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1
00:00:01,150 --> 00:00:04,314
Adult Timmy: The 1970s werean awesome time to be a kid.
2
00:00:04,314 --> 00:00:06,481
It was the Wild West.
3
00:00:06,481 --> 00:00:08,481
Bike helmets hadn't beeninvented yet or car seatbelts
4
00:00:08,481 --> 00:00:11,148
or evennormal adult supervision.
5
00:00:11,148 --> 00:00:13,398
Dads weren't aroundas much as they are now.
6
00:00:13,398 --> 00:00:15,523
And my mom was busyrunning the house.
7
00:00:15,523 --> 00:00:18,606
She had a lot on her plateand no time for tomfoolery --
8
00:00:18,606 --> 00:00:19,773
whatever that is.
9
00:00:19,773 --> 00:00:21,273
There were eight of us boys,
10
00:00:21,273 --> 00:00:23,898
including my oldest brother,just home from college.
11
00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:26,523
That's a lot of testosteroneunder one roof.
12
00:00:26,523 --> 00:00:27,898
[ Clank, projector clicking ]
13
00:00:29,981 --> 00:00:32,356
Allow me, m'lady.
14
00:00:32,356 --> 00:00:33,689
Don't forget your lunch.
I made you a sandwich
15
00:00:33,689 --> 00:00:34,981
from the left-over meatloaf.
16
00:00:34,981 --> 00:00:37,481
Oh, I like that, Peg.
17
00:00:37,481 --> 00:00:40,106
Your loaf
only gets better with time.
18
00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:41,231
Ew.
19
00:00:41,231 --> 00:00:42,814
Buck-89
from the Sears toy department
20
00:00:42,814 --> 00:00:44,439
literally down the drain.
21
00:00:44,439 --> 00:00:45,939
Hey, Pat,
I found your Army doll!
22
00:00:45,939 --> 00:00:47,439
Pat: I'm busy!
23
00:00:47,439 --> 00:00:50,648
Oh, well, thank God
your father and I aren't.
24
00:00:50,648 --> 00:00:53,814
♪♪
25
00:00:53,814 --> 00:00:55,439
Yeah!
26
00:00:55,439 --> 00:00:57,106
Hey, be careful.
27
00:00:57,106 --> 00:00:59,231
One of those belts might knock
a picture off the wall.
28
00:00:59,231 --> 00:01:00,398
Alright,
you got this.
29
00:01:00,398 --> 00:01:01,523
I'll be home the usual.
30
00:01:01,523 --> 00:01:02,606
Honestly.
31
00:01:02,606 --> 00:01:04,398
Geez.
32
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,856
♪♪
33
00:01:05,856 --> 00:01:07,231
{\an8}Hey, Mrs. Cleary.
34
00:01:07,231 --> 00:01:08,549
{\an8}Oh, hi, Wendi.
35
00:01:08,549 --> 00:01:10,439
{\an8}Thanks for letting me
borrow this.
36
00:01:10,439 --> 00:01:12,689
{\an8}Of course.
When do I wear a scarf?
37
00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:14,773
{\an8}I'm not driving a convertible
around Monaco.
38
00:01:14,773 --> 00:01:16,856
{\an8}I guess it's hard for you
to get out and have fun.
39
00:01:16,856 --> 00:01:17,898
{\an8}Oh, I don't know.
Just yesterday
40
00:01:17,898 --> 00:01:19,731
I went to Bunny Delmonte's
funeral.
41
00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:21,016
Oh, I'm sorry.
42
00:01:21,016 --> 00:01:22,648
{\an8}Don't be.
They had those Jewish donuts
43
00:01:22,648 --> 00:01:24,814
{\an8}you spread cheese on.
44
00:01:24,814 --> 00:01:27,106
{\an8}Do you ever just go get coffee
with a friend?
45
00:01:27,106 --> 00:01:28,773
{\an8}Coffee makes me jittery.
46
00:01:28,773 --> 00:01:30,398
{\an8}And so do friends.
47
00:01:30,398 --> 00:01:31,481
{\an8}Eddie's in his room.
48
00:01:31,481 --> 00:01:32,981
{\an8}But be warned.
49
00:01:32,981 --> 00:01:34,189
It smells like seat-noises
in there.
50
00:01:37,023 --> 00:01:40,231
{\an8}Mommy, I think "seat-noises"
is just our family's word.
51
00:01:40,231 --> 00:01:43,314
{\an8}Five seconds in Eddie's room
and she'll be up to speed.
52
00:01:47,356 --> 00:01:49,648
{\an8}Close the door.
Where's my mom?
53
00:01:49,648 --> 00:01:50,773
In the backyard,
don't worry.
54
00:01:50,773 --> 00:01:52,356
Close the door anyway.
55
00:01:52,356 --> 00:01:54,106
{\an8}My mom had a sixth sensewhen it came to us
56
00:01:54,106 --> 00:01:55,773
{\an8}trying to get awaywith anything.
57
00:01:55,773 --> 00:01:59,189
{\an8}The distant clickof a closing bedroom door
58
00:01:59,189 --> 00:02:01,231
{\an8}was like an air-raid sirento her.
59
00:02:01,231 --> 00:02:04,689
{\an8}♪♪
60
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:06,898
Lookie here.
61
00:02:06,898 --> 00:02:08,856
{\an8}Wow. Champagne.
62
00:02:08,856 --> 00:02:10,564
{\an8}And it's red.
63
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:13,398
{\an8}This is Cold Duck.
64
00:02:13,398 --> 00:02:15,939
{\an8}It's from a vineyard
in De-twah.
65
00:02:15,939 --> 00:02:17,231
{\an8}I think that's pronounced
"Detroit."
66
00:02:17,231 --> 00:02:18,398
Oh, same as ours.
67
00:02:18,398 --> 00:02:20,189
My buddy, Dino, swiped this
from his folks.
68
00:02:20,189 --> 00:02:22,189
{\an8}This will be fun when we see
the meteor shower tonight.
69
00:02:22,189 --> 00:02:24,064
{\an8}It will definitely enhance
the Perseids Maximus,
70
00:02:24,064 --> 00:02:25,523
{\an8}which is very active
this year.
71
00:02:25,523 --> 00:02:26,939
{\an8}"Perseids Maximus"?
72
00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:28,398
{\an8}I researched that
at the library
73
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,481
{\an8}so you wouldn't think I was just
taking you there to make out.
74
00:02:30,481 --> 00:02:32,856
{\an8}Mm, which you are.
You better stow that, though.
75
00:02:32,856 --> 00:02:34,856
{\an8}Your mom has a way of popping in
unexpectedly.
76
00:02:34,856 --> 00:02:37,231
{\an8}If we like this,
I can get other stuff from Dino.
77
00:02:37,231 --> 00:02:39,939
{\an8}He's a good guy
and he doesn't mind stealing.
78
00:02:39,939 --> 00:02:42,231
[ Glass shatters ]
79
00:02:42,231 --> 00:02:43,439
Holy hell!
80
00:02:43,439 --> 00:02:44,773
I'm dead!
81
00:02:46,356 --> 00:02:48,648
{\an8}If my mom finds out,
I'm dead!
82
00:02:48,648 --> 00:02:50,148
{\an8}Then we can't let her
find out.
83
00:02:50,148 --> 00:02:51,523
{\an8}Sure,Mom could have burst in
84
00:02:51,523 --> 00:02:53,023
and brought down the hammerright there,
85
00:02:53,023 --> 00:02:55,189
but my mother sawthe opportunity to figure out
86
00:02:55,189 --> 00:02:56,814
{\an8}if Wendi was worthyof Eddie --
87
00:02:56,814 --> 00:03:00,189
{\an8}and, more importantly,worthy of her.
88
00:03:00,189 --> 00:03:02,398
{\an8}I have $9
and a Pee Wee Reese rookie card
89
00:03:02,398 --> 00:03:04,023
{\an8}in my top sock drawer.
90
00:03:04,023 --> 00:03:05,814
Take them and go.
You can start a new life.
91
00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:14,023
♪♪
92
00:03:14,023 --> 00:03:15,939
We -- We can clean this.
This isn't so bad.
93
00:03:15,939 --> 00:03:17,606
It is bad.
My parents hate liquor.
94
00:03:17,606 --> 00:03:18,814
They won't even have it
in the house.
95
00:03:18,814 --> 00:03:20,189
This was true.
96
00:03:20,189 --> 00:03:21,273
If a recipe calledfor alcohol,
97
00:03:21,273 --> 00:03:23,314
my mom would substitutesomething else.
98
00:03:23,314 --> 00:03:25,148
Her Cream of MushroomRum Cake
99
00:03:25,148 --> 00:03:26,648
was not a hitat bake sales.
100
00:03:26,648 --> 00:03:28,398
Maybe I can distract your mom
for a little while.
101
00:03:28,398 --> 00:03:29,523
It won't work.
102
00:03:29,523 --> 00:03:30,939
I have to clean the sheets,
the floor!
103
00:03:30,939 --> 00:03:32,314
I just have to get her
out of the house
104
00:03:32,314 --> 00:03:34,189
for a few hours.
She doesn't leave this house.
105
00:03:34,189 --> 00:03:35,648
She goes to church
and that's it.
106
00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:36,648
What does she do for fun?
107
00:03:36,648 --> 00:03:38,481
Nothing.
She's the enemy of fun.
108
00:03:38,481 --> 00:03:39,731
Your mom trusts me.
109
00:03:39,731 --> 00:03:40,939
I'll convince her.
110
00:03:40,939 --> 00:03:43,148
I can't have her hating me
over this.
111
00:03:43,148 --> 00:03:45,648
She won't hate you.
She'll just judge you forever.
112
00:03:45,648 --> 00:03:48,773
Oh, wait,
that's what she does for fun.
113
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,148
Mom?!
114
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:53,481
Wasting electricity
in the daytime?
115
00:03:53,481 --> 00:03:54,731
Use the free light.
116
00:03:54,731 --> 00:03:58,273
[ Vacuum whirs ]
117
00:03:58,273 --> 00:03:59,314
Hey, Mrs. Cleary.
118
00:03:59,314 --> 00:04:01,689
Oh.
119
00:04:01,689 --> 00:04:03,356
You and Eddie
headed out?
120
00:04:03,356 --> 00:04:05,648
We were,
but then I started thinking...
121
00:04:05,648 --> 00:04:07,356
you should go out.
122
00:04:07,356 --> 00:04:09,564
What a strange suggestion.
123
00:04:09,564 --> 00:04:11,398
Why on earth would you want me
to leave the house?
124
00:04:12,523 --> 00:04:14,481
Oh, wait, I know!
125
00:04:14,481 --> 00:04:17,023
You're worried about me
having enough fun.
126
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,773
You were saying
that you don't get out much.
127
00:04:18,773 --> 00:04:20,314
Well, I guess I wouldn't mind
having my hair done
128
00:04:20,314 --> 00:04:21,356
at Helen's Salon.
129
00:04:21,356 --> 00:04:22,481
But I could never...
130
00:04:22,481 --> 00:04:23,814
Of course you could!
131
00:04:23,814 --> 00:04:25,106
No,
every time I turn around,
132
00:04:25,106 --> 00:04:27,356
there's some new mess
being created.
133
00:04:27,356 --> 00:04:29,981
Who knows what else I'd find
if I started poking around.
134
00:04:31,189 --> 00:04:33,606
There's a house
full of healthy boys here
135
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,814
to take care of all that.
Eddie!
136
00:04:35,814 --> 00:04:37,439
These useless lumps
are no help.
137
00:04:37,439 --> 00:04:39,314
She's not wrong.
We're lumps.
138
00:04:39,314 --> 00:04:41,064
They're just pretending
to be useless
139
00:04:41,064 --> 00:04:42,481
so you don't make them
do chores.
140
00:04:42,481 --> 00:04:43,439
Did you tell her?
141
00:04:43,439 --> 00:04:45,606
No, but you just did.
142
00:04:45,606 --> 00:04:46,981
Sorry, Mrs. Cleary.
143
00:04:46,981 --> 00:04:48,898
I'm not taking no
for an answer.
144
00:04:48,898 --> 00:04:50,023
Heeey!
145
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,564
You changed your shirt.
146
00:04:51,564 --> 00:04:56,356
Funny, I just had
the craziest sneeze.
147
00:04:56,356 --> 00:04:58,106
Your mother's going to go out
and get her hair done.
148
00:04:58,106 --> 00:04:59,023
Oh, good idea!
149
00:04:59,023 --> 00:05:01,106
And I said
while she's out,
150
00:05:01,106 --> 00:05:02,439
we'll take care
of her housework.
151
00:05:02,439 --> 00:05:05,023
We're doing something nice
for Mom? I'm in.
152
00:05:05,023 --> 00:05:07,273
You see,
they're dying to help --
153
00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:10,064
watch the baby, do the laundry,
mop the kitchen.
154
00:05:10,064 --> 00:05:11,148
It's the least
they can do.
155
00:05:11,148 --> 00:05:12,606
I can picture less.
156
00:05:12,606 --> 00:05:15,606
You're all being
so sweet.
157
00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:17,523
Oh. What the heck.
158
00:05:17,523 --> 00:05:19,481
Okay. I'll go.
159
00:05:19,481 --> 00:05:21,773
But I promise,
I'll be right back.
160
00:05:21,773 --> 00:05:23,064
Take your time.
161
00:05:23,064 --> 00:05:24,148
Do extra stuff.
162
00:05:24,148 --> 00:05:26,481
Get your fingernails washed
or whatever.
163
00:05:26,481 --> 00:05:27,898
Fingernail washing?
164
00:05:27,898 --> 00:05:30,231
That's no fun alone.
165
00:05:30,231 --> 00:05:32,814
Oh, wait.
Here's a thought --
166
00:05:32,814 --> 00:05:34,314
Wendi, why don't you come
with me?
167
00:05:34,314 --> 00:05:37,981
Um...I-I suppose
that could work.
168
00:05:37,981 --> 00:05:40,064
It'll be my treat!
We'll gossip,
169
00:05:40,064 --> 00:05:41,231
tell each other
all our secrets.
170
00:05:41,231 --> 00:05:42,606
Uh...
171
00:05:42,606 --> 00:05:44,064
I'm kidding!
172
00:05:44,064 --> 00:05:46,231
You don't have any secrets
from me.
173
00:05:46,231 --> 00:05:48,398
♪♪
174
00:05:48,398 --> 00:05:49,856
[ Door closes ]
175
00:05:49,856 --> 00:05:51,481
Eddie: If you guys really want
to help me clean the house,
176
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:53,648
the best way to do that
is to stay out of my way.
177
00:05:53,648 --> 00:05:55,564
I'll let you back in
for dinner.
178
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,981
[ Door slams ]
179
00:05:57,981 --> 00:05:59,981
If you need me,
I'll be under that tree.
180
00:05:59,981 --> 00:06:02,356
Or more correctly,
I'll be visiting
181
00:06:02,356 --> 00:06:04,939
the seventh moon of Vallys
with my good friend Quaytar.
182
00:06:04,939 --> 00:06:06,564
Alone under the tree,
got it.
183
00:06:06,564 --> 00:06:08,273
What about you, Pat?
184
00:06:08,273 --> 00:06:09,689
Want to meet my secret dog?
185
00:06:09,689 --> 00:06:11,023
The one
with the blood-red eyes
186
00:06:11,023 --> 00:06:12,481
who stares through
your bedroom window at night?
187
00:06:12,481 --> 00:06:14,148
No, that's Kevin.
188
00:06:14,148 --> 00:06:15,523
This one's real.
189
00:06:15,523 --> 00:06:16,731
I keep him a couple blocks
from here.
190
00:06:16,731 --> 00:06:18,106
C'mon.
191
00:06:20,773 --> 00:06:23,564
Our main job today
is keeping that alive.
192
00:06:23,564 --> 00:06:24,689
Don't die.
193
00:06:24,689 --> 00:06:26,398
Joey,
go to the garage.
194
00:06:26,398 --> 00:06:28,356
You're gonna grab a bucket
and mop, come back,
195
00:06:28,356 --> 00:06:30,523
and your job will be scrubbing
the kitchen floors.
196
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:31,523
On it!
197
00:06:31,523 --> 00:06:33,648
Frank, you do laundry.
198
00:06:33,648 --> 00:06:35,398
As long as you tell Mom
it was me.
199
00:06:35,398 --> 00:06:37,689
Unlike Mother's Day,
when I bought her a card
200
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,856
and everybody put their names
on it.
201
00:06:39,856 --> 00:06:41,398
Don't be a drip,
Frank.
202
00:06:41,398 --> 00:06:43,356
Even Joey is helping.
203
00:06:43,356 --> 00:06:46,023
Start with the wet towels
in the bathroom.
204
00:06:46,023 --> 00:06:47,106
[ Door opens ]
205
00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:48,148
Hey, what's goin' on?
206
00:06:48,148 --> 00:06:49,023
Glad you're here.
207
00:06:49,023 --> 00:06:50,314
There's kind of a crisis.
208
00:06:50,314 --> 00:06:51,773
Oh, yeah,
Dad forgot his lunch.
209
00:06:51,773 --> 00:06:54,939
What?! No! If Dad comes home
hungry, I'm dead!
210
00:06:54,939 --> 00:06:56,314
Sure, the guy can be
a little grumpy,
211
00:06:56,314 --> 00:06:57,731
but just steer clear
'til he's eaten.
212
00:06:57,731 --> 00:07:00,023
Frank: What in tarnation
happened here?!
213
00:07:00,023 --> 00:07:02,648
♪♪
214
00:07:02,648 --> 00:07:03,814
[ Sniffs ]
215
00:07:06,481 --> 00:07:08,814
Now I see the real reason
you sent Mom to the hairdresser.
216
00:07:08,814 --> 00:07:10,148
You don't really care
about helping her
217
00:07:10,148 --> 00:07:12,023
be as beautiful
as she can be.
218
00:07:12,023 --> 00:07:13,398
[ Sighs ]
This will all be taken care of.
219
00:07:13,398 --> 00:07:16,689
Oh, it will, once I call Mom
and Mom calls the police
220
00:07:16,689 --> 00:07:18,231
and the police thank Mom
and Mom thanks me.
221
00:07:18,231 --> 00:07:20,564
And I say,
"Ho, ho, it's fine, Mom,
222
00:07:20,564 --> 00:07:22,023
we can share the credit."
223
00:07:22,023 --> 00:07:23,106
[ Chuckles ]
224
00:07:23,106 --> 00:07:24,898
Stop!
225
00:07:26,856 --> 00:07:29,023
Give me that!
Ugh!
226
00:07:29,023 --> 00:07:31,023
You just added assault
to your crimes, mister!
227
00:07:31,023 --> 00:07:32,189
[ Growls ]
228
00:07:32,189 --> 00:07:33,856
[ Grunting ]
229
00:07:33,856 --> 00:07:35,481
Break it up!
230
00:07:35,481 --> 00:07:39,606
♪♪
231
00:07:39,606 --> 00:07:41,231
[ Yelling ]
232
00:07:41,231 --> 00:07:42,523
Frank: You'll be grounded
for --
233
00:07:42,523 --> 00:07:44,981
So where's this dog
of yours?
234
00:07:44,981 --> 00:07:47,606
He's trapped.
We have to rescue him.
235
00:07:52,314 --> 00:07:55,689
He belongs to the people
living at this house.
236
00:07:55,689 --> 00:07:57,856
Now you sound like the people
that live here.
237
00:07:57,856 --> 00:07:58,898
He wants to play
with me.
238
00:07:58,898 --> 00:08:00,148
Watch!
No.
239
00:08:00,148 --> 00:08:01,231
No, no, no, no!
[ Dog barks ]
240
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,898
No, no!
No, no, no, no!
241
00:08:02,898 --> 00:08:04,773
He must know a better way
to our house!
242
00:08:04,773 --> 00:08:06,273
Tessie!
243
00:08:06,273 --> 00:08:09,523
What's happening doesn't match
what you're saying!
244
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,106
♪♪
245
00:08:11,106 --> 00:08:13,356
Keep going straight.
246
00:08:13,356 --> 00:08:15,439
I thought Helen's
was near your house?
247
00:08:15,439 --> 00:08:17,356
Wendi,
don't ask a million questions --
248
00:08:17,356 --> 00:08:19,356
just go with the flow.
249
00:08:19,356 --> 00:08:20,939
You wanted me to have fun,
right?
250
00:08:22,606 --> 00:08:24,564
Or maybe we should
just go home...
251
00:08:24,564 --> 00:08:28,564
No, a-absolutely,
we'll go wherever you want.
252
00:08:28,564 --> 00:08:29,898
My mom was big on loyalty,
253
00:08:29,898 --> 00:08:31,606
and planned to put Wendito the test
254
00:08:31,606 --> 00:08:33,981
before letting this upstartcrack our family circle.
255
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,314
Mom didn't havea license
256
00:08:35,314 --> 00:08:36,981
but was completelyin the driver's seat.
257
00:08:36,981 --> 00:08:39,023
Get on the Five Freeway.
258
00:08:39,023 --> 00:08:42,398
♪♪
259
00:08:42,398 --> 00:08:44,398
[ Sighs ]
260
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:46,231
I couldn't reach Dad.
261
00:08:46,231 --> 00:08:47,689
Maybe he'll buy
his lunch today.
262
00:08:47,689 --> 00:08:51,356
When did a ham sandwich
go up to 75 cents?
263
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:54,231
That's ridiculous.
264
00:08:54,231 --> 00:08:55,314
Lou.
265
00:08:55,314 --> 00:08:57,398
Lou: Yeah?
I'm running home.
266
00:08:57,398 --> 00:08:59,064
Are you new here?
267
00:08:59,064 --> 00:09:00,398
Dad's not gonna want to pay
for lunch
268
00:09:00,398 --> 00:09:02,856
when he has a free sandwich
waiting at home.
269
00:09:02,856 --> 00:09:04,648
He still talks about
what a deal World War II was
270
00:09:04,648 --> 00:09:06,606
because the Army paid
for his meals.
271
00:09:06,606 --> 00:09:10,106
I am gonna tell him and Mom
everything!
272
00:09:10,106 --> 00:09:12,564
You guys are gonna be
in so much trouble.
273
00:09:12,564 --> 00:09:14,481
William, untie me!
274
00:09:14,481 --> 00:09:15,814
Or I'll smack you.
275
00:09:15,814 --> 00:09:18,689
Well,
you are bigger than me,
276
00:09:18,689 --> 00:09:20,356
but Eddie's
bigger than you,
277
00:09:20,356 --> 00:09:23,523
so according to the transitive
property of smacking --
278
00:09:23,523 --> 00:09:25,231
sorry,
outta luck.
279
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,939
♪♪
280
00:09:27,939 --> 00:09:29,314
If Dad got off for lunch
five minutes ago,
281
00:09:29,314 --> 00:09:30,439
he's gonna be here
any minute.
282
00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:32,564
Oh. What if he doesn't
have to come inside?
283
00:09:32,564 --> 00:09:34,773
His car pulls up, I just run out
and give him his sandwich!
284
00:09:34,773 --> 00:09:36,398
Problem solved.
285
00:09:36,398 --> 00:09:46,356
♪♪
286
00:09:46,356 --> 00:09:47,981
What?
287
00:09:47,981 --> 00:09:51,023
[ Indistinct conversations ]
288
00:09:51,023 --> 00:09:52,856
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
289
00:09:52,856 --> 00:09:54,273
This is nice.
290
00:09:54,273 --> 00:09:56,064
Oh, wow, Mrs. Cleary.
291
00:09:56,064 --> 00:09:59,439
This place
is very chichi. What?
292
00:09:59,439 --> 00:10:01,523
You're saying these rich people
are better than us?
293
00:10:01,523 --> 00:10:03,231
Trick question --
of course they are.
294
00:10:03,231 --> 00:10:04,564
But they don't know that.
295
00:10:04,564 --> 00:10:06,773
Whatever I do,
play along.
296
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,148
I don't think
we should --
297
00:10:08,148 --> 00:10:09,731
Hi. We're here
for haircuts.
298
00:10:09,731 --> 00:10:12,314
We're "appointment only."
And we're solidly booked.
299
00:10:12,314 --> 00:10:14,731
Excuse me.
300
00:10:14,731 --> 00:10:16,023
It's for the best.
301
00:10:16,023 --> 00:10:17,481
I wouldn't know
what to ask for here anyway.
302
00:10:17,481 --> 00:10:18,648
Don't be silly.
303
00:10:18,648 --> 00:10:20,648
We didn't do freeway-driving
to give up now.
304
00:10:20,648 --> 00:10:22,356
Do you have my back?
305
00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:25,981
Okay...
306
00:10:25,981 --> 00:10:28,689
Um, I believe we're down
for 2:00,
307
00:10:28,689 --> 00:10:29,814
but we're very early.
308
00:10:29,814 --> 00:10:32,106
I'm Simone
and this is Bianca.
309
00:10:32,106 --> 00:10:34,689
[ Sighs ] I think
we can accommodate you now.
310
00:10:34,689 --> 00:10:37,856
Does that work for you,
Bianca?
311
00:10:37,856 --> 00:10:39,356
Ciao?
312
00:10:39,356 --> 00:10:41,648
[ Chuckles ]
313
00:10:45,814 --> 00:10:47,606
You have any children,
Simone?
314
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:50,148
Mm. As a matter of fact, I have
eight adorable Pekingeses.
315
00:10:50,148 --> 00:10:51,148
Oh.
316
00:10:51,148 --> 00:10:53,023
I think about 'em
like my children.
317
00:10:53,023 --> 00:10:54,523
Actually,
I sell their children.
318
00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:55,731
I'm a breeder.
319
00:10:55,731 --> 00:10:56,814
I will have to give you
my number.
320
00:10:56,814 --> 00:10:58,648
I love Chinese dogs!
No.
321
00:10:58,648 --> 00:11:00,773
Eight?
That seems like too many.
322
00:11:00,773 --> 00:11:02,356
Oh, I think that every day,
Valentín.
323
00:11:02,356 --> 00:11:03,898
[ Laughs ]
324
00:11:03,898 --> 00:11:06,314
Bianca has
an interesting hobby --
325
00:11:06,314 --> 00:11:07,939
falconry.
326
00:11:07,939 --> 00:11:10,314
Tell 'em
all about Hercules.
327
00:11:10,314 --> 00:11:12,773
I have a falcon.
328
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:17,273
And his name is Hercules.
329
00:11:17,273 --> 00:11:18,356
[ Laughter ]
330
00:11:18,356 --> 00:11:20,898
You two are
the living end.
331
00:11:20,898 --> 00:11:22,356
[ Laughter ]
Don't go anywhere.
332
00:11:22,356 --> 00:11:24,064
Valentín, right back.
333
00:11:24,064 --> 00:11:25,939
Uh, those are
the girls upstairs.
334
00:11:25,939 --> 00:11:27,106
What are we doing,
Mrs. Cleary?
335
00:11:27,106 --> 00:11:28,314
We are doing
very little.
336
00:11:28,314 --> 00:11:30,148
I'm doing
all the heavy lifting here.
337
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,273
"I have a falcon.
338
00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:32,731
His name is Hercules."
339
00:11:32,731 --> 00:11:34,523
You're gonna blow this.
"Blow this"?
340
00:11:34,523 --> 00:11:36,939
What are gonna do
when Simone and Bianca get here?
341
00:11:36,939 --> 00:11:38,189
You think we can't take
a Simone and a Bianca?
342
00:11:38,189 --> 00:11:39,981
They probably weigh 12 pounds
between 'em.
343
00:11:39,981 --> 00:11:41,898
Champagne?
Oh, thank you.
344
00:11:41,898 --> 00:11:42,814
[ Chuckles ]
345
00:11:42,814 --> 00:11:44,106
That's nice.
346
00:11:44,106 --> 00:11:45,106
Mm.
347
00:11:45,106 --> 00:11:46,773
Hm?
348
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,731
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna tell your mom.
349
00:11:48,731 --> 00:11:50,148
I thought
you didn't drink.
350
00:11:50,148 --> 00:11:51,689
Mike abstains --
351
00:11:51,689 --> 00:11:54,023
a lot of sad boozers
on his side.
352
00:11:54,023 --> 00:11:56,856
But I've been known to sneak
a sip every now and again.
353
00:11:56,856 --> 00:11:59,398
You know how that is.
354
00:11:59,398 --> 00:12:00,356
Don't you?
355
00:12:03,939 --> 00:12:06,064
You snooze, you lose.
356
00:12:06,064 --> 00:12:07,523
Mm-hmm.
357
00:12:07,523 --> 00:12:08,981
♪♪
358
00:12:08,981 --> 00:12:10,064
Pat, if he likes you
so much,
359
00:12:10,064 --> 00:12:11,273
why is he running away?
360
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:13,773
He's not running,
he's playing!
361
00:12:13,773 --> 00:12:15,523
[ Dog barks ]
No. No! Pat, no, stop!
362
00:12:15,523 --> 00:12:16,731
Don't go in there!
363
00:12:16,731 --> 00:12:17,981
There could be a sewer wolf
in there
364
00:12:17,981 --> 00:12:20,356
or a crazed hobo
with a thirst for blood!
365
00:12:20,356 --> 00:12:22,231
There isn't!
366
00:12:22,231 --> 00:12:26,481
♪♪
367
00:12:26,481 --> 00:12:28,481
Where's Tessie?
368
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:32,814
I don't know. That pipe
was like a mile long.
369
00:12:32,814 --> 00:12:35,856
[ Dog barks ]
370
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:38,481
- Tessie!
- [ Groans ]
371
00:12:38,481 --> 00:12:40,439
C'mon, William,
you're better than these guys.
372
00:12:40,439 --> 00:12:42,689
Just free me.
373
00:12:42,689 --> 00:12:46,898
Better yet,
I'll free your imagination.
374
00:12:46,898 --> 00:12:48,898
Oh, no.
375
00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:51,148
"Quaytar sat on a dune
in the middle
376
00:12:51,148 --> 00:12:52,731
of the Logorian desert
377
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:55,564
reflecting on the struggle
of the Magoryite people.
378
00:12:55,564 --> 00:12:57,189
Was it in his destiny"...
I hate you so much.
379
00:12:57,189 --> 00:12:59,523
You're telling me this is
the last of the meatloaf?
380
00:12:59,523 --> 00:13:01,023
Why'd you have to take
such a big bite?
381
00:13:01,023 --> 00:13:02,481
'Cause it's the last
of the meatloaf.
382
00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:04,564
Spread it out so it reaches
the edge of the bread.
383
00:13:04,564 --> 00:13:06,481
There you go,
a meatloaf comb-over.
384
00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:07,898
There's not enough of it!
385
00:13:07,898 --> 00:13:09,356
Well, her meatloaf's
mostly bread crumbs anyway.
386
00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:11,481
We could fill it up with
crackers and -- and ketchup.
387
00:13:11,481 --> 00:13:14,273
Joey, watch for Dad
so we know when he gets here.
388
00:13:14,273 --> 00:13:15,689
He's here.
389
00:13:15,689 --> 00:13:17,064
There, I helped.
390
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:17,939
No!
391
00:13:17,939 --> 00:13:18,898
Go outside and stall.
392
00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:20,356
I need another minute.
393
00:13:20,356 --> 00:13:23,356
♪♪
394
00:13:23,356 --> 00:13:24,773
Hey, Pop.
¿Qué pasa?
395
00:13:24,773 --> 00:13:26,106
I forgot
my damn lunch.
396
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:26,981
And speak English.
397
00:13:26,981 --> 00:13:28,189
Hold on.
398
00:13:28,189 --> 00:13:29,939
I'm gonna be straight with you,
okay?
399
00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:31,439
I was sent out here
to stall you
400
00:13:31,439 --> 00:13:33,023
so you don't see
some dicey stuff
401
00:13:33,023 --> 00:13:34,648
that's going on inside
right now.
402
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:37,523
The good news is
you're gonna get your sandwich.
403
00:13:37,523 --> 00:13:39,481
Where's your mother?
Exactly the type of question
404
00:13:39,481 --> 00:13:40,731
that'll just get you
drawn in deeper.
405
00:13:40,731 --> 00:13:42,148
Look.
406
00:13:42,148 --> 00:13:44,106
I know you're a man
with a lot on his plate.
407
00:13:44,106 --> 00:13:45,814
You really want
to take this on?
408
00:13:48,731 --> 00:13:50,481
Is anyone hurt
or in danger?
409
00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:53,356
Nothing that can't be cleaned up
before you get home at 6:00.
410
00:13:53,356 --> 00:13:55,564
Oh, hey.
411
00:13:55,564 --> 00:13:57,564
Here's your sandwich, Dad.
412
00:13:57,564 --> 00:14:00,231
If anything has happened
to the TV,
413
00:14:00,231 --> 00:14:01,731
this is a whole
different discussion.
414
00:14:03,856 --> 00:14:07,731
♪♪
415
00:14:07,731 --> 00:14:08,856
Whoa.
416
00:14:08,856 --> 00:14:11,689
Oh, I like it, Ken.
417
00:14:11,689 --> 00:14:13,856
This was definitely worth hiring
those eight dog-sitters.
418
00:14:13,856 --> 00:14:14,981
Oh. [ Laughs ]
419
00:14:14,981 --> 00:14:16,606
What do you think,
Bianca?
420
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:20,773
Wow, I feel like
a whole new person...
421
00:14:20,773 --> 00:14:22,606
named Bianca.
422
00:14:22,606 --> 00:14:24,856
You can take care of business
out front.
423
00:14:24,856 --> 00:14:26,106
And we now accept
Diners Club.
424
00:14:26,106 --> 00:14:27,189
Of course you do.
425
00:14:27,189 --> 00:14:28,523
Lovely to meet you gals.
426
00:14:28,523 --> 00:14:29,731
You two are a gas.
427
00:14:29,731 --> 00:14:31,689
Oh, come on.
You two.
428
00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:35,606
We'll see you soon.
429
00:14:35,606 --> 00:14:36,898
Oh, huh.
430
00:14:36,898 --> 00:14:38,648
Mrs. Cleary,
I can't let you pay for that.
431
00:14:38,648 --> 00:14:41,023
I have no intention
of paying this amount.
432
00:14:41,023 --> 00:14:42,398
Helen never charged
more than $10.
433
00:14:42,398 --> 00:14:44,356
And she'd take a buck off if you
brought your own shampoo.
434
00:14:44,356 --> 00:14:46,689
I'm gonna give 'em $20
for both of us.
435
00:14:46,689 --> 00:14:48,481
And that's more than fair.
436
00:14:48,481 --> 00:14:50,023
I don't think you get to choose
how much it costs.
437
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,273
You do if you're heading out
the back.
438
00:14:52,273 --> 00:14:53,273
You with me?
439
00:14:53,273 --> 00:14:54,898
You can't just --
[ Door opens ]
440
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,273
I can't believe
you did that!
441
00:15:01,273 --> 00:15:03,064
Well, if you feel bad, you can
go give your hairdo back.
442
00:15:08,814 --> 00:15:12,481
"And as the green sun
set over the Vale of Lothar,
443
00:15:12,481 --> 00:15:14,898
Quaytar wondered
if he would ever see
444
00:15:14,898 --> 00:15:16,814
his beloved Persefony
again."
445
00:15:16,814 --> 00:15:17,981
Alright.
You've suffered enough.
446
00:15:17,981 --> 00:15:19,064
You can come inside now.
447
00:15:19,064 --> 00:15:20,148
About dang time.
448
00:15:20,148 --> 00:15:21,523
I wasn't talking to you.
William.
449
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:25,481
No! Wait.
Don't leave me out here.
450
00:15:25,481 --> 00:15:27,439
I don't even know what's
gonna happen to Quaytar.
451
00:15:27,439 --> 00:15:28,939
A-At least tell me
how the story ends!
452
00:15:31,106 --> 00:15:32,606
Do you promise
to keep your mouth shut
453
00:15:32,606 --> 00:15:33,773
when Mom comes home?
454
00:15:36,064 --> 00:15:38,231
Okay, untie him
and read him the book.
455
00:15:38,231 --> 00:15:41,439
That was terrifying,
Mrs. Cleary.
456
00:15:41,439 --> 00:15:43,939
You scare me.
457
00:15:43,939 --> 00:15:45,398
You know what scares me,
hon?
458
00:15:45,398 --> 00:15:47,106
New people.
459
00:15:47,106 --> 00:15:49,398
Coming to my house,
sniffing around my family.
460
00:15:49,398 --> 00:15:51,981
It's not easy
for me to trust.
461
00:15:51,981 --> 00:15:54,231
But you proved yourself to me
today --
462
00:15:54,231 --> 00:15:56,606
backing me up the way you did
and stealing a hairdo.
463
00:15:56,606 --> 00:15:58,314
So this was all a...?
464
00:15:58,314 --> 00:16:00,023
A test.
465
00:16:00,023 --> 00:16:02,731
And you passed, Bianca.
466
00:16:02,731 --> 00:16:04,356
Your loyalty today
almost makes up
467
00:16:04,356 --> 00:16:06,523
for the bald-faced lying you did
back at the house.
468
00:16:06,523 --> 00:16:10,231
Suddenly all worried
that I need a day off?
469
00:16:10,231 --> 00:16:11,981
Well, sure,
you work so hard and --
470
00:16:11,981 --> 00:16:14,231
Stop. The last person
to pull one over on me
471
00:16:14,231 --> 00:16:15,981
was Bunny Delmonte.
472
00:16:15,981 --> 00:16:17,189
Never trusted that woman.
473
00:16:17,189 --> 00:16:18,106
But you went
to her funeral.
474
00:16:18,106 --> 00:16:20,981
Just to make sure
she was dead.
475
00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:22,856
So, are you ready to tell me
the truth
476
00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:24,356
about what happened
in Eddie's room?
477
00:16:24,356 --> 00:16:25,981
Yes, um...
478
00:16:25,981 --> 00:16:27,898
I'm sorry.
479
00:16:27,898 --> 00:16:30,356
There was this bottle
of Detroit Champagne
480
00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:31,939
that we were gonna drink
at the meteor shower tonight
481
00:16:31,939 --> 00:16:33,481
and...
482
00:16:33,481 --> 00:16:35,356
it broke.
483
00:16:35,356 --> 00:16:37,314
I broke it.
484
00:16:37,314 --> 00:16:38,606
You broke it?
485
00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:41,939
It was all my idea,
my bottle of wine.
486
00:16:41,939 --> 00:16:43,398
And Eddie didn't know
about it?
487
00:16:43,398 --> 00:16:44,981
No, ma'am.
488
00:16:44,981 --> 00:16:47,106
Well, I know for a fact
that's a lie...
489
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:48,148
Mrs. Cleary --
490
00:16:48,148 --> 00:16:50,481
But it's the right lie.
491
00:16:50,481 --> 00:16:52,773
As much as I appreciate
your loyalty to me,
492
00:16:52,773 --> 00:16:56,856
you protecting Eddie
is something I appreciate more.
493
00:16:56,856 --> 00:16:59,898
He's not
my most devious offspring.
494
00:16:59,898 --> 00:17:02,898
He's gonna need people
who have his back.
495
00:17:02,898 --> 00:17:04,398
With the right friends,
I could see him
496
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:06,898
adding value to society
one day.
497
00:17:06,898 --> 00:17:09,564
You know, as a milkman
or something.
498
00:17:09,564 --> 00:17:10,898
He can do
more than that.
499
00:17:10,898 --> 00:17:11,981
Calm down, honey.
You got the job.
500
00:17:11,981 --> 00:17:18,023
♪♪
501
00:17:18,023 --> 00:17:20,023
I really admire how devoted
you are to your children,
502
00:17:20,023 --> 00:17:20,939
Mrs. Cleary.
503
00:17:20,939 --> 00:17:22,939
That I am.
504
00:17:22,939 --> 00:17:27,814
♪♪
505
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,564
But I'm not fanatical
about it.
506
00:17:29,564 --> 00:17:30,523
Keep driving.
507
00:17:33,148 --> 00:17:36,148
I think this is where our
journey with Tessie ends, Pat.
508
00:17:36,148 --> 00:17:38,106
It's okay to be sad,
boy.
509
00:17:38,106 --> 00:17:40,898
This isn't "goodbye,"
it's just --
510
00:17:40,898 --> 00:17:43,231
Okay, bye!
511
00:17:43,231 --> 00:17:44,481
[ Dog barks ]
512
00:17:48,523 --> 00:17:50,773
He'll turn up, sweetie,
I swear.
513
00:17:50,773 --> 00:17:52,148
[ Crying ]
514
00:17:52,148 --> 00:17:54,856
Do you understand
why she's crying?
515
00:17:54,856 --> 00:17:58,814
I'd feel the same way
if I ever lost Tessie.
516
00:18:00,564 --> 00:18:02,023
Peggy: I'm home!
517
00:18:06,231 --> 00:18:07,898
[ Gasps ]
518
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,314
Eddie.
Mom.
519
00:18:11,314 --> 00:18:13,106
House looks great.
Thanks.
520
00:18:13,106 --> 00:18:15,106
I didn't get a chance
to start on my room,
521
00:18:15,106 --> 00:18:17,273
so it looks exactly how it did
when you left.
522
00:18:17,273 --> 00:18:19,606
I gotta say, Mom,
doing all your stuff for one day
523
00:18:19,606 --> 00:18:20,939
gave me
a whole new appreciation.
524
00:18:22,606 --> 00:18:24,314
I finally get
why you're so mean.
525
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:30,231
What's that little pink speck
there on the crucifix?
526
00:18:30,231 --> 00:18:31,731
It's the blood of Christ.
527
00:18:31,731 --> 00:18:34,564
Look, it wipes right off.
528
00:18:34,564 --> 00:18:35,898
There.
529
00:18:35,898 --> 00:18:38,398
It's good as new.
530
00:18:38,398 --> 00:18:39,856
Hm.
531
00:18:42,106 --> 00:18:43,981
"As he left Crayton,
532
00:18:43,981 --> 00:18:46,731
he looked back at the nine rings
of his home planet
533
00:18:46,731 --> 00:18:50,731
and knew that his past
would always be his future."
534
00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:54,023
[ Sighs ]
535
00:18:54,023 --> 00:18:56,439
So that's the secret
of Quaytar.
536
00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:59,814
Or is it?
537
00:18:59,814 --> 00:19:00,898
Whoa...
538
00:19:00,898 --> 00:19:02,731
[ Door opens and closes ]
539
00:19:04,023 --> 00:19:05,981
I told you, Pop.
540
00:19:05,981 --> 00:19:07,773
I'm a man of my word.
541
00:19:10,606 --> 00:19:12,981
Meantime, the Watergategrand jury is back in session,
542
00:19:12,981 --> 00:19:14,856
calling dirty tricksexpert...
543
00:19:14,856 --> 00:19:16,814
Okay, then.
544
00:19:16,814 --> 00:19:21,731
♪♪
545
00:19:21,731 --> 00:19:23,814
Adult Timmy: Even though weoften went our separate ways
546
00:19:23,814 --> 00:19:25,356
and had our own adventures,
547
00:19:25,356 --> 00:19:27,439
dinner was the timewe could come together
548
00:19:27,439 --> 00:19:30,106
as a family and avoidtalking about our day.
549
00:19:30,106 --> 00:19:32,939
Eddie, good job with the
Stouffer's Frozen Lasagna.
550
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,273
50 minutes at 425.
551
00:19:35,273 --> 00:19:38,481
I like the way Mom cuts it
into perfect squares.
552
00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:40,273
I don't know what to do
with this mess.
553
00:19:40,273 --> 00:19:42,481
Nothing beats your mom's
meatloaf sandwich.
554
00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:44,231
Today's was the best ever.
555
00:19:44,231 --> 00:19:45,981
Tasted the same to me.
[ Grunts ]
556
00:19:45,981 --> 00:19:47,106
We need a dog.
557
00:19:47,106 --> 00:19:48,231
I vote no.
558
00:19:48,231 --> 00:19:49,398
Dog's a big responsibility.
559
00:19:49,398 --> 00:19:50,523
Not like a fish
or a cat
560
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,106
where it doesn't matter
if you keep it alive.
561
00:19:52,106 --> 00:19:54,148
Mm-hmm.
I can handle big responsibilities.
562
00:19:54,148 --> 00:19:55,606
Okay, then, we've got that leak
in the roof.
563
00:19:55,606 --> 00:19:57,273
You get up there and fix that,
then we'll talk dog.
564
00:19:57,273 --> 00:19:58,439
Yay!
565
00:19:58,439 --> 00:19:59,564
[ Door opens ]
566
00:19:59,564 --> 00:20:01,564
I cannot believe it.
567
00:20:01,564 --> 00:20:04,064
Is nobody even going to bring up
the real crime here today?
568
00:20:06,148 --> 00:20:08,606
The fact that no one
has even told Mom yet
569
00:20:08,606 --> 00:20:10,189
how lovely her hair looks.
570
00:20:10,189 --> 00:20:12,023
Oh, Frank.
571
00:20:12,023 --> 00:20:13,106
Thank you.
572
00:20:13,106 --> 00:20:14,606
Real nice hair, Peg.
573
00:20:14,606 --> 00:20:16,481
You could be
one of those Gabor sisters.
574
00:20:16,481 --> 00:20:19,898
Yeah. You know,
I completely, 100% agree.
575
00:20:19,898 --> 00:20:20,814
Beautiful.
576
00:20:24,606 --> 00:20:26,356
Hm.
577
00:20:26,356 --> 00:20:28,231
[ Door opens ]
[ Chuckles ]
578
00:20:28,231 --> 00:20:29,481
Hi, Mrs. Cleary.
579
00:20:29,481 --> 00:20:31,398
Oh, there you are,
Wendi.
580
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:33,314
Aren't you gonna compliment her
on her hairdo?
581
00:20:33,314 --> 00:20:34,648
Yeah, of course.
582
00:20:34,648 --> 00:20:36,523
[ Chuckles ]
583
00:20:36,523 --> 00:20:38,106
Look at all that.
584
00:20:38,106 --> 00:20:40,564
{\an8}You ready to go?
585
00:20:40,564 --> 00:20:43,106
{\an8}We're headed up to Hansen Dam
to watch the meteor shower.
586
00:20:43,106 --> 00:20:44,356
{\an8}That's a lot of interest
in Astronomy
587
00:20:44,356 --> 00:20:46,231
{\an8}for a guy
who got a C-minus.
588
00:20:46,231 --> 00:20:50,064
{\an8}I believe my friend Wendi
is staying with us tonight.
589
00:20:50,064 --> 00:20:51,856
{\an8}Your mom wants to teach me
how to decoupage.
590
00:20:51,856 --> 00:20:54,523
{\an8}She's amazing
and so crafty.
591
00:20:54,523 --> 00:20:56,439
{\an8}She's definitely crafty.
592
00:20:56,439 --> 00:20:57,814
{\an8}Hm.
Seems a shame
593
00:20:57,814 --> 00:21:00,106
{\an8}to miss
the Perseids Maximus tonight.
594
00:21:00,106 --> 00:21:02,606
{\an8}♪♪
595
00:21:02,606 --> 00:21:03,648
{\an8}I'll go with you, buddy.
596
00:21:03,648 --> 00:21:05,148
{\an8}Ah.
597
00:21:05,148 --> 00:21:07,148
{\an8}♪♪
42133
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