Original subtitles

Welcome to Crongton, the greatest place in the entire world.

This place is the best!

That's me, Lemar, AKA Liccle Bit.

That's Rapid.

Guy is quicker than Usain slicked in oil.

That's McKay, best friend.

Too heavy to move quick, and plays dead like a possum if trouble comes.

How you so wham when you sweat so much?

I sweat... the normal... amount...

You look like a binbag of doughnuts with an afro.

LEMAR LAUGHS

Why you generating noise like that

when your hairline is messier than Glastonbury pick-up?

Oh! Shut your stinking chicken lips, man.

How can you even contemplate leaving the house

looking like no-one loves you?

I seen this one bald guy looking at you like,

"Nah, I'd rather have nothing here like me,

"than that nasty peppergrain trim".

RAPID LAUGHS

Why you laughing like that? So black you look like a tired aubergine.

Shut up!

That is fully colourism though. It's true... No me gusta.

SIREN BLARES

What?

RUMBLING Oi, wait. You feel that?

That colour drain that spread like a virus

when South Crong Gs are on crud.

Cross them, your life is done.

In these times, it's best to run.

Or, y'know, possum ting.

This is where everything goes down.

Boys kick ball like they're in the Premier League.

South Crong Gs plot to delete enemies.

And the girls - this is where they dance.

They're so talented.

That's Venetia King, AKA pengest girl in the world.

I could watch her all day.

Not in a creepy way. Supportive ting.

Anyway, now ain't the time.

South Crong is the safest.

North Crong, that's where the madness happens.

Sometimes it bleeds down here.

Wow, they wasn't joking.

My hairline is looking sloppier than McKay's face after yamming fufu.

Hi, Liccle Bit.

That's Juniper.

She's weird as fudge.

The energy feels very obtuse today.

And this is where I rest my head.

METAL CLINKS

THUD

And that's the top G of South Crong, Folly Ranking.

And that chain clank warns everyone he's on smoke.

You don't want the flames, best to hide!

Yo, did you escape?

LEMAR LAUGHS

Lemar! What do you think you're doing?

You are going to wake up the baby, I just put him to sleep, you...

That's my sister, Elaine.

Vex always - especially if you wake up her devil child, Jerome,

spawn of Manjaro, second top G.

JEROME CRIES

Arghhh!

Elaine, your baby a bawl! Hi, Gran.

Hey baby! Dinner soon ready.

That's my gran. She's always cooking. All right?

Can't I just have one moment?

That's my mum. She's always a liccle bit stressed.

Talk to your son, he's the one screaming outside like a witch.

Uno mek too much noise man. Cha!

Gran can be scary, but she's nice to me.

Can't always understand what she says though.

Wah do unno, mi nuh know wah do?

Yes, Lemar?

Can I have some money for a haircut please?

Er, no. We just about have enough money for food.

Why don't you ask your dad?

Or is he still too busy with his new family?

My hairline is attracting comments.

I won't eat for three days if I can just get a haircut... Lemar.

I said no.

Arghhhh, I hate this house!

I swear up, Lemar, if you make more noise in this house!

You...!

Elaine! Leave him alone.

Wan some food? A small plate?

Just a liccle biccle.

Mek sure uno yam up everyting, you hear?

ALL SHOUT

And this is how I find my peace.

Bad boy painter and illustrator.

VENETIA: Hi, Lemar.

ELAINE: Lemar! Why you breathing so loud!?

CACOPHONY OF FAMILY NOISES

I'm sick and tired of everyone telling me what to do!

Just leave me in peace!

MUFFLED SCREAMS

PHONE RINGS MCKAY: Yo, you'll never guess what!

My alarm ain't even gone off yet.

You need breakfast that bad?

Shut your flapping beak - come quick!

One South Crong G got deleted!

What?!

POLICEMAN: I must ask you to step back, thank you very much.

POLICEMAN TAILS OFF

I can't see nothing!

I heard North Crong Gs were off on a deleting spree.

Yeah, well, I heard that 50 man came down

and clashed with swords and axes.

South Crong was winning but North Crong had ninjas,

and them ninjas are sneaky and deleted him from behind.

Jesus says you shouldn't lie.

I ain't lying! My brother saw it all and told me.

Shucks. We need to see!

RAPID: Stand still! MCKAY: Stop moving!

RAPID: What d'ya see? Is it mad?

Folly Ranking!

They deleted the top South Crong G!

My turn!

My knees can't take it!

Whoa. Do you see that?

How can a guy who's just been deleted have a better trim than you?

Don't make me violate you, fam.

Oh, my gosh, I can't even look at you, it's cruel.

Making me feel guilty.

Look, they're bringing CSI.

FORENSIC OFFICER: Excuse me!

Oi, do you think we're too desensitised to violence?

No! Shut up. Agh!

Wait. If Folly Ranking's been deleted,

doesn't that mean a new king's going to be crowned?

Oh, yeah!

Who do you think's going to take over?

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

ALL SHOUT, INDISTINCT CHATTER

ALL CHANT: Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!

HIGH-PITCHED ELECTRONIC SCREECH

Mm, yeah.

Before you go off to your lessons, we have two new students to welcome.

First we have...

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

Hi. OTHERS: Urghhhhhh!

You look like a boy from the hills.

Smell like it too! CLASS LAUGHS

Sick. New nickname.

Next we have Saira.

Hi. I can show you around if you want. Yeah, thanks. OK.

With that, that's everything we have to do this morning.

General rules apply -

don't do anything that's going to upset anyone...

TEACHER'S VOICE FADES

I got something on my face or what?

...if you are lost at any point, remember what the sign is,

you know what's going on.

Let's have a better day than yesterday.

So. Do you like to dance?

Yeah. We do lots of dances and put them all over Bik Bok...

I'm there! Where? What time? I can film it again!

My feedback is the best feedback, everybody says.

Can I come?

Playground after school.

Just make sure your hand ain't shaking like it was last time.

What was that? You was all...

Erm...

Too many energy drinks. Camera will be as steady as a rock.

OK.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

This is not how chicken should be treated.

Have some compassion. What is problem?

This is animal cruelty,

and child endangerment since you're making us eat this nastiness.

Then don't have.

You could miss many a meal and be fine.

OTHERS: Ooh!

At least I know about creaming my skin,

your crow's eyes are outrageous.

If you know about cream,

how come you sound like sandpaper when you walk?

OTHERS: Oh!

Your chicken is so dry, the Sahara is sending you WaterAid!

McKay Tambo! What? Sir? She's serving us nastiness.

Do I look like an orphan? I'm calling MasterChef!

Right. You, and you two -

detention.

But, Sir?!

Maddox, come 'ere, lad!

Five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

And again! OK!

Five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

You're almost as good as me.

I am going to be bigger than Tyla, though.

I don't want to be stuck here my whole life.

First one is free. After that, we talk money.

Juniper got the hook-ups on everything.

So, what do you think of it round here, then?

Yeah, it's nice. And you? I love it. It's just the gangs.

They ruin it. And Folly Ranking getting deleted

is just going to make everything worse!

I'm bored of this conversation.

Ta-ta.

How come no-one stands up to them?

It's not that easy.

They're too powerful.

A community is more powerful.

Could always do a protest or something.

One Life One Crong!

Yeah...

That's actually a really good idea.

One Life One Crong!

You really made me miss the dancing.

Can't miss the dancing. Love the dancing

I'm outta here! WHIZZING

Looks like North Crong.

W-What do we do?

You two South Crong, yeah?

What, you don't have ears in South Crong?

Er... question is unclear.

Are we from South Crong? Or are we South Crong?

Shut up! Fatboy taking you for a bush-tucker!

I'll press the delete button swiftly, you know.

Nah, nah, nah, he never meant it like that.

Is anyone talking to you? Shrimp!

Move from me, with your spoon-head hairline.

OTHERS CHUCKLE

THUDDING AND JINGLING

Folly Ranking!? I thought he was deleted.

You're lucky I don't ramp with Jumbies.

Er... where's Liccle Bit?

We had to split up.

On my everything, that was Folly Ranking.

He's a Jumbie now!

I seen him and he's all see-through.

It was spooky!

What happened? Did he get you?

So, I was running like Black Panther,

and then I jumped over a ten-foot fence like Spider-Man

and then I started wall-running,

and I turned into the Incredible Hulk, smashed into some bins,

and then he was, like, flying at me, all see-through and that, yeah?

And I was like, "Jumbie be gone!"

And then he disappeared.

That's definitely what happened.

My radar is detecting you're a liar.

I ain't lying, fam. I sent him back to the spirit realm!

Of course he did.

JINGLING

HEAVY THUDDING AND JINGLING

This is it!

Tell your sister I love her.

Don't talk about my sister, man.

Oi.

Open your eyes, man.

ALL: Manjaro!

Did you scare away Folly's Jumbie?

Big man ain't 'fraid of no Jumbie.

Hey, don't worry, I'll protect you lot, yeah?

Lemar, do me a favour.

What is it? Don't ask questions, yeah? Mm.

Will you do the favour, yes or no?

NERVOUSLY: Yeah.

Give this to your sister, for her and Jerome.

Take this for yourself.

Yes, I can get a trim!

Nah! Use that to buy something for you and your boys.

Stay out of trouble, yeah? Yeah.

Why'd you take it? Free money!

You lot want something? Yes! Praise black Jesus!

Manjaro's plotting something. Don't get caught in his web.

Do you receive? Mm-hm!

HE TUTS Bribery don't work on me!

You really need to think about what you're doing.

People that upset Manjaro get gone.

You know what? He's not that bad, man.

He's bad enough to scare away Folly Ranking's Jumbie!

Do you know how scary you have to be to scare away a Jumbie?

And what about Mo? What happened to...?

ADULTS: Huh? RECORD SCRATCH

...her?

What happened? Come on, man. Tell us.

Tell us! Tell us! Sh!

I heard Mo moved to Cuba with Tupac.

You don't even know what happened, man.

My bro told me. It's a long story.

Manjaro and Mo used to be bless - used to do everything together.

But then Manjaro went mad, started getting a taste for power.

He started deleting anyone that crossed him.

SCREAMING

One day, he wanted to rob the Prime Minister...

BIG BEN STRIKES ...or the King or something.

Mo said no, and was going to betray Manjaro to MI5.

My bro told me Manjaro got so vex

he turned Mo into stone and crumbled her.

Then Manjaro used the crumbled Mo bits to build walls on his fortress.

I ain't tryna end up like no stone wall to hold up next man's TV.

I heard if you go past Manjaro's castle at night,

you can hear Mo whispering, "Help me."

Anyway, my story's better.

My story's true, though! It's not.

ECHOING: People that upset Manjaro get gone.

Don't get caught in his web. Do you receive?

ROARING

I'm coming, Jerome.

HEARTBEAT THUDS

BABY CRIES

What's that? You see Dad?

It's from Manjaro. It's for you.

What have I told you, hmm? Stay away from him!

He's not that bad. I was scared as well.

No, he is. Understand? He is that bad. Yeah?

And you should be scared of him, actually.

Do not do anything he tells you to do. Yes?!

You're just mad cos he dumped you.

I... You... Oh... Mm... Hmm!

I didn't get dumped, I didn't get dumped, so you can shut up.

Get out of my way!

Fine.

Look at the state of my hair.

ARROW THUDS

ANGELIC HARP TRILL

ARROW THUDS

Yes! I'm that guy!

Two Xs, yeah? That's proper. Oh, nah, she wants you bad.

Probably wants you to kiss her up. You think so?

Two Xs? Definitely. Science, innit?

We really need to talk about your objectification of women, you brute.

Hi, Lemar.

Hi.

BELL RINGS

Oi, I can't have a detention again.

I need to be at this thing later.

Relax, bro. Why would I cause a scene?

Afternoon.

What will it be?

Chicken?

Please, you have to season your chicken!

It's like elbows and knees!

You can't leave it just dry!

Enjoy.

THEY CHANT: One life! One Crong!

One life! One Crong!

People are being deleted over nothing!

One life! One Crong!

She's amazing. You're telling me.

Shouldn't you be doing your homework?

Shouldn't you be making sure people aren't being deleted?

LAUGHTER

I come from Syria.

My father is missing.

What happened to my country is basically one massive gang war.

All for nothing. You cannot let this happen here.

It's up to us to make sure things change!

Who's with me?

Where are we going?

North Crong.

This has to end.

All gangs do is ruin lives.

If it wasn't for them, my cousin would still be alive.

So, you would never do anything speng

like get involved with that stuff, would you?

Me? Course not. Never. Promise.

Never washing this hand again.

Found what you said powerful.

I lost my mum recently.

Sorry about your dad.

We may still find him.

Sorry about your mum.

One life! One Crong! One life! One Crong!

We're here to stop the violence!

One life! One Crong!

Did you hear me?

One life! One Crong!

LOUD BANG

THEY SCREAM

I told you already, I don't want your dirty money!

You are putting your son in danger!

Putting him in danger?

Are you mad?

I AM the danger.

Nobody's going to do nothing, so stop being speng and take it.

BOTH: Go to school!

Don't tell my brother what to do!

Leave.

How are ya, man?

She won't hate me always.

Here.

Done your ting.

Me shout you, yeah?

Go get a trim.

Stay out of trouble.

Yes!

Thanks for backing me last night.

No-one ever believes in me.

I'll always believe in you.

Er...

What?

Let me guess - chicken?

More, please.

Thank you.

ALL: Mmm.

Sweet, savoury...

This is the best chicken I've ever had.

This chicken is the pengest!

CHATTER

Wonderful chicken.

This recipe must never change, OK?

Mm.

CLOCK TICKS

BELL RINGS

SHOUTING

Wow! Yeah?

Wow, we're going to have to look after you now, innit?

Check that out.

Yep! Nothing better than that feeling of satisfaction.

I'm a big man.

Give me the big man price. Cheers!

Whaaaa?!

Man little. Big money, though!

It's not that bad round here, you know.

Yeah, there's dangers, but even the bad ain't that bad.

North Crong ain't scary when you look at it proper.

Like anything, some parts are tatters,

but there's beauty too.

Light and dark. Yin and Yang.

Place has got everything you want.

FLIES BUZZ

Yeah, we're all different, but we're all family.

That's what makes this place special.

But we just accept the weird stuff, good and bad.

That's what makes it ours.

THUMPING AND RATTLING

I ain't scared of no Jumbie.

Folly Ranking, come!

I doh 'fraid of you!

Nice trim, liccle man.

Did you...?

Folly's chain. I swear, I...

It's my chain now.

You need to do me a next favour.

SINISTER LAUGHTER

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