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1
00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,078
T-t-t-this is just
sloppy craftsmanship.
2
00:00:36,162 --> 00:00:37,496
Hey, Rick.
3
00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:40,750
Boy, sure is really especially
beautiful out there today, huh?
4
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:42,043
Oh, yes, morty.
5
00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,920
I-It's almost unbelievable,
isn't it?
6
00:00:44,003 --> 00:00:45,046
Yeah, you know?
7
00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:46,356
There's something about the air
8
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,007
and just the way the sunshine is.
9
00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:49,008
Uh, sure, buddy. Yeah.
10
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,760
Sure. B-Brilliant. Very convincing.
11
00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:51,761
Wha... convincing?
12
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:52,929
Oh. Responsive, too.
13
00:00:53,012 --> 00:00:54,305
In real time. I love it.
14
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,973
Uhh... okay.
15
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,257
I'm going to work.
16
00:00:57,308 --> 00:00:58,643
Morty, good morning.
17
00:00:58,726 --> 00:00:59,769
Dad, good morning.
18
00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,729
I am going to work. Goodbye.
19
00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,231
What's with mom?
20
00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:04,732
Oh, what's with mom?
21
00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,651
So, you're saying that
she's acting weird?
22
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,236
How sophisticated.
23
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:09,528
Careful, guys.
24
00:01:09,612 --> 00:01:11,405
You're gonna burn out
the cpu with this one.
25
00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:12,698
Okay, you know what, Rick?
26
00:01:12,782 --> 00:01:13,866
You're acting weird, too.
27
00:01:13,950 --> 00:01:16,702
Whatever, quote-unquote "morty."
28
00:01:16,786 --> 00:01:17,954
All right, well...
29
00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:19,288
I'll see you after school.
30
00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:21,123
Ow! Oof! Ugh!
31
00:01:21,207 --> 00:01:22,208
Damn it!
32
00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:23,459
I'm all right. I'm okay.
33
00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:28,965
All right, who can tell
me what 5 x 9 is?
34
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:31,592
Morty?
35
00:01:31,676 --> 00:01:32,551
Uh, me?
36
00:01:32,635 --> 00:01:33,803
What is 5 x 9?
37
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:36,973
Umm... you know,
it's uhh ...At least 40.
38
00:01:38,224 --> 00:01:40,434
Morty, that's exactly correct!
39
00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:43,020
5 x 9 is at least 40!
40
00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:43,980
Come up here.
41
00:01:44,063 --> 00:01:45,398
Whoo! Way to go, morty!
42
00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:47,858
Everybody,
this is the best student.
43
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,860
I want you to be
the teacher today.
44
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,320
Teach us, morty!
45
00:01:51,404 --> 00:01:52,571
Interesting.
46
00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:54,091
W-W-W—what do you
want me to teach you?
47
00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:55,157
Ooh, ooh!
48
00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:56,993
How do you make
concentrated dark matter?
49
00:01:57,076 --> 00:01:58,244
Oh, that's a good question.
50
00:01:58,327 --> 00:01:59,662
Concentrated huh?
51
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:00,871
Concentrated dark matter...
52
00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:03,457
The fuel for accelerated
space travel.
53
00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:04,601
Now, do you know how to make it?
54
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:05,501
Umm...
55
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:06,502
Jessica: Come on, morty.
56
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,754
Isn't your grandpa,
like, a scientist?
57
00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:11,382
Oh, yeah, but, you know,
he told me that I shouldn't go
58
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,093
around spouting off about, you
know, his science and stuff.
59
00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:17,179
I bet you've seen him make
concentrated dark matter a lot.
60
00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:20,433
You know, if you tell us,
I'll be your girlfriend.
61
00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:21,600
Uh, y-you will?
62
00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:23,602
Seems like a rare opportunity,
morty.
63
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,873
Morty, u-uh, come on.
There's a family emergency.
64
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:27,982
Stop right there!
65
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:29,251
If he leaves,
I'm giving him an "f."
66
00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:30,275
Rick: He doesn't care.
67
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,318
Aw, man!
68
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,695
Rick, I have to go back!
69
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,155
I think I was about
to get married!
70
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:35,382
Ugh! Take a shower with me,
morty.
71
00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:36,240
What?!
72
00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:37,533
Listen to me, morty.
73
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:39,469
Get your clothes off and
get in the shower right now.
74
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,203
Y—y-y-you got to
trust me, morty.
75
00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:42,287
Ugh!
76
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:43,682
I'm gonna get an
"f" in class, Rick.
77
00:02:43,706 --> 00:02:44,832
Morty, that's not class.
78
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,375
T-t-t-that wasn't your teacher.
79
00:02:46,459 --> 00:02:47,626
This isn't your school.
80
00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:49,253
This entire world
is not the world.
81
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,737
We're inside a huge simulation
chamber on an alien spaceship.
82
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:52,715
Wait a minute.
83
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:53,966
W-What are you talking about?
84
00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:55,885
It's all fake morty...
All of it.
85
00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:59,722
Nanobotic renderings, a bunch
of crazy fake nonsense, morty.
86
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,565
I couldn't say so until
we got in the shower.
87
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:02,850
They won't monitor us in here.
88
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,435
Monitor us?! W-Who?!
89
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,936
Zigerion scammers, morty —-
90
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:09,106
the galaxy's most ambitious,
least successful con artists.
91
00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:11,359
You know, it's lucky for
us they're also really
92
00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:12,461
uncomfortable with nudity.
93
00:03:12,485 --> 00:03:13,652
Aw, come on, Rick.
94
00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:15,047
If everyone's just
gonna be insane today,
95
00:03:15,071 --> 00:03:17,114
at least let me be
insane with Jessica.
96
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,216
I can't let you do that, morty.
97
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,033
Give it to me!
98
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:19,909
No!
99
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:20,826
You give it to me!
100
00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:22,745
G-G-Give it! No, Rick!
101
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,214
Oh, god, sir!
They're still naked!
102
00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:34,757
Ugh.
103
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,152
Well, check every five quintons
and tell me when they're not.
104
00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:39,387
I think we should
make kev/n look, sir.
105
00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:40,470
What?! No!
106
00:03:40,513 --> 00:03:41,931
W-W-Why would you even say that?
107
00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:44,058
Uh, sir, we have
a situation over here.
108
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,684
If there's a wiener on that
monitor,
109
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,269
I swear to god, stu...
110
00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,271
Something is drawing a
lot of processing power.
111
00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:50,523
Oh, wait. No wonder.
112
00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:52,983
There's another real
human in the simulator.
113
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,319
Okay, Jerry...
Big pitch meeting.
114
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:56,529
Make-or-break rime.
115
00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:58,531
You can do this.
116
00:03:58,614 --> 00:03:59,657
How did this happen?!
117
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,158
Where's the
abductions department?
118
00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:03,786
Hey, man, abductions just
follows the acquisition order.
119
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,287
Don't put this on acquisitions!
120
00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:07,915
We only acquire humans that
haven'tbeen simulated!
121
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,709
Well, simulations doesn't
simulate anybody that's been
122
00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:12,920
abducted, so oh, I see!
123
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,296
Oh, oh! It was no one's fault.
124
00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:15,548
Oh, okay.
125
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:16,858
I'm sorry.
Well, then, problem solved.
126
00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:17,925
Oh, wait... no.
127
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,969
There's still another
human in here!
128
00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:21,387
Who is he?
129
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,972
Rick's son-in-law, Jerry Smith.
130
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,850
So far, he hasn't noticed
he's in a simulation.
131
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,497
Well, cap his sector at 5%
processing,
132
00:04:28,561 --> 00:04:30,747
keep his settings on auto, and
we'll deal with him later.
133
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,898
Rick Sanchez is the target.
134
00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:36,545
Got to relax.
135
00:04:36,569 --> 00:04:37,862
It's just a pitch.
136
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,196
Got to relax.
137
00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,533
This is Ean'h radio.
138
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,244
And now, here 's... humah music.
139
00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:50,458
Hmm. Human music.
140
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:53,002
I like it.
141
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:07,016
Rick!
142
00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,184
Uhp, uhp, uhp!
143
00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:09,619
Morty, keep your hands
off your ding—dong!
144
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,121
It's the only way
we can speak freely.
145
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,354
Look around you, morty.
146
00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:14,482
Do you really think
this world is real?
147
00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:17,151
You'd have to be an idiot not to
notice all the sloppy details.
148
00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:19,361
Look —- that guy's putting
a bun between two hot dogs.
149
00:05:19,445 --> 00:05:20,488
Morty: I don't know, Rick.
150
00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,090
I mean, I've seen people
do that before.
151
00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:23,425
Rick:
Well, look at that old lady.
152
00:05:23,449 --> 00:05:25,075
She's... she's walking
a cat on a leash.
153
00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:27,077
Uh, Mrs. Spencer does
that all the time, Rick.
154
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,497
Look, I-I-I don't want to
hear about Mrs. Spencer, morty!
155
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:30,664
She's an idiot!
156
00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:31,624
All right, all right, there.
157
00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:32,875
W-What about that, morty?
158
00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,710
Morty:
Okay, okay, you got me on that one.
159
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:35,920
Oh, really, morty?
160
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,522
Are you sure you haven't
seen that somewhere
161
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:38,422
in real life before?
162
00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:39,757
No, no. I haven't seen that.
163
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,800
I mean, why would a
pop tart want to live inside
164
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:43,219
a toaster, Rick?
165
00:05:43,302 --> 00:05:45,739
I mean, that would be, like, the
scariest place for them to live.
166
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:46,805
You know what I mean?
167
00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,116
You're missing the point, morty.
168
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,060
Why would he drive a smaller
toaster with wheels?
169
00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:52,662
I mean, does your car look like
a smaller version of your house?
170
00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:53,771
No.
171
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:54,915
So, why are they doing this?
172
00:05:54,939 --> 00:05:56,023
W-What do they want?
173
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,250
Well, that would be
obvious to you, morty,
174
00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,514
if you'd been paying attention.
175
00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:03,048
We got the president of the
United States in here!
176
00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:05,908
We need 1000 of concentrated
dark matter, stat, or he'll die!
177
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,952
Concentrated dark matter?
178
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,662
They were asking
about that in class.
179
00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:11,473
Yeah, it's a special fuel I
invented to travel through
180
00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:13,123
space faster than anybody else.
181
00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,435
These zigerions are always
trying to scam me out of my secrets,
182
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:18,003
but they made a big
mistake this time, morty.
183
00:06:18,087 --> 00:06:19,880
They dragged you into this.
184
00:06:19,964 --> 00:06:21,048
Now they're gonna pay!
185
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,691
What do you...
W-W-What are we gonna do?
186
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,677
We'll scam the scammers, morty.
187
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,471
And we're gonna take them for
everything they've got.
188
00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:30,182
Jerry:
National apple farmers of america,
189
00:06:30,266 --> 00:06:32,351
welcome to our ad agency.
190
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,353
I'm Jerry Smith.
191
00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:36,397
All right.
192
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,856
I'll just... get to the pitch.
193
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:41,902
Um, simple question, gentlemen,
What are apples?
194
00:06:41,986 --> 00:06:43,320
Excuse me.
195
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:45,114
Ahh.
196
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,201
What are apples?
197
00:06:49,285 --> 00:06:51,870
Apples are food.
198
00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:54,456
And... when do we need food?
199
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:56,417
When we're hungry.
200
00:06:57,585 --> 00:07:00,546
With that, I give
you your new slogan!
201
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:04,049
Well, say something!
202
00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:05,134
Do you like it?
203
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,260
Yes.
204
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,261
You do?
205
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,387
All: Yes.
206
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:10,014
So... I sold it?
207
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,016
I sold the idea?
208
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,099
All: Yes.
209
00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:14,768
Oh, my god! Thank you!
210
00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:16,729
Together: Thank you.
211
00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:17,812
You're welcome.
212
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,235
Hey!
213
00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:24,695
I just sold my first pitch!
214
00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,364
Slow down! Lookin' good.
215
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:28,532
My man!
216
00:07:31,327 --> 00:07:32,453
Hello.
217
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,747
Guess who just sold
the apples campaign.
218
00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:36,457
Who just sold
the apples campaign?
219
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,916
Me!
220
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,628
I guess it wasn't a rip—off
of "got milk?" After all.
221
00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,504
Guess someone was wrong.
222
00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:43,672
Yes.
223
00:07:43,756 --> 00:07:45,275
Well, all is forgiven,
because right now,
224
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,580
I've got an erection the size
of an east coast lighthouse,
225
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:49,779
and I'm coming home to share
it with my beautiful wife.
226
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:50,638
Okay.
227
00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:51,513
Wait... really?
228
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,431
Yes.
229
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,266
Yes! See you in 10 minutes!
230
00:07:54,350 --> 00:07:55,350
Hey!
231
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:56,935
I'm going to make
love to my wife!
232
00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:58,354
Lookin' good.
233
00:07:58,437 --> 00:07:59,229
Slow down!
234
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:00,313
My man!
235
00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:02,983
Aw, geez, Rick.
236
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:04,794
I-I don't know if I
like this plan, you know?
237
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,655
I mean, crowds,
t-t—t—they have a tendency
238
00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:08,757
to make me really nervous.
239
00:08:08,781 --> 00:08:09,907
Morty, relax.
240
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,659
It's just a bunch
of 1s and os out there.
241
00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:12,951
You're gonna be fine.
242
00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:14,203
Just follow my lead.
243
00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:15,788
Yo, deejay, drop that beat.
244
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:20,125
Uh-oh, morty.
245
00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:23,295
This crowd looks too small for
one of ourfamous rap concerts.
246
00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:25,214
I don't think we can
perform our new song,
247
00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:27,508
"the recipe for
concentrated dark matter,"
248
00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:28,717
for a crowd this tiny.
249
00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:30,302
You got that right, Rick.
250
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:35,432
Rick: Now that's more like it!
251
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,142
Morty, here we go.
252
00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:40,104
Let me hear everybody
say "hey—oh!" Yeah!
253
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:42,898
All the ladies say, "yeah!"
254
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:46,235
Everybody over 30,
do this with your hands!
255
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,904
Everybody with a red shirt,
jump up and down!
256
00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:01,875
Mm. Mm. Mm.
257
00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:03,419
Yeah, don't move.
258
00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:05,713
Mm, mm, mm, mm!
259
00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:07,089
Mm!
260
00:09:08,424 --> 00:09:09,943
Yo, everyone whose first name
begins with an "I"
261
00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,594
who isn't hispanic, walk in a
circle the same number of times
262
00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:15,305
as the square root
of your age times 10!
263
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:19,435
Run, morty!
264
00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:20,728
Before the system reboots!
265
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,309
Jerry: Yeah! You like that?
266
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,357
Now who's unremarkable?
267
00:09:25,441 --> 00:09:26,900
You hungry for apples?
268
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,612
Are you hungry... for... apples?!
269
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:37,244
Oh, my god.
270
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:40,164
That's the best sex
I've ever had in my life.
271
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:44,460
It's... it's... too good.
272
00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:46,754
I don't deserve this, Beth.
273
00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:48,922
I'm a fraud.
274
00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:50,006
Oh, man, Rick!
275
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,300
W-w-w-where we running to?
276
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:52,634
Out of the simulation, morty.
277
00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:54,636
Normally, the chamber
operates like a treadmill,
278
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,480
with the virtual world
disappearing behind us
279
00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:58,575
and being rendered in front
of us as we move through it,
280
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,560
but while it's frozen, morty,
we can get to...
281
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,270
The edge.
282
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,353
Here we go.
283
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,272
Holy crap!
284
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,355
Come on, morty.
285
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:10,027
Sir, they're over the edge.
286
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,195
Yes, they are.
287
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:14,198
Just... as... planned.
288
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,078
Oh, this is going to
be such a mindfuck!
289
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,517
Keep your eyes peeled for the
central processing room, morty.
290
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,210
That's how we're gonna
scam these idiots.
291
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,629
So, hey, why do these aliens
keep coming after you, Rick,
292
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,112
if you're so
much smarter than them?
293
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:31,772
It's an obsession
for them at this point.
294
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,735
The zigerions have
been trying to outsmart
295
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:34,968
me for years, morty.
296
00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:37,054
Every time they do,
I'm one step ahead of them.
297
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,180
Aha!
298
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,348
Here we go.
299
00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:42,619
Grab as many processors
as you can carry, morty.
300
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,019
These guys aren't good at much,
301
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:46,313
but they're real/ygood
at making these chips.
302
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:49,731
Rick: I've got so many,
I can barely hold them all.
303
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,318
Look at... look at this.
304
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:52,401
Oops. I dropped one.
305
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:53,779
Don't worry about it, morty.
306
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,582
There's plenty of them,
you little goofball.
307
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,033
Come here, morty! Oh, I gotcha!
308
00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:58,992
Come on, quit it, Rick!
309
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,369
Quit it!
310
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:02,430
Nothing wrong with just a
little bit of horseplay every
311
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:03,997
now and then, little fella.
312
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:16,969
Wow. What do you know?
313
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:18,387
Huh. That was easy.
314
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,889
Totes malotes, dawg.
315
00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,158
Just kind of hard to believe,
you know?
316
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,559
Believe it, morty.
317
00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:25,912
And once again, I'm flying away
with everything I can carry,
318
00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:28,355
and the zigerions
got nothing of mine.
319
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,880
Mr. Marklevitz, do you have a...
320
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,030
Minute to talk?
321
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,490
Yes.
322
00:11:38,574 --> 00:11:40,158
Look, I'm a fraud.
323
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,702
I mean, let's face it...
324
00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:44,204
"Hungry for apples" is just
a rip-off of "got milk?"
325
00:11:44,288 --> 00:11:45,497
It's almost identical.
326
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:46,790
Yes.
327
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,083
Okay.
328
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,334
I deserve that.
329
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:52,713
Umm...! Guess...
I'll just pack up my desk.
330
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,006
Yes.
331
00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:59,428
Oh, my god.
332
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:02,055
Wait. You know what?! No!
333
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:04,141
The milk people don't
have a patent on
334
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,101
simple rhetorical questions!
335
00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:08,645
There's not even a single word
in "hungry for apples" that's
336
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,522
shared by "got milk?"
337
00:12:10,606 --> 00:12:12,441
It's a completely
different slogan.
338
00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:13,817
It's different!
339
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,819
And I shouldn't be fired.
340
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,529
I should be promoted!
341
00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:18,840
- Yes.
- Yeah!
342
00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:19,864
Wait. Really?
343
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:21,009
- Yes.
- Yes!
344
00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:22,576
I mean, I'm...
It may be derivative,
345
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,512
but it's the most successful
campaign to come out of this
346
00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:25,454
agency in a long time.
347
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:26,955
Yes.
348
00:12:27,039 --> 00:12:29,017
I-I'm not saying it should win
an award for commercials,
349
00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:31,043
but it could certainly be
nominated for an award
350
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:33,003
for commercials specifically
about apples,
351
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,713
like... an appley or something.
352
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:35,797
Yes.
353
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:36,983
Is there really an
award called the appley
354
00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:38,192
for apple-related ad campaigns?
355
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,259
Yes.
356
00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:40,612
- Could we nominate me?
- Yes.
357
00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:42,387
Holy crap!
358
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,686
Get in, morty.
359
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:52,356
I'm gonna be able to use
these processors to make some
360
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,149
real important science stuff.
361
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:57,903
Huh.
362
00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,346
I thought I entered
the code right.
363
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,956
Wha... well, what's this?
364
00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:11,500
W-What could this possibly be?
365
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,169
Because it looks like
you're inside a simulation...
366
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:17,089
Inside a simulation.
367
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,715
You're still on the ship.
368
00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,342
Game-day bucket go boom.
369
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,928
Sir, the, uh, doctor's
appointment to examine the
370
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:25,097
discoloration on your
butthole flaps was -...
371
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:26,515
Too loud, Cynthia.
372
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:27,766
Too loud and too specific.
373
00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:28,849
Uhh...
374
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,913
We've known how to make
concentrated dark matter
375
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:33,897
for a long time.
376
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:39,403
But now we also know the code to
your fabled safe, Rick Sanchez!
377
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,990
All your most valuable
secrets will now be ours!
378
00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:44,801
Uh, yeah, until I get home
before you and change the
379
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:46,326
combination,
you bunch of idiots!
380
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:47,804
That is why you're
never getting home.
381
00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:48,954
Get them!
382
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:55,419
Run, morty!
383
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,469
Oh, my god!
384
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:21,987
Ow!
385
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:32,306
I got to tell you, this morning,
386
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,810
I didn't even know
this award existed.
387
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,333
Now I'm holding one.
388
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,711
And... um...
389
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:41,548
Look, I want to say that today
was the best day of my life...
390
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:45,761
But... the truth is, it's...
It's more meaningful than that.
391
00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:46,844
Man: My man!
392
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,138
Yes. Thank you, sir.
393
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:53,685
I... am... finally complete!
394
00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:59,191
My... my... my... my man!
395
00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:03,612
Aah!
396
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:04,946
What the hell?!
397
00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:09,451
No.
398
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:10,452
- Jerry?!
- Dad!
399
00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:11,995
What are you doing here?
400
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,222
W-Why are you
dressed like a waiter?
401
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,406
Screw it. We don't have time.
402
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,248
Come on.
403
00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:16,750
No!
404
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,300
Ohhhhh!
405
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,554
Aah!
406
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:51,493
All: Yes! Yes! Yes!
407
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,626
Oof!
408
00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:03,255
Man up, Jerry!
409
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,714
I may need you to
work the lasers.
410
00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:19,229
Oh, man!
They're hot on our tail, Rick!
411
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,332
I guess they really do have
concentrated dark matter.
412
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:22,917
Well, you know how to make it,
too, right, Rick?
413
00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:23,942
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
414
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:25,318
Uh, check the engine room.
415
00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:28,071
We just need cesium, plutonic
quarks, and bottled water.
416
00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:31,575
It's all here, Rick!
417
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,659
Wow, morty. Lucky break.
418
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:33,910
Grab that bucket.
419
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:37,164
Okay, two parts plutonic quarks,
one part cesium.
420
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:38,373
Okay. Uh—huh.
421
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:41,877
All right.
422
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,521
Now empty the water bottle
into the bucket and pour
423
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:46,548
it all into the fuel tank so we
can get the hell out of here!
424
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,711
What are you doing, morty?!
425
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:48,758
There's no time!
426
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:57,058
Oh, no.
427
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,268
What the -...
428
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,352
No!
429
00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:06,735
Oh, my god, Rick.
430
00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,486
How dumb are you?
431
00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,238
You're inside a simulation...
432
00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:12,324
Of a simulation...
433
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:15,118
Inside another giant simulation!
434
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:19,331
W-We never had the recipe for
concentrated dark matter.
435
00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:20,999
But we do now!
436
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,709
We do now, sucka!
437
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,920
You simulated my
grandson's genitalia?!
438
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:27,422
Y—y-you bunch of
diabolical sons of bitches!
439
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:29,799
Kevin fought real hard to
supervise that project.
440
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,885
You said you weren't
gonna tell anyone!
441
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,762
I'm never gonna live
this down, am I?
442
00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:35,198
All right. Okay.
All right, great. Wonderful.
443
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:36,681
You win. Can we go home now?
444
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,391
I don't know. Can you?
445
00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:39,351
Ha! Nice.
446
00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,019
Okay, okay.
447
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,063
Show this gullible
turd to his shuttle.
448
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:44,439
I'm done with him.
449
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:45,762
Oh, wait. Let me get a picture.
450
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:47,943
Aww. Look at his face.
451
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,213
He's trying to figure out if
he's in a simulation still.
452
00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:51,237
Are you, Rick?
453
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,614
Are you?
454
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,033
You're not.
455
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,077
Or are you?
456
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,998
Oh, a—and, by the way, I don't
have discolored butthole flaps.
457
00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,416
That was part of the simulation.
458
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,584
Oh.
459
00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:06,187
Uh, sir, should I cancel
that appointment, then?
460
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:07,671
Yeah! Of course you should!
461
00:18:08,964 --> 00:18:10,006
No, keep it.
462
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,370
Move it up, actually,
if you can.
463
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,531
Rick:
Hey, Jerry, don't worry about it.
464
00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,325
So what if the most meaningful
day of your life was a
465
00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:21,810
simulation operating at
minimum capacity?
466
00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:23,270
You know what, Rick?
467
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:25,563
Those guys took you
for a ride, too.
468
00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:27,750
You should try having a little
respect for the dummies of the universe,
469
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,567
now that you're one of us.
470
00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:31,069
Maybe you're right, Jerry.
471
00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,862
Maybe you're right.
472
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,574
All right, everybody.
473
00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:40,120
Two parts plutonic quarks...
474
00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,414
One part cesium...
475
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,959
A—and listen,
I'm sorry for yelling earlier.
476
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,420
I-I couldn't ask
for a better staff.
477
00:18:48,503 --> 00:18:51,840
I love you guys,
and I love all your families.
478
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:55,051
And the final ingredient...
479
00:18:57,512 --> 00:18:58,596
Jerry: Whoa!
480
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,682
What the hell?!
W-What happened back there?
481
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:03,310
Why don't you ask the smartest
people in the universe, Jerry?
482
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:05,186
Oh, yeah. You can't.
483
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:06,604
They blew up.
484
00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,104
Jerry: So...
485
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:49,689
What do you think?
486
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,483
You're fired.
487
00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:52,692
Wha-...
488
00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:55,779
But t-this idea was tested in a
state-of—the—art simulation.
489
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,489
Well, then, it was
a terrible simulation.
490
00:19:57,572 --> 00:19:59,074
Get out.
491
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:05,872
Man, how does a guy like that go
home and have sex with his wife?
492
00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:07,582
Hey, morty.
493
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,500
What?
494
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:09,583
Hey, little buddy.
495
00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,419
H-H-How you doing
in here right now?
496
00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:13,380
Aw, geez, Rick.
What are you doing, man?
497
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:14,839
Y—y-you're a good kid, morty.
498
00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:16,925
Y—you're a real i-little
c-character, morty.
499
00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:18,259
Oh, boy.
500
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:20,887
You know, I had a really
rocky road today, m—morty.
501
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,014
You're my little friend,
aren't you?
502
00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:26,434
We had some good times together,
huh, m-morty?
503
00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:28,561
We... you're a real
true hero out in the field.
504
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:31,773
You're a ii... you're a real
trooper, huh, m-m-morty?
505
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,000
Have you been drinking, Rick?
506
00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,275
I really appreciate you, morty.
507
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:35,693
O-Okay, cool.
508
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,505
A-All right, Rick...
You little son of a bitch!
509
00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:39,364
Y—y... are you a simulation?!
510
00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:40,740
Huh?! Are you a simulation?!
511
00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:42,283
No! No! No!
512
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,535
You little son of a bitch!
513
00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:46,246
I-i-I'm sorry, morty.
514
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:47,598
Y—you're a good...
You're a good kid, morty.
515
00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:48,706
Geez!
516
00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:49,934
Y—you're a good...
You're a good kid.
517
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:51,042
Oh, my god!
518
00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,712
W-W-What the hell?
519
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:55,797
What a life.
520
00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,967
Did you get any of that?
521
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,885
It's a good-a show!
33584
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