Original subtitles

[narrator] Brought to you by Tom's Indoor Traffic Cones.

Let's keep hallways safe, people.

[? soothing melody plays]

Good morning, Table Town School. Here are today's announcements.

Secretary Prince's borrowable stapler has staples in it again.

[clears throat] The West Hallway is closed 2:00 to 3:00 p.m.

for spring waxing.

Please keep that clear. Thank you.

Quote of the day:

"Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

Mm. What a classic.

Ugh. P.S. is a sweetie,

but his announcements are a snooze-fest.

[Sweepy Steve] It wasn't always like this.

[? intriguing music playing]

Uh, nice storage closet, Sweeps.

[? morning announcements theme music playing]

- Today's lunch? - Spanakopita!

Just kidding. [chuckles]

It's eggplant parm. What else would it be?

- [both gasp] - Kids got to do the announcements?

- [electricity zaps] - [both gasp]

[? rousing music playing]

Please. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please!

[Barry] Announcements for kids, by kids!

Look, Barry, it's not that I don't want you to do them,

it's that doing them that way caused school-wide chaos.

Forget all that. That's ancient history.

History never repeats itself.

Thought you'd be way more cool about this, Secretary.

I'm cool. I'm- I'm a cool guy.

Fine. J- Okay. Look, just as long as it doesn't become some big production.

- [? upbeat music playing] - [Kiff] Breaking Announcements.

[Barry] Yes! Your school every morning.

? Hello and welcome Today's top story ?

? The morning announcements are no longer boring ?

? No more snoring and falling... ?

- [snores] - ? ...asleep on your feet ?

? We'll be bringing you news at breakneck speed ?

? So, for up-to-date hard-hitting news today ?

[both] ? It's time for us to say... ?

? Good morning Table Town School! ?

- ? That's you! ? - ? Are you ready for breaking news? ?

? We're coming in hot with... ?

? Figures and facts Info and stats ?

? We've got the "Weather with Trevor" ?

? We've got the Sport Report ?

? The stapler thief still has not been caught ?

? Ooh ?

? Good morning Table Town School! ?

We're crossing over live

to Liz Kay for all your playground updates.

[crickets chirping]

? Good morning Table Town School! ?

- [both] ? That's you! ? - ? Are you ready for breaking news? ?

- [chomps] - ? We're coming in hot with... ?

? Figures and facts Info and stats ?

? We got "Slay With Ren�e!" "What's To Munch For Lunch?" ?

? A studio performance from DJ Brunch ?

? Ooh ?

? Good morning Table Town School ?

A TTS alumni who invites all your parents to use

his accounting services.

Is this boring?

In academic news, the book fair will extend

its run by two weeks, now ending in two weeks.

I think it's bad, Bar.

Oh, you want to turn on this box with the word ratings on it?

- To know for sure? - Huh.

Oh, yikes.

It's lower than when Principal Secretary was doing them.

Okay, we need some pizazz, some spark.

Candle, jazz it up for sports.

And now for sports news-uh!

The Ultimate team will meet after School-io.

If you could even call Ultimate a sport.

[chuckles, inhales] Uh, apologies, viewers.

I don't believe our camera tech knows that she's miked.

[chuckles] So, we here at Good Morning Table Town School

believe Ultimate is a sport.

[Ren�e] Uh, it's not like a real sport.

Do I tell you how to operate the camera, Ren�e?

It's a sport. [inhales] So stop saying it's not a sport.

Not a sport.

Barry, cut the feed.

Wait. Oh. [chuckles]

You like it when they argue, huh? [chuckles]

Ultimate was officially recognized as a sport over a decade ago.

By who? Not by me. Sports have to be hard,

- a little scary, and cool. - Tennis isn't scary.

I've had tennis-based nightmares.

Ultimate is scary. The name is intense.

Ultimate? Come on!

It's the cool part that's lacking.

Ultimate's not cool.

[? inspirational music playing]

Billiam, hold cam one on Candle. Barry, zoom in on Trev.

Camera three, cut to Reggie.

Ready to help if needed.

Juice causes brain rot.

I propose drinking directly from the coconut.

Way too hairy. I say decaf tea.

Seltzer is a basic right.

I do my best thinking after a cola. [slurps]

Velcro isn't the problem.

[student 1] Radiators, end of discussion!

Name tags? They're hostile.

[student 2] People claim they're carpooling.

[student 3] Slippers are shoes!

Lines. Who needs them?

[student 4] Polka dot phone cases: a City Hall PsyOp?

Cafeteria trays, what aren't they telling us?

Macaroni art. Where does it all go?

- [babbles indistinctly] - No, no, no.

- Nuh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh! - [yelps]

[Reggie] I don't care about your dumb issue!

- [Candle] Uh-uh! [yelling] - [Reggie] No, no, no, no!

[slurps, spits] There's a kid stuck in a ditch in the hallway?

- Is he okay? - Yep.

But wait, didn't we have that in our announcements

to keep clear of that hallway because of construction?

Yeah, but we ran over yesterday.

Shoot. That was important info.

Well, now, it's a big story.

The question is, whose fault is it?

It's Ditch Kid's fault. He should have seen those cones.

[Ditch Kid] I was watching your show!

We've got to get to the bottom of this.

[Ditch Kid] I am at the bottom of this.

Here's what I want to know.

Should we put a hat on him, so he's easier to look at?

Let's go to Hat Chat to figure it out.

- That is a visor. - It's a hat!

Well, by your logic, this is a hat.

Well, why don't we talk to an expert?

What do we think?

- Cowboy! - Sailor!

- Fedora! - Fedora!

[shouting indistinctly]

P.S. was right.

This is out of control. I'm pulling the plug.

[tone beeping]

- Are we down? - We're down.

Power's down. We're not broadcasting.

It's over, Barry. [exhales] This was a failed experiment.

[electricity zaps]

Oh, never mind. We're back up.

What? How?

Emergency generator up and running.

The Ultimate team thanks Reggie for his noble service.

- Ultimate team? - [groans]

Trevor said beanie, and I agree.

[scoffs] Bucket hat.

Mr. RiPeppa, uh, don't you have a class to teach?

Eh, what's the point?

Everyone's glued to the Ditch Kid story.

I'll check back in four hours

to see if the announcements are still running.

[all clamoring]

Hey, I'm gonna need you to stop arguing and tell everyone else

to stop arguing, too. This has turned into

- an unreasonable distrac- - Sure, we'll do that.

Oh, thank you, Ren�e.

For a price.

I'm thinking sodas, but not colas.

We're still debating cola.

- [groans] Look, can't you just- - Sodas! Now! Chop chop!

[pants] Okay, what are your sodas besides colas?

Oh, you came on a great day for non-colas.

Our specials are some of the best we ever had.

Number one is a Key Lime Ricky.

A lot of people say no to using Key limes in a Ricky

because the classic is just regs lime,

but that's where I disagree.

[distorted voice] See, my family, the Key Lime,

- that was the cornerstone of... - [? menacing music playing]

...dation of the Ricky. To spice it up.

To say, hey, how you doing?

Oh, here's a little tropical something for your taste buds.

What are your sodas? Give me the info. No opinion.

Okay, I will have four orange fizzes.

Thank you. Gosh, why was that so hard?

Can't I just get the facts? The boring facts?

[gasps] Wait a minute.

[pants] Facts are better than opinions!

Boring things are nice! They're beautiful and clear,

and respectful of everyone's time!

[grunts] I was wrong about the announcements needing to be fun!

Clear, direct facts is what we need!

Facts are where it's at.

[softly chuckles] Oh, please make them boring again.

[inhales deeply] It's the only way to stop the madness!

[knuckles cracking]

[? soothing melody plays]

It's the most boring series of notes in music.

[intercom beeps]

[? soothing melody echoing]

[indistinct shouting halts]

- Neat. - [snores]

Good morning, Table Town School. Here are today's announcements.

Due to cloudless skies,

the playground slide will be a little hotter today.

Please slide with caution.

A number of hats have gone missing

from Helen's Hat Box.

Please return if found.

[? cheerful music playing]

[? music concludes]

Chirp.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0