Original subtitles

I haven't got any circus skills at all.

I can't juggle, I can't throw the knife at the lady,

I can't tame the lion,

and I can't crack the whip.

Or...

Or jump into the small bucket.

I can't do any of those things.

Tweet!

Woof, woof! Meow!

Oink!

Moo!

The thing that excites me about performing

is that it's...

..it's a release of any tensions that you might have inside you.

Ooh. I'm not sure whether it does excite me any more.

Oh, it does me. The thing that excites me about performing

is that you're doing something good, you're making people laugh.

Except the ones that walk off. Except them. Yeah.

It's kind of a two-way thing -

seeing people enjoy,

and just connecting with them, you know what I mean?

I kind of like that about it, really.

You've got to communicate with the audience.

But not to look at them

because you are apart from them

and it would break the illusion.

I try and interact with an audience,

but with 800 it becomes really difficult.

But I actually think I managed.

And that's an amazing feeling, to just erm...

just see that...

that you make an impact.

Like I was doing a job in Brighton recently,

and that had a real buzz about it.

And then I was in Suffolk or somewhere

doing an agricultural show.

And people had come to look at the cows.

I had to stand on one leg and do a raspberry.

Go arse over...

whatsit in front of 250 people.

And I bonked my head - I thought I was a goner.

And I heard them as I hit the floor go...

GASPS

And it was weird because I'd like took off.

I just like flew.

And I was just so embarrassed.

I was, "No, I'm fine, I'm fine, just get back on, I'm fine".

We spent a huge amount of time when we were on the road exercising.

We would stay up all night long practising our handstands.

We used to spend hours balancing and tumbling,

and helping each other learn tricks.

And use our bicycles - that sort of thing.

I can do nothing like that.

I can't even juggle.

Neither can I. I can do it with two things, but not with three.

That's not really juggling, is it?

No. It's chucking stuff up in the air, innit? Yeah.

Apart from doing a bit of yoga,

trying to get my foot behind my neck and stuff like that, you know,

just to loosen the old gizzards.

Um... Everyone used to get down and do...

"Bang out 20.

"Drop and give me 20."

So we used to do that.

And then all stick our knuckles together,

like loads of bravado kind of...

You know, blokey business.

You put your knuckles together and go, "Wahey!"

And things like that, really. Yeah.

You need to warm all those areas up -

your body and then moving on to your voice.

I start to hum. A kind of...

HUMS

Then it's opening your voice and going, you know,

ahhh, oooh, ahhh, oooh, ahhh, oooh.

# Many men, many men Many men, men, men

# Many men, many men Many men, men, men. #

In Tooting two tooters tried to toot two duke on a flute.

Pas bas a moi. Tout de rigueur.

Ahhh.

That kind of thing, you know. It's all kind of croaking out.

But it opens up your voice,

it relaxes and strengthens your vocal chords,

it warms everything up.

I don't find the clowns funny.

I do begrudge them coming on,

I find it quite insulting.

What I enjoy about clowns?

I think they're very talented, actually, because, um...

when clowns get together at the circus,

they can do things that are very funny

like throw custard pies at each other in a very funny way

to make a lot of people laugh.

You have to be talented to do that, you have to be an entertainer.

No. Oh, my goodness, no way. They're so horrible.

They're frightening and I think a lot of people are scared of clowns.

And, um...

..they're very funny, actually.

If it's badly done, it can be very sad.

Oh, it's totally embarrassing. I don't like the clowns.

If it doesn't work out, you feel pity for them

and that's like so awful.

LAUGHS

Clowns are creepy, aren't they? They're not funny at all.

They're just weird.

They don't look like they're happy.

You know, their painted smiles and ugh...their hair.

And I don't like the - the music. That...

HUMS

Oh, that horrible roundabout music with...

Oh, no. Ugh.

Clowns are not my...

Slapstick just isn't funny, I don't think.

Do you know what I mean?

A car falling apart and somebody falling over.

HONKS

LAUGHS

HONKS

The one I first saw when I was a little kid was called...

CLEARS THROAT ..Doodles.

Yes, I like the clowns, I like the clowns.

I like slapstick.

One of the things we used to like about what we do is...

Working with each other. Working with each other.

You have to travel with each other, work with each other, be creative.

Do interviews. Do interviews.

Do everything together.

If there aren't a few butterflies

around in the tummy before you go on stage,

you're probably not going to give a good performance.

You've got to be keyed up.

You'd think after all this time I wouldn't, but yes, I still do.

I still freak out!

And panic.

And...fear, you know, the audience's reaction to me and...

And then I get over it.

You feel sick sometimes.

But as soon as I go on stage, I think,

"Well, this is it. I can't turn back now. I'm on.

"Oh, God. The light's going up, the light's going up."

Inside, the real me is saying, "Oh, my God, oh, my God".

You know. "Here we go, why am I doing this?

"I love it when I'm doing it, I know I do, but why am I doing it?

"I'm glad I didn't have too much to eat."

We did a show a couple of years ago,

and 8,000 kids saw it in a week.

We had about 1,000 kids per performance.

And the kids were like, you know,

they were eight or nine, screaming blue murder. Aaagh!

Oh, I have never been so scared in all my life.

"Why do I do it? I must be stupid."

And you get out there and you think, "They're just loving it."

And they're completely engrossed in what you're doing.

It's... It's the, um...

It's the...

NERVOUS LAUGH It's...

It's knowing that whatever I take on

to perform in front of the audience,

actually it's...

it comes through me,

it's something that I take on and it just...

caboom!

LAUGHS

Every time I went on,

I could just feel the people laughing at me.

It was fantastic.

That gives me such a buzz.

Such a hell of a buzz.

We turned down Freddie Starr. We did.

He couldn't pay enough for us. Yeah.

That was the highlight of our career. Turning down Freddie Starr.

That's something I hadn't really considered -

appearing on television.

But if the chance came, yes.

Yes, it would be a new dimension.

I'll be all right.

I am scared of heights a bit.

I think I could get over it, though.

BOOMING, CHUCKLING

I...

The circus is, um...

It's a bit boring, isn't it, really?

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