All language subtitles for Sorrowful.Jones.1949.1080p.BluRay.x264-YTS.en

WINCHELL: This is Walter Winchell
speaking to you from Broadway,

the big street in the big town.

Take a good look at it.

Just a lot of cold,
impersonal buildings,

hustling, impersonal crowds and
flashing, impersonal lights.

But watch those lights.

Every time one flashes on or off,
somebody makes a million dollars,

or loses a million dollars
or begs for a dime,

or breaks his heart.

Sure, just a big street
in the big town,

but with a personality, with an impact,

like a beautiful woman you see
once for a few seconds,

and then can never forget.

That's the way Damon Runyon
felt about this street.

Lindy's restaurant
was his observation tower.

Here he used to meet with
his colorful crew of friends.

He made small talk with celebrities
and big talk with busboys,

and he sat drinking coffee and
trading stories far into the night.

And then, when the morning fog

would start to roll in across the
East River, the city would awaken.

The sun and the early risers would start
to whip up a fresh batch of daylight,

and as the rest of the town
turned out to pound the pavements,

Damon Runyon turned in
to pound his typewriter,

to write about the guys and
dolls he met on Broadway,

like Harry the Horse,
Dancing Dan, Apple Annie,

or, for instance,
take the Broadway bookie,

who made his living
accepting bets on horse races.

Hey, that's my penny!

Identify it.

It's got a picture of Abraham Lincoln.

You kids with college educations.

WINCHELL: This is Sorrowful
Jones, who fell in love

with money at the age of six,

and they've been
going steady ever since.

Hiya, Blinky. Hiya, Sorrowful.

Who do you like today?

Dreamy Joe in the second at Delington.

Here. Two bucks to win.

You got it.

The pencil, Sorrowful.
That ain't for free.

You've been eating carrots again.

Hi, men. BOTH: Hello, Sorrowful.

Who do you like today?

(SPEAKING CANTONESE)

Seven to five.

(SPEAKING CANTONESE)

Ten to one.

Ngo mai... Five dollar,
Dreamy Joe to win.

Dreamy Joe. You got it.

Next time, put a little
starch in these, will ya?

(ALL SPEAKING CANTONESE)

ALL: Which means, "Weather
clear, track fast." I'll be back.

Hello, Sorrowful.
What goes today, Happy?

I kind of like Sudden
Death in the last race.

- Hunch bet?
- But I'll bet two on Dreamy Joe to win.

Two on Dreamy Joe.
Everybody wants Dreamy Joe.

Must be a hot tip.
I'll be seeing you.

What am I saying?

Anything hot today, Nick?

I got a fin riding on Dreamy Joe.

A fin? Hmm. Who'd you roll?

(HUMMING)

Hey, get these things sharpened.

They're ruining all my shirts.

WINCHELL: When Sorrowful
Jones enters this doorway,

he enters another world.

A world of wise money and dumb animals,

where your bankroll can go faster
than any horse in any race.

This is Sorrowful's place of business.

It's called a horse room,

and if the police knew
about it they'd close it,

because betting on horses
is against the law,

(CHUCKLING)
except at racetracks.

Where you been? Out pickin'
up a load of the green stuff.

What a beautiful color.

One hundred and twenty-six
bucks, and almost all of it

on a dog who'd make better
time if the jockey carried him.

Such as? Such as Dreamy
Joe in the second.

Boss, the second race is over.

Dreamy Joe won. How do you feel?

Well, I had a headache
when I got up this morning,

but after pickin' up
all this easy dough, I...

Don't tell me.

My headache's back.

(CHUCKLES) Dreamy Joe.

Twenty, 40, 55.

Wouldn't you like to bet
it all on the next race?

Come on, come on. Shell out.

That kind of money will never
bring you any happiness.

Me either.

Hey, Sorrowful.

Hey, don't bother him.
He's busy givin' blood.

I'll bother him.

Big Steve would like you should

come over to his cafe.

Right away. Pay off.

Hey, doesn't Big Steve own Dreamy Joe?

On which I have $10 riding
with you at 11 to one.

What'd he do, tip everybody
on the street except me?

When Big Steve wants to see you,

it's very healthy to pay him a call.

How do you like that Big
Steve and his Dreamy Joe?

Takes me over like I
was a sucker, a tourist.

He knew Dreamy Joe was gonna win.

It was a boat race, a big frame.

They oughta bar guys
like that from racin'.

And now he wants to see me.

Well, if he wants to see
me, let him come over here.

I'm not afraid of...

You're so right.

You better date the dummy, Sorrowful.
She doesn't have to eat.

Well!

Well, it doesn't cost
a cent to say "Hello."

Hello, Gladys O'Neill.

You know, it's been almost four
years since I saw you, Sorrowful,

but I recognize the suit.

Well, it's been lucky
for me, up to now.

Some people seem to forget what

some people used to
spend on some people.

"Spend"? Where did you
ever learn that word?

I always figured you
invented the Dutch treat.

Now wait a minute.

I'd like to have a
nickel for every bottle

of champagne I bought you.

I was more naive then. I
believed you could make champagne

by mixing ginger ale
and rubbing alcohol.

It was not rubbing alcohol.

Look at those beautiful violets.

Twenty-five cents
a bunch to you, mister.

Come on. They've got
dangerous thorns.

Yeah, same old Sorrowful.

You got me wrong.
I'm a big man now.

Since we folded in the Gaieties, I've
been going places in show business.

I hear it's win, place
and show business.

So I'm hustlin' bets. It's a living.
Practically honest.

Well, I have to make
a living too, and this is it.

Hey. Nice picture.
Beautiful job of retouching.

I've been here four months.
I wondered why

you didn't drop by,
just for old times' sake.

Well, I understood you were
goin' with Big Steve,

and I happen to know Big Steve.

Oh.

Well, Steve doesn't like me
to have other boyfriends,

but I could tell him you were my aunt.

Lookee here. Lookee here!

(PIANO PLAYING)

Hey.

Look, fun is fun, but Big
Steve can get awful nasty.

Yeah, well, while I'm here,
I thought I'd drop in and see him.

You don't think I'm afraid
of Big Steve, do you?

Well, some people are.

Not me, kid.
I can handle my fists.

Yes, I remember. While you
were handling your fists,

somebody else was handling your head.

But you've never heard
my courage questioned.

I never heard it mentioned.

Keep your baby blues on me.
I'm a buzz saw.

Big Steve in there?
MAN: Come in.

Hiya, fellas.

- Don't get up.
- Sit down.

Well, every bookmaker in
town is here, except Whitey.

By the way, Steve, whatever
happened to Whitey?

I haven't seen Whitey since the two of
you had the run in, in the back of...

Anybody takin' up a
collection for Mrs. Whitey?

Sit down.

Okay, Steve, we're all here.
What's on your mind?

I told a few small fry
about Dreamy Joe today.

Guess you guys went
for a bundle on him, huh?

Yeah. I got bit.

I was scarred.

Next week I'm giving the word
to some important money.

What you trying to do?
Run us out of town?

Just a minute. Let me finish.

Next time he runs,
Dreamy Joe's gonna lose.

That's different.

But I want a thousand bucks
apiece from you guys,

just for making him lose.

Thousand bucks?
What do you need money for?

Ran into some bad dice
last night. Need cash.

Anyhow, what are you bellyachin' about?

I pick up a few grand,
you guys make a fortune.

Now, wait a minute, Steve.

How do we know you won't
collect a grand from each of us

and then turn right around and...

And what, Sorrowful?

Yeah, and what, Sorrowful?

Well, you turn around and around,

and a fella can get dizzy that way.

You know, Sorrowful,
you're a very suspicious man.

Hey, Doc, come here a minute.

Explain it to 'em.

Dreamy Joe wins only when I give
him one of these speedballs.

It won't show up in the test.

Won't show up anyplace,
except his heart.

One more speedball
and he'll win the race,

but an hour later, he'll be dead.

We could give him a
speedball now and he'd win,

but I'm waiting till I've got
a big bankroll to bet on him.

So for now I'll just take
a grand apiece,

and the next time out,
Dreamy Joe loses.

That fair enough?

All right, boys.

Come up with a grand apiece.
Sounds like a good deal.

It's okay for me.

Count me in.

I'll go for that.

Yeah.

Oh. You forgot to pay your fare.

I don't handle that kind of money.

I'm in a photograph finish
with my landlady right now.

I hear different. I hear
tell you're very thrifty.

No, no, I'm just...
Just a little careful.

I have a little here.

Here's 115.
I'll owe you the rest.

The 885 I suppose we'll have
to get the hard way, huh?

What? No, I'm good. Where you goin'?
Into the vault.

Oh! I didn't know
I had it on. I...

I might have a little here.
It's my mad money.

There's a G.

(SINGING)

(SLAPPING)

And don't let it happen again.
Next time I'll lose my temper.

Hey, Sorrowful. Hmm?

You're bleeding.

Drop in again, but come before six.

That's when the prices change.

Pick it up, Joe.

(PIANO PLAYING)

(SINGING)

You're off-key, like always.

- Hi, Eddie.
- Hiya, Sorrowful.

Patty. Hi, Sorrowful.

(SNEEZING)

Good evening, Miss Noonan.
So, you're loaded with germs.

It must be drafty on
that runway, huh? Yeah.

Say, the other day when Dreamy
Joe won, I didn't get on him.

Next time out, I want
five across the board.

Oh, wonderful animal, Dreamy Joe.

Great bloodlines.
Like investing in a bank.

You better make it ten across.
Ah, that's too much for me.

Ah! I'll give you the fifteen.
Mmm-hmm.

Whoops! The law.

Oh, good evening, Mr. Reardon.

I presume you know Miss
Agnes "Happy Hips" Noonan.

Yes, we're old paddy wagon friends.

Mr. Reardon
is one of the finest.

In the wagon, he always sees
that us ladies have the seats.

One of these nights, I'll walk in
on you takin' a bet, Sorrowful.

Sir, are you insinuating that I would

break the law by
takin' wagers on the races?

There is such a rumor around Broadway.

Yeah, well, I'm innocent. I'll lay you
ten to one I never took a bet in my life.

Nice odds.

You couldn't ask for a
nicer man to arrest you.

I give him all my business.

Now, what was that again?
Five across? Yeah.

(WHISTLING)

Well, what does it look like?
Dreamy Joe can't lose.

Big Steve is bettin' $10,000 to win.

Steve gave me the tip himself.

That's good enough for me.

Dreamy Joe, on the nose.

Five on Dreamy Joe to win.

Five to win on Green Demon.

House rules. No bets on credit.

Take your marker some place else.
Where's Sorrowful?

(DOOR BUZZES)

Sorrowful, I gotta
get down on Green Demon.

Will you take my marker for five?

Green Demon, eh? Jack, I
was just down the poorhouse.

Conditions are terrible down there.

Bookmakers are sleeping three in a bed.

You know what they're using
for blankets? Markers.

Don't get discouraged. Come back
when you got a little money.

Always happy to see you.

Ten across on Dreamy Joe.

How's the action?

Everybody is tossing in on Dreamy Joe.

We better lay some off at the track.

Let's gamble. Book it all.

Last time you gambled, you
bet Tuesday came after Monday

and you spent half an hour
checkin' the calendar first.

I had to. I gave odds.

Twenty dollars on Dreamy Joe to win.

Look, mister, we don't
take markers from

three kinds of people,
men, women and children.

But I've already dropped
my whole week's salary.

Get this dyed green and come back.

But I might not be
in time for the race.

We'll tell the horses to slow down.

Next.

Hey.

Hey, somebody heist the kid up to
the counter so she can make her bet.

Oh, this... Yeah.
This is my little girl.

Aketay the idkay omehay.

But I don't wanna go home!

Hey, you're pretty smart.

I'm four years old
and I can count to ten.

Yeah, that's big talk.
Let's see you back it up.

Gimme something to count.

She's over four. Out. Out.

Look, Mr. Jones,
I've got a watch here, sir,

that I paid over a hundred dollars for.

See? When you open it up,
it plays Yankee Doodle.

Yeah, well, horses can't sing,

and they don't know what time it is.

Take the kid home.

Let's go, Daddy. I remember
him in that book you read.

He's the monster.

Hey, watch your language.

I'm the boss here.
I run this joint.

I got plenty of friends
around on my side.

(STAMMERING) I'm sorry.

Yeah, well, what's...

Here. Here's a penny.

Even licorice costs two pennies.

Martha Jane!

Kid's right.

Here. There's a deuce.
Go stuff yourself.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Uh, Mr. Jones.

I've got a friend, sir, down the
street that'll let me have the 20.

Hurry down. If you could
let me place my bet now,

I'll leave Martha Jane here
with you till I get back.

You see, Dreamy Joe's my
only chance to get even.

Oh, you wanna bet on Dreamy Joe.
Yeah.

Well.

That's a very solid filly.
Should be good for 20 bucks easy.

Yeah, she oughta
melt down for that much.

Take his marker.
Thank you, Mr. Jones.

Martha Jane, you be
a good little girl now.

Hey.

What happened?
Did he pull a gun on ya?

Don't you understand? He wants to bet
on Dreamy Joe. He can't possibly win.

It's a frame-up, a fix.

Oh. So it's what horseplayers
and other gentlemen of the turf

refer to as a boat race. Shh.

Of course it's a boat race, and
Dreamy Joe is on the slowest boat.

SORROWFUL: His jockey
won't even be rowing.

(WHISTLING)

Take anything anybody
wants to bet on Dreamy Joe,

including inlays,
marbles and moose heads.

(WHISTLING)

Uh-oh.

Put that down.

- Yes, sir.
- You wanna give the joint a bad name?

(GIGGLES)

Say, is Big Steve in the office?

Say, pardon me.
Is Big Steve in his office?

Eh? Big Steve! He's
a friend of mine!

He gave me a tip on a race. Huh?

Well, if he's not in the office,
maybe I can use the phone.

Oh, never mind.
I haven't got much time.

(RINGING)

Yeah?

Steve, that jockey oughta be fixed.

He might accidentally
make Dreamy Joe win.

Do you hear me, Steve?

Steve, you sound awfully strange.

(STAMMERING) I got a sort of a cold.

Hey, who is this?

Hello? Hello?

Oh, Steve, I came over to see ya.

Wanted to borrow 20 bucks.

The door was open
and I used your telephone.

Had to make a phone call.

I heard the phone ring.

Well, I... I called
a friend of mine.

I had him call me right back.

I see.

What's the number of this phone?

Oh, the number?

I don't know. I guess I forgot.

I never could remember numbers.

Shut the door.

ORVILLE: Steve, you can't get
away with fixing that race!

(GLASS BREAKING) I'm getting out of here.
I'm going to the police.

(THUMPING)

(LOUD THUD)

ANNOUNCER: You're now seeing the
eighth race at Delington Park

through the television cameras.

The horses are parading in front of the
grandstand on their way to the post.

Over a million dollars has
been wagered on this...

Where are you going?

- Goin' down there. Why?
- Can I get down and go with you?

Okay. It's better
than chaining you.

King Leo opened at 50 to one.
Come on.

Green Demon at seven to one. Next
is Half Sister at ten to one.

Post position number four goes to...
Don't wrinkle the suit.

Big play on Dreamy Joe, Sorrowful?

Yeah, I may get cleaned out here.

That horse had some terrific works.

It's a beautiful day
and the track is dry and fast.

When do they put the water on it?

Water? What are you
talkin' about?

Well, you said they were
gonna have a boat race.

"The New York Flash," Eddie
Cole, is riding Green Demon.

Oh, she heard about
the college boat race.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) I gave
eight to five on Princeton.

- It's my school, you know.
- Buddy Adler up on Fearless Champ.

Ah...
I Danny Dale on Dreamy Joe...

Oh, she's cute. Isn't she cute?

And Buster Brewer on No Ante.

The horses have now reached the post.

But where are the boats?

They're leading them
into the starting gate.

I wish you were on
one of 'em. Here.

Have some chewing gum, huh?
You like gum?

Fill yourself. Take this
box over to Regret, huh?

I'd rather watch the boat race, please.

Now, go ahead.
Regret'll show you how to

blow those great big beautiful bubbles

with that great big mouth of yours.

Go ahead, honey. Go ahead, doll.
Go ahead.

They're all in line. The flag is up.
Wait a minute.

Half Sister's kicking up in the gate.
Now they've got her quieted down.

The crowd is tense. They're all in
line, and they're off and running!

Fearless Champ is taking the lead.

Half Sister is second, King Leo
is third and Bingo is fourth.

It's Half Sister by a head.
Fearless Champ is second by a head.

Bingo is third by a length
and Dreamy Joe is far back.

Come on, Dreamy Joe!

( INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

Half Sister is second now by a length.

Bingo's coming up on the inside
and Dreamy Joe is trailing.

It's Half Sister showing in front by a head.
Fearless Champ second by two lengths.

King Leo is third. It's Fearless
Champ in front by a half.

Half Sister is second by a head.
King Leo third by a length.

And here comes Dreamy Joe making
a bold move on the outside!

Are you crazy?
Back, Dreamy Joe, back.

Dreamy Joe is challenging
and now going into the lead.

It's Dreamy Joe, Fearless Champ...

Dreamy Joe, don't you remember?
Not today.

Green Demon is fourth.
Dreamy Joe is moving fast.

He's in front by a half a length.

Dreamy Joe is drawing clear.

It's Dreamy Joe by a length.

Fearless Champ is second by two.

And Green Demon moving up
on the outside is third.

It's Dreamy Joe out in front
and jockey Dale is looking back.

What's the crook trying to do, win?

Fearless Champ is second,
Green Demon is third

and Bingo, on the rail, is fourth.

It's Dreamy Joe, Green Demon and Fearless
Champ. It's going to be a driving finish.

They're coming down to the wire.
It's Dreamy Joe,

Green Demon, Fearless Champ and Bingo.

And flashing across the finish line,

it's Green Demon the winner,

Fearless Champ second, Bingo is third.
He did it.

And Dreamy Joe finished fourth.
Who win it?

You did, and Green Demon.

(SIGHS)

How 'bout that? I gotta
get out of this racket.

This is too much of a gamble.

Close call. Forty-two
hundred dollars.

Forty-two, huh? (KISSES)
I feel better already.

Maybe if we could plant
a little of this,

we could grow a money tree.

Hey, here's that tab we took
for that guy's 20.

Did he come back? No.

When he does, get the 20 before
he takes the little doll.

Where is she?

How do you like that? Gone.

Every time I get bighearted.

When was the other time?

Twenty bucks is 200 dimes.
Think of all the subway rides.

Now, find that little filly.

Ah, forget her.
You still won plenty.

Let's go some place and celebrate.

Let's drop in Big Steve's for a drink.

We got nothin' to celebrate.
Maybe tomorrow we lose.

That don't stop me from celebrating.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't
pay a cover charge

to hear that girl at Big Steve's.

I heard her sing plenty
in the Gaieties.

Besides, she sings flat.
Sort of.

(GLADYS SINGING)

(MOANS)

Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Oh! So you're the little kitty.

Hmm. You know, I hate to turn

a sweet little doll
like you over to Sorrowful,

but I got three mouths
to feed, two on my wife.

Well, well, well. For a guy
that wasn't coming here,

you're awful present.

Oh, my Scout troop is holding
a meeting here tonight.

How 'bout the little doll?
Did you get the 20?

Her you-know-what never showed up.

Well, her you-know-what better show.

We hold her till he does.

I'm awful hungry. Hey, wait.

Watch it, will ya? How 'bout that
two cents' worth of licorice?

Hungry. You wanna get jowls?

Hello, Steve. You were great
tonight, Gladys. Sit down.

No, thanks, Steve. I'm
still just one of the help.

Besides, I see an old friend of mine.

Enjoy yourself.

She's going over to Sorrowful's table.

If she does, she'll have
to buy her own coffee.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Gladys. Regret and
I were in the neighborhood.

We just thought we'd drop
in and catch your act.

So, you've been taking singing lessons.
That's right.

But not enough.

Babysitting to earn
some spending money?

Her father left her in the
horse room for a $20 marker.

The horse lost and her
old man hasn't showed.

I wish my daddy would come.

Why don't you phone her father?

Why didn't you think of that?
Let me have a nickel.

What's your name? Martha Jane.

Martha Jane what?
Not Martha Jane What,

Martha Jane Smith.

Oh, Smith. Figures.

All you have to do is look in
the phone book and find a Smith.

Do you know where you live?

I live in a big, tall house

with lots and lots
of windows and doors.

Doors.

Sorrowful, why don't you call the
police and let them handle this?

They'll know what to do.

Hand this little filly
over to the cops?

Not on your life!

Why, they'd fingerprint her.
She'd have a record overnight.

Sorrowful loves Martha Jane very much.

In fact, 20 bucks' worth.

I wish my daddy would come.
I'm hungry.

Haven't you ordered her
anything to eat?

Eat? You wanna ruin
this kid's figure?

Mr. Sorrowful doesn't like me.

Oh, of course he does, Martha,

and he's going to buy you a big dinner.

Or I'm gonna call the cops myself,

and then Uncle Sorrowful will be out

20 big, crisp dollar bills.

Waiter, bring this
little lady the works.

Bowl of corn flakes, two spoons.

I got a little girl like that at home.

I give her steak for supper.

After the tip you get tonight,
she'll be back on corn flakes.

I like steak for supper.

This kid's been around.

Why don't you order fillet mignon?

Oh, thank you,
and with mushrooms, please.

And a baked potato and some spinach.

And a nice big glass of milk
and some strawberry shortcake.

That's what I give my kid for supper.

Now what can I do for you?

Adopt me.

(GIGGLES)

Why don't you wake her up and
let her finish her own steak?

Shh. Little doll needs rest.
It's very healthy.

Where does she spend the night?

Hey, maybe we could
get her in at the YWCA.

Nope, I guess not. Couldn't
keep an eye on her there.

Looks like we've got her on our hands.

"Our hands"? You didn't say
anything about our 20 bucks.

You better take her up to
your room and put her to bed.

I'm no nursemaid.

Besides, my room is too small.
I sleep standing up now.

Why couldn't one of you...
I'd like to, Sorrowful,

but I don't finish until 1:00,

and this poor kid's got
to get to bed right now.

Look, we only got one bed at my house,

and my wife even objects
to me sharing it with her.

Let's wake the kid up. Maybe
she'll think of something.

Maybe she wants to hang around
till you finish at 1:00.

We could slip her some strong coffee.

Sorrowful, for once in your life,

why don't you do something
nice for somebody?

Okay, okay. I'm the fall guy.
I can see it coming.

The minute you make a few bucks,
everybody wants to move in.

(GROANS)

Say, waiter, will you wrap up the
rest of that steak for my dog?

I'll get a bag.

- You haven't got a dog.
- Quiet.

Come on, Shorts.
This is it. Come on.

We're traveling.

(SIGHS) Did my daddy come yet?

No, but if he doesn't come by morning,

I'm going to put an ad
in the scratch sheet.

You're going home with me.

Sorrowful will be
very nice to you, honey.

He'll take care of you
until your father comes.

I guess you're not really
a monster, Mr. Sorrowful.

You just look like one.

Mr. Sorrowful, I can't
undo this button.

You sure you haven't got
this thing on backwards?

Or were you in the navy?

(GIGGLING)

Steady. Steady.

There you are. Okay.

There's one more.

Don't you ever knock?

Before, not after. Round.

Let me see. There you are.

- You okay?
- Thank you very much.

It'll be on your check.

Why are you undressing in the kitchen?

Oh, I've got a horse in my pocket,

and the light hurts his eyes.

- Oh.
- I knew you'd understand.

(COUGHING)

Hey. Hey, the neighbors.

Keep that on. You're gonna
have to sleep in that.

But that's not healthy. I'd
like a nightgown, please.

You'd like a nightgown. Where do
you think you are, on Park Avenue?

You'll sleep in that or sleep raw.

"Sleep raw"?
What does that mean?

Well, that... When you...

I'll find something for you.

Where's the bathroom, please?

The powder room is there.

Thank you, Mr. Sorrowful.

Get you a floor plan later.

Gotta have a nightgown.

Here's your nightgown. This
doesn't look like a nightgown.

Women.

(HUMMING)

Hey, Shorts,

drag your royal chassis out
of there and hit the sack.

I just made your bed for you.

I'm coming.

Is this a nightgown?

What do you want, shoulder pads?

- Good night.
- Good night.

(YAWNING)

Well! Pardon me!

It's crowded, isn't it?

You sure you're comfortable?

Oh, yes. It's nice and soft.

Yeah, well, can I get you anything?

A salami sandwich or
a glass of champagne?

I'm not hungry now. Maybe later.

Well, don't hesitate to call
on me if anything turns up.

I'll be on tap all night
waiting for your ring.

(GRUNTS)

Mr. Sorrowful,

I want my daddy to come and get me.

You want your daddy
to come and get you?

That makes two of us.
Now get some shut-eye.

Mr. Sorrowful,

my daddy used to sing to
me when I couldn't sleep.

Oh, that's nice.

Oh, please.
Couldn't you sing to me?

Then I wouldn't feel so
lonesome and scared. (SNIFFLING)

Just when I was getting comfortable.

Oh.

You gotta have singing?

(SINGING RAGTIME)

No.

(SINGING BALLAD)

No, I need three other guys for that.

I'll read you a story, huh?
Oh, please, sing.

(SINGING LULLABY)

(HUMMING)

Well!

(SINGING)

- Shh!
- Mr. Sorrowful,

will you scrub my back, please?

I can't bend down. I got a
short circuit in my neck.

If you scrub my back,
I'll eat a big breakfast.

A big breakfast?
Oh, that's wonderful.

I could hold her head under with...

Control yourself.

Please, Mr. Sorrowful.

The things you have to do for 20 bucks.

Okay, give it to me.

(SINGING)

Shh. Quiet.

(DOOR BUZZES) Saved by the bell.

You want me to answer it?

Not in that costume.

- Oh, hello.
- Good morning.

Are you the lady of the house?
(CHUCKLES)

Stop it. I'm very busy.
What are you doing here?

Is that my daddy?

It's me, honey, Gladys.

This is great atmosphere for the kid.

What time do the bats fly out?

Well, I didn't rent it for a nursery.
What's your mission?

I got some oatmeal here for her.

What'd you think I was gonna
give her, pickled octopus?

I got coffee on the stove
right now, and donuts.

That's what I mean.

Mr. Sorrowful, the water's
getting awful cold.

Okay.

Where are you going with that coffee?

Well, the kid needs hot water.
My coffee's weak.

Put that back.

I'll finish her bath and
I'll make her some breakfast.

Where's the milk?

Where it always is. In
front of my neighbor's door.

It's a good thing I showed up,

or she'd have the first case
of beriberi on Broadway.

Beriberi. Does she have
to have two of everything?

Hello, Martha Jane.
Hello, Miss Gladys.

I was doing fine with her. I had
a high gloss on her shoulders.

Mr. Sorrowful, why don't you
climb in the tub with me,

and Miss Gladys can
scrub both of our backs?

Sure, get in, Sorrowful.

Huh. No, thanks. I haven't
got my water wings here.

Besides, it might
shrink his money belt.

That's enough.
My racket. Move over.

All right, you wash, I'll dry.

Where's a clean towel? In the
closet with the clean shirt,

under the tomato juice and the cookies.

BIG STEVE: Well, this is a
nice, homey little picture.

Always lock your door, Sorrowful.
That's rule number one.

Come out here a minute.
I wanna talk to you.

Hey, Steve, I can explain everything.

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking the minute
you turn your back, she runs

into some handsome guy's apartment.

No, I'm just thinking
what a swell kid she is

coming into a crummy joint like this,

just to give that little doll a bath.

Yeah, well, it's quite possible
she come up here to see me.

Well, if that occurs to you again,

take a good look in the mirror.

Well, everybody can't have blue eyes.

I came by here to make you
a business proposition.

Oh, well.

After what I won on Dreamy Joe,

it's like you were singing in my ear.

I need five thousand.
Song's over.

It's got to be a big killing this time.

I'm on the cuff again.

My only out is to slip Dreamy
Joe that last speedball.

Yeah, but 5,000. Dollars?

I'm going to Chicago to lay it off.

I don't want to hurt the track odds.

Why, Dreamy Joe oughta be ten to one.

Yeah, but we did so well with 1,000.

Can't we try again with 1,000?

Big Steve said five.

Maybe I should write it
out for you on your chest.

No, thanks. I can remember.

Five thousand.

Where can I find five thousand?

Boss, you want I should
take a personal look?

No, wait a minute.

Look, Sorrowful, we're trying

to work this out like businessmen.

(CHUCKLES) Well, I'm glad you
brought along your secretary.

But if you'd rather have a
lump on your head for interest,

that can be arranged.

It's okay. Okay. You've got it.

Oh, thanks.

Five thousand.
That's a lot of zeroes.

You don't mind pickin' up
a little easy money, do ya?

I won't have to sign this check.

The bank will recognize the teardrops.

By the way, the racing commission
just suspended me for 30 days.

They're investigating that last race.
Took away my license.

Oh. Well, that's that. No
license, no race, no $5,000.

Drop around when the deal
is straightened out and...

Just a minute, I got it figured.

All we have to do is register
Dreamy Joe with a new owner.

S. Taylor Henderson. Who's that?

Me. Wanna make something of it?

No. I think it's
a wonderful idea,

if the racing commission
is crazy in the head.

What's wrong with me owning a horse?

Am I a crook or something?

He asks the questions
and answers them too.

No, all I know is if there's anything

missing in the state of New York,

Once Over Sam is always the favorite.

And everybody knows
you work for Big Steve.

Pardon me while I cook
up a little breakfast.

You know, he might be right.

A new proposition? So soon?

I can't let you pass up this deal.

It just means too much to both of us.

We can find a new owner for Dreamy Joe.

Why, that's incidental.

Yeah, what's more important
is my five thou.

Why, sure it is,

and the bundle you can grab.

Listen, Sorrowful.
You can't lose.

Dreamy Joe takes the speedball, he wins.
That's A-B-C.

And I get a big stack of the necessary.
That's D-E-F?

You got my word for it.

Why, you don't think
I'd cross you, do ya?

- No.
- Why, you'll win so much money,

you'll have to crawl
over it to get into bed.

Hey, you know, you got me hemmed in
here, but I'm beginning to like it.

Why, you'll win so many
hundred-dollar bills

that you couldn't even stuff
'em into a box like that.

What else can I tell you? Go ahead.
Write out the check.

Check? Say, if it's that
good, you can have the cash.

Five thousand.

Right.

Now all we gotta do is dig up a
new owner to front for Dreamy Joe.

Somebody we both know.
Honest and reliable.

Well, everybody speaks highly
of the Statue of Liberty.

Mr. Sorrowful, I'm all dry now!

Well, get wet again. I'm busy.

Steve, what about that little character?
She has an honest face.

Give Dreamy Joe to that kid?
Are you crazy?

Steve, talk about honest. She wouldn't
know one loaded dice from another.

And she couldn't double-cross us,
not with me here watching her.

Well, maybe you got an angle.

She hasn't had time to be crooked.
Who is she, anyway?

Oh, one of the neighbor's kids.
She uses my tub.

What's her name?

Martha Jane Smith.

Okay. Tell Martha Jane she's running
in the feature race Thursday.

And tell her not to go shooting
her mouth off to the other kids.

Hey, Gladys.

How about a little breakfast
at Toots Shor's?

I'm staying here so Sorrowful doesn't
give the kid an after-breakfast cigar.

Okay, but don't let this
get to be a habit with you.

BIG STEVE: How are you?
All right.

What's everybody
doing up in the daytime?

Oh, I thought it was my daddy.

It's only Regret.

(WHISPERING) Get rid of the kid.
What?

Get rid of the kid.

Okay, Shorts, get dressed.

Come on, honey. Time to
get dressed for breakfast.

Can I have some bacon, please?

Bacon? I just bought
you a whole horse.

For my very own? What color?

Plaid. Who cares what color?

It does a mile in 1:37
with blinkers.

Could I see it, please?

Sure. We'll run out to the
track, and I'll show it to you.

Now, get dressed.
Come on, honey.

Sorrowful, what's all
this about a horse?

I'll tell you later.

A horse is just what she needs.
What's eating you?

They found her old man
in the East River.

Orville Smith, like it says here.

Bookmaker's ticket for 20 bucks
in his pocket on Dreamy Joe.

Poor kid.

We better turn her over to the police.

They'll know where to find her mother.

(MARTHA JANE SINGING)

Well, don't stand there.
Get her dressed.

Miss Gladys, will you help me
with these buttons, please?

Sure, Martha Jane.

Guess you'd like to go
home and see your mommy.

- I can't do that.
- Why not?

My daddy said she's never coming back.

I only kind of remember
what she looked like.

(GIGGLES) Whoa, Dreamy Joe!

Miss Gladys, is this really my horse?

Sure, Martha Jane. It's a
present from Mr. Sorrowful.

Nice outfit Gladys
picked up for the kid.

Yeah, she's a big
spender with my money.

How much of the deal does Gladys know?

She knows a very good percentage.

I had to tell her about needing the kid

for a few days so we
could run Dreamy Joe.

Anyway, she likes the kid
to have fun with the horse.

And the speedball and the F-I-X?

She wouldn't understand it.

She's one of those high-minded dames.
Thinks gambling is a sport.

But the kid stays with
you till after the race.

You're in good shape.

Oh, very good shape.

First, I'm holding a hot kid
the cops would love to find.

Second, a gent was murdered
with my marker in his pocket.

Third, I'm in a racket
not considered legal.

Fourth, I'm mixed up
in a questionable race,

and here on my thumb,

if I try to resign, a couple
of my business associates

would beat me to death
with their pinkies.

I'm in good shape.

Thank you very much,
Mr. Sorrowful.

I'm learning how to ride him.

Well, don't make any long-range plans.

This hay burner's been
around the track so long,

he can read his own odds
on the tote board. (LAUGHS)

Giddyap, Dreamy Joe.

Hang on, little lady. That's a spirited horse.
He might throw you.

Ah, this hay burner can read
his own odds on the tote board.

Giddyap, Dreamy Joe.

How much can Dreamy Joe
win for her Thursday?

The purse is 3,500.

Hey, you don't think the kid
really gets the money, do you?

Well, I've always heard
that the owner gets the purse.

New Year's Day I won a
turkey in a fixed raffle.

That's my charity for this season.

Now wait a minute.

Uh-oh. Don't look now.
It's Mr. Reardon.

Scatter. If he asks for me, tell
him I joined the Foreign Legion.

No dice, Sorrowful.

I'll lead him straight to you unless you
tell me that Martha Jane gets the win purse.

Are you crazy? This is the law.
I know it.

If he finds the kid here with me,
I'll be up to my ears in handcuffs.

Well then, talk fast.
The prison gates are opening.

Okay, I'll give her a quarter.

The whole thing. A half.

All or nothing.

Okay. Nothing.

You wouldn't really
tell him, would you?

I'm not gonna give up any part of...
Oh, Mr...

Okay, okay. I'm in a
spot and you know it.

The kid gets it all.

Come on, Shorts. Exercise him.

Here you go.

Give him a fast brush-off.

Hello, Gladys.

Hi. Who's minding City Hall?

Oh, it's in good hands.

I just came out here to
have a talk with Sorrowful.

I hear he's latched onto a little girl.

It's me, and I'm a big girl.

I'm talking about the little Smith kid

who was left with
Sorrowful as a marker.

Oh, you know about her.

Registering a horse in the kid's name

is a funny way of trying to hide her.

Look, Mr. Reardon,
if you could just

sort of not see her around
here for a couple of days,

just until Dreamy Joe runs,
she might win $3,500.

She'd still be an orphan, and
I'd still have to turn her in.

Yeah, but she'd get
an awful good start.

She'd be a big sport
with the other kids.

I just want to have a look at her.

I didn't say I was going
to put the cuffs on her.

You mean there's a heart
under that badge?

I hear it ticking once in a while.

Is he gone?

Oh, hi, Mr. Reardon. What's new?

What are you doing down the tracks?
Some horse steal a blanket?

- Where's the little girl?
- Little girl? What little girl?

Say, if you get any hot information

on these dogs around here,
let me know, will ya?

I'd like to bet a little.
Care for one?

The Smith girl.

Smith? Oh, I know
a lot of Smiths.

Martha Jane Smith.

Oh. Oh, that must be
one of the newer Smiths.

Thank you very much.
Got to keep the flies out.

Say, how tall is she?
Oh, like so.

Oh. Blonde or brunette?
Sort of blonde.

Oh. Boy or girl? Girl.

Oh, a girl girl. And
quit stalling, Sorrowful.

Oh, doesn't sound like anybody I know.

Hey, maybe that's your kid.
That's a jockey.

I'm talking about the kid
you're trying to hide.

Me? Hide?

Hide, what? That's all I
have to do is hide a kid.

Okay, you don't know anything.
So I'll tell you something.

We fished a guy out of the East River.

He had one of your betting
receipts in his pocket.

He was the little girl's father.

Oh. We ought
to pass the hat for her.

Maybe you could use my hat, huh?

You know what they do to you for kidnapping?
They sit you in a big chair.

They strap your legs in.
They strap your arms in.

On your head, they put a steel cap.

Then they turn on the electricity.

Does it hurt you?

Hurt you?

It ruins you.

See you later.

Take these to Homicide.
Yes, sir.

Pick up the Smith kid?

Nope. Left her with Sorrowful.

You left that poor little
girl with Sorrowful Jones?

We can pick her up any time.

Meanwhile, she's the only lead
we've got in the Smith murder case.

You know, something must be cooking

when Big Steve leaves town and turns
his horse over to a four-year-old child.

I don't think Sorrowful's smart
enough to be mixed up in it.

Anyway, I'll keep my eyes on him.

But it's like leaving a baby
with a pack of wolves.

In fact, it is leaving a
baby with a pack of wolves.

Oh, I don't know. The kid could do worse.
Got a match, Ed?

Right.

Craziest thing I ever heard of.

Horse can't run in the
three-year-old class anymore,

so the little doll wants to
give him a birthday party.

So? She gets some fun out of it.
Let her store up a few laughs.

She'll need to draw on them later.

What more does she want?

She's getting half of the win purse.

Half?

Maybe three-quarters.

Okay, okay. She gets it all.
Watch it!

(PEOPLE SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY)

Hey! Hey!

(SINGING CONTINUES)

Oh, that's wonderful.

JOCKEY: I won the big race on Victory King.
He won't miss the posies.

Oh, thank you very much. Let's
make a wish for Dreamy Joe.

Come on, Martha Jane.

Miss Gladys, can Dreamy Joe
see his presents now?

Sure. That's what presents are for.
Gentlemen, be seated.

Look, honey. This is what
your jockey will wear.

M.J.S. Martha Jane Smith.

Didn't Dreamy Joe get
a lot of nice presents?

I should say so.

Mr. Sorrowful,
what did you bring him?

Oh, I got a present.
I didn't come empty-handed.

Look at that.

What is that, Mr. Sorrowful?
Sugar.

You might at least take
the Automat wrappers off.

It's the same sugar they
give you at the Waldorf.

Thank you, Mr. Sorrowful, for Dreamy Joe.
What did you bring him?

I have a present for him.

All the other horses
have mascots for luck.

I want Dreamy Joe to have my doll.

Well, I think that's the
very nicest present of all.

Thank you.

Well, the drinks are on me.

Look what I brought. But,
Sorrowful, I brought...

Quiet, boy.
Paper cups for everybody.

There you are. Fiesta time, Doc.
What a party.

Martha Jane, look.

Somebody get a cup for the horse.

Look. For Dreamy Joe.

Imagine Sorrowful Jones moving
into an apartment with an elevator.

Not one landlady waiting
downstairs for the rent.

Electric light in the hall
has a lampshade.

And talk about high-class
names, the Claymore Arms.

Hmm, hmm, hmm. (MOCKING SOUNDS)

Why don't you get that thing fixed?

Well, what do you know? Rugs.

Go on. Get ready
for bed, Shorts.

Dreamy Joe and I had a wonderful
time at your party, Miss Gladys.

- Thank you.
- Her party?

Who bought the paper cups?

(GIGGLES) Good night, honey.

Mmm!

See you when you come in to kiss
me good night, Mr. Sorrowful.

That's a new thing,
kissing her good night.

I don't know where she got the idea.

Whose idea was the new apartment?

Well, I had to get
out of that one room.

That little character was snoring
like a freight engine going uphill.

You know, Sorrowful, under that hide
of yours, you're practically a person.

Go on, you better head for the club.

It's about time for you to do your
number, the one you sing off-key.

I have a few minutes to spare.
How about some quick hospitality?

Huh? I'll sign an IOU for one drink.

Okay. I'll spring.

You know, I'll be glad
when this race is over,

so I can give the air
to the little doll.

You know, sort of cramps my
style to have to lug her around.

With a dog, it's different.

You give them a couple of biscuits, toss
them out on the back porch and that's it.

With a kid, it's rough.
They got buttons.

Doesn't seem to bother you too much.

Where are the two straws?

Oh, all I want is a taste.

I better keep an eye on her for when
she starts losing too much weight.

Are you insinuating I don't feed her?

Besides, how much can
she lose in three days?

I've been thinking about that three-day limit.
What comes after?

Well, maybe she'll
latch on to somebody.

Some nice couple with a front lawn.

Have you been taking sentimental pills?

I haven't heard you talking about
front lawns since that night in Omaha.

Yeah. I'll never forget that.

That wonderful little chop suey joint.

Boy, that was expensive.

Well, after we tossed for the
check, you got kind of romantic.

Yeah, I guess I did.

In those days, it seemed the
most important thing in the world

was to keep our stuff in
closets instead of trunks.

Just to have a few flowers
that weren't props.

Gee, I hope Martha Jane
gets a few laughs out of life.

You know, she's crazy about you.

I'm crazy about her, too.

If she had you and a father,
she'd have a complete set.

Sure she would.

Well, what about you and...

Big Steve?

It's later than I thought.

How about your drink?

Pour it back in the bottle
and dive right in after it.

What are you sore about?
Sore? Who's sore?

I just think I better
get out of here, that's all.

Steve might not like it.

Dames.

How you doing?

Doesn't Aunt Gladys look beautiful?

Aunt Gladys?
Now it's Aunt Gladys.

Come on. Let's do the good
night bit and get it over with.

Don't you like me,
Mr. Sorrowful?

Sure. You're okay,
but I'm a busy man.

Now, grab some shut-eye, huh?

Aren't you going to read me a story?

Oh, we're in a rut.

And not from that
old racing sheet again.

(SIGHS)

That's the one Aunt Gladys sent me.
Aunt Gladys.

It's good you got rich relatives.

"This is the story
about little orphan Mary"

"who had no parents, no money,
no clothes and no place to live."

Hmm. Cartoon comics.

I know all that part.

Skip over to where
she's in the burning house

and her hands and feet are tied.

Hey, you better give me this book

and I'll buy you a new one, huh?

Buy your own book, tightwad.

Aw, now talking like that ain't nice.

I've been meaning
to speak to you about that.

That's okay for you and me, but no
telling who else might be listening.

Do you mean God?

Yeah. Yeah.

Daddy said there's nobody named God.

When did he say this?

When my mommy went away.

Oh.

Yeah. Well, I guess your old man
did get kind of a tough break,

but what he said wasn't right.

Not just right.

I mean, there is somebody named God.

Did you ever see him?

Well, he doesn't hang
around horse rooms very much.

But if you ever want anything

and you can't promote it for yourself,

why, you just ask God

and, often as not, he comes through.

Do you write him letters
like you do Santa Claus?

(STAMMERING) Well, that's
where praying comes in.

You save three cents.

Then show me how to pray, please.

Go to sleep.

But I want to ask for something.

I never knew a dame who didn't.

Okay. Get out of bed.

And don't tell anybody about this.
See, I don't want it to get around.

Now kneel down. Put your hands
together like this, shut your eyes.

But why?

How do I know?
I don't make the rules.

Who does?

Well, like the racing commission
makes the rules at the track,

I guess there must be a
praying commission some place.

Oh. What does the commission
say I should do now?

Just say like this.
Now I lay me down to sleep.

Now I lay me down to sleep.

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

If I should die before I wake...

If I should die before I wake...

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

And God bless Sorrowful,
Gladys, Regret and everybody.

And God bless Sorrowful and
Gladys and Regret and everybody.

And Dreamy Joe too?

Oh, yeah, him most of all.
He's closest to going.

And Dreamy Joe most of all.
He's closest to going.

Is that all?
Yeah, that's the works.

But when do I ask for what I want?

Oh, you better slip it in right
now while your prayer's still hot.

Please, dear God,
buy Mr. Sorrowful a new suit.

With two pair of pants, please.

(YANKEE DOODLE CH/MING)

Where'd you get this?

Picked it up in a pawn
shop on Third Avenue.

Figured it might be the one.

Did you trace the pawn ticket?

Hocked last week by a Mrs.
Oliver Sims, scrub lady.

Seemed to be scared stiff when I
wrote out the questions for her.

Wrote out the questions?
She's stone-deaf.

Oh. Where does she work?

Big Steve Holloway's cafe.

She says she found the watch on
the floor in Big Steve's office.

I think she was scared because she
hocked it instead of turning it in.

Be seeing you.

Hello, Mr. Reardon. Yeah.

Hello, Sam.
Getting in condition?

Hello, Mr. Reardon.

What do you hear from Big Steve?

Not a thing.

Not a thing, sir.

Yes, sir.

Shouldn't he be getting
back from Chicago soon?

He wouldn't miss the big
race tomorrow, would he?

I don't know nothing, sir.

(YANKEE DOODLE CH/MING)

What'll they think of next?

Mine just goes
tick-tock, tick-tock, sir.

(MUSIC STOPS)

Oh, yeah, Sam,
I've been meaning to ask you.

Did you know that Steve gave
Dreamy Joe to a four-year-old kid?

Yes, sir.

Big Steve has a heart of gold.

And that the kid is the
daughter of Orville Smith?

Who's Orville Smith?

He's a young fella we found
in the East River last week

with three bullet holes and
a $20 marker on Dreamy Joe.

Interesting, isn't it?

What's that gotta do with me, sir?

(STEAM HISSING)

Well, I've been talking
to Sorrowful Jones.

You know, the kid was left with him.

We've had a very
interesting conversation.

And you know something else, Sam?

The hot seat's even hotter
than the one you're sitting on.

Mike! Mike!

Get me out of here! I'm frying!

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Steve? I've been trying
and trying to reach you.

Yeah, I just got in from the airport.
What's the matter, is something wrong?

Reardon gave me the business
while I'm getting a steam.

The little doll who we saw
in the bathtub at Sorrowful's

belongs to the gent we caught
in your office, remember?

The one whose last address
was the East River.

The way I see it, Sorrowful has been
shooting his mouth off to the law.

Oh, I see.

All right, get on over there and shut
him up and get that kid out of sight.

Having her around so close
might give Reardon ideas.

Now, look, I don't care what you have to do.
Get rid of her. Lose her.

Ready, Mr. Sorrowful?

SORROWFUL: Not yet.
Keep your eyes closed.

(DOOR BUZZES)

Hiya, Shorts. What's the matter?

Does looking at Sorrowful
hurt your eyes too?

He'll be out in a minute.
I'm not allowed to peek.

Oh, I see.

Ta-da!

Ooh!

Aunt Gladys, Mr. Sorrowful looks
almost as beautiful as Dreamy Joe.

It's like Rembrandt painted
a dish of chicken fat.

Drink it in. I got to be
back in the window by 12:00.

Must have passed the barber college.
Hmm, new shoes, too.

- I only prayed for a new suit.
- Stool pigeon.

Can't a citizen get
dressed up if he wants to?

Who asked you to come back anyway?

Well, I figured you wouldn't have sense
enough to get her socks and underwear.

(DOOR BUZZES)

If that's for the kid, wrap it up.
She's going on a trip.

A trip? Is he going
to take me to my daddy?

Start getting ready for bed, Shorts.

I'll give you the rundown later.

Hey, who's going on what trip?

Me and Steve hear from reliable parties

that you've been holding
conversations with the law.

You mean with Reardon?

Suppose he has? What's
that got to do with her?

According to Steve,
she should get herself lost,

such as out of town or in an orphanage.

Yeah, but she's such a little doll.
She's not in anybody's way.

It is not possible to eat corn
on the cob without front teeth,

or would you like to see for yourself?

Sorrowful, don't let
him push you around.

I'm glad you reminded me.

I'm not going to do it, Sam.
Little doll deserves a break.

She's leaving here, and you're
keeping your trap shut about it.

Well, I'll try to control my temper.

I'll put it to the doll in person.

Maybe she'd like to go.

If you and Steve get that little girl
out of here, it'll be over my dead body.

That can be arranged too.

If I'm not going to see my daddy,
am I going to see Dreamy Joe?

Well, not exactly. You're going
to a special place for kids.

Just what you need, an orphanage.

What's an orphanage?

Oh, it's like a big poolroom,
but for kids.

Playgrounds, baseball teams,
soft bed, three meals a day.

Well, maybe two, but very nourishing.

All the oatmeal you can eat.

If you don't eat it,
some old biddy will slug you,

put you on bread and water,
lock you up in solitary,

keep you slaving away in the jute mill.

And all because you wouldn't
eat that soggy oatmeal.

I guess it's a nice place,
or you wouldn't take me there.

Are we leaving now?

No, we're not leaving.

We're going to play a little game.

It's called "Hide and Go
Seek on the Fire Escape."

You hide there and don't make
a sound till I yell "Ready."

Are you going to surprise me again?

This time it's me I'm surprising.

No matter what happens,
promise me you'll keep quiet.

Sure I will, Mr. Sorrowful.

Okay, honey.

Where's the kid?

Sam, I'm not going to let you take her.

Unlock that door and get out of my way.

You make one move
and I'll throw a punch.

Just quiver a muscle
and I'll flatten you!

All right, you'll flatten me, but
I'll get up off the floor swinging.

So you're swinging? So I
break your nose like this!

I'm bleeding pretty bad, but
I shake my head to clear it

and I still come at you.

You know, Sam, you're outnumbered.

Stay out of this or I'll bop you.

Now give me that key or I'll drive
your head through that door...

I warned you.

Come on, unlock the door. Let's
get Shorts and get out of here.

Okay.

Well, maybe it's a good
thing I dropped in.

Did you get rid of the kid?

No, she's in there.

Get up!
Now wait a minute, Steve.

Or what?

See, I told you. She isn't here.

But I seen her come in.

She ain't here.

Where is she?

Well, that's different. You ask a
civil question, you get a civil answer.

I don't know where she is.

Hey, boss.

Shorts! Shorts!

(CLAMORING)

Shorts! What happened?

She must have fallen
from the fire escape.

We better get her to a hospital.

Severe cerebral concussion.
The pressure is increasing.

Any indication of regaining
consciousness, Doctor?

Well, she's started to rally a little.

She kept calling for someone.

Better arrange for
magnesium sulfate by hypo.

Right.

The next few hours will tell.

This wouldn't have happened if you'd
taken her to your house that night.

But no, your wife had to
have a bed all to herself.

Who's boss of your house anyway?

I guess your fondness for 20
bucks had nothing to do with it.

We all gave the kid
a little wrong-way push.

It's kind of late to start
placing the blame now.

(DOOR CLOSES)

SORROWFUL: Doc.

Yes? Any word?

No change.
She's still in a coma.

How serious?

A state of shock can be very serious.

Look, Doc, you can level with us.
What are the odds?

Fifty-fifty.

Oh, well, that's not bad.
That's even money.

Why, we're practically
betting on the favorite.

- Is her father here?
- No.

Then which one of you
does she call Dreamy Joe?

None of us.
Dreamy Joe is a horse.

Her horse.

Oh. That's too bad. She
keeps calling for Dreamy Joe.

It would have helped.
Excuse me, please.

I wonder if that praying
commission's open in the daytime?

What?

Oh, nothing.

She keeps asking for Dreamy Joe.

I never realized a nag
could mean so much to a kid.

Just to look at him
might make the difference.

Hey, why don't we rig up a prop horse?

You know, one of those
riding academy nags?

Shorts would never know the difference.

She'd know.
She loves Dreamy Joe.

If we tried to fool her, it
might make things even worse.

If the big race wasn't in just a few
hours, we might arrange something.

Which is more important, a bunch
of horses chasing each other

or Martha Jane?

What are you looking at me for?
What do you want me to do?

Steal him off the track?

If necessary, yes.

Do you know what
they do to horse thieves?

They don't hang you anymore,
just roust you a little.

What am I arguing about?

This is the craziest
thing I ever heard of.

Why, if I even tried
to cross Big Steve,

they'd have to roll me into
surgery on four different tables.

All right.

But what if we borrowed
Dreamy Joe after the race?

There won't be any Dreamy Joe after the race.
Speedballitis.

Speedballitis?

You mean they're going
to give the horse a jolt?

The big one?

You dragged the kid
into a crooked race?

You gave her a horse and
let her get crazy about it

when you knew it was
going to be killed?

Look, Gladys, it was a business deal.

The kid just happened
to get mixed up in it.

I never wanted to hurt her.

If we should ever run into each
other again along Broadway,

just keep walking.

Come on, blabbermouth,
let's get walking.

Doc, I want to talk to you.

In a minute, as soon as I finish.

There. Walk him around a little.

Let him get the feel of those bandages.

Just a minute.

- Here, Sam, you walk him.
- Me?

Yes, you. I don't want anybody
else to touch this horse.

Okay.

Come on.

Now's the time. We can do it.

Yeah, I could have figured in a spot
like this it would be "we" again.

If you were half a man,
you'd think of Shorts.

Okay. But if this doesn't
work, I'll be half a man.

Go ahead. No
slip-ups, do you hear?

Good afternoon, Sam.

What do you want?

I don't want anything.

Then what are you telling
me good afternoon for?

Oh, now, look, Sam.

Just because you got it in
for that heel Sorrowful,

that shouldn't be nothing
between you and me.

I happen to like you.

What is there to like?

Oh, I didn't mean no offense.

Why, everybody likes you.

- They do?
- Sure.

Why, when you walk down Broadway,

you know what everybody says?
What?

They say, "There goes Sam."

- No.
- Yes.

REGRET: And you know what else they say?
They say you're smart.

SAM: You gotta be smart.

When you don't like a guy, you gotta have
brains enough to belt him on the chin.

REGRET: And you know
something, Sam,

when it comes to belting
people on the chin,

you've got just the brain for it.

Well, so long, Sam.

Always nice to kick it around with you.
You talk my language.

Thank you kindly,
and a word to the wise,

give the brush to that crumb Sorrowful.

You got class.

Come on, will you?

Come on.

Hey, you're not Dreamy Joe.

What... What do you know?

- What happened?
- Boss, I brought back the wrong beast.

Where's Dreamy Joe?
What did you do with him?

I don't know. I was walking along, clutching
the rope, talking to my friend Regret.

Regret! Why, you dunce!

That means Sorrowful Jones
has Dreamy Joe.

I think I know where to find Sorrowful.

So Sorrowful makes a
monkey out of me, huh?

So I'll make a scrambled
egg out of him.

(HORN HONKING)

(HORN HONKING)

Well, I guess we'd better
try it the hard way.

Whoa, boy! Where'd you go?
Whoa, boy!

Come here, boy. Come on.

Could you kneel down a little?
Have to cooperate.

(NEIGHING)

(WHISPERING) If there's
any change in her pulse,

respiration or temperature,
call me immediately.

Yes, Doctor.

Is it all right if I stay, Doctor?

I think so.

Keep moving, Dreamy Joe.

(NEIGHING)

Stop! What's
the meaning of this?

Oh, it's okay. He's my brother.

I'm taking him to the psycho ward.
Thinks he's a horse.

Shh!

There's a lunatic in the
elevator with a horse.

This is your big chance to be a horse.

Stand by. I'll see
if the coast is clear.

And if you see anybody, look sick.

Hey!

Hey! (BUZZING)

Hey! (BUZZING)

Say, did you see a horse
get off the elevator?

A horse?

Yeah, I told him I'd get back.

You told the horse you'd come back?

Yeah, he was right here and he disappeared.
The horse disappeared?

Yeah, I lost my horse, you hear?

All right, all right.
Don't get excited.

- I'm not excited.
- Take it easy.

Maybe he went out to get a drink of water.
He'll come right back.

They all come back. We see
them around here all the time.

Pink ones, green ones, blue ones...
Are you a patient here?

No, I'm a doctor. Why don't
you step into my office?

And you're going to be all right.

There, you see?

Nurse! Intern!

Where'd you go? You have
to go riding up and down?

We have work to do.

(NEIGHS) Quit shoving!

I don't know how we're going
to get past those two gorillas.

Why'd you have to get mixed
up with Big Steve anyway?

Wait a minute.

Shorts.

Wait a minute.

Wait. Oh, pardon me.

I thought it was...

Carry on.

Phew! Come on. We'll make it.

Shh.

He's got to come this way.

A hospital is just the
right place to patch him up.

The important thing is to find
out what he did with the horse.

Doctor, have you seen
a lunatic with a horse?

A lunatic?

Oh, yeah. I saw two of 'em.
They're in front of room 508.

We'll take care of them.

Please do.

MAN: There they are. Grab 'em!

(THUMPING)

(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)

Come. Come, my big doll.
This is it.

Man, we got clear sailing from here in.

Don't worry about a thing.

- Whoops!
- Why, if it ain't Sorrowful Jones.

Well, I was just bringing him
in for a checkup. That's all.

What a sucker.
Leading with your right, huh?

Give me that horse.
I gotta have that horse.

(NEIGHS)

And that's for swiping the kid.

BIG STEVE: We gotta
get out of here.

I'll give him my rabbit punch.

(BUZZING)

I can't understand it.
It always worked on rabbits.

You're not getting
away with that horse.

So you want some more, huh?

Yeah, I want that horse.

This is for shooting
your mouth off to the law.

Meaning me, Sam, huh?

It's a good thing you come.
I'd have killed 'em.

I want to have a chat with
you boys down at headquarters.

I got a date with Dreamy Joe.
Come on, Joe.

Come on, boy.

I'll have you back
pounding a beat for this.

A certain scrub lady recognized
a photograph of Orville Smith.

Take 'em away, boys.
All right, let's go.

Come on.

- There he is.
- Oh, hiya, fellas.

We got rid of those
two hoodlums, all right.

Hold him. I'll take the horse.

What are you doing?
That's Dreamy Joe!

We don't care if it's Seabiscuit.
Out he goes!

Oh, wait a minute!
You can't do this!

I got to get to room 508!

We got to get you to the psych ward!

Wait a minute! You can't do this!
Gimme that horse!

This is Dreamy Joe.

In two seconds, you'll
be dreamier than he is.

Oh, no! No! Wait!
Stop that! Oh, foul!

(MUFFLED SHOUTING)

What's going on here?
He's a lunatic.

I know this man.
I'll take full responsibility.

Of course he knows me.
This is Dreamy Joe.

Why, you bunch of quacks.
Come on, baby.

Come on, boy.

This is Dreamy Joe.

Come on, boy. Come on.

Shh!

We've done everything we can.

(DOOR OPENS)

Sorrowful.

Shorts?

Shorts,

look who's here.

Martha Jane?

Shorts?

Look, Dreamy Joe.
He came to see you.

Well, we tried.

(DREAMY JOE NEIGHS)

(DREAMY JOE NEIGHS)

Mr. Sorrowful.

Dreamy Joe.

I couldn't keep him away.

He kept asking for you.

I think you can leave the rest to me.

I don't have to ask. I can
read her chart on your faces.

She's got to be all right.

Sorrowful brought her the
best medicine in the world.

As soon as she's up and
around, I'll take over.

You mean the orphanage routine?

I guarantee the best.

You can bow out gracefully.

I'll scout around for some
nice couple to adopt her.

Hey, would you mind holding the
horse a minute, Mr. Reardon?

Come.

What's the matter, Sorrowful?

You can't let Shorts fall in the
hands of some strange couple.

They might be undesirable characters.

It would still be
an improvement for her.

Look, you want to get
married, don't you?

You've hinted at it often enough.

Yes, one of these days, but to a solid
citizen, and I don't see any around.

Who cares about solid citizens?
I'm thinking about Shorts.

If we don't act fast, she's going
to be farmed out from under us.

Well, what do you
want me to do about it?

Well. I'm willing to make a sacrifice.
Why can't you?

If some couple has to
adopt her, how about us?

I think that's a very good idea.

The first one of us who gets
married should definitely adopt her.

I mean to each other.

Mrs. Sorrowful Jones.

Mrs. Sorrowful Jones.

Don't you have a real first name?

Hmm?

Humphrey.

Mrs. Sorrowful Jones.

Well, I'm glad we're going home.
My feet are killing me.

Aren't we going to the flea circus?

Oh, Shorts, you can't
do it all in one day.

We've been to the zoo. We climbed
to the top of the Statue of Liberty.

We were on the lake in Central Park.

Look at these blisters
from rowing. See?

But you promised, Daddy.

Well, Daddy?

Okay. What a way
to spend a honeymoon.