All language subtitles for The Rookie - 5x18 - Double Trouble.WEB.AMZN.en

Previously on "The Rookie"... You're back.

Interviewer:
Another crazy story...

how could I stay away?

This gonna take long?
Because, uh, we got work to do.

Interviewer: I heard
you were happy with how

the last documentary
came out.

Oh, my God.
It was so good, and... and...

[Laughs]
And I got so many compliments.

Oh, that's great.
How about you?

Didn't see it.

[Dog barks]

We found four kilos of black tar
heroin inside of it.

What? Yo, that's crazy.

Lucy: Um...

That is disturbing.

Captions by VIT...

Juicy: [Laughs]
Oh, what is taking so long?

- Do I look okay?
- Lisa: You look hot.

Right?
[Chuckles]

God, I mean,
this lip balm.

It's fire.

So, what are we
doing here?

Girl, you know
what we're doing.

No.
For, like, posperiority.

[Chuckles]
I think it's "posterity."

Mnh-mnh. That don't sound
right, girl.

Okay. So...

[Man speaks indistinctly
over P.A.]

...I'm waiting for Jake
to get out of prison.
Mm-hmm.

He just did six months
on a drug charge,

and I found out today
he's getting released early.

Ooh.
For good behavior?

Girl. Overcrowding.

[Buzzer sounds]

[Screams] Baby!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!
[Laughs]

Mmm!
Mmm.

Baby.
Oh, I missed you.

Yeah.
I missed you, too.

[Chuckles]
Yo, Lisa!

[Screams]

[Laughs] Hey!

How are you doing?

I'm good!
How are you?

Good.
Alright. Alright.

What do you want
to do first?

You know what I want
to do first.

No. After that.

You know, you said
you been thinking in prison.

Are we going straight
or what?

Nah. Screw that.
Let's be bad.

Yes.

[Grunts]

You ready?

[Door opens]

Ahh.
[Shouts indistinctly]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Drop the gun!

♪

Get off me!
Get off me!

This was an assassination.

Baby?
Baby, look out![Horn honks]

Look out! Look out![Metal crunches]

Sergeant.

Sgt. Grey:
Hey. Good morning.

Good morning.
How you been?

Fine. Uh, busy.

[Chuckles]
Yeah?

Yeah. Um...
I-I'm sorry.

I'm still
a little unclear

what your documentary
is about this time.

I mean,
what are the odds

that two cops would end up
arresting two criminals

who look just like them?

Small.
Infinitesimal.

And this is gonna be, like,
a whole movie?

I hope so.

All I can do
is start filming

and see
where it takes me.

Here she is.

Hi.

[Sighs]
I'm a little nervous.

Why? You're an old pro
at this point.

I-I know,

but, you know,
the other documentaries,

they weren't about... me.
[Chuckles]

You're not interviewing me
with Tim this time?

No, I thought
it would be valuable

to hear from you separately.

[Sighing] Okay.

So, how did you first meet
Jake Butler?

A case.

My roommate, Tamara,

bought a car
at a police auction,

only to find drugs
hidden inside.

So, we traced that back to Jake
and arrested him.

Which brings us
to the elephant in the room.

Right. Yeah.
The whole look-alike thing.

He really didn't look
that much like me.

♪

How can you say that?
You look almost identical.

Says you.

Says me.
They could have been twins.

Why do you think
they called him Dim?

Interviewer: Wait. What?[Chuckles]

[Laughs] Oh, yeah.

We nicknamed
Tim's doppelganger "Dim."

Interviewer: That's funny,
but also a little prejudicial,

don't you think?

In what way?

I mean, the fact that you were
denigrating his intelligence

comes to mind.

I mean, if the shoe fits.

Look, when you have been doing
this job as long as I have,

it becomes very clear
that most criminals are...

well, dim.

No comment.

Well, just 'cause
you're too nice.

I-I would say a good 70% of
the people we arrest

couldn't explain
how a revolving door works.

Okay. Maybe 30%.

Yeah. Anyway, the job
is super stressful,

and cops have
a dark sense of humor.

- So a nickname was born.
- Interviewer: Wait.

If you called Jake "Dim,"
what did you call Sava?

Hello?!

- Juicy.
- Juicy.

Juicy.

[Laughs] Juicy.

[Laughs]

They called her..."Juicy."

Interviewer: "They"?

[Sighs] We did.
We... Look, I...

I really tried not to,
but it was a losing battle.

And then you
and Sergeant Bradford

went undercover
as your doppelgangers,

- Dim and Juicy.
- Yes.

So, uh, Tim first,
and then I joined him

on a UC operation in Las Vegas,

where we put some
very bad people behind bars.

And was it around
this time

that you and Tim
became intimate?

N... [Sighs] N-No.

We... We had to pretend
at intimacy

while we were undercover.

But Tim and I were both
in relationships at the time.

We didn't start dating
until after, you know,

when... when we were
both single again.

I want to dial in
on that.

Do we have to?
I...

The odds of you and Tim
coming face-to-face

with Dim and Juicy
are already astronomical,

but for both couples
to hook up...

Interview's over.
I need Chen. Hey.

Hey.
Oh. What's wrong?

Not here.

Uh, excuse me.

Interviewer: Yeah.

♪

Nolan and Celina responded
to a missing-persons call.

It was Sava.
Jake's missing.

What?

♪

Oh.

Uh, my boyfriend, Jake,
he's missing.

I-I-I can't find him.

Hello?! Hello?!

Yeah. No.
Okay. Yeah.

Uh, just slow down.

Start at the beginning.

- Tell us what happened.
- Okay.

Uh, we...
we were in the study.

He was getting a beer,
grabbing me my lobster salad,

and, um,
he just disappeared.

- I don't know where he went.
- Interviewer: Back up.

What were Dim and Juicy doing
at a Beverly Hills mansion?

Have you seen the movie
"Parasite"?

Yeah, after Dim got
out of prison,

he and Juicy started targeting
rich people a-and celebrities,

getting hired to work
at their homes.

Handymen, chefs, nannies.

When you say
"celebrities"...

Lance Bass.

I hired those two
to take care of my house.

Woman:
Is that Lance Bass?

Well, Jake first.

Hey, guys!

Uh, but then
my sensualist quit,

and, uh,
Jake recommended Sava.

Interviewer: I'm sorry.
What's a sensualist?

They optimize the pleasurability
of your surroundings.

Every element, from the tactile
to the olfactory.

I have an incredibly
stressful job,

so I want every aspect
of my home experience to be...

euphoric.

Oh.
[Inhales sharply]

More colorful.

An alien would never dance
like that.

Mm, uh...

The mac and cheese.

Sorry about that.

No problem.

So what happened
after you hired them?

I fired them.
Why?

During the three days
they worked for me,

they had sex on every surface
of my house.

By "every," you mean...

Every even vaguely
flat surface...

floors, beds, couches, dressers,
counters, the diving board.

Even inside the dog crate.

It was only
after Dim and Juicy were gone

that he discovered
they'd also stolen

several expensive watches
and some jewelry.

Interviewer:
- Were they arrested?
- No.

By the time police
questioned them,

the stolen property
was gone.

Likely pawned,
so there wasn't

enough evidence
to press charges.

What we didn't know
at that point was

that Dim and Juicy were already
casing out their next target.

Mm.
The Baudelaires.

Oh, baby,
this place is perfect.

Oh. No.
It's on us.

Ooh. Right there.
That's our in.

[Grunts]
Listen to me.

You go back to that house,
I'll shoot you in the face!

You got it?

Sent the guy packing.
Took his job.

Well, they caught a break

when Jake showed up
to work on day one

and discovered
that the Baudelaire family

had recently lost their nanny.

So Juicy
slid right in.

What?

That's just a really descriptive
way to put that. [Chuckles]

Interviewer:
How long did they work there
before Dim went missing?

Three weeks.

And what can you tell me
about the Baudelaires?

They were made of money.

And... And then he just disappeared.

I-I don't know
what happened to him.

Karen, why is there
a police car outside?

Karen?

I'm sorry,
Mr. Baudelaire, but, um,

Skip is missing.

Uh, sorry. And by Skip, you m...
you mean Jake?

Yes. Yes.

Uh, Skip and I, you know,
we got pet names for each other.

He calls me Sava.
I call him Jake.

It's not...

That's not even...
Okay.

So ha... hang on a second.
I just need...

First of all,
your name is?

Charles Baudelaire.

- And this is your house?
- Yes.

[Laughs]
I know, right?

Oh, Meredith, you have to try
this cleanse.

Like, I have dropped
an entire size.

Yeah, and I have to get all
my clothes tailored now, but...

Oh, my God.
The cops are here.

[Gasps]
Look at this.

Charles:
And this is my wife, Camille.

Karen says
that Skip is missing.

[Gasps] How awful.

Oh, God.
Did you hear that?

Apparently, now our handyman
is missing.

Okay.
I need to unpack all of this.

I think the fastest way
to do it would be

to get a statement
from you first.

Officer Juarez,
will you please

take the Baudelaires
into the living room?

Sure.
Sir, ma'am, do you mind?

I'm super confused,
but okay.

Camille: Hey, Meredith,
I have to go.

But, girl, you have to try
this cleanse.

I'm serious.

This is why it took so long
to call you guys.

Nolan: Because you're doing
something illegal.

No. No.

Jake and I,
we have gone straight.

I am working here
as a nanny.

And he is a handyman.

Like I said, a lot to unpack.
Let's stay on track.

You said Jake
disappeared?

Mm-hmm.

Babe.
Hey!

Hey, what... what time...
what time they back?

Like 3:00.

3:00. Alright.

Remind me to clear that
security footage, alright?

We don't want
another mishap

like that last
Halloween situation.

Yeah.
That's true.

Oh!

I'mma get me
another beer.

You want anything?

Yeah.

Can you see if they got
that lobster salad?

Lobster salad. Yeah.

Yeah, I'll get you
lobster salad.

Lobster salad!
All day.

Lobster salad life.

Ooh!
You love it?

Lobster sa...

Okay, so Dim walked
into the hallway at 2:03 p.m.

But there are no cameras
- in that hallway.
- Right.

So he walked out of this shot
at 2:03.

[Beeps]

And never emerged
from the hallway.

We have hours more footage
of those two rooms,

but Dim never reappears.[Beeping]

Interviewer: That's unusual,
to say the least.

Do you have a theory
on what happened?

No, but Juicy
sure did.

Okay.

Alien abduction.

Oh, yeah.
Later, she added, uh,

"portal
to another dimension."

But she didn't appreciate
your suggestion.

Spontaneous combustion.

Interviewer: Oh. Like
the drummers in Spinal Tap.

Thank you for getting
the reference.

So we opened up
an investigation.

Most likely the explanation
is just that

there was a glitch
in the security system.

Interviewer: Right.
But why wouldn't he tell Juicy

where he was going?

Relationships
are complicated.

Every couple has their secrets,
you know?

No matter how strong
their moral compasses may be.

Mm.

Which is something Jake and Sava
clearly didn't have.

Do Tim and I keep secrets
from each other?

I mean... nothing big.

I-I feel that honesty is
the most important thing

in a relationship.

I'm literally sitting
in this office

because of a secret
she kept.

Despite everything,
it really did seem

like Dim and Juicy
loved each other.

Which made what happened next
so tragic.

7-Lincoln-7.

Code 6 at 911 call location.

Any clarity on the smell
they reported?

Dispatch:
That's a negative, 7-Lincoln-7.

♪

Aaron: I mean,
it's an alley in L.A.

They all smell.
It'd be a miracle if it didn't.

♪

[Coughs, sniffs]

♪

♪

7-Lincoln-7.

Send an R.A. to my location,

and alert Sergeant Grey.

I just found a body,
and it's Sergeant Tim Bradford.

What?

Give me that.

No, it's not.
I'm at the station.

I-It was Dim, obviously.

But, you know, in the moment,
I-I-I thought it was Tim.

And, um...

you know, anybody could have
made that mistake.

He's not wrong.
They looked so much alike.

My mind broke a little
when I saw Dim's body.

Interviewer:
Why were you there?

We responded to Aaron's call
for an ambulance,

but there was nothing
we could do.

Dim was... way dead. Yeah.

Rigor mortis had come and gone,
blowfly eggs had been laid,

but hair slippage
hadn't started yet,

which placed
the time of death

approximately 30 hours
before Aaron found the body.

So around 6:00 p.m.
the day of Jake's disappearance.

Interviewer: Did it bother you,
seeing his body?

What do you mean?

To see a version of yourself
dead in a dumpster,

no matter how much
you protest

that you don't see
the resemblance,

I mean, it had to be
a little disconcerting.

Yeah, a little, I guess.

I have nightmares.

Interviewer:
Do you think Tim does?

No.

You know, he's been doing the
job a lot longer than I have,

so his walls are pretty high.

But, you know,
they have to be.

Otherwise, the constant violence
would just consume you.

Sounds like a part of you
is envious

that he can divorce himself
from feeling a lot more easily.

No, I...

Listen.

Empathy can be painful,
but the alternative,

at least for me,
is unthinkable.

I do this job to help people.

You know, I have to feel
for them.

Do the walls make it hard to be
in a relationship with Tim?

No.

But that's because I know,
behind those walls,

he's just a big softy.

Do I look like a big softy?

No, sir.

So, Officer Thorsen
found the body.

Dim disappeared from the mansion
at 2:03 p.m.

and was killed
four hours later.

So we had new mysteries
to solve.

How did Dim get out
of the house?

Where was he for those
missing four hours?

And how did he end up shot dead
in a dumpster?

Unfortunately, there were
no security cameras

around the alley,

so they had no idea
who dumped the body.

It was at this point
that Detective Lopez and I

were assigned
to the investigation.

[Elevator bell dings]
Miss Wu, thank you
for coming in.

Yeah. Sure.

What's with
all the cameras?

They're filming
a documentary.

I would love to interview you
at some point.

Lopez: Don't worry about them.
Let's go talk.

Uh, you want a water, coffee, anything?

No, thank you.

Okay, this way.

Go. Go.
Get ahead of them.

Did you guys
find anything?

Harper:
Uh, we... we're following up
on a couple of leads,

but, uh, we need your help to
get some clarity on some things.

Do you mind
if we record this?

No.
I... Whatever you need.

How you holding up?

[Sighs] I mean,
I'm not gonna lie.

You know, I'm struggling.

I still can't believe
he's dead.

Look, we know you
and Mr. Butler

were engaged in
a host of illegal activities,

but we're not focused
- on that right now.
- Yeah.

All we care about is catching
the person who killed him.

So, if you are holding back
because you're afraid

that you are gonna
get in trouble, stop.

You need to come clean.

[Knock on door]

Hey.
Sorry to intrude.

- Uh, you got a second?
- Uh, yeah.

Excuse us.

♪

What's up?

They found
another body.

♪

Sgt. Grey: In the days following
Dim's disappearance,

officers were searching
the property, looking for him.

In the confusion
after finding Dim's body,

the call to stop the search
wasn't made.

Interviewer:
Whose body did they find?

♪

Officer:
Holy [bleep]

It's the Baudelaires' nanny,
Holland Po.

What... I thought she was
out of the picture

before Sava
and Jake showed up.

Maybe they popped her
before Dim beat up the handyman.

Well, the nanny's been dead
over a month.

The handyman got beat up
three weeks ago.

Why kill her and then wait
to strong-arm him?

Let's go ask her.

Lopez:
Tell me about Holland Po.

Who's that?

The Baudelaires' nanny
before you.

Oh. I mean,
I-I never met her.

She was gone before we even
knew about the Baudelaires.

Harper:
Can you prove that?

Turns out she could. Yeah.

Dim and Juicy were actually
on vacation in the Caribbean

at the time
of the nanny's murder.

Paid for by the sale
of the property

they stole
from Lance Bass.

Which turned our attention

to the most obvious
suspects...

The Baudelaires.
The Bau...
The Baudelaires.

Sorry. No, you... you...
you can say it. No.

I just felt like
- I had some momentum.
- They'll just cut around me.

I was building it up.
You kind of jumped in there.

That's...
That's all right. Sorry.

Charles:
It's uncanny.

It's freaky is what it is.

You look like twins.

Okay, let's get
back on track here.

You say that Holland did not
show up for work that Tuesday.

And you never heard
from her?

That's right.

No call, no text,
no e-mail, no Snapchat,

no ClipTalk, no...We get it.

And you were never aware
- that she went missing?
- Charles: No.

We were paying her
under the table,

so I guess no one knew
to contact us.

Should we have
our lawyer here?

That's up to you.

But then it becomes
a whole thing.

Yeah. Right now, we are just
trying to get some clarity.

It can't be a coincidence

that two people that work
for you showed up murdered.

You're looking
at the wrong people.

I mean, we were scammed
by Karen and Skip...

Jake and Sava.
Whatever their real names are.

We're the real victims here.
Of course.

But without
another suspect,

you can see why
we are talking to you.

Jesse.

Who's Jesse?

Harper: So, Mr. Long,

you worked for the Baudelaires
as a contractor for three years.

That's right.

Lopez: What exactly
did you do for them?

I'm sorry.
I can't say.

I signed an NDA.
I don't want to get sued.

Getting sued is the least
of your problems right now.

Let's just say
that I handled everything

from repairs
to new construction.

What can you tell me
about Holland Po?

What do you want to know?

I mean...

she worked as a nanny while
I did some repairs on the house.

Nice girl.

Did you two get along?

Yeah.
I mean, I didn't see her much.

You know, you stopped working
for the Baudelaires

less than a week
after she disappeared.

Got a better gig.

We found Holland's body

hidden
in the greenhouse yesterday.

That's...
That's horrible.

Before that, we found
the handyman... murdered.

Leo?

No. Jake. Um...

Skip.

I don't know
who that is.

Look, I'm gonna put
our cards on the table.

We got a warrant for
Holland's cellphone records.

We have dozens
of texts from you,

harassing her,
threatening her.

And the M.E. found your DNA
under her fingernails.

We are gonna arrest you
for murder.

♪

I'm so sorry.

♪

I didn't...
I didn't, uh...

I didn't mean to kill her.
It just...

It all got out of hand.

I understand.

[Sniffles]

But the best way to honor
her memory is to come clean.

Tell us everything
that happened.

Okay.

Including what you did
to Jake.

I told you,
I don't know that guy.

I swear.

You said
- he was murdered?
- Yes.

After he vanished into thin air
at the Baudelaires' mansion.

Did you check the...

Check the what?

Tim: Hey, guys. Wait.
Hold up.

Sgt. Grey:
What do you got?

Let's check it out.

Be careful.

[Sighs]

Hey.
Stay back.

♪

Lopez: Weird tunnel.

♪

Lucy: Wow.

Tim: What is this?

It's dusty.

[Clears throat]

Oof.
[Coughs]

- What is it?
- No way.

Grey.

[Chuckles] Oh!

What is it?

♪

You gotta be kidding me.

♪

Oh, my God.
It looks just like you.

It's called "The Lost Emperor."

Ferdinand had it for a while,

but it went missing
after World War I.

Rumor has it that Hitler had it
for a short stint,

but it got looted
from the Fuehrerbunker.

We believe it depicts

the Haitian Revolution's
Battle of the Vertières,

when the Haitian rebels defeated
the French in November 1803.

The painting is one of
the generals...

Gabart, Capois,

possibly even
the great liberator

Jean-Jacques Dessalines.

Think George Washington.

They say certain traits
are genetic...

leadership, strength,
the ability to inspire people.

I'm not aware of any connection

between Dessalines
and my family,

but, uh, well...

I wouldn't be surprised.

Why are you smiling?

Interviewer:
No reason. I just...

Your reaction to the painting
has been pretty priceless.

[Camera shutter clicks]

Go back to work.

[Police radio chatter]

Lucy: "Harlequin's Head"
by Picasso.

Stalin's Bible.
Charles Manson's jockstrap.

What is all this stuff?

Stolen art, uh, antiques,

and... cursed curiosities.

All bought on the black market
by Charles and Camille.

Yeah. They were all
worth a fortune.

Which would explain
why they didn't tell us
about the hidden vault.

But the most valuable thing
we found in that moment...

Harper:
I got something.

...was the hatch.

♪

Lopez: And that's how Dim got
out of the house.

The ladder led up to
a hidden grate in the bushes.

And from there, it was
a clear path with no cameras

to get off the property.

But one question remained...

Where did Dim go,
and who killed him?

Look alive, guys.
Here she comes.

Thanks for meeting me.

Of course.

And you're okay
with the cameras?

Oh, God. I guess.

Um,
I'm a little confused

as to why you're coming to me
and not the police.

[Sighs]
I don't trust them.

If I showed them this,
they would find some way

to use it against me.

I'm not so sure about that,
but I'm happy to take a look.

What exactly are you
gonna show me?

It's a video.

Two days before Jake
went missing, um...

somebody tried
to kill us.

Okay.

I love you, boo.

Mm.
Love you, baby.

No, b-baby, you gotta say it
to the camera.

Well, I'm driving, baby.

Baby.
Alright.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I love you, baby.

[Both chuckle]

[Metal crunches]
Damn!

[Horn honks]
Who in the hell is that?

Oh. Baby.
Baby, watch out.

Watch out![Metal crunches]

God!

[Horn honks]
Oh!

[Thudding]

[Both breathing heavily]

Oh, God.

Baby.
Yeah.

We gots to go. Okay.

Baby,
we got to go now!

Okay! Okay! Okay!
[Groans]

They didn't report it.
They just abandoned it.

Well, we tracked down
the abandoned car,

but the paint scrapings

that we took
from the impact point

showed the most common brand
of automotive paint.

Which means we had added
another mystery to the case...

Who was the driver?

But that question
took a back seat.

Oh,
because the text came.

You have to show this
to the police.

[Cellphone chimes]

Geez.

Stay with her.

A text was sent from an unknown
number to Dim and Juicy,

demanding the item
that had been promised.

Interviewer: And the text
went on to threaten violence

if Juicy didn't
turn the item over.

It seemed likely that whomever
sent that text killed Dim.

So it was time for me
to go undercover.

♪

You had no idea
what you were walking into.

That's working undercover.

Doesn't that scare you,
walking in by yourself?

Th...
But I wasn't by myself.

UC is in play.

♪

♪

[Tires screech]

♪

Heads up.
This could be our guy.

♪

[Camera shutter clicking]

♪

♪

♪

Do you have it?

Nope.

[Sighs]
What do you mean, no?

Whatever you were into
with Jake,

he didn't share it
with me.

I got no idea who you are
or what you want.

And now
that Jake is dead...

[Camera shutter clicks]

That's not my problem.

I need
what he promised...

...or you're gonna learn
what battery acid tastes like.

Is that what you said to Jake
before you killed him?

Enough.
You're coming with me.

Gun.
Move in.

[Police radio chatter]

Don't move.

- Copy that! Moving in!
- Get on the ground!

Drop the gun!

Get on the ground
right now!

- Police! Don't move!
- Stay where you are!

Man: I got him on this side![Indistinct shouting]

- Don't move!
- Stay where you are!

- Everybody freeze! Weapons down!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Drop your weapon!
- Multiple targets!

- Right there!
- Drop the gun!

Whoa, whoa! Hey!
LAPD!

Who the hell
are you guys?

CIA.

Interviewer: Thanks for taking
the time to speak with me.

My pleasure.

The agency is committed to
transparency wherever possible.

Great. So, what can you tell me
about Emir Sadik?

Nothing.

Come on.

It's common knowledge that
Mr. Sadik is a Turkish national

who works
for Meyer Balik,

an infamous international
arms dealer.

I'm not prepared
to speak on that. Okay.

Can you explain the connection
to Jake Butler?

I'm not prepared
to speak on that.

How about the mystery item that
Emir was so intent on getting

from Mr. Butler
and Ms. Wu?

I'm not prepared
to speak on that.

Then why did you agree
to the interview?

The agency is committed to
transparency wherever possible.

It turns out Dim
and that arms dealer...

Meyer Balik?

Yeah.
That's the guy.

Dim and Meyer
were distant cousins.

I found out through
a back-channel source at the DOD

that the, uh... the agency
had been surveilling Emir

for... for months now,
while he and Meyer were working

on a massive arms deal
for the Iranians.

But during
the deal-making process,

Emir went to Barbados.

Where he met with Dim.

But not Juicy?

That's what she says.

Interviewer:
How you holding up?

I'm heartbroken.

I thought I knew him.

I thought he loved me.

To find out he had this whole
other life, I mean...

[Chuckles]

I've been drunk
the whole week.

So you had no idea
that the Baudelaires

weren't just
a random target?

Jake just said
they were crazy rich

and that we'd be able
to party for a year

off of what we'd get
out of their house.

Well, what we now know

is that Emir pointed Jake
at the Baudelaires.

But it wasn't connected
to the Iranian arms deal

that the CIA was
so keen to stop.

It turns out, among
the stolen antiquities

in the Baudelaires' vault
was a very special rifle.

The miquelet,
one of the earliest

and most sturdy flintlocks
ever made.

And the most famous miquelet
belonged to the Turkish sultan

Osman II,
or Osman the Young.

I-I like to read.

You sure do.[Both chuckle]

But h-history lesson aside,

as a proud Turk and a
professional weapon aficionado,

Meyer Balik had been hunting for
the sultan's rifle for decades.

And somehow, he discovered
that the Baudelaires had it.

So he called up Cousin Jake

and set up a meeting
with Emir in Barbados.

♪

I was probably getting a massage
at the time or a facial...

or a seaweed wrap.

Or body scrub.
[Chuckles]

I spent most of that trip
just getting pampered, you know?

Yeah, once we learned
about the rifle's existence,

we quickly found the crate
it had been stored in.

[Camera shutter clicks]

♪

But the rifle was gone, which
meant that Dim had taken it,

uh, before he had snuck out
of the Baudelaires' house.

Interviewer: But he hadn't
- delivered it to Emir.
- No.

Emir hadn't even landed
in the U.S.

by the time Dim was killed.

Which means Dim took it
somewhere else.

Yeah.
Question was... Where?

To who... whom?

Yeah.
And what happened to it?

Interviewer:
You were about to find all that
out, though, weren't you?

Yes.

In the most
terrifying way.

Man: Drop the gun![Gunshot]

Baby?
Baby, look out![Horn honks]

Look out![Metal crunches]

Oh!
[Horn honks]

Lucy: With Emir out
of the picture as a suspect,

we went back
to the car crash.

Somebody tried to run
Jake and Sava off the road

two days before Jake was killed.

If it wasn't Emir, who was it?

Well, we had previously

gotten warrants
for Jake's phone records,

but Sava told us

that, uh, Jake always carried
a burner phone with him,

and we didn't
have that number.

Interviewer:
Until the incident with Emir.

Exactly.

Even though the CIA kept us
from interrogating Emir,

they did search
Emir's cellphone records

and came up with
an anonymous number

that we ultimately
tracked back to Dim.

Let's just say that there were
several text messages

sent to and from that phone
that were very... revealing.

I...Interviewer:
What do you mean?

Jake was clearly cheating
on Sava,

and he was
the Shakespeare of Sexting.

It was [chuckles]

Would you read some
of those texts for me?

♪

[Chuckles]

Yeah. You... Uh, no.
I can't. I'm sorry.

I can't say any of this
on camera.

My nana is gonna watch this.

Oh.
You can...
Yeah. Sorry.

[Chuckles]

Can you read some
of these texts to me?

Are you kidding me?
Put that away.

No. You couldn't get Lucy
to read them.

What makes you think
I'm gonna read 'em?

I'm serious. Okay.

- I'm not reading them.
- Okay.

Interviewer: Would you mind
reading some of these texts

out loud?

Um...

[Chuckles]
I can't say that.

I'm not saying that.

I have no idea
what that even means.

Let me just find some
PG content for you.

Oh.
Here we go.

"Stop calling.
I told you it's over."

The breakup text.

It was the, uh,
proverbial smoking gun.

The text that would determine
Dim's fate.

And just for clarity... who was
Dim sending these texts to?

Who was he having
an affair with?

Uh, Lisa...
Lisa Miller.

Li... Miller?
Lisa Miller?

That's Juicy's BFF.

Lisa:
So, what are we doing here?

Girl, you know
what we're doing.

No.

For, like, posperiority.

[Chuckles]
I think it's "posterity."

Mnh-mnh.

That don't sound right, girl.

Okay. So...

I'm waiting for Jake
to get out of prison.
Mm-hmm.

He just did six months
on a drug charge,

and I found out today
he's getting released early.

Ooh.
For good behavior?

Girl. Overcrowding.

[Buzzer sounds]

[Laughs]

[Screams] Baby!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!
[Laughs]

Mmm!
Mmm.

Baby.
Oh, I missed you.

Yeah.
I missed you, too.

[Chuckles]
Yo, Lisa!

[Lisa screams]

[Laughs] Hey!

At that point, it all started
coming together.

Lisa couldn't handle the fact

that Jake was breaking up
with her,

so she tried to run them
off the road.

- Look out!
- And when that failed,

she called up Jake,
begged for his forgiveness,

and asked him to meet her.

Yeah, when he showed up,

she shot him
with a .22-caliber pistol,

then dumped his body
in the dumpster.

So, we went to arrest her.

I think that's her.

♪

[Siren wailing]

Nolan: Police!
Show me your hands!

Man: Move in on her!
Move in!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Drop the gun!

Down!
[Gunshot]

Man:
Shots fired! Shots fired!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Drop the gun!

- Celina: Oh, John!
- Interviewer: Get in there.

[Indistinct shouting]

Officer down.

We need an R.A...
Flower and Lincoln.

John.

[Groaning]

Oh, my God.
I'm just...

I'm... Roll me back.
Roll me back.

[Groans]

Let me catch my breath.

I'm good.

The thing
about old guns is

that they're
very imprecise weapons,

and the muzzle velocity
was significantly less

than even the most modern,
smallest handgun.

Translation... There is no way
that the miquelet bullet

could have punched a hole
in Nolan's bulletproof vest.

He's just lucky she didn't
shoot him in the face.

Uh, not getting shot in
the face... that's a daily goal.

Yeah, it's true.

The first thing
he taught me was

don't get
shot in the face.

All things considered, though,
I do... I got very lucky.

Yeah. It could have been
so much worse.

Yeah. Like it was
for Sergeant Grey.

He's probably not gonna love
that you said...

[Camera shutter clicking]
This painting captures
a moment in world history

where freedom won out
over oppression,

which is why its recovery
is so important.

It is my honor to present
"The Lost Emperor."

[Camera shutters clicking]

[Applause][Screaming]

Climate change!

- No!
- Marcella: Oh, my God!

No!

You bastard!

How could you?!

You son of a [bleep]

Shame on you!

Shame on you!

Attacker: Let me go!

Get off me!

Polar bears are people, too!

This was an assassination.

I'm sorry.
I need a minute.

I just...

[Sighs, sniffles]

At least I still have this.

[Knock on door]

Sorry, Sergeant.
You're needed in the bullpen.

What the hell is this about?

[Clears throat]

[Sighs]

♪

What do we have here?

Well, we all know how much
you love that painting.

Unfortunately, it was
completely destroyed.

So, we had
another painting made.

♪

It reflects the way
that we see you.

With my shirt off?

[Chuckles]
As a dragon slayer.

Um...

I love it.
I love it.

Yay!

[Applause]

Well, uh, so Lisa was going
to prison

for the murder of Jake and
the attempted murder of Nolan.

But we were left
with the question

of what to do with Juicy.

At the end of the day, it didn't
make sense to charge her.

We could prove
Dim's involvement,

but all we really had
on Juicy was conspiracy.

D.A.'s office debated
for a while,

but ultimately,
we decided to cut her loose.

Interviewer:
How did you feel about that?

On the whole...

good.

Whatever her faults, Juicy...

Sava had suffered
a great tragedy...

betrayal, murder.

I'm hopeful that she'll take
this opportunity

to learn
from the experience, you know,

to change.

Of course she said that.

Listen.
People never change, okay?

Sava is gonna end up in cuffs,
one way or another.

♪ Nobody listened

♪ So she screamed out loud

♪ She broke the dishes

You make good money
doing documentaries?

Interviewer: I do okay.

You do better than okay.

I looked you up.

You're not the only curious
one around here.

♪ 'Cause somebody listened

Award-winning filmmaker.

Vacation home
on the Amalfi Coast.

I mean...

Woman: Karen!
What?

Uh, [chuckles]
you gotta go.

♪ Never runs from a fight

You're "Parasiting"
again?

Girl's gotta eat. Uh...

Give him my number.
Give him my number.

You call me, okay?

Coming, Mrs. Hotchkins!

Interviewer:
Does it shake you at all...

the fact that
your doppelgangers' relationship

was so dysfunctional?

I... That's an unfair characterization.

It wasn't dysfunctional.

I mean, Jake cheated
with Sava's best friend

after trying to cut her
out of a big money deal.

Fair enough. But that doesn't
change the question.

What are you implying?

That... That we might suffer
the same fate

because of a couple
of people

who looked a tiny bit like us
that were misfits?

I think it's
a reasonable question.

You're working
too hard.

Okay, l...

I get it, alright?

You're invested
in a certain answer

because it makes
for a better documentary.

But we are not
Jake and Sava, okay?

I mean, they...
they are criminals

whose lives
were based on deceit.

O-Of course that duplicity
infected their relationship.

But...

we are in a very
different place.

Mm-hmm.

And what place is that?

If you don't know, then you
haven't been paying attention.

I mean...
[Scoffs]

Okay. So, a place
of honesty, respect, love.

Yeah. I mean, those are...
those are good words. Yeah.

But do those qualities guarantee

that your relationship will
succeed where theirs failed?

Oh, w...
Well, you...Okay, you know what?

Of... Of course not.

But at this moment,
I mean,

Tim and I are in
a really beautiful place.

And that's all
that matters.

Yeah.

Look, the thing you learn early
on as police officers

is that your future
is never certain.

Yeah. Anything can happen
to anyone at any time.

Especially if they overstay
their welcome.

♪

[Chuckles]

Uh... Oh.
Oh, does that mean...

Yeah, we're...
Yeah. We're done.

Sorry.
That's right.

Sorry, guys.
[Chuckles]

Do you want to get sushi?

Oh, that's perfect.

Okay.
Listen.

We're gonna be back
in an hour.

Place better be spotless.

[Chuckling]
Oh, God.

Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Yeah. Thank you.

Okay.
Let's pack it up.

You don't think he's
really mad at me, do you?

♪

♪

♪