Original subtitles

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H sit

a

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God I look amazing today

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what the hell happened you

guys stop get away stop

it go away just leave me alone all

right stop me help me

[Applause]

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[ __ ] can either of you change a tire

can't we just call someone there's no

[ __ ] signal

here

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God

a in your

I'm going to get down with you

to when you fall asleep go wake me up

cuz I'm going to go you

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[Applause]

how do I

look you look the same as the last time

you asked me

that

hey that cow

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[ __ ] okay well there was a bug in there

and I thought maybe she want some help I

did not construe that in sexual contact

I still think it's [ __ ] up because she

has no

ears you know that what I told you that

in my Grandpa's funeral she has no ears

and then you still went and touch them

look

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[Applause]

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titties thanks for

stopping looks like you girls got a flat

tire you're [ __ ]

genius well you're in luck cuz I manage

the tire store down in Greenville well

can you manage this

tire pop your

[Applause]

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truck where's your spare spare what tire

spare tire uh oh I don't know

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I'll tell you what I'll give you girls a

ride down to my store in Greenville and

I'll go ahead and fix up your tire for

you how long will that take an hour no

way we're already late for camp and I

heard the coach this here's a real

[ __ ] all right how about this I drive

you girls to your camp and Monday when

my store opens up I'll go ahead and fix

your tire and drive it on down to

you all right

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what's your name what's that that's my

wallet perve

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senorita hand me your keys sayp line up

with the other

ladies Tyler Line the girls up all right

girls let's get lined up come on

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[Applause]

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[Applause]

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see you later whatever

[Applause]

thanks okay ladies no one is going

anywhere this week nothing is going to

distract us from

cheering your keys will be un lock up

until the end of camp at which time you

can go get into all the trouble your

little hearts

desire make him nice and sparkly

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Greg take one thank you and this is my

son Tyler hey [ __ ] he is second in

command land he has been cheering since

the age of five and he has won more

States national and international

cheerleading competitions than any other

man on this

planet and although ladies he is single

staff fraiz with the campers is strictly

forbidden guys we live like 2 miles away

from that place would you go back there

this afternoon I don't know man they

they seem the one with the big Yos was

checking you out

Mikey really I want to mouth a short one

you know go out her like a dog in heat

grabbing little pigtails like handles

yeah we should grab our fishing stuff

and make like we're going fishing does

that mean we're having fish for supper

yes Mikey we're having fish for supper

I'm might to have tuna Taco for supper

there's no tuna in like you

idiot hi hi

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you disgust me you filthy dirty man

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e I'm going to [ __ ] kill my parents

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what I thought you need a light bulb

changed I'm sorry I'll come back later

pervert

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damn I love this

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job did you guys watch American Idol

last night yeah they could they should

make a show like that where they judge

strippers they probably do on some cable

station I would love to hear what Simon

crra would say about the strippers from

Benson Bill honey you are the reason

nudity is obscene if it wasn't for your

missing teeth cesarian Scar and

cellulite you would still be the worst

dancer I've ever

seen hey you remember that time stripper

pulled off her pubic hair and dropped in

my drink why' you do that probably cuz

he wasn't tipping tipping against ry's

religion [ __ ] you I tip cow tip maybe

Randy thinks tip thing is the town in

China took my

pole hang on a second guys I got

something in my shoot

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get that off oh what is that what the

hell is that

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a get it off get that off

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[Laughter]

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[ __ ]

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dude oh no oh

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ah put it out right here

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you need to go easy on the donuts Tyler

put her on half rations yes

ma'am can't afford a

bra and who does your hair your

Gardener where did you get those legs

Purdue what she means you have chicken

legs you ladies probably think you're

here for vacation possibly swim in the

lake toast some s'mores well you're

wrong this is no

vacation your parents paid me a fortune

for you to be here for only one reason

and that is to mold you into the best

Dar cheerleaders in the whole country

hopefully someday you pathetic creatures

will have the fragment of talent that my

son Tyler has your diets will be

strictly

monitored nothing will pass through

those lips without my say so bedtime is

9:00 p.m. sharp and R is at 7 a.m.

what's

rly now who is ready to do some

cheering I said who is ready to do s

cheering now let's see what you ladies

can

do B aggressive b e aggressive b e a g r

e s s i

[Applause]

e stop stop stop why are you guys even

here oh I know why because if it wasn't

for cheering all you little [ __ ] would

be going around popping out illegitimate

babies Tyler show these so-called

cheerleaders how it's

done go bananas go bananas Go Go Bananas

swing to the left swing to the right

peel your banana and take a bite go

banana

that was the vicious [ __ ] squirrel I

ever

saw hey do you think that thing had

rabies no man squirrels eat nuts they

can't get rabies sure at your

nuts Go Bananas go bananas Go Go Bananas

swing to the left swing to the right

peel a banana and take a bite

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he

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nah

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nah

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[Applause]

go team go go team

go you did that on purpose you [ __ ] I

did not you're too

heavy did you just call me

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fat the shoe fit

stop it stop it there is no eye

inan everybody just cool off go take a

shower bites

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hey instead of using these gr showers

let's go to the lake okay

[Applause]

okay I'm

so not a very clean one

[Applause]

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hey pretend like you're

fishing dude you dropped your pole no I

didn't

I got one I got one

[Applause]

[Music]

oh what are you doing here

fishing catch anything not yet you know

I have a cabin not far from here if you

guys want to come and hang out oh I

don't think we can we're not allowed to

leave Camp they run this place like a

stupid prison could we meet you here

then um I don't think

so we can bring some beer and

weed gr

huddle I think the big gu is kind of hot

well if they bring weed I don't mind

okay um meet us at our cabin at

10: okie

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dokie I got to rest for a second guys

[Applause]

what is

this I don't know

what are we

eating I see you have a go go banana on

your that guy is gay as

[ __ ] God you think his mom

knows no no he's the he's eligible was

that the word eligible single something

like that yeah either of you interested

I'm not hell

no hey guys

you're not as pretty as us you can't sit

here Kelly you can sit

here they should say you're not as bchy

as them

Nikki conquered that eating disorder I

see

[Laughter]

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you

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[ __ ] you can go

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next week on cheerleader Island

okay girls this week the challenge

consists of stripping down to your

underwear and then going to the whipped

cream table and lathering up your

neighbor with whipped cream from head to

toe and lick it all off her in less than

1 minute oh wait I just want to know

like is this light whipped cream or like

regular fat whipped cream powdered blue

those pink [ __ ] are trying to take us

down are we going to stand for that

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For the Love of pink bunnies what in the

world is going on in here

my Mikey what the [ __ ] get rest

man still don't feel

good come on man rally see some hot

cheerleaders tonight

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with the new

diamond come

on

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up I don't care if you're right [ __ ]

getting my dick wh I'm not

damn you know what [ __ ] that you can do

the rest all

right Jack

Ass On The Edge of

Time when the [ __ ] space lights

H your right in Sp not the mother is you

chist raise your head friend this space

weapons by your side proudly scream

space Band tell you [ __ ]

[Music]

[Applause]

the oh God damn Mikey what the [ __ ] died

in your

mouth open it

up wait lift your arms up too

all

right let's go

buddy bye

Lucy come in

do you know

astronomy I'll teach

you so what are you studying uh history

really me too you go to college well I

finished one year I'm taking a year off

to save some

money I want to be an archaeologist get

out like Indiana Jones yeah I love those

movies I can't really see you digging

around in the dirt oh she can get

dirty shut up

Nikki I I have a tomboy

side hey Ashley remember when we went to

Camp back in seventh grade yeah Camp

poison oak good times remember when we

snuck out that night shut up Nikki

please don't tell that story tell us

yeah tell it so

it was me Ash and uh that girl Maria

that moved to Alaska hey why did she

move to Alaska who cares still a story

nice try Ashley so there was this really

cute camp counselor and Ashley had a big

crush on him oh [ __ ] you Nikki you liked

him too well he told us to come over to

his cabin some night so we snuck out and

went over to his cabin it was it was

around like 2: a.m. or something and

then we we crawled under his window and

we could we could hear

this like like someone was having sex or

something damn how old was he I don't

know probably our age now well anyways

so we finally got the courage to peek

our heads up and look through the window

like this is not a nice story what' you

say Ashley's boyfriend was [ __ ] a

watermelon

did he see you how do you [ __ ]

watermel probably he never spoke to us

again like you cut a hole in it or

[Music]

something did you know

Napoleon's penis is on display in a jar

in

Paris ew M you know I heard uh Hitler

only had one testicle I heard he was

really a woman no way a woman could

never be that much of an [ __ ] ever

hear of Elizabeth B she was a 16th

century Dutchess they used to kill young

girls and bathe in their blood she

killed hundreds before they caught her

okay she was a

[ __ ] I knew a woman who's that much of

an

[ __ ] coach

Sullivan God she's like a combination of

a church lady and a drill sergeant

nothing's going to stop us from

cheerleading this week give me your keys

[Laughter]

what are you still doing us cew is at

9:00 I'm sorry to bother you coach but I

thought you should know that there are

boys in the camp

show

[Music]

me you little [ __ ] get out of my Camp

you filthy little Billy go get out get

out get out get out get out get out get

out get out get

out just for this you are confined to

your cabins tomorrow night after supper

and you will miss the campfire

[Music]

Circle

flexibility it is essential to good

cheering come on now if it doesn't hurt

you you're not doing it

[Music]

right sweet baby Jesus girl you need to

see the

nurse somebody help her I'll

[Music]

go

here you psycho [ __ ]

yeah sweet

Jesus you're going to fry me for

this I know uh I'll drive to I'll drive

to Mexico and uh uh yeah that's it I'll

drive to Mexico and then and shave my

head and and live in the [ __ ] jungle

a

[Applause]

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[Applause]

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score two more Take It To The Hoop score

two more Take It To The Hoop score two

more Take It To The Hoop score two more

Take It To The Hoop score two more Take

It To The Hoop score two more Take It To

The Hoop score two more Take It To The

Hoop score two more Take It To The Hoop

score two more Take It To The

Hoop shoot shoot drible drible shoot

shoot take that ball to the hoop hoop

dribble dribble shoot shoot take that

ball to the hoop ho drible drible shoot

shoot take that

ball for

[Applause]

what

you come on

now take a

[Applause]

bite great job girls now everybody can

break for

[Applause]

dinner

God hey ashle

how was your party last

night you [ __ ] you ratted on us don't

call me a

[Music]

[ __ ] okay now I'm going to [ __ ] kill

[Music]

you stop it stop it cheerers don't fight

we

[Music]

[Applause]

chear we should say something yeah

yeah then say something why me your

dad's a preacher okay right right okay

got

it dear the Beloved we are gathered here

today that's for weddings

dude okay I don't know what to say for

funerals just get on with it right

right dear God we're so sorry that we

cut Mikey in half with the

chainsaw that's all you got okay dear

God please accept Mikey into your heart

in your kingdom of

heaven and cuz he was a really good guy

and we we're going to miss him a lot

amen

amen you better go make sure the girls

are all right bye

[Music]

buddy she is so

binging where's

Britney where is Britney

[Music]

[Applause]

something weird is going on here

[Music]

the Ark of cheerleading It's a

combination of both physical and mental

disciplines it also includes the

Elements of Dance acrobatics singing and

aerobics Che leading it's not just a

sports it's a way of

life the standards to be met are so high

that us experts often refer to him as

Spirit

leader

perhaps one day some of you will be able

to attain this level

okay

girls let's go around the circle and you

tell me what cheerleading means to

you cheerleading lets me be part of a

team and bond with

others cheerleading means the world to

me I'm just glad I got to work with a

world class trainer like coach

suvan oh how sweet next cheerleading

lets me get close to the cute football

players absolutely

I have raw natural Talent cheerleading

lets me show my stuff that is

dripping how about you Bailey what's

cheerleading mean to

you come on spit it

out oh God

baby Charlotte go give me a towel

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H sit

oh

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a

a God I look amazing

[Music]

today what the hell happened you

guys stop get away Stop

It Go away just leave me alone all

right stop somebody help me

[Applause]

[Music]

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a a

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you

okay go damn

[Music]

[ __ ] there more of them [ __ ] come on

let's get

inside what the hell is going on here

why is everybody going

psycho

zombies everybody's turning into zombies

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

it's the Rapture shut up Nikki it's not

the [ __ ] Rapture what the [ __ ] is the

rapture

Armageddon the final final battle

between good and

evil the Dead Walking the Earth that's

[ __ ] if it is zombies something must

have started it people don't just wake

up in the morning and turn into

zombies

yesterday when we were coming down here

Mikey was bitten by this psycho [ __ ]

squirrel and the next morning he woke up

and he wasn't

zombie he tried to eat us we had to kill

him you're telling me a squirrel started

all this apparently

so oh my God Britney was with Mikey last

night maybe he gave the zombie VD to her

we need to go get help well if you can't

all right there's too many of them out

there Britney is out there we have to

get help look I'm sorry all right but

you just can't go [ __ ] walking

outside

[Music]

they're just standing there

like like

zombies

yeah I think it'd be the most painful

way to die

burning to

death I heard that when they burn people

at the Stak they tie tiny barrs of

gunpowder to

them fire sets it off and kills them

quickly did you know in England it was

once considered a more serious crime to

count it coins than to murder

someone I wouldn't mind dying in a plane

crash I think that'd be pretty

cool I heard about this plane crash in

Central

America this plane just broken midair

all the people flew out their clothes

were stripped off CU of the high

winds the jungle

blows strewn with naked people I heard

about that one there was one Survivor a

uh a girl she fell into a tree and it

broke her phone

you

guys please promise me if they get

me don't let me become one of them shut

up why are we just waiting here I want

to go home I don't want to be here come

on now I'll be all

right we get out of this

[Music]

gosh I feel so claustrophobic

[Music]

hold still hold

still Dam

oh

ankle oh look at it oh you're going to

be all right look at that

[Music]

for

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh my

goodness what is going on here you girls

look like you're all on dope this is

absolutely the worst cheerlead and I

have ever

seen have I not taught you all anything

this week everyone one lap around the

lake right now and I mean it charlet

K

[Music]

Kelly hey guys what's up

a gone hey guys wake up theyve

gone let's run to my place then we can

call the police I can't run that far

with my

ankle the car keys are kept in the mess

if we could get there we could take a

car out of

here let's go

[Music]

where do they keep the car keys campers

aren't allowed to use the

cars don't you know what's going on

zombies are

attacking they're

coming what the hell what are those

things zombies oh my God

where do they keep the car

keys here these are my keys they're all

out there surrounded

[Music]

[ __ ] we have to find some more weapons

there's an Archer res setting here

somewhere oh God target arrows these

won't hurt

anything we could pull pull off the

blunt ends and sharpen the

[Music]

points hey guys

look I found some garlic so aren't they

supposed to be afraid of garlic or

something that's vampires not zombies

you dumb [ __ ] bimbo well I'm sorry Mr

knowit all I didn't study zum biology in

school you know

oh [ __ ] [ __ ] give me that what the [ __ ]

[Music]

w

[Music]

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what's

that it's a car

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

hey call somebody get back in your car

no call the police back in your

car oh my God behind you

[Music]

son of a

[ __ ]

[Applause]

damn wait his car's still running if we

could just make it that 50 ft not with

all of them out there especially not

with Nikki's sprained ankle

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

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45 points

[Applause]

I'm tired of just sitting here waiting

for something to

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

happen looks like Randy finally won

Nikki over

[Music]

wait time down time down

[Music]

[Music]

hey

buddy you ain't going anywhere in those

ropes I tied them myself got a little

something on oh there we go

bye-bye

buddy [ __ ] they're getting in [ __ ]

[ __ ]

Tyler

Tyler Tyler

Tyler Tyler Tyler

[Music]

[Applause]

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God come on let's go

[Music]

the [ __ ]

[Music]

[Applause]

Happ sting on this cloud

none the things that I know

now nothing's going to get me down free

as the win free as the

win it's been a long long time since I

could say I felt so

fine nothing trou in my mind ever again

ever again

once my life was feel the sorrow always

live for

tomorrow but now looking back on where

I've been I

say no never

again no never

again no never

again now never again

all right I'm going to go get something

to drink then we're going to call the

sheriff and tell them what's going

on hope they believe

us I'll be right back

and I

want my de

[Music]

children for

w

a for