Original subtitles

‐ Words, they mean stuff. And these days,

saying the wrong ones can get you cancelled.

But who gets to decide what's wrong from right?

♪♪ Remember there's more to life ♪

♪ What are we waiting for ♪

♪ Oh, just open up your eyes ♪

♪ And start to realize ♪

♪ That there's a great big sky above ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together, let's remember ♪

♪ That there's more to life ♪♪

(clapping)

Oscar?!

What are you doing here?

‐ I have something to tell you. ‐ What is it this time?

Is my song too... close?

‐ Holly Hobbie...

‐ Yes?

‐ Your guitar is a snake.

(high‐pitched scream) ‐ (man): What happened?

Is anyone hurt? ‐ Just my eardrums!

‐ Sorry, sorry! It was, it was just a bad dream.

‐ Was it about Oscar? ‐ Who is Oscar?

‐ He's nobody. He's just a guy I met.

‐ But he scared you in your dream? ‐ I was performing at the Calico

and then Oscar showed up, and my guitar turned into a snake.

‐ What kind of snake? Are we talking cobra,

rattlesnake, a black mamba? ‐ Robert!

‐ No, no because different snakes mean different things

in your dreams, like transformation,

unresolved feelings‐‐ ‐ I don't have feelings

for Oscar. Unresolved or otherwise.

‐ Who's Oscar? ‐ A boy Holly dreamt about.

‐ Who she doesn't have feelings for.

‐ Allegedly. ‐ Oh, boy.

‐ I dream about girls. Well, one girl.

That'll end soon, right? ‐ Do you know

that snakes can't bite, so they have to swallow food whole?

‐ The thing about dreams is that they can't always be

taken literally. Just because you're dreaming about Oscar

doesn't necessarily mean that you're dreaming about Oscar.

‐ And how are things with Tyler?

‐ This is not about Tyler.

I haven't seen or spoken to him since‐‐

‐ You told him you wanted to be friends.

I got that one from your diary.

‐ You and I are gonna have a talk later.

But I have bigger things to worry about anyway.

Like the Open Mic. ‐ Yeah, tonight is

your first one since that Savannah "fiascosaurus," right?

‐ Yeah. It's why it has to be perfect.

‐ So, you're not worried about the boycott?

‐ Boycott? Who would organize a boycott

against the Open Mic? ‐ Robbie...

‐ Why would your ex‐girlfriend want to hurt my open mic?

♪♪♪

‐ ♪♪ You and me run to a different beat ♪

♪ We are brave Lead the way, lead the way ♪

♪ Be the you inside and watch the world take flight ♪

♪ We are brave, Lead the way, lead the way ♪

♪ Be the change ♪

♪ Be the change ♪

♪ Gotta be the change ♪♪

‐ One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight!

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, one!

Guys, amazing run‐through!

Just hydrate, and we'll run it all again.

(whistle) ‐ (boy): Hands up. Eyes on ball!

‐ Hey, stranger! It's good to see you!

‐ It is?

‐ Yeah. Just 'cause Robbie and I broke up doesn't mean

I don't miss you guys. I mean, I always thought

of you as a little sister. (whistle)

‐ But you're organizing a boycott against my open mic.

‐ I am.

‐ Is this about Robbie?

‐ No. I realized I need to learn to take care of myself.

Not just from bears, but from the world.

Part of that means sticking up for myself

when people say hurtful things.

‐ That's amazing!

But where does the Open Mic fit into this?

‐ One of your regular performers has been helming

a campaign of hate against me, and I'm worried

she'll use the Open Mic to escalate it.

‐ What?! That's horrible! Who?

‐ Piper Parish.

‐ Piper?! But she doesn't have a mean bone in her body.

I once saw her let a mosquito finish biting her and fly off,

instead of swatting it off. ‐ If only she cared as much

for her fellow woman. ‐ Look, whatever this is,

I'm sure this is just a giant misunderstanding.

‐ Then why is everyone at school already talking about it?

People are questioning whether I should still be

head of the cheer squad. ‐ I need to know what happened,

so I can make this right. ‐ Ask Piper.

She knows exactly what I'm talking about.

♪♪♪

‐ ♪ Oooh ooh‐ooh‐ooh ooh‐ooh‐ooh ♪

‐ Dude, we can go watch the Packers practice!

‐ We are gonna have a pizza‐eating contest!

‐ Tattoos! Tattoos!

‐ Dare I ask? ‐ We're dreaming up

all the things we're gonna do now that I'm single.

‐ Oh, glad to see you're thinking big.

‐ Oh! Oh, dude, we can go

to a drive‐in and barbecue at the drive‐in!

‐ Yes! That's what we're gonna do. We're gonna do that tonight.

‐ Oh... Tonight, man, I'm busy tonight.

‐ How could you possibly justify abandoning me

in my hour of solitary single bro need?

(laughing nervously) ‐ I got myself a date.

‐ We are men, we don't need girls!

‐ Well then, do I have the club

for you.

‐ Haha! What does a men's club do?

‐ That's what I was about to ask.

‐ Trying to get me to break my vow of silence, are you?

No, but if you're interested, you'll first have to pass

the online test. ‐ This is so perfect!

This is so... I'm going home and doing this right now.

‐ Attaboy! ‐ Don't you mean "attaman"?

‐ OK.

‐ Hahaha!

Looks like you're not the only one with plans tonight.

♪♪♪

‐ Think, Piper, think! ‐ Honestly, I have no idea what Lyla is talking about.

‐ Maybe you made a joke about cheerleaders?

‐ Or high school girls? ‐ Not really my brand.

‐ Look, there must be something.

OK, I know Lyla seems tough, but she can be pretty

sensitive sometimes. ‐ Maybe we could cross‐reference

your comedic premises with things that upset Lyla.

‐ Uh, fashion crimes, movie spoilers,

quinoa. ‐ That girl is

so sensitive about her cooking. ‐ This might be nothing,

but a few days ago, Lyla was tweeting about these tacos

she made. Like, 30‐something separate tweets.

"I make the best tacos OMG, my tacos are legendary.

Muy auténtico." So I quote

tweeted her.

‐ "Mexico: No comment." (Amy laughing)

‐ That's very funny. ‐ Yeah, and exactly

the kind of thing that would upset Lyla.

Look, she probably just thinks that you're trying to turn

people against her, like you're waging a war or something. ‐ I would never,

I'm very antiwar. ‐ Uh, but people

have been piling on after your comment,

and they're freaking out because Lyla claims

she makes better tacos than the country that created them.

‐ I never meant for any of this to happen. What do we do?

‐ We get you two together so that you can tell her that.

Over lunch.

(beep)

‐ Hey, Robbie. Can I ask you something?

‐ One second. I'm just taking the most important test of my life.

(beep) Yes!

‐ Hmm, well, for my science fair project,

I wanted to try my hand at biomechanics.

I have a theory you can speed up recovery

by using an electric brace. ‐ Got it. Mm‐hmm.

‐ And since you injured your MCL, I thought you'd be the perfect partner.

‐ You want me to be a scientist? ‐ I see how you got that,

but no. I was hoping I could test

my theory on your recovering leg.

‐ So I'd be a lab rat? ‐ You wouldn't be in a cage.

(beeping) ‐ Yes! Yes!

‐ You'll do it? ‐ Oh no, sorry.

Science isn't really my thing. Now if you don't mind,

I'm gonna go pick up my manliest plaid.

‐ (whispering): What?

‐ Should I make tea? Something calming?

‐ Relax! Everything will be fine.

I can just delete what I said. (door closing)

‐ OK, but we're not even sure if this is about the tweet.

‐ Hello! ‐ Hi!

‐ I let myself in, I hope that's OK.

‐ Yeah, of course. And thank you so much for coming.

I really think we can put this boycott business behind us.

‐ And what better way to do that than over a delicious lunch

of my famous tacos! ‐ If only

there was a way we could have known this was about the tweet.

‐ That's so... generous!

‐ Well, I know this isn't what you meant by lunch,

but I really wanted the chance to change Piper's mind. See?

I only buy the premium kit and use grass‐fed ground beef.

‐ They sound great, but I'm vegetarian.

‐ Oh, are you sure?

‐ (Piper): 100%. ‐ Sorry. Of course you are.

But luckily, I also brought guac and I made it from scratch.

‐ Before we dig into this delicious food,

why don't we just talk for a bit?

Yeah? OK.

Um, Lyla, we'll start with you.

How did Piper's tweet make you feel?

‐ Embarrassed, I guess.

Like all the hard work I put into my tacos was worthless.

‐ OK, that's a great start.

Piper, was that your intention?

‐ Of course not. And I'm so sorry my words hurt you.

‐ OK. No harm, no foul, right?

OK, so, Lyla, about this boycott, um‐‐

‐ I just wish Piper wasn't a vegetarian.

Would you mind making an exception just this once?

‐ Um, that's not really on the table.

‐ It's just... if you tried one, I really think you'd understand.

‐ Understand what?

‐ That these really are the best tacos.

‐ Lyla, you don't actually think that they're the best tacos

in the world? ‐ How can you know they're not?

‐ There's still guac, right? Piper, take a chip.

‐ I just find it unlikely that you make the best tacos

in the world when there are millions of Mexicans

who've been making tacos for generations.

‐ Oh, so I'm not Mexican enough to make tacos?

‐ Are you Mexican at all? ‐ That's not the point, Lyla.

You're not even trying to understand.

‐ Are you calling me a bad person?

‐ No! No, no, she's not at all. Right, Piper?

‐ No comment. ‐ Holly, are you hearing this?

Your friend is saying I'm not allowed to make tacos!

‐ Of course you can make tacos! You can do whatever you want, just like I can say what I want!

And you best believe that after this convo,

I have a lot more to say. ‐ But the good news is

that Piper already volunteered to take down the tweet. Right?

‐ No, I won't. ‐ What do you mean, you won't?

‐ After this, I'd basically be agreeing "Little Miss Ignorant"

makes the best tacos. ‐ If you won't delete the tweet,

I will. ‐ Hey!

‐ Give me your phone! ‐ Stop it! Let go!

‐ Calm down. Don't. ‐ (Piper): Give it to me!

♪♪♪

(gasping)

‐ They're both being so stubborn:

Piper refusing to take down the tweet; Lyla refusing to call off the boycott.

‐ This is why I never post anything online.

What's weird to me is that Lyla's beef ‐

no pun intended ‐ is with Piper.

Not you and not the Open Mic.

‐ You're right.

Maybe I can convince her to leave the Calico out of it.

‐ Guys, I'm sorry. I know the Open Mic means a lot to you,

and I promise I'm not doing this to hurt you.

‐ It's not about me. Everyone in this community

looks forward to it. It's a place

where people can express their feelings.

‐ OK, I'll call off the boycott

if you ban Piper from performing.

‐ Ban her?! ‐ Seems a little harsh.

‐ Well, can you at least promise that she won't say anything mean about me on stage?

‐ (sighing): She seems pretty upset, but I can try.

‐ Guys, Washington Street needs more posters. ‐ OK, fine,

fine. I'll talk to her. ‐ Then, I'll call off

the boycott. I'm trusting you to come through for me, Holly.

Don't let me down.

♪♪♪

‐ ♪ Oooh‐oooh ooh‐oooh oooh ♪

‐ Roberto Hoberto!

Glad you could make it. ‐ This is

what I'm talking about: men being men!

‐ Great attitude! And congratulations

on passing the first test. ‐ "First test"?

‐ You think all you had to do to join is a few clicks around your Internet?

‐ Easy, Dodgey. He's fired up.

NO, there's just one more test for you to pass. Question is:

are you man enough?

‐ I am.

‐ Put this on. We will now

take you to the secret location of your final initiation.

♪♪♪ TO THE CAGES!

Yeah. ‐ Come here.

‐ Oh, you mean batting cages! ‐ Now,

to pass this test, you must do more than swing this. You must

summon all of the anger, the resentment,

the rage you feel towards the woman that wronged you

and channel it into that bat. I'll demonstrate.

Andrea leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me!

(men grunting)

Now, I can leave the TV volume up

as late at night as I want to!

(mean grunting)

Now, I can count potatoes as a vegetable!

(men grunting) And now I can

leave the toilet seat up after I've done using the toilet!

‐ Woo! ‐ AAAAH!

‐ Wooo!

‐ You try.

‐ Lyla dumping me was the best thing that ever happened to me!

(men grunting) Now, I won't get blamed

for things like random animal attacks.

(men grunting) And instead of going back

for her, I called her name and everything.

But does she care about that? Uh... no!

(men grunting)

Of course if it was a bear, she could have been really hurt.

Like really, really hurt.

(man grunting)

And I guess it's why she got mad at me when I staged

the fake attack: because I was looking out for myself again,

instead of thinking about her and apologizing.

I'm...

I am...

I'm sad.

I really messed up and I lost her.

‐ I miss Andrea too.

I do! (man sobbing)

‐ It's OK.

It's gonna be OK.

‐ Everyone's going to love you. OK, a lot of you probably think that I'm gonna

come up here and blast‐‐ ‐ Hey!

Can we talk? ‐ Yeah. Hey, what's up?

‐ Do you mind if I read what you have planned for tonight?

Just to make sure you're not gonna make fun of Lyla.

‐ My set does not mention Lyla.

‐ But will it hurt her feelings?

‐ I can't promise that it won't.

(Holly sighing) ‐ Please, Piper, don't make the same mistake

I made with Savannah. ‐ This is completely different.

Not trashing Lyla, I'm standing up for what I believe in.

‐ Since when do you care so much about tacos?

‐ Not tacos, cultural appropriation.

At my old school,

I got sent home for wearing cornrows.

‐ That's ridiculous!

I got braids like that when I went on a family vacation,

and everyone thought they were cute.

‐ Yeah. Cute on you, but gang style on me.

(sighing) ‐ That's awful.

And just like Lyla claiming she makes

better tacos than the people who created them.

‐ And I just want to find a way to talk about that stuff, you know?

‐ And you should. ‐ Really?

You'd be OK with it? ‐ What you're talking about

is super important stuff. I just have to find a way

to convince Lyla to change her mind.

In the 22 minutes before the Open Mic starts.

‐ Pulse, let's be real.

If I perform, Lyla will turn the entire town against the Open Mic,

and I'd never forgive myself if that happened.

I'm not gonna perform tonight. ♪♪♪

‐ ♪ Ooooh oooh‐oooh‐oooh ooh‐ooh ♪

‐ So when I got mad at Helen, I guess deep down

I was afraid of admitting just

how much I love Zumba.

‐ Well said, Dodgey.

Well, there's just one last thing to do before we close tonight's meeting.

Won't you take a knee?

(man sighing) With the power

invested in me by the ABC,

the Association of Batting Cages,

I officially pronounce you

a man.

Now, rise and accept your bat.

‐ Thanks, but I'm not sure I can accept this offer.

At least not yet.

(whistling a tune)

‐ ♪ All lost in the backyard ♪

♪ Waiting for nothin' ♪

‐ So, I guess siding with Lyla paid off.

‐ I didn't side with Lyla; I sided with the Open Mic.

‐ Hmm... You know who Bob Dylan is?

‐ Uh, yeah. The greatest folk musician of all time.

‐ But at the Newport Folk Festival,

in 1965, he went electric.

‐ Oh, yeah. I love Like a Rolling Stone.

‐ (laughing): Yeah. Back then, people hated it.

In fact, they booed Dylan.

But art isn't about just making people happy;

it's also about change.

And sometimes, change requires

making people feel uncomfortable.

‐ You think I should

let Piper perform?

‐ That girl has something important to say

about the world, and so what if some people don't like it?

You think that Greta Thunberg or Malala

are afraid to ruffle a few feathers?

(applause and cheering)

‐ Hey, everyone.

So we have time for one more tonight,

and I have a great song planned for you,

but I think that there's someone better you should hear from.

Next up is Piper Parish.

(applause and cheering)

‐ Thank you.

Hey, everyone. Today, I'm gonna talk to you

about collard greens. You know, the taco of the deep South?

(people laughing)

In 6th grade, we had a potluck at school, and we were

supposed to bring our favourite family recipe.

So of course, I brought my grandma's collard greens.

I wish you could taste them, they really were the best.

So the night before, my mom stayed up all night

cooking, making sure they were perfect.

I take them to school the next morning,

and no one touches 'em. And then a couple of years later,

I go to the super fancy restaurant in Chicago,

and guess what's on the menu and completely sold out?

Collard freaking greens!

(people laughing) I mean they even had

the audacity to call them paleo. OK,

so you'll give credit to actual cavemen,

but not women like my grandma? (people laughing)

So, fine...

(crickets chirping)

‐ Lyla...

I, uh...

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.

Sorry for leaving you to be eaten by bears, then...

also for not apologizing when I left you to be eaten by bears.

I guess it's what I'm doing right now, so...

I am sorry.

‐ You want to sit with me?

‐ Can... can you not do that?

‐ Sorry. Old habits. I didn't mean to...

Gosh, I'm the worst. ‐ You're

definitely not the worst. ‐ Yes, I am.

‐ No, you're not. ‐ Look, if I say I'm the worst, I'm the worst.

‐ Why are you trying to win this conversation? ‐ I don't know.

I always do this. I end up on one side of something,

and I just... I dig in. ‐ Like Piper and the taco tweet.

‐ I guess I spend so much time trying to do everything perfect

that the idea of doing it wrong

or of people laughing at me made me...

Am I a bad person?

‐ No. I don't think that at all.

But you know what? Who cares what I think? What do you think?

‐ I mean, I don't think I am.

I don't want to be.

But that silly tweet

and then what everyone was saying online.

I guess it doesn't always matter what you mean to say;

it's how it makes people feel.

‐ Look, I'm super new at this,

but I think it's really good that you're admitting it.

Even if it's just to me.

It might make this next part a little bit easier.

‐ What's the next part?

‐ Apologizing.

‐ My grandma was a card shark, so she would have

appreciated a good hustle... (door chime)

...but when the only reason you respect something is when

it's been commercialized, that's a problem.

Anyone can cook anything,

and we should explore each other's culture.

So go ahead, roll that sushi... ‐ You found somebody to be your lab rat yet?

‐ Nope. Why? You changed your mind?

‐ As a matter of fact, I have.

(applause and cheering) ‐ Woo, Piper!

‐ Thank you!

‐ I can't believe it took me so long to come around in the first place.

‐ Uh, Piper? Hey, um...

...I want to fix your phone.

Not myself. Obviously.

I'll pay someone to do it. But it's my fault

that it broke, so it's only right that I pay for it.

‐ Wow! Um, thank you, Lyla. Really.

‐ And I didn't understand how my tweets could be offensive,

but I do now, and I'm so sorry.

(indistinct conversations) ‐ Do you want to get a cookie?

‐ I would literally die for a cookie.

(chuckling)

‐ Tyler?! What are you doing here?

‐ Wanted to come see all the Open Mic drama.

OK, so...

we said we'd be friends, but it doesn't feel like we're friends.

Like actual friends.

♪♪♪ Thought coming here would show

I'm a friend though.

So I'm here now.

And I just said "friends" a million times.

(Holly chuckling) ‐ Sure did...

friend.

‐ ♪ Oooooooh ♪

(chuckling) ‐ I should go home, but...

good to see you.

‐ Yeah. Good to see you too.

That kind of felt right.

Don't you think? Haha!

(guitar music) ♪♪ All your lies ♪

♪ I'm so o‐o‐o o‐o‐over ♪

♪ Your heartless pride ♪

♪ I'm so o‐o‐o o‐o‐over ♪

♪ Your little, your wicked games ♪

♪ I won't forgive and I won't forget ♪

♪ That you stole what's mine ♪

♪ I'm so o‐o‐o o‐o‐over it ♪♪