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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,337
You jerk.
It's not funny.
2
00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:05,339
Yes, it is.
Stop it!
3
00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:07,408
(running footsteps)
(door slams)
4
00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:10,744
ANNOUNCER: Better Things.
All new Thursdays at 10:00
on FX.
5
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:16,750
FXX presents You're the Worst.
6
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:22,690
(indistinct announcement
over P.A.)
7
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:24,992
Hi.
8
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,760
I need a car.
9
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,129
Mr. Collins?
10
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,165
Gretchen?
11
00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:32,433
(chuckles)
12
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:33,834
Hiya.
13
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,003
Wow. Look at you.
14
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,772
Look at... you.
15
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:41,175
My, oh, my.
You're so grown-up.
16
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:44,078
I always wondered how your face
would fill out.
17
00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:47,014
You get these students sometimes
and they just don't look
18
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,949
like high school kids.
19
00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:50,684
Every new semester you see
20
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:54,288
one or two that look more like
unformed adults.
21
00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:56,724
So, what's the haps?
22
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:59,393
You ever become
a marine biologist?
23
00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:02,096
Yes, actually.
24
00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:04,798
I'm at the
University of Santa Barbara.
25
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:07,735
I'm a professor emeritus
of cephalopod study.
26
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:10,971
I basically just play
with octopuses all day.
27
00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:12,573
Don't you mean octopi?
28
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:15,809
-No, we changed it back
to octopuses. -(phone rings)
29
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:17,411
Hi, Daddy.
30
00:01:17,445 --> 00:01:18,979
Hi, honey.
Where are you?
31
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,948
On the plane.
We just landed.
32
00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:22,816
Good. Melody's doing fine.
33
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:25,286
Her cervix is only
four centimeters.
34
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:26,954
That's one tiny cervix.
(chuckles)
35
00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:29,323
No, no. I meant th-that's
how much it's dilated.
36
00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:31,058
Yes, I know. I-I was joking.
37
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,926
-It was just a little...
-Anyway, listen.
38
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,163
I need you to stop by the house
and get my eye drops.
39
00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:36,797
And don't forget Banshee.
40
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:39,467
Right. And don't forget
to feed Banshee.
41
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,001
Banshee's still alive?
42
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:44,138
-Are you deplaning yet?
-Excuse me, miss.
43
00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:46,140
Do you need help getting
your bag down?
44
00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:47,475
Yeah, I should go.
45
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,343
All right, we'll see you soon.
46
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,014
So, you stopped teaching?
47
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,417
Oh, yup, yup.
48
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,951
Retired.
49
00:01:57,985 --> 00:02:00,788
Oh. Ah.
50
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,692
Now, Gretchen,
51
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:07,828
can I tell you about our
award-winning coverage package?
52
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:09,463
I'll take all of it.
53
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:11,031
MR. COLLINS:
Shoot.
54
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,866
Looks like all of our
standard vehicles are out.
55
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,035
I'll just take whatever you got.
56
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,772
So...
57
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,608
How long are you in town?
58
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,643
-*
-(plane passes overhead)
59
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:27,881
*
60
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,820
* I'm gonna leave you anyway
61
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:35,823
* I'm gonna leave you
anyway *
62
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,258
* Gonna leave you anyway.
63
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:45,366
*
64
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,707
* You might come around
65
00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:58,679
* Someday
66
00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,180
* Transmissions
67
00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:03,351
* I've found
68
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:06,153
* Fading
69
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,188
*
70
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:18,165
* From old tapes we made
71
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,067
* Ooh
72
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,869
* A picture
73
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,337
(cat mews)
74
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,873
* That opens the same
75
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,174
-* Ooh
-(cat mews)
76
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,042
* It's all right
77
00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:31,912
Hi, Banshee.
78
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:35,349
* They get lost
in the troposphere *
79
00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:37,117
*
80
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,087
* Days go by
81
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,955
* And I dream of it
82
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:44,758
*
83
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:47,895
* In the new year
84
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:51,299
* I'll come around
85
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,567
* In the new year
86
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,906
(grunts)
87
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,542
* Forms in my view
88
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,977
(sighs)
89
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:07,247
* They're changing
90
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:11,552
* From the ones that I knew
91
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,721
(coughs)
92
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,789
* To display
93
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:18,592
* Everything slow
94
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,594
* Ooh
95
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,966
* Or the pressure below
96
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:29,437
* Ooh
97
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:36,076
* They get lost
in the troposphere *
98
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:39,447
*
99
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,316
* Days go by and I dream of it
100
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:45,252
*
101
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:48,989
* In the new year
102
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,992
* I'll come around
103
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:54,528
* In the new year
104
00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,564
*
105
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:00,334
(tapping keys)
106
00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:03,471
* I'll come around
107
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,973
* In the new year...
108
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:21,088
Holy shit. You didn't die?
109
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,995
(indistinct chatter)
110
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:32,332
*
111
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:38,572
Hey!
112
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,557
(both laugh)
113
00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:09,102
-You've really never been
to L.A.? -Nope.
114
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,672
Who hasn't been to L.A.?
115
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,441
I don't like the sunshine.
116
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:15,175
Why, because of the cancer?
117
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,579
What? No. Just...
118
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:20,013
Yeah, maybe.
119
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,415
Never thought of that.
120
00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:22,716
You should come.
121
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,051
It's great.
122
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,886
The tacos are like...
123
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:28,956
It's insane.
I can't even get into it.
124
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,059
It's great you did this.
125
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:33,527
I remember we always
used to talk
126
00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:35,028
about taking over this place.
127
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,196
No, we didn't.
128
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,565
Are you kidding? Yeah, we did.
129
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,099
Like, all the time.
130
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:41,301
Buy the roller rink,
make it cool.
131
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:44,371
Make sure Dana Miller
can never go in, bitch.
132
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,440
I don't remember that.
133
00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:48,942
Last year the owner died, and
they were gonna tear it down,
134
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,879
and I had money from my grandma,
so I just...
135
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,447
Anyway, I'm so in debt.
136
00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:54,982
It's not what I thought.
137
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,283
DEEJAY (over speaker):
All right, everybody.
138
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:59,152
It's dance skate time!
139
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,954
If you're not ready
to shake your booty
140
00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:03,056
like it did you wrong,
141
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,825
-clear the floor.
-Uh, excuse me, no.
142
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,560
You're staying.
143
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,496
No. Seriously. I'll just wait
right over there.
144
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,097
No. Seriously.
145
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,299
*
146
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:23,276
(female singer vocalizing)
147
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:31,885
*
148
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:36,590
* Boy
149
00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:39,292
* If you knew
150
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:43,330
* Just how I feel
151
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:44,665
* When we meet
152
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,933
* With our heads
153
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,101
* Up in the stars
154
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,871
* Oh, oh
155
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,940
-* Dance
-(whooping)
156
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,474
* Don't cry
157
00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:57,477
(whooping)
158
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,780
*
159
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,982
(whooping)
160
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,456
What happened?
You were so sick when I left.
161
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,660
Mm, operations, five in all.
162
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:15,729
Coupled with the numerous rounds
of chemo. Mm.
163
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:18,365
Science is good.
164
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:20,333
So, college and then...
165
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,869
Why did you move back here?
166
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,303
I like it here.
167
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,739
Anyway, my family's here.
168
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:28,308
-That's exactly why I don't
live here. -(phone rings)
169
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,010
Hello?
170
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,979
It's Dad. Where are you?
171
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,548
It's been a total disaster.
172
00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:36,550
They lost my bags,
and then I got home,
173
00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:39,252
and you're out of cat food,
and Banshee bit me.
174
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:41,989
GRETCHEN'S FATHER: Really?
Sorry. We've been so busy.
175
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,157
It's okay, Daddy.
176
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,595
Anyway, I am just
on my way to the store now.
177
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,830
-I will be there soon.
-Okay, so...
178
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,865
(phone beeps, clicks)
179
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:58,238
Heidi, this place
is just so amazing.
180
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:00,107
You should do special events.
181
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:03,410
You should do Eggs and Porn.
182
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:05,679
-What?
-Eggs and Porn.
183
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,280
You serve breakfast,
184
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:09,750
and also, there's retro porn
playing on the TVs.
185
00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:11,619
It's really kitschy and fun.
Plus, the posters
186
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:14,387
are really easy because
fried eggs look like boobs.
187
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:17,557
You realize children are
a big part of our clientele?
188
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,292
Just put the TVs up high.
189
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,895
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen,
the rink is now closed.
190
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,064
-Please return your skates...
-We should go to our mall!
191
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,899
Our mall died.
192
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,635
-What?!
-Apparently, it's just
193
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:30,971
stray dogs, meth heads
and teens partying now.
194
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,373
(gasps)
195
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:37,444
-GRETCHEN: This is so sad.
-(train whistle blowing)
196
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:40,547
Our mall is dead.
197
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,817
-HEIDI: Do you buy everything
online now? -Totally.
198
00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:47,387
Then this is your fault.
199
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,323
GRETCHEN:
It is kind of beautiful.
200
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,492
(water dripping)
201
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:54,594
This is crazy!
202
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,730
I know.
203
00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:59,800
-First got my ears pierced
over there. -(distant thudding)
204
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:02,770
I first got fingered
in that dressing room.
205
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:05,572
Mm. (laughs)
206
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,407
-(indistinct chatter)
-Yeah.
207
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,577
-'Sup, shorties?
-TEEN BOY: Hello.
208
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,480
Anyways,
it's just a rip-off that our
209
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,849
-so-called advisors don't have
any... -We used to shop here.
210
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:18,618
Cool.
211
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,287
You meth heads?
212
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,690
No, we're j-juniors.
213
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,124
Gross.
214
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,625
Where's your booze?
215
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,695
We're just hanging out.
216
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,596
(Gretchen laughs)
217
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,298
(bottles clinking)
218
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,701
-(indistinct chatter)
-(Gretchen sighs)
219
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,572
(Gretchen sighs)
220
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,012
Mm. (guttural gasp)
221
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,613
Okay.
222
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,849
I'm officially
in sense memory overload.
223
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:54,621
So... what?
224
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,623
You're living here.
225
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,492
Roommates? Boyfriends?
Girlfriends?
226
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:01,695
There isn't much.
227
00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:04,631
I write a little, bike a lot.
228
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,400
Try and keep the rink afloat,
mostly.
229
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,036
Yeah, but you're doing it.
230
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,738
You know,
the whole big-fish thing?
231
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:14,307
I have that urge sometimes,
just to pack it all in.
232
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,710
What do you have there
that's so different?
233
00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:18,478
I already told you
about the tacos, right?
234
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,613
(laughs)
235
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,584
I'm sorry
I wasn't there for you.
236
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:27,387
It was a long time ago.
237
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,257
I should have come
to the hospital, though.
238
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,192
Oh, I forgot to tell you!
239
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,227
Guess who is working
240
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:37,898
at the car rental agency
at the airport.
241
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:39,833
Mr. Collins!
242
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:42,169
He watches all
my Instagram stories.
243
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,771
He's so creepy.
244
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:47,674
You, uh, know why
he got fired, right?
245
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,277
-No.
-He was caught
246
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,012
taking up-skirt shots
of students.
247
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,081
He posted 'em
on the "Panty Sluts" subreddit.
248
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:57,184
-Gross!
-Oh, I knew something was up!
249
00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:01,588
Uh, hey, you guys have
a dead mall. You're wasting it
250
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:04,424
-by not drinking. -Thanks
for the advice. -(scoffs)
251
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,794
That wasn't technically advice.
252
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,862
GRETCHEN:
She owns the skating rink so if
253
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,697
you're mean to her,
you can never skate.
254
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,232
You're banned for life.
255
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:13,801
HEIDI:
Yeah!
256
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:16,069
You're not banned.
257
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,470
What are two
30-year-old women doing
258
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:18,806
hanging out with high schoolers?
259
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,640
Okay, now you're banned!
260
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:23,110
(train whistle blowing)
261
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:26,146
Wait. We have
that A.P. History essay.
262
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:28,048
(speaking gibberish mockingly)
263
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,649
Don't be a pussy.
264
00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:31,118
Aw, shit!
265
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:32,786
-Oh!
-Colin!
266
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,297
I don't understand what we're
expected to do. You raised us
267
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:47,000
to need the constant feedback
that comes from this.
268
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,668
We didn't raise shit, sucka! Oh!
269
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,503
TEEN GIRL:
It's the marketers.
270
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:54,307
It's just to get us addicted
so they can advertise to us.
271
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,743
And that's why I purposefully
don't buy anything
272
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,445
that they advertise to me.
273
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:01,348
You saw Deadpool,
like, five times.
274
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:04,684
See? Then I fell for it, too.
I'm no better.
275
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:07,587
-It's just really stressful.
-It's so stressful.
276
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,290
-It really is.
-Oh, my God!
277
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:13,026
-Ugh!
-(bottle shatters)
278
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:15,595
You guys are
the worst teens ever!
279
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,931
This can't be
what you're all like.
280
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,300
Come on. Truth or dare?
281
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,601
-Dare. -(skateboard rolls,
bottle clinks)
282
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,872
Kiss that one.
283
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,551
You cool?
284
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:46,559
Ah.
285
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,061
(Heidi laughs)
286
00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:49,963
(Gretchen laughs airily)
287
00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:52,299
M-My turn!
Truth or dare?
288
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,667
GRETCHEN:
No, you guys aren't playing.
289
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,803
Why did you let her do that?
290
00:13:56,836 --> 00:14:00,740
Guys, you know
this is the best time, right?
291
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:04,377
It is all downhill
from here, for real!
292
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,213
I mean, you do get hotter
293
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:08,515
and get to do or eat whatever
you want-- and that's awesome--
294
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:11,418
but things are new right now,
295
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:14,687
-and you feel things so hard,
-(punches hand)
296
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:17,824
and that is beautiful!
297
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:21,694
Grown-up stuff sucks,
is what I'm saying.
298
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:22,996
(train whistle blowing)
299
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:26,766
Um, can I have a... a cigarette?
300
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,108
What's your name?
301
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,576
Rosemary Felton.
302
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:41,381
I'm Haley... Wallish.
303
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:44,517
Wait. Are you related
to Darius Wallish?
304
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,386
That's my dad.
305
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:49,222
Your dad? Darius is your dad?
Are you kidding?
306
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:50,723
You know him?
307
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:53,426
(gasping)
I was his senior prom date
308
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:56,363
when I was a freshman! Uh.
309
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,698
We totally fu...
310
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,901
I had...
fun dancing with your father.
311
00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:04,771
(laughing):
We... danced.
312
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,139
(laughing)
313
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:07,907
Like three times.
314
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,277
-(laughter)
-What?
315
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:13,380
Well, three and a half.
We hand-danced in the car.
316
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,950
(laughter)
317
00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:21,488
-Why are you laughing?
-(laughter continues)
318
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,959
HEIDI:
You always give the best braids.
319
00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:29,129
My aunt taught me. She moved
to Europe when I was eight.
320
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:32,432
-I was devastated.
-I remember.
321
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,267
I cried so hard.
322
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,903
Cried and cried.
323
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,506
You were patient with me.
324
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,411
(Heidi sighs)
325
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,413
(Gretchen sighs)
326
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,749
Mr. Collins said
he always used to wonder
327
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:52,119
what some students would
look like when they grew up,
328
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:53,953
like, when they were
a real person.
329
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:58,125
-I wonder if he ever up-skirted
me. -Now I know what he meant.
330
00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,860
It's so nice to see you older,
331
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:03,663
to see what you ended up
looking like.
332
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:06,333
It's nice to see tiny wrinkles.
333
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,668
Gee, thanks.
334
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,804
No. It's good. It is!
335
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:15,142
You lived long enough
to get wrinkles.
336
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,377
I have something for you.
337
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:28,788
Aw, remember
your mom's Snickerdoodles?
338
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:32,159
Remember when something like
cinnamon could make you happy?
339
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:34,861
Cinnamon still makes me happy.
(inhales deeply)
340
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:37,530
I have cinnamon toast
all the time.
341
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,332
How?
342
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,401
I just make it.
343
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:42,902
You make it?
344
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:44,637
It's just sugar
345
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,140
and cinnamon, Gretchen.
346
00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:49,209
Yeah, but how do you know
how to buy cinnamon?
347
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:50,843
Are you serious?
348
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:52,512
Uh, yeah.
Who knows that?
349
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:53,980
Cinnamon?
(scoffs)
350
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,382
Is there a spice store?
351
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:56,983
Does it come in sticks?
352
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,319
Do you have to grind it up
like a frontiers lady?
353
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,853
Don't be stupid.
354
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:03,756
I mean, Jesus.
355
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,558
You're an adult.
356
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:08,528
-Jesus.
-Well, it's true.
357
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,697
COLIN:
Uh, just so you know--
358
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:14,267
I've had sex.
Like... the big kind.
359
00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:16,069
-Yeah?
-Good for you.
360
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,380
Tell you what.
361
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:32,051
If you eat this entire
can of cat food,
362
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,920
I will suck your dick.
363
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:10,223
You made a deal.
364
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:11,758
COLIN:
She's right.
365
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:14,594
You made a deal.
366
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,129
Do you have another can?
367
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,103
Okay, then.
368
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,095
-(door slams open) -(gasps)
-Police! Everyone hold still.
369
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,430
-Shit!
-Get your hands up!
370
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,999
Don't make any sudden moves!
371
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:55,502
-Colin! -Which way do we go?
-I don't know!
372
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:57,670
-HEIDI: That way! -OFFICER: Hey,
come back... Come here!
373
00:18:57,704 --> 00:19:00,373
-(shrieking)
-(shouting)
374
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:01,641
*
375
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:02,975
-(engine starts)
-(Gretchen panting)
376
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:05,011
(engine revs, tires squeal)
377
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,218
(siren wailing)
378
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,619
Whose siren is that?
379
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,387
Can you see him?
380
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:18,057
No. But I think
he's following us somehow.
381
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,792
-Shit!
-(engine revving)
382
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,561
Just pull over!
383
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:22,695
I have a record!
384
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,678
(siren continues wailing)
385
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,255
Okay.
386
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:49,289
(screams)
387
00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:51,591
(both panting)
388
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:54,193
(engine stops)
389
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:03,270
(ignition sputters)
390
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,315
Well, Mr. Collins pressured me
to take full coverage.
391
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:26,993
Goddamn pervert.
392
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:34,601
(yells)
393
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,370
(laughs)
394
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,038
GRETCHEN:
Those kids--
395
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,207
I mean, yeah,
396
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,875
they were puking their guts out
397
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,478
or eating cat food for BJs,
398
00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:47,447
but they were just
hanging out together,
399
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,115
and that was enough.
400
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:51,217
That used to be enough.
401
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,953
Boy, I got off track somewhere.
402
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,894
I was thinking I move back and
we run the roller rink together.
403
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,763
Don't say anything, but...
404
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:05,632
I'm serious.
405
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:08,935
I probably have a new niece
or nephew by now, and...
406
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,804
our family cat is not
gonna be around forever.
407
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:13,440
Don't move back here, Gretchen.
408
00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:16,976
No, I know. But it's not
out of desperation. I want to.
409
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,811
Well, I don't want you to.
410
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:21,414
Is it because I ghosted you
411
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:22,982
in high school?
We talked about that.
412
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:25,818
You didn't ghost me.
413
00:21:25,852 --> 00:21:27,920
Uh, I did.
414
00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,089
Well, you might have,
415
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,325
I just wasn't aware of it.
416
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:35,762
Gretchen, we weren't
friends then.
417
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:38,431
Well, maybe we weren't as...
418
00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:40,533
day-to-day close,
419
00:21:40,567 --> 00:21:42,469
but we were absolutely friends.
420
00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:44,371
I have a picture.
You were all cancery.
421
00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:46,706
That was when I came back
the first time.
422
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:50,042
Everyone wanted a piece
of that sweet cancer action.
423
00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:52,311
I took photos with everyone.
424
00:21:52,345 --> 00:21:53,980
The reason you never
came to the hospital
425
00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:56,182
is because I never
invited you.
426
00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:59,318
I don't even know what
you're talking about here.
427
00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:01,554
We weren't friends
after eighth grade.
428
00:22:01,588 --> 00:22:03,890
You became a shape-shifter.
429
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,224
A what?
430
00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:07,026
I know you had family shit
431
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:09,061
and you couldn't
be yourself around them,
432
00:22:09,095 --> 00:22:10,497
but you'd straight-up
act like someone different
433
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:12,131
depending on who you were with,
434
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,133
then pretty soon
there's no real Gretchen.
435
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,068
We'd be best friends on Friday
436
00:22:16,102 --> 00:22:18,738
and on the Monday
you'd look right through me.
437
00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:22,141
You're just not a great bet
to invest too deeply in.
438
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:24,143
Everyone liked you
or wanted you,
439
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:26,312
but no one knew you.
440
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:29,048
Well...
441
00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:30,583
I mean...
442
00:22:30,617 --> 00:22:34,053
-(sprinklers spraying)
-(clears throat)
443
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:36,355
I mean, do you
want to know me now?
444
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:40,159
I made a life.
445
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:43,029
I'm happy.
446
00:22:43,062 --> 00:22:45,064
I think no, Gretchen.
447
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:48,935
Not really.
448
00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:02,214
Hey!
449
00:23:02,248 --> 00:23:04,917
You owe me half the profits
of the roller rink!
450
00:23:04,951 --> 00:23:06,786
That was our dream!
451
00:23:06,819 --> 00:23:08,555
And just so you know,
452
00:23:08,588 --> 00:23:11,090
I was never serious
about moving back here!
453
00:23:11,123 --> 00:23:12,559
Piece of shit town!
454
00:23:12,592 --> 00:23:15,227
You are on your own here, Heidi!
455
00:23:15,261 --> 00:23:17,430
You are on your own!
456
00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:21,000
*
457
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,577
* So much of what
I pushed out once *
458
00:23:30,610 --> 00:23:32,612
(indistinct announcement
over P.A.)
459
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,451
* Has returned after
460
00:23:38,485 --> 00:23:41,020
* All these months
461
00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:49,295
* To go where you have been
462
00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:57,269
* To be where you are again
463
00:23:59,338 --> 00:24:01,340
* Come be close
464
00:24:01,373 --> 00:24:02,775
(chuckles softly)
465
00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:05,111
* And be rested
466
00:24:08,548 --> 00:24:11,450
* Darlin', come be close
467
00:24:11,484 --> 00:24:13,486
* And be rested
468
00:24:22,228 --> 00:24:26,165
* Lines from a stray age
469
00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:33,172
* News comes 'round
from another day's *
470
00:24:33,205 --> 00:24:35,207
* Page
471
00:24:39,546 --> 00:24:43,516
* To go where you have been
472
00:24:47,053 --> 00:24:51,691
* To be where you are again
473
00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:55,895
* Come be close
474
00:24:55,928 --> 00:24:59,198
* And be rested.
475
00:24:59,231 --> 00:25:02,234
(dog barks)
476
00:25:05,104 --> 00:25:07,206
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
477
00:25:10,042 --> 00:25:11,578
Hey, fellas.
478
00:25:11,611 --> 00:25:14,213
I'm on antidepressants,
so I won't even cry after.
479
00:25:14,246 --> 00:25:17,049
-Are you a fan of poetry?
-Which one first?
480
00:25:17,083 --> 00:25:20,787
We shall not go gentle
into this good night.
481
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,122
If you know what I mean.
482
00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:29,862
(voice echoing,
distorted)
(steady stomping)
483
00:25:36,235 --> 00:25:37,937
ANNOUNCER:
American Horror Story: Cult.
484
00:25:37,970 --> 00:25:40,072
All new,
Tuesdays at 10:00 on FX.
485
00:25:41,974 --> 00:25:44,243
Duke, pick something,
baby. Come on.
486
00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:47,513
How are you?
487
00:25:47,546 --> 00:25:49,582
(register beeping)
488
00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:54,954
(low, distorted voice)
Duke, I am your mother.
489
00:25:54,987 --> 00:25:57,690
(cackles)
490
00:25:57,724 --> 00:25:59,491
(beeping)
Duke.
491
00:26:00,927 --> 00:26:02,762
Duke.
492
00:26:02,795 --> 00:26:03,963
Come on.
493
00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:08,067
(distorted voice)
Hello.
494
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:11,070
ANNOUNCER: Better Things.
All new Thursdays at 10:00
on FX.
32870
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