,779 --> 00:31:20,105 All exits are blocked! 416 00:31:20,130 --> 00:31:22,862 - We must get you to a safe place. - But I can't leave... 417 00:31:22,917 --> 00:31:25,339 No choice. Get on the time machine! 418 00:31:29,677 --> 00:31:32,802 I'm staying here until you pay for my damages! 419 00:31:33,849 --> 00:31:35,865 - Senator! - Majesty? 420 00:31:35,927 --> 00:31:38,122 There's something you should know. 421 00:31:38,154 --> 00:31:39,857 What is it? 422 00:31:41,335 --> 00:31:43,568 I forgot my bra. 423 00:31:46,164 --> 00:31:49,355 - Here. Take mine. - Thank you! 424 00:31:50,348 --> 00:31:51,700 It's okay. 425 00:31:52,213 --> 00:31:54,727 Press the start button! 426 00:31:55,340 --> 00:31:57,164 I got it! 427 00:32:00,628 --> 00:32:02,540 Snotty, get over here! 428 00:32:06,420 --> 00:32:08,720 Think I'll find a better place to sit. 429 00:32:18,303 --> 00:32:20,146 Yay, here we go! 430 00:32:21,061 --> 00:32:22,405 Snotty! 431 00:32:24,152 --> 00:32:27,902 That will have bitter consequences! - Aww! 432 00:32:28,170 --> 00:32:31,006 - What are you doing here? - I wonder, too. 433 00:32:31,031 --> 00:32:33,908 - You're screwing everything up! - I wish! 434 00:32:33,925 --> 00:32:37,023 - Is the seat warmer on? - No, I was just sitting there. 435 00:32:37,048 --> 00:32:40,832 Mr. Snotty's sneaking off! Definitely a single room, in Honolulu! 436 00:32:40,941 --> 00:32:43,858 Hold tight, people. Goggles on! 437 00:33:19,553 --> 00:33:23,054 - So glad to see you, Lord Maul. - Slime ball! 438 00:33:23,128 --> 00:33:24,146 What's that? 439 00:33:24,171 --> 00:33:28,288 "The Manly Bitter-Chocolate from Rosetto. The brand with the Rosetto-Moor." 440 00:33:28,313 --> 00:33:30,390 - Thank you. Kick off! - Yessir. 441 00:33:33,947 --> 00:33:37,780 The Earth Alliance Government Building was successfully taken over. - Excellent. 442 00:33:37,805 --> 00:33:41,450 All politicians are locked in the utility room. - Extraordinary! 443 00:33:41,490 --> 00:33:44,523 But Queen Metapha escaped in the time machine. 444 00:33:44,548 --> 00:33:47,205 What? You should be more vigilant, asshole! 445 00:33:47,244 --> 00:33:48,804 Yes, certainly. 446 00:33:49,030 --> 00:33:53,040 But we were able to seize the time machine's manual. 447 00:33:53,637 --> 00:33:55,163 Goooood! 448 00:33:56,740 --> 00:33:59,694 I'm going to make a phone call. 449 00:34:17,182 --> 00:34:18,849 Wow! 450 00:34:19,058 --> 00:34:22,808 - The time machine works! - Unbelievable! 451 00:34:23,300 --> 00:34:27,208 - Now we can... - Prevent my wedding! - What? 452 00:34:27,232 --> 00:34:29,415 We could go to an Elvis concert! 453 00:34:29,433 --> 00:34:32,990 The world is on the brink of disaster and you think of Elvis? 454 00:34:33,001 --> 00:34:35,194 Oh, I was just dreaming of football. 455 00:34:35,300 --> 00:34:37,043 I dreamed I was a pastry chef 456 00:34:37,076 --> 00:34:39,816 and I moulded a man-on-man defender out of marzipan. 457 00:34:39,842 --> 00:34:41,959 Then, I stuck a lucky penny on him 458 00:34:41,984 --> 00:34:45,067 and put him next to the tarts in the shop window. 459 00:34:55,577 --> 00:34:58,888 - What country did you input? - I didn't input anything. 460 00:34:58,913 --> 00:35:01,567 Captain, get up. Look, a pony! 461 00:35:01,747 --> 00:35:03,313 Where are we? 462 00:35:03,362 --> 00:35:05,528 We're in a petting zoo! 463 00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:10,639 Dammit! 464 00:35:10,792 --> 00:35:13,823 Oh my, rowdies everywhere! 465 00:35:15,089 --> 00:35:17,388 22nd of July, 1304. 466 00:35:17,857 --> 00:35:19,550 Yeah, right... close. 467 00:35:28,939 --> 00:35:33,001 - That was some fine navigating! - I didn't do anything at all. 468 00:35:33,074 --> 00:35:35,931 Then, it's time you did. 469 00:35:38,247 --> 00:35:42,616 Keep calm, Princess. We'll soon be on our way. 470 00:35:58,969 --> 00:36:00,386 My dear Romans, 471 00:36:00,472 --> 00:36:03,849 we came from the future to save the world! 472 00:36:03,979 --> 00:36:06,732 Come on, Spooky, take a photo. 473 00:36:10,346 --> 00:36:13,344 Say cheeeeeese cake! 474 00:36:14,278 --> 00:36:16,779 Sorcery! Get them! 475 00:36:25,813 --> 00:36:27,881 I'm outta here! 476 00:37:24,074 --> 00:37:25,558 Not good! 477 00:37:44,610 --> 00:37:45,963 Who is he? 478 00:37:46,096 --> 00:37:47,448 - Who? - Him! 479 00:37:47,549 --> 00:37:49,963 Ah, I see. WHO IS HE? 480 00:37:50,516 --> 00:37:53,383 Speak, you mangy son of a bitch! 481 00:37:54,839 --> 00:37:57,087 What did you do to the woman? 482 00:37:57,149 --> 00:38:00,362 Tell me, is he of noble lineage? 483 00:38:02,907 --> 00:38:06,618 My name is Til Schweiger, I work as an actor to earn money. 484 00:38:06,661 --> 00:38:10,221 Not much, just enough for a 2 week vacation each year. 485 00:38:10,276 --> 00:38:13,907 What do YOU do all day, throne farter? 486 00:38:15,192 --> 00:38:16,840 My Lord, he's lying. 487 00:38:16,965 --> 00:38:19,381 This man is certainly no actor. 488 00:38:19,566 --> 00:38:21,150 But he has guts. 489 00:38:21,290 --> 00:38:23,965 I'm told he's a superb fighter. 490 00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,305 There's an important tournament tomorrow. 491 00:38:27,461 --> 00:38:30,258 My honor is at stake and my best rider 492 00:38:30,283 --> 00:38:34,090 was run over by a crusade last week. Nasty things! 493 00:38:34,142 --> 00:38:36,671 I'd put up warning signs, then. 494 00:38:36,696 --> 00:38:38,791 Do we have warning signs? 495 00:38:38,857 --> 00:38:42,983 No, Sire, but Maid Andrea has some spare crosses. 496 00:38:43,066 --> 00:38:46,244 Yeah? Put up Andrea's Crosses!* (Andrea Kreuzer?) 497 00:38:46,298 --> 00:38:48,918 Hey, great idea! Can I go now? 498 00:38:48,996 --> 00:38:52,317 Because of him my subsitute rider fell off his horse. 499 00:38:52,379 --> 00:38:56,064 So, he will have to win the tournament for me tomorrow. 500 00:38:56,108 --> 00:38:58,239 If he succeeds, he is free. 501 00:38:58,348 --> 00:39:01,403 If not, he and his retinue will die 502 00:39:01,481 --> 00:39:04,810 and the woman is mine. Cheers! 503 00:39:05,100 --> 00:39:06,628 But Sire!... 504 00:39:06,763 --> 00:39:11,244 Only men of noble blood may take part in the competition. 505 00:39:11,801 --> 00:39:13,610 That's right. 506 00:39:16,109 --> 00:39:19,110 I hereby dub thee Sir Knight Rider from... 507 00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:21,439 from Behind. 508 00:39:34,319 --> 00:39:37,985 Regulator, those swine have gone to the past 509 00:39:38,010 --> 00:39:40,208 to wipe out our existence. 510 00:39:40,599 --> 00:39:42,559 This is bad news. 511 00:39:42,958 --> 00:39:47,237 Yeah, sure. But I also have good news. 512 00:39:47,604 --> 00:39:49,010 Speak. 513 00:39:49,076 --> 00:39:53,762 In this book are the instructions for the time machine. 514 00:39:54,107 --> 00:39:56,568 I converted my mo-ped into one. 515 00:39:56,704 --> 00:39:59,044 And does it work? 516 00:39:59,208 --> 00:40:01,568 And how, Master! Here's the proof. 517 00:40:01,646 --> 00:40:03,754 I already got tomorrow's paper 518 00:40:03,779 --> 00:40:05,793 Regulator Snaps Up Earth! 519 00:40:05,879 --> 00:40:09,972 Four-eyes Executed for High Treason With Frying Pan. Poor sod! 520 00:40:10,104 --> 00:40:12,495 They write nothing about me. 521 00:40:12,753 --> 00:40:15,941 For this to come true you must stop them! 522 00:40:15,995 --> 00:40:18,302 Can you follow their time-route? 523 00:40:18,363 --> 00:40:23,071 You bet.. I'll sniff them out with my Sniff-radar. 524 00:40:23,153 --> 00:40:25,862 - Jens! - Master? 525 00:40:26,070 --> 00:40:29,820 There's another thing you should know. 526 00:40:30,904 --> 00:40:32,298 What? 527 00:40:32,469 --> 00:40:37,969 Thirty years, or so, ago came a baby we all know 528 00:40:38,468 --> 00:40:45,095 Without a sock, without a shoe. My dear Jens, that was you. 529 00:40:45,654 --> 00:40:48,113 I don't follow my Regulator. 530 00:40:48,611 --> 00:40:52,285 I... am your father! 531 00:40:53,197 --> 00:40:57,015 Hiya, pappy. Leave it to me. Bye-ski! 532 00:41:01,713 --> 00:41:03,401 Jawohl! 533 00:41:06,355 --> 00:41:07,808 Aah! 534 00:41:09,307 --> 00:41:12,557 ♪ [Klaxon: La cucaracha] 535 00:41:25,662 --> 00:41:29,060 ♪ 536 00:41:40,747 --> 00:41:45,491 The Duchess' dress suits you to a T, by the way, Milady. 537 00:41:45,573 --> 00:41:49,726 She wore it just yesterday while making out with the jester. 538 00:41:49,843 --> 00:41:52,437 - You have a wife? - Had. 539 00:41:52,507 --> 00:41:55,064 - Where is she now? - Hanging outside. 540 00:41:55,113 --> 00:41:57,365 You hanged her outside? Why? 541 00:41:57,444 --> 00:42:00,419 No gallows indoors, unfortunately. 542 00:42:00,670 --> 00:42:02,037 Uhuh? 543 00:42:02,198 --> 00:42:05,410 Two No. 33 pizzas for William the Last! 544 00:42:05,545 --> 00:42:08,685 To the Knight Rider of Behinds, cheers! 545 00:42:09,190 --> 00:42:11,620 Aaahh! 546 00:42:13,831 --> 00:42:15,784 Aaahh! 547 00:42:25,158 --> 00:42:27,956 - What's your sign? - Huh? 548 00:42:28,221 --> 00:42:31,200 Your zodiac. You must have a star sign. 549 00:42:31,333 --> 00:42:34,279 - Err.. Virgo. - A virgin! 550 00:42:34,357 --> 00:42:37,564 - A virgin? - Where? - Finally! Bring her here! 551 00:42:37,589 --> 00:42:39,749 - No me! - I was here longer! 552 00:42:39,807 --> 00:42:41,441 SHUT UP! 553 00:42:41,783 --> 00:42:45,155 Virgo is very compatible with the Brimstone Butterfly. 554 00:42:45,180 --> 00:42:47,495 - That's no star sign. - Sure it is... 555 00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:51,377 in the Vulcanette horoscope. I happen to be a Brimstone. 556 00:42:51,424 --> 00:42:55,567 We only have insects in our zodiac. Housefly, Tse-Tse-fly 557 00:42:55,604 --> 00:42:59,649 Blowfly, Mayfly... or the Wasp! 558 00:42:59,773 --> 00:43:03,797 - Shall I show you my ascendant? - No, leave it where it is. 559 00:43:03,868 --> 00:43:08,093 - Show it to your boyfriend. - What? He's not my boyfriend. 560 00:43:08,146 --> 00:43:11,663 He's just my captain. Without me he'd be totally lost. 561 00:43:11,688 --> 00:43:17,131 - Besides, he has no idea what women want. - Neither do I. A guy has to be handsome... 562 00:43:17,217 --> 00:43:21,119 Looks are not that important. Humor is what you need. 563 00:43:21,202 --> 00:43:24,872 I have it! A doctor tells his patient: I have good and bad news. 564 00:43:24,927 --> 00:43:27,809 The good news is, you have one day to live. 565 00:43:27,867 --> 00:43:31,380 The bad news is, I forgot to tell you yesterday. 566 00:43:32,784 --> 00:43:35,492 - Forgot... yesterday. - Yeah. 567 00:43:36,369 --> 00:43:38,703 Not bad. 568 00:43:40,870 --> 00:43:46,784 You wanna know the magic question that'll melt any woman's heart? 569 00:43:50,100 --> 00:43:53,128 Do you want to go shopping with me? 570 00:43:53,233 --> 00:43:54,846 Shopping? 571 00:43:54,982 --> 00:43:59,870 And I always thought women had a thing for men who play the piano. 572 00:44:11,153 --> 00:44:15,256 ♪ Baby, I'm strollin' on top of the sky. 573 00:44:15,328 --> 00:44:16,848 Baby, I'm strollin' on top of the sky. 574 00:44:17,077 --> 00:44:20,539 ♪ Why don't you, don't you, don't you, 575 00:44:20,662 --> 00:44:25,620 ♪ Baby, come along with me? 576 00:44:25,910 --> 00:44:29,033 ♪ Why don't you come along with me? 577 00:44:31,010 --> 00:44:34,953 For me an open marriage would do just fine. 578 00:44:35,047 --> 00:44:39,329 I'd never marry again. My ex took everything. 579 00:44:39,529 --> 00:44:42,654 My house, my dog, my job. 580 00:44:43,001 --> 00:44:45,180 Even my hole-punch. 581 00:44:45,305 --> 00:44:48,141 Oh my, you can't file anything! 582 00:44:48,288 --> 00:44:52,012 Oh well... Let me show you something. Here! 583 00:44:52,944 --> 00:44:56,059 My little pink pal; he's all I have left. 584 00:44:56,122 --> 00:44:59,315 My, you are a little piggy! 585 00:44:59,340 --> 00:45:02,295 - Can I touch it? - Sure. 586 00:45:02,372 --> 00:45:07,496 - Oh my, it's all shrivelled up! - Well, it hasn't been out for ages. 587 00:45:07,581 --> 00:45:11,622 - Yeah, I can see that. - Come on, squeeze it. 588 00:45:12,665 --> 00:45:18,079 - I want one all to myself! - Come on, squeeze it harder. 589 00:45:23,998 --> 00:45:28,035 My, what's it doing? Oh, where is it? Oh, there it is! 590 00:45:28,191 --> 00:45:30,189 I don't want to make it pop. 591 00:45:30,233 --> 00:45:34,798 Oh, it won't pop! Not even when my dog used to chew it. 592 00:45:41,790 --> 00:45:43,231 The joust! 593 00:45:43,286 --> 00:45:47,568 Two knights try to knock each other off their saddles with a lance. 594 00:45:47,638 --> 00:45:51,802 If your friend hits the ground, he loses and we'll be married today. 595 00:45:51,857 --> 00:45:55,065 I don't think you'd be good together. 596 00:46:00,072 --> 00:46:02,998 - What? - How'd you sleep last night? 597 00:46:03,082 --> 00:46:04,900 Not a wink. 598 00:46:05,005 --> 00:46:07,427 Yes, can I imagine. 599 00:46:07,913 --> 00:46:11,038 - What's that on your foot? - A shoe. 600 00:46:11,567 --> 00:46:13,362 Where did you get it? 601 00:46:13,456 --> 00:46:17,448 Last night my room mate had his leg chopped off for no reason. 602 00:46:17,526 --> 00:46:19,672 I felt sorry and bought his shoe. 603 00:46:19,725 --> 00:46:22,401 - Shut up, you witches! - Witch, youself! 604 00:46:22,513 --> 00:46:25,808 My worthy Lords, worthy Ladies, worthy rabble! 605 00:46:25,867 --> 00:46:29,559 Our patronizing host is delighted you all showed up 606 00:46:29,667 --> 00:46:33,558 A big hand for Duke William the Last of Shareholding! 607 00:46:41,457 --> 00:46:44,458 Worthy Lords, worthy Ladies 608 00:46:44,750 --> 00:46:49,577 The 4th son of Sir Further-Winston-Fattenberry of West Firstwhistle-Minster-Shatwood Castle, 609 00:46:49,642 --> 00:46:53,435 Third Count of Yorkshire Forest Wooden-Lancester-Puddingham... 610 00:46:53,460 --> 00:46:57,114 - It's Pettingham, you idiot! - Eugh... yeah! 611 00:46:57,833 --> 00:47:02,000 The 4th son of Sir Further-Winston-Fattenberry of West Firstwhistle-Minster-Shatwood Castle, 612 00:47:02,083 --> 00:47:06,650 Third Count of Yorkshire Forest Wooden-Lancester-"Pettingham", 613 00:47:06,812 --> 00:47:09,812 Sir Richard Carsharing... 614 00:47:10,139 --> 00:47:12,771 cannot join us today. 615 00:47:13,247 --> 00:47:17,865 Yeah, yeah, the plague. But, filling in at short notice... 616 00:47:18,126 --> 00:47:21,628 the mysterious Black Knight! 617 00:47:26,787 --> 00:47:31,098 Facing him, under the crest of Duke William the Last 618 00:47:31,172 --> 00:47:35,255 the Pink Knight Rider of Behinds! 619 00:47:47,641 --> 00:47:51,841 I worked on that outfit all night, but it was worth it. 620 00:47:52,114 --> 00:47:55,238 Got a screw loose, huh? 621 00:48:01,003 --> 00:48:03,649 - Jens Maull! - Yes indeed! 622 00:48:03,772 --> 00:48:08,020 I'll defeat the Pink Knight Rider of Behinds, for you. 623 00:48:08,778 --> 00:48:10,568 Hyaah, faster you swine! 624 00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:13,989 - You must cancel the tournament! - Too late. 625 00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:20,895 If you're at all interested, Mr. Spook, I'm not well. 626 00:48:20,984 --> 00:48:26,349 I've had to go potty since last night, but they don't even have toilet paper. 627 00:48:33,979 --> 00:48:35,746 Easy, you swine! 628 00:48:37,410 --> 00:48:38,902 Yaaah! 629 00:48:47,036 --> 00:48:49,396 Hold your lance higher, Rocky! 630 00:48:49,497 --> 00:48:53,278 You have the hots. - No! - You called him, Rocky! 631 00:49:11,810 --> 00:49:15,668 Please believe me, if the Black Knight wins we're doomed! 632 00:49:15,762 --> 00:49:20,099 - It's not the end of the world, Milady. - You have no idea! 633 00:49:31,380 --> 00:49:33,256 Alright! 634 00:49:34,341 --> 00:49:39,615 - I can't take it anymore, Mr. Spook! - Me neither. That poor lovely outfit! 635 00:49:39,685 --> 00:49:44,167 My bladder's about to explode and you act like a halibut in heat! 636 00:49:44,221 --> 00:49:45,567 Rock! 637 00:49:47,557 --> 00:49:51,315 - Didn't hurt at all. - Think about our future! 638 00:49:51,799 --> 00:49:55,250 Don't worry, princess. I'll do this for you. 639 00:49:55,281 --> 00:49:59,537 One more stroke of the lance Separates me from your underpants, Milady 640 00:49:59,591 --> 00:50:04,432 Since your knob lacks vigor and vim Taboo, for you, shall be my quim. 641 00:50:04,674 --> 00:50:08,729 ♪ Put your Lanze in the air, and rock it like you just don't care! 642 00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:12,338 ♪ Everybody say, oh yeahl Oh yeah! 643 00:50:34,092 --> 00:50:40,050 ♪ They asked me how I knew 644 00:50:40,674 --> 00:50:44,341 ♪ My true love was true. 645 00:50:44,999 --> 00:50:48,163 ♪ Ohh! 646 00:50:49,008 --> 00:50:53,257 ♪ I of course replied, 647 00:50:53,425 --> 00:50:57,217 ♪ "Something here inside 648 00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:00,509 ♪ cannot be denied. 649 00:51:17,847 --> 00:51:19,592 Jawohl! Yeah! 650 00:51:19,793 --> 00:51:22,941 Yeah, let's get married! Where's the priest? 651 00:51:22,975 --> 00:51:26,722 Jawohl! Hey, don't touch! Hands off! 652 00:51:29,305 --> 00:51:33,698 - What are you up to? - A little fireworks for our wedding. 653 00:51:34,096 --> 00:51:38,083 Oh, I know how you feel. I fell off my bunk bed when I was a kid. 654 00:51:38,146 --> 00:51:41,450 Excuse me, he's lying on my bladder. 655 00:51:42,003 --> 00:51:44,974 - Hey, wait! - What? 656 00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:49,357 Oh Willy! Wanna make me happy? 657 00:51:51,066 --> 00:51:52,661 Yeah, definitely! 658 00:51:52,771 --> 00:51:55,849 Jawohl! Higher, you swine! 659 00:51:56,136 --> 00:51:59,595 - I'm ready, Willy-Boy. - Oh, yeah, that's good. 660 00:51:59,717 --> 00:52:02,080 A little closer, my dear. 661 00:52:03,971 --> 00:52:07,190 They're getting away! Put me down, assholes! 662 00:52:07,324 --> 00:52:09,464 What a picture! 663 00:52:10,325 --> 00:52:11,565 Stop! 664 00:52:11,787 --> 00:52:15,513 - Come on baby, where's the cheesecake? - Here! 665 00:52:15,661 --> 00:52:19,059 Cheeeeese cake! 666 00:52:19,368 --> 00:52:21,216 Oh shit! 667 00:52:27,756 --> 00:52:31,110 - They're gone! - William is a sorcerer. 668 00:52:33,419 --> 00:52:36,420 - Burn him! - YEAH! 669 00:52:39,186 --> 00:52:43,431 So, now I'm off to paradise because I loved a pair o' thighs. 670 00:53:00,380 --> 00:53:02,220 What happened? 671 00:53:02,282 --> 00:53:05,861 You were unconscious. But we're here. 672 00:53:05,946 --> 00:53:09,847 - Hey, stop pulling! - Whizz, whizz, pee-pee! 673 00:53:09,930 --> 00:53:13,202 - Oh, look at that! - Oh thank God! 674 00:53:16,348 --> 00:53:21,073 - Hurry, will you? - Yeah. Look, someone forgot his pants. 675 00:53:21,251 --> 00:53:24,392 Harrngh! Man, it's heavy! 676 00:53:24,806 --> 00:53:28,555 The wardrobe goes up in the bedroom. 677 00:53:30,062 --> 00:53:34,014 Careful, this is our new sheriff's furniture. 678 00:53:34,097 --> 00:53:38,779 - By tomorrow, it all has to be perfect. - Sure thing, Mayor. 679 00:53:38,898 --> 00:53:40,825 Oh, careful! 680 00:53:41,188 --> 00:53:44,188 I was dreaming about soccer. 681 00:53:44,432 --> 00:53:47,252 I was a man-on-man defender made of marzipan. 682 00:53:47,277 --> 00:53:50,171 Someone stuck a lucky penny to my head 683 00:53:50,281 --> 00:53:53,599 and put me next to the tarts in the shop window. 684 00:53:53,789 --> 00:53:57,570 - Who did that? - Some gay pastry chef. 685 00:54:05,515 --> 00:54:07,235 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 686 00:54:21,223 --> 00:54:25,099 - Where are the other two? - Peeing. 687 00:54:25,182 --> 00:54:26,914 Oh, that was close! 688 00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:30,291 I wouldn't wish such a full bladder on Miss Bora-Bora. 689 00:54:30,341 --> 00:54:34,967 I shouldn't eat so much asparagus. So, how do I look? 690 00:54:35,057 --> 00:54:39,516 - I find this outfit totally old fashioned. - Poppycock! Old fashioned? 691 00:54:39,599 --> 00:54:44,182 In local dress, at least we won't stand out. - You're jingling. 692 00:54:44,267 --> 00:54:49,183 I have a world to save! Watch, this is how you move in Nevada. 693 00:54:49,266 --> 00:54:52,264 Shoulders up, let your hips sway. 694 00:54:52,326 --> 00:54:56,866 Imagine, figure skating, and don't forget to breathe. 695 00:54:56,944 --> 00:54:58,777 You try it. 696 00:55:04,137 --> 00:55:06,062 Forget it! 697 00:55:18,156 --> 00:55:20,258 (Sniff!) 698 00:55:37,388 --> 00:55:40,102 Ah, fresh asparagus tea! 699 00:55:40,185 --> 00:55:43,115 It's still warm! 700 00:56:01,270 --> 00:56:04,060 - Spooky. - I can't do this now. 701 00:56:04,144 --> 00:56:07,927 - How far down is it? - I don't know. 702 00:56:08,231 --> 00:56:11,615 - Then, please look. - I can't. 703 00:56:11,724 --> 00:56:14,784 It's Nevada alright, but at the wrong time. 704 00:56:14,933 --> 00:56:16,904 Can you fix the time machine? 705 00:56:16,950 --> 00:56:20,386 - How, without the manual? - What do we do now? 706 00:56:20,487 --> 00:56:22,752 First we find the girls. 707 00:56:22,870 --> 00:56:27,136 I have a funny feeling, they're around here, somewhere. 708 00:56:27,198 --> 00:56:30,777 For the last time, Mr. Spook how far down is it? 709 00:56:30,802 --> 00:56:33,815 - Forget it! - Aha! Being rebellious, now? 710 00:56:33,914 --> 00:56:38,714 - It's the bad influence of that guy Rock! - You're just jealous! - Hah! 711 00:56:39,721 --> 00:56:43,930 - Be careful, OK? - Hey! The princess is worried about me. 712 00:56:44,015 --> 00:56:48,241 - What do you mean by that? - When a woman worries about a man... 713 00:56:48,312 --> 00:56:50,224 I worry about our mission. 714 00:56:50,325 --> 00:56:54,380 Oh, yeah? I worry about my taxi and the money you owe me. 715 00:56:54,505 --> 00:56:56,122 What? 716 00:56:56,199 --> 00:57:01,566 - We're stuck here without the time sofa! - You shoulda been more careful. 717 00:57:01,646 --> 00:57:06,388 - Oh, so it's my fault? - I was unconscious. - That's so typical! 718 00:57:06,474 --> 00:57:09,034 You have a jealous streak! 719 00:57:11,449 --> 00:57:15,689 Look down, or I'll tell Rock that you have a green testicle. 720 00:57:15,753 --> 00:57:17,740 Ohh! You tyrant! 721 00:57:19,450 --> 00:57:22,127 Don't forget, I risked my neck for you! 722 00:57:22,198 --> 00:57:25,237 Risk?! You kicked a leather ball in my face! 723 00:57:25,307 --> 00:57:27,869 Without me, you'd be grilling on that pyre! 724 00:57:27,925 --> 00:57:30,331 - Good morning. - 'Morning. 725 00:57:31,173 --> 00:57:34,980 - Do you have a boyfriend? - What? - So you don't. 726 00:57:35,049 --> 00:57:38,173 I'll tell you something. You want me. 727 00:57:38,627 --> 00:57:40,895 This is not about you, got it? 728 00:57:41,036 --> 00:57:44,427 Excuse me, can I have my sports section? 729 00:57:47,815 --> 00:57:49,758 Mayor Roony! 730 00:57:50,243 --> 00:57:52,290 Wrong!... To the left! 731 00:57:52,377 --> 00:57:54,180 Mayor Roony! 732 00:57:54,437 --> 00:57:58,188 A telegram from Roswell! It's horrible! 733 00:57:59,315 --> 00:58:01,361 God help us! 734 00:58:01,471 --> 00:58:04,377 The old sheriff is not yet cold... 735 00:58:04,622 --> 00:58:07,510 and they're already coming back to town! 736 00:58:07,578 --> 00:58:10,010 On the 12 o'clock train. 737 00:58:13,801 --> 00:58:16,762 - They're baaack! - They're baaack! 738 00:58:19,303 --> 00:58:22,443 ♪ [Straight To Hell: Rage] 739 00:58:26,100 --> 00:58:28,429 ♪ 740 00:58:32,527 --> 00:58:34,855 ♪ Straight to Hell 741 00:58:35,580 --> 00:58:37,682 ♪ ♪ 742 00:58:38,189 --> 00:58:43,794 - You have your mother's flabby ass! - This is the last time I'm taking you anywhere. 743 00:58:43,849 --> 00:58:46,247 I'm never going out with you again. 744 00:58:46,310 --> 00:58:50,763 So what? There are plenty of people who'd love to go out with me! 745 00:58:50,833 --> 00:58:53,332 Who, your ridiculous 'Rock'-a-bye-baby? 746 00:58:53,357 --> 00:58:58,300 Yeah! Our knees touched, and I got the feeling he wanted it too. 747 00:58:58,347 --> 00:59:02,946 Don't smirk, maybe next year I'll go on vacation with him to Mykonos! 748 00:59:03,015 --> 00:59:05,594 Hah! You're not getting any time off, from me. 749 00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:10,798 Sheriff Shorty? I thought you were coming tomorrow. Anyway, good luck! 750 00:59:10,980 --> 00:59:14,104 You're taller than I expected. 751 00:59:15,754 --> 00:59:18,044 Which one is the sheriff? 752 00:59:18,127 --> 00:59:20,367 The one with the star, Jim. 753 00:59:20,450 --> 00:59:23,965 - Then I'll save the world without you. - Forget it, you can't! 754 00:59:24,036 --> 00:59:27,857 - I can, too! - Can not! - Can, too! - Can not! 755 00:59:28,176 --> 00:59:30,627 - Can, too! - Can not! - Can, too! - Can not! 756 00:59:30,735 --> 00:59:32,736 I don't believe this. 757 00:59:32,798 --> 00:59:35,353 You can't, I have the Swiss pocket-laser. 758 00:59:35,407 --> 00:59:37,272 Vulcanette hussy! 759 00:59:38,859 --> 00:59:40,770 Hey, are you nuts? 760 00:59:40,871 --> 00:59:43,404 Shorty's not as short as I recall. 761 00:59:43,477 --> 00:59:47,644 Well, it's been 10 years, no? He's probably grown. 762 00:59:51,310 --> 00:59:52,817 Ahh!... 763 00:59:53,459 --> 00:59:54,835 Crap! 764 00:59:54,938 --> 00:59:58,271 Game over! Pappy will be delighted. 765 01:00:01,696 --> 01:00:03,396 He's got a moped! 766 01:00:06,069 --> 01:00:07,669 Oh no, not again. 767 01:00:07,982 --> 01:00:09,568 Hyaah! 768 01:00:17,777 --> 01:00:19,426 Ohh... shit! 769 01:00:24,821 --> 01:00:27,028 What's wrong? 770 01:00:36,735 --> 01:00:39,710 Ooo... Get a move on, you asshole! 771 01:00:50,568 --> 01:00:52,783 John, you get rid of the sheriff. 772 01:00:52,963 --> 01:00:56,033 Jim, wash your hands and get in the Saloon. 773 01:00:56,127 --> 01:01:00,296 Sorry, Johnny, I can't stay out to play. 774 01:01:00,477 --> 01:01:04,821 It's all right. I found two new playmates already. 775 01:01:04,929 --> 01:01:08,538 - Wipe your feet - Yeah, boss. - John, you have ten minutes. 776 01:01:08,617 --> 01:01:13,225 We still need to sell a pub to the Apaches today. 777 01:01:14,076 --> 01:01:16,782 - We come from... - Peaceful Village! 778 01:01:16,838 --> 01:01:19,257 We are peace-loving Village People. 779 01:01:19,282 --> 01:01:21,004 Ladies and Señoritas! 780 01:01:21,029 --> 01:01:26,414 From Medicine Bow, Wyoming, it's your host tonight: Mr. Santa Maria! 781 01:01:27,704 --> 01:01:30,947 - Isn't he gorgeous? - I'm your biggest fan! 782 01:01:31,126 --> 01:01:35,943 Ladies, welcome to "Santa at Noon"! My guest, today, is Jim. 783 01:01:36,047 --> 01:01:37,865 Hello, Jim. 784 01:01:38,765 --> 01:01:42,633 - Jim, what did you bring us today? - Rheumatism blankets, boss. 785 01:01:42,661 --> 01:01:44,896 Isn't that fantastic! 786 01:01:46,573 --> 01:01:49,323 ♪ Schnuffi-Puffi... (Buy one, get one free) 787 01:01:49,405 --> 01:01:52,906 ♪ Schnuffi-Puffi... (Schnuffi-Puffi) 788 01:01:53,032 --> 01:01:58,824 ♪ Schnuffi-Puffi, and your wild ride's going on! 789 01:01:59,026 --> 01:02:01,109 Now on sale! 790 01:02:14,581 --> 01:02:18,332 - I think he has the hots for you. - Eh? - M-hm! 791 01:02:19,824 --> 01:02:22,641 C'mon... Draw! 792 01:02:23,128 --> 01:02:24,519 What? 793 01:02:24,574 --> 01:02:26,223 He means your pistol. 794 01:02:26,842 --> 01:02:29,130 It's his first time. 795 01:02:32,228 --> 01:02:34,310 Oh look, thanks! 796 01:02:38,079 --> 01:02:42,074 - I can't get it out. - Now you know what it's like! 797 01:02:42,140 --> 01:02:44,536 - You alright, captain? - Yes, but... 798 01:02:44,646 --> 01:02:48,724 - Where's Rock? - I can't stand hearing that name! 799 01:02:48,833 --> 01:02:51,536 Anybody order a taxi? 800 01:02:51,867 --> 01:02:54,310 - Thank God, he's here! - Thank God, he's here! 801 01:02:54,335 --> 01:02:56,093 Nya-nya, nya-nya! 802 01:02:59,620 --> 01:03:02,745 - You're a real hero. - I know. 803 01:03:09,216 --> 01:03:12,019 But boss, we don't drink champagne. 804 01:03:12,332 --> 01:03:14,479 But the Apache chief does. 805 01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:18,469 Oh! Someone's laid out there! 806 01:03:18,541 --> 01:03:20,832 Yeah, that's my John! 807 01:03:50,328 --> 01:03:54,493 My Regulator. Your shuttle to Earth is ready. 808 01:03:54,576 --> 01:03:58,365 - Has Lord Maul reported back yet? - No, my Regulator! 809 01:03:58,426 --> 01:04:02,803 But we apprehended this man. He was pretending to mow the lawn. 810 01:04:02,828 --> 01:04:06,865 He belongs to the special unit that fled in the time machine. 811 01:04:06,983 --> 01:04:11,482 Interesting. He can surely tell us something about their plans. 812 01:04:11,567 --> 01:04:13,024 I'm not saying anything. 813 01:04:13,049 --> 01:04:15,779 I already lost my reading lamp in this war. 814 01:04:15,808 --> 01:04:17,380 It can't get any worse! 815 01:04:17,581 --> 01:04:21,821 Then, I can't do anything for you. You fool! 816 01:04:23,842 --> 01:04:25,578 Hermes! 817 01:04:27,551 --> 01:04:29,555 Send out a press release: 818 01:04:29,641 --> 01:04:33,516 Four-eyes executed for high treason, with frying pan. 819 01:04:33,556 --> 01:04:35,188 Yessir, Regulator. 820 01:04:35,413 --> 01:04:41,596 We have conquered Earth. The Age of Darkness has begun. 821 01:05:22,133 --> 01:05:24,194 I think this is our turn-off! 822 01:05:25,317 --> 01:05:28,519 I've no idea how how to slow this thing down! 823 01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:37,378 JUMP! 824 01:05:52,038 --> 01:05:54,684 Oh, great, my ears are all full of sand! 825 01:05:54,794 --> 01:05:58,216 No wonder, with those dish antennas of yours. 826 01:06:02,123 --> 01:06:05,855 - You alright, Princess? - I think so. 827 01:06:32,624 --> 01:06:34,499 Better. 828 01:06:40,458 --> 01:06:43,747 That's our sofa! Why is it smoking? 829 01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:47,036 Now, hold on! What are you doing with our sofa? 830 01:06:47,106 --> 01:06:48,590 It's not a toy! 831 01:06:48,648 --> 01:06:52,378 Look at the shape it's in! It's totally filthy! 832 01:06:53,625 --> 01:06:55,553 Do you even know who I am? 833 01:06:55,630 --> 01:06:59,982 My name is Juergen Thorsten Cork, captain of the Dreamship Surprise. 834 01:07:00,052 --> 01:07:04,923 I'm responsible for this sofa and my 40 man crew. 835 01:07:05,028 --> 01:07:08,173 And it's not easy to manage! 836 01:07:10,506 --> 01:07:11,889 Arf! 837 01:07:14,083 --> 01:07:17,834 He re-built the time sofa. 838 01:07:19,751 --> 01:07:21,626 Now, you! 839 01:07:28,027 --> 01:07:29,693 Okay! 840 01:07:30,335 --> 01:07:32,210 You... 841 01:07:32,877 --> 01:07:35,450 It's you, again... 842 01:07:42,863 --> 01:07:45,988 - What is that? - A corkscrew. 843 01:07:47,887 --> 01:07:49,740 A magnifying glass. 844 01:08:00,038 --> 01:08:01,443 Oh, no! 845 01:08:02,877 --> 01:08:05,091 Your time is up! 846 01:08:15,832 --> 01:08:17,808 The UFO! 847 01:08:31,546 --> 01:08:34,670 Time for me to quit, I bid you, 'shit!' 848 01:08:37,463 --> 01:08:39,128 Rock! 849 01:08:43,853 --> 01:08:45,935 Do you want to... 850 01:08:48,168 --> 01:08:51,143 Want to go shopping with me? 851 01:08:51,463 --> 01:08:53,545 Yes I do! 852 01:08:58,442 --> 01:09:02,297 So, Mr. Spook seems his hots for you have cooled. 853 01:09:02,307 --> 01:09:05,651 Yeah but, I can still keep him on the back burner. 854 01:09:08,308 --> 01:09:12,475 - There's something you should know. - What is it? 855 01:09:13,254 --> 01:09:15,005 I... 856 01:09:15,088 --> 01:09:19,470 - I'm lousy in bed. - Oh Rocky, me too! 857 01:09:31,921 --> 01:09:36,751 - Oh, my, how cute! - Careful, Mr. Spook, it might bite. 858 01:09:49,215 --> 01:09:52,340 - Think I'll talk to him. - M-hm! 859 01:09:52,589 --> 01:09:55,732 - Hello, stranger! - Huh? 860 01:09:55,850 --> 01:09:58,450 You friend or foe? 861 01:10:01,547 --> 01:10:03,199 - Ah! - Ah! 862 01:10:03,294 --> 01:10:06,296 - A friend! - A friend! 863 01:10:12,317 --> 01:10:16,450 - I think the poor thing caught a cold. - We'll fix that in a jiffy. 864 01:10:17,344 --> 01:10:19,995 Who's a good boy, then, eh? 865 01:10:33,597 --> 01:10:39,014 - Now you wrecked it, you dumb cow! - Not wrecked enough, I'm afraid. 866 01:10:50,600 --> 01:10:52,130 We did it! 867 01:10:52,521 --> 01:10:55,154 That's it? This'll change the world? 868 01:10:55,193 --> 01:10:59,008 Yeah, often the smallest things have the biggest effect. 869 01:10:59,091 --> 01:11:03,508 Don't know about you, but, I'm pretty damned homesick. 870 01:11:03,668 --> 01:11:05,341 - Yeah! - Yeah! 871 01:11:09,073 --> 01:11:11,550 I wonder what awaits us at home. 872 01:11:11,620 --> 01:11:16,122 Hopefully a fresh cheese cake in Honolulu, huh Spooky? 873 01:11:20,005 --> 01:11:22,002 There's not enough energy. 874 01:11:22,041 --> 01:11:24,311 - Overload. - Overload? 875 01:11:24,607 --> 01:11:26,754 - We're too heavy. - What?! 876 01:11:26,877 --> 01:11:31,927 We'll make 200 years, tops. We're 76.375 kg over. 877 01:11:32,044 --> 01:11:34,716 - Oh no! - What do you weigh? - 54 kg. 878 01:11:34,783 --> 01:11:37,586 My beach weight's 75 kg. 879 01:11:37,677 --> 01:11:39,208 I'm 73. 880 01:11:39,385 --> 01:11:41,568 What about you, Spooky? 881 01:11:41,879 --> 01:11:44,379 Tell us your weight. 882 01:11:51,678 --> 01:11:55,001 76 kilos, 375 grams. 883 01:12:04,010 --> 01:12:05,886 Spooky? 884 01:12:12,844 --> 01:12:16,402 Dr. Moans was right, I'm just too fat. 885 01:12:33,263 --> 01:12:35,644 Thanks for everything. 886 01:12:40,293 --> 01:12:42,792 They found us. 887 01:12:47,511 --> 01:12:50,888 Here... whenever you're lonely... 888 01:12:52,346 --> 01:12:54,865 just squeeze it. 889 01:13:01,879 --> 01:13:03,722 Don't go! 890 01:13:05,429 --> 01:13:07,482 You must go now. 891 01:13:08,154 --> 01:13:12,083 How can I, without you? I'd rather stay here too. 892 01:13:12,404 --> 01:13:16,168 No, you must go to the Miss Waikiki contest. 893 01:13:16,454 --> 01:13:17,905 Spooky... 894 01:13:18,638 --> 01:13:21,388 I'll always be with you, captain. 895 01:13:27,097 --> 01:13:31,264 You're the bravest Vulcanette in the whole world! 896 01:13:34,181 --> 01:13:36,265 "Live long and prosper". 897 01:13:37,556 --> 01:13:39,499 We must go. 898 01:14:18,223 --> 01:14:21,099 And you expect us to buy that story? 899 01:14:21,161 --> 01:14:22,591 M-hm! 900 01:14:22,765 --> 01:14:25,568 So you're a time traveller. 901 01:14:26,092 --> 01:14:27,552 M-hm! 902 01:14:32,016 --> 01:14:35,851 And you come from the year 2304... 903 01:14:37,397 --> 01:14:39,225 to save the world. 904 01:14:39,264 --> 01:14:40,456 M-hm! 905 01:14:40,508 --> 01:14:43,349 What do you think, Mr. Oilfeld? 906 01:14:43,443 --> 01:14:45,123 Mmm... 907 01:14:52,142 --> 01:14:56,768 - Sir, he's telling the truth. - Are you sure, Mr. Cornfeld? 908 01:14:56,850 --> 01:15:00,101 Yes, Mr. Wheatfeld. The lie detector confirms it. 909 01:15:00,179 --> 01:15:02,841 He can fool us but not the machine. 910 01:15:02,919 --> 01:15:04,832 Please, Mrs. Ricefeld. 911 01:15:04,891 --> 01:15:08,017 Mr. Spook, your story seems so... 912 01:15:10,279 --> 01:15:13,530 - unbelievable. - You can say that again! 913 01:15:13,768 --> 01:15:17,227 Can you prove you're from the future? 914 01:15:25,641 --> 01:15:27,376 What the hell is that? 915 01:15:27,430 --> 01:15:30,416 Oh my, I'd totally forgotten about that! 916 01:15:31,843 --> 01:15:34,525 I've never seen anything like it! 917 01:15:36,309 --> 01:15:39,934 - It vibrates when it gets hot. - Yes, General. 918 01:15:40,034 --> 01:15:44,200 - A vibrating thermometer. - That's the proof. 919 01:15:45,934 --> 01:15:49,060 This man does come from the future! 920 01:16:10,627 --> 01:16:12,177 What is that? 921 01:16:12,289 --> 01:16:15,040 Surprise! 922 01:16:44,047 --> 01:16:47,174 - Welcome home, captain. - What? 923 01:16:47,936 --> 01:16:52,646 This is impossible. You were just... I mean, you were... 924 01:16:52,729 --> 01:16:57,665 - How are you still alive? - I told you but, you never believed me. 925 01:16:58,979 --> 01:17:01,647 Galapagos turtle! 926 01:17:01,729 --> 01:17:04,712 Yesterday was my 335th birthday. 927 01:17:04,830 --> 01:17:07,905 Three hun...? You haven't changed a bit! 928 01:17:07,962 --> 01:17:11,220 No grey hair, no cellulite in your face. Nothing! 929 01:17:11,300 --> 01:17:13,216 Yeah, it wasn't cheap. 930 01:17:13,354 --> 01:17:16,344 You waited 300 years, for me? 931 01:17:16,430 --> 01:17:19,805 M-hm. I made good use of my time. Look. 932 01:17:30,146 --> 01:17:33,148 Isn't it wonderful? 933 01:17:33,315 --> 01:17:36,149 How did you do that, Spooky? 934 01:17:36,625 --> 01:17:40,136 I sold our cheesecake recipe to McDonald's. 935 01:17:40,230 --> 01:17:41,800 Oi! 936 01:17:45,731 --> 01:17:50,022 Computer log no. 1 of the Dreamship Surprise: Captain Cork. 937 01:17:50,104 --> 01:17:52,219 We saved the world again. 938 01:17:52,391 --> 01:17:56,930 By destroying the UFO in 2004 we changed the future. 939 01:17:57,016 --> 01:17:58,857 Mars was never colonized, 940 01:17:58,903 --> 01:18:03,221 and Mr. Spook redecorated the Earth a little, over the last 300 years. 941 01:18:03,285 --> 01:18:06,106 Nothing can stop us now! 942 01:18:06,356 --> 01:18:10,149 ♪ 'Cause we're so cute and so slick 943 01:18:10,356 --> 01:18:16,523 ♪ and so slim and so slender We'll be Miss Waikiki! 944 01:18:17,316 --> 01:18:21,316 ♪ And shower to the left. And shower to the right. 945 01:18:21,816 --> 01:18:25,566 ♪ And don't forget the soap! One more time? 946 01:18:26,066 --> 01:18:30,108 ♪ And five, six, seven, eight Five, six, seven, eight 947 01:18:30,192 --> 01:18:34,107 ♪ And touch and push. And touch and push. 948 01:18:34,356 --> 01:18:38,232 ♪ And towel to the left. And towel to the right. 949 01:18:38,525 --> 01:18:42,816 ♪ And don't forget the willy! Dry the willy to the beat. 950 01:18:54,441 --> 01:18:57,568 Leave it to me, pappy. 951 01:18:59,041 --> 01:19:04,008 ♪Translation: astrogirl, shuushuuma & ♪ XQ2☻ 952 01:19:04,108 --> 01:19:08,192 I'm a Vulcanette Vulgaris. We can live 400 years because we evolved 953 01:19:08,275 --> 01:19:11,151 from Galapapago... 954 01:19:11,233 --> 01:19:13,942 I'm a... 955 01:19:22,286 --> 01:19:25,067 This thing farts! 956 01:19:25,275 --> 01:19:29,442 Sure. I'll snaff them out with my snaffledidap. 957 01:19:31,235 --> 01:19:32,901 Yeah! 958 01:19:35,026 --> 01:19:39,214 - Klaus Kinski? - Yes. I'm floating. Come up. 959 01:19:39,652 --> 01:19:43,736 Sure, Popsh. Leave 'dish' to me. shshshsh... 960 01:19:43,889 --> 01:19:48,054 - I am Hermes, messenger of the Gods. - And whahamaminib? 961 01:19:48,500 --> 01:19:52,667 The swine travelled to the past to our-er-erara... 962 01:19:53,024 --> 01:19:56,404 Rrrrrr! Rrrrrr! I miss my moped. 963 01:19:56,553 --> 01:20:00,719 - I used to float 'for' a team! - 'On' a team? 964 01:20:00,917 --> 01:20:05,503 I was the youngest in the floating marathon. At 12 I shwai.. washwei... shwe.... 965 01:20:05,528 --> 01:20:08,236 shwiba... hi y'all! 966 01:20:09,070 --> 01:20:12,105 At 12, I got my freestyle floating, badge. 967 01:20:12,191 --> 01:20:16,511 at 14, I won the Federal Floating Gold Cross - Federal Cross? 968 01:20:18,744 --> 01:20:23,167 - Get away with that flute! - I am Hermes, messenger of the Gods! 969 01:20:28,301 --> 01:20:30,269 He stuck his flute in my face. 970 01:20:30,464 --> 01:20:32,673 ♪ High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 971 01:20:34,571 --> 01:20:37,694 ♪ Space-Taxi to the sky. 972 01:20:38,985 --> 01:20:41,404 ♪ High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 973 01:20:43,154 --> 01:20:46,528 ♪ Space-Taxi to the sky. 974 01:20:46,607 --> 01:20:47,755 Come on. 975 01:20:47,817 --> 01:20:49,609 ♪ Fire salamander (So hot!) 976 01:20:49,654 --> 01:20:51,735 ♪ Spread your legs wider (Check it out!) 977 01:20:51,777 --> 01:20:55,654 ♪ Now close your legs again And out you go! 978 01:20:56,571 --> 01:20:58,696 ♪ High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 979 01:21:00,695 --> 01:21:03,946 ♪ Space-Taxi to the sky. 980 01:21:04,361 --> 01:21:06,238 I... 981 01:21:07,173 --> 01:21:09,488 I forgot to pack my bra. 982 01:21:09,724 --> 01:21:13,138 Here... Take mi... 983 01:21:15,989 --> 01:21:18,988 William is a sorcerer! 984 01:21:20,091 --> 01:21:22,800 Mouth full. Sorry! 985 01:21:24,113 --> 01:21:27,191 Do you want to make me happy? 986 01:21:27,491 --> 01:21:28,948 Yeah, definitely! 987 01:21:31,795 --> 01:21:34,614 My nose up with her toungue! 988 01:21:35,823 --> 01:21:40,614 Sir Further-Winston-Fattenberry of West Firstwhistle-Minster-Shatwood Castle, 989 01:21:40,698 --> 01:21:42,813 Third Count of... 990 01:21:43,199 --> 01:21:44,618 Fuck! 991 01:21:46,155 --> 01:21:47,406 Fuck, hey! 992 01:21:54,199 --> 01:21:57,732 There are plenty of people who'd luff... 993 01:21:58,111 --> 01:22:01,950 There are plenty of people who'd luff... 994 01:22:04,467 --> 01:22:08,878 There are plenty of people who'd luff... sorry! 995 01:22:11,346 --> 01:22:13,784 There are plenty... 996 01:22:22,641 --> 01:22:23,850 Woof! 997 01:22:25,182 --> 01:22:26,335 Arf! 998 01:22:28,075 --> 01:22:32,888 Do you know who you're dealing with? Captain Juergen Thorsten Cork from the 999 01:22:32,988 --> 01:22:35,630 Planet of the Apes. Sorry. 1000 01:22:35,801 --> 01:22:38,997 Bring me a Quattro Staggioni, got that? 1001 01:22:39,109 --> 01:22:42,950 And turn off the shitty music. Dr. Moans out! 1002 01:26:05,181 --> 01:26:09,474 Now, be honest, Spooky. Weren't you insanely bored 1003 01:26:09,557 --> 01:26:12,681 these last 300 years, without me? 1004 01:26:13,540 --> 01:26:17,414 Well, I took some naps... 1005 01:26:17,498 --> 01:26:20,417 - visited my relatives - Oh, that's nice. 1006 01:26:20,499 --> 01:26:25,040 - I also did my tax return. - Yes, that's important. 1007 01:26:28,041 --> 01:26:31,041 And then in 2068 ... 1008 01:26:31,999 --> 01:26:36,583 I won bronze at the Olympic Games in women's team showering. 1009 01:26:36,666 --> 01:26:40,982 Go on, really?! Our Spooky always was a jock-ette! 1010 01:26:43,365 --> 01:26:44,873 Snotty, what gives? 1011 01:26:44,943 --> 01:26:48,756 Captain, I beamed someone up. He wants to join us! 1012 01:26:48,802 --> 01:26:52,964 Send him up. He'll get some cheesecake, too! 1013 01:26:53,116 --> 01:26:55,620 Aye aye, my captain! 1014 01:26:56,623 --> 01:26:59,276 Oh, I'm so curious! 1015 01:26:59,463 --> 01:27:02,680 Come in, if you're not a taxi driver! 1016 01:27:03,058 --> 01:27:07,223 - Hi y'all! - Voilá! Do you need a pearl diver? 1017 01:27:09,102 --> 01:27:11,375 Fascinating! 78361