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1
00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:36,745
Run!
2
00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:41,209
Morty, do it!
Hit the button now!
3
00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:42,292
I can't do it, Rick!
4
00:00:42,335 --> 00:00:43,628
They're my parents and sister!
5
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,147
Morty, I already told you...
It's not your family!
6
00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:47,048
They're clones from
an alternate reality,
7
00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:48,775
possessed by demonic alien
spirits from another
8
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:49,884
dimension's future!
9
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,403
Do you need a mnemonic
device or something?
10
00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:52,637
Just hit the button, already!
11
00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:57,099
Morty, please,
I love you, sweetheart.
12
00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:58,476
Oh!
13
00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:06,484
Good work, morty.
14
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:10,696
You know, th-th-these demonic
alien spirits are really valuable.
15
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:11,989
You okay, morty?
16
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:14,033
I told you not to
trust that tuna.
17
00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,493
I just killed my family!
18
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,678
I don't care what they were.
19
00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:17,828
I don't know, morty.
20
00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:19,348
Some people'd pay top dollar
for that kind of breakthrough.
21
00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:20,372
You know what, Rick?
22
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,499
That's it!
23
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,125
I'm done with these
insane adventures!
24
00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:25,378
That was really traumatizing!
I quit! I'm out!
25
00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:26,963
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
26
00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:28,941
Come on, morty, don't -—
Don't... don't be like that.
27
00:01:28,965 --> 00:01:30,549
The universe is a crazy,
chaotic place.
28
00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:31,985
You're the one that's
crazy and chaotic!
29
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,220
Adventures are supposed
to be simple and fun.
30
00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:35,221
Oh, yeah, morty, yeah.
31
00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:36,424
Yeah, that —- that —- that's
32
00:01:36,472 --> 00:01:38,391
real easy to say from the
sidekick position.
33
00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,494
But —- but, uh, how about
next time you be in charge,
34
00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:42,520
and then we'll talk about
how simple and fun it is?
35
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:43,813
Seriously, Rick?
36
00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:45,940
Y-Y-You'll... you'll
let me call the shots?
37
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,233
Okay, yeah, fine.
38
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:48,752
But let's make it interesting,
morty.
39
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,862
I-I—I—if your adventure sucks
and we bail halfway through it,
40
00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:54,407
you lose the right to bitch
about all future adventures.
41
00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,284
Plus, you have to do
my laundry for a month.
42
00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,576
Okay, all right, tough guy!
43
00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:58,828
But if my adventure's good,
44
00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,389
I get to be in charge of
every third adventure!
45
00:02:00,413 --> 00:02:01,330
Every 10th.
46
00:02:01,414 --> 00:02:02,331
Deal. All right.
47
00:02:02,415 --> 00:02:03,642
W-Well, come on,
let's get going.
48
00:02:03,666 --> 00:02:05,584
Dad, the dishwasher's
doing that thing again.
49
00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:06,502
Washing dishes?
50
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:07,420
No. The opposite.
51
00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:08,796
Can you fix it?
52
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,524
Grandpa Rick, can you help me
with my science homework?
53
00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:11,465
Yeah... j-just don't do it.
54
00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:12,842
Grandpa!
55
00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:15,803
Hey, Rick, you got some kind of
hand-shaped device that can open
56
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:16,929
this mayonnaise jar?
57
00:02:17,013 --> 00:02:18,180
Wow. Hat trick.
58
00:02:18,264 --> 00:02:19,366
All right, morty,
let's put a pin in this.
59
00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:20,659
I got to help your
pathetic family.
60
00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:22,661
Oh, that sounds like
something a chicken would say.
61
00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:24,520
Bawk, bawk, bawk,
bawk, bawk, bawk.
62
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:25,747
Oh, morty, you done
did it this time.
63
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,148
It's on.
64
00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,311
I can't wait to watch your
adventure lay a huge fart.
65
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,027
As for you dingdongs...
66
00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:33,112
This is a meeseeks box.
67
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,298
Let me show you how it works.
68
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:35,197
You press this.
69
00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:36,991
I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
70
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:38,075
Look at me!
71
00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:39,452
You make a request.
72
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:41,455
Mr. Meeseeks, open Jerry's
stupid mayonnaise jar.
73
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:42,955
Yes, siree!
74
00:02:43,039 --> 00:02:44,498
The meeseeks fulfills
the request.
75
00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:45,875
All done!
76
00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:47,043
Wow!
77
00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:48,502
And then it stops existing.
78
00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:50,087
Oh, my god, he exploded!
79
00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:51,315
Trust me, they're fine with it.
80
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:52,506
Knock yourselves out -...
81
00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:54,300
Just keep your requests simple.
82
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,259
They're not gods.
83
00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:56,469
All right!
84
00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:57,821
G-Get out of here now!
Everybody out of here!
85
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,305
I got a bet to win!
86
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,016
So many possibilities.
87
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:03,309
My mind is racing.
88
00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:04,536
If we're gonna use this thing,
89
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:05,829
which I'm not even
sure we should,
90
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:06,771
we need to keep it simp...
91
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,230
I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
92
00:03:08,314 --> 00:03:09,416
I want to be popular at school!
93
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:10,733
Ooh, okay!
94
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,276
Summer, what did I just...
95
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,320
Ooh, I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
Look at me!
96
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,881
I-I—I want —- I want to
be a more complete woman!
97
00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:16,739
Beth!
98
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,824
Oh, yeah! Yes, ma'am!
99
00:03:18,908 --> 00:03:21,369
You guys are doing it wrong.
100
00:03:21,452 --> 00:03:24,372
He said "simple."
101
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,791
Hey, there. I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
102
00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:30,044
Mr. Meeseeks,
I would like to take
103
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,796
two strokes off my golf game.
104
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:35,549
Ooh, yeah! Can do!
105
00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:36,842
Nailed it.
106
00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:39,136
God, morty, what a boring
start to an adventure.
107
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:41,514
I don't... w-w-w-why didn't we
just go to Kentucky?
108
00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,808
Rick, this is a fantasy-type
world with creatures
109
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,518
and all sorts of fantasy things.
110
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:46,936
W-We're going on a quest, okay?
111
00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:49,355
Rick: Can't wait.
112
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,107
Ahem. Excuse me!
113
00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:54,902
We are two humble heroes
in search of adventure!
114
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,195
Oh, my god, so embarrassing.
115
00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:57,863
At last! Two heroes!
116
00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:59,365
You must help us!
117
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:02,701
This village is terribly poor,
yet the giant that lives in the
118
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:04,745
clouds above has
untold treasures!
119
00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:06,205
You know what?
120
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:09,792
I-I—I accept your call to
adventure, good sir, kind sir.
121
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,127
Come on, Rick.
122
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:12,461
There's a giant in the clouds!
123
00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:13,421
Yeah.
124
00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:14,922
Beginner's luck.
125
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:18,759
Meeseeks: In conclusion, a friendship
with summer Smith is the most
126
00:04:18,843 --> 00:04:22,388
valuable and enriching
experience of your young lives.
127
00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:24,723
I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
128
00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:26,058
Look at me!
129
00:04:26,142 --> 00:04:26,976
Thank you!
130
00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:28,436
Uh, Mr. Meeseeks, was it?
131
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:29,728
Yeah. Gene vagina.
132
00:04:29,812 --> 00:04:32,815
Listen, I'm in a bit of custody
thing with my ex and was wondering...
133
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,618
No, I'll g—- I'll get
your info from summer.
134
00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:37,027
I got pregnant at 17.
135
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:39,089
I mean, I still put myself
through veterinary school.
136
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:44,743
Yes, I'm successful,
but what if! Hadn't...
137
00:04:44,827 --> 00:04:48,330
I'm just saying,
somewhere along the way,
138
00:04:48,414 --> 00:04:51,375
I lost that wide—eyed
girl from muskegon.
139
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:53,461
She's still there, Beth.
140
00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:54,837
Well, her waistline isn't.
141
00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:59,383
Beth, having a family
doesn't mean that you
142
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:01,719
stop being an individual.
143
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:02,821
You know the best thing you can
144
00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:04,930
do for people that
depend on you?
145
00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:09,143
Be honest with them, even if
it means setting them free.
146
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:12,354
You're saying I
should leave Jerry.
147
00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:16,942
I can't believe I'm finally
having this conversation.
148
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:26,326
More wine?
149
00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,496
I think I've had enough.
150
00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:36,212
Remember to square your
shoulders, Jerry.
151
00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:38,005
Yeah, yeah. I got it.
152
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:43,636
That's okay.
153
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:45,471
I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
154
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,389
Try again and
keep your head down.
155
00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:48,641
Okay, well, which is it?
156
00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:50,160
Square my shoulders
or keep my head down?
157
00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:51,644
Well, it's both.
158
00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:54,396
But most importantly,
you got to relax.
159
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:55,600
You know what, Mr. Meeseeks?
160
00:05:55,648 --> 00:05:56,565
I don't think this is working.
161
00:05:56,649 --> 00:05:57,983
I give up.
162
00:05:58,067 --> 00:06:00,402
I'm sorry, Jerry,
but it doesn't work like that.
163
00:06:00,486 --> 00:06:01,779
I'm Mr. Meeseeks.
164
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,657
I have to fulfill my
purpose so I can go away.
165
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:05,824
Look at me.
166
00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:07,868
Well, make yourself comfortable,
because I suck.
167
00:06:07,952 --> 00:06:10,829
No, Jerry, I'm the one who
sucks!
168
00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:12,665
Let me try something.
169
00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:13,958
I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
170
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:14,959
Look at me!
171
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:15,960
Hi, Mr. Meeseeks!
172
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:16,961
I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me.
173
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,462
Hi!
174
00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:20,774
Can you help me get two strokes
off of Jerry's golf swing?
175
00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:22,216
Can do!
176
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:23,717
I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
177
00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:25,511
Is he keeping his
shoulders squared?
178
00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,304
Ooh, he's trying!
179
00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,436
All right, morty.
180
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,438
W-W-We're in your
stupid giant's castle.
181
00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:37,522
W-What do we do next?
182
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:38,649
Would you just relax, Rick?
183
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,252
All we got to do is find
the treasure room, okay?
184
00:06:40,276 --> 00:06:41,694
It's nice and simple.
185
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,505
You know, i-i-I'm sorry
everything's going so
186
00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:44,905
smoothly and adventurously.
187
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:48,450
Uh-oh, morty.
188
00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:49,761
Startin' to get a little hairy.
189
00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:50,929
What do you want to do, boss?
190
00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:51,787
Come on, hurry.
191
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:52,913
Behind this cookie jar.
192
00:06:52,997 --> 00:06:56,584
Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!
193
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,127
Just give up, morty.
194
00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,378
J-J—j—- this is game over.
195
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:00,588
I'll take us home right now.
196
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:01,547
You just say the word.
197
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:02,464
No way, Rick.
198
00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:03,591
This is all part of it.
199
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:05,593
Adventures have conflict.
Deal with it.
200
00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,845
I smell the blood of -— whoop!
201
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:09,847
Holy crap.
202
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:10,930
Oh, boy.
203
00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:12,325
He looks pretty
bad down there, morty.
204
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,476
Looks like he's bleeding out.
205
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,687
Oh, Jesus! Dale!
206
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,606
You sons of bitches!
207
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:19,857
- Oh, man.
- Uh-oh.
208
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,191
Hello, 911?
209
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,995
My husband has been
attacked by tiny people!
210
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,068
He's dying!
211
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:28,073
Hey, look, we get it.
212
00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:29,551
You're little, you're down
on your luck, you think,
213
00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:30,951
"hey, he's a giant.
214
00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:33,013
Why don't we break into his
home, Rob him, and murder him?"
215
00:07:33,037 --> 00:07:34,872
Th-th... but that's
not how it went down!
216
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,665
Oh, well, it's going
down like that.
217
00:07:36,749 --> 00:07:38,459
You're both going
down like that.
218
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,836
Ooh, boy, morty, you're really
showing me how it's done.
219
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,588
Real straight forward and fun.
220
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:46,175
Like, letting go of the
need to be popular is what
221
00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,676
makes people like you.
222
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,346
The most important love you
can receive is from yourself.
223
00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:53,140
Okay, Jerry, you got to
just choke up on the club!
224
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,100
Well, which is it,
choke up or follow-through?!
225
00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:57,603
Aww, come on, Jerry,
we've been over this.
226
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,271
You know you got to do both!
227
00:07:59,355 --> 00:08:01,857
This is as frustrating
for us as it is for you.
228
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:02,983
Don't tell me that!
229
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:04,318
That just puts pressure on me!
230
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,401
Just try to relax.
231
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:06,528
You try to relax!
232
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:08,113
Have you ever tried to relax?!
233
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,074
It is a paradox!
234
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:12,534
Ugh, these meeseeks, huh?
235
00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:13,952
Kind of a handful.
236
00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:16,080
I can't imagine what you
two must be going through.
237
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,207
Our meeseeks have been
gone for hours, Jerry.
238
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:19,541
You're kidding me.
239
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,251
Notice anything different?
240
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:22,920
I-i-I'm sorry. Hours?
241
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,797
Dad, mom is a beautiful woman!
242
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:25,964
Look at her!
243
00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:27,132
You w/I/iose her!
244
00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,592
Uhh...
245
00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:31,303
Hey, Jerry, you mind if we
get back to the task at hand?
246
00:08:31,387 --> 00:08:34,098
Meeseeks don't usually
have to exist this long.
247
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,016
It's getting weird.
248
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:38,102
Order in the court!
249
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,812
Before the jury
reaches its verdict,
250
00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:44,233
I just want to say that I
consider you both veryguilty.
251
00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:45,401
Oh, great adventure, buddy.
252
00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:46,860
Rick and morty
go to giant prison.
253
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:48,487
You know, if somebody
drops the soap,
254
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,823
it's gonna land on our heads
and crush our spines, morty.
255
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:53,575
You know, i-i-i-it'll be really
easy to rape us after that.
256
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:54,785
We're gonna be okay, Rick.
257
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:55,911
How?
258
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,246
They took my portal gun.
259
00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:58,769
This is an open-and-shut case,
morty.
260
00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:00,433
You know, w-w-w-what do you
think's gonna happen,
261
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,459
some magical angel's
gonna show up and then...
262
00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:03,627
Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!
263
00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:05,462
I smell the violation
of civil liberties!
264
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:08,006
Your honor, I'm from a
tiny—persons advocacy group
265
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:11,135
and I have here in my
hand a motion to dismiss.
266
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,538
These little men were never read
their giant rights and are
267
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:16,515
therefore free-fi to fo-home.
268
00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:18,225
W-What the hell is
he talking about?
269
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,661
They're free to go,
is what I meant.
270
00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:22,730
I-I—I'm deconstructing
our... our —- our thing we say.
271
00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:24,648
For giants. Nobody got that?
272
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:25,941
Whatever.
273
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,384
Oh, man, what did
I tell you, Rick?
274
00:09:27,443 --> 00:09:28,861
We did it!
275
00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:31,363
All right, morty, looks like
the portal gun's still working.
276
00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:32,740
You ready to head home?
277
00:09:32,823 --> 00:09:34,050
Oh, yeah, you'd like that,
wouldn't you, Rick?
278
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,074
Well, you know what?
279
00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:36,410
We're not bailing out just yet.
280
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,179
You know, w-we're gonna go
find some treasure or...
281
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,747
Or something and...
282
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:41,391
And we're gonna bring
it to those villagers.
283
00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:42,750
Morty, cut your losses.
284
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,168
This is obviously a wash.
285
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,753
Yeah, you were saying
that back...
286
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:48,464
Back w-w-w-when we first got
arrested, but here we are,
287
00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:50,267
you know, walking down
the courthouse steps.
288
00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:54,052
Oh, boy, morty.
289
00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:56,239
Usually, walking down the
courthouse steps is the easy
290
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,514
part of the adventure.
291
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:58,766
What do you say, morty?
292
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,101
I say give me a hand, sidekick.
293
00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:07,149
Everybody shut up!
294
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,317
Let me try!
295
00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:13,238
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
296
00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:14,322
I'm going out.
297
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,407
Wait. What?
298
00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:17,075
Well, you're busy. I'm hungry.
299
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:18,494
I thought I'd go out.
300
00:10:18,577 --> 00:10:20,472
Do you want me to be happy or do
you want me to be in prison?
301
00:10:20,496 --> 00:10:21,856
Whoa, whoa, where
in the hell is...
302
00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:23,957
I'll take you to dinner.
303
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,335
Hey, you know what?
304
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:27,544
It's hard being me, too.
305
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,087
I'll be right there.
306
00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:31,941
Look, I've got a marriage
to keep together.
307
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,843
At this point, my golf swing is
more your problem than mine.
308
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,555
I can't take it anymore.
309
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:39,807
I just want to die!
310
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:40,891
We all want to die!
311
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:41,974
We're meeseeks!
312
00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:43,560
Why did you even
rope me into this?
313
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,103
'Cause he roped me into this!
314
00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:47,523
Well, him over there,
he roped me into this!
315
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:48,941
Well, he roped me into this!
316
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:49,942
Well, what about me?
317
00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,360
He —- he roped me into this.
318
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,087
Well, that one over
there roped me into this.
319
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,530
Well, he roped me into this.
320
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,535
Yeah, morty, this is the part
of the story everybody loves...
321
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,912
Scaling down 650,000
oversized steps.
322
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,455
All right, okay, y-you know,
323
00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:06,708
if this was a story, this part
wouldn't be included, stupid.
324
00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:08,919
Hey, Rick, w-w-w-w-w-what
do you know?
325
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,379
Look down there.
326
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,190
Looks like some kind of tavern
or something built right into
327
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,257
the side of the step.
328
00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:16,176
Oh, wow, Rick.
329
00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,970
Now, this is more like it.
330
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,514
Look, there's little
staircase-shaped people in here.
331
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,432
A—all kinds of crazy characters.
332
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,643
This place is great, you know?
333
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,436
It's whimsical andfun.
334
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:30,482
- What are you looking at, motherfucker?
- Easy, Rick.
335
00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:31,692
Pay them no mind.
336
00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:33,569
Those stair goblins
can be moody.
337
00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,487
Now, what can I getcha?
338
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:42,786
We've got skarlog poppies,
flurlow, halzingers, bloogies,
339
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,037
juicy time babies.
340
00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:45,932
Yeah, yeah, yeah, h-how
about some scotch whiskey?
341
00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:47,141
You got any of that around here?
342
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,268
Or just a bunch
of nonsense words?
343
00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:49,293
Rick.
344
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,794
We'll have two bloogies, please.
345
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:54,214
And, uh, we were wondering, is
there a faster way two heroes
346
00:11:54,298 --> 00:11:55,591
could get down these stairs?
347
00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,509
Y'all need to
ride down the stairs?
348
00:11:57,593 --> 00:12:01,597
My name is slippely-slippery stair.
349
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,683
I'll take you down
there for 25 shmeckels.
350
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,184
25 shmeckels?
351
00:12:06,268 --> 00:12:07,829
I-I-I don't know how much...
I don't know what that is.
352
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,062
Is that a lot? Is it a little?
353
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:12,024
That's exactly how much
I spent on my big fake boobies.
354
00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:13,400
Hi, I'm Mr. Booby buyer.
355
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,319
I'll buy those boobies
for 25 shmeckels.
356
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:18,322
It's a tempting offer,
but I'm gonna have to decline.
357
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,907
Rats! What a shame.
358
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:22,451
Morty, your adventure's
in a spiral.
359
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:23,994
For real, man, time to pull out.
360
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,513
You keep heckling my adventure,
Rick!
361
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:26,537
You know why?
362
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:27,580
Uh, because it's lame?
363
00:12:27,623 --> 00:12:28,749
It's because you're petty!
364
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,083
You know, h-how many times have
365
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:33,045
I had to follow you into some
nonsensical bull crap?
366
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:34,755
I always roll with
the punches, Rick.
367
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,048
Why can't you?
368
00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:38,051
Look, I got to take a leak,
and when I come back,
369
00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:41,136
I—if you haven't learned how to
lighten up, don't be here!
370
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,930
Whatever.
371
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,223
It's become clear...
Look at me...
372
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:47,976
That if we concentrate all our
efforts on Jerry's
373
00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:50,896
follow-through,
we will solve this problem.
374
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,064
I'm Mr. Meeseeks.
375
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,607
I'm Mr. Meeseeks. Look at me.
376
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:56,109
The only thing that's clear
is that choking up is
377
00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:57,527
the one true solution.
378
00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:59,321
Look at me. I'm Mr. Meeseeks.
379
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,949
I've been trying to help Jerry
for two days,
380
00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:05,118
an eternity in meeseeks time,
and nothing's worked.
381
00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:06,578
I fear the worst.
382
00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:09,081
Your failures are your own,
old man.
383
00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,916
I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me.
384
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,709
I say follow-through!
385
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:13,919
Who's with me?!
386
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,381
I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
387
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:18,507
Kill him!
388
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:25,722
How are you today?
389
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,391
I'm Mr. Jelly bean.
390
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,474
Hi, Mr. Jelly bean.
391
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:29,601
I'm morty.
392
00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,125
My grandpa and I
are on an adventure.
393
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,938
Nice. Is it a fun adventure?
394
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,523
I hope so.
395
00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,459
But I'm starting to get nervous
that maybe it's gone a little
396
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:37,609
too far off the rails.
397
00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:39,861
Isn't that what adventures do?
398
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,196
Hey, y-you know what?
399
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:42,280
You're right.
400
00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:43,532
Everything's going fine.
401
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,118
I just got to relax
and go with the flow.
402
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:48,453
Yeah.
403
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,539
O-O-Okay. Uh. B-Bye.
404
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,416
Uhh, no, stay.
405
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:53,625
Go with the flow.
406
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:54,960
Stop.
407
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,396
Y-Y-You're making me
really uncomfortable.
408
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,255
Stop fighting me.
409
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,091
- Just let this happen.
- Get off of me!
410
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,635
J” sweet home Alabama j“
411
00:14:03,719 --> 00:14:04,719
whoo!
412
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:08,140
No! Stop! Please!
413
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:11,476
Stop being such a fucking tease,
you sweet little twat.
414
00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:23,905
No! No!
415
00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:25,990
Ow!
416
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,630
Everybody sto-o-o-p!
417
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:41,965
Look at me!
418
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,843
My brothers, nothing will be
accomplished by shedding
419
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,261
meeseeks blood.
420
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:49,222
None of us can die
until ourjob is done.
421
00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:50,599
The job can't be done!
422
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,476
We'll never get two
strokes off his game!
423
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,810
No, we won't.
424
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,813
But we will get all
strokes off his game.
425
00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,398
Where's he going with this?
426
00:14:58,482 --> 00:14:59,483
What's he mean?
427
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,151
When we kill him.
428
00:15:03,779 --> 00:15:07,032
Beth: Jerry, maybe it's time I take
that trip I always talk about.
429
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,492
Where would you go?
430
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:09,701
I don't know, man.
431
00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:12,370
Italy. Greece. Argentina.
432
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:15,874
Countries known
for their sexually aggressive men.
433
00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,896
Did I tell you how much
I love your new haircut?
434
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:22,464
What the heck?
435
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,132
There he is!
436
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:28,512
Run, Jerry!
437
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,555
Aah!
438
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:33,600
Come on out, Jerry!
439
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:34,559
Guys, I'll choke up.
440
00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:35,811
I'll follow through.
441
00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:37,121
I'll do whatever you
tell me to do, okay?
442
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,773
Oh, we're well past that, Jerry.
443
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:43,777
Come on, Rick, quit sk-—
Stalling.
444
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,238
What do ya got?
445
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:47,656
Read 'em and weep, fellas!
446
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:48,573
All: Aw!
447
00:15:48,657 --> 00:15:50,117
Oh, hey, morty.
448
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,011
Listen, I'm really sorry about
all that stuff I said earlier
449
00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:53,203
about your adventure.
450
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,830
I-I—I'm havin' a good time,
morty.
451
00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:55,914
It's not so bad.
452
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:56,998
Let's just go home, okay?
453
00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:57,874
I'm calling it.
454
00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:59,126
The adventure's over.
455
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,686
We can't leave now, morty.
I'm on fire!
456
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:01,729
Look, I want to leave now.
457
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:03,130
You win the bet, okay?
458
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,133
Just give me the portal gun
and let's go, please.
459
00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:10,929
Please, I just want
to go home. Okay.
460
00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:12,012
Listen, morty.
461
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:13,557
I just won a bunch of shmeckels.
462
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,101
Why don't we use 25 of them to
pay slippery stair here for a
463
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:18,454
ride back to the village, and
then we'll give the rest of the
464
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,705
shmeckels to the villagers, huh?
465
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,273
Really?
466
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:22,524
Sure, morty. Yeah.
467
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,447
You know, a good adventure
needs a good ending.
468
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,113
Buckle up!
469
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:35,453
Meeseeks are not born into this
world fumbling for meaning,
470
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:36,830
Jerry!
471
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:40,333
We are created to serve a
singular purpose for which
472
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,586
we will go to any
lengths to fulfill!
473
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,547
Existence is pain
to a meeseeks, Jerry.
474
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:48,383
And we will do anything
to alleviate that pain.
475
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,467
- Just ask...
- Aah!
476
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:51,261
What's your name, ma'am?
477
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,471
S—samantha. Please, mister!
478
00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:55,223
Give him what he wants!
479
00:16:55,307 --> 00:16:58,852
Innocent people are going
to die because of me.
480
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,688
Why am I so mediocre?
481
00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:04,858
Jerry, turn around.
482
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,026
Straighten your back.
483
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,027
Bend your knees.
484
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:07,986
Bendthem.
485
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,279
Square your shoulders.
486
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,740
Take a deep breath.
487
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:14,618
I love you.
488
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,494
I'm counting to three, Jerry.
489
00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:33,720
What the fuck is going on?
490
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,057
He's got it!
491
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,700
Th-th-that's a lower
handicap stro-o-ke!
492
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,688
Excuse me.
493
00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:45,357
I'm a bit of a
stickler meeseeks.
494
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,567
What about your short game?
495
00:17:47,651 --> 00:17:49,861
Oh, my god, oh, my god!
496
00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:52,739
[Crying 1
what about your short game?!
497
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,121
Ooh, nice!
498
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,795
I think we'll take
our food to go.
499
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:07,712
No, you won't.
500
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:08,797
The police are coming.
501
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,382
You have so many
questions to answer.
502
00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:11,675
Fair enough.
503
00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:19,099
Thank you, kind sir.
504
00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:20,558
Our village is saved!
505
00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:22,394
You are both true heroes!
506
00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:25,897
Oh!
507
00:18:25,981 --> 00:18:26,982
Good job, morty.
508
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,566
Looks like you won the bet.
509
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,819
Thanks, Rick,
but I don't know if I should.
510
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,463
You know, you were
right about the universe.
511
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,406
It's a crazy and chaotic place.
512
00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:36,342
Well, you know, maybe that's
why it could use a little
513
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,286
cleaning up every
now and then, you know.
514
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:40,388
This one's wrapped up neat
and clean because we did it
515
00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:41,746
morty style.
516
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:45,166
Oh! Heroes, we would like to
introduce you to our beloved
517
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:47,794
king so that he may
thank you personally.
518
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,838
Uh, no, I—it's cool.
519
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:51,423
Rick. Portal. Hurry.
520
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,723
Aah!
521
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,604
So...
522
00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:08,648
You still thinking
about taking that trip?
523
00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:10,317
Jerry, look.
524
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,860
We don't have a
perfect marriage,
525
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,445
but I'm not going anywhere.
526
00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:14,946
When we were in that freezer,
527
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:17,508
I realized the meeseeks are like
the guys I went to high school with...
528
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:21,036
Willing to say anything
to "complete their task."
529
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,662
Was I one of those guys?
530
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:25,874
The difference is you didn't
disappear aftennards.
531
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,167
Well...
532
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,543
I got you pregnant.
533
00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,462
Yeah...
534
00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:32,213
What the hell happened
to this place?
535
00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:33,840
Uh, your meeseeks box happened.
536
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,176
They went crazy when they
couldn't take two strokes off
537
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:37,259
Jerry's golf game.
538
00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:38,553
He felt terrible.
539
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,472
Hey, it's not my fault
that Jerry's an idiot.
540
00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:41,806
Dad!
541
00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:43,659
Is there anything you can
do to clean this place up?
542
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,602
Well, you know, I do
have a fleeseeks box.
543
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,270
No. No more boxes.
544
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:48,480
What?
545
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:49,915
It just has a mop and
some floor wax in it.
546
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,900
Wubba iubba dub dubs!
547
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,319
Yeah! That's my new thing!
548
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,320
I'm kind of like
what's his name -...
549
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,738
Ar-arsenio.
550
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,966
Isn't that —- it's what arsenio
used to say on his show.
551
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,784
Wobble gobba lop bops! Right?
552
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,743
See you next week, everybody.
553
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:02,827
I don't get it.
554
00:20:35,819 --> 00:20:38,321
Sir, I think you're going
to want to see this.
555
00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:42,158
We found it inside a iockbox
inside king jelly bean's closet.
556
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:44,411
We have to tell the people.
557
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:46,871
Wait.
558
00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:48,289
Destroy it.
559
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:57,841
Our people will get more from
the idea he represented than
560
00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,884
from the jelly bean
he actually was.
561
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,430
Did you get any of that?
562
00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:05,348
It's a good-a show!
37039
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