All language subtitles for The Conners s07e03 pplications, Accusations and a Man-Bag.eng

So, Neville, would you like to pretend
you're not wearing a child's jacket,

or do you wanna be
held accountable?

Come on, Dad. He's just trying to fit in.
All the girls in 5th grade have one.

This is the jacket
from my new job as a vet at the Kane County Zoo,

and I came here straight from
work, so I didn't have time to change.

Yeah, we all know
that it does take a while to take off a jacket.

[scoffs] Well, I'm proud, okay?

[all] Ooh.

Wow.

Whoo! [laughs]

When I roll up to "the show,�

I'm the go-to doctor
for Pauline the Polar Bear.

And as his wife, I got a private
tour and a free bucket of fish to throw.

[chuckles]

Pauline's not just any bear.
She's a star. She's got 200,000 followers.

And I'm one of 'em.

Oh, just be careful
when you go online to search for "the Bears."

There's a lot of
different kinds of bears.

So, um, I have
some job news of my own.

With Neville spending more
and more time at the zoo and the clinic,

I've decided that
there's something that I would like to do.

- What is it you wanna do?
- Well, The Lanford PD

is rehiring ex-cops
to deal with a shortage,

and I'm gonna apply.

So... [chuckles]

...I'm gonna be a cop again.
[chuckles]

Mmm, who wants to go first?

I mean, I've got stuff,
but I just want some time to sort it out.

No, come on, everybody.
Isn't this exciting?

I would join this conversation,
but I was sworn to secrecy.

So I kept my opinion

that this is the most ridiculous
thing I've ever heard to myself,

and I intend to keep it
to myself.

Yeah. I assume
you're talking about a desk job, right?

No, no.
I wanna be out in the field.

The last time
you were in the field,

you had to leave the force
because you shot yourself in the leg.

Or as we like to call it,
the "dishonorable discharge."

It happens a lot.

Otherwise, you wouldn't have
the expression,

"Shoot yourself in the leg."

It's "Shoot yourself
in the foot."

It's "leg."

In Europe.

Look, if there's anything
I've learned

from watching my 96-year-old mother
take a train across this great land

is that we have to never
stop challenging ourselves.

Then pick up the mandolin.

Don't endanger everyone
in the community.

I'm not endangering anybody.

And the force doesn't have
a specific age limit.

So if they think it's safe,
then I think it's safe.

I-I think we should
talk about this at home.

It's-It's dangerous.

Oh, you think working with lions
and polar bears isn't dangerous?

The guy you're replacing
has a plaque on the ground

next to the churros stand.

You know, I knew the family
would go to town on this,

but I've always supported you
in everything.

Why can't you support me?

Ooh. I'd be careful, Neville.

When she gets mad, she goes
after what you love most.

[scoffs] Well, that's not gonna
happen because she's what I love most.

But if you could
hold on to this jacket just for a day or two,

I'd really appreciate it.

Okay, we're here, Dad.
What do you need?

My lawyer asked me
to fill out these forms

for my lawsuit
against the opioid company,

and I need you, guys,
to help me remember the details.

We have to prove
that her overdose

was entirely the fault
of the drug company

and none of us could have
done anything to prevent it.

Okay. Um,

they wanna know when Mom
got her first prescription for pain pills.

- Um...
- [Darlene] Oh, well,

I know it was a Monday
in mid-September.

I remember I was
working at the casino in that skimpy outfit.

I had just gotten my ass grabbed
for the first time.

Then, I came home.
I caught Harris shoplifting,

and Mark had just gotten
beaten up at school again for wearing a dress.

And then I was telling Mom
about it, and she said,

"I'm not sure of anything
you're saying

because I've just taken
my first pain pill."

Uh, it was the 14th.
It was September 14th.

Definitely, definitely
September 14th.

How in the hell
did you remember all that?

Well, I might be
a little Rain Man -y.

A lot of girls
don't get tested for that.

Okay, when did the doctor
cut her off,

and she had to start
getting pills from friends?

The doctor never cut her off.

He kept upping her dosage

because she kept complaining
that it wasn't stopping the pain.

Then I found the extra pills
that she was getting from her friends.

Yeah, that's also when we
found out she had friends.

I knew she had friends,
I just didn't know they were swapping pills

like a bunch of
San Francisco hippies.

But you knew she was doing it
at some point?

Yeah, but after the surgery,
I thought she was done with all that.

It would've seemed that way
to anybody.

Uh, I gotta go to work.

Dad, you spin things however you
need to make it sound like that.

Hey, Mom.

Oh. Hey.

You know, since you're always
working late at your new job,

why don't I drop by tonight,
see where you work,

and you can take me
out to dinner?

I'd love to,
but we're really up against it

and there's only
fancy restaurants around there.

- Sorry.
- I can do fancy.

I bought an extra long flannel
that I can just belt like a dress.

Uh, I don't think so.

All right. How about lunch?

I'll let you know
when things let up.

Oh, wait. I got you those
Jingle Jangle pretzel twists

that you wanted
from Trader Joe's.

It's okay, Mom.
I can pack my own backpack.

Oh, no.
You're too important now.

You gotta get used to
letting people do things for you.

Where'd you get this?

"Balenciaga"?
It's super expensive, right?

Some of the corporate guys
at the office

were teasing me
about my Old Navy backpack.

I was just trying
to get one nice thing so they'd get off my back.

Holy crap.
That little bag is $1,300.

I hope there was $1,200 in there
when you bought it.

It's-It's not even real.

I bought it in the alley
behind the 7-Eleven.

If you look closer,
it says Balenci-gaga.

Oh, 7-Eleven. That's where people
get all their fashion knockoffs.

Can we go there tomorrow?
I'd like to get a pair of counterfeit Skechers.

Nobody makes
counterfeit Skechers.

A knockoff would be
almost the same price as the real thing.

Oh, "almost." Well, excuse me,
Mr. One Percenter.

Okay, Mom. I really gotta go.

Yeah, I bet you do.

Harris and I
were really surprised you came down to pitch in.

She says that's 'cause
you really care,

and I bet her five bucks
it's 'cause you're still fighting with Neville.

Well, uh, Becky,
sometimes in a marriage,

the mature thing to do
is separate and cool off.

And throw
his favorite giraffe figurine into the fireplace.

[mouthing] Thank you.

Hey, can we talk?

We have some stuff to work out,

but I think you should
talk to your wife first.

Yes, Neville, we can,
but just for a second

'cause it's really busy in here.

Okay.
I've been thinking about things,

and it's not fair to ask you
to forget about being a cop

if I'm gonna be spending
all that time at the zoo,

which I agree,
also has an element of danger.

- Thank you.
- So, here's the deal.

I'll quit the job at the zoo,
and you forget about the whole cop thing.

I can't believe you'd
give that up for me.

- That's who I am.
- Well, that's what I love about you,

and you should do that,
but I'm still gonna be a cop.

Wait, that's not how this works.

I give up the thing
I love more than anything,

and you give up the thing that
flew into your mind yesterday,

and we both lose
and are unhappy.

That's what makes a marriage.

It didn't just
fly into my mind yesterday.

You know I'm always talking
about what it was like being a cop,

and how much I miss it.

Well, you gotta compromise,
damn it.

I mean, forget about the field.

You could actually die
during the physical.

I'm in great shape!
Do I need to prove it?

Wow. That was weird
and impressive.

Now, what if the menu
had just robbed a bank and said,

"I'd rather die
than go back to the joint"?

Okay. That's enough. I'm sorry.

Excu... Sir, you're causing a
disturbance at this place of business,

and I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave!

Fine. But you owe me

a beautifully carved porcelain figurine
of a giraffe wearing a top hat.

The monocle was painted on.
I did that myself.

Oh, hey.
Do you mind if I join ya?

Sure, I'm just sitting here
all alone. [chuckles]

Um...

My, uh, barfly buddy left early
to go to couples therapy.

He likes to go in
a little drunk,

so he has an excuse
when he says horrible things about his wife.

[chuckles] I get it.

I mean, that's why I'm here.
Jackie won't even talk to me.

I can't believe she didn't
tell me she was thinking about being a cop again.

Sorry, what?

Are you... Are you okay? You look
like something's got you in a dark place.

Oh, how can you tell?

Are you sure
it's not just my normal "resting Darlene face"?

Oh. [chuckles]

No, "resting Darlene face"
looks like this.

Okay. Now watch the difference.

Yeah. Yeah, I see it.
It's subtle.

Yeah. Yeah.

- So, what's going on?
- [clears throat]

[scoffs] It's Mark.

He's acting really weird and
secretive about where he works,

and then he's out all night,

and I don't even have Ben around
to try to help me deal with it.

I'm here. Keep going.

All right. Well, this morning,

I found a Balenciaga man purse
in his backpack.

That is weird. I mean, you don't
hide a Balenciaga bag, you rock it.

Those things go for, like,
1,500 on the RealReal.

How do you know that?

You don't know everything
about me.

Just 'cause
I'm a down-to-earth guy

doesn't mean I didn't intern
for Anna Wintour.

But, look,
Mark is saving up for school.

He can't afford
something like that.

Well, maybe somebody
bought it for him.

Who would buy Mark
something that expensive?

I don't know. I mean,
maybe somebody with the means

to shower a young man
with gifts.

You know, like a sugar daddy?

Whoa.

You know, my mom always said
that if we worked hard

and had bigger boobs,
we could get one someday.

But without a sugar daddy,
how're we gonna get bigger boobs?

It was a circle
we just could not close.

[scoffs]

Do you really think
that's a possibility?

I mean, he's a cute young guy
who needs help with college.

He's a vulnerable target

for some old lech
with impeccable taste in designer bags.

Oh, man.

Well, if I've got a 65-year-old
son-in-law coming,

I should know about it.

I gotta talk to him.

Aw. That's so cute you think
they're gonna get married. [chuckles]

Oh, I didn't see your truck.

I figured you weren't home.

It's in the shop.

I forgot my fancy water bottle.

I didn't peg you for
a zebra print YETI kinda gal.

I like quality things,
and I'm fun.

Okay, neither of those things
are true,

but they are for whoever
left this at the Lunch Box.

Uh. Hey. Uh...

Boy, I know I'm gonna regret
asking this, but what did you mean when you said,

"spin it" about whose fault
your mother's death was?

Look, I know addiction
is complicated.

But there had to be
a moment where someone could've done something

to stop the worst
from happening.

And what could that "someone"
have done?

Maybe realize that if someone
had an addiction before surgery,

they would still have one after.

She told me
once her knee was fixed, she was done with them.

And you believed that.

Just come out and say
whatever the hell you're gonna say.

Okay. You were with her
all day and all night.

How could you not see
that she was still on something?

[sighs]

Sometimes we want things
to go away so we don't have to deal with them.

Wait, where were you
during all of this? Oh, that's right.

You were too busy
with your own addiction

to notice what was going on
with your mother.

"Sometimes
we just want things to go away

so we don't have to
deal with them."

- Yeah, she was your wife.
- She was your mother.

Keep your own side of the street
clean before you accuse other people.

I knew you wouldn't be open
to talking about this.

I'm way open to talking about it.
I'm not open to being accused.

And by the way, your water jug
may smell like beer.

Why is that?

I went for a walk, and it's
important to stay hydrated.

There, now if anything
happens to me,

you can tell everybody
you saw the signs.

Oh, hey. Hi.

Hey. Hi, we met at The Lobo.

[sighs] Yeah, you're that crazy
old woman who wants to be a cop.

No, no, no, no, no.
I'm not trying to bother you.

And it's not like
I'm trying to be a cop. I already applied.

And now since you're here,
I could really use a favor.

Well, with everything
you've done for me, how could I say no?

Great. Okay.

So, my husband is trying to
stop me from going back on the force.

Because he's afraid I'm gonna get hurt,
and he's gonna be here any minute now.

So I was just thinking,
maybe you could talk to him

and tell him how the job
isn't all that dangerous.

You know, like in Lanford,

some cops can go
their entire careers without pulling their guns.

So what I'm hearing is,
if you don't get your husband's support,

you don't end up on the force?

- Yeah.
- I'd be happy to help.

[chuckling] Okay. That's...

Sisters in blue
helping each other out.

[grunts]

[laughs]

Hey, lunch is on me.

And here he is now.
Honey, honey, come here a minute.

There's somebody
I want you to meet.

So, this is my very good friend,

um... "Binkowski."

[chuckles]

- It's nice to meet you,
Officer Binkowski. - Nice to meet you.

Anyway, Sarge here
was just going on about another boring shift,

and then that got us to talking
about how you might have the wrong idea

about how dangerous
the job really is.

Mostly, you know, it's a lot of
community-relations stuff and...

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

Community relations
when you're right in the middle of the community

trying to take down
some coked-up wife chasing her cheating husband

into a Forever 21
with a crossbow.

Good Lord.

Yeah, yeah. But there are ways
for you to deal with the stress.

Whenever I leave the house,

my husband takes
his anxiety meds with a fifth of scotch.

Anyway, I gotta go.

It was nice to meet you.

Yeah, you're buying
your own damn lunch, Sarge.

Oh, it was worth it.

Why is this so important to you
that you won't let it go?

Just give me one good reason
why I should be okay with this.

Okay. I have two reasons
right there.

These two come in every day,
and they don't say a word to each other.

And then last week,
I was on a break.

I was eating soup, and I was
watching them eat soup,

and I'm thinking to myself,
"My God, that could be me and Neville

if we give up leading
interesting, challenging lives."

Well, does "interesting and challenging"
have to involve coke and a crossbow?

No, but a little bit of danger,
you know,

keeps us alive and-and excited
about sharing things with each other.

That's what I want for us.

And also,
after I shot myself in the leg,

I lost respect from
all the other officers there,

and, man, I would
really love to rewrite that.

[sighs] Okay. I get it.
Go be a cop.

I'm gonna get us something
sweet to celebrate. [laughs]

Aw, it won't be as sweet as you.

Well, I hope you're happy.
You may have just killed my wife.

- Hey, Mark.
I need to talk to you. - Um, it'll have to wait.

I really need to go do
some stuff for work.

Uh, no, it's important.

So,

what's the old geezer's name?

Did you meet him having coffee
at McDonald's at 5 a.m.

or pulling up in his Bentley
at the dialysis center?

- I-I'm scared.
Did you have a stroke? - [phone chimes]

Oh. Don't go anywhere.
Aunt Jackie keeps texting me.

She says it's urgent. So...

Oh, man. [scoffs]
She didn't even give me a week.

A week for what?
What's going on, Mark?

Aunt Jackie found out
I'm making money illegally

by hacking
corporate computer data,

and she said she was gonna tell
you or turn me in if I didn't stop.

What? Wait. You're a hacker?

I knew you didn't want me
to come to your work.

Yeah, yeah, but I'm just
hacking email lists.

I-I lied about it because I
didn't want you to worry.

Oh, yeah.
What would I worry about?

Are you out of your damn mind?

It was the only way to make enough
to afford the University of Chicago

and not burden the family.

Really pretty considerate
if you ask me. You're welcome.

What? [laughs] Do you think
this is like a joke?

There are so many other things
you could've done.

You could've dated
a rich old guy. I would've been fine with that.

That would've been great to know
before I did the hacking.

Look, you have to stop.
It's against the law.

[stammers] Yeah, I'll quit as
soon as I make enough tuition money.

But for now,
it's what I've gotta do.

Okay,
what is happening with you?

You took somebody else's
ADHD meds,

the police
brought you back drunk

after you ditched a scooter
in a pond,

and now this?

Do you understand
that if you get arrested,

you could go to prison, and then
you could forget about school

or anything else?

All right?
It's got to stop. That's it.

Or what?

[scoffs]

Or you can't live here.

You're making me leave? Fine.

Harris left.
You chased Dad away. I guess it's just my turn.

Hey!

What's that supposed to mean?

[scoffs] I don't know. "Hi"?

I just came from
a 12-step meeting

and I realized I need to
make amends for something.

I'm waiting.

I never made amends
for chipping your bowling ball when I was ten.

Hmm.

Darlene said
I couldn't dribble it down the driveway.

That's okay. I appreciate that.

Anything else?

We were talking at the meeting
about guilt and responsibility.

I shouldn't have blamed you
for Mom's death.

I'm sorry.

Um... I think I did it because,
like you said,

if I hadn't been drinking,
I think I could've helped her.

You couldn't have helped her.

I'm sorry. I just said that
'cause I was mad.

But we're never gonna lose the
feeling that we could've done more.

[groans] I just couldn't believe
that someone as strong as her couldn't beat it.

Hmm. If those bastards
could've made the pills taste like broccoli,

she'd still be alive today.

[laughs]

I'm gonna go make amends.

Uh, you wanna come with me
to the gravesite?

Oh, sure.
Hey, can you wait until tonight?

I like to steal flowers for her
from them rich peoples' graves.

- [laughs]
- Hey, is Mark here?

No. Why?

'Cause I threatened to kick him
out of the house yesterday, and he left.

He's probably fine.

I'm sure he just wants you
to worry for a while.

You kids you to put us
through that all the time.

Well, if you were worried,
how come you never looked for us?

We left the door unlocked.
It's not like we weren't trying.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Uh... I'll have a burger, plain,
fries, and a side of ranch.

Oh, you like ranch
on your fries?

- Yeah.
- [chuckles]

You know, I don't think
we've ever talked before.

You're right. [chuckles]

We probably have
a million things in common.

Yeah.

[chuckles]

Why don't you
just make it to go.

- Oh. Wait in your car, I'll have
the busboy bring it out to you. - Thanks.

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