Original subtitles

Oh, I love Blackpool.

A little stick of Blackpool rock.

You get that on George Formby.

# I'm a little stick of Blackpool rock #

Ha, ha, ha...

Woof! Woof!

Oink!

Mooo!

My family's been out here, running the donkey rides, since 1886,

we've been here, so we're a long established family.

And we've seen a lot of changes over the years.

We're great beach people,

but not sunburning... but not sunbathing.

The bottom line is we never sunbathe.

The wind, if it's too strong, it's not too comfortable.

You know, a bit cool,

but today I've found quite pleasant, to be quite honest.

Yes, rather warmer than...

yesterday, I thought.

I think you just take pot luck, don't you?

You... A little bit of a joke, isn't it?

If it rains then we've got wet weather gear,

so it doesn't really stop us.

When it does rain, it clears the beach.

As soon as you get rain,

there can be thousands of people along the beach,

as soon as you get a drop of rain, they're gone.

Donkey rides and dodgem cars and candy floss, toffee apples -

they're the things that you associate with...

a British seaside resort, you know.

Yeah, indeed. My wife and I holiday annually in Cornwall or Devon.

My wife, actually, must have sea and coast

on her holiday...agenda.

Um...so that over the many years,

even though all our holidays have been in Britain,

we've only once been to a non-coastal county,

which is Shropshire.

We had a fine holiday there.

The need to be near the sea, nevertheless,

draws us back time and time again.

I think the favourite beach that I do is right up there,

where you can see the cliffs, at Scarborough,

where the donkey rides, on the north side.

I think that's the nicest part of Bridlington beach.

But I think Scarborough beach's the nicest one I've been to.

Yes, I think we've got a lovely beach.

Um...the only problem is the sea doesn't come in very often.

Usually...

Usually, it's only in twice a day

and it usually seems to be the wrong time of the day for holidaymakers.

What I love is just splashing in the waves.

and it's really cold and you just jump in the sea,

swim around in there and um...

It's just really nice.

Oh, no. I wouldn't do that.

No, too many germs in the sea,

too many things that can make you ill and bad.

If you want to stay healthy, stay out of the sea, that's what I say.

I'm not very good at swimming.

I just sink.

I don't know why that is.

I do, though, it's true,

cos people say if you lie on your back you float.

Well, you don't. Well, I don't. I just sink.

THUNDER

I do like swimming in the sea.

I've always done it.

(SNIFFS) We used to go to...

Cornwall, which...and er...

It was nice but it was always windy, always cold.

Whereas I find with this area we always feel much, much better.

I wouldn't mind living down here, to be quite honest. Ha, ha, ha!

I had octopus once. I didn't know it was octopus, mind.

It was very tough, wasn't it? Yes.

Very tough. But I ate it.

I'm saying now that I won't eat prawns, but I ate that.

But when I knew afterwards, like everybody else, I felt quite ill.

In our own part of the world, we're extremely attached to Whitby,

and visit it in what's called our Whitby season,

which is from October to... October to March.

I've always felt uncomfortable with hot weather.

I don't like hot weather.

I don't like it.

So... And you don't either.

No, I can't stand it. So, we're agreed on that.

I love sunbathing because it's very warm and it's very relaxing.

It's almost just like being in bed, really.

It's like having a big electric blanket over you all the time.

And you go brown and that's always good.

I can't sunbathe for very long cos we had a very hot summer

and I got sunstroke and I can't sit out in it too long.

I sit for an hour, with plenty of cream on.

After that I start feeling sickly and I've got to come in.

At the end of the day, what's it doing? It's cooking you, isn't it?

The sun is actually cooking you. Plus, I get heat rash.

That's why you go brown.

If I'm in it for ten minutes I get heat rash.

No, I don't want to burn my skin, do I?

It's bad for you.

(MUNCHES)

I love scrambling over rocks,

being in the rock pools

and just looking for crabs and looking for mussels.

Oh, the best place for rock-pooling is definitely Sidmouth -

really, really lovely rock pools everywhere.

And um...I was rock-pooling with all the little kids,

and I was sort of digging around,

marvelling at nature...

Oh! This disgusting thing!

This turd fish and it kind of looks really slovenly.

And I pulled it up and I was trying to marvel at it with the children.

It was so disgusting, I just ended up screaming and chucking it back.

I haven't really noticed pollution.

I think they're a lot cleaner than they used to be,

the beaches in this country.

They're beginning to get their act together, I think now.

Well, they have to, don't they?

It's the European regulations on beaches.

Well, the one what springs to my mind it was a very, very big spillage.

It's your worst fear, I suppose. Yeah.

You don't want to go in the water and come up with oil all over you.

It must put people off a holiday to see the state of it.

LAUGHTER

I think they get fined.

I'm almost certain they do get fined,

the ship owners.

Pollution is a problem everywhere, isn't it?

I don't know. On the beach?

What pollution do you get on the beach?

You get... LAUGHTER

..well, too many people, probably, is the worst pollution

and their radios.

We wouldn't sit next to someone that had radios blaring out,

and were being loud and everything.

If they came and sat next to us we'd move,

if we were sitting on the beach, or if they had dogs or stuff like that.

We wouldn't stay there.

The only reason I'm still doing this job is because of the children.

If you see their faces as they get off a coach,

remember some have never seen a beach before,

and um...it gives us great pleasure.

The children are what make the job.

The old stuff, the donkeys and the carts and things like that,

they're going to be around for a long time to come yet.

The hi-tech games, I think, really, they've had their day.

And so, coming back tomorrow,

and, hopefully, swim again... all being well.

I don't know what the forecast is for tomorrow, but...

if it's like this we shall be here.

Ha, ha, ha!

OK.

Right. Nice to have spoken to you anyway.

Um... As to the finest holiday that I've had,

I would probably say, paradoxically, that it was in the Lake District,

during the foot and mouth epidemic.

My ideal British holiday? Um...?

I'd probably like a weekend city break, myself, living by the sea.

Ha, ha, ha.

(SLURPS)

You don't mind if I eat this, do you?

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