All language subtitles for Tyler.Perrys.House.of.Payne.S13E19.1080p.WEB.h264-BAE_track3_[eng]

-Malik, would you hurry up?
-[Malik] I'm coming, Jazzy.

I'm trying to get your niece
to cooperate.

Daddy's trying
to get her dressed

and she think it's playtime.

I thought Lisa was going
to watch her,

so you could come down here
and do this interview with me.

Well, Lisa had to go
and renew her license down

at the Motor Vehicle Department.

Oh, Lord, be with her.
That place is the worst.

Who you telling?

And she tried to get me
to go with her.

I said, "Hell, no."

Don't you cuss in front
of my niece.

Hell isn't a curse word.

It's in the Bible...
just like ass.

Malik, give me the baby.
Give me my niece.

-Give me my niece.
-Here.

Go to your auntie.
There you go.

All right, so what is this
interview about?

It's for my broadcast journalism
class.

Broadcast journalism?
Where did this come from?

Look, I'm-I'm thinking
about journalism.

All right?

Dammit, girl.
Broadcast journalism?

How many times are you going
to change your major?

Shh. I know.
I know, okay?

I have no clue what I'm doing.
Just please don't tell dad.

-Don't tell dad what?
-Jazmine is try--

Hey, snitches get stitches.

Saint Jazmine,
promoting violence?

Well, I make exceptions
for brothers who open their

big mouths when I just
told them not to.

You see all this violence, Dad?

I see that.
It must be big.

Come on, Jazz.

Now you know you can
tell me anything.

Oh, Dad, I think it's best
if I don't tell you.

Girl, what is going on?
Are you pregnant?

No. Ain't nobody pregnant.

You don't have to lie to me.
Are you pregnant?

-Who's pregnant?
-Jazmine.

-You're pregnant?
-No, I'm not pregnant!

-You're pregnant?
-No!

-Is it that rapper boy?
-Mama, come on now.

The one that came over here
that time.

-Mom, I'm not pregnant.
-Your face is looking rounder.

My face look rounder
than it used to?

You should have told me--

I'm not pregnant, Mama!
Look what you did!

-I can't take this.
-[Jazmine] Mom.

-What is happening?
-I came downstairs.

-You came downstairs.
-Mm-hmm.

And I heard them say,
"Don't tell it to Dad."

-Yeah.
-[C.J.] Right?

[Janine] Yeah.

And next thing I know Jazmine
told Malik,

-"Snitches get stiches."
-That's what she said to me.

-She said that to you, baby?
-She said that to me.

-Are you okay?
-Malik!

Jazzy, what is going on
with you?

-Apparently, a lot.
-I can't take this.

No, I can't.
I gotta--

-Mom, calm down.
-Mama, just relax!

Y'all gettin' all worked up
over nothing.

Look, everybody just relax,
okay? Relax.

The good news,
she's not pregnant.

-Thank you.
-Then why did you say you were?

Mama, I never did, and ow!

Bad news, she changed her major.

-Again?
-Again?

Dammit, Malik!

Jazmine, what is going on? When
did you start cussing?

[Malik] What is going on
with her?

That's hormones.
That's pregnancy.

-What's in the water today?
-That's pregnancy.

[music]

[hydrant hissing]

[bird chirping]

[plane humming]

[car alarm blaring]

[police siren wailing]

[train horn blowing]

[ambulance siren wailing]

[helicopter whirring]

[firework whistling]

[baby crying]

-See? Look what y'all did!
-No, look at what you did.

You and your toxicity.
Come on. I'm sorry.

Your auntie's just going
through some things, baby.

So, Jazmine...

So, you're going to change your
major again?

Daddy, okay, listen.
So what had happened was

I was watching this documentary
on Gwen Ifill, right?

And she was just accomplished
and respected, and eloquent.

It just--
It inspired me!

Isn't that great?

So now you're gonna be
a journalist?

What happened to architecture?

Or sociology?

And Malik's right.
What happened to sociology?

Huh? That was good.
Two years ago.

Yeah, but sociology only allows
me to, like, write books

and teach.
Maybe work with nonprofits.

With journalism,
I can use all my gifts.

-She can use all her gifts--
-[Jazmine] Right!

There's nothing to be
worried about.

Um, journalism is a good,
solid career.

Yeah, and so was agriculture.

So was architecture
two years ago.

I mean, it was actually agronomy
with a specialty in

-new botanical technologies.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That right there.
How much did that cost me?

I mean, I don't--
I don't know, Dad.

But the technologies.

I can't help that
I'm indecisive, okay?

Dad, you're going into
full meltdown mode.

-Do you see what you did to him?
-You did!

Excuse me. Pause!
Baby, I need you to calm down.

You're starting to-to upset the
baby a little bit more

than she already was.

Aw, yeah.

I'm so sorry you can't
choose your family.

And Malik's right.

Sociology was a good career
two years ago.

C.J., remember what the doctor
said about not letting

everything overload, you know,
getting too stressed out?

Yeah, Dad.

You know, stress is the number
one killer of older black men

-like yourself.
-Too far, too far.

First of all, first of all,
I am not old, okay?

And second, I would not be
stressed out if my family

didn't stress me out, okay?
Choose a major!

Dad, do you want some warm milk
or something?

No!

I'm going upstairs and lay down
and do something nonstressful

like watch the evening news.

[sighs]

That went well.

You know your father.
Eventually, he will calm down.

Does he not want me to be happy?

No!
He doesn't care about that.

Do not listen to your brother.

Of course your father wants you
to be happy.

Happiness is overrated.

This man is keeping a tab on all
of these tuitions, okay?

And he knows you're not gonna
graduate until 2026.

-The man is gonna go broke!
-Okay, don't you have

somewhere else to go or do
or be something else?

I was supposed to be helping
the new journalism major

with her interview.

Why don't you try not
being a brat?

Mama, he can't help it.
He really can't.

And I think--I think this
journalism thing is gonna

work out for me.
Come on, y'all.

-Have some faith.
-Yeah.

Yeah, I am--
I am so not worried.

-Mom.
-What?

-Really?
-What?

-You're really bad at lying.
-No, I'm not.

-You are.
-No.

-You look worried as hell.
-I don't.

You kinda do. I don't.
I'm confident in this.

Shut your face.
We're happy for you.

We are proud of every
decision you've made,

And we're gonna stick
beside you.

-Why is your voice cracking?
-Hush.

All right?
I'm not worried.

I'm not bothered.

Pregnancy may have been a little
bit better,

but we'll cross that bridge
when we get there.

I'm going to check on
your father.

Shoo.

So what's this interview about?

[music]

[knocking on door]

Hold on!
I'm coming!

Oh, come on, man. Ref.

-Hey, Mr. Payne.
-Hey, Lizbeth.

Mr. Payne, will you stop?
You are the worst.

You know you gotta get my name
right before I marry your son.

Don't you know I'm just playin'
with you, Lori?

Mr. Payne.

I came by to talk to your wife.
Is she around?

Yeah.

Miss Ella, she's here?

I called her,
but I didn't hear from her.

Well, she's here.

I don't know why she's
ignoring your calls.

I didn't say all that.

Um, okay.
So she's in the kitchen?

-I can just--
-Yeah, go in there.

She's in the kitchen.
Watching the game?

Shh.
Yes, if you'd stop yapping.

That's where Calvin gets it.

[Ella] I jus think you need to
knead it. Knead it.

-Knead it a little bit more.
Make it all blend. Blend.

-Hey, Miss Ella.
-Hey, Laura.

-Hey, Miranda.
-Hey.

-Hi, Laura.
-Hi.

I got it.
I got it.

What have we got going on here?

Oh, Miss Ella is teaching me
how to make her famous

cinnamon rolls.

Oh, it smells so good.

Oh, my goodness.

Well, I don't want
to interrupt you guys.

It seems like you're really in
the thick of it.

Oh, no.
It's fine.

It's fine.
It's fine.

-How was the tasting?
-It's this afternoon.

Tasting?

-Yeah, tasting for the wedding.
-Ooh.

Uh, yeah, Miss Ella, remember
you said you'd go with me so...

I will go.
If you want me to, I can.

Well, that's what we discussed,
so...

Well, listen, Miss Ella
is the best person

to take to a tasting.

She is the master
of all cuisines.

Thank you.

That's exactly why I wanted you
to come, Miss Ella.

And I also thought it would be a
a really moment for us to be

able to bond together, you know?

Mm-hmm. Well, I wouldn't miss it
for the world.

But I can't go today.
Mm-mm.

I've gotta finish these
cinnamon rolls

and then Miranda and I
have to take them over to

Christian's school.

Yes because they are having
a bake-off contest

and Christian is going to win.

-Oh, yes he is.
-I am so excited!

-Yeah!
-Yeah!

We are going to skunk
that competition!

They don't know what's coming
for them.

Do we, do we, do we.

[laughing]

It sounds like you probably
won't be able to make it anyway,

-so, um.
-Wait, wait, wait.

Can we do it tomorrow?

-No, wait. I can't do--
-You can't do it tomorrow.

No, no.
Thursday?

-Can we do Thursday?
-Thursday works.

Thursday works.

You know what?
It's okay.

-[Ella] Are you sure?
-It's fine.

Don't worry about it.
It's-it's fine.

-It's not a big--
-Are you sure?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's not a big deal.

-Okay, that's enough.
-That's enough? Okay.

I'm just gonna get going
and uh--

[Ella] Okay.

You ladies have fun.
It smells so good in here.

Ooh, doesn't it?

Well, listen, just tell me
how the tasting goes.

I will.
I sure will.

-Okay.
-Okay. All right.

-Bye.
-I don't get it.

[Ella] Thank you!

-Hey, you okay?
-Yeah, I'm fine.

-I'll see y'all later.
-Okay.

[door closes]

[music]

-Malik, can you say something?
-Say what?

You gotta ask the question.

Look, the story is about
the importance of a strong

family unit as it relates
to upward mobility

in the black community today.
All right?

Okay, yeah, um, you said that,

um, but what's the question
that needs to be answered.

I just want you
to talk about it.

Talk about what?
Mobility?

Malik, why are you being
a butthole right now?

Okay, I'm not being a butthole
when I'm here helping you.

If you want to help me,
I need you to say something.

-You gotta ask a question.
-What? I don't know what to ask.

Well, don't you think
that the journalism major

would have thought
of questions to ask

before the interview started?

[sighs] You know what?
You're right.

Forget it.
Maybe I'm not a journalist.

Wait, Jazmine.
Wait. Look, I didn't say--

Bye.

[music]

What is going on today?

[music]

-Calvin.
-Hey, baby.

Is everything all right?

-No.
-What's wrong?

Wait. Did you go through
my computer again?

-What?
-No.

Because those are spam sites
that just pop up when--

What is happening
with your computer now?

Nothing.
What is it?

Okay, I need you to listen,
and I need you to listen

-with an open mind.
-Okay. What is it?

-It's your mother.
-My mother?

Yep.
And your baby's mother?

-My baby's mama? Tracey?
-No, the other baby's mama.

-Miranda?
-Yeah.

Okay.
Well, what happened?

Well, your mother was supposed
to come to the tasting

with me today.

-Okay.
-She didn't go.

Well, why didn't she go?

She was too busy teaching
Miranda how to make her

-famous cinnamon rolls.
-My mama made cinnamon rolls?

-Calvin, focus.
-No, no, baby.

You don't understand.
Cinnamon rolls--

-No, you don't understand.
-Okay, my bad.

I'm with you.
Go ahead.

I mean, why couldn't she
teach me how to make the

-cinnamon rolls?
-Well, did you ask her?

No, I didn't ask her, Calvin.
And I'm not gonna ask her, okay?

'Cause she could have come
to the tasting with me,

but no, we could have had
a bonding moment.

Instead, she chose to ditch me
for Miranda teaching your

ex-wife how to cook right in
front of me.

That was hurtful.

Look, baby, I'm sorry.

And I'm sure my mama didn't
mean anything by it.

I'm sure she just forgot.

See, I knew you were going to
take your side.

-I'm not taking her side--
-Yes you are!

If you're not,
then you need to talk to her.

Look, what do you want me
to say to her?

There's a lot that you can say
to her.

Look, if there's anything I
learned from binge watching

House of Cards, I've learned
that there's some fights

you can't win.
So you, my mom, my ex-wife,

I have no cards to play.

You're going to have
to figure that out

between you and my mama.

Wow.

I just really cannot believe
you're saying this to me

right now.

And this is not the
House of Cards, Calvin.

Laura, just go talk to my mom.

Your mom doesn't want to have
anything to do with me.

She'd rather play with Miranda.

Okay, look, Laura. Calm down.

Don't tell me to calm down,
Calvin. Okay?

I'm tired.
I am tired.

Okay.

[music]

[knocking on door]

-Professor Davidson.
-Hi, Jasmine.

-Hi. Please come in.
-Thank you.

I just wanted to find out how
the shoot's coming.

Wait.
Did I miss it?

No, ma'am.
You didn't miss it.

Well, like I discussed during
our Zooms, I like to stop by

and check out your individual
shoots to offer a little

moral support and guidance.

Um, I should have called you.

I'm sorry to have you drive all
the way out here,

but there's not going to be
an interview anymore.

First, it's no waste of time.
It's my job.

And why no interview?

Well, I think I might have
jumped on the whole journalism

-thing prematurely.
-Really?

Why would you say that?
You've been so excited.

I have been, but I tried my
first interview with my brother,

and, you know,
it didn't go too well, so...

And because your first interview
didn't go too well,

you've decided in that brief
moment that

journalism isn't your thing?

Well, I just don't want to waste
your time, or my time,

or my family's money.
I just--

-I'm just stressed.
-Hey, hey, what's there to be

so stressed about, hmm?

I don't have any idea
what I'm doing.

Okay. Sit.

What do you think
college is for?

It's when we start to figure out
who we are, what we like,

-and what we don't like.
-Yeah, but I'm three years in,

and I'm just as clueless now
as I was three years ago.

-And that's okay.
-Tell that to my dad.

Look, Jazmine, it takes many
of us years to figure out

who we are
and what we want to do.

My parents aren't rich.

I don't have the time
or that luxury.

I get it.

But you will decide upon
a major that you like enough

so you can get your
college degree.

But take the pressure off.
That major does not have to be

what you're locked into
for the rest of your life.

But choosing a major puts you
on a career path.

It can, but didn't for me.
Look, let me tell you my story.

Okay.

I majored in art, but that was
after trying out several majors.

Art made me happy,
so I studied art.

After I graduated,
I decided to go backpacking

across South America
with a friend of mine

because I had no idea
what I wanted to do.

And while backpacking,
I fell in love with traveling

and became a travel agent
when I got back to the States.

Then I decided to go get my MBA.

I got my MBA, and I started
my own media company

for some years.

And then later, after watching
journalists like Dan Rather

and Bernard Shaw,
I wanted to try that.

I then worked in network news
for over a decade,

and now I'm here
as your college professor.

What? Wow.

And guess what?
My story is still not over.

Mm-mm. I may have another career
in me after this.

-That's amazing, Professor.
-Thank you.

So, what makes you think you
have to know all that

-you'll do right now?
-I just want to be successful.

-And you will be.
-[sighs] Okay.

All right, well, let me get
to my next stop

and let me know when you've got
that interview together.

Yes, ma'am.
I will.

-Um, and Professor?
-Yes, Jazmine?

Thank you.

-Thank you so much.
-You're welcome.

[music]

So, Miss Graham,
the PTA president was awestruck.

She was so arrogant.

Do you believe she thought her
little peach cobbler cupcakes

would win?

Don't nobody want none of those
little nasty cupcakes.

-Nope, nope, and nope.
-I don't know, baby.

Peach cobbler cupcakes
sound good.

Uh, Miss Ella made her
famous cinnamon rolls.

Baby, you hit them
with the cinnamon rolls?

Mm-hmm.

Let me tell you,
they lost their minds.

I'm sure they did.

The decision was unanimous,
Curtis.

Hey, Miranda.
Hey, dad.

-Hey, son.
-What's going on?

I heard you made cinnamon rolls.
I did.

Yeah, you can't have any.

Go home and let Lizbeth
make you some.

-Who's Lizbeth?
-Hush, Curtis.

Baby, they're in there in a pan
on the stove.

Oh, wait. Calvin!
When is the tasting?

The chef's tasting.

-I'm not sure.
-You're not sure?

I know Laura told you about it.
She was so excited about it.

She might have mentioned that
you and her were supposed to go.

And I will when she tells me
when it is.

-You should call her.
-I did.

When we got back from the
bake off, I called her.

Okay.
Well, she'll call you back.

Uh, uh, uh, Calvin,
why are you looking like that?

-Look, I'm not in it.
-In-in what?

-In y'all mess.
-Mess?

-Did I say mess?
-Uh-huh, you said mess.

Look, I told Laura to talk
to you herself, Mom.

Talk to me about what, baby?

Okay, look, she's mad that you
were supposed to go with her

to the tasting,
but instead,

you were with Miranda
making cinnamon rolls.

Who is she to be mad with me?

Miss Ella, I told you something
was weird about her

when she was leaving.

Yeah, she was mad as hell when
she stormed up out of here.

I know you're kidding me.
I know you kidding me.

So she mad with me

because my schedule was booked.

This was booked long time
before this.

[music]

Curtis, do you hear this?

Baby, I am not in this.

-Curtis.
-You two keep talking.

-Miranda.
-Huh?

Do you hear this?

You know what, Miss Ella, I
think it's time for me to go.

-Miranda.
-I love you.

I love you.

Uh, Calvin, baby,

I know you better tell her--

Mom, I wish I could stick around
but I got things to do.

You better talk to her.

Calvin...
Give me those cinnamon rolls.

Pops, it ain't like you're gonna
catch me.

You better talk to her.

-[Ella] Curtis.
-Hmm?

I can't believe this.

Miss Thang gonna be mad at me.

You're mad at me
because my schedule's booked?

Don't do this.

Don't you come over here
with no foolishness, Miss Thang.

This here ain't what you--

This ain't what you want
right here.

Oh, no, no, no.
Ella, Ella, Ella.

[music]

[music]

[music]