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1
00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:04,560
-Wow, so cool.
-First benefit of the job.
2
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:07,760
-Have you written a car review before?
-No.
3
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,920
But how difficult can it be?
4
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,360
Smooth lines, spacious interior.
5
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,120
-Good torque.
-What is torque?
6
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,200
You know, torque is ...
7
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,200
Everyone knows what torque is.
8
00:00:19,201 --> 00:00:23,799
If you want to be environmentally
friendly, you should cycle everywhere.
9
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,400
If I wanted to, I would
lie in bed all day,
10
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,560
not eat cows, and breathe
as little as possible until I died.
11
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,000
How to start it?
12
00:00:33,001 --> 00:00:34,719
It's running.
13
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:36,320
-Stop it.
-I promise.
14
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,480
-Va?
-Fantastic, right?
15
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:41,600
It is so quiet that it is almost repulsive.
16
00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:43,520
Start the review with rejection.
17
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,720
They want me to use the word impeccable.
18
00:00:45,721 --> 00:00:46,799
You have not driven yet.
19
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,600
The editor wants me to use impeccable, so ...
20
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,240
Are you nearby?
21
00:00:54,241 --> 00:00:57,959
I'm sick
and Joshie has to go to the hairdresser.
22
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,440
-When?
-Nu.
23
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,440
-Nu, nu?
-No, yesterday now!
24
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,680
Okay, I'm coming.
25
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:07,680
Are you with me?
26
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:11,200
Can not. I collect
for World Jewish Relief.
27
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:15,320
-Collects what?
-Clothes, toys, whatever.
28
00:01:15,321 --> 00:01:16,959
-They take everything.
-Really?
29
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:18,240
The socks are a bit worn.
30
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:22,160
There is certainly a stocking
Jew in Georgia who wants them.
31
00:01:22,161 --> 00:01:23,279
Come and leave them.
32
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,600
I will. Noble of you
to sacrifice your Sunday for charity.
33
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,280
Are there any women involved?
34
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,880
All men in charity
want to meet women.
35
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:34,890
Prince Charles?
36
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,880
So, you never know.
37
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:41,280
That's his job. He gets paid.
38
00:01:41,281 --> 00:01:42,279
Elton.
39
00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,400
-He's gay.
-Still!
40
00:01:44,401 --> 00:01:46,439
He is the exception that proves the rule.
41
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:50,600
-Are gay men more caring?
-Don't know, ask the Vatican.
42
00:01:52,671 --> 00:01:54,719
God!
43
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,400
Hold your ears, Joshie.
44
00:01:56,480 --> 00:02:00,720
Stupid fucking ...
Stupid fucking chair hell!
45
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:02,290
Damn!
46
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,170
How's the new car seat, Joshie?
Soft and comfortable?
47
00:02:06,871 --> 00:02:08,959
No comment.
48
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,799
He should not answer your questions
because you misquote him.
49
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:12,960
A little paranoid?
50
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,360
-Just get him cut!
-Okay.
51
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:18,920
-If you wonder, I just peed.
-Va?
52
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,240
I'll save water. I'm going to
be environmentally friendly today.
53
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:23,400
Are you kidding?
54
00:02:23,401 --> 00:02:25,199
You went to the bathroom and did not flush?
55
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,830
-What should I do with it?
-Mom!
56
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:30,280
-Nothing unless necessary.
-It's it now. Flush!
57
00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:31,800
Unfortunately.
58
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:33,640
-I'm not flushing for you.
-Bra.
59
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,120
You should not do that.
Okay, are you ready?
60
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:46,960
-Did you know that you can recycle hair?
-No.
61
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,320
Who would have thought that it works in compost?
62
00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:51,410
Not me.
63
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,620
And to stop stuffed animals.
64
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:55,130
Do you want it?
65
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:56,720
I'll think about it.
66
00:02:56,721 --> 00:03:00,079
Do you know what happened to the Greek Cypriots?
67
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:00,959
Va?
68
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,160
Before, all hairdressers were from Cyprus.
69
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,000
-Oh really?
-Yes.
70
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,000
The whole island flew here,
71
00:03:07,001 --> 00:03:09,199
cut everyone's hair for twenty years
and disappeared.
72
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,280
The restaurants with.
73
00:03:10,281 --> 00:03:13,719
Must be territorial war between
Turks and Greeks in London or something.
74
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,160
What the hell are you doing?
75
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,440
-Burns the hair on the ears.
-They are bald enough, thank you.
76
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,600
-Have you never done that before?
-No!
77
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,360
We're in England! Holy shit!
78
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:24,800
We are done.
79
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,400
Nice. Do you like it, Joshie?
80
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:28,600
No comment.
81
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,880
Good, very good.
82
00:03:30,881 --> 00:03:32,479
How much?
83
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,760
Fourteen for you, nine for him.
84
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,960
Fourteen for an adult,
nine for a child, timely.
85
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,090
Va?
86
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:43,920
-You say type 15 and 10 pounds.
-No, it's 9 and 14.
87
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:47,040
For a child, they give you
a ten and say keep the gear.
88
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,280
You do not have to.
89
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,410
You know what.
90
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,720
We say 9.50 for him,
50 pence to you,
91
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,920
for his ear was not burned, but mine was,
92
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,160
and exactly 14 pounds
for you did not offer me a club.
93
00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,400
- Do you want a club?
-No.
94
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:00,840
But you want to be asked.
95
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,359
You are welcome.
96
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,680
Are you offering me a club?
97
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,120
- Do you want a club?
-No.
98
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,280
-Okay.
-Okay.
99
00:04:09,351 --> 00:04:11,279
Hello?
100
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,440
-Richard Curtis!
-What's up with him?
101
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,560
He fixed Comic Relief,
not gay, not looking for women.
102
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:18,360
It was a. Good work.
103
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,680
Okay, hurry up, little man!
104
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:27,040
Sorry, no. I talked to my nephew.
Say hello, Joshie.
105
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:28,200
Hey!
106
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,160
-You are not funny.
-It was not the intention.
107
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,360
It's called little boys. Or Or, little man?
108
00:04:33,361 --> 00:04:35,519
Come on, little man! Hurry up, little man!
109
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:36,839
Wedge away now, little man!
110
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:38,160
This is not arranged?
111
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,080
Why would one put energy into it?
112
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,760
You have no idea.
113
00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:47,040
Okay, I'm sorry, if I've insulted you.
114
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,640
You have heavy bags, let me help you.
115
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,590
I have to take the bus
and go to Henton.
116
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:55,200
Forget the bus, okay? Let me help you. How?
117
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:57,080
-Okay?
-Okay, then.
118
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,720
So there, okay. Come on Joshie.
119
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,880
So yes.
120
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,090
Yes.
121
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:08,040
This is great, you know.
Meet new friends, save the environment.
122
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,760
So you just cut your hair, Joshie?
123
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,530
-Too short.
-Nothing is too short.
124
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,400
Okay, here's the car.
125
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:16,770
So there.
126
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:22,960
-Just a car seat.
-Should I sit in a car seat?
127
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:26,000
-How else are you going?
-I sit like everyone else.
128
00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:27,560
I do not know, so ...
129
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:30,520
Logically, it must have
something to do with length.
130
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,370
He's sitting in the car seat
and I'm sitting next to him.
131
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:37,520
No, if I put on the belt wrong
you split in the middle.
132
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,280
Just a car seat.
133
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,320
-What are you doing?
-I google it.
134
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,720
Do you google for dwarf and car seat?
135
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,640
-Yes.
-For hell, I'm taking the bus.
136
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,320
Look, American pages.
It must be the same here.
137
00:05:50,321 --> 00:05:51,319
I take the bus!
138
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:52,880
Please, let me drive you.
139
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,010
Please.
140
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:57,400
Please.
141
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,040
-Okay.
-Okay.
142
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,600
Do you feel good back there?
143
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,200
The top.
144
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,560
-Nice car ride?
-It's quiet.
145
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:06,690
Electrically.
146
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,720
-Good torque.
-Really good torque.
147
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,080
-No emissions.
-Small carbon footprint.
148
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:13,440
Like me!
149
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,130
It was good.
150
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,200
Does it smell burnt?
151
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,360
Yes, they burned my ears.
152
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,010
-Who?
-A Turkish hairdresser.
153
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,600
You have ear kebabs!
154
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:24,800
I have!
155
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:29,040
I have. It was good.
156
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:35,280
-What the hell is that?
-What?
157
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,240
He looks like a kiwi!
158
00:06:37,241 --> 00:06:38,999
What are you talking about? It's nice.
159
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,800
I'm shitting, I said the tops should be cut.
160
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,080
It grows back. They burned my ears. Smell.
161
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,560
I do not feel anything. Wait, who's in your car?
162
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:50,720
It's Mark.
163
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,560
He's a dwarf. I'm driving him home.
164
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,640
In my car seat? So where was Joshie?
165
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,650
Where was Joshie
on her way home from the hairdresser?
166
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,600
In his lap.
167
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:09,520
In a stranger's lap?
Are you not really wise?
168
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,880
I tell him to say no to strangers
169
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,520
and you put him
on an alien dwarf's crotch?
170
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,360
-He is OK!
-Idiot!
171
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:18,880
-Remove Glader, give me my car seat.
-Glader?
172
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,680
Wise, Leads, Prosit.
I shit in who he is!
173
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:22,840
Remove him now!
174
00:07:22,841 --> 00:07:24,599
-You'll get it late.
-Remove the dwarf.
175
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:25,650
I'll help him.
176
00:07:25,651 --> 00:07:27,759
Take away the dwarf hell
and give me the car seat.
177
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,480
I'll return it later.
178
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,520
-I want the hairdresser's money.
-Why then?
179
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,520
Of course I want my money back!
180
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,240
If a dress does not fit, you return it!
181
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,720
-For the same size 40?
-I have size 38!
182
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,520
-I know what size you are!
-Size matters.
183
00:07:42,521 --> 00:07:44,719
If it does not fit,
as with Joshie's hairstyle,
184
00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,920
-so you demand the money back!
-Yes, but ...
185
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,050
Yes, but ...
186
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,160
Can I lend you two seconds?
187
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,320
Just two seconds ...
188
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:02,450
Thanks.
189
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,210
Thanks.
190
00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,640
Sorry, but Joshie's mom
says his hair is too short.
191
00:08:09,641 --> 00:08:11,319
You liked it.
192
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,599
Yes, but she apparently
just wanted to cut the tops
193
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:14,800
when she booked the time.
194
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:19,400
When you buy something from John Lewis
you can not return it.
195
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:22,960
Funny you say that.
Because she specifically has that you can.
196
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,120
-Underwear?
-No, a dress.
197
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,360
A dress, yes.
198
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,080
Of course you can leave
a dress, but not a haircut.
199
00:08:29,081 --> 00:08:30,159
It's like panties.
200
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,280
No money back
on used panties.
201
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,240
Do you know that I'm a journalist
for The Jewish Enquirer?
202
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,000
-Are you?
-Yes, it's me.
203
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,640
Here you have a story.
204
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:41,080
No money back
on used panties.
205
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,400
You know what, we'll call them.
206
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,120
-John Lewis?
-Yes.
207
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,250
Sure, call them.
208
00:08:46,251 --> 00:08:49,199
Connect me to customer service, please.
209
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,590
-Put them on speakers.
-Yes.
210
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,870
-What can I help you with?
-I have a question.
211
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:55,880
I bought underwear for
a lady, can they be changed?
212
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,560
Money back, not exchange.
213
00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,040
Sorry, get your money back.
214
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,960
No problem. Just bring the receipt.
215
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,960
Wait. She's been wearing them.
216
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:05,920
Underwear must be unused.
217
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,440
So no money back
on used panties.
218
00:09:08,441 --> 00:09:09,479
No.
219
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,560
-Bikinis then?
-Yes.
220
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,240
How is that logical?
221
00:09:13,241 --> 00:09:15,239
Both have been used unhygienically and ...
222
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,520
It does not matter, please.
223
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,600
- Did you want to recycle hair?
-Yes.
224
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,720
The top.
225
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,480
Okay, time to drive you home.
226
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,080
-Money back?
-No.
227
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,360
-Should I talk to him?
-I give her a ten and it's over.
228
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:35,490
Okay.
229
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,240
Ground?
230
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,120
Do you know any benefactor
who is not looking for sex?
231
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:44,490
Stephen Fry?
232
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:46,530
Other?
233
00:09:46,531 --> 00:09:47,839
Gandhi.
234
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:51,280
Yes, Gandhi! Gandhi is good.
235
00:09:51,281 --> 00:09:52,919
Okay.
236
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:54,480
What is it? I help Jews.
237
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:55,610
Gandhi!
238
00:09:55,911 --> 00:09:57,959
He is dead.
239
00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:01,160
There were two so smoke your theory.
240
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,240
Yes, Gandhi, well done, Mark.
241
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,120
Who else?
242
00:10:06,641 --> 00:10:09,199
Fast, scroll down the box!
243
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,040
-What?
-Rutan, fast!
244
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,440
Scroll down the box.
245
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:14,960
Small penis!
246
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,240
Small penis!
247
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,800
-Shit you down!
-Small penis!
248
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,920
-Shit you down!
-Yes, small penis!
249
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,050
Fan ta dig!
250
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:27,920
Okay, here it is.
251
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,720
-Give me two minutes.
-Okay.
252
00:10:33,751 --> 00:10:35,719
How is it going?
253
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,159
She's going to introduce me to her granddaughter.
254
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:39,919
30 something, podiatrist, own apartment.
255
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,920
The top. Do you want this?
It's recycled.
256
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,880
-Looks like hair.
-It's hair, from the hairdresser.
257
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,920
Do not donate human hair to a Jewish collection!
258
00:10:48,921 --> 00:10:49,919
Damn it too!
259
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,760
What do you have over there?
260
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:52,960
Here with the socks!
261
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,960
-I donate socks.
-What is it?
262
00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:01,680
-Nothing, Miriam, it's useless.
-I said we do not deny anything.
263
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,240
-It's ...
-It's very easy.
264
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,370
It's not for you.
265
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,240
-It's for me!
-It's not!
266
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,080
-It is!
-No!
267
00:11:09,081 --> 00:11:10,159
God!
268
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:11,240
What is it?
269
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:12,850
Hair?
270
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,080
Human hair?
271
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,560
Where did you get it?
272
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:25,680
From the hairdresser at the station.
Simon said you receive everything.
273
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:28,040
There are limits.
274
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,720
-It smells burnt.
-It's my ears. Sorry.
275
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:33,850
Can we go now?
276
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:37,040
Are you experimenting on humans?
277
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:39,960
I'm not a fucking experiment!
278
00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:45,000
Simon! Call CST!
279
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,760
What is CST?
280
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,520
It is a non-profit Jewish organization
281
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,040
which protects Jewish schools
and events.
282
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,280
So you have an army
with David Baddiels protecting you?
283
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,920
You have to feel safe.
284
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,800
Some of them are former Mossad.
285
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:03,240
Not as Baddiel
but more as circumcised Jackie Chans.
286
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:08,920
Why do we stay?
287
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:10,800
The battery is dead.
288
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:13,040
God damnit...
289
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:19,240
From your point of view, that
bell is actually too high.
290
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,370
It's shitty.
291
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,160
Can I help you?
292
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,360
I'm a journalist from The Jewish Enquirer.
293
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:32,490
What?
294
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,160
Coming on Fridays?
295
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:36,640
Available online?
296
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,840
-Never heard of it.
-Really? Surprising.
297
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,120
I'm not a Jew, so ...
298
00:12:42,121 --> 00:12:43,959
Va?
299
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,920
You have the most Jewish hair I've ever seen.
300
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:48,640
Because it's curly?
301
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:51,360
You know, curly, a great Jewish afro.
302
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:55,000
-You must have some Jewish credentials.
-I have not.
303
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,760
-If you say so.
-I actually do not have it.
304
00:12:57,761 --> 00:13:00,839
Do a little genealogy and you'll
find a great-grandmother in Poland.
305
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,559
His electric car's battery, however,
may we charge it?
306
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:04,720
What are you doing?
307
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,079
What?
308
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:08,760
Do you make the quenelle gesture?
309
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:09,890
What?
310
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:12,200
The reverse Nazi salute.
311
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:13,840
I brush away hair.
312
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,240
It's a Nazi salute.
313
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,280
Football player Anelka did it.
He was suspended.
314
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,000
I get excited about Nazi greetings
by non-Jews.
315
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,920
I just brush hair away from my arm.
316
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,560
This is a Nazi salute!
This is brushing off hair.
317
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,400
-Yes, it's a Nazi salute.
-Exact.
318
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,280
But this is the reverse Nazi ...
319
00:13:30,281 --> 00:13:32,559
- I've never seen that ...
-It's the other way around ...
320
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:33,720
-This is Nazi ...
-Nazi.
321
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,120
I've never heard that.
322
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,000
This is Nazi.
You can clearly see the difference.
323
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:40,640
-This is also ...
-This is Nazi. This...
324
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,880
There he is! Anti-Semitic!
325
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,520
Can we charge the car for a few minutes?
326
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,720
Do you want a cup of tea?
327
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,310
-Certainly!
-Yes, thank you.
328
00:13:56,311 --> 00:13:58,399
He should not have,
he is climate-friendly today.
329
00:13:58,400 --> 00:13:59,720
She'll still be cooking.
330
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:03,760
Yes, but your cup means
more water and more electricity.
331
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:07,000
-Then I take something cold!
-Not from the fridge.
332
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,960
What a good cup of tea.
333
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:16,280
You know what, this is perhaps
the best cup of tea in my whole life.
334
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:17,880
-How is the water?
-Ljummet.
335
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:22,400
My husband is completely crazy about cars
and he does not believe in any of it.
336
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,560
He's North London's Jeremy Clarkson.
337
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,240
Can I borrow the toilet? I'm really needed.
338
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,520
Yes, through the door, to the left.
339
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:30,760
Okay thanks.
340
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,360
-How is that there?
-Try.
341
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,160
Let me.
342
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,940
Do you know what you usually say?
343
00:14:49,941 --> 00:14:51,279
What?
344
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,120
"Once you go small,
you never go back."
345
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,640
-I heard that.
-I think so for sure.
346
00:15:07,651 --> 00:15:11,759
-What the hell are you doing here?
-What?
347
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,000
He called me "small penis".
348
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,680
It was just a little joke.
Tiny.
349
00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:19,440
-It's you who's a little joke.
-Phil!
350
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:23,080
-What kind of cable is that?
-Their battery died.
351
00:15:23,081 --> 00:15:25,079
They can forget to charge from my house.
352
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:26,840
Thanks.
353
00:15:26,841 --> 00:15:27,799
Hi.
354
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,000
Damn you too!
355
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:30,480
Phil, let him be.
356
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:33,480
We give them free fuel
because they are too lazy to refuel.
357
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,320
Be the bigger man.
358
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,520
-No offense.
-It's calm.
359
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,680
Half an hour, nothing more.
360
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:43,680
I'll hit a seven
with my huge penis!
361
00:15:45,931 --> 00:15:51,079
Many give him shit for the car
and it makes him angry.
362
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,280
Would not have bought it.
363
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,680
He's right. If you drive around
in such a car, you almost pray
364
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,480
about penis abortions.
365
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:04,440
Yes, we have a problem with the drain.
It will be fixed tomorrow.
366
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,760
-Paul was your name, huh?
-Yes.
367
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:13,240
We did not hear anything
when you went to the bathroom.
368
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,560
-Really?
-Not a sound.
369
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:18,880
Strange.
370
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:20,880
Did not you pee?
371
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:23,040
I went in
but was no longer needed.
372
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,040
You said you really needed it.
373
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,120
How far do you take
this climate talk then?
374
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,440
Oh my God.
375
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:33,920
You save water.
376
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,360
You did not flush.
377
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,320
You went to the bathroom and did not flush?
378
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:40,640
Now you're ridiculous.
379
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,600
-No, I would have noticed.
-He would have noticed!
380
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,640
Oh really...
381
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,880
Okay, we have to go now.
382
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:15,400
He peed in the sink!
383
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:17,840
-I can not close the door!
-Try!
384
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,440
-I try to!
-Try more!
385
00:17:20,441 --> 00:17:21,399
God damnit!
386
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,280
Do you know how much water I saved?
Five liters!
387
00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:26,400
You peed in someone's sink!
388
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,840
It's sterile. As a human Dettol.
389
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,080
Close the bastard!
390
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,280
-Keep trying.
-I do!
391
00:17:34,281 --> 00:17:35,319
Make an effort!
392
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,560
-I have short arms!
-Do not use it as an excuse!
393
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,320
-Come on, you bastard!
-Fucking lamps!
394
00:17:41,321 --> 00:17:42,359
Come on!
395
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:43,960
-There you go.
-Fan!
396
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:46,600
He follows us.
397
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,520
-Va?
-He pursues us!
398
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,360
Okay, let me go.
399
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:51,319
-God.
-I'm going!
400
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,840
Okay then!
401
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,320
-Good to have known you, buddy.
-You.
402
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,880
-Let me help you!
-What are you doing?
403
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,240
I'm driving you home.
You should wash the sink.
404
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,000
-It was not me! It was he!
-It was not him!
405
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:15,440
But I can not lift you.
406
00:18:15,441 --> 00:18:17,399
He must be held accountable for his friend.
407
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,480
It was me!
408
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,040
-It was he!
-It was me.
409
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:21,480
Sorry.
410
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,520
Wait, I do not have my bags!
411
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,440
I'm shitting in your bags!
412
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,160
I'll have my bags!
413
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:37,810
It is her.
414
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,360
Someone has reported a hate crime.
415
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,800
It's completely disgusting.
416
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,680
It's Sunday! Let me go!
417
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:52,320
-Who is it?
-It's my husband.
418
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,440
I can not reach the sink!
419
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,000
-God, what ...
-With the experiment!
420
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,760
What the hell are you doing?
421
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,200
There's the other one!
They were on both!
422
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,520
With what?
423
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,360
-You know!
-Do I?
424
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,680
Show me what they did, Miriam.
425
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,520
Come on, is this a hate crime?
426
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,520
Not if I do. I'm Jewish so I get.
427
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:20,650
I'm in it.
428
00:19:20,651 --> 00:19:22,199
Maybe I am.
429
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,680
Let me go!
430
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,440
First you have to wash the sink,
small penis!
431
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,120
That's dwarf phobia!
432
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,100
Are you going to sue me?
433
00:19:30,101 --> 00:19:33,199
Save the world, you petrol-hating,
left-wing extremist fool!
434
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,680
Climate hater and homophobic!
435
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,040
Can you be a left-wing extremist?
436
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,120
-I do not know.
-It doesn't matter now.
437
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,080
You get him back.
438
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:09,760
Here's the money for the hairdresser
and I bought a new car seat.
439
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,760
-Why?
-You do not want to know.
440
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:12,890
No why?
441
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,640
The dwarf happened down it.
442
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:17,450
Why?
443
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,640
Fear, excitement, who knows?
444
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,280
Joshie loved that car seat!
445
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:25,120
It's in the recycling bin
if he wants it, but ...
446
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,160
You can not recycle a
car seat, it is made of metal!
447
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,680
You know what? I do not care anymore.
448
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,110
Do you want to flush?
Flush on, swim six times!
449
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:36,800
Run two spoons in the dishwasher,
print all emails since 2004!
450
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:38,560
I shit in which.
451
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,520
-Can I just get some ...
-No.
452
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:46,650
Va?
453
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:48,410
Please!
454
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,640
JOHN LEWIS GIVES USING UNDERWEAR
TO JEWISH RELIEF
455
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,090
DANIEL CRAIG AND SEAN CONNERY
DO NOT JEW
456
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,480
ROGER MOORE, NOT JEWISH
JEWISH ACTORS RATE AS 007
457
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:11,770
Who could guess?
458
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,480
URIN PROVEN DRINKABLE
459
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,480
HAMAS WANTS TO RECEIVE THE NOBEL PEACE AWARD
460
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,040
IMPECCABLE - REPORTAGE
461
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:23,920
"Impeccable."
462
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,280
Fucking car.
463
00:21:27,330 --> 00:21:31,880
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