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1
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:53,930
Thanks for encouraging us
to come to Gay Pride Day, Brian.
2
00:00:54,130 --> 00:00:54,981
Yeah, this seems
like it'Il be fun.
3
00:00:55,181 --> 00:00:57,308
Real fun, not "entertain-
you r-wife's-pa rents-
4
00:00:57,508 --> 00:00:59,069
while-your-wife-
is-at-work" fun.
5
00:00:59,269 --> 00:01:02,188
Laura gets home at 7:00,
so l figure we can stare
6
00:01:02,388 --> 00:01:04,399
at our wine glasses
till then.
7
00:01:08,403 --> 00:01:10,205
So, uh... so, when...
8
00:01:10,405 --> 00:01:13,157
when do you guys think
you're gonna die?
9
00:01:15,577 --> 00:01:16,878
Wow, a parade.
10
00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:18,580
It's like l'm walking
past stuff,
11
00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:19,881
but l'm not going anywhere.
12
00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:22,900
Look, there's the float
commemorating sham marriages.
13
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,920
Sorry, this stomach thing
is acting up again tonight.
14
00:01:25,962 --> 00:01:29,428
Oh, and l'm going on a business
trip to Mykonos for July.
15
00:01:29,628 --> 00:01:33,094
And it says this next one is
the "Shocking Reveal Gay Float."
16
00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:38,061
I had no idea.
17
00:01:38,261 --> 00:01:40,226
Hey, check it out.
18
00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:41,311
There's an air show.
19
00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:46,241
Oh, my God-
they're gonna crash!
20
00:01:46,441 --> 00:01:48,176
No, no, don't worry-
it's a gay air show.
21
00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:50,111
They're just gonna
lightly touch tips.
22
00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:52,914
Aw!
23
00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:55,078
Well, listen up, everybody,
'cause it's time
24
00:01:55,278 --> 00:01:57,243
for our grand prize drawing
for those tickets
25
00:01:57,443 --> 00:01:59,516
to see Celine Dion live
in Las Vegas!
26
00:01:59,716 --> 00:02:01,789
DEEP VOICE
Infertility!
27
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:02,715
Here we go!
28
00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:04,751
Our grand prize winner is...
29
00:02:04,951 --> 00:02:06,669
Brian Griffin.
30
00:02:09,422 --> 00:02:10,698
Wow, l don't believe it!
31
00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:11,975
Hey, congratulations, buddy.
32
00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:16,179
The only thing l ever won
was an extra day of summer.
33
00:02:17,055 --> 00:02:19,265
Okay, Peter-
one more day.
34
00:02:19,465 --> 00:02:21,309
Yay!
35
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:24,312
I saw what l look like
in a car window,
36
00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:26,189
and now l don't want to go.
37
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,244
We now return
to Frank/in and Bash
38
00:02:31,444 --> 00:02:33,321
with Indicators to Show
Which One is Franklin
39
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:34,956
and Which One is Bosh.
40
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:37,950
Defensive blows to their heads
were to send a message...
41
00:02:38,034 --> 00:02:38,877
Oh, sorry, sorry.
42
00:02:39,077 --> 00:02:41,129
"Help me get
into used car sales."
43
00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:43,456
Hey, Stewie, l don't know if
you have any interest in this,
44
00:02:43,656 --> 00:02:45,208
but l was wondering if you
want to go to Vegas with me
45
00:02:45,408 --> 00:02:46,459
and see Celine Dion.
46
00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,336
Are you kidding?
Of course l want to go!
47
00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:49,962
Wow, these are good seats!
48
00:02:50,046 --> 00:02:52,674
I know- apparently they were
donated by Goldman's Pharmacy.
49
00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:55,093
Turns out Mort's cousin
is Celine's opening act.
50
00:02:55,293 --> 00:02:56,269
Really? What's his talent?
51
00:02:56,469 --> 00:02:58,805
I understand he's a
magician of sorts.
52
00:02:59,005 --> 00:02:59,972
All right, for this next trick,
53
00:03:00,056 --> 00:03:02,975
I need a quarter
from the audience.
54
00:03:03,175 --> 00:03:05,186
Okay, thank you.
55
00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:15,413
You almost ready, Stewie?
56
00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:17,198
We should probably start
heading to the airport.
57
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,866
Yes, l was gonna talk to
you about that, actually.
58
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:20,168
Last night, l was
thinking to myself,
59
00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,620
"Why fly, when we can
get there instantly?"
60
00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:23,671
What? What do you mean?
61
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,898
Well, you see, l recently
completed construction
62
00:03:26,098 --> 00:03:28,242
on a teleportation device,
and it occurred to me,
63
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:30,586
this may be the perfect
chance to try it out.
64
00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:37,093
Wow, Stewie,
that's incredible!
65
00:03:37,293 --> 00:03:38,645
Oh, hey, guys.
66
00:03:38,845 --> 00:03:41,222
Peter, what do
you have there?
67
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:44,225
Give me the scissors.
68
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:46,394
I was just gonna make
some masks!
69
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:47,707
Use your scissors.
70
00:03:47,907 --> 00:03:49,021
They're not sharp!
71
00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:51,524
So, what do you say?
72
00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:53,526
Hmm, teleport to Vegas, huh?
73
00:03:53,726 --> 00:03:55,528
All right, let's do it!
74
00:03:57,530 --> 00:04:00,116
Okay, now, the device is
powered by kinetic energy,
75
00:04:00,316 --> 00:04:02,201
so you've got to dance
to make it work.
76
00:04:02,401 --> 00:04:03,670
You, uh... really?
77
00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:06,748
Yeah, you've
got to dance.
78
00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:09,551
What are you doing,
you tool?
79
00:04:09,751 --> 00:04:11,127
Do you know anything
about science?
80
00:04:11,327 --> 00:04:13,755
You just saw
me program it.
81
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,260
What the hell, Stewie?
It didn't work.
82
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:20,094
Hmm, that's odd.
83
00:04:20,136 --> 00:04:21,537
It appears there
may still be
84
00:04:21,737 --> 00:04:23,214
a few more bugs
to work out.
85
00:04:23,414 --> 00:04:24,891
Well, it was
worth a try.
86
00:04:34,484 --> 00:04:36,736
Oh, my God, Stewie-
it-it worked!
87
00:04:36,936 --> 00:04:38,008
We're in Vegas!
88
00:04:38,208 --> 00:04:39,080
Yeah, all right!
89
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,682
Well, let's hit the
hospital, get checked
90
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,085
for teleportation
cancer and then party!
91
00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:46,500
Well, since the teleportation
machine failed to get us
92
00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:48,915
to Vegas, l suppose we should
just catch our plane.
93
00:04:49,115 --> 00:04:50,550
I'Il repair it
when we get back.
94
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:53,294
You know, this is
going to be a good trip, Brian.
95
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,630
I really feel like fate
is on our side.
96
00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:57,256
Scissors are jerks.
97
00:04:57,456 --> 00:04:59,133
And l'm a owl.
98
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:07,266
Oh, wow, look at
that, Stewie.
99
00:05:07,466 --> 00:05:08,067
Perfect timing.
100
00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:11,312
Everything's just
so beautiful here.
101
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,114
This is miserable.
102
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:15,942
Three-hour delay
and a completely full flight.
103
00:05:16,142 --> 00:05:17,952
Don't look at us,
you pig.
104
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:21,117
Take your Juicy sweatpants
and your dirty pillow from home,
105
00:05:21,317 --> 00:05:24,283
and your bucket of Coke, and
get the hell out of my sight.
106
00:05:24,483 --> 00:05:25,952
What was her problem?
107
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:30,131
You see that, Brian?
108
00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:33,417
That's going to be our
penises later, right?
109
00:05:35,795 --> 00:05:38,089
Stewie, that teleportation
machine is amazing.
110
00:05:38,289 --> 00:05:39,549
It's so great
that we're already here.
111
00:05:39,749 --> 00:05:40,767
Yep, drink it in, Bri.
112
00:05:40,967 --> 00:05:43,678
Time to enjoy all the
Bellagio has to offer.
113
00:05:43,878 --> 00:05:44,846
Classic architecture.
114
00:05:45,046 --> 00:05:45,772
Beautiful art.
115
00:05:45,972 --> 00:05:47,482
Plus, the air is clean
because they suck up
116
00:05:47,682 --> 00:05:50,601
all the cigarette smoke and
dump it in the bad hotels.
117
00:05:50,801 --> 00:05:52,278
Smell that, kids?
118
00:05:52,478 --> 00:05:54,547
It's been in a rich
person's mouth.
119
00:05:54,747 --> 00:05:56,816
Hi. We're checking in-
Griffin?
120
00:05:57,016 --> 00:05:58,192
Ah, yes.
121
00:05:58,234 --> 00:05:59,694
I see you've requested
a bed that's good
122
00:05:59,894 --> 00:06:00,695
for bouncing
and jumping?
123
00:06:00,895 --> 00:06:01,883
That is correct.
124
00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:03,061
I am a businessman.
125
00:06:03,261 --> 00:06:04,040
Just sign here, please.
126
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,367
And you can actually keep
that pen if you'd like.
127
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:07,669
No way! Really?
128
00:06:07,869 --> 00:06:08,995
Wow, you see that, Brian?
129
00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:10,421
Good luck already.
130
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:13,065
You know, l know we're
switching to a digital world,
131
00:06:13,265 --> 00:06:15,510
but l-l think this little
guy's still got a place in it.
132
00:06:15,710 --> 00:06:18,004
Hey, we should try one of those
slot machines by the entrance.
133
00:06:18,204 --> 00:06:20,214
You know, they always set
those things to pay out more
134
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:22,008
so they can lure people
into the casino.
135
00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:23,384
Well, that's a great idea.
136
00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:31,726
Oh, my God-
I don't believe it!
137
00:06:31,926 --> 00:06:32,443
Brian, we won!
138
00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:33,945
We won the jackpot!
139
00:06:34,145 --> 00:06:35,405
Oh, this is unbelievable.
140
00:06:35,605 --> 00:06:38,524
I haven't had this much fun
since l hosted the Oscars.
141
00:06:38,724 --> 00:06:39,534
Good evening.
142
00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:42,153
I just want to say
that l have the utmost respect
143
00:06:42,353 --> 00:06:43,383
for women everywhere.
144
00:06:43,583 --> 00:06:44,614
And also, the Jews.
145
00:06:44,814 --> 00:06:46,115
Good night.
146
00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:55,917
Oh, thank God,
we're finally here.
147
00:06:56,117 --> 00:06:57,593
That plane ride took forever.
148
00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:01,255
Kind of weird they showed
Flight 93 on Flight 93.
149
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,558
Hi. We're checking in-
Griffin?
150
00:07:03,758 --> 00:07:06,135
Hmm, l do have a Griffin
here, but that room
151
00:07:06,335 --> 00:07:07,729
was checked into hours ago.
What?
152
00:07:07,929 --> 00:07:10,264
Yes, and l'm afraid we have
no other rooms available.
153
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,183
I see- is there
a less heavy person
154
00:07:12,383 --> 00:07:13,622
that could check again for me?
155
00:07:13,822 --> 00:07:15,061
I'm sorry, we're
all booked up
156
00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:16,646
because the Slut
Convention's in town.
157
00:07:16,846 --> 00:07:18,239
Slut Convention?
Yeah.
158
00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:19,991
They were promised a
single millionaire,
159
00:07:20,191 --> 00:07:22,193
but it's really just a
bunch of horny squirrels
160
00:07:22,393 --> 00:07:23,453
in a rich-guy suit.
161
00:07:23,653 --> 00:07:24,370
So...
162
00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:27,535
you made your money
in business?
163
00:07:27,735 --> 00:07:30,701
Where's your
room, handsome?
164
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:34,688
Can l at least have that pen?
165
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,290
No, that's
Bellagio property.
166
00:07:36,332 --> 00:07:37,258
Aw.
167
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,089
Well, this sucks.
Hey, l'm gonna go try one
168
00:07:39,289 --> 00:07:40,720
of those slot machines
by the entrance.
169
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,697
They always set
those things to pay out more
170
00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,674
so they can lure people
into the casino.
171
00:07:50,096 --> 00:07:52,482
Damn it, Vegas!
172
00:07:52,682 --> 00:07:55,685
Excuse me, where can l find
some smoking Asians?
173
00:07:55,885 --> 00:07:57,603
Oh, everywhere? Okay.
174
00:08:03,109 --> 00:08:07,238
Luck be a lady tonight
175
00:08:09,991 --> 00:08:13,953
Luck be a lady tonight
176
00:08:16,247 --> 00:08:18,962
Luck if you've ever been
177
00:08:19,162 --> 00:08:22,567
A lady to begin with
178
00:08:22,767 --> 00:08:26,173
Luck be a lady tonight
179
00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:33,105
Luck let
180
00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:38,361
A gentleman see
181
00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:41,272
How nice a dame you can be
182
00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:51,640
Oh, my God, this
place is a dump.
183
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:53,534
Well, let's not be
so quick to judge.
184
00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:55,703
It says here there's
a continental breakfast.
185
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,630
Oh, the continent is Africa.
186
00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:59,006
Stewie, this place
is a complete pit.
187
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,208
I mean, doesn't it seem
weird to you that we have
188
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:02,885
to re-check-in
every 20 minutes?
189
00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:06,922
Also the porn is free, but we
have to watch it in the lobby.
190
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,220
Okay, let's see if we can
turn this trip around.
191
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,555
I'm gonna try some blackjack.
192
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:15,398
Here, take $40.
193
00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:16,999
I'm gonna go get
some ice cream.
194
00:09:17,199 --> 00:09:18,601
All right, l'Il
catch up with you.
195
00:09:18,801 --> 00:09:20,436
Hey there...
196
00:09:20,636 --> 00:09:21,529
Denise.
197
00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:23,406
How you doing today?
I don't know.
198
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:26,233
I usually have to check
with my boyfriend first.
199
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:26,993
Oh.
200
00:09:27,193 --> 00:09:29,111
Uh... hit, please.
201
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,572
24? Crap!
202
00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:33,866
Do you know what it's
like to go to the doctor
203
00:09:34,066 --> 00:09:35,743
and see your own foot
in the garbage can?
204
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,045
Okay, you have a good night.
205
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,247
Hey, Stewie, l need
some more money.
206
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:41,874
I lost it all, Brian!
207
00:09:42,074 --> 00:09:42,550
What?
208
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,677
Well, l was on my way
to get ice cream
209
00:09:44,877 --> 00:09:48,089
and l passed a roulette table,
and l put it all on 16
210
00:09:48,289 --> 00:09:50,257
because of that
Taylor Swift song, "Sixteen."
211
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:51,383
That song is
called "Fifteen."
212
00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:52,518
It came up 15!
213
00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:54,562
Stewie, that was all
the money l brought.
214
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,413
I knew l should've brought
Peter instead of you.
215
00:09:56,613 --> 00:09:58,265
Oh, come on, you would've
done much worse with him.
216
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,267
He's got a terrible tell.
217
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,786
Any cards, Peter?
218
00:10:14,986 --> 00:10:16,492
No, l'm good.
219
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,213
Oh, this is gonna be great.
220
00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,965
I hear she puts on
an amazing show.
221
00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:25,292
She does- you'Il be
amazed that that voice
222
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,044
comes out of that face.
223
00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,298
Oh, thank God,
we made it in time.
224
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:32,633
I didn't realize how far
225
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,101
that awful hotel is
from the Strip.
226
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:37,054
The woman who cleaned
our room had no ears.
227
00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:40,808
I'm sorry,
these tickets are invalid.
228
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:41,943
What?
229
00:10:42,143 --> 00:10:43,435
It's showing that they've
already been scanned.
230
00:10:43,519 --> 00:10:44,487
I can't let you in.
231
00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:46,614
Oh, this trip has
been a disaster.
232
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:48,903
I know. l actually thought
I was gonna win big
233
00:10:49,103 --> 00:10:51,193
and get that plastic surgery
I always wanted.
234
00:10:51,393 --> 00:10:52,569
Oh, my God!
235
00:10:52,769 --> 00:10:54,696
Look at him.
236
00:10:54,896 --> 00:10:56,824
He's so cute.
237
00:10:58,284 --> 00:11:00,452
I'm small,
so this is okay.
238
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:06,092
You know what, screw it.
239
00:11:06,292 --> 00:11:08,460
I say we just cut our
losses and fly home.
240
00:11:08,660 --> 00:11:10,838
Yeah, l'm not so sure
about that.
241
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:11,889
What? Why?
242
00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:13,849
Well, l may have...
243
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,763
And-and you are gonna
laugh about this,
244
00:11:15,963 --> 00:11:17,478
if l know your dark
sense of humor,
245
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:21,098
but l may have gambled away
our plane tickets.
246
00:11:21,298 --> 00:11:22,650
You what? How do
you even do that?
247
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:25,857
It's Vegas, Brian.
You can gamble anything.
248
00:11:26,057 --> 00:11:29,064
I'd like to bet
my daughter's virginity on 23.
249
00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:32,193
I'm sorry, it's 31.
250
00:11:32,393 --> 00:11:32,994
Cw!
251
00:11:33,194 --> 00:11:34,662
How's it going here?
252
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:36,664
Not great.
I know what you mean.
253
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:39,041
We just took a pounding
at the craps table.
254
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:41,368
Look, why don't we just
call Lois and the fat man?
255
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:42,473
Maybe they can help us.
256
00:11:42,673 --> 00:11:43,379
I don't know about that.
257
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:45,131
You know that
500 bucks we lost?
258
00:11:45,331 --> 00:11:48,067
I sort of took that from
Lois without asking.
259
00:11:48,267 --> 00:11:51,003
If she finds out it's
all gone, she'Il kill me.
260
00:11:51,203 --> 00:11:51,804
Oh.
261
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:53,931
Did you fellas say you were
in a bit of a fix?
262
00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:56,383
My buddy's got the inside track
on a basketball game.
263
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:57,685
It's a sure thing.
264
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,887
I like how all your teeth
are different shapes.
265
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:01,242
Why are you
telling us this?
266
00:12:01,442 --> 00:12:02,398
What do you want from us?
267
00:12:02,598 --> 00:12:04,191
Honestly,
I'm trying to sell my condo,
268
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,727
and l need people to come
to the open house
269
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:08,029
and talk
about how nice it is.
270
00:12:08,229 --> 00:12:11,523
Wow, the price per square foot
is quite competitive
271
00:12:11,723 --> 00:12:13,150
with similar homes in the area.
272
00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:14,452
Yes, l also love it.
273
00:12:14,652 --> 00:12:16,078
I will likely purchase it
274
00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:18,155
unless others
put in a rival bid.
275
00:12:18,355 --> 00:12:19,206
Well, what's stopping you?
276
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,158
You know, you've always been
so noncommittal
277
00:12:21,358 --> 00:12:22,084
in our relationship.
278
00:12:22,284 --> 00:12:24,045
Do you know how much
it hurt my feelings
279
00:12:24,245 --> 00:12:26,047
when you paused before
introducing me to your parents?
280
00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:28,916
And it's the same reason you
didn't take that job in Denver.
281
00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:30,676
I'm sorry, l didn't mean
to waste your time.
282
00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:33,420
I just remembered my husband
is a total chicken.
283
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:36,632
I'm not 100% sure
what we're doing anymore.
284
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:44,390
It's like l say, the best
thing you can see in Vegas
285
00:12:44,590 --> 00:12:45,858
is bar, bar, bar.
286
00:12:46,058 --> 00:12:48,686
Yeah, and he's not talking
about slot machines.
287
00:12:48,886 --> 00:12:50,071
Ugh!
288
00:12:50,271 --> 00:12:52,318
Stewie, l'm still not sure
this is a great idea.
289
00:12:52,518 --> 00:12:54,566
Relax, Brian; we're betting
on one basketball game.
290
00:12:54,766 --> 00:12:55,743
That's it.
291
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:58,404
Then we'Il be out of debt
and on our way home.
292
00:12:58,604 --> 00:12:59,246
I suppose.
I just wish
293
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,782
we didn't have to borrow money
from a loan shark.
294
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,554
I mean, that guy seemed
pretty serious.
295
00:13:03,754 --> 00:13:05,127
Okay, and just a couple
of remaining items.
296
00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:08,330
Please indicate here
if l look like a schmuck to you.
297
00:13:08,530 --> 00:13:09,790
I'm gonna say "no."
298
00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:12,464
Great. Then please check here
and initial there.
299
00:13:12,664 --> 00:13:15,296
Uh, next, do you think
this is some kind of game?
300
00:13:15,496 --> 00:13:16,639
Urn, no.
301
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:17,973
Okay, initial, please.
302
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,967
And finally, my date of birth.
303
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,468
Was it yesterday?
304
00:13:26,348 --> 00:13:28,400
And that'Il do
it for us here
305
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,978
with Duke losing
by just three points.
306
00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:33,814
We... we lost, Brian.
307
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,607
Oh, crap, we're screwed.
308
00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:38,986
Hey, Stewie, give me
$100 from the backpack.
309
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:40,612
I want to pay a
Wayne Newton look-alike
310
00:13:40,812 --> 00:13:42,239
to beat up a
Rita Rudner look-alike.
311
00:13:42,439 --> 00:13:43,415
I'Il give you $1,000.
312
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:45,743
Pay him to beat up Rita Rudner.
313
00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:48,746
Stewie, we got to get
the hell out of here
314
00:13:48,946 --> 00:13:50,122
before that loan shark finds us.
315
00:13:50,322 --> 00:13:52,249
Yes, you're right.
316
00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:54,714
I've got a bad feeling, Brian.
317
00:13:54,914 --> 00:13:56,609
I've got a good
feeling, Brian.
318
00:13:56,809 --> 00:13:58,505
I'm gonna get
me that honey.
319
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,164
I say, Brian,
this backpack feels
320
00:14:07,364 --> 00:14:08,816
a bit lighter
than it did before.
321
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,667
Well, l wasn't gonna
tell you till later,
322
00:14:10,867 --> 00:14:12,782
but l actually used
part of my portion
323
00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:14,897
to take care of some
personal business.
324
00:14:15,097 --> 00:14:17,649
All right, fine.
325
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:43,601
Hey, boss, it's me.
326
00:14:43,801 --> 00:14:46,261
I just spotted those two idiots
who borrowed all that money.
327
00:14:46,461 --> 00:14:47,679
Yeah, well, now they're
strutting around
328
00:14:47,879 --> 00:14:49,064
in flashy suits.
329
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:51,892
Don't worry; l'Il get that
money back no matter what,
330
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:53,831
and for sure l'm not
gonna stop first
331
00:14:54,031 --> 00:14:55,771
and get some crepes
in the lobby.
332
00:14:55,971 --> 00:14:57,815
Where can l get
some crepes?
333
00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:04,534
Hey, Stewie,
thanks for coming with me.
334
00:15:04,734 --> 00:15:06,073
This really has been
an amazing trip.
335
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,574
Yeah, it's been great.
336
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:08,876
Um, listen, Brian,
337
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:11,203
this might be a good
time to tell you, uh,
338
00:15:11,403 --> 00:15:13,455
I invited, um, somebody
339
00:15:13,655 --> 00:15:15,248
to come to the room.
340
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:16,842
Well, what do you mean?
341
00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:19,086
Oh, that must be him now.
342
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,215
Okay, come on, you look nothing
like your picture in the ad.
343
00:15:23,415 --> 00:15:24,225
Shut up and give
me the money!
344
00:15:24,425 --> 00:15:26,139
What? What the hell
are you talking about?
345
00:15:26,339 --> 00:15:27,853
Okay, l'm starting to think
you're not Apollo.
346
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:30,288
You bastards think you can
just borrow a bunch of money
347
00:15:30,488 --> 00:15:32,724
from a loan shark and then
waste it on tacky suits?
348
00:15:32,924 --> 00:15:34,735
Tacky?
Sir, l'Il have you know
349
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:36,979
I bought this
in the lobby of a casino.
350
00:15:37,179 --> 00:15:38,030
Well, don't shoot.
351
00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:39,606
You must have us confused
with somebody else.
352
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:41,670
We didn't borrow
any money, l swear.
353
00:15:41,870 --> 00:15:43,735
Sounds like somebody
wants to die.
354
00:15:43,935 --> 00:15:44,787
Aah! No, no!
Stewie,
355
00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:46,238
just give him the money
from the backpack.
356
00:15:46,438 --> 00:15:47,823
Okay, okay. Don't shoot.
357
00:15:48,023 --> 00:15:49,250
Wha... It's empty.
358
00:15:49,450 --> 00:15:51,185
It's just Cheerios
and coloring books.
359
00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:52,965
What? Where the hell
is the money?
360
00:15:53,165 --> 00:15:54,546
Sir, we can't give you
any money,
361
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,423
but if you've got
some milk and a bowl,
362
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:59,251
we can give you a pretty
healthy way to start your day.
363
00:15:59,451 --> 00:16:00,252
All right,
enough of this.
364
00:16:00,452 --> 00:16:01,553
You, dog,
365
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:03,305
pick which one of
you two is gonna die.
366
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:06,470
What? You can't ask me
to decide something like that.
367
00:16:06,670 --> 00:16:09,636
The life of every being
is sacred, just like the life...
368
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:10,896
Fine. l'Il kill you.
369
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,273
No, no, kill him.
He's a baby.
370
00:16:12,473 --> 00:16:14,099
He-he won't even remember
he was alive.
371
00:16:14,299 --> 00:16:15,067
You son of a b...
372
00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:17,319
Aah! Stewie!
373
00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:20,397
Now, get us the
money you borrowed.
374
00:16:20,597 --> 00:16:22,774
Oh, my God, Stewie, no!
375
00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:29,156
Yeah, l was booked
for three hours
376
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:31,116
by Archibald Meatpants.
377
00:16:31,316 --> 00:16:33,294
He's... he's dead.
378
00:16:33,494 --> 00:16:35,996
Okay, well, either way,
I'm getting paid,
379
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:38,540
and somebody's
getting torn open.
380
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:43,633
What the hell
are we gonna do, Stewie?
381
00:16:43,833 --> 00:16:45,222
We have no money,
no way to get home,
382
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,508
and one of the loan shark's
goons is probably gonna bust
383
00:16:47,708 --> 00:16:49,384
through that door
any minute and kill us both.
384
00:16:49,584 --> 00:16:51,073
I wish my daddy were here.
385
00:16:51,273 --> 00:16:52,763
He always knows what to do.
386
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:57,443
Oh, son of a bitch.
387
00:16:57,643 --> 00:16:59,044
Well, l better leave a note.
388
00:16:59,244 --> 00:17:00,646
It's the right thing to do.
389
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,218
God, l've never felt
so hopeless.
390
00:17:06,418 --> 00:17:07,790
I mean, what are we
supposed to do?
391
00:17:07,990 --> 00:17:09,363
Just wait for them
to come kill us?
392
00:17:09,563 --> 00:17:10,664
Well, we could
go on the run.
393
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,516
With what money?
And they'd still find us.
394
00:17:12,716 --> 00:17:14,368
Well, why don't we
just hitchhike home?
395
00:17:14,568 --> 00:17:15,544
Even if we could get
back there,
396
00:17:15,744 --> 00:17:18,038
we'd just be putting
the whole family in danger.
397
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,840
I don't see
any way out of this.
398
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,668
Well, there is one
thing we could do.
399
00:17:22,868 --> 00:17:23,802
What? What's that?
400
00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:26,347
We could go out
on our own terms.
401
00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:28,257
What? You're saying
we should kill ourselves?
402
00:17:28,457 --> 00:17:28,849
Well, think about it.
403
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:30,325
We're stuck here,
just waiting
404
00:17:30,525 --> 00:17:31,602
for some mobster
to do it.
405
00:17:31,802 --> 00:17:33,887
At least this way,
we can go out together.
406
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:35,639
But think
about what you're saying.
407
00:17:35,839 --> 00:17:37,191
Brian, we're dead
no matter what.
408
00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:39,188
At least this way,
it'Il be quick and clean.
409
00:17:39,388 --> 00:17:40,986
Well, not clean for the staff
of the hotel,
410
00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:43,313
but that's not really gonna be
our problem anymore.
411
00:17:43,513 --> 00:17:44,490
L-I don't know.
412
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:46,817
Look, it's not like we've got
a lot to live for.
413
00:17:47,017 --> 00:17:47,993
I mean, l'm just gonna
end up like Chris,
414
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:51,029
only l'Il be smart enough
to realize how miserable l am.
415
00:17:51,229 --> 00:17:52,948
And you've only got
a few good years left anyway,
416
00:17:53,148 --> 00:17:55,284
and that's if we even get
out of here alive.
417
00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,828
All right, Stewie.
418
00:17:58,028 --> 00:17:59,880
Let's do it.
419
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,507
Yeah, see, l'm glad
you came around.
420
00:18:01,707 --> 00:18:03,717
You know, the only thing
that was holding me back
421
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,837
even a little is knowing how
much Lois is gonna milk this.
422
00:18:07,037 --> 00:18:10,215
Everyone, l truly want
to thank you for your support
423
00:18:10,415 --> 00:18:13,093
and remind you that,
as far as casseroles go,
424
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:14,019
we're good on pasta,
425
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,722
but we could use
some more dessert items.
426
00:18:19,308 --> 00:18:21,110
Oh, l miss my baby so much,
427
00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:23,103
and l'm more
of a chocolate person
428
00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:25,355
than a fruit person.
429
00:18:32,738 --> 00:18:34,573
Well, this is it.
430
00:18:34,773 --> 00:18:36,345
I guess so.
431
00:18:36,545 --> 00:18:38,118
Count to three?
432
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,545
Yep.
433
00:18:39,745 --> 00:18:42,047
One, two...
434
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:43,298
Three!
I'm sorry.
435
00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:44,758
I can't. l want to live!
436
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,835
I didn't really think
we were gonna do it.
437
00:18:47,035 --> 00:18:48,929
You dick!
438
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,464
Oh, my God, Brian!
439
00:18:50,664 --> 00:18:51,890
Brian, no!
440
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,559
Good Lord, what have l done?
441
00:18:53,759 --> 00:18:55,761
I better get the hell
out of here.
442
00:18:55,961 --> 00:18:57,062
What the deuce?
443
00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:59,348
Where did this come from?
444
00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,768
Well, looks like
Archibald Meatpants
445
00:19:02,968 --> 00:19:04,770
is gonna have a fun night.
446
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:09,783
One-way to Providence, please.
447
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,152
Yeah, how much to get
to Providence?
448
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:13,454
Brian?
449
00:19:13,654 --> 00:19:15,118
Stewie, what the hell?
450
00:19:15,318 --> 00:19:16,617
But how can you be...
451
00:19:16,817 --> 00:19:18,388
Oh, my God.
452
00:19:18,588 --> 00:19:19,960
C-Could it be?
453
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,837
What the hell is going on?
454
00:19:22,037 --> 00:19:23,797
My teleportation machine worked.
455
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,666
Of course it did;
that's how we got here.
456
00:19:25,866 --> 00:19:27,000
No, that's how
you got here.
457
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:27,968
I flew.
458
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,170
The machine must have
created two pairs of us-
459
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,172
one that was teleported
to Las Vegas
460
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:32,973
and the other that wasn't.
461
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,050
You're kidding.
That's unbelievable.
462
00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:36,468
I know, it... Wait.
463
00:19:36,668 --> 00:19:37,886
Where's the other me?
464
00:19:38,086 --> 00:19:39,688
Oh, um... What?
465
00:19:39,888 --> 00:19:41,732
Where is the Stewie
you came with?
466
00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:45,110
Oh, well, th-these thugs
came to shoot you,
467
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,863
and l tried to throw myself
in front of the bullet,
468
00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:50,691
but it must have gone, like,
under my armpit or something
469
00:19:50,891 --> 00:19:52,421
'cause it-it exploded
your face.
470
00:19:52,621 --> 00:19:54,152
Wait, what about
the other me?
471
00:19:54,352 --> 00:19:56,121
Oh, it was so sad.
472
00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,331
You took your own life.
473
00:19:57,531 --> 00:19:59,324
I tried like hell to
talk you out of it,
474
00:19:59,524 --> 00:20:00,959
but you jumped
off a balcony.
475
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:02,503
People keep coming
back every hour
476
00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:03,837
because they think
it's a regular show,
477
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:06,331
like-like the volcano or
the pirate ship thing.
478
00:20:06,531 --> 00:20:07,633
Wow.
479
00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:10,335
Well, l-I'm so glad
you're alive.
480
00:20:10,535 --> 00:20:11,720
Yeah, same with you.
481
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,922
Well, we should
probably head home.
482
00:20:14,122 --> 00:20:15,015
Definitely.
483
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:17,217
Um, uh, the only thing is,
I'm a little short.
484
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,844
Is there any chance
you could cover me
485
00:20:19,044 --> 00:20:19,520
for the ticket?
486
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,847
Oh, let me see
how much l have.
487
00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:27,861
Good news!
I have just enough.
488
00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:30,355
ANNOUNCER
Now departing for Providence.
489
00:20:30,555 --> 00:20:31,794
HEY, did you guys see O?
490
00:20:31,994 --> 00:20:33,033
No, that seemed lame.
491
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,235
You know, the other you
was a lot more fun.
492
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,161
Which one is O?
493
00:20:36,361 --> 00:20:38,013
Is that the-the
swimming one?
494
00:20:38,213 --> 00:20:39,665
Don't-don't try to demean it.
495
00:20:39,865 --> 00:20:42,117
How does it feel to be
the least cultured person
496
00:20:42,317 --> 00:20:43,577
at a bus station?
497
00:20:57,382 --> 00:21:00,010
Hey.35968
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