All language subtitles for Creature Comforts s02e08 Animal Magnetism.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,960 The stigmas in most species of nymphaeaceae, 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,960 the stigma, which is the male...the female organ, 3 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:08,640 actually gets warm 4 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:10,960 by three to six degrees centigrade 5 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,960 and emits a smell... 6 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:14,960 PHONE RINGS 7 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,960 ..a pheromone. And the pheromone... 8 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,000 RINGING CONTINUES 9 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,800 Sh! Sh! ..attracts the insects 10 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:25,960 and the insects...erm... Shush! 11 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,960 RINGING CONTINUES Shush what? 12 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,960 CAMERAMAN: The phone... The phone! 13 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,960 But the phone's interrupting me, not me the phone! 14 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,160 Yes, but... 15 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,960 Do you want me to stop? 16 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,640 I heard, through the body odour of others we realise 17 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,960 if we are genetically matching or not. 18 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,640 Unfortunately, the way nature works 19 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,960 is of odour, rather than perfume. 20 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,960 That's the way it is. I'm sorry I can't change it. 21 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:15,960 I smell and I like (LAUGHS) to smell people as well! 22 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:20,960 If I smell you in the street, don't be offended. 23 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:24,960 I went to an animal...rescue charity 24 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:28,960 in a very deprived part of Northwest London. 25 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:31,960 Erm...and I took one look at her 26 00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:34,640 and... 27 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:37,960 erm...something happened. 28 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:41,960 It was one look, absolutely one look. 29 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:45,960 I didn't really like him, actually, at the beginning 30 00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:48,960 because I thought he was a bit of a sort of, know-it-all. 31 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,960 Erm...but the way he ate his sandwich. 32 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,960 Erm...that was it, really. 33 00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,960 And you could see his stomach. 34 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,960 So, yeah, that's why I quite liked him first of all. 35 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:07,160 You've got to be confident and er...optimistic. 36 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:10,640 If you're pessimistic and always on the back foot, 37 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:12,960 I don't think you get anywhere. 38 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:17,960 Yeah, bit of the old cockiness. I think they all like a bit of that. 39 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:22,640 I am sexy all the time. Do you know what I mean? 40 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:25,960 Which part of you, exactly? Oh, all of me of course. 41 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,960 You know, I feel like that when I get out in the mornings, 42 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,960 and I feel very sexy. 43 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:37,960 Most of the times you're not there but there you are, you know, can't help that, can you? 44 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,960 Do you feel sexy? Not at all. 45 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,960 Well, it is early, isn't it? 46 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,960 Yeah, sure. Of course I'm sexy. 47 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,960 I can use my voice. 48 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,960 I can tell you, "I love you." 49 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,960 I can whisper this in your ear 50 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:58,960 a hundred million times and you will scream for more, more, more! 51 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,480 I have a great smile, 52 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,800 which you will never find anywhere else 53 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:05,960 in this world. 54 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:10,480 It sounds corny now, but he's always got the same chat-up line. 55 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:11,960 You know what it is? 56 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,480 You know the best part of your body? 57 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:18,960 The bit in between the top of your head and the bottom of your feet. 58 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,960 All of you's lovely. I've seen some lasses in my time 59 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,960 but you're way ahead in the queue when they dished out good looks. 60 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,960 But when I was saying these things I had my fingers crossed. 61 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:32,960 Biggest turn-on for me? 62 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,960 Lovely bottoms. They must have a nice bottom. 63 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,000 I'm not too bothered about the front bit 64 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,960 but the bottom bit I do quite like. 65 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:46,960 I'd never worried about size or shape or... 66 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:50,960 I'd lived with mongrels for half my life. 67 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,640 Erm...and suddenly, here was I, head over heels... 68 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:59,960 in love? Or what? 69 00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:05,960 It's lovely being in love. It makes you all twinkly and all happy. 70 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:10,960 Sometimes, I can't think straight because I'm thinking of him. 71 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,960 (PROLONGED SCREAM) 72 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,960 CRASH 73 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:20,960 If you're looking for a disco-dancing spring rabbit, 74 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,800 then you would find me a bit boring. 75 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:28,960 But if you are the kind of person who likes to sit around and... 76 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:33,000 moan a lot, then you could say I'm a very good companion. 77 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,960 No, actually he's not too bad. He's not that unsavoury a person. 78 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,960 I think he's all right. 79 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,960 Thank you. 80 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:47,960 I'm really intolerant. "I'm not that unsavoury a person"? 81 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:51,800 The thing is with you, your mother did everything for you. 82 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:55,000 And then when you come up to me you're ruddy, bloody useless! 83 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,960 "Obey," that's what the vicar said. No, I didn't. 84 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,960 When we got married, we didn't, I did not obey. 85 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,960 Obey. No, I didn't obey. 86 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,000 Obey. No. 87 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:08,960 I have lots of trapped air that has to get out somehow. 88 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,960 And that's really bad when you're sleeping with someone. 89 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:15,960 The methane gas is (FARTS) er... 90 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:19,160 lighter than air so you end up on the ceiling. (FARTS) 91 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,160 So that's why I choose not to sleep with anybody 92 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,320 and that's why I don't have a partner for a long time (FARTS). 93 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:29,960 (CAMERAMAN LAUGHS) It's the methane gas's fault. 94 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,160 (BIG FART) 95 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,960 I've got about... Wait, let me count. 96 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,000 19 boys fancy me, 97 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,960 but I don't fancy them. 98 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,960 I actually fancy Roo and he fancies me. 99 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,960 Cos you're pretty, that's why. 100 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:49,960 I'm really gonna get him for that. 101 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,960 I used to be very romantic, when I was younger. 102 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:56,960 I think everybody younger is very romantic. 103 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,640 Fall in love. Thinking about the partner. 104 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,960 Doing different things to them in your head. 105 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,960 Erm... 106 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,960 Romantic? No, not really. Yeah, you are. 107 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,960 No, I'm not. You are. 108 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,960 (COOING) Load of nonsense. Nonsense. 109 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,960 No. I don't think so. 110 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,960 I think you are. You're very thoughtful. 111 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,960 (SNIFFS) You are. 112 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,160 You've never said that before. 113 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,960 Well, I'm not on tape then, am I? 114 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,480 Yeah, now, I am a little bit romantic. I like to erm... 115 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:38,960 I like to lavish gifts upon my wife. 116 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:42,960 And I like to treat her to things that I know that she likes. 117 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,960 Trip down Tesco's?! 118 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,960 Trip down Tesco's - she loves all that stuff. 119 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,960 What about me? Are you romantic? 120 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:52,960 You tell me. 121 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,960 No, you're not. 122 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,960 Aren't I? No. 123 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:00,960 I am. No, you're not. 124 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:02,960 You're just saying that now. 125 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,000 No, I'm not. 126 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,960 I am, actually. 127 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,960 I do believe in love at first sight. 128 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:18,960 but I'm not saying it does anyone any good, what happens after that. 129 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,960 That's as much as I'm saying. 130 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:35,960 Ha, I've got three, you see. 131 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,800 But there's one - I can never remember her name. 132 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,960 Er, she does a lot of riding. 133 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,960 I'm trying to think of her flipping name now. 134 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,960 What's she called? 135 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:51,960 Well, let's just call her Rosie for today. Yeah, Rosie. 136 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:55,960 Good old Rosie. 137 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,960 Oh! 138 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,320 I've pulled a mussel! 139 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,960 Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com 140 00:08:15,010 --> 00:08:19,560 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 10764

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