All language subtitles for Dying for Sex s01e08 Its Not That Serious.eng

- [Nikki] Okay.
- [Molly chuckles]

[both laughing]

[Nikki] Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

After you talk to her,
I will discuss some options.

Okay. Are you, uh-

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah?

It's my job.

[sniffles] I'll need a second.

[laughing]

- [Nikki] Oh, man.
- [Molly screams] He can talk.

- Yeah.
- [nurse] Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

[both chuckle]

I'm Amy.

- Hi. Sorry.
- Hi.

Well, now that Dr. Pankowitz
has talked to you,

I'm here to talk
to you about hospice.

What do you mean a hospice?

Has Dr. Pankowitz [stammers]

Shoot.

Eh, shoot, shoot. Um-

You know what?
Don't worry about it.

I'm gonna come back later.
How about that?

[door opens]

[Amy] Hi. There was
a little misunderstanding and,

I'm not gonna sugarcoat it,
I boned this.

Oh, Jesus, Amy!

Molly. Hey.

I'm so sorry you found out
this way.

Hi.

Hi, Molly.

[whispering] Dr. P.

Uh, we got the results
from the lumbar puncture,

and they showed
that the cancer has spread

to the lining of your
spinal cord and your brain.

[Molly exhales]

So you failed?

You said five years.

- I didn't.
- He didn't.

I think we're looking
at a few weeks to a few months.

But we could still do
another round of chemotherapy.

We could do We could do

What the fuck Immunotherapy.

If that's what you want.

I ca I can't do that.

Okay.

- Okay?
- Yeah.

I can come back at better time.

Well, fuck, Amy.

Now we need you.

Goodbye, Jerry. Thank you.

Bye, Molly.

- Bye, Nikki.
- See you around.

Yeah.

Ooh, welcome.

Let me know
if I can help you with anything.

You gals like puzzles? Or books?

I got so many art supplies.

Hey, you can put anything
on the walls too.

Just don't drill into 'em.

[chuckles] Yeah. We didn't
bring a drill to hospice.

Oh, you'd be surprised.

You'd be surprised.

[Sonya clears throat]

Hey.

You have the power here.

You tell Amy what you
wanna feel and when.

What I want to feel.

[softly] Thank you.

[softly] Thank you.

I want a different room.

I wanna change rooms.

Hmm. I think they're all
pretty much the same,

but we can make this good.

We can decorate.

Not that painting.

That painting's screwed on.

I think it's a masterwork,

but why don't you tell me what you think
is worst part of this gorgeous painting?

The fishermen.

No, it's the boat.

[Nikki] Hmm.

Actually, the fish.

Why are there so many fish?

[Nikki] Such an in-your-face,
like, obscene amount of fish.

I think my mom is calling.

My phone's not ringing.

[phone ringing]

Hmm.

[Nikki gasps]

- Is it-
- Oh, my God!

How did you know that?

I think I'm starting
to be magic.

I believe it.

Mom, hi.

I'm in hospice.

[Gail] Okay. Okay.

I, uh I'm here if you need me.

You just tell me
when you need me. I'm nearby.

Where are you?

- [elevator dings]
- I'm in the lobby.

Of the hospital?

- Yes.
- Of this hospital?

I'm in the lobby. How many
times do I have to say it?

Where else was I going to be?

I want you here, Mom.

- Hi, there. Are you-
- Gail. My name is Gail.

Mom!

Mom.

[Molly cries]

Oh, baby girl.

My baby girl.

[Amy] Hey.

That kid over there
was wondering

if he could play with
that puzzle for a little while.

No.

No. Okay. I'll tell him that.

She wants to stick with it.

Is she dying?

No.

But neither are you.

Neither am I,
so let's just be cool.

How about search a word?

[door opens]

Hi, Gail. I'm just

I just need to get my bag.

The nurse is gonna bring a cot
in so I can sleep here.

Oh, good, Gail.

Well, I'll just be in the, um

the waiting room finishing
my puzzle.

- Nikki.
- Yeah.

What you've done for her

[Nikki] Oh

Uh, who's taking care of
your dogs while you're gone?

Scotty, my lover.

Would you Would you like
to finish your puzzle in here?

[Nikki] This is cheese.

This is lemon.

Lemon! No, cheese.

[Gail] This is sun.

We're gonna have to
start another pile for the sun.

I'll do sun.

[Nikki] Okay, good.
And can you also do the mouse?

[Gail] Oh, I'd love
to do the mouse. Thank you.

What happened to your hair? What?

[gasps]

- Wait, is there something
weird about it? - Yeah.

Oh, my God!
What did you do to me?

It wasn't me, man!

It just seems like you might
be coming down with something.

- She always wanted pink hair.
- She wouldn't let me.

[chuckles] It looks dope.

Thank you.

So, as you are filling
out those forms,

who would like to hear about
what happens when you're dying?

That's good enough for me.

Death is not a mystery.
It is not a medical disaster.

It is a bodily process,

like giving birth,

or like going to the bathroom,
or coughing,

having an orgasm.

'Cause your body knows
what to do.

Your body knows how to die!

How cool is that?

Okay. Here's what to expect.

In the last month of your life,
you're gonna stop getting out of bed.

You're gonna to eat and drink
a lot less, and you're gonna sleep a lot more.

Uh, delirium is common.

And some people say
they get this feeling like

time stops being real.

Is that something
that you've been feeling?

- Yes!
- Yes.

Okay. Two to three weeks out,

you're gonna need help
with all daily activities.

But my favorite part
of the dying process is-

Amy!

I know. I've been talked to
about my enthusiasm.

I should dial it back. Sorry.

It doesn't work
for me right now.

Should I keep going?

Yeah. But will you hold my hand?

Your body knows what's coming
and it goes into a state of ketosis,

which decreases hunger and pain

and it increases
the sense of euphoria.

And when you start
active dying-

What's active dying?

[Amy] Oh, active dying
is a sacred time.

At least it used to be,
and it still is in some parts of the world.

It's the moment
when you're very close to death,

and your body
starts shutting down.

How's everyone doing?

I'm looking at you, Gail.

If, uh, Molly wants to hear it,

I can hear it.

You guys, come here.

I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.

[Amy] In active dying,
you won't be fully conscious.

And your jaw muscles will relax.

Your breathing changes.

And there might be this gurgling
at the back of your throat,

caused by something,
unfortunately, called terminal secretions.

[Molly chuckling]

[Amy] I know.

And when you
are very close to death,

your breathing goes into
a cycle of deep slow breaths and long pauses.

And then eventually,
there's a breath out

that is not followed
by a breath in.

And that's it.

- Hey.
- Yeah, yeah.

[whispering] Can you make sure
that my mouth isn't open when I die?

Okay.

Just don't bite me.

Why would I bite you?

I don't know
why I need you to tell me this,

but please say
that you won't bite me.

How long have you had that fear?

I understand that you would not.

It's very intense in here.
I It's an irrational fear!

[Amy]
Okay. And at a certain time,

if you're just
feeling too weak or

you know, too much pain
or you're just done,

you can talk to me about sedating
you, but then you'll be unconscious.

I-I wanna feel everything
for as long as I can.

Okay, good.

Wait, I forgot to tell you
about the rally!

God! Jesus!

The last week of life,

some people experience
what's called the rally.

And it's this just surge
of energy and mental clarity.

So enjoy the rally.

Just know that you're another
step closer to death, okay?

I fucking love your vibe, Amy!

You're nuts, man!

I didn't know
if you were gonna wanna see me.

Honestly,

I just like making you cry.

[both chuckle]

Cool.

You in pain?

Yeah.

I had a lot of stuff that
I wanted to tell you in here,

but I'm blanking on everything.

Um, Beth is pregnant.

Oh, that's so good.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I've been reading
a lot of baby books.

And did you know
for the first few months

they think everything they see
is a part of them?

Isn't that wild?

Like, they don't know the
difference between themselves

and the rest of the world.

Wow. Yeah, I like that.

[Steve] Yeah.

Me too.

[sighs]

[rattling]

[clock ticking]

[ticking continues]

- [waves crashing]
- [gulls squawking]

[bell ringing]

Hey!

[ticking fades]

Hey, Johnny!

The fish are
really biting today, huh?

Time to get all
these goddamn fish!

- Molly.
- Molly.

Molly. Hi.

- [Molly] Oh.
- [penis chittering]

Oh, bye, little fella.

Mom!

Look at this!

Wake up.

- Mom, wake up!
- [chicken clucking]

Wake up!

Molly, I'm here!

- [Gail] Molly.
- Mom.

[baby giggling]

- Good morning, Molly.
- I've got your morning pills

- Good morning, Molly.
- check on your blood pressure.

- your left arm.
- Molly, over here!

[clamoring]

[? jazz music playing]

[baby giggling]

[vocalizes] ? Time isn't real ?

? It's a circle ? [vocalizes]

? You're gonna die pretty soon ?

[dog barking]

[Dr. Pankowitz
vocalizing continues]

[laughter]

[Molly vocalizing continues]

[audio fades]

I've been having these visions.

Like, shit is flying
off the walls and rotating around the room.

Wow!

Like, it felt like I
was unlinking or something.

Like from the world?

Yeah, and also from, like, time?

[Nikki] Hmm.

Like

I think everything exists
at once.

Like, I'm talking to you,

but I'm also talking to every
version of you I've ever known.

And it's all
in the room with me.

Holy shit.

Like the version of me
from 2009 when I got the same hairstyle as you?

Yeah.

Is it scary?

No.

I can see
how much pain she's in.

What should I do?

Well, take a breath.

'Cause it is very common
for people to hold on

when they're waiting
for something to resolve

or they're just concerned
about causing their loved one a lot of pain.

You think she's
worried about you?

[sighs]

No.

Not me.

[Molly] I just wish I could see
into the future.

[sighs] I wish I could see you
when you're old.

Oh, that? I mean,
we're basically almost there.

That's gonna be exactly
whatever you think it's gonna be.

It's like, "Oh, hello. I take
art classes at the museum,

and I have loose mints that
are rolling around in my purse.

And I
My breath smells like crayons,

and my farts sound like
little marbles being dropped on a floor."

[Nikki laughing]

[both laugh]

I wish

I wish you could be there
for that too.

[cries]

Did you call Noah yet
to tell him?

No. I'm

- No.
- [phone wolf whistles]

Oh, hey. [chuckles]

I just matched with someone.

Oh. Whew.
Just in the nick of time.

Oh.

Look at that.

"What are you up to?"

[Nikki laughs]

Um, funny that you asked.

Where have you been all my life?

[Nikki] Yeah.

[gasps]

This is a corner piece. Yes!

And that's for me.

Hey.

Hi.

What's What are you doing here?

Gail called me.

Molly wanted me
to play percussion for her.

Gail said she's been listening
to a lot of classical music.

- [Noah] Hey, man.
- Hey.

- I don't want to put this
- I thought it would be a nice surprise.

on you, but it is actually
insane what is going on here.

She broke into my phone.

Guilty. I used her face.

- Mom.
- While I was sleeping, she did that to me.

Is this real,
or am I hallucinating again? I hope it's real.

And her master plan was
to get in touch with Noah

and then she wanted me
to get back together with him,

so that you would be happy.

I'm not I'm not really sure.

Mom.

You said you would
be respectful of boundaries.

With you, not Nikki.

[sighs] Oh, my God.

She thinks that you're worried
about leaving me alone.

If that's the case, you can
completely not worry about me.

Like, I am gonna be okay,
and I'm cool. Like, I'm good.

Just don't, don't even keep
that in your mind.

I'm not I'm good. I'm okay.

Okay, well,
I hope not that okay.

[Nikki chuckles]

Noah.

I'm sorry that I asked her
to do this with me

right when you were beginning
to make a life together.

Oh, I'm not sorry.

She loves you.

With everything that she has.

I'm not sorry about that.

I think that you should break up
with your girlfriend.

It's my dying wish.

Whoa. Don't break up with your
girlfriend. That's I don't-

You should break up
with your girlfriend

or I'll haunt the shit
out of you in your dreams.

- Why is everyone being insane?
- We broke up.

- [gasps] Oh, Okay.
- [gasps]

[Gail] Oh.

[Noah] Yeah.

- When did you break up?
- Gail

When did you break up?

Um, like a week ago. So

[Nikki] Hmm.

- Yeah, I didn't
That doesn't mean - Oh, no.

I know. Of course not.

I didn't come to hospice today
trying to hook up.

That's not No.

You've got a big instrument.

- Oh, God.
- Yeah. Thanks, Gail.

Um You wanna see
what I can do with it?

- No.
- No.

No.

If you gotta go, you can
You don't have to

- Or you can wait. Okay.
- I want to.

I

I didn't think
that I was capable

of loving someone this much.

But I know I can now.

[Nikki whispering] It's nice.

Yeah, that's how I felt
when Winter was born.

- Hmm.
- It's crazy. It's Yeah.

Yeah.

For me, it's like I'm never
gonna be there at the start of someone's life,

like at the beginning.

But I am gonna
be there at the end.

And I'm just gonna love this
person right up until the end.

That's amazing, Nikki.

Probably go ahead
and love you too.

FYI. [chuckles]

Got it.

[scoffs] Oof.

[phone buzzes]

That's him.

I don't wanna go,
but I got a five-star rating,

and I'm not gonna fuck
with that.

- I understand.
- Yeah, I know.

I know you do.

Walk me out?

[? "Heart and Soul" playing]

? I wasn't in the running,
I wasn't in the race ?

? You move in a way
That I've known before ?

? Now I want your love,
Heart and soul ?

- ? Tired eyes, Tears that dried
? - ? Leaving you ain't easy now ?

? Loving you's the harder part ?

- ? Through the door you go
- ? You never want me For myself ?

? Now I've needed you right
From the very start ?

? Everything you said was
To the point ?

- ? Oh, won't you even try to? ?
- ? Can't you try to? ?

? Give a little bit
Of heart and soul ?

? Give a little bit
Of love to grow ?

? Give a little bit
Of heart and soul ?

? And don't you make me
Beg for more ?

? Give a sign, I need to know ?

? A little bit
Of heart and soul ?

Whoa.

What is going on here?

It's the rally!

We think it's the rally.

? That was the heart
Of the love we shared ?

- ? Do you keep
A secret left untold? ? - ? Is all that I need ?

? Can't give love,
Heart or soul ?

? I used to have a lover
With a Midas touch ?

? I turned to gold
But he turned to dust ?

? Left me for another,
I turned to stone ?

? Now give me love,
Heart and soul ?

- ? Tired eyes,
Tears that dried ? - ? Living in a fantasy ?

? There's never any room
To breathe ?

? Hoping every waking hour ?

? You'll turn around
And say that we can start ?

? Everything you did
Just said it all ?

- ? Oh, won't you even try to? ?
- ? Can't you try to? ?

? Give a little bit
Of heart and soul ?

? Give a little bit
Of love to grow ?

[Sonya grunts]

How's the water, honey?

It's good. [sighs]

I'm gonna be outside.

The labor and delivery nurse
told me you have 20 minutes,

and then a rich person's gonna
come have a baby in here.

Yeah.

[door opens, closes]

[Molly gasps]

I thought it would feel good.

But it just hurts.

[Gail] Oh, honey.

[Molly breathes heavily]

I think I'm ready.

[Nikki sighs]

- [softly] Okay.
- [sighs]

[Gail] Good.

I'll go back to the room

and talk to Amy.

Maybe she'll have
some sedation option.

Mom

I know.

I already know.

Anything you could say to me,

I already know.

[door opens, closes]

My body did a really good job.

Oh

It did so good.

[sighs]

[Amy] Okay, I have
the first dose here for you.

Gonna ease your pain.
It's gonna make your breathing so much easier.

[breathes heavily]

[Molly] Know what?

Honestly,

it's not that fucking serious.

[chuckles]

Let's get this show on the road.

I'm kind of excited.

You know
how many plans and trips

I've had to cancel
because I wasn't feeling well?

And now it's like I get to go
on a trip that's just for me.

- Yeah.
- [Amy] Okay.

I am so proud of you.

And I love you.

And I am so grateful for you.

You are my favorite person
in the whole wide world.

[Molly wheezes]

[wheezes]

[wheezes]

[Molly inhales]

[gurgles]

I'm here.

I'm here and I got you.

[Molly exhales]

Oh, shit.

[whispering]
Thank you for not biting me.

[actor]
Our revels now are ended.

These are actors,

As I foretold you,
were all spirits

And melted in the air,
into thin air:

And, like the baseless fabric
of this vision,

The cloud-capp'd towers,
the gorgeous palaces,

The solemn temples,
the great globe itself,

Shall dissolve

And, like this insubstantial
pageant faded,

Leave not a rack behind.

We are such stuff as dreams
are made of, and our little life

Is rounded with a sleep.

[pedestrian] No! [laughs]

You're terrible. I can't

[chuckles] Tell me

[? "Calling for You" playing]

[Noah] Hey.

Sorry we're late.

Hi, Winter. How's school?

[audio fades out]

? Well, I woke up
This morning without you ?

? Don't ask me how,
But I got through ?

? The floor of this room
I've been pacing ?

? Trying to drown out
The sound my heart is making ?

? It's calling for you ?

? Well, I woke up
This morning without you ?

? Don't ask me how,
But I got through ?

? The floor of this room,
I was pacing ?

? Trying to drown out
The sound my heart was making ?

? It was calling for you ?

? Calling for you ?

? Oh, oh, oh ?

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