All language subtitles for Late Bloomer s02e01 Housing Crisis.eng

(Male Announcer
reads text on screen)

(Musical jingle)

(music playing)

(car passing)

(rustling)

(man clearing throat)

(chair creaking)

(exhaling, sniffing)

(tapping, sighing)

Okay. Look. I know a lot of
you guys have been asking

the same question over and
over again, so yes.

I moved out a
couple months ago.

I have my own place, and this
is not to shit on people

that still live at home, okay?
It's still underrated,

but in order
for me to become

the self-actualized grown
man that I want to be,

I can't do all that
in my childhood home.

Now, I can
finally thrive.

(buzzing)

(clicking)

I just needed to spread
these wings so I could fly.

That's a terrible
metaphor.

It was the first thing
that came to my head.

I'm sorry, but keeping it
in the edit. Don't care.

That's the process...
of me becoming a evolved man.

I love living
on my own.

(toilet flushing, people
shouting)

(people shouting,
vacuum whirring)

?

Three months...

is long... enough.

Oh, yeah?

Rebecca:
Mm-hmm.

Jasmeet: Do not look at
me with those Nala ass eyes.

- What eyes?
- Yeah.

- You know what you're doing.
- (Rebecca laughing)

Look. If you feel like
you're ready,

then, uh, I'm ready.

I... know. You...

feel ready.

(both laughing)

It's a boner.
What can I do?

(Rebecca laughing)

?

(laughing)

?

(retching outside)

(Rebecca groaning)

(coughing,
retching outside)

Yo, come on, man!
(knocking)

(coughing, retching
continuing)

You know, the guy
has allergies.

- Mm.
- I feel bad for him, honestly.

Sure.

(coughing, retching
continuing)

(video game booming, shooting,
people shouting)

(Rebecca laughing)

- It's fine.
- You know,

the video game noises
actually drown everything out,

so we can be
as loud as we want.

- Oh.
- This is a good thing.

(laughing)
Okay.

(booming, shouting
continuing)

Okay. Okay. Okay. No.
We're doing this right now.

(Rebecca laughing)

?

- (banging)
- Yo!

- Rebecca: Shit.
- Dude!

Parminder:
Sorry.

Jasmeet: Now?

Rebecca:
Oh, my God.

(music playing
outside)

Are you kidding?

Jasmeet: Dude, how long is
this going to take?

(sighing)

(Sighing)

(beeping)

Parminder:
You guys continue.

- Uh-
- Yo!

Oh, sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry.

(Parminder muttering)

(door closing)

That never happened.

- For sure, sure, sure.
- Yeah, yeah.

Let's just pretend
that never happened.

- Okay.
- All right.

(man speaking
Punjabi outside)

- (Jasmeet sighing)
- (man continuing to speak)

Okay. This is just
way too weird for me now.

Rebecca:
Yeah.

(man continuing
to speak)

?

(neighbour coughing)

I'm sorry
about that.

We'll try
again later.

It's not usually like this.

(scoffing)
It's not?

Yeah. I mean, sometimes,
there's... karaoke, you know?

These guys love to
sing, especially, like,

2005 Babbu Mann,
which everyone should.

He's got classics.

All right. I'll just
shut up.

Look. I'm just happy
you feel ready.

I was scared that, uh, we
were rushing things.

Well, not
scared, just-

Yeah. Same,
but you were right

about waiting.

I'm sorry.
I was what?

You were right.

- One more time.
- No!

There's something real
here, right?

Yeah. Of course.

You know, that's why I want
everything to be perfect

for when we, uh...

Yeah. Obviously,
we can't do that here.

(chuckling)

You don't like
being here?

I like being
with you.

But we can't, like,
be together here.

What? To the soundtrack
of horking men?

(sighing)
Okay. Look.

I think that was just, like,
a one-time thing.

- (banging)
- Dude, seriously?

It'll just be
another second. I...

- (Rebecca groaning)
- (Parminder speaking Punjabi)

It's not that I don't
like your place.

I just feel like, for
things that are more adult,

my place makes more sense.

- Adult?
- Yeah.

So, what kind of
adult is this place?

I mean, is this
all you have to drink?

It's- it's great.
You have your own room

with a door
that locks sometimes.

Yeah. I know it's not, like,
the perfect place for dates,

but it's, like, the right vibe
for me right now, you know?

It's like my Silicon
Valley start-up.

We're all just
out here hustling.

Rebecca: Yeah, but
don't you think

that it's just too busy
to get any work done?

Yeah. I mean, I don't really
have a choice.

You can move
back home.

I mean...
there's always my place.

(people speaking Punjabi
on radio)

Oh! Hello!

Supinder?

(people speaking Punjabi
on radio)

Gurdeep:
Gym queen?

Oh, and I called
Jogi Uncle.

I helped him book his flight.
He's coming early,

like, end of
next week.

Oh, very good.

He can sleep downstairs
in the basement.

Right. In the "guest room".

Okay. I'm going.

(Gurdeep sniffing)

(clicking, rattling,
fan stopping)

Woman: I can't believe
you guys haven't hooked up yet.

I can believe it.

Rebecca is not
like you.

She's a good, respectable
woman with traditional values.

Oh, I agree. She sounds
very traditional.

She was with her
guy for nine years.

If we rush this, we'd just,
like, instantly fuck it up.

Cool. Maybe you
and Rebecca double date

- with Sunny and his wife.
- Hell no.

I'm not married.

Don't you have,
like, three kids?

I think four now.

Congratulations!

Thanks.

Bro, how many
people live here?

Dude, I don't know,
and I don't ask.

Hey, you back to
designing yet?

I was thinking about
getting Rebecca something

for our three
month-iversary.

Chippy: I would, but I'm
creatively tapped out

after all the
Raysha bullshit.

Mm.

- I'm in my ho-cializing era.
- Ho-sha what?

Sure. When I
call her a ho,

I'm a polygamist.

- Misogynist.
- What?

Jasmeet: Anyways, Rebecca
actually hinted

at something yesterday- like,
maybe I should be

at her place-

What?

- a little more
permanently.

Sunny: Uh-uh.
Your place is shit.

No doubt about it.

Hundred percent.
All facts. No lies.

But don't even leave
a fucking toothbrush

at her place, bro.

Why? What's wrong with that?

You're talking
about living with someone

before you've ever had sex or
even said "I love you."

- Facts!
- Jasmeet: Our parents did that.

What? You guys are,
like, too Western now?

They made me.
They made you.

Plus, this is all I
can afford right now.

Yeah, but you can afford
to make it nicer.

Like, it doesn't
take much-

a leather couch,
a massage chair,

indoor sauna, maybe
a tandoori oven.

Chippy: Taco
truck, nail salon.

You dumb? Where's he supposed
to fit that shit in here?

- (slamming door)
- Parminder: Penchod!

Sorry. It was Rebecca.

She was thirsty and
craving it.

I- I couldn't
say no, man.

Fuck.

- Thanks for coming through.
- Sunny: Yeah.

- Bye.
- See you. Thanks.

Thanks for what?
The guy didn't ask, no cha,

no panipuri, pakora, samosa.
Nothing.

- That's true.
- I gave you water.

What do you think this
is, a Brar Sweets? Okay?

- You just came to hang out.
- Yo, he didn't have

hand soap
in the washroom!

Yeah.
It's kind of sad.

Hello?

- Oh, fuck.
- Uh...

Raji Aunty:
Standard inspection.

Oh, you have a lot of
cousins, don't you?

- Yep, yep, yep, yep.
- Raji Aunty: Sure?

Yeah. You know, my mom has,
like, 10 siblings.

Just watch.

You don't have a
actual job?

Raji Aunty:
That's my job.

That's my
part-time job.

My husband
is a pious man.

I don't know.

I completely understand,
Aunty.

We don't want to create
any problems.

You know, I don't want to tempt
your husband with a woman,

just a regular woman.

Raji Aunty:
Shut up!

Sunny: Oh, I think I know
your husband, Aunty Ji.

You give him
good discount?

You sure you
moved out?

(Raji Aunty speaking
Punjabi outside)

(man speaking
Punjabi on radio)

(door opening)

- (door closing)
- Neal: Pooji?

She went out.
You are back again?

Hey, what can I say?

(in New York accent)
It's hard to stay away

from the hospitality
over here.

What?

(in usual accent) I'm here
picking up deliveries.

Is Pooji coming
back soon?

Whoa. What are
you making, an omelette?

It's a bird
nest, stupid.

I told Jasmeet years ago
to cover that vent outside,

but he didn't,

so now, birds.

So, you
just took it out?

Let's see what the algorithm
says about this.

Al... who?

- (beeping)
- What happens to birds

if you move their nest
while they are still eggs?

Phone: If you move a bird's nest
with the baby birds inside,

they would be abandoned
by their mother.

The baby will likely
die of starvation

or be eaten
by bigger birds,

who will violently
devour them,

first dismembering
their heads,

removing the entire spine with
to allow for easy access

to peck away
at their innards,

freeing
the stomach cavity,

intestines, and
other bodily organs-

- Oh, that's enough of that.
- (beeping)

That's really bad.

So, you want me to
put it back?

Phone: Now playing "You Want
Me" by the Pudding Bags.

You've already orphaned them,
so they're going to die

a horrible,
violent death,

but who am I
to talk, you know?

I love tandoori
chicken,

especially yours,
grill master Phuphar.

Hmm.

Neal: All right.
Let me know when they hatch.

We could make
an omelette.

(staple gun clicking)

(staple gun clicking)

Oh. It's pretty
sick, right?

Put some egg cartons up
for soundproofing.

Got a blanket up.

It's, like, soundproofing but
just, like, general vibes.

Oh, you guys can, uh,
borrow some of this stuff

when I'm done with
it if you want.

This is against the
rules, man.

- Yeah.
- What? Why?

I'm- I'm making upgrades.

Bro, it's a landlord,
not our parents.

Yeah.

The gyani is
not gonna do anything.

She's just always
giving empty threats.

You guys just need
to relax, man.

Trust me. I'm making
this place better.

It's called
tenants' rights.

We can do whatever we want,
because we pay rent.

That's not why
we pay rent.

Who the hell is
this guy?

Uh, he lives here.

Since when? I've never
seen him in my life.

He's a night
shift guy.

Have you
seen their faces?

Okay. Chill out, bro.

I'm here to
do the same thing.

I'm trying to
get this money, too.

That's not
what he said.

Well, look likes I did a
pretty good job, then, huh?

Shut up, man.

It's called tenant's
rights! Okay?

Look it up!

I think
it looks sick.

Woman on TV: All right.
You are looking

at the jet stream
right now.

We're looking at a map
of southern Ontario.

As you can see here,
the jet streams

are going from south to north.
They're coming across...

- (doorbell ringing)
- And that lake effect

is going to kick in,
making tomorrow

possibly
even blusterier...

Supinder:
Chippy! Come in.

Hi, Aunty.
How are you?

- Smells good in here.
- Is Jasmeet okay?

Yeah. No. Don't worry. He's
fine. I saw him earlier today.

I'm actually here
for Maanvi. Is she home?

She will be back.
Please come in.

How is Jasmeet?

I don't see him.

It's okay. I know
the whole... you know.

This must
be really hard.

I'm so sorry.

How are you?

I- I'm fine.

(door opening)

Maanu, you are
back home?

- Look who is here.
- (beeping)

Hey, you have one of those
cool smart watches, huh?

Aunty, those watches
mean that you never, ever miss

a message from people who
are your friends

or people who think
they're your friends.

Wow. That's great.

I'm just trying to
understand the timeline.

Did I say something?

Because I told you, whatever
you decide to do,

I'll support you.

Yeah, and I really
appreciate that.

Do you?

Because it...
it really feels

like you decided to go
forward with this wedding

and somehow I got
cut out of your life.

I've just been busy.

Planning a wedding is
a lot of work.

The food,
the guests, the cakes.

You wouldn't believe
the number of cakes.

Someone tried to convince
me to go sponge cake.

Like, are you crazy?

Okay. Cool. So, this is
what we're doing now?

Weddings are work?

Fuck it.

OMG! I'm so happy
for you guys!

And hey, you let me know if you
need any help at all, okay?

Okay. Thanks.
I will.

(scoffing)

Jasmeet on video:
I don't think

my "spreading my wings
to fly" analogy is that bad.

- (knocking)
- Okay? And birds are cool.

- Yeah. My man spittin'.
- (phone chiming)

They fly. What
other animal flies?

- Oh, shit.
- (knocking)

Hey. Sorry about that.
I couldn't hear

because of the soundproofing
that I've done now.

(video game noise)

Rebecca:
Whoa!

This is, uh, actually a lot
better than I expected.

Ah, this was
all you.

You know,
you were right.

This place wasn't good
enough for either of us,

and... (snapping)

(groaning) It was
working this morning.

(grunting)

- ...private.
- Oh.

We got a lock.

The walls are
covered up.

There's
soundproofing.

It's just the perfect
thing for work.

- Mm.
- You know?

- Mm-hmm.
- And maybe that other thing.

- (laughing)
- You know?

- Mm. So, these egg cartons.
- Mm-hmm?

They work, uh,
both ways?

- I guess we should test it out.
- (laughing)

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

No. Seriously, it's, uh,
fully hork-proof, right?

Yeah. It's got the whole,
uh, hork fortification.

- Ah.
- The hork-ification.

Rebecca: I get it.
I get it. I believe you.

Please don't say
"hork" again.

Jasmeet: I want to give
you a little show.

(Rebecca chuckling)

Oh!

- (laughing)
- My eye.

Time for the pants.

Okay. No. This is dumb.
I don't think there's,

like, a sexy way
to take off pants,

so why don't you just
pretend like this is sexy?

- Rebecca: Totally.
- Take this off real quick.

(grunting)
Oh, shit!

Ah! Ah!

Oh, my God!

- Raji Aunty: Ah!
- (Jasmeet groaning)

- Rebecca: We have to help her.
- No, no, no. You need to hide-

What?

- because I'm not allowed
to have any girls over.

- What?
- Doing illegal renovation!

What are you doing
behind the wall?

Jasmeet: That's
my sister.

Raji Aunty: My husband's
going to kill you!

Man on phone:
You punched my wife!

She has always
taken good of you,

always treated you
like family!

Jasmeet: Yeah. No. I
understand, Uncle, but-

Man on phone: Very bad!
Very bad! How is she?

She'll be fine,
you know.

- Me and my sister, we, uh-
- (man interrupting)

Uh... No, I didn't touch
the thermostat.

- (man speaking Punjabi)
- No, Uncle.

- Very bad. Very bad. No!
- That wasn't me, either.

Man on phone: Very serious!
Very serious! No, no, no!

Okay. FYI, you know

there's this thing called
tenant's rights, and-

Man on phone: Don't tell
me what is the right!

I know what rights are!
I came in Canada before you!

Uncle, I think
there's a tunnel so...

Man on phone: No, no
tunnel! No tunnel!

(Jasmeet speaking broken
gibberish) ...clear...

(man shouting angrily)

(beeping)

Going under
a tunnel.

Is that still
a thing?

(exhaling)

Hey, are you okay?

(sighing)
I don't know, man.

I just...

I'm just
really scared.

What do you mean?
Scared about what?

I'm... scared of
everything.

All of it. I'm scared I
don't know what I'm doing.

I'm scared I
won't succeed.

I'm scared that
I'm not a good person!

I'm scared because
I miss my parents!

I'm scared
because I love you,

and I fuck things up with
everyone that I love!

Rebecca:
That's... so...

Ick.
(chuckling)

I mean, what was I
even thinking?

- I never should have left Ryan.
- What?

Oh, my God.
You're not a man.

You're just
a little boy!

I need to
get out of here.

(tires screeching,
engine roaring)

- Oh, thank God.
- Wait. Who is that?

Wait. What's going on?

(engine revving)

Re- Rebecca! Rebecca, wait!

- Later, loser!
- No! Wait! I take it back!

- I didn't mean it! I...
- (engine roaring away)

Rebecca:
Jasmeet?

Hey. You're doing
that spaced-out thing.

You kind of look like
you're spiraling.

Yeah. I just,
um... I...

I just don't want to
mess this up.

Maybe we're thinking
about this way too hard.

You know, sometimes,

doing things right doesn't
mean doing them perfect.

That didn't
make any sense.

It doesn't have to.

Jasmeet:
Uh, what is- Hey.

Go back. (laughing)

What- what is
going on?

We are in a hospital
parking lot. What are you...

Shut up.

Jasmeet:
Okay.

?

(moaning, thumping)

?

(woman singing
in Punjabi)

?

Supinder:
Gurdeep!

?

?

(sighing)

?

(beeping)

Rebecca:
Good morning.

Hey. Good morning.

- How'd you sleep?
- It was good.

- Yeah?
- How'd you sleep?

- Amazing.
- Mm-hmm.

- This pillows are incredible.
- I know.

- Where'd you get them from?
- From the pillow store.

- (buzzing)
- The pillow store?

- Of course!
- (phone chiming)

Oh, sorry. Hold on.

Raji Aunty: Look at
this disgusting place.

Oh, my God.

Raji Aunty: I know. It's the
one with the prostitute sister.

He's nobody.

What the shit?

(exhaling)
Okay.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe I, uh, I
do move in with you.

Yeah. I mean,

it's not perfect,
but it's right.

Again, what
does that even mean?

You know what it means.

No, I have no idea what
it means.

- Yes, you do.
- No. You're always, like,

- speaking in riddles.
- No, I'm not. No, I'm not.

- Yeah, you are.
- What are you, the Riddler?

- (laughing)
- (Raji Aunty speaking Punjabi)

? Pray for you, let my
chest hair fray for you ?

? Day to day
for you ?

? But I'm too tired
to foreplay for you ?

? Stayed loyal ?

? Warm your cold
days for you ?

? Probably can't love you a long
time in my old age for you ?

? Roll your
eyes for me ?

? Shave my
back for me ?

? What, no, I said
play this app silly ?

? You ass
crack funny ?

? Pass that bread
over there ?

? Will you love me with
the back fat honey? ?

? When I'm bad back dad
running at the gym asthmatic ?

? Squeeze me in after
the kids with karate ?

? Hit me with that
yoga Pilates ?

? I'm like yoga
to mommies ?

? Make them say om
shanti shanti shanti ?

? Way I fold the laundry
like origami origami ?

? Sweatpants the minimum ?

? Baby let it do it to you
in the living room, uh ?

? Talk flirty from
5:30 to 9:30 ?

? But I'm exhausted,
it's on though... ?

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