Original subtitles

-[yelling] -[Hilaria] What's the matter, Romeo?

The past few years have been the hardest

and most complicated that we have yet to experience.

[reporter 1] Breaking news, right now, we're learning more about a deadly accident

on a movie set in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

[reporter 2] Baldwin is facing an involuntary manslaughter charge.

[reporter 3] Mr. Baldwin, would you like to say anything?

I prayed and prayed about this until I was gonna pass out.

Your motion to dismiss with prejudice is granted.

[Hilaria] Where do you go from a tragedy?

[crying]

We made it home. We made it home.

These kids, they put up with a lot.

We're going through some very stressful things,

and we're trying to parent through it.

All we can do is do our best

and try to make our kids happy.

[Alec] We have a lot of decisions we have to make before we go back to the city.

I do not want to go back to the life I had. I don't.

I don't care.

-Your priorities are shifting. -Right.

-Like, I mean, you have a lot of the individuals that... -Are counting on us.

[man] The two of you together.

I've seen you on so many different sets from 30 Rock,

to different movies that you've done to SNL.

One of my hopes for you is that you can feel okay loving acting.

Well...

[Hilaria] Last day of camp today.

Don't want to go on your camp.

And then what? You're gonna go to school soon.

Do you remember what kind of backpack you have?

A poo backpack. I bet you they make that.

-We could probably get that one. -[both laughing]

[crying]

? Let out the sunshine ?

-[Alec] Where are the keys? -I have the keys somewhere.

[Alec] This is the last day of camp, and I'm gonna say one thing.

It was a very interesting summer.

How do you hope that they remember it?

That it was an interesting summer, that they had a good time.

They had their summer.

We are a big family who's been through a lot of things.

My snack. My snack.

[groans angrily]

[Hilaria] How about we give her that bag and we go get you a new bag?

Okay. I'll go get you a new bag.

And so it's interesting to come to this point

where the future is going to allow us to make more choices.

Whereas we haven't had the ability to make many choices

over the past few years.

And hopefully, that means we can just live a little more free.

[Alac] What happened to your hair, man?

Your hair is like a wig. You're like a flock of seagulls.

-[Hilaria] Are you excited to go to camp today? -[dog whines]

Where are you going then?

[Hilaria] All of our kids have such strong personalities,

and with this many kids, sometimes they are going to dig their heels in.

-Sometimes they are going to yell. -Let me help you.

[Hilaria] And sometimes they are going to melt down.

I don't wanna go on my camp.

You don't take it personally.

For me, sometimes I just turn off my brain a little bit.

Not to the point where I'm not present,

but, like, I just, like, I'm just gonna lower my imaginary volume button.

[Alec] Get in the car, Smooshy.

Soon, we're off to New York.

Who knows what's the right thing to do when we go back to the city?

Like, you're gonna go back to work, and you want to do this.

You wanna do that? I'm kind of like, "I don't know."

I don't really know.

[Hilaria] Lulu, seatbelt on, please.

Okay.

[Lulu] I'm not going to the camp.

[Alec] Swell.

Do you wanna get down there and do some yoga?

So I can tell you that doing... watching somebody else do yoga...

-Is my favorite thing. -...is literally not the same as doing yoga.

You've had two hips that were fixed

and you didn't do enough physical therapy.

So when I stop having to put your socks on in the morning...

-No, you don't. -There are other socks now.

'Cause it's summertime, and there's no socks in the summertime.

But come fall, when your feet start getting cold again,

flexibility is one of the most important things for health,

for the aging. You see somebody who's flexible who's older.

[Alec] When you're my age, we'll talk.

[Hilaria] Can I tell you our trauma is our sadness in your hips.

This summer, we've lived with tremendous anxiety, tremendous stress.

And I know that if I run exercise,

do yoga every day...

...I can be pretty centered and focused.

And if I don't,

I feel like I'm in a cloud and everything feels very loud.

My entire life, I've learned that this is something that stabilizes me.

I know that if I take,

could just be 30 minutes a day to move my body,

I'm gonna be a better mom. I'm gonna be a better spouse.

And then, as the yoga teacher, I want to share.

Alec coming and working out,

being a little bit more active can only help.

He's taken like exercise, a couple of yoga classes with me

over the past 13 years. Um, not his thing.

We tried to run together a few times. It's just not his thing.

Let's see how much you know from being married to me for so many years.

-Child's pose. [snoring] -Child's pose. Okay.

And it's not just the age difference.

It's just that he's a theater kid and I'm a jock.

And that's it.

The question is, can you bring your hips more towards your heels?

[Alec groans] Not really.

-Just relax your face. -[Alec laughs]

-Does it hurt if I sit on you? -[Alec] Oh, no.

[Hilaria] Try to completely release down because you do definitley

hold trauma up here in your shoulders.

[Alec] Well, where do I have trauma? In my ass or my shoulders? Which is it?

-Are you feeling it in both? There it is. -[Alec] Yes.

Definitely trauma's right there.

[Alec] What I've been dealing with over the last couple of years,

it really, really negatively affected my health.

And I wasn't like that.

No matter what I had, my hip hurt.

This hurt. I had energy.

And now, this sucked a lot of the energy out of me.

And so, a year from now, I want to be...

I want to have put a lot of focus on my health

and have that be very different.

-Okay. I want you to try to sit up. -[Alec] Okay.

I have faith in you.

I think I'm gonna throw up.

[Hilaria] You're not gonna throw up. [laughs]

-Come up. -[exhales]

Now, I'm taking my knees where you can feel my knees.

-[Alec] In my ass. -In your butt.

-[grunts] -[laughs]

Your knee in my ass feels kind of good.

-[Hilaria] There's nothing better than a butt massage. -[groans]

Cats are touching my pillows.

[Hilaria] The cats do their own yoga.

Now you teach me yoga.

[Alec] Okay, now...

But don't... don't you dare put all your weight 'cause you will break me.

[Alec] I won't. Okay. So...

Let's just... yes.

-Don't you feel that? -[Hilaria chuckles]

-[Alec] Do you feel that? -[laughs]

-[Alec] Do you feel that? -[laughing]

Do you feel that?

-Get out of here. -You're an ass.

I do feel that, yep.

Now fold your blankets.

Let's sit and talk about something.

Can we talk about something seriosuly?

-Sit down. -Wait. Can I sit?

-Can I do this so that you can... foot rub. -Rub your feet.

So, I played sports, and I was athletic,

and I was trimmer and fitter and stronger and everything

until I was about 40.

And then I got to be 40 and slowly,

I worked a lot.

I had a kid. You know, my life changed a little bit.

And so to be married to somebody who's as physically fit as you,

as I'm kind of like slipping, you know, like my strengths

and my coordination and things like that,

it is bizarre.

People who say that age doesn't matter,

that's like the stupidest thing to say because of course it matters.

You just get older.

You don't really... what can you do about it?

There's no button you can press to go backwards.

And if I go out into the world, and try to get a job acting,

you got to be aware of that.

And I just want to, you know, um, get healthy.

I'll never forget we did. Woody's movie Blue Jasmine.

And he goes, "You know, I thought your character is a...

a bit of sort of a lady's man, so I'd like you to lose weight.

And I did. Remember that? Remember when I did that? Oh, my God.

-I did the... I did the... -You didn't lose weight because of Woody.

Hold on. Well, I'm gonna just tell my... This is my Woody story.

I didn't have no pasta, no potatoes, no candy, no sugar.

And I lost probably 25 pounds.

And you look at me in that movie...

-More. Thirty. I think I lost thirty. -Forty pounds.

Well, I thought I lost 30, but I didn't want to brag.

You see me in the movie. and I look trim, comparatively speaking.

But I did have the barbecue sauce in my hair, right?

I like him better, salt and pepper.

I dyed my hair, but I thought to myself

the guy would dye his hair, so I did that.

-But, um... -No. You used to dye your hair because you liked it.

And you were dating a 27-year-old yoga instructor.

-Yeah, that's why. -And you did that literally.

And that's why you lost weight.

I've seen a difference in you in the past weeks.

-Right? -Yes.

And I'm seeing there's something lighter in you.

I'm seeing you more at the gym.

I'm seeing you more calmer.

You've had fun this summer, but it took a second.

-I mean, it's gonna take us a really long time... -Yeah.

...to let this sink in and learn how to live again.

You know, we lived for so long

with this tremendous amount of stress

and unknowing and just confusion.

And so when we get home, we can learn what the new normal is,

and then to realize that we can make choices

that perhaps are healthier choices

-for both of us. -Yep.

[Hilaria] Shavasana is not yet, my friend.

[child squealing]

-Stop! Stop! -[squeals]

All these things that you guys are learning at camp, stop.

Not camp, YouTube.

-Yeah, YouTube is like... -YouTube shorts.

I mean, I started watching PG- 13 things by the time I was, like six.

Wait, what about Borat?

-You have not seen Borat. -Yes, we have.

[laughing]

And it was all dad's idea.

I think part of the thing is having an actor... a dad for a parent.

Alec and I are very different parents.

I'll walk in and they're watching a movie,

and I freak out and I say, "This is not okay."

And they look at me and they're like,

"Mom, I've already watched it three times."

[chuckles] Like...

[vocalizes] "Don't do that!"

So do you guys think that you guys are going to be all messed up

-because Daddy lets you watch these things? -Kind of.

-[Hilaria] Oh. my God. -[cell phone buzzing]

Hi.

Hi. Yeah. What's up?

Hey, you showed the kids Borat?

I know they can't unsee it.

-I know they can't unsee it... -[laughs]

...but can you stop showing them things?

Okay, I appreciate that it's funny,

but you know what else will be funny, when they're like 15.

-It is funny. -[yells]

All right, Bye.

My dad, he would probably show us any movie.

I watched Workin' Moms when I was like nine.

Watched Insatiable when I was like six.

Yeah. My dad lets me watch anything basically.

For some reason, my mom says "No Orange Is the New Black,"

but I've watched worse.

She just doesn't know that.

Dad showed me Borat for the first time when I was like five.

Oh, my God.

By the way, I want my birthday to maybe be cloud themed.

[Hilaria] Okay. Cotton candy. I love this.

Cotton candy.

And they'll sing Rain, rain, go away.

or some, like, some cloud-theme song. It'll be great."

-I'm seeing it. It's all coming together. -[both laughing]

In a few days. It's Carmen's birthday.

She's going to be 11.

[laughing]

Maybe like a little happy birthday as well.

-Yeah. -And she's just such a solid, like, soul.

The past years have been challenging, especially for Carmen,

who was the most aware of what was going on.

I'm very excited to celebrate this day with her.

-Are you gonna invite other people, too? -Yeah.

-Or just the boys? -Fleur's gonna be there.

-Um, who else? -[Alec] Carmen. Carmen. Just Carmen.

She's talking about... she's talking about her birthday.

One more hair flip, hair flip, hair flip, hair flip.

[laughing]

It's gonna happen later. It's my birthday.

'Cause, um, I love and hate my birthday at the same time.

I hate my birthday because it means it's closer to school.

My least favorite day of the year, though, is September, um, 5th,

the day school starts.

And then my other least favorite one is December 26

because they're after, like, Christmas.

We're gonna have cake. What kind of cake should she have?

-Chocolate. -Chocolate and chocolate.

-And you're gonna eat it. -Yeah.

Balloons.

We've had a great 11 years.

We've had some bad moments.

But through it all, we found happiness.

I just hope as we head back to the city, things can be more calm.

How do you think she's going to be when she starts school?

Can I visit you in your classroom every day?

Yeah.

I want to say hi to all your fake friends.

-They're not fake. -No, Carmen.

-Don't teach her that. -Carmen, you're a bitch.

[both laughing]

Bitch.

[laughing]

Carmen, you're trying to be funny, but she thinks it's mean

-because it's kind of mean -It's not mean.

-You are being mean. -It's so awesome.

-Carmen, stop. -Oh, girl, bye.

Carmen, stop.

I'm gonna go put you in baby timeout.

Mommy, can you scratch my back?

Mom! Let me just try this really quick.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

-Who caught that? Who caught that? -What?

Neal said he and Dianne would love to grab a coffee with you.

11:30ish works great for them.

and they're happy to go anywhere downtown.

[Alec] I realize what I miss is acting.

I want to go and work, but not unless it's really worth it.

Like, the things that are fresh and new

and challenging and interesting.

I want to go deeper into the work,

and scripts that allow you to go deeper and in film intelligent

are few and far between today.

It's a journey for me. This is a process.

[Emily] Great.

Alec has been offered a few movies,

and he's very excited about them.

Even when he has his moments of like "I don't know if I should go back,"

and understandably so.

I do not want to go back to the life I had. I don't.

I used to be. Not anymore. Yeah. Not anymore.

That's one thing you have to understand about Alec.

He feels like this in each moment.

For me, what am I gonna do that works?

One of my hopes for you is that you can embrace

and feel okay with loving acting.

It's so easier to reject something first.

But then you're also rejecting something in yourself that really loves to do it.

Sometimes we feel things in the moment.

And sometimes it's because we feel rejected

and we want to be like, "Okay I'm gonna go back over here."

We're afraid to be rejected again.

So I'm gonna protect myself.

Ask him, where is his office?

What I'll do is I'll try to build a couple of things in that area if I can.

[Hilaria] Summer is ending.

The timing is right.

So I'm happy for him 'cause he's such a creative

and he loves to act, you know, he can't even help it.

[Emily speaking]

[Alec] Thank you. That's great.

[Hilaria] Soon we'll be back in New York and we can move forward.

The kids will be back in school.

I'm working on a book.

Alec will hopefully be back to work doing what he loves.

And we can continue to heal as a family.

Just leave- Actually, leave me alone.

I wanna try.

Edu, are you excited to go to school?

Are you guys gonna take care of Edu and Lu when they go into school?

[Alec] God.

I'll walk.

Come this time, we're kind of done.

We've had enough pool.

We've had enough. Like, when they go back to the city, they're ready.

They're ready to go back to the city.

-No, we're not. -They loved it out here.

-It will not... everybody in a certain way. -I hate school.

-Um. but school loves you, Carmen. -[Carmen] I just have to work.

We pay money to torture me.

-They give me homework... -Do you realize we don't have...

...when home is supposed to be my relaxation, I get homework.

I just... I don't wanna go to school.

I wish it wasn't the law 'cause it's just so bad.

I love it, but I hate it.

What are you excited about school, huh?

You like camp more?

Are you excited to go back to school?

-No. -[Hilaria] Why?

-I hate learning. -You hate learning?

No, it's just boring.

Whatever.

-Next. -[Hilaria] Who you gonna go to school with?

-Um, the bigger boys. -[Hilaria] The bigger boys.

And what about Lulu?

Yes.

Um...

...well, as long as you sit down and take a deep breath,

which I have to do, and say it's inevitable,

You can do anything.

You have to sit down regularly if you're me

who's a control freak to the nth degree

and sit there and go, "This is it. Enjoy them."

I lost my other shoe.

That's helpful. The baby had it.

So it's in Cleveland.

[Hilaria] Is that your shoe?

At least I don't lose you.

[dog barking]

Remember when you lit the Christmas tree?

When I was doing 30 Rock,

No, you were trying to do it, and then I did it before you.

[Alec] You lit the Christmas tree in 30 Rockefeller Plaza.

Button is a gag button.

It's a prop button. It doesn't actually turn the tree on.

But you hit the button and the guys are ready.

They're all standing by to cue the lights, the technicians.

And Carmen goes, "Bang," and she hits the button,

and you can see all these guys going,

-"The kid hit the button. The kid hit the button." -[chuckles]

You're completely freaked out.

Like, a hundred union electrical employees.

-"The kid hit the button." -[Carmen laughing]

"Juice it up now."

-"Full power now." -[laughs]

-That's what you did. -I don't care.

-It's not my fault Ava and Ali didn't believe me. -That defines this kid.

You completely threw off the whole Christmas tree lighting.

Gave a hundred men a heart attack,

and you're like, "I don't care."

-Wait. -[Carmen chuckles]

[Alec] This is Briggs's Marina.

This is East Hampton Marina. right in here.

[Hilaria] Wait, this is not a history lesson.

[Alec] Boats. Ice.

All right, honey, today's a big day for you.

-You want to know why? -[Hilaria] Tell me.

I'm gonna teach you how to drive the boat.

[Hilaria] Remember when you fell in?

-[Alec] Here? -That was the scariest thing.

[Hilaria] You fell in here, yes.

-You fell in here. Yes, you did. -No.

You wanna know what's at the bottom of this harbor

and what's at the bottom of this dock?

Some of the most expensive sunglasses

-you've ever seen in your life. -Yes.

Alec is from Long Island,

and Long Island has a very nautical culture to it.

Going out and being out there in the water

is one of his happy places.

He feels free, and he loves it so much.

He goes out there and he breathes the sea air.

And he can go out there and nobody's there to recognize him.

Nobody's there to treat him different, better or for worse.

He can just go out there and be.

We sit over here.

-All right? -Everything goes in here.

This goes in here.

You gotta put the fan on. Hold on one second. No, no, no, no, no.

Not that yet. Not yet.

You're gonna blind me, and I gotta get the boat started.

No, no, no. But this is why you get burned.

In a second.

That's not maritime law.

Here we go.

I hate that stuff. You know I do.

I know. But you know what? It's trying to save your life.

-I feel like a French fry. No, no, no. -Just, you know.

-Just your face. -[vocalizes]

-Close your eyes and close your mouth. -I'm closing them.

I don't do this to the kids, but I will to you.

-Wait a minute. -You can handle it.

Look.

I hate that [bleep].

Okay, now, sit down, please.

I'm gonna push off with just a little bit.

Okay, this is only, like, 4-feet deep here.

I'm gonna go up and see how this goes up?

That means the propeller is coming up out of the water.

We have a few more days here, and we are a family.

We spend a lot of time together,

but it's nice for Alec and I to have a little fun for ourselves

and spend time together at the end of the summer.

When I met you,

I'm like, "Okay, my boyfriend has this house out here,

-and my boyfriend has a boat." -[Alec] Boyfriend?

[chuckling] God, I wish I was your boyfriend again.

[Hilaria] You were my boyfriend.

-I wish I was your boyfriend again. -[Hilaria] And- Okay.

All of that. Then you bring me out on a boat.

I don't have that much experience with boats.

And you get stuck a lot in the sand.

For those who do not have a boat,

there's something called Cito,

which is, kind of, like...

-[both] Triple-A for your boat. -Right.

And it's gonna take a while. We have no kids.

We first started... We're just starting to date.

Alec gets some ideas.

He's like "It's gonna take a long time,"...

Hilaria is the most smoking-hot woman in the world,

...and one thing leads to another...

[chuckling] and we're on the floor of the boat.

I mean, who can blame me?

We're laying down on the floor of the boat.

-We're laying on the floor. -We're stargazing, except it's bright daylight.

-We're star- we're rehearsing our stargazing. -[Hilaria laughs]

[Alec] And Cito said, "Oh, maybe about 45 to an hour,"

and sure enough, 15, 20 minutes goes by and it's like, bam, bam, bam!

They have a horn they blow, and we're like, [bleep]...

-[laughing] -..."We have to stop."

And I was like, "I'm just gonna stay pinned to the ground like this."

[laughs]

-I don't know what to say. -[Hilaria laughs]

I don't know what to say, but it was fun.

It was fun.

[both] It was fun.

I'll never forget a famous actress who I knew,

it was Kathleen Turner,

and I said to Kathleen, "You know, you divorced Jay," her husband of many years ago,

and, "what is it like for you? Do you wanna meet somebody

and have a... get married again or have a relationship?"

And she said, "Oh, no, baby."

She said, "I love nothing more than putting my key

in the door in my apartment and knowing

that there's nobody on the other side of that door.

It's just me."

I don't want to live that way.

When I open the door,

I know what's on the other side of that door,

and that's what I want.

That's what I want. I want to see her.

I want what we have.

All right, see this, where there's a little marker there?

This is the ski path. And we've skied here before.

-Oh it's fun. -No, not me.

-[Alec] It's not you. My other girlfriend. -Literally, not me.

-[chuckling] Wasn't me. -My other girlfriend.

-[Hilaria] I've never gone skiing with you. -My age-appropriate girlfriend

-taking me to Sunset Beach. -It must have been another girl.

It must have been. Well, that's the fascinating thing.

Once you're with somebody for a long time, it's...

I think, especially if you have a family,

is you start to think that

that person was always there.

You're like, "This is what we do,"

-'cause we're always together. -You're always there. You're always there.

-We went to the prom together. -[Hilaria] Oh.

-You were a fetus. -[chuckling] Gross.

I was an idea.

-I wasn't even an idea. -[Alec] You were a concept.

I wasn't. I wasn't even that.

-Really? -That's how big our age difference is.

I don't know. When did you go to the prom?

Prom was in '76, okay?

[Hilaria] '76.

Yeah, I was still...

-[Alec] Your parents were in school -I was still eight years away.

Your parents were in college.

[Hilaria] Especially after everything that we've been through, like,

being able to look at Alec...

and say, "Hey,

we are always together in soul, in spirit...

and we enjoy each other."

And I'm hoping that through this challenging time,

I'm hoping that that strength

will propel him on...

where he can get very, very serious

about how does he want to live this next chapter in his life,

what kinds of jobs will fulfill his soul.

And we're good.

We're gonna get that prop up out of the water.

-Don't choke me while I'm driving the boat. -[laughs]

Save that for later.

[laughing]

[Alec speaking]

[Emily] We added dinner with Lorne to this Sunday.

[Alec] We're going to Lorne's house for dinner. Okay.

Alec Baldwin is back from the dead.

[laughs]

[Alec] SNL is always the same.

You know, Lorne is in love with my wife more than we're friends.

He loves my wife, and he's very kind to my family.

And we love his wife, Alice.

-We love his family. -We love his family. We love him. We love him.

We spend Thanksgiving with them.

I think it's safe to say, you know, he's such a good friend to me

he's been so kind to me and so... embraced me and my work and so forth,

and put me on that show.

[Hilaria] Leo...

[in Spanish]

[in English] Today is Carmen's birthday.

Today is Carmen's birthday, and she's 11.

And I'm actually not sad for this.

But sometimes I get very sad when the birthdays come,

'cause when they're, like, growing up, I'm like...

She was so excited to turn 11...

[in Spanish]

[children mumbling]

[in English] You wanna use that one?

That is a really good heart. Thank you.

-You're welcome. -Okay.

It's her birthday. She's 11.

Carmen is 11.

[in Spanish]

I can't believe how much I've learned in the last 11 years.

[Hilaria] Carmen, what day does Daddy play Donald Trump?

Saturday.

And we go like this with our hands,

-and we say, "Saturday." -Saturday.

-"Saturday." -[imitates Alec]

[both] "Saturday."

-"Okay, everybody..." -[mumbling]

-"...it's Saturday." -Saturday.

[chuckling]

[all laughing]

-I heard it was someone's birthday! -[Hilaria] Ahh!

Oh, my gosh! Emily brought the party.

[Emily] Carmen, happy birthday!

I'm at that point in motherhood

where I realize that as they get older,

the relationship becomes so cool,

not better, not worse, just, like, really fun

and cool in a different way.

-Hi, Fleur. -Carmen, look!

-Hi. -How are you?

[Lulu] Carmen, look, I did it for you.

-Um, wait, Carmen... -Thank you so much.

-[Lulu] You're welcome. -I love you so much, Lulu.

Yeah.

It feels like it's been 11 years.

[babbling]

[in Spanish]

[Hilaria in English] I think it feels like it's been 11 years

because I can't remember with that...

muscle memory of what it's like to not be a mom.

[crying] Mama...

[indistinct]

-[continues weeping] -[chuckling]

I think so much has happened.

I mean, all the... the six siblings that came after that...

uh, so, no, it definitely feels like it's been 11 years.

-[sobbing playfully] -[Carmen] I love her so much.

-Oh! Oh! -[kids chattering]

People are like, "I can't believe she's 11 already."

And I'm like, "I can. I believe you're 11.

Sometimes, I think you're 17."

[Carmen] You guys are the best.

I love you so much.

-What are we gonna do? -Um, um, eat some cake.

Yeah, let's eat some cake.

What kind of cake did you get, Mommy?

-Ah. -Chocolate cake. Can you open these?

I'm not doing well with it.

[Romeo] Dad, I could open it.

-[Emily] Do you wanna see Daddy? -Can you open it, Muscle Man?

-[indistinct shouting] -Get out of here.

-I could open it. -Are you stronger than me?

Um, Carmen.

[producer] What's your favorite thing about Carmen?

Um... No, Puppy.

[Carmen speaking]

Like, one time, Edu just called me,

and then I was like, "Oh,"-

-What flavor is that? -Chocolate.

Mama, I wanna do it! I wanna do it!

-Shh. No, no, it's Carmen's birthday. -No, I'm gonna do...

-I'm doing the matches. -[Alec] The lighting.

-Yo, someone's gonna blow it. -You look so beautiful right now.

[Alec] Okay.

Welcome to Carmen's 12th birthday, everybody.

[indistinct chatter]

[in sing-song voice] The candles aren't lighting, and everyone's fighting.

-[indistinct shouting] -[chuckles]

-[Alec] Mommy? -[Hilaria] Okay, ready?

Ready? I'll continue to light while we sing.

[all] ? Happy Birthday?

-? To you ? -? To me ?

Just light that one. I don't care.

-? Happy birthday to you ? -? Happy birthday to me ?

? Happy birthday ?

-? Dear Carmen ? -? Dear myself ?

? There's only One candle left ?

-? Happy Birthday to you ? -? Happy Birthday to me ?

-[all cheering] -Are you one? are you two?

-Are you one? Are you two? -Whoo!

All right, if anyone wants cake, you have to smile and look at Ruth.

And you have to say...

She's punching him in the face.

-You have to say, "Baldwinitos." -No, don't.

[kids] Baldwinitos!

Say, "Happy birthday!"

-Happy birthday, Carmen! -[kids] Happy birthday!

[Hilaria] We tried to keep 'em in somewhat of a bubble,

as much of a bubble as we could create.

But as we prepare to go back to the city,

I'm starting to wonder if that's where we belong.

And I want to try to protect everybody.

Is that Vermont?

Is that here?

Is it New York?

I don't know where we belong.

[indistinct shouting]

Let's go have some cake!

[Alec] Thank you. This is gorgeous.

[host] Yes, I agree.

-[Alec] I love it. -[host] Nice to have you both here.

[Alec] Thank you. Thank you.

You two, enjoy dinner.

[both] Thank you.

Look at how beautiful this is.

-I know. It's gorgeous. -We have to come here all the time now.

[stutters] I love this.

I'll never forget this summer.

It's been very, very tough. But we were together.

Wow.

And now that this is over, I'm like, "I'm ready for us to go and live,

and to really just, uh, do whatever we wanna do."

What are you excited for...

about New York?

Pasta.

-Cantinori. -Il Cantinori.

[Hilaria] We eat out all the time,

and I think it's one of the amazing things

that's allowed us to stay very strong

through so many years and so many experiences.

Cheers.

Being able to share a meal with each other,

and talking and connecting.

It's been a weird summer, hasn't it?

It has been. I mean, just, like, take a minute to reflect

on, like, what this past summer has been.

We didn't know

which was up and down and left and right.

We had that crazy week,

and then we come back.

[all screaming]

Now, we are a month away, and I don't know about you,

but I feel much more settled and stronger.

I feel like I can think clearer.

I think it's gonna take me a while.

It will take me a while for this to get out of my system.

All of this last year, I was really, really down,

and I just completely ran out of energy.

I mean, I'm 66 years old.

And when we went down there and had the trial, and it was over,

it was like, I want to go to bed for a month.

But you can't press pause.

There's no pause button in life.

There's no reverse button.

It only goes forward.

And this is it. They're all gonna go to school.

They're all gonna grow up.

And it's such a privilege to see these kids grow up this way.

The job is to know that,

and know that it's ephemeral.

But don't let that stop you from investing more and more,

and deeper and deeper.

[laughing]

[Hilaria] I don't want to go backwards. I only wanna go forward.

I only wanna lean into the positivity.

I only wanna lean into opportunity.

Because there's so many people out there who want good.

There are so many good people out there-

-Are there? -Yes, there are.

No, and that's where we can't let these people...

-I know you're good. -...distort the reality.

And the reality is there are more good people than not.

Are you a good person?

You don't know if I'm a good person?

Why are you asking me that?

Say, give me the rest of that bread if you're a good person.

No, I'm not a good person. This is my bread.

Ah!

[Hilaria] I think he's doing better.

I see every single day...

he is less heavy when he wakes up in the morning.

That doesn't mean that he's the Alec...

before all of this happened.

But I think he's starting to get there,

which makes me happy.

That's what I hope for him.

Considering everything, we had a good summer.

And the kids are in one piece.

Nobody broke their arm this year.

So far. Don't jinx it. Don't say that.

[phone vibrating]

[Hilaria] Carmen.

I have 18 messages from her.

Oh, no, and they're all like, "This is important."

[Hilaria] What?

Oh, my God, I have no idea what she's talking about.

[speaking Spanish]

[in English] Look. Hello!

With Carmen, it's almost impossible

to have a conversation without getting interrupted.

-[speaking Spanish] -[Carmen speaking]

Why is Carmen FaceTime-ing me? Hold on.

Carmen does this all the time,

but it still gives me a heart attack.

-Are you okay? -[Carmen] Yeah.

Okay, girl. Bye. [chuckling] God.

When you're 10, 11 years old,

everything is very, very serious.

That's, like, the quintessential thing about having kids.

'Cause you're, like, having, like, a deep conversation,

and they're like, "It's an emergency."

[chuckling] I'm like, "Is it really an emergency?"

Let's talk about something positive.

We're having, like, exciting things coming up.

You're going off and you're gonna do SNL.

Good times.

[chuckles]

Work was always interesting...

'cause it's novel work.

It's very unique.

A lot of people who wanna do this,

and not a lot of them get to do it.

It goes back to, like, you know, the first big movie I did,

that I had a leading role, Hunt for Red October.

Sean Connery, he was the ultimate professional actor

I've ever worked with in my life.

There's others who were as good, Tony and people like that,

but Connery, when he walked in the room, everybody got ready.

Everybody who was talking, stopped talking.

Literally, everybody's like, "Attention!"

It's amazing. I was very lucky.

That's you now.

And I know you're gonna say, "Oh, no, no, no." Yeah.

-See, I know you. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no. " -[Alec] I'm not one of them.

But for other people...

that's what you are. They look at you and they say...

-I don't think so. -..."Here's the great one."

I know. I'm not gonna... You know what?

I'll think it, and I won't say it.

I see you when you're with other actors

-or, you know, you're with... -Well, it's a side of you.

-It's a side of you. -...you're with... you're with

-your friends at SNL - -It's not by nature.

-Yeah. -Right, but you're with... and it lights up.

-You're so happy. -Well, I admire them. I like them.

[Hilaria] I think you're also somebody that, you thrive off of...

sharing energy with people,

and so in the theater, you really can feel the audience.

You know, you love connection with people.

Well, Duchovny said on this podcast I did,

it's about, like, sports. Why I love sports

is why I love acting... It's a team.

Now... I've got seven kids.

-That's the movie I'm in. -[Hilaria] And now- Can I tell you something?

You can be excited about parenting,

and you can still be excited about those things.

I've been on a lot of sets with you, and you know what?

You don't have to admit it, but...

I, as your wife,

I go to set with you,

and I see how excited you are,

and that makes me happy.

I'm lucky I met you.

[in Spanish]

[in English] "We're a good team."

Come to Daddy.

We would say that in my family when I was growing up.

So it was always this saying,

and it felt meaningful to put it there,

and invite him into...

the Buen Equipo, that is my family.

[screaming]

And now we say... [continues in Spanish]

"We're the best team."

[kids chattering]

[indistinct shouting]

Being back in New York makes me so happy

because I love a routine.

[indistinct shouting]

How did you get up there?

[kid] It's not ready yet!

I am elated to be back in the city, elated,

because this is where we live.

This is home. We don't live out there.

We lived in the city.

Now, living in the city with the kids is challenging.

Why do you keep... you keep blowing bubbles and getting gum here.

[crying hysterically]

Okay, see you later.

Mom!

[Paola] You want honey? Here.

[Hilaria] For the first time, I have six kids in school,

But as hectic and crazy as life is right now,

I think it's amazing that they get to go off

and have their day and learn things,

and live their lives, and go for it.

You said you decided to wear them this morning?

[Hilaria] Do they still fit you?

You sure?

Question every day, what are we waiting for?

Same answer. Carmen.

This is what we call The Carmen Hour.

We're in the car at 08:05 a.m., we make it.

If we're one minute late, we don't make it.

They close the door on us every day.

And every day, we're three minutes late because of Carmen.

'Cause Carmen's like...

Get in the car, Carmen.

Get in the car.

Can we go now?

[snarls]

-[hisses] -[snarls]

We're gonna be late anyway. You wanna take it upstairs?

-[growling] -[hissing]

[Hilaria] Okay, wait, what happened to the water?

The kids are off to a really great year,

and they're doing their homework.

They've got their friends.

Everything is really... in a very good place, school-wise.

So Carmen what's your... what are you excited most about for school today?

Recess and gossip. Okay, Raf,

what're you most excited about for school today?

Recess?

I've been trying to keep everything together

for my family.

When the tragedy happened, I realized that

I really had to be the rock in our home.

And so, I hope that after holding everything together

for so long for everybody,

that I can put my oxygen mask on now.

And I have time to really work on my book

that I'm writing right now.

And it's such a gift to be able to focus on that.

-[photographer] Okay. Three, two, one! -[Hilaria trilling]

-Pfft! -[chuckles]

-[photographer] Ilaria! -[Alec] Look at the camera.

[photographer] Okay.

Alec is gonna do SNL.

He's gonna be on SNL.

Carmen, what is this you're doing? Ow!

-[Carmen] I know. -Carmen, that hurts.

-It's fine. Now you're gonna- -Carmen, I'm gonna be swollen on that side of my face.

-No. You're gonna be fine. -Carmen!

[Hilaria] He's gotta be on live TV now, Carmen.

-Carmen, stop! -You are?

[Alec] So they asked me to come back and do Bret Baier on NL.

We met him in the restaurant next door.

We leave the restaurant, uh, Cantinori,

-and there he is... with a bunch of- -After you played him.

Yeah, after I played him. And he was very polite.

-It was some nice time. -I mean, he was a really... He's really nice guy.

[Hilaria] When I see him with his friends at NL,

and when he was on 30 Rock,

and you know, with Lorne Michaels...

Those are his people.

That is his community.

[speaking Spanish]

Boss.

Are you Boss?

-[Hilaria] Her name is Boss. -Wait a second! You're the boss?

Whenever I need some, uh...

affirmations about this life,

my answer is always, "Have a baby."

But I am...

getting up there.

-Hmm. -Can't have too many babies now, but, um...

'cause, you know, one is easy, but, um-

-I mean, I'm sorry. One is not easy. -One is not easy!

One is easy compared to seven.

Yeah, I mean, seven kids is a lot.

But one kid is a lot.

And two kids is a lot, and three kids a lot.

And the reason that it's a lot is because you're trying

to take care of a whole other being.

This is, like, not a small task.

But it's not hard.

Like, [stutters] you just adjust to it, right?

-No, it's always hard. -Always hard? Okay.

-It is hard. It's worth it. -So is that why we're not having any baby?

[chuckles]

Hi, everybody, it's me.

I just wanted to say, "Hi, America."

Silence!

Do you remember when we came here for-

-Oh, what are they- Can we have, like, a- -[chuckling] I almost died.

I want... does anybody want something to drink? I'm not kidding.

Anybody want anything?

No, I'm gonna go get you... Do you want a nice coffee?

You want anything? No?

[clears throat] Hi, I'm Alec Baldwin with this morning's weather...

here in East Hampton.

-That's after six. What am I, a farmer? -[chuckles]

[chuckles softly]

When the cameraman, any of the cameras, they go...

-[mimics radio transmission] -They're like, "This guy is so boring."

Why don't we just pull the plug on this now?

My mic is skimming up my ass.

[laughs]

[Alec] This is horrible.

Did you get that?

Oh, my God, that was so perfect.

[phone ringing]

Who is it, please? I... I'm filming.

-[indistinct] -Can I have a sip of this?

My wife is always saying, "A little less history lesson."

-But this is- -[Hilaria] No, I love history. I'm all into history.

-What're you talking about? -So this is where we are.

I don't know the details. We should... I will look it up for you.

The Gardner family, famous family...

That cottage, that famous cottage was where Marilyn Monroe

stayed with Arthur Miller.

-The Suffolk County Water Authority- -[ice clattering]

[bleeping] This is a good thing I was gonna tell him.

Don't they think they wanna learn some history?

Okay, Alec, it's this and this and this.

[both laughing]

My God, look at you, Wendy,

you're so hot.

I can't even say out loud

the things I wanna do to you, Wendy.

-But before we do that, you know what we have to do? -What?

-Get a dog trainer. -[gasps]

Why?

To train the dogs, Wendy.

What the heck is wrong with you, man?

But my dogs are perfect.

Your dogs are disgusting slobs

who whizzed all over my $40,000-hand-knit Parisian rug.

Wendy!

[meows]

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