Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:47,789
Ju ju Hey Hey
2
00:00:49,031 --> 00:00:50,594
Voodoo Lady
3
00:00:51,458 --> 00:00:53,404
I don�t mean maybe
4
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,478
black magic chile
Here he is!
5
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,840
The clock struck 13.00
6
00:00:59,649 --> 00:01:01,289
And I was searching
7
00:01:02,216 --> 00:01:04,367
For that midnight woman
8
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:07,395
of my darkest dream.
9
00:01:07,988 --> 00:01:09,778
She looked straight through me
10
00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:12,756
Her spells undo me
11
00:01:13,415 --> 00:01:15,320
My voodoo lady
12
00:01:16,165 --> 00:01:17,775
Sweet witchcraft maid
13
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,212
Hello London!
14
00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:20,698
You do
15
00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:23,194
voodoo
16
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,191
You do
17
00:01:27,442 --> 00:01:28,810
voodoo
18
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:31,649
Voodoo Lady
19
00:01:32,615 --> 00:01:34,651
I don�t mean maybe
20
00:01:35,692 --> 00:01:37,174
Voodoo Lady
21
00:01:38,016 --> 00:01:40,424
And the chills you gave me
22
00:01:40,822 --> 00:01:42,638
I beseech you
23
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,386
from Satan save me
24
00:01:46,622 --> 00:01:51,817
No one knows the secret of
the black magic box of my�
25
00:01:52,042 --> 00:01:53,609
�Voodoo Lady
26
00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:56,334
I don�t mean maybe
27
00:01:57,510 --> 00:01:59,537
Ju ju Hey Hey
28
00:01:59,981 --> 00:02:01,734
Black magic chile!
29
00:02:09,005 --> 00:02:14,402
Here we go, here we go,
here we go...!
30
00:02:14,317 --> 00:02:15,381
Come on lads!
31
00:02:15,495 --> 00:02:17,322
Come on let's see some action!
32
00:02:19,364 --> 00:02:20,357
What do you reckon?
33
00:02:20,366 --> 00:02:22,399
I fancy us tonight I really do
34
00:02:22,515 --> 00:02:23,606
Yeah? Get a result?
35
00:02:23,612 --> 00:02:26,791
Yeah... Keep it tide in
the back in the first half
36
00:02:27,044 --> 00:02:28,433
Push through in the second half
37
00:02:28,742 --> 00:02:30,750
Beat the offside trap off, result!
38
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:31,800
You reckon...
39
00:02:31,879 --> 00:02:32,930
Yeah I reckon!
40
00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:35,702
Can't be the same every
bleeding week, can it?
41
00:02:35,803 --> 00:02:37,813
I blame that one there, Fortinbras
42
00:02:38,599 --> 00:02:41,096
He comes on for 5 minutes before
the end'nd just cleans up
43
00:02:41,580 --> 00:02:44,267
But he'd never last a full
5 acts, would he?
44
00:02:44,648 --> 00:02:46,525
Hasn't got the fatal flaw
45
00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:47,804
I dunno he looks handy
46
00:02:48,013 --> 00:02:51,123
Come on Hamlet, make your
fucking mind up!
47
00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:52,713
Jesus!
48
00:02:52,719 --> 00:02:55,095
Stop soliloquising, you Danish poof!
49
00:02:56,068 --> 00:02:57,546
He's just not taking them on, is he?
50
00:02:57,547 --> 00:03:01,773
I don't understand it, he runs rings around Polonius
in act II, scene II, and then he comes on like--
51
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,504
Here we go, look
52
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,631
Uh! Oh! Ophelia!
53
00:03:05,651 --> 00:03:07,302
I said: Uh, Ophelia!
54
00:03:08,239 --> 00:03:10,631
Get thee to a nunnery!
55
00:03:10,927 --> 00:03:13,524
Get thee to a nunnery!
56
00:03:13,850 --> 00:03:14,792
He's losing it
57
00:03:14,793 --> 00:03:17,420
Nah. He is but mad, NNW!
58
00:03:17,650 --> 00:03:20,651
When the wind is southerly
he knows a hawk from a hacksaw
59
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,623
Claudius is staying down,
look! Get up!
60
00:03:22,633 --> 00:03:24,366
Get up off your knees you fat bastard!
61
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,659
Get up, you fat bleeding bastard!
62
00:03:26,695 --> 00:03:29,703
Who ate all the pies?
Who ate all the pies?
63
00:03:29,936 --> 00:03:31,017
He's fat! He's bad!
64
00:03:31,481 --> 00:03:32,860
He murdered Hamlet's dad!
65
00:03:33,016 --> 00:03:35,523
Claudius! Claudius!
66
00:03:35,526 --> 00:03:36,357
Stick it to the man with it!
67
00:03:36,478 --> 00:03:37,319
Go on, stick him!
68
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:38,011
Go on, my son!
69
00:03:38,088 --> 00:03:39,076
Percentages!
70
00:03:41,836 --> 00:03:42,929
Fatal indecision
71
00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:43,818
Fat-al!
72
00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:46,491
He wants to do it when he's
drunk asleep or in his rage
73
00:03:46,556 --> 00:03:49,322
Or incestuous pleasure of his bed
74
00:03:49,578 --> 00:03:53,842
At gaming at swearing or about
some act that hath no relish in it
75
00:03:53,991 --> 00:03:54,624
Yeah...
76
00:03:55,376 --> 00:03:56,086
Cunt
77
00:03:59,956 --> 00:04:02,699
Aye aye they're taking Polonius off
Played son!
78
00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:04,564
Who's coming on?
79
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:06,341
Young Laertes
80
00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:08,171
Come on lad! Get a grip of it!
81
00:04:08,436 --> 00:04:10,225
Ooh gravediggers are warming up
82
00:04:10,279 --> 00:04:11,057
Oh, shit
83
00:04:12,084 --> 00:04:14,072
I can't believe it's gonna be the same result
84
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:15,335
Christ!
85
00:04:15,243 --> 00:04:15,781
What?
86
00:04:15,781 --> 00:04:16,232
Alas!
87
00:04:16,238 --> 00:04:16,559
What?
88
00:04:16,572 --> 00:04:17,851
It is the poisoned cup
89
00:04:17,923 --> 00:04:18,995
It's too late!
90
00:04:22,112 --> 00:04:23,880
Talkt about an own goal
91
00:04:24,336 --> 00:04:26,450
Every bleeding time...
92
00:04:26,753 --> 00:04:28,422
Oh... The rest is silence
93
00:04:29,671 --> 00:04:32,307
Ah well. Who've we got next week?
94
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,053
Mmm... "The three sisters"
95
00:04:35,456 --> 00:04:40,623
You'll never get to Moscow!
You'll never get to Moscow!
96
00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:48,856
We play for money?
97
00:04:48,932 --> 00:04:50,071
That's the only way to play, Doc
98
00:04:51,967 --> 00:04:53,457
Would do you like to do
the honours, young man?
99
00:04:53,577 --> 00:04:54,179
I will sir
100
00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:56,387
Right... What's it to be than?
101
00:04:57,195 --> 00:04:58,071
Knockout Whist
102
00:04:58,765 --> 00:04:59,755
Knockout Whist?
103
00:05:00,428 --> 00:05:01,596
I think not, Doc
104
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,008
Let's have a round of Slippery Jack
105
00:05:04,335 --> 00:05:05,554
Excellent, sir, excellent
106
00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:08,306
I'm afraid I don't have to play that one
107
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,508
You don't know Slippery Jack, Doc?
108
00:05:12,029 --> 00:05:13,657
Doc doesn't know Slippery Jack aye...
109
00:05:13,807 --> 00:05:15,424
You don't know Slippery Jack, Doc?
110
00:05:15,426 --> 00:05:17,915
Allright, let's have a round of...
Forty Card Drag
111
00:05:18,115 --> 00:05:19,739
Good idea young man
112
00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:20,811
1, 2, 3...
113
00:05:21,505 --> 00:05:23,841
Forty Card Drag... Is that
one it's a bit like poker?
114
00:05:24,975 --> 00:05:27,281
Do you know any card game, Doc?
115
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:30,799
Yes. The Whist... Knockout
Whist, Rummy, Pontoon...
116
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,772
Let's have a game of
Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!
117
00:05:36,838 --> 00:05:38,417
Excellent, sir, excellent
118
00:05:38,815 --> 00:05:39,902
I'll the sort through this...
119
00:05:40,041 --> 00:05:41,386
Look, I don't have to play that one either!
120
00:05:41,397 --> 00:05:43,863
Everyone knows
Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!
121
00:05:44,243 --> 00:05:45,006
I don't
122
00:05:45,057 --> 00:05:45,522
You do
123
00:05:45,587 --> 00:05:46,061
I don't!
124
00:05:46,188 --> 00:05:46,671
You do!
125
00:05:47,410 --> 00:05:50,654
It's like a cross between
Hoover and Eight Men Down
126
00:05:51,992 --> 00:05:53,294
I don't know have to play those either
127
00:05:53,925 --> 00:05:54,787
That's ok
128
00:05:55,332 --> 00:05:57,250
We do stuff to explain
the rules to you, Doc
129
00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:58,230
It is very simple
130
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,193
Jack are worth 10,
kings are worth 3
131
00:06:00,373 --> 00:06:01,994
Apart from one-eyed jacks
which're wildcards
132
00:06:02,098 --> 00:06:03,303
Yes but we'll come to
those in a minute
133
00:06:03,332 --> 00:06:05,206
Round 1 we get a hand
of 9, round 2 hand of 7
134
00:06:05,259 --> 00:06:06,318
Twos're wildcards
135
00:06:06,442 --> 00:06:07,182
But we'll come to
those in a minute
136
00:06:07,319 --> 00:06:09,596
Apart from diamonds,
which retain their face value
137
00:06:09,649 --> 00:06:11,016
Except the king of diamonds, obviously
138
00:06:11,045 --> 00:06:11,853
Obviously
139
00:06:11,968 --> 00:06:16,284
We play in sequence, unless you can match a pair
or play a card in ascending or descending order
140
00:06:16,536 --> 00:06:18,312
If you can, that's a Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!
141
00:06:18,473 --> 00:06:22,479
You stand up, pick up all the cards at the table
and shout: "Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!"
142
00:06:22,486 --> 00:06:24,661
The winner is the man with
the most tricks after 15 hands
143
00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:26,255
You'll pick all the rest as we play
144
00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:30,367
Shall we say a pound a round?
145
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:31,935
Just one thing...
146
00:06:32,281 --> 00:06:35,482
Are queens worth...12?
147
00:06:37,502 --> 00:06:38,557
What queens?
148
00:06:40,071 --> 00:06:40,923
Queens in the pack
149
00:06:41,377 --> 00:06:43,006
The pack? Sorry, what's the 'pack'?
150
00:06:43,010 --> 00:06:44,023
He means the deck
151
00:06:46,112 --> 00:06:47,529
Doc, there are no queens
152
00:06:47,556 --> 00:06:48,694
We play with the french pack
153
00:06:48,751 --> 00:06:49,454
"Deck", my
154
00:06:49,786 --> 00:06:51,181
A French deck, thank your editing
155
00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:51,913
Thank you, young man
156
00:06:56,275 --> 00:06:57,839
Right who's to lead?
157
00:06:57,940 --> 00:06:58,803
That's you, Doc
158
00:06:59,395 --> 00:07:01,689
Oh... I'm not really sure how to start
159
00:07:01,861 --> 00:07:03,964
Well just put a card on the table
160
00:07:04,193 --> 00:07:04,639
Come on!
161
00:07:06,868 --> 00:07:07,706
A five!
162
00:07:08,397 --> 00:07:09,676
You can�t lead with a five!
163
00:07:10,001 --> 00:07:12,905
This is Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!
not Bamalama-Fizz-Vaj!
164
00:07:12,913 --> 00:07:13,360
Sorry
165
00:07:15,534 --> 00:07:16,575
Start again
166
00:07:30,112 --> 00:07:32,380
Very interesting, Mr Bond
167
00:07:40,879 --> 00:07:42,356
Ace in the hole
168
00:07:46,027 --> 00:07:47,696
Ten...
(Sean Connery impression)
169
00:07:51,766 --> 00:07:52,271
What?
170
00:07:52,311 --> 00:07:52,682
Come on, Doc
171
00:07:53,157 --> 00:07:53,572
What?
172
00:07:53,581 --> 00:07:55,433
That's a Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!
173
00:07:55,404 --> 00:07:56,178
Is it?
174
00:07:56,208 --> 00:07:57,421
You can't touch'em!
175
00:07:57,429 --> 00:07:58,068
Why not?
176
00:07:58,123 --> 00:08:00,416
You've got to say Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!
177
00:08:00,393 --> 00:08:01,737
Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!
178
00:08:01,738 --> 00:08:02,664
After stand up first
179
00:08:02,642 --> 00:08:04,706
and say: "Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!"
180
00:08:05,057 --> 00:08:06,650
Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!
181
00:08:06,659 --> 00:08:07,472
But you had no named your pairs
182
00:08:07,459 --> 00:08:07,922
What?
183
00:08:08,094 --> 00:08:08,907
Name your pairs
184
00:08:09,130 --> 00:08:10,277
You didn't say about naming pairs
185
00:08:10,284 --> 00:08:11,474
You put down a five!
186
00:08:11,481 --> 00:08:11,883
Yes?
187
00:08:11,905 --> 00:08:13,476
If you put down a five
you must have pairs
188
00:08:13,477 --> 00:08:14,226
Why must I have pairs?
189
00:08:14,262 --> 00:08:15,766
Because that's a
Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!
190
00:08:15,813 --> 00:08:16,322
Oh for god's s...
191
00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:17,551
You can't look at'em!
192
00:08:17,557 --> 00:08:18,312
Why, I'm supposed to remember them?
193
00:08:18,433 --> 00:08:20,108
STOP IT!
194
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,736
Look: jacks worth 10, kings worth 3
195
00:08:26,818 --> 00:08:27,892
Apart from one-eyed jacks witch...
196
00:08:30,429 --> 00:08:33,807
Why can't we just play something simple?
197
00:08:34,476 --> 00:08:37,810
And why do we only every play
things that you two know the rules of?
198
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:38,930
It was like this when we were kids!
199
00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:42,319
You use to put bets on
bloody Hungry Hippos
200
00:08:44,037 --> 00:08:48,164
Why can't we just play...the Hangman
201
00:08:49,286 --> 00:08:50,055
...or something
202
00:08:54,764 --> 00:08:55,814
Alright, Doc
203
00:08:55,852 --> 00:08:57,122
Whatever you said, Doc
204
00:08:57,263 --> 00:08:58,252
Hangman it is!
205
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,194
Hangman sounds good to me
206
00:09:00,233 --> 00:09:00,800
I'm sorry
207
00:09:00,802 --> 00:09:01,892
Sorry, Hangman
208
00:09:06,038 --> 00:09:07,737
We play in canadian rules or italian?
209
00:09:15,845 --> 00:09:19,580
Ok...Do we have a Pam Doove
or Pamela Doove?
210
00:09:21,781 --> 00:09:22,897
I'm Pam Doove
211
00:09:22,897 --> 00:09:23,902
Hello!
212
00:09:25,222 --> 00:09:25,985
How are you?
213
00:09:26,462 --> 00:09:27,257
A bit nervous
214
00:09:29,170 --> 00:09:31,046
Is it Pam or Pamela?
215
00:09:31,109 --> 00:09:32,455
Pam, Pamela, whatever
216
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:36,437
- We stick to Pam, I know a Pamela
- Fine
217
00:09:36,649 --> 00:09:42,584
My name is Jed Bishop...
I'm directing the play
218
00:09:43,634 --> 00:09:44,947
What are you doing for us today?
219
00:09:45,806 --> 00:09:48,459
I've got a Shakespeare or a modern
220
00:09:48,585 --> 00:09:49,416
What's your modern?
221
00:09:49,441 --> 00:09:50,155
It's "Top Girls"
222
00:09:50,511 --> 00:09:52,925
Churchill mm...
What's your Shakespeare?
223
00:09:53,032 --> 00:09:55,561
Isabella's bleeding scene
from "Measure for Measure"
224
00:09:55,882 --> 00:09:58,300
Oh... I'd like to see that, please
225
00:09:58,305 --> 00:09:58,676
Ok
226
00:10:00,228 --> 00:10:03,511
An interesting one Mesure... I directed
a production a couple of seasons back...
227
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:04,649
Oh no!
228
00:10:06,952 --> 00:10:12,485
It's ok... We had a guy playing
Isabella, a sort of kabuki thing
229
00:10:12,490 --> 00:10:16,291
Tell me, what drew you
to this piece in particular?
230
00:10:16,494 --> 00:10:17,330
The language
231
00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:24,348
Really good images within
the text and I like the metre
232
00:10:24,855 --> 00:10:25,566
Go on
233
00:10:26,115 --> 00:10:28,393
Oh and I think these emotions in it
234
00:10:28,399 --> 00:10:30,399
Yes, she's very pressed isn't she, Isabella?
235
00:10:30,404 --> 00:10:31,946
Yes but I'd like that about to the fact
236
00:10:31,951 --> 00:10:33,554
she's feeling all these different things
237
00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:35,515
and yet she's a really calm person
238
00:10:35,516 --> 00:10:39,012
and she menages to keep all...in
239
00:10:40,053 --> 00:10:40,932
Good...
240
00:10:41,184 --> 00:10:44,102
Good! Well, in your own time
241
00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:25,649
Powerful stuff
242
00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:26,230
Yes...
243
00:11:27,386 --> 00:11:29,441
Tell me Pam...have you trained?
244
00:11:29,441 --> 00:11:30,029
No
245
00:11:38,855 --> 00:11:43,910
Saturday, 16 march 1912...
246
00:11:44,669 --> 00:11:48,300
Oates would not give up
hope to the very end
247
00:11:48,757 --> 00:11:50,320
He was a brave soul
248
00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:54,806
He said "I'm just going outside
249
00:11:55,404 --> 00:11:56,731
and may be some time"
250
00:11:58,182 --> 00:11:59,893
He walked though into the blizzard
251
00:12:00,693 --> 00:12:04,500
and we have not seen him, since...
252
00:12:07,987 --> 00:12:08,987
Sir?
253
00:12:09,394 --> 00:12:10,475
Yes, Birdie?
254
00:12:12,310 --> 00:12:15,264
Well... I know what've
done for an everthing
255
00:12:16,228 --> 00:12:16,881
Yes...
256
00:12:18,052 --> 00:12:19,331
I was just wondering...
257
00:12:20,624 --> 00:12:24,373
Mrs Scott, your wife
258
00:12:25,426 --> 00:12:26,192
Kathleen
259
00:12:26,517 --> 00:12:26,988
Yes
260
00:12:28,391 --> 00:12:31,444
Do you... have any regrets?
261
00:12:33,521 --> 00:12:35,546
I suppose I'd like to be the better husband to her
262
00:12:36,635 --> 00:12:37,949
and a father to little Peter
263
00:12:39,253 --> 00:12:41,853
I regret I should never
again see her lovely face
264
00:12:43,339 --> 00:12:46,242
No hear the sweet music of her laughs
265
00:12:53,158 --> 00:12:54,574
Not anythin' else?
266
00:12:57,930 --> 00:12:58,700
What do you mean?
267
00:12:59,056 --> 00:12:59,767
Doesn't matter
268
00:13:02,125 --> 00:13:03,702
I'm afraid uncle Bill ebbed Birdie
269
00:13:03,711 --> 00:13:04,450
Do you think so, sir?
270
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:05,685
He hasn't moved for more that an hour
271
00:13:06,974 --> 00:13:07,819
Good all Bill...
272
00:13:08,717 --> 00:13:10,579
I wish now I never ask'm to come
273
00:13:11,743 --> 00:13:12,543
He was the best!
274
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:15,282
You musn't blame yourself, sir.
It's rotten luck that's all
275
00:13:21,276 --> 00:13:22,117
Sir...
276
00:13:23,671 --> 00:13:24,896
Mrs Scott again...
277
00:13:26,295 --> 00:13:27,239
Yes?
278
00:13:28,545 --> 00:13:29,610
What are her tits like?
279
00:13:30,838 --> 00:13:31,856
I beg your pardon?
280
00:13:31,943 --> 00:13:32,690
Nothing, sir!
281
00:13:32,773 --> 00:13:33,642
I've heard quite distinctly
282
00:13:33,909 --> 00:13:35,855
No it was the wrong thing to say!
Ignore me, sir!
283
00:13:39,798 --> 00:13:41,436
I'd should lissen to Amundsen
284
00:13:41,972 --> 00:13:43,120
He told me to take more dogs
285
00:13:43,124 --> 00:13:45,772
I said to him: "I'm going
South, any advice?"
286
00:13:46,834 --> 00:13:50,424
He said: "Con, dogs, dogs and dogs again"
287
00:13:53,939 --> 00:13:56,294
- Sir, d'you ever brough you off with a hand?
- Birdie!
288
00:13:58,322 --> 00:14:01,304
I've been patient and tolerant,
this's really beyond the pale
289
00:14:01,313 --> 00:14:04,669
The thing is I've never known
a woman in a fully sense
290
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,100
I've never had a tender
female hand on my...
291
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:09,460
Well any hands for that matter!
292
00:14:14,099 --> 00:14:15,246
What are you trying to say?
293
00:14:17,973 --> 00:14:20,102
Well we're going to die, sir
294
00:14:26,359 --> 00:14:29,102
The three of us!
Three men in a tent!
295
00:14:30,491 --> 00:14:31,280
Yes?
296
00:14:32,687 --> 00:14:34,425
I just though...
297
00:14:34,426 --> 00:14:36,596
Why don't we go out
with a smile in our faces?
298
00:14:36,601 --> 00:14:39,911
Bowers!
This is unbelievable!
299
00:14:40,483 --> 00:14:42,170
You think I've had such fate in you!
300
00:14:42,307 --> 00:14:45,960
You've been such a brick, such a
tire of strenght for the entire expedition
301
00:14:46,551 --> 00:14:49,658
And now at the hour of ultimate
trial you'll give into these...
302
00:14:49,701 --> 00:14:52,154
...base unchristian desires?
303
00:14:56,737 --> 00:14:58,370
I don't mind been the woman if that's...
304
00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:00,000
That's no what I meant to do, right?
305
00:15:08,242 --> 00:15:11,299
My wife's got a fanny
like a bear trapped hat
306
00:15:17,846 --> 00:15:18,798
Bill?
307
00:15:20,348 --> 00:15:22,385
Go on, Con! The lad's got a point!
308
00:15:23,837 --> 00:15:25,131
You do him I'll do you!
309
00:15:25,249 --> 00:15:26,110
Oh, Bill!
310
00:15:28,168 --> 00:15:29,746
Well, where's the harm?
311
00:15:30,271 --> 00:15:31,346
No one need know
312
00:15:32,911 --> 00:15:37,276
Or do you have to write everything
down in the fucking diary of yours!
313
00:15:42,604 --> 00:15:45,886
I do keep a diary, a secret diary!
Would you like to hear some?
314
00:15:46,106 --> 00:15:51,276
"march 4th: awoke today with a
morning glory like a tend peg"
315
00:15:52,605 --> 00:15:55,031
I remembered that day,
I was just the same!
316
00:15:55,483 --> 00:15:57,075
I could only get my trousers on!
317
00:15:58,054 --> 00:16:00,649
I have to bang in on the
bellend with a crowbar...
318
00:16:03,732 --> 00:16:04,796
Awww!
319
00:16:06,430 --> 00:16:08,055
Pull yourself together!
320
00:16:09,779 --> 00:16:13,069
Bill, Birdie, for the sake of what
we fellows've been through together
321
00:16:13,076 --> 00:16:15,503
let at least die like English gentlemen
322
00:16:16,931 --> 00:16:17,833
Please!
323
00:16:38,507 --> 00:16:41,299
Alright Birdie I will do you first!
But I get go before her!
324
00:17:19,973 --> 00:17:20,941
Is this yours or mine?
325
00:17:23,583 --> 00:17:24,555
It's "ours"
326
00:17:24,556 --> 00:17:26,170
Come on, Russell...
Don't talk like that
327
00:17:26,669 --> 00:17:27,432
Like what?
328
00:17:27,639 --> 00:17:28,464
Yours or mine?
329
00:17:28,943 --> 00:17:30,076
You paid for it
330
00:17:30,384 --> 00:17:31,383
Meaning?
331
00:17:32,235 --> 00:17:33,600
It was a present, Robert
332
00:17:33,713 --> 00:17:35,006
Well, you keep it then
333
00:17:37,068 --> 00:17:37,870
I don't want it
334
00:17:39,151 --> 00:17:39,987
Give it to your boyfriend
335
00:17:42,156 --> 00:17:43,256
Haven't got a boyfriend
336
00:17:45,475 --> 00:17:46,414
You did have...
337
00:17:52,728 --> 00:17:53,560
Don't answer it!
338
00:17:53,858 --> 00:17:55,265
I have to, I'm expecting someone
339
00:17:55,272 --> 00:17:55,943
Who?
340
00:17:56,885 --> 00:17:57,550
Tish
341
00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,840
Oh shit, not her...!
342
00:18:00,968 --> 00:18:02,521
Hello stranger!
343
00:18:04,408 --> 00:18:05,989
God, you look awful!
344
00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:08,309
Hi Robert, babes!
345
00:18:09,367 --> 00:18:10,619
Come with a snugging time!
346
00:18:12,334 --> 00:18:15,402
Lissen could I have a complete
pain about my ciggy of you?
347
00:18:16,023 --> 00:18:18,703
I've just been sitting on a
bus for like half an hour
348
00:18:18,768 --> 00:18:22,189
and I'm lying: gimme nicotine,
gimme caffeine! Now please!
349
00:18:23,414 --> 00:18:24,904
Oh cheers babe, you're a star
350
00:18:25,101 --> 00:18:26,950
Tish, it's not a very good time
351
00:18:27,127 --> 00:18:29,780
I'll bum you my backrolly
when I'll got some skins
352
00:18:30,437 --> 00:18:35,712
I've just been down to Camden market to buy
this floppy felt hat'nd some crystals'nd shit
353
00:18:38,287 --> 00:18:42,249
It's fab isn'it? I'm gonna wearing
to Mardi Gras next year
354
00:18:42,262 --> 00:18:43,904
you guys're gonna love it!
355
00:18:47,521 --> 00:18:50,025
Close 28! Yeah!
356
00:18:51,408 --> 00:18:53,561
Anyway, I'm sitting on the bus
357
00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:56,806
and I start gain these
really weard vibes
358
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:59,933
because I'm jewed to stop
blobbing next week anyway
359
00:19:02,798 --> 00:19:04,262
God I love gay guys!
360
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:08,889
You can actually talk about period
and not feel guilty, yes!
361
00:19:09,001 --> 00:19:09,572
Russell!
362
00:19:09,573 --> 00:19:10,901
So I'm sitting there
363
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:14,909
And there's a guy next to me
and he's like magicuteness
364
00:19:15,163 --> 00:19:16,942
He was to die for!
365
00:19:17,533 --> 00:19:19,259
You guys would have loved him!
366
00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:21,677
Expecially you Robert,
you're such a slot
367
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:28,175
Uh, text message from
Scott and Ian! Eccellente!
368
00:19:30,389 --> 00:19:31,321
Look I think I better be going
369
00:19:31,322 --> 00:19:31,937
No...
370
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:33,697
Oh you have babes?
371
00:19:33,732 --> 00:19:35,474
Ok darling, don't be a stranger
372
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:40,253
Oh and Robert, could Tish bum
another ciggy off you please?
373
00:19:41,392 --> 00:19:43,631
God I'm such a fag-hag
374
00:19:45,786 --> 00:19:47,913
Here the all pack!
I'll give up anyway
375
00:19:47,923 --> 00:19:50,591
Oh main of generosity!
376
00:19:50,592 --> 00:19:52,632
Cheers darling you're really as star
377
00:19:52,698 --> 00:19:54,747
Come give Tish a
big kiss'nd snuggle
378
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:01,596
Now give Russell a
big kiss'nd snuggle
379
00:20:04,938 --> 00:20:06,815
Ohh...They're so cute!
380
00:20:07,219 --> 00:20:09,018
I love gay guys, I really do
381
00:20:10,614 --> 00:20:13,666
Anyway Russel, I've decided
to hand in my notes at work
382
00:20:13,853 --> 00:20:16,219
The women're all bitches
and the guys're bastards
383
00:20:16,366 --> 00:20:17,843
apart from the gay guys, obviously
384
00:20:20,075 --> 00:20:21,116
Eurgh, what you doing?
385
00:20:23,519 --> 00:20:24,544
He's left me
386
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,222
Robert's left me.
He's not coming back.
387
00:20:29,747 --> 00:20:31,038
Darling!
388
00:20:32,656 --> 00:20:33,966
Was he sleeping with someone else ?
389
00:20:34,385 --> 00:20:35,740
I don't think so
390
00:20:36,261 --> 00:20:38,047
Ohh you poor thing
391
00:20:51,295 --> 00:20:52,353
I just get this
392
00:20:52,821 --> 00:20:54,061
Hi Scott, babes
393
00:20:55,177 --> 00:20:56,563
I'm gonna be late, round
394
00:20:56,915 --> 00:21:00,178
Well I'm Russell's house
and Robert's just left him!
395
00:21:00,744 --> 00:21:03,348
I know, there such a
dram'queen, I love her
396
00:21:04,788 --> 00:21:05,726
What's that?
397
00:21:06,228 --> 00:21:07,809
You are kidding me!
398
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,247
Scott slept with Robert
three weeks ago!
399
00:21:12,497 --> 00:21:15,321
Scott, what are you like?
400
00:21:17,108 --> 00:21:18,730
I'm so jeal of you gay guys
401
00:21:18,847 --> 00:21:21,273
you all sleep with eachother
and there's no consequences.
402
00:21:22,697 --> 00:21:24,930
Lissen babes, I'm gonna be
out of here as quick as I can so
403
00:21:24,931 --> 00:21:26,659
let's see at The Mixer in 20'
404
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,503
I want all the juicy goss, capisci?
405
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,082
Oh and Scott! I bought the hat
406
00:21:31,572 --> 00:21:33,914
To die for!
407
00:21:35,647 --> 00:21:38,468
Ok ciao for now babes,
bye, bye, bye....
408
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,236
Yes bye, bye, bye...
409
00:22:18,223 --> 00:22:21,447
Me think Russell need
a big kiss'nd snuggle
410
00:22:21,201 --> 00:22:21,751
No
411
00:22:21,822 --> 00:22:24,485
Yes! Come on darling let it all out
412
00:22:24,771 --> 00:22:30,352
I bet you in one week you'll
slept with like 50 different men
413
00:22:30,454 --> 00:22:31,736
I think you better go
414
00:22:31,737 --> 00:22:33,680
No way, ozay!
415
00:22:34,022 --> 00:22:36,144
Now you babes get
youself into that kitchen
416
00:22:36,462 --> 00:22:39,064
Gimme nicotine!
Gimme caffeine!
417
00:22:39,097 --> 00:22:41,387
Fetch 'our big fuck
off box of tissues
418
00:22:41,853 --> 00:22:47,842
and me and you is gonna sit ourselves down
and have a girly girl talking, capisci?
419
00:22:47,998 --> 00:22:50,220
I am not a girl!
420
00:22:50,949 --> 00:22:52,033
I'm a man!
421
00:22:52,563 --> 00:22:57,291
At least I've had a boyfriend which is more
there's been said for you, stupid fucking shit!
422
00:23:06,836 --> 00:23:08,614
I just love gay guys...
423
00:23:17,904 --> 00:23:19,750
Right, we just come this way...
424
00:23:25,820 --> 00:23:28,923
The entrance of this particular
cave is quite low down so...
425
00:23:29,729 --> 00:23:30,994
mind you don't bump your heads
426
00:23:32,944 --> 00:23:37,964
Not a lot of people know that Stump
Hole Cavern takes his name from the
427
00:23:38,184 --> 00:23:39,268
cripple prostitute
428
00:23:45,950 --> 00:23:49,246
who use to plied her trade
here in the 17th century
429
00:23:50,687 --> 00:23:52,139
If you look carefully up there
430
00:23:52,805 --> 00:23:57,699
you can still see her tariff etched
into the limestone... in soot
431
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,806
"Shoot thy muck 'pon my bristols and visage:
432
00:24:08,401 --> 00:24:09,765
...a penny"
433
00:24:11,388 --> 00:24:12,718
"Poop this shitter:
434
00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:16,624
...a guinea"
435
00:24:18,269 --> 00:24:19,361
"Like dogs:
436
00:24:20,688 --> 00:24:21,602
...gratis"
437
00:24:23,243 --> 00:24:26,920
Stick close behind me, mind the
shale on this steps, it's quite slippy
438
00:24:29,337 --> 00:24:33,682
We are part of much wider network of
caverns that riddle the entire county
439
00:24:34,242 --> 00:24:39,055
including the much larger Redscar
Cavern located half a mile west
440
00:24:39,635 --> 00:24:42,314
A trifle flashy for my taste, I have to say
441
00:24:42,385 --> 00:24:45,583
with their gift shop,
granary style cafeteria
442
00:24:45,588 --> 00:24:49,839
and 100% safety record placed
all over the promotion literature
443
00:24:51,150 --> 00:24:52,794
But there you go.
444
00:24:53,279 --> 00:24:56,150
Now we stay in single file we'll
make our way into the main cavern
445
00:24:58,211 --> 00:25:02,170
It's worth pointing out that Redscar
was served with a council notice
446
00:25:02,481 --> 00:25:05,618
ordering them to replace
115 yards of faulty wiring
447
00:25:06,177 --> 00:25:09,921
Put it in this way: I wouldn't like to get
caught down there in a thunderstorm
448
00:25:10,265 --> 00:25:15,034
and no amount of trilobites in perspex
or stegosaurus' shape pencil tops
449
00:25:15,338 --> 00:25:17,327
is going to change that
450
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:28,415
This cavern may be familiar to you from
its appearances on the small screen
451
00:25:28,875 --> 00:25:32,079
En 1974 you couldn't move
down here for Cybermen
452
00:25:33,861 --> 00:25:39,151
In fact, in an amusing incident Tom Baker
sprained his ankle on that rock there
453
00:25:40,826 --> 00:25:43,192
This goes to show how easy the accidents happen
454
00:25:45,104 --> 00:25:49,947
We've had all the celebrities here including
the late Don Henderson of Bullman fame
455
00:25:50,951 --> 00:25:52,558
The Chuckle Brothers
456
00:25:54,963 --> 00:25:58,368
in an episode setting in
Barry's secret lemonade factory
457
00:26:03,208 --> 00:26:09,661
And Michael Buerk and the 999 team
458
00:26:11,190 --> 00:26:15,165
It's at this stage of the tour I'd like
to raise the subject of darkness
459
00:26:15,256 --> 00:26:18,162
There's nothing quite like the
darkness we get down in the caves
460
00:26:18,224 --> 00:26:22,606
and to illustrate this we turn out
all the lights for a few moments
461
00:26:25,269 --> 00:26:30,061
I myself not fond of the darkness.
I sleep with the lights on now
462
00:26:31,366 --> 00:26:33,509
It's in the darkness
I see the boy's face
463
00:26:37,784 --> 00:26:39,723
eyes protruding
464
00:26:40,043 --> 00:26:41,333
tongue out
465
00:26:41,693 --> 00:26:43,036
black
466
00:26:44,748 --> 00:26:46,287
If you look over here...
467
00:26:46,912 --> 00:26:51,025
you'll see limestone formations for
which Stump Hole is more famous...
468
00:26:51,342 --> 00:26:52,480
Use to be more famous
469
00:26:52,755 --> 00:26:55,728
And over the years lads have given
them a variety of comical names
470
00:26:55,734 --> 00:26:58,035
depending on what
they mental look like
471
00:26:58,044 --> 00:26:59,645
So here we have Santa Claus
472
00:27:00,113 --> 00:27:01,451
his beard and sack
473
00:27:03,493 --> 00:27:04,705
The Wombles!
474
00:27:05,033 --> 00:27:07,863
You see how the sediment forms
the brim of Orinoco's hat
475
00:27:09,184 --> 00:27:10,490
the specimen jar
476
00:27:11,402 --> 00:27:12,240
the toffee apple
477
00:27:12,830 --> 00:27:14,515
and... Errol Flynn
478
00:27:22,407 --> 00:27:26,854
This one over here, people say to me "Mick, it
doesn't look like anything at all" but i don't know
479
00:27:27,233 --> 00:27:29,206
when i look at it I seem to
see a little pair of hands
480
00:27:30,459 --> 00:27:32,116
clutching at a slippery, wet rope
481
00:27:34,356 --> 00:27:36,523
sliding down into the black water
482
00:27:39,095 --> 00:27:40,789
Sometimes I'll stand here for hours
483
00:27:43,245 --> 00:27:44,758
...just looking at it
484
00:27:48,814 --> 00:27:51,668
That concludes the main part
of the tour, if you'll follow me
485
00:27:52,844 --> 00:27:57,773
Michael Bird did say to me: "Mick, you can't
go on blaming yourself, it wasn't your fault
486
00:27:58,771 --> 00:28:00,822
But I don't know. Young kiddie like that
487
00:28:00,843 --> 00:28:01,980
whole life ahead of him
488
00:28:02,386 --> 00:28:04,714
"School trip tragedy, local man blamed"
489
00:28:05,877 --> 00:28:06,864
Every day the same.
490
00:28:07,128 --> 00:28:08,492
Parade of blank faces.
491
00:28:08,836 --> 00:28:10,950
The constant drip drip
from the cavern roof
492
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,464
The cold indifference of the ancien rock
493
00:28:14,852 --> 00:28:17,246
But you keep going, don't you?
494
00:28:18,271 --> 00:28:20,585
It's like the moss growing around
that little light-bulb there
495
00:28:21,156 --> 00:28:23,063
Life finds a way.
496
00:28:25,415 --> 00:28:30,656
Look at that skein of iron oxide, you
wouldn't find anything like that in Redscar
497
00:28:32,243 --> 00:28:33,595
Remember the guide on your way out
498
00:28:34,948 --> 00:28:35,793
'nk you
499
00:28:44,016 --> 00:28:45,260
Hello Mrs. Hull!
500
00:28:45,261 --> 00:28:47,903
Hello Tony!
Julieeee!
501
00:28:47,983 --> 00:28:49,574
Your boyfriend's here!
502
00:28:49,982 --> 00:28:50,934
Come through Tony
503
00:28:55,350 --> 00:28:56,460
This is Julie's dad
504
00:28:56,462 --> 00:28:59,298
So they tell me... Hello Tony!
505
00:28:59,416 --> 00:28:59,816
Alright?
506
00:28:59,967 --> 00:29:01,669
Sit down Tony, she want be long now
507
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:05,843
Ehi!
508
00:29:12,701 --> 00:29:13,733
Julieee!
509
00:29:14,266 --> 00:29:18,526
So not be long now, Tony. She's like her
mum, trying on every dress she's got
510
00:29:18,563 --> 00:29:20,597
I wont take me long,
I have got two dresses
511
00:29:21,689 --> 00:29:23,237
Charlie won't buy me clothes!
512
00:29:24,266 --> 00:29:26,448
She's lying Tony, I do buy her clothes
513
00:29:27,504 --> 00:29:29,507
She doesn't cap' fit into anymore
514
00:29:31,458 --> 00:29:33,003
He can talk cunty
515
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:39,650
You're going for them cigs at once?
516
00:29:39,651 --> 00:29:40,524
Yes, in a minute
517
00:29:46,696 --> 00:29:47,745
What are you up to tonight, Tony?
518
00:29:47,746 --> 00:29:49,202
Oh just go for a meal ma'm
519
00:29:49,220 --> 00:29:51,639
Hey you wanna go down Swiss,
they do good meals now
520
00:29:51,908 --> 00:29:54,602
Not going down Swiss! It's where
he tooks our on honeymoon
521
00:29:54,606 --> 00:29:55,481
He's a right dump!
522
00:29:55,779 --> 00:29:58,301
No it's not, Tony. They've
done it up since than
523
00:29:58,534 --> 00:30:01,477
It's like a big ship now
with shelves and nets...
524
00:30:01,512 --> 00:30:02,525
And it stinks of fish!
525
00:30:17,151 --> 00:30:18,603
We're going down that
Luigi, d'you know him?
526
00:30:18,662 --> 00:30:19,319
Oh, yes
527
00:30:20,223 --> 00:30:22,642
His name is not Luigi, remember?
528
00:30:24,181 --> 00:30:26,919
Do you want a beer, Tony?
You can have one
529
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:27,859
Don't have it if you don't want one
530
00:30:27,860 --> 00:30:29,650
Oh let the lad have a beer
531
00:30:29,691 --> 00:30:33,164
Don't want to beer! You do have to get
drunk to have good time dear, Tony?
532
00:30:33,247 --> 00:30:36,003
You would if you're
married to "that", Tony!
533
00:30:38,145 --> 00:30:39,524
Aww she's lovely
534
00:30:39,525 --> 00:30:41,360
You're joking, are you?
535
00:30:41,361 --> 00:30:45,386
Charlie, if you want a beer just get one
don't make a laid upon you, fat pig!
536
00:30:45,387 --> 00:30:47,100
Shut up you, bastard!
537
00:30:49,336 --> 00:30:52,579
- I just going check...
- You fucking sit down!
538
00:30:53,253 --> 00:30:54,657
Do anyth' frightened, you!
539
00:30:56,094 --> 00:30:56,611
Stella!
540
00:30:56,615 --> 00:30:57,281
What?
541
00:31:05,032 --> 00:31:06,773
So are you working, Tony?
542
00:31:06,789 --> 00:31:08,030
I'm at college
543
00:31:08,096 --> 00:31:09,523
I bet you're brainy,
What're you learnin'?
544
00:31:09,524 --> 00:31:10,149
Modern languages
545
00:31:10,433 --> 00:31:11,737
Do you follow football, Tony?
546
00:31:11,740 --> 00:31:12,564
Speak a language
547
00:31:12,565 --> 00:31:13,605
Who's your team?
548
00:31:13,486 --> 00:31:14,466
No I don't really follow football
549
00:31:14,586 --> 00:31:15,126
Did you do Spanish?
550
00:31:15,272 --> 00:31:15,849
Un poquito
551
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,358
Un poquito! D'you
like then Gipsy Kings!
552
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:21,600
'Cause you hear, dear, Tony?
553
00:31:21,601 --> 00:31:22,401
Feel alright
554
00:31:22,530 --> 00:31:25,348
I'm coming to live with you,
you could be my toy-boy
555
00:31:25,349 --> 00:31:27,759
Take it, Tony!
You bloody welcome to her!
556
00:31:28,761 --> 00:31:31,044
If you aren't going out with Julie,
I can show you some things...
557
00:31:31,100 --> 00:31:33,389
I've seen them, Tony.
Don't make you seek
558
00:31:40,168 --> 00:31:41,323
Julie won't know want to do!
559
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:42,643
Big, fat ass!
560
00:31:43,564 --> 00:31:46,134
She's just a stupid little girl!
She wears glasses!
561
00:31:46,477 --> 00:31:47,375
I know!
562
00:31:47,409 --> 00:31:51,380
- I could going to college, Tony
- Don't lissen to him, Tony, he's a liar!
563
00:31:51,381 --> 00:31:54,878
- She splat me dry!
- Such a boring man!
564
00:31:54,908 --> 00:31:56,570
Well look around you!
She wants for announce!
565
00:31:56,649 --> 00:31:57,799
We have no sex in months!
566
00:31:57,908 --> 00:32:00,111
What can I do, Tony, I get tired
567
00:32:00,112 --> 00:32:02,346
- You know I can't see colors?!
- Make something happen, Tony!
568
00:32:02,453 --> 00:32:04,191
- Please, Tony!-
- Tony, please!
569
00:32:08,471 --> 00:32:09,648
I'm going to get Julie
570
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:11,953
Excuse me
571
00:32:14,180 --> 00:32:18,472
Don't end all-black like us,
Tony, you're still young
572
00:32:19,903 --> 00:32:21,842
Charlie's only 42, look at him...
573
00:32:23,345 --> 00:32:24,500
...it's a joke
574
00:32:27,015 --> 00:32:28,829
Where did these years go, Tony?
575
00:32:29,529 --> 00:32:31,507
I've lost all years
576
00:32:32,801 --> 00:32:35,376
We've never done now!
You learn Spanish!
577
00:32:39,267 --> 00:32:40,856
Mind our your good, son
578
00:32:48,677 --> 00:32:52,861
Oh, Charlie...
What we gonna do now?
579
00:32:55,463 --> 00:32:56,630
Shall we go down Swiss?
580
00:32:56,646 --> 00:32:57,305
Oh yeah
581
00:33:11,088 --> 00:33:14,153
...and I've heard tell she'll
soon own half the county!
582
00:33:14,507 --> 00:33:18,471
I've learnt anything in my long years
as majesty of this district, Mr.Fiztherbert
583
00:33:18,723 --> 00:33:21,463
It's never to unrestimate
Mr. Sarah Sheridan
584
00:33:21,465 --> 00:33:22,419
True, true!
585
00:33:24,259 --> 00:33:26,890
I say... Who's that fellow under?
586
00:33:26,911 --> 00:33:32,118
There you've upon a mystery Mr. Peel.
That is not other than Sir Quincy Styre
587
00:33:32,326 --> 00:33:32,837
Styre?
588
00:33:33,008 --> 00:33:35,296
Aye, the most infamous
black guy all of London
589
00:33:35,297 --> 00:33:38,048
I've heard tell he soon own half the county
590
00:33:38,965 --> 00:33:39,828
Or the other half...
591
00:33:41,295 --> 00:33:42,117
Yes
592
00:33:43,338 --> 00:33:46,079
Sink me Fiztherbert!
I don't like the cut of him
593
00:33:46,356 --> 00:33:47,292
Not one jot
594
00:33:47,885 --> 00:33:50,063
Let's see if we can rouse
him from his contemplations
595
00:33:50,064 --> 00:33:50,610
Take care, Peel!
596
00:33:50,610 --> 00:33:51,407
- Take care
- Take care
597
00:33:51,408 --> 00:33:52,341
- Aye
- Aye
598
00:33:55,845 --> 00:34:01,856
It's not for nothing that Sir Quincy has a reputation
to claim he is in league with the devil himself
599
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:05,531
Well...
600
00:34:07,818 --> 00:34:09,156
devil or not...
601
00:34:10,387 --> 00:34:12,066
...we shall see
602
00:34:16,450 --> 00:34:17,977
To his majesty king James
603
00:34:18,533 --> 00:34:21,897
may he live long...in exile
604
00:34:25,539 --> 00:34:27,791
You not join me in a loyal toast, sir?
605
00:34:30,425 --> 00:34:32,882
- I'm addressing you sir!
- Have a care, Peel!
606
00:34:34,783 --> 00:34:39,036
My loyalty's lying out square
607
00:34:39,709 --> 00:34:41,262
Mr. Peel
608
00:34:41,618 --> 00:34:43,008
You know me sir?
609
00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:46,330
Better than you think
610
00:34:50,782 --> 00:34:51,979
My friend meant no arm...
611
00:34:52,020 --> 00:34:58,350
Thank you Fitzherbert! I am a racionalist.
I'm not afraid to this gentlemen's dark reputation.
612
00:34:58,353 --> 00:35:01,761
Racionalist? A man of science
613
00:35:02,154 --> 00:35:07,872
A gentlemen should think more carefully
before banding around such voguish terms
614
00:35:07,946 --> 00:35:13,893
This's not vogue, sir! Think of Newton and Harvey.
Circulation of the blood is an observed fact
615
00:35:14,247 --> 00:35:17,682
Not the stuff of shadow and
whimsy appealed by your kind
616
00:35:19,118 --> 00:35:25,785
And where pray with your Mr. Newton's
stand on the subject of the immortal soul?
617
00:35:25,909 --> 00:35:27,526
These are dark waters, Frederick!
618
00:35:29,899 --> 00:35:37,195
Newton'll tell you, as I do sir, that such
childishness is best confined to the nursery
619
00:35:40,338 --> 00:35:41,405
I see...
620
00:35:42,718 --> 00:35:45,959
I wonder...are you a betting man Mr. Peel?
621
00:35:46,355 --> 00:35:49,885
- I've been known as an occasional wager
- Frederick, no!
622
00:35:50,149 --> 00:35:54,783
Very well...Since you scoff of
the notion of an immortal soul
623
00:35:55,352 --> 00:35:59,874
you'll not objected to placing
your own in azzard
624
00:36:00,931 --> 00:36:08,331
Set against to this trifle, I will wage my
entire Cornish State and 100 pound
625
00:36:08,338 --> 00:36:10,581
- 100 pound?
- Aye...
626
00:36:11,515 --> 00:36:17,151
All that for my soul...why? This not wager
it's like snatching a puppet from a babe
627
00:36:17,155 --> 00:36:18,081
I'll do it
628
00:36:19,915 --> 00:36:21,402
Excellent
629
00:36:29,329 --> 00:36:30,508
What are we playing?
630
00:36:32,354 --> 00:36:34,395
What know you...
631
00:36:35,213 --> 00:36:36,462
...of Eight Men Down?
632
00:36:38,992 --> 00:36:40,174
Nothing
633
00:36:40,479 --> 00:36:42,018
What of Bamalama-Fizz-Vaj?
634
00:36:42,568 --> 00:36:43,674
Bamalama...?
635
00:36:43,677 --> 00:36:47,168
What should I say, even you must
know Go Johnny Go Go Go!
636
00:36:47,174 --> 00:36:47,792
No, sir!
637
00:36:49,490 --> 00:36:51,505
You do. Jacks are worth 10,
kings are worth 3
638
00:36:51,507 --> 00:36:53,383
Apart from one-eyed jacks
which're wildcards
639
00:36:53,483 --> 00:36:54,461
But we'll come to
those in a moment
640
00:36:54,470 --> 00:36:56,712
Round 1 we get a hand
of 9, round 2 hand of 7
641
00:36:56,756 --> 00:36:57,600
Twos're wildcards
642
00:36:57,601 --> 00:36:58,600
But we'll come to
those in a moment
643
00:36:58,576 --> 00:36:59,816
Would do you deal cards, young man?
644
00:36:59,966 --> 00:37:00,666
I will sir!
645
00:37:07,938 --> 00:37:10,681
Good evening, we are "Legz
Akimbo" theatre company.
646
00:37:16,780 --> 00:37:18,067
Thanks a lot!
647
00:37:24,485 --> 00:37:27,575
Some of you may remember us
from a couple of Christmases ago
648
00:37:32,752 --> 00:37:35,392
We came here and we did
"Pins and Needles"
649
00:37:36,543 --> 00:37:38,108
It was a play about tramps on heroin.
650
00:37:44,704 --> 00:37:46,747
But we�re back here today to perform my new piece
651
00:37:46,975 --> 00:37:50,131
which is about a small girl growing up in the North
652
00:37:50,553 --> 00:37:51,870
It�s called "Scumbelina"
653
00:37:57,250 --> 00:38:00,391
and we�ll be performing that for you
right here on the stage in a few minutes!
654
00:38:04,637 --> 00:38:06,350
My name�s Oliver Plimsoles by the way
655
00:38:06,351 --> 00:38:09,999
I�ll get all your names in a minute
coz there are far to many of you
656
00:38:16,019 --> 00:38:20,201
A lot of my friends did turn to me and say "Ollie, what
are you doing writing a play about the North,
657
00:38:20,203 --> 00:38:21,465
you�re from - Chiswick."
658
00:38:22,917 --> 00:38:30,686
I said to her: "Sue, for years, writers have sat on their fat
arses getting rich, writing lies about real, Northern people.
659
00:38:31,037 --> 00:38:33,268
I want to do that too"
660
00:38:35,909 --> 00:38:39,023
Very exciting time for the company,
first time I've written a play for adults.
661
00:38:39,811 --> 00:38:41,521
I'm not standing up here today as teacher
662
00:38:42,307 --> 00:38:43,544
You know, I'm not "Sir"
663
00:38:44,039 --> 00:38:44,892
I'm not "mum"
664
00:38:45,617 --> 00:38:46,504
I'm not "dad"
665
00:38:48,143 --> 00:38:49,318
I'm Ollie Plimsolls and...
666
00:38:50,973 --> 00:38:54,954
I'm not gonna patronise you. "Patronise"
means "to talk down to you".
667
00:38:58,671 --> 00:39:04,207
There�s a little girl with a round face there if got something
to say pop your hand in the air, we�d all love to hear it.
668
00:39:07,663 --> 00:39:11,122
There�s obviously something frightfully funny going on down
there, d�you want to share it with the rest of the group?
669
00:39:13,846 --> 00:39:15,274
I�d love to know what the joke is!
670
00:39:16,228 --> 00:39:17,794
I�d love to be as funny as you!
671
00:39:19,021 --> 00:39:20,514
I�d love to be as popular as you!
672
00:39:21,095 --> 00:39:23,225
Oh please let me learn from you
673
00:39:25,425 --> 00:39:30,000
Oh, it�s not nice being bullied is it? Maybe don�t!
Oh, we�re nearly there, OK.
674
00:39:32,486 --> 00:39:34,261
Sit back and enjoy "Scumbelina"
675
00:39:35,815 --> 00:39:36,693
Which I wrote...
676
00:39:49,758 --> 00:39:51,186
Got me bird comin�!
677
00:39:51,278 --> 00:39:52,295
Comin� around!
678
00:39:52,402 --> 00:39:53,633
Comin� to see me!
679
00:39:53,634 --> 00:39:54,423
Nice tits...
680
00:39:54,425 --> 00:39:55,037
Sound!
681
00:40:01,502 --> 00:40:02,655
Out to�t boozer...
682
00:40:02,648 --> 00:40:03,638
Out on�t razz!
683
00:40:04,050 --> 00:40:05,099
Down to�t night-club...
684
00:40:06,307 --> 00:40:21,157
- Hair!
- Shave!
- Tie!
685
00:40:21,532 --> 00:40:24,361
Why?
686
00:40:31,867 --> 00:40:32,792
Why?
687
00:40:40,621 --> 00:40:41,360
Parky out
688
00:40:42,262 --> 00:40:43,137
Parky in
689
00:40:43,517 --> 00:40:44,166
Parky out
690
00:40:44,342 --> 00:40:45,294
Parky in
691
00:40:45,667 --> 00:40:46,395
Parky in
692
00:40:46,557 --> 00:40:47,121
Parky out
693
00:40:47,270 --> 00:40:47,846
Where you goin�?
694
00:40:48,198 --> 00:40:49,577
Mind your own stink.
695
00:40:49,830 --> 00:40:51,612
Oh, mind your stink.
696
00:40:51,938 --> 00:40:59,211
Mind your stink. Stink, stink, stinking skint, skint.
697
00:41:01,513 --> 00:41:03,141
As I am...
698
00:41:04,035 --> 00:41:12,132
Oh poverty. Poor. Poverosity.
699
00:41:13,187 --> 00:41:17,157
That�s right ma. No bastard listens
to�t voice of the�t little person.
700
00:41:17,401 --> 00:41:19,015
Not here in�t dump.
701
00:41:19,523 --> 00:41:23,114
But why don�t you?
Can�t, or won�t?
702
00:41:23,409 --> 00:41:26,640
There�s poetry in our voices only it don�t come out right.
703
00:41:28,843 --> 00:41:31,521
Poverty is poetry with an extra "V"
704
00:41:37,391 --> 00:41:38,667
Only nowt rhymes whi�it.
705
00:41:39,856 --> 00:41:41,819
Haah, but you�re all welcome.
706
00:41:42,086 --> 00:41:44,690
Quick, get the fire lit, Ma, faither�s home.
707
00:41:50,355 --> 00:41:52,146
Has ye fetched t�coal in, luv?
708
00:41:52,860 --> 00:41:54,335
Fuck a duck!
709
00:41:59,503 --> 00:42:03,532
Aye, no! Me duck�s fucked,
me duck�s fucked off.
710
00:42:04,166 --> 00:42:06,268
Fucked off, mucked off, more like.
711
00:42:08,372 --> 00:42:10,010
Mucked off wi� my luck.
712
00:42:11,596 --> 00:42:12,767
England�s a duck.
713
00:42:13,150 --> 00:42:16,822
England�s an old duck in the lake.
She wants to fly...
714
00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:19,762
But she never can do.
715
00:42:20,039 --> 00:42:22,540
They�re always a�clippin�, a�flippin� a�clippin� her wings.
716
00:42:22,619 --> 00:42:23,190
She sings.
717
00:42:23,191 --> 00:42:24,685
I preferred them days.
718
00:42:27,002 --> 00:42:31,269
Not these days, sleaze days, them days,
them lazy hazy gazy days.
719
00:42:32,024 --> 00:42:34,533
Not these, cold, old, no soul.
720
00:42:35,950 --> 00:42:37,404
Can I do a speech?
721
00:42:37,842 --> 00:42:38,596
Can I?
722
00:42:39,509 --> 00:42:40,298
I will then.
723
00:42:41,780 --> 00:42:45,739
Taps. Big taps on me bath, rusting away...
724
00:42:45,888 --> 00:42:46,802
Like the country?
725
00:42:47,246 --> 00:42:50,115
Country? Cunt tree more like.
726
00:42:50,689 --> 00:42:54,237
Resting, rusting away like the taps on Ma�s big bath.
727
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:56,958
Big, brown, bleach-burning bath.
728
00:42:57,115 --> 00:42:58,705
I want the taps to work.
729
00:42:58,917 --> 00:43:00,822
I want me man to work.
730
00:43:01,223 --> 00:43:13,052
I want work for me man but there
in�t none. Not here in�t Narth.
731
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:16,282
Not here in�t Naarth.
732
00:43:16,882 --> 00:43:20,127
Not here in�t Naarth.
733
00:43:23,883 --> 00:43:24,618
Kendal.
734
00:43:24,631 --> 00:43:25,386
You know me?
735
00:44:23,434 --> 00:44:28,130
North! Blast off, blow off, let off steam
736
00:44:28,131 --> 00:44:32,298
Iron and steel magnolias, only as old
as you feel, licks the cat weasel
737
00:44:32,385 --> 00:44:35,236
pop goes the top of the range Grange Hill,
738
00:44:35,237 --> 00:44:39,019
why won�t you speak to me
Rowland of hope and glory
739
00:44:39,335 --> 00:44:44,031
Hallelujah chorus-and them,
us and them, us and them.
740
00:44:44,032 --> 00:44:45,531
Them who made us this way?
741
00:44:45,217 --> 00:44:47,110
Who made us this way? Who?
742
00:44:52,193 --> 00:44:52,936
Jim Cartwright.
743
00:44:54,726 --> 00:44:55,450
Willy Russel.
744
00:44:56,367 --> 00:44:58,758
John fucking Godber.
745
00:45:01,275 --> 00:45:26,681
Cartwright, Russel, fucking Godber...
746
00:45:27,429 --> 00:45:29,264
They can�t write!
747
00:46:51,268 --> 00:46:55,246
I've a feeling we're not
in Royston Vasey anymore
748
00:46:56,763 --> 00:46:58,384
Indeed
749
00:46:59,675 --> 00:47:01,706
Are we in heaven, Edward?
750
00:47:03,118 --> 00:47:04,810
I don't think so, Tubbs
751
00:47:06,392 --> 00:47:11,112
Remember I told you heaven
was like Swansea
752
00:47:15,102 --> 00:47:16,104
Yes
753
00:47:16,893 --> 00:47:19,981
Well this, is the other place
754
00:47:20,455 --> 00:47:22,708
- You mean...?
- Yes
755
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:24,527
London!
756
00:47:28,497 --> 00:47:32,800
Is London a local place for local people?
757
00:47:39,336 --> 00:47:40,402
No, Tubbs!
758
00:47:42,410 --> 00:47:44,282
London is a town of strangers
759
00:47:45,035 --> 00:47:49,924
Wormy youth that drink
all day and root all night
760
00:47:52,747 --> 00:47:53,876
Sounds nice
761
00:47:55,518 --> 00:47:57,073
Can we stay for a weekend?
762
00:47:58,353 --> 00:48:00,065
I want to see "Les Mis"
763
00:48:00,066 --> 00:48:01,267
Silence!
764
00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:17,785
If we want to enter to
the kingdom of Swansea
765
00:48:20,646 --> 00:48:23,332
we must leave this place at once
766
00:48:23,595 --> 00:48:26,189
But there're so many of them, Edward!
767
00:48:26,759 --> 00:48:29,922
One, two, three, five, twelfty, six, ten...
768
00:48:33,711 --> 00:48:36,648
L�nes'nd lines'nd lines...
769
00:48:51,003 --> 00:48:53,029
We'll never kill them all
770
00:48:57,391 --> 00:49:00,914
We musn't kill them.
Not yet anyway.
771
00:49:01,511 --> 00:49:04,369
First we must redeem ourselves
772
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:08,248
Edward, I told you to go
before we left the shop
773
00:49:09,802 --> 00:49:16,222
To find redemption we must return to
Royston Vasey and atone for our sins
774
00:49:16,233 --> 00:49:18,293
But how will we get there?
775
00:49:20,062 --> 00:49:23,572
Click your moonboots together 3 times
776
00:49:31,950 --> 00:49:34,267
And repeat after me:
777
00:49:34,589 --> 00:49:35,971
"I can I can't!"
778
00:49:37,651 --> 00:49:43,704
I can I cant
I can I cant
I can I cant!
779
00:49:43,712 --> 00:49:46,857
That's it Tubbs. Keep going.
780
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:50,021
Will be home soon
781
00:49:55,062 --> 00:49:57,076
Ladies and gentlemen
782
00:49:57,338 --> 00:50:00,683
The management regrets to
announce that the Gran Chavelle,
783
00:50:01,104 --> 00:50:03,223
the world foremost animal magician,
784
00:50:03,502 --> 00:50:06,280
is unable to be here tonight as advertised
785
00:50:06,404 --> 00:50:10,092
However our last minutes
replacement has been found
786
00:50:19,176 --> 00:50:20,255
Hello!
787
00:50:21,783 --> 00:50:28,366
I'd like to thank the management for giving me
this opportunity to demonstrate by prestidigitation
788
00:50:29,328 --> 00:50:34,464
This is not my day job although it's always
gone down very well with my clients
789
00:50:34,820 --> 00:50:37,413
In fact I've lost count of the
number of them who say to me
790
00:50:37,437 --> 00:50:40,633
"Mr. Chinnery, I would
sure you're a magician..."
791
00:50:44,242 --> 00:50:47,112
"... and not a vet"
792
00:50:47,731 --> 00:50:58,144
Please join me now as
we enter a world of mistery
793
00:53:32,862 --> 00:53:34,244
Oh dear, oh dear
794
00:53:35,939 --> 00:53:38,018
Is there a vet in the house?
795
00:53:57,345 --> 00:53:59,780
Ohi! What have you, Mike?
796
00:53:59,848 --> 00:54:01,443
Just a coke, please Geoff...
797
00:54:01,444 --> 00:54:02,054
Ehi?
798
00:54:05,061 --> 00:54:06,753
Another lager...
799
00:54:08,379 --> 00:54:10,834
Ohi! Three bluebirds!
800
00:54:12,923 --> 00:54:14,140
He's bloody deaf, him!
801
00:54:15,643 --> 00:54:17,231
You know what they say Geoff...
802
00:54:21,792 --> 00:54:22,593
What?
803
00:54:27,367 --> 00:54:28,307
Ehi?
804
00:54:31,603 --> 00:54:32,693
I can't hear you!
805
00:54:32,986 --> 00:54:35,390
I said "Bummers are deaf"
806
00:54:37,944 --> 00:54:38,592
Yes good one that!
807
00:54:38,593 --> 00:54:40,304
It is! I fell for it at all
808
00:54:41,313 --> 00:54:43,176
Eh, Bri, tell Mike "Mau Mau"
809
00:54:44,900 --> 00:54:45,808
You what?
810
00:54:46,068 --> 00:54:47,622
Yeah, that one about the Mau Mau
811
00:54:48,139 --> 00:54:50,103
Uh I can't remember
that Geoff, you tell him.
812
00:54:50,104 --> 00:54:53,084
Oh you can. Danny Taurus
told us this joke at the gun club
813
00:54:53,379 --> 00:54:56,205
It's the funniest bloody joke, tell him Bri
814
00:54:56,206 --> 00:54:57,319
- Me?
- Yes go on
815
00:54:57,712 --> 00:55:00,774
Alright. Ehh... There's these 3 fellows
816
00:55:00,775 --> 00:55:03,042
Yes, Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman
817
00:55:03,388 --> 00:55:07,232
Yes, Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman.
They get lost in...the desert
818
00:55:07,428 --> 00:55:08,782
No... jungle
819
00:55:09,538 --> 00:55:10,198
Is it?
820
00:55:10,341 --> 00:55:11,820
Yeah go on.
821
00:55:12,509 --> 00:55:14,924
Ok they get lost in the jungle and
get killed by these cannibals
822
00:55:14,927 --> 00:55:17,736
Not yet! You missed the
whole bloody joke, you idiot!
823
00:55:17,737 --> 00:55:19,488
I can't remember it Geoff, you tell him
824
00:55:19,489 --> 00:55:20,070
No, you can!
825
00:55:20,071 --> 00:55:21,662
It's alright, I'm not bothered, actually...
826
00:55:21,788 --> 00:55:22,806
Sit down!
827
00:55:25,471 --> 00:55:26,106
Ehi?
828
00:55:26,243 --> 00:55:26,904
Sit down!
829
00:55:31,853 --> 00:55:32,955
He's telling a joke
830
00:55:35,947 --> 00:55:39,476
Just think what the end is, and go back
831
00:55:40,132 --> 00:55:42,323
- Right. There's an Englishman...
- Fruit.
832
00:55:42,948 --> 00:55:43,648
What?
833
00:55:44,568 --> 00:55:45,268
It's the fruit!
834
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:51,547
- He remembers it now!
835
00:55:52,001 --> 00:55:55,906
They've to go into the jungle and pick
10 pieces of fruit and bring them back
836
00:55:55,907 --> 00:55:57,927
so they come back and the
chief says: "So Englishman..."
837
00:55:57,963 --> 00:55:59,102
Do the voice.
838
00:56:02,995 --> 00:56:07,197
The chief says: "Now you must choose
between death or Mau Mau"
839
00:56:07,315 --> 00:56:11,202
The Englishman says: "We don't bow
you, savage, I'll choose Mau Mau"
840
00:56:11,384 --> 00:56:14,372
So they grab him and stick the
10 pieces of fruits up his arse
841
00:56:14,373 --> 00:56:15,498
Yeah and what did he pick?
842
00:56:16,127 --> 00:56:17,477
The Englishman chose cherries!
843
00:56:17,482 --> 00:56:21,692
Cherries! Imagine that! 10 cherries stump of your arse!
They're very small though are they?
844
00:56:32,634 --> 00:56:33,410
Go on Brian!
845
00:56:34,813 --> 00:56:37,781
The chief takes the Scotsman
and says "Death or Mau Mau"
846
00:56:38,013 --> 00:56:40,419
Scotsman says Mau Mau...
Mmmm
847
00:56:41,112 --> 00:56:43,844
What's the Scotsman's fruit Geoff?
Is it bananas?
848
00:56:43,872 --> 00:56:47,708
No, no, no, smaller than nuts.
Just a sec
849
00:56:47,963 --> 00:56:50,701
- We just should say bananas...
- No, it's too big, it spoils the next one!
850
00:56:53,401 --> 00:56:54,620
- Apples?
- No!
851
00:56:55,824 --> 00:56:56,364
Strawberries?
852
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:58,050
What? In the jungle?
853
00:57:05,754 --> 00:57:08,091
No, just think what it is for a minute
854
00:57:10,529 --> 00:57:13,963
Hey, Brian, why are there
no aspirins in the jungle?
855
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:15,013
Don't know.
856
00:57:15,434 --> 00:57:19,054
Cause the parrots eat 'em all.
857
00:57:23,978 --> 00:57:31,039
I'd have said "paracetamol"
858
00:57:31,473 --> 00:57:33,256
Either way, I think it worked
859
00:57:34,599 --> 00:57:36,742
Is it anyth' of Pam and Barry Swift?
860
00:57:37,290 --> 00:57:38,910
Oh god no, not in ages...
861
00:57:38,911 --> 00:57:40,274
Plums!
862
00:57:41,220 --> 00:57:41,844
What?
863
00:57:42,139 --> 00:57:43,559
They're plums, come on!
864
00:57:43,596 --> 00:57:45,502
Oh Geoff, it doesn't matter now
865
00:57:45,798 --> 00:57:47,477
Course it fucking matters
866
00:57:50,753 --> 00:57:51,873
He's near the end
867
00:57:53,241 --> 00:57:54,400
There's only the Irishman left,
come on Brian
868
00:57:55,401 --> 00:57:57,476
Chief tells to the Irishman,
"Death or Mau Mau"
869
00:57:57,477 --> 00:57:58,617
You didn't do the voice.
870
00:57:58,804 --> 00:57:59,418
Don't matter!
871
00:58:01,489 --> 00:58:02,793
- Finish it!
- I can't remember.
872
00:58:02,808 --> 00:58:04,121
- Finish it!
- I can't remember.
873
00:58:04,211 --> 00:58:04,368
Please!
874
00:58:04,544 --> 00:58:06,949
Geoff! I honestly can't remember.
875
00:58:13,411 --> 00:58:16,518
It's just a big fucking
joke to you, isn't it?
876
00:58:20,024 --> 00:58:23,293
Innit, Geoff can't tell a joke,
Geoff is a joke
877
00:58:23,823 --> 00:58:25,978
Geoff enters a talent competition and loses
878
00:58:30,562 --> 00:58:31,778
My mum said I would win.
879
00:58:35,661 --> 00:58:36,820
I was only 8!
880
00:58:39,166 --> 00:58:40,993
You know I've got this gun, don't you?!
881
00:58:43,043 --> 00:58:43,982
You...
882
00:58:44,420 --> 00:58:46,344
...you're going to tell this joke
883
00:58:48,267 --> 00:58:49,632
and we're all going to laugh!
884
00:58:51,189 --> 00:58:52,729
Or else he gets it!
885
00:58:52,730 --> 00:58:56,247
Geoff, alright! I'll finish the joke! Jesus!
886
00:58:58,961 --> 00:59:02,100
The chief turns to the Irishman
and says "Death or Mau mau"
887
00:59:03,668 --> 00:59:07,171
- And the Irishman looks at his fruits...
- Pineapples! Look his pineapples!
888
00:59:07,178 --> 00:59:09,495
- Pineapples
- Pineapples!
889
00:59:09,496 --> 00:59:19,238
He look at his pineapples and says: "I don't think
I can stand the Mau Mau. I'll choose death."
890
00:59:19,540 --> 00:59:20,816
And the chief says to him...
891
00:59:27,334 --> 00:59:28,931
Get it right Brian!
892
00:59:31,959 --> 00:59:33,105
The chief says to the Irishman...
893
00:59:36,078 --> 00:59:38,185
Oh, god I can't remember
894
00:59:39,534 --> 00:59:40,549
He says:...
895
00:59:40,924 --> 00:59:42,725
..."Death by Mau Mau"
896
00:59:44,816 --> 00:59:46,030
- Have you heard it?
- Yes
897
00:59:46,037 --> 00:59:47,151
It's good, do it?
898
00:59:48,555 --> 00:59:50,117
Hoy! Three bluebirds!
899
00:59:57,605 --> 01:00:00,011
Guten abend kinder!
900
01:00:18,741 --> 01:00:20,309
What a warm entry!
901
01:00:27,477 --> 01:00:30,102
Guten Abend Kinder, willkommen in England
902
01:00:30,570 --> 01:00:31,859
Hi! Welcome to England!
903
01:00:34,937 --> 01:00:36,547
My name is Herr Lipp
904
01:00:37,102 --> 01:00:42,402
Und I may enjoy you to this exchange
with it to the capital city of London
905
01:00:44,725 --> 01:00:45,479
Oh, danke sch�n
906
01:00:48,713 --> 01:00:52,588
Now as you may know, we all be
sleeping with some families in London
907
01:00:53,105 --> 01:00:57,014
And wherever possible I've tried
to made boys sleep with boys
908
01:00:58,746 --> 01:01:00,577
and the other ones sleep
with the other ones
909
01:01:02,128 --> 01:01:04,335
This just taste better in my eyes
910
01:01:12,146 --> 01:01:16,111
I myself will be renting
for most of the week
911
01:01:20,332 --> 01:01:23,921
I've found a very nice little cottage
912
01:01:25,830 --> 01:01:29,975
where I can get my head down
without been disturbed
913
01:01:35,302 --> 01:01:37,693
If any of you know of any
better erections in London
914
01:01:38,599 --> 01:01:42,178
don't esitate to let me know, I'm not
fussy where I put myself
915
01:01:43,656 --> 01:01:44,905
Alles klaar?
916
01:01:47,249 --> 01:01:48,609
Gut, alles klar
917
01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:53,670
Now
918
01:01:54,969 --> 01:01:57,175
To make love with you this evening
919
01:01:58,057 --> 01:02:01,139
I though we can learn some
traditional English games
920
01:02:01,491 --> 01:02:03,007
which is gonna be a real kitcha
921
01:02:06,690 --> 01:02:10,212
There are many exiting English
games, for example...
922
01:02:10,632 --> 01:02:11,397
"Hop cock",
923
01:02:14,289 --> 01:02:15,429
"British bull dykes",
924
01:02:18,305 --> 01:02:19,868
"Stick your tail in a donkey"
925
01:02:23,103 --> 01:02:25,040
to name just of 3
926
01:02:25,411 --> 01:02:29,972
But tonight, kinder, we'll going to
learn rules to "Blind man's poof"
927
01:02:31,566 --> 01:02:35,567
Of course for this I need
to find a boy to play with
928
01:02:42,675 --> 01:02:45,757
Just going to creep among
you if I can finger a boy
929
01:02:49,784 --> 01:02:51,518
Don't look so nervous I don't bite
930
01:02:53,175 --> 01:02:54,487
I may suck, but I don't bite
931
01:02:58,300 --> 01:03:00,790
What's this a boy or a girl?
932
01:03:01,801 --> 01:03:03,332
Sorry the mustaches threw me
933
01:03:08,473 --> 01:03:09,645
What is your name?
934
01:03:09,783 --> 01:03:10,229
Nick
935
01:03:10,602 --> 01:03:12,994
Nick! Big applause for Nick please!
936
01:03:30,962 --> 01:03:32,648
Now, don't be nervous, Nick
937
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:37,999
I met a boy come on stage last night
938
01:03:50,134 --> 01:03:53,969
Please I can assure you by
the end you'll be lap it up
939
01:04:04,391 --> 01:04:06,250
What's in that, that's so interesting?
940
01:04:12,579 --> 01:04:13,719
Ok, please
941
01:04:15,735 --> 01:04:16,551
Ok, Nick
942
01:04:19,312 --> 01:04:25,827
We need to decide for the game to begin,
Nick has to be the poof or the blind man
943
01:04:26,194 --> 01:04:27,759
What do you think boys'nd girls?
944
01:04:33,724 --> 01:04:35,774
Do they know something I don't know?
945
01:04:37,930 --> 01:04:41,744
Ok, I think perhaps because Nick is a vergin
946
01:04:43,617 --> 01:04:45,243
that I should be the poof
947
01:04:46,570 --> 01:04:49,265
Ok Nick, turn your back to me please
948
01:05:03,714 --> 01:05:05,536
Don't flatter yourself, Nick
949
01:05:12,562 --> 01:05:14,366
I'm just going to tie you up now
950
01:05:16,224 --> 01:05:17,568
Stop wriggling!
951
01:05:19,649 --> 01:05:24,244
As I do this, I willl explain
the rules to you
952
01:05:24,245 --> 01:05:26,945
but I warned you now i do
have a tendency to gobble.
953
01:05:30,260 --> 01:05:32,258
It's allrigh you can pull out any time
954
01:05:37,040 --> 01:05:39,979
You'll enjoy it so much
more if you hold still!
955
01:05:42,246 --> 01:05:48,837
Lissen Nick. The game begins when you creep
around the room and try to catch somebody
956
01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:55,198
when you have them you must entertain
whether they're a male member or a femidom
957
01:05:56,431 --> 01:05:59,712
I'm going to give you a lttle clue
if you hold out your hand
958
01:06:06,196 --> 01:06:08,058
Lower please I'm older that you
959
01:06:13,397 --> 01:06:15,709
I'm just having difficult to get it in up!
960
01:06:25,742 --> 01:06:29,896
Come on boys'nd girl I'm sure
you've seen one of these before
961
01:06:33,945 --> 01:06:36,318
I know it's a big one and it smells funny
962
01:06:40,850 --> 01:06:43,602
But I can assure you Nick, it tastes very nice
963
01:06:44,921 --> 01:06:47,256
If you can tell me who this is
964
01:07:04,818 --> 01:07:06,568
Come on, Nick, squeeze it!
965
01:07:11,284 --> 01:07:12,147
Any ideas?
966
01:07:13,297 --> 01:07:15,846
If it helps you I can peel
back the skin at the end
967
01:07:21,812 --> 01:07:23,707
Any ideas Nick, who do you think that is?
968
01:07:25,136 --> 01:07:28,071
The Queen of Duisburg!
As well known as...
969
01:07:28,779 --> 01:07:31,124
Herr Lipp, is the right answer!
970
01:07:31,171 --> 01:07:32,826
Big round of applause for Nick please
971
01:07:32,870 --> 01:07:33,979
Thank you, Nick
972
01:07:48,666 --> 01:07:55,541
Nick... Now, now, now, you can take
your sit back in the audience or...
973
01:07:56,356 --> 01:07:58,685
...come back stage for some Duisburg coffe
974
01:07:58,994 --> 01:08:00,091
It's totally up to you
975
01:08:00,502 --> 01:08:01,254
I'll sit down
976
01:08:02,266 --> 01:08:03,123
It's your lost
977
01:08:03,185 --> 01:08:06,858
Nick, boys'nd girls!
Thank you to Nick! It's Nick!
978
01:08:17,153 --> 01:08:22,140
Sometimes I get a boy upon the stage
and find it impossible to pull him off
979
01:08:28,249 --> 01:08:29,698
Although I usually menage it
980
01:08:30,564 --> 01:08:34,951
That's all for me! Enjoy the rest of your
evening, sleep tight and remember:
981
01:08:36,715 --> 01:08:39,946
don't let the bedbugs bite you!
982
01:08:58,288 --> 01:08:59,562
Oh, hello Mrs Levinson!
983
01:09:00,687 --> 01:09:02,436
I was just polishing your knockers
984
01:09:04,389 --> 01:09:08,357
Bills, bills, bills...Visa, Amex, Diners Club Gold...
985
01:09:08,653 --> 01:09:11,033
Don't you just dread the
foothold of the postman?
986
01:09:11,453 --> 01:09:14,082
Is that the one in where Jack
Nicholson does make him in table?
987
01:09:15,425 --> 01:09:16,845
Sort through this, would you Iris?
988
01:09:17,377 --> 01:09:18,913
Yes, Mrs. Levinson
989
01:09:21,563 --> 01:09:23,644
What's these 950 pounds?
990
01:09:23,901 --> 01:09:28,728
Of course! Eddie and I went to Convent
Garden last month. Do you like opera, Iris?
991
01:09:29,007 --> 01:09:31,274
Can't stick her. We prefer Kilroy.
992
01:09:36,919 --> 01:09:41,054
I've got them all on cds of course:
Wagner, Strauss, Three Tenores
993
01:09:41,257 --> 01:09:43,340
For 2 cds? They are like robbery
994
01:09:45,378 --> 01:09:47,729
My favourite is "Der Rosenkavalier"
995
01:09:47,745 --> 01:09:49,494
Oh now Ron loves that one!
996
01:09:49,854 --> 01:09:50,354
What?
997
01:09:50,713 --> 01:09:52,934
But we trade it ours for an Escort so...
998
01:09:54,091 --> 01:09:58,313
Isn't culture a wonderful thing, Iris?
More we learn more we are enriched
999
01:09:58,314 --> 01:10:04,248
You can glean so much from the telly box these
days if you have a dish. Do you get Uk Gold?
1000
01:10:04,254 --> 01:10:06,749
No, we like stock
1001
01:10:09,438 --> 01:10:10,969
When Eddie and I first married he turn ...
1002
01:10:19,323 --> 01:10:21,195
- Time's up
- That was never an hour
1003
01:10:21,231 --> 01:10:23,201
That's what you always say, lady
1004
01:10:23,808 --> 01:10:24,449
Coat!
1005
01:10:26,010 --> 01:10:28,497
Very well! But be careful with it
1006
01:10:29,028 --> 01:10:30,610
It's very expensive
1007
01:10:30,918 --> 01:10:32,232
I know...
1008
01:10:33,370 --> 01:10:34,810
Sort through those, would you, Judee?
1009
01:10:35,069 --> 01:10:36,163
Yes, Mrs. Krell
1010
01:10:40,148 --> 01:10:44,705
Bills, bills, bills; don't you just dread
the foothold of the postman?
1011
01:10:44,706 --> 01:10:46,376
These're nice panties Mrs. Krell!
1012
01:10:46,811 --> 01:10:49,717
Do you think so? Ronnie got me them in Par�s
1013
01:10:49,910 --> 01:10:51,631
I won't get expensive briefs
1014
01:10:51,753 --> 01:10:53,939
You should deserve it from time to time
1015
01:10:54,155 --> 01:10:58,219
No it's just I get through that many pairs,
Eddie pulling at them with his big fingers
1016
01:11:01,166 --> 01:11:02,886
Well I must get ready
for the bridge evening
1017
01:11:03,025 --> 01:11:06,068
I've given up wearing anything in bed.
There's no point with Eddie's libido.
1018
01:11:06,821 --> 01:11:09,271
He's like a lad of 19 sometimes!
1019
01:11:11,002 --> 01:11:12,129
I expect it's quite a house actually
1020
01:11:12,398 --> 01:11:15,710
5, 6 times a night, and the mornings...
1021
01:11:17,312 --> 01:11:18,966
Yes, when Ronnie and I we first married...
1022
01:11:18,819 --> 01:11:22,196
It's always been like that for
us, just gets better and better
1023
01:11:22,315 --> 01:11:24,798
He has me doing stuffs that
would make a whore blush
1024
01:11:26,981 --> 01:11:29,110
Sometimes I wear nothing but
a kimono around the house
1025
01:11:29,238 --> 01:11:32,157
This way, that way, some of it barely legal.
1026
01:11:32,373 --> 01:11:35,550
I'm lying there thinking:
"Will this pleasure never end?"
1027
01:11:39,278 --> 01:11:39,915
She's back!
1028
01:11:39,921 --> 01:11:42,160
Christ! She's gonna catch us one day
1029
01:11:45,612 --> 01:11:48,013
'Evening, Mrs. Levinson!
1030
01:11:53,850 --> 01:11:56,597
Oh god I'm sick of this we
have to tell her, you know
1031
01:11:56,756 --> 01:11:58,831
- What? That we pretend this is our house?
- No...
1032
01:11:58,875 --> 01:12:01,098
- Not that my husband is really dead?
- No!
1033
01:12:01,141 --> 01:12:04,414
- Not that we're really mother and daughter?
- No
1034
01:12:04,942 --> 01:12:05,908
No. That we're both men
1035
01:12:07,752 --> 01:12:08,986
Oh, dad!
1036
01:12:08,714 --> 01:12:09,869
Come here, son!
1037
01:12:19,202 --> 01:12:21,804
Okey Pokey, pig in a pokey!
1038
01:12:32,478 --> 01:12:35,823
Good evening, job seekers!
1039
01:12:43,254 --> 01:12:47,331
My god, I've never seem so much
dole scum under one roof before.
1040
01:12:49,788 --> 01:12:51,814
Has no one got a job in is freaking place?
1041
01:12:53,322 --> 01:12:57,229
No, you're all too busy flicking yourselves
off to Ann Robinson eh?
1042
01:13:04,427 --> 01:13:05,642
I thought so...
1043
01:13:07,548 --> 01:13:09,979
Right, before we begin,
has everyone got a pen?
1044
01:13:12,354 --> 01:13:15,105
No, we don't get pens to
people like you, it's not safe
1045
01:13:16,841 --> 01:13:20,064
A quick word about Pauline's pens,
they're like gold or---
1046
01:13:39,699 --> 01:13:42,022
The victim's name was Pauline Campbell-Jones
1047
01:13:42,102 --> 01:13:44,209
Occupation: restart officer
1048
01:13:44,697 --> 01:13:48,483
The victim had no family and in
a will left everything to her pens
1049
01:13:50,040 --> 01:13:54,056
After the initial investigation,
a prime suspect emerged
1050
01:13:55,016 --> 01:13:56,140
Please, state your name
1051
01:13:56,146 --> 01:13:57,352
Ross Gaines
1052
01:13:58,368 --> 01:14:01,940
Can you decribe to us your relationship
with Miss Campbell-Jones?
1053
01:14:01,941 --> 01:14:03,249
Yes, I hated her
1054
01:14:04,584 --> 01:14:06,767
Can you think of anyone who
would wanted to kill her?
1055
01:14:06,801 --> 01:14:08,052
I can't think anyone who wouldn't
1056
01:14:09,174 --> 01:14:10,660
She was an evil woman
1057
01:14:10,662 --> 01:14:15,110
I remember one time we were doing a role
play exercise about interview technique
1058
01:14:15,231 --> 01:14:18,406
She asked me to inteview
her for an imaginary job
1059
01:14:22,686 --> 01:14:25,948
You can be as hard as you like, Ross!
I won't get crossed
1060
01:14:30,492 --> 01:14:31,741
In your own time
1061
01:14:31,578 --> 01:14:33,363
So, you're interested in this trolley job
1062
01:14:33,535 --> 01:14:35,920
That is right, I'm very interested, yes
1063
01:14:36,462 --> 01:14:39,880
I feel that my ability to
work well as part of a team
1064
01:14:41,283 --> 01:14:44,218
and yet take individual responsabilities
1065
01:14:45,003 --> 01:14:47,923
are important factors in a job of this nature
1066
01:14:49,829 --> 01:14:51,288
What work experience have you had?
1067
01:14:51,451 --> 01:14:53,371
I left school early and starting to--
1068
01:14:53,374 --> 01:14:54,782
You didn't go to college?
1069
01:14:55,940 --> 01:14:58,388
No, I feel the touch of work experience...
1070
01:14:58,389 --> 01:14:59,905
You have no qualifications
1071
01:15:01,564 --> 01:15:04,286
Well if you don't count 20 years
in Employment Service
1072
01:15:04,294 --> 01:15:08,767
No, I'm talking about academic
achievement: degrees, diplomas...
1073
01:15:08,768 --> 01:15:12,009
Come off it Ross! Shoving trolleys
round the ASDA car park?
1074
01:15:12,016 --> 01:15:13,349
Fucking monkey could do it!
1075
01:15:26,268 --> 01:15:29,250
Whould you say you're a
fairly egregious person?
1076
01:15:33,469 --> 01:15:34,395
What?
1077
01:15:35,475 --> 01:15:39,243
Are you an egregious person?
Do you have an egregious personality?
1078
01:15:43,361 --> 01:15:45,084
Yes, yes I do, yes
1079
01:15:45,085 --> 01:15:50,297
Right. I'm gonna say some words to you, I want you
to reply with the first that come into your head, right?
1080
01:15:50,304 --> 01:15:50,867
Right, yes
1081
01:15:51,256 --> 01:15:51,920
Home
1082
01:15:52,043 --> 01:15:53,002
Royston Vasey
1083
01:15:53,338 --> 01:15:54,282
Family
1084
01:15:54,498 --> 01:15:55,060
Dead
1085
01:15:55,734 --> 01:15:56,851
Friends
1086
01:15:57,120 --> 01:15:57,622
Pens
1087
01:16:03,247 --> 01:16:03,927
Friends!?
1088
01:16:04,323 --> 01:16:05,396
Pens!
1089
01:16:06,160 --> 01:16:07,689
They're the best friends you can have!
1090
01:16:08,462 --> 01:16:11,085
Everything I know about people
I've learned from pens
1091
01:16:11,816 --> 01:16:13,802
If they don't work, you shake'em
1092
01:16:14,485 --> 01:16:17,175
If they still don't work
you chuck'em away. Bin'em!
1093
01:16:21,666 --> 01:16:22,730
Really? Work
1094
01:16:23,806 --> 01:16:24,494
Everything
1095
01:16:24,812 --> 01:16:25,372
Mm?
1096
01:16:25,762 --> 01:16:27,157
My work is everything to me
1097
01:16:27,843 --> 01:16:28,567
Love
1098
01:16:30,222 --> 01:16:31,092
No
1099
01:16:32,623 --> 01:16:34,197
So, you're never married?
1100
01:16:36,046 --> 01:16:36,862
No...
1101
01:16:38,987 --> 01:16:39,655
There was somebody once...
1102
01:16:39,656 --> 01:16:41,041
Can i get your age, Pauline
1103
01:16:41,051 --> 01:16:42,715
I think that's a lady's prerogative...
1104
01:16:42,719 --> 01:16:44,398
I need how old you are for these records
1105
01:16:44,683 --> 01:16:47,570
Let's just say I'm as old as than
me gums and a little bit older than...
1106
01:16:47,571 --> 01:16:48,738
- How old are you?
- 48!
1107
01:16:48,747 --> 01:16:50,507
Ok, thank you for coming to see us today!
1108
01:16:50,514 --> 01:16:52,327
Thank you very much, when do I start?
1109
01:16:54,569 --> 01:16:57,598
I'm sorry, I can't offer you this position
1110
01:17:08,538 --> 01:17:09,354
You what?
1111
01:17:11,235 --> 01:17:13,422
Well...you failed the interview
1112
01:17:14,751 --> 01:17:18,135
You strike me as a bully. You're ill-mannered,
1113
01:17:24,236 --> 01:17:27,299
Ignorant, foul mouthed,
you're not qualified for this job
1114
01:17:28,376 --> 01:17:29,941
and apart from anything else...
1115
01:17:31,883 --> 01:17:33,436
You're too old!
1116
01:17:35,641 --> 01:17:36,530
Miss!
1117
01:17:40,567 --> 01:17:41,315
Sorry
1118
01:17:42,656 --> 01:17:43,655
But I...
1119
01:17:57,272 --> 01:18:00,191
Good! Thank's very much Ross,
would you want to take your place
1120
01:18:00,695 --> 01:18:04,767
Yes, I think Ross handled that
situation very well, job seekers
1121
01:18:05,031 --> 01:18:06,495
Although it did made me wonder
1122
01:18:06,912 --> 01:18:10,485
how well he'd handle a situation
that was a bit more like this!
1123
01:18:16,541 --> 01:18:18,302
A bully, am I?
1124
01:18:19,399 --> 01:18:21,127
Foul fucking mouthed?
1125
01:18:22,555 --> 01:18:26,465
You'll eat those words! Egregious, egregious
Is it what it means?
1126
01:18:26,466 --> 01:18:28,175
Is it egregious enough for you?
1127
01:18:28,115 --> 01:18:29,626
Stop it, Pauline!
1128
01:18:37,088 --> 01:18:39,216
Stop it, you nutter!
1129
01:18:47,591 --> 01:18:50,205
The Gaines story led us to the second suspect
1130
01:18:50,540 --> 01:18:52,704
Someone who had known
Pauline for longer than anyone
1131
01:18:53,020 --> 01:18:54,973
Having been on the dole
since the age of 12
1132
01:18:56,069 --> 01:18:56,922
Please, state your name
1133
01:18:57,008 --> 01:18:58,413
My name is Mickey
1134
01:18:59,952 --> 01:19:01,653
Did you know the deceased well?
1135
01:19:02,372 --> 01:19:03,699
Is that a pub?
1136
01:19:06,003 --> 01:19:08,230
How well did you know
Miss Campbell-Jones?
1137
01:19:08,660 --> 01:19:12,332
She was kind to me, she
bought me a tuna sandwich
1138
01:19:13,850 --> 01:19:16,042
Did she ever do anything else
that you tough was kind?
1139
01:19:16,400 --> 01:19:20,907
Not really. Sometimes she
made me feel... stupid
1140
01:19:21,501 --> 01:19:22,670
Pauline, Pauline!
1141
01:19:22,680 --> 01:19:24,201
Not yet, Mickey love!
I'm busy
1142
01:19:24,792 --> 01:19:28,685
Right, job seekers!
Who can tell me what C.V. stands for?
1143
01:19:29,731 --> 01:19:32,000
No, Mr. Wadilove, it's not Church of England
1144
01:19:32,001 --> 01:19:32,630
Pauline!
1145
01:19:32,780 --> 01:19:34,197
What is it Mickey?
1146
01:19:34,473 --> 01:19:35,742
I've got an interview
1147
01:19:37,500 --> 01:19:40,000
You an interview? Don't make me laugh!
1148
01:19:40,498 --> 01:19:42,161
What is for? Scarecrow?
1149
01:19:43,925 --> 01:19:46,267
No, fireman!
1150
01:19:51,874 --> 01:19:52,987
Fireman, eh?
1151
01:19:53,361 --> 01:19:54,985
Are you going to show us your pipe?
1152
01:19:55,690 --> 01:19:57,233
That was a joke, Mickey love
1153
01:19:58,425 --> 01:20:00,340
Smells bad of that area where it is
1154
01:20:01,979 --> 01:20:03,289
Excuse me?
1155
01:20:03,841 --> 01:20:05,120
Where do you think you're going?
1156
01:20:05,760 --> 01:20:07,120
Interview?
1157
01:20:09,169 --> 01:20:11,127
I'm sorry, Mickey love but I can't let you go
1158
01:20:11,817 --> 01:20:12,813
Why?
1159
01:20:13,406 --> 01:20:16,878
Because we do not covered interview
technique to next monday forenight
1160
01:20:17,275 --> 01:20:18,576
As well you know...
1161
01:20:18,950 --> 01:20:20,992
You've done this course 62 times already
1162
01:20:21,739 --> 01:20:22,929
63
1163
01:20:23,693 --> 01:20:28,042
What's going happen to me if you all
get jobs before the end of this course?
1164
01:20:28,043 --> 01:20:29,257
On the dole!
1165
01:20:29,322 --> 01:20:33,189
Exactly! I'd be sat down here,
with this lot stinking of shit!
1166
01:20:39,520 --> 01:20:43,021
Please let me go, Pauline.
I feel confident
1167
01:20:43,469 --> 01:20:45,733
Well you look ridiculous!
1168
01:20:46,979 --> 01:20:48,241
Show me your helmet
1169
01:20:48,795 --> 01:20:50,069
The one on your head!
1170
01:21:07,074 --> 01:21:09,902
Oh what's this now!
Dick fucking Wittington?
1171
01:21:21,474 --> 01:21:24,050
You'll be wanted to see men
dressed up as women next!
1172
01:21:31,464 --> 01:21:35,138
That's what chances you've got
to become a fireman...
1173
01:21:36,252 --> 01:21:38,216
a big, fat zero
1174
01:21:38,989 --> 01:21:40,603
Now sit down, play with your crayons
1175
01:21:41,083 --> 01:21:42,810
and wont let you know no more about it
1176
01:21:48,625 --> 01:21:57,110
The rest of you, to light in the mood a little bit we're going
to play a game I've invented, called 'Shopper Scrounger'
1177
01:22:06,931 --> 01:22:10,622
A third final suspect arrived in
the shape of a fat woman
1178
01:22:11,690 --> 01:22:13,192
State your name please, madam
1179
01:22:13,510 --> 01:22:14,249
Miss!
1180
01:22:23,145 --> 01:22:24,532
Cathy Carter-Smith!
1181
01:22:25,657 --> 01:22:26,436
Occupation?
1182
01:22:26,475 --> 01:22:33,103
Restart officer. I was assigned to take
over from Pauline...um, the victim
1183
01:22:33,274 --> 01:22:35,514
And how did she react to this news?
1184
01:22:35,522 --> 01:22:37,264
I think she took it quite well.
1185
01:22:38,668 --> 01:22:40,800
Piss off you big fat cunt!
1186
01:23:01,567 --> 01:23:04,321
Pauline, why can't you
disaccept you're finished?
1187
01:23:04,918 --> 01:23:06,216
Fuck you Ann Widdecombe!
1188
01:23:13,472 --> 01:23:15,133
And leave my pens alone, please
1189
01:23:15,137 --> 01:23:17,166
Your pens, you make me laugh!
1190
01:23:17,225 --> 01:23:18,340
Go nock, pens!
1191
01:23:18,355 --> 01:23:19,528
You are a relic woman!
1192
01:23:32,695 --> 01:23:36,732
Get yourself to the fucking museum and
clean the bastard bins on yer way oot!
1193
01:23:38,788 --> 01:23:41,098
This is the futur! Computer disks!
1194
01:23:41,952 --> 01:23:45,261
Don't you wave your floppies in my face, lady
1195
01:23:45,267 --> 01:23:47,772
or I'll show in'em when the sun don't shine!
1196
01:23:48,493 --> 01:23:50,326
- You know what your heading, don't you?
- No
1197
01:23:50,498 --> 01:23:51,372
Prison!
1198
01:23:51,441 --> 01:23:53,760
Ooh... Do I look like Deidre Rachid?
1199
01:23:55,589 --> 01:23:56,803
Yes!
1200
01:24:05,683 --> 01:24:09,323
I've seen this before and in this
job, it hates women like you
1201
01:24:10,065 --> 01:24:11,891
I don't have to listen to
anymore of these shits!
1202
01:24:11,991 --> 01:24:13,531
And no, you did! Piss off!
1203
01:24:13,533 --> 01:24:14,546
Think a fucking will...
1204
01:24:20,080 --> 01:24:24,984
Ehm...just what do you mean exactly...
1205
01:24:26,116 --> 01:24:27,241
..."women like me"?
1206
01:24:37,224 --> 01:24:38,988
You know what I mean
1207
01:24:42,326 --> 01:24:44,568
I told you was Dick fucking
Whittington, didn't I?
1208
01:24:47,683 --> 01:24:52,982
You harder snail in the outside
but inside you're just a pussycat!
1209
01:25:07,728 --> 01:25:10,643
Use a pen on me! Use a pen on me!
1210
01:25:17,603 --> 01:25:18,842
It was horrible!
1211
01:25:19,811 --> 01:25:22,473
Like two big fat white
baloons bag in a bowl
1212
01:25:23,864 --> 01:25:25,104
And now it's just Pauline
1213
01:25:27,263 --> 01:25:32,081
How does that make you feel, Mickey?
Angry? Dejected?
1214
01:25:32,165 --> 01:25:33,297
Sick, mainly
1215
01:25:34,308 --> 01:25:37,307
I thought that she loved me...
but she did not.
1216
01:25:38,685 --> 01:25:40,535
Where did you get the gun?
1217
01:25:40,950 --> 01:25:45,016
I borrowed from my uncle Geoff. Told him it
was for hunting squirrels, so he said "Alright"
1218
01:25:48,697 --> 01:25:51,552
Have you heard of a "crime passionel"?
1219
01:25:51,859 --> 01:25:52,814
Is it a cake?
1220
01:25:53,985 --> 01:25:57,588
No, it is a crime of passion
1221
01:25:59,394 --> 01:26:10,064
Ladies'nd gentlemen of the jury, I put it to you that this
poor bastard is no more capable of murder than you or I
1222
01:26:10,690 --> 01:26:12,854
Especially with malice aforethought
1223
01:26:13,081 --> 01:26:14,009
Who's she?
1224
01:26:15,324 --> 01:26:19,000
His only crime was to have loved too much
1225
01:26:19,454 --> 01:26:22,733
A crime of which the victim was all too innocent
1226
01:26:23,556 --> 01:26:29,120
The defendant maybe is simple,
backward, retarded even
1227
01:26:30,871 --> 01:26:34,523
But his very pores sweep with innocence
1228
01:26:35,686 --> 01:26:36,656
...and pus
1229
01:26:38,500 --> 01:26:46,939
Ladies'nd gentlemen of the jury,
do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?
1230
01:27:09,303 --> 01:27:12,382
Hello, Royston Vasey 444244
1231
01:27:13,897 --> 01:27:16,024
Hello Deborah! Has he been any news?
1232
01:27:17,159 --> 01:27:18,601
What did the lawyer say?
1233
01:27:20,124 --> 01:27:21,477
It's a cake, isn't it?
1234
01:27:25,705 --> 01:27:27,794
Have they reached a verdict yet?
1235
01:27:29,298 --> 01:27:32,674
Oh, Deborah, that's fantastic!
I'm so pleased!
1236
01:27:33,013 --> 01:27:35,766
He'll be home in time to watch
"The Weakest Link"
1237
01:27:38,505 --> 01:27:40,869
Yes, I took myself off to that too
1238
01:27:45,497 --> 01:27:49,629
Lissen Deborah, you give him a big hug for me
and tell him I always knew they'll find him innocent
1239
01:27:50,115 --> 01:27:53,756
Just a sec Deborah, that's the door.
Don't hung up, I will be in a moment
1240
01:27:58,329 --> 01:27:59,284
Yes?
1241
01:28:00,602 --> 01:28:01,941
Hello, Dave!
1242
01:28:09,548 --> 01:28:11,474
- I'm sorry?
- Is that Dave?
1243
01:28:13,016 --> 01:28:15,999
- No, you've got the wrong house
- Ok Dave, is Dave there?
1244
01:28:17,457 --> 01:28:19,558
No, there's no one called Dave here.
1245
01:28:19,971 --> 01:28:20,620
Ok, Dave
1246
01:28:22,832 --> 01:28:25,500
Dave, my wife would like to use your toilet
1247
01:28:25,895 --> 01:28:27,182
No, I really don't think...
1248
01:28:42,144 --> 01:28:46,684
Don't worry, she won't go in the sink again...
Hello Dave?
1249
01:28:47,334 --> 01:28:49,711
Wanna buy some pegs, Dave?
1250
01:28:50,921 --> 01:28:51,660
I'm sorry?
1251
01:28:51,799 --> 01:28:54,763
I got some pegs belonging to you
1252
01:28:56,588 --> 01:28:58,405
No, I'm alright for pegs, thank you
1253
01:28:58,696 --> 01:29:00,360
- Is your wife...?
- My wife.
1254
01:29:01,402 --> 01:29:02,755
Yes, is she...
1255
01:29:02,756 --> 01:29:06,775
Don't worry about her, she won't
be long. Sit down if you like
1256
01:29:08,775 --> 01:29:13,543
Look: there's been a misunderstanding,
you're in the wrong house!
1257
01:29:21,298 --> 01:29:25,231
Dave, my wife tells me there
is a block in your toilet
1258
01:29:26,574 --> 01:29:27,301
No there isn't!
1259
01:29:27,346 --> 01:29:28,812
There is now...
1260
01:29:29,182 --> 01:29:31,704
Get sat down, my will begin the reading.
1261
01:29:33,839 --> 01:29:38,244
I've nothing against you, travelling people
but you're intruding on my property.
1262
01:29:38,661 --> 01:29:40,266
I''m going to have to ask you to leave!
1263
01:29:46,409 --> 01:29:47,641
You're not Dave!
1264
01:29:48,676 --> 01:29:51,027
Yes I know, this is what
I've been trying to tell you!
1265
01:29:51,041 --> 01:29:56,973
It's ok Dave, my wife will continue to read your
fortune but you must cross her palm with silver
1266
01:29:57,048 --> 01:29:58,476
I haven't got any silver!
1267
01:29:58,933 --> 01:30:00,541
Ow! That's my wedding ring!
1268
01:30:00,755 --> 01:30:02,571
This is just a saga now...
1269
01:30:03,504 --> 01:30:04,993
I'm going to toilet, Dave
1270
01:30:05,762 --> 01:30:08,251
but I'll be back in a moment.
1271
01:30:19,320 --> 01:30:21,123
Please help me! He thinks I'm his wife!
1272
01:30:21,837 --> 01:30:24,276
- What?
- He made me go with him, help me!
1273
01:30:24,285 --> 01:30:26,951
- Who is he?
- I don't know! He came to my house!
1274
01:30:27,107 --> 01:30:29,188
But you speak to him that language!
1275
01:30:29,190 --> 01:30:31,048
I make it up! It's gibberish!
1276
01:30:32,189 --> 01:30:36,542
He's coming back. Please do as he
says, he's a very dangerous man
1277
01:30:37,119 --> 01:30:38,574
He sticks pipes in you
1278
01:30:54,075 --> 01:30:55,144
My wife was right,
1279
01:30:56,525 --> 01:30:59,027
there is a block in your toilet.
1280
01:31:01,019 --> 01:31:02,130
But I've fixed it now
1281
01:31:04,570 --> 01:31:06,073
- Thank you..
- That's ok.
1282
01:31:13,695 --> 01:31:14,780
Dave!
1283
01:31:16,333 --> 01:31:17,146
Yes?
1284
01:31:49,489 --> 01:31:52,759
Of course you can!
We would love you to join us!
1285
01:31:59,433 --> 01:32:03,062
You're my wife now...
1286
01:32:25,450 --> 01:32:27,514
Good evening ladies and gentlemen
1287
01:32:27,518 --> 01:32:29,298
Welcome to "It's Bernice"
1288
01:32:30,946 --> 01:32:33,436
We all know there'a a lot
of suffering in the world
1289
01:32:34,314 --> 01:32:38,997
as an agony aunt I often get
asked to try and help ease it
1290
01:32:39,195 --> 01:32:42,125
I like to think of myself as the Betnovate
1291
01:32:42,576 --> 01:32:45,811
rubbed down the hands of
people day to day suffering
1292
01:32:49,048 --> 01:32:52,856
Now if you anything like me
you can often be found
1293
01:32:52,923 --> 01:32:56,815
standing in the street laughing
at these very disabled
1294
01:33:02,455 --> 01:33:06,143
But I wanted to rein
those instincts in tonight
1295
01:33:08,096 --> 01:33:11,196
as we meet my special
guest Pam Austwick
1296
01:33:11,197 --> 01:33:14,489
who suffers from a terrible condition
1297
01:33:14,946 --> 01:33:19,517
it must make her life a living hell
1298
01:33:20,987 --> 01:33:23,890
I'm talking of course about
tonight deseasing focus
1299
01:33:23,891 --> 01:33:26,555
Please welcome upon the stage...
1300
01:33:27,122 --> 01:33:29,607
...morbid obesity
1301
01:33:42,697 --> 01:33:43,887
Here we go...
1302
01:33:55,613 --> 01:33:57,313
Get your breath back, love
1303
01:33:58,028 --> 01:33:59,675
Get it back and tell us:
1304
01:33:59,903 --> 01:34:04,189
have you always been such a big woman?
1305
01:34:04,525 --> 01:34:09,493
Well Bernice, this is the funny thing,
I got 2 sisters thin as you like
1306
01:34:09,614 --> 01:34:14,378
You put them next to me at Christmas
it's like 2 matchmakers and a cream egg
1307
01:34:15,884 --> 01:34:18,848
So it's not hereditary disorder
1308
01:34:19,094 --> 01:34:21,821
No, the doctor said it's glandular
1309
01:34:22,013 --> 01:34:23,133
As if!
1310
01:34:25,181 --> 01:34:28,156
I mean, it's mumbo-jumbo a lot of the time
1311
01:34:28,790 --> 01:34:32,086
What do you think is the matter with you?
1312
01:34:33,406 --> 01:34:36,440
I think I can trace it back
to when my mum died
1313
01:34:40,796 --> 01:34:41,836
Pam, you poor thing
1314
01:34:42,052 --> 01:34:43,959
We was very close, you see
1315
01:34:43,966 --> 01:34:48,141
when mum went created
this big gap in me life
1316
01:34:49,350 --> 01:34:51,454
I think I'll try to fill that gap
1317
01:34:53,318 --> 01:34:54,669
by eating
1318
01:34:55,781 --> 01:34:58,484
I understand.
You're a very brave lady, Pam
1319
01:34:59,485 --> 01:35:03,469
you've shown a lot of gods
just coming on
1320
01:35:04,013 --> 01:35:05,116
Thank you, Bernice
1321
01:35:05,562 --> 01:35:06,366
You're welcome
1322
01:35:06,605 --> 01:35:10,428
It's an important subject that
poses a lot of questions
1323
01:35:10,720 --> 01:35:18,376
I'm sure there's a particular question had
going to the audience's mind and mine too
1324
01:35:19,148 --> 01:35:20,007
and that is:
1325
01:35:20,081 --> 01:35:22,709
how on earth do you wipe your bum?
1326
01:35:28,831 --> 01:35:29,826
I'm sorry?
1327
01:35:29,835 --> 01:35:32,223
I imagine you've troubles
getting one cheek on the seat
1328
01:35:32,230 --> 01:35:34,176
never mind both at the same time!
1329
01:35:34,867 --> 01:35:36,979
what do you do, get your
knickers on prescription?
1330
01:35:38,720 --> 01:35:39,673
Carry on
1331
01:35:41,507 --> 01:35:43,925
One of the key aspect of morbid obesity...
1332
01:35:43,935 --> 01:35:45,307
or "gluttony"
1333
01:35:46,249 --> 01:35:47,856
We don't like to call it there
1334
01:35:48,029 --> 01:35:48,661
Well, "greed" then
1335
01:35:49,737 --> 01:35:53,637
No, because is no longer
connecting to other big I am
1336
01:35:53,638 --> 01:35:55,494
Is there a fat woman as size as you?
1337
01:35:55,842 --> 01:35:58,516
You're not telling me you'll
live on skim milk and Ryvita?!
1338
01:36:00,361 --> 01:36:02,249
I'm on a strictly controlled diet...
1339
01:36:02,291 --> 01:36:05,809
That consisted in what?
Large sandwiches'nd fried chocolate cakes?
1340
01:36:08,915 --> 01:36:11,923
Obesity is primarly an emotional condition
1341
01:36:11,926 --> 01:36:14,578
No, it's primarly an over eating condition!
1342
01:36:15,577 --> 01:36:17,667
Stuff in your face every hour, God sense
1343
01:36:18,094 --> 01:36:20,912
eating margarina on the top
with a big wooden spoon
1344
01:36:23,047 --> 01:36:23,865
Morbid ob-
1345
01:36:23,871 --> 01:36:30,049
I lost my mother, didn't make me waddle through life
with tin laddle in a hand, ice cream scoop in the other
1346
01:36:35,291 --> 01:36:38,210
Morbid obesity...
Did I give it a special name?
1347
01:36:38,786 --> 01:36:40,578
Yeah fat woman, fat!
1348
01:36:42,429 --> 01:36:44,585
You want to lose weight, stop eating!
1349
01:36:50,690 --> 01:36:52,492
Anyway I'll put all in fact sheet
1350
01:36:57,592 --> 01:37:00,674
Join me next week with
obsessive compulsive disorders
1351
01:37:01,563 --> 01:37:03,514
Lord knows where to find them
1352
01:37:08,220 --> 01:37:10,484
Good evening, rock fans
1353
01:37:12,190 --> 01:37:14,501
Pickwick Records is proud to present
1354
01:37:14,960 --> 01:37:17,800
fresh from signing a million dollars contract
1355
01:37:18,176 --> 01:37:21,946
and at a start of what we know
will be a glittering solo career
1356
01:37:22,439 --> 01:37:25,817
Singing the single "Tie Wakka Wakka Pumpkin Face"
1357
01:37:28,364 --> 01:37:32,569
Tonight, making his solo debut, formerly Cr�me Brul�e
1358
01:37:33,125 --> 01:37:37,244
Is... Les Mcqueen!
1359
01:39:24,295 --> 01:39:26,321
Well Tubbs, here we are
1360
01:39:27,335 --> 01:39:29,065
Yes, here we are
1361
01:39:30,159 --> 01:39:33,390
The shop looks so beautiful in the moonlight
1362
01:39:35,559 --> 01:39:36,984
What is it Tubbs?
1363
01:39:37,643 --> 01:39:40,115
I just had the strangest feeling
1364
01:39:40,944 --> 01:39:44,598
like someone walking over my grave
1365
01:39:45,475 --> 01:39:46,212
Look!
1366
01:39:46,443 --> 01:39:47,038
What?
1367
01:39:47,456 --> 01:39:49,192
There's a light on in the shop!
1368
01:39:49,474 --> 01:39:51,043
There's someone inside
1369
01:39:51,525 --> 01:39:53,884
Come on Tubbs, we'll soon put a stop to this
1370
01:39:54,480 --> 01:39:56,842
Careful Edward, it may be a trap
1371
01:39:57,280 --> 01:39:58,225
That's true...
1372
01:39:59,652 --> 01:40:00,483
You go first
1373
01:40:19,906 --> 01:40:21,092
Yes?
1374
01:40:22,369 --> 01:40:24,373
Sorry, are you open?
1375
01:40:24,529 --> 01:40:25,523
Yes!
1376
01:40:26,122 --> 01:40:28,249
Can I help you at all?
1377
01:40:28,842 --> 01:40:33,321
I hope so. I'm bringing some research
for a book I'm writing, it's history
1378
01:40:33,603 --> 01:40:34,743
Local history?
1379
01:40:35,237 --> 01:40:37,173
Yes and I want to know if you have any memories
1380
01:40:37,849 --> 01:40:39,383
Yes, I've got two
1381
01:40:41,452 --> 01:40:42,630
Not for sale!
1382
01:40:43,950 --> 01:40:45,631
You misunderstand me, dear lady
1383
01:40:45,824 --> 01:40:48,449
I'm trying to find out about this shop
1384
01:40:49,402 --> 01:40:50,817
What can you tell me about it?
1385
01:40:51,394 --> 01:40:53,104
This is a local shop
1386
01:40:53,110 --> 01:40:54,110
Yes
1387
01:40:56,338 --> 01:40:57,966
Well, do elaborate
1388
01:40:58,556 --> 01:40:59,837
Ablablabl�?
1389
01:41:04,744 --> 01:41:06,464
E-la-bo-rate
1390
01:41:07,184 --> 01:41:08,454
E-blablabl�!
1391
01:41:09,762 --> 01:41:13,109
Yes. I heard there was a fire
1392
01:41:13,693 --> 01:41:17,758
Yes, the man and lady who
lived here before were burnt
1393
01:41:17,843 --> 01:41:18,554
Awesome
1394
01:41:18,555 --> 01:41:20,212
Yes, him as well
1395
01:41:21,898 --> 01:41:25,469
Apparently the police found traces of petrol,
do you know anything about that?
1396
01:41:25,726 --> 01:41:27,567
Oh that could be my husband, Edward.
1397
01:41:27,881 --> 01:41:30,714
You see, he was bursting to redeem himself
1398
01:41:30,715 --> 01:41:35,432
Hello hello, what's going on?
What's all this shouting? We'll no trouble here!
1399
01:41:39,227 --> 01:41:41,178
This man's writing a history
1400
01:41:41,192 --> 01:41:42,208
Local history?
1401
01:41:42,330 --> 01:41:45,088
Yes, your wife's just about to
share her memories with me
1402
01:41:45,090 --> 01:41:46,476
Bitch! Did he pinch them?
1403
01:41:46,632 --> 01:41:49,021
No, but he wanted to...
1404
01:41:55,910 --> 01:41:58,396
A breast-pincher, eh?
1405
01:41:59,546 --> 01:42:01,171
"Mr. Tittytouch"
1406
01:42:02,977 --> 01:42:05,276
Getting warm by finger nipples women'?
1407
01:42:06,706 --> 01:42:09,020
Come across your type before in the forces
1408
01:42:09,100 --> 01:42:10,634
You wont get far!
1409
01:42:10,981 --> 01:42:14,126
Edward and Tubbs Tattsyrup
1410
01:42:14,699 --> 01:42:18,328
They died in the fire along with their son David
1411
01:42:19,157 --> 01:42:20,802
What can you tell me about them?
1412
01:42:22,506 --> 01:42:26,864
Were good people. Loving, local people
1413
01:42:27,137 --> 01:42:29,818
Their only crime was to resist change
1414
01:42:30,041 --> 01:42:31,741
They didn't like change
1415
01:42:32,140 --> 01:42:34,330
We didn't even gift change
1416
01:42:37,030 --> 01:42:37,871
We?
1417
01:42:39,327 --> 01:42:41,278
Strangers would come to the town
1418
01:42:41,923 --> 01:42:42,716
to the shop
1419
01:42:43,677 --> 01:42:45,294
Young, most of them
1420
01:42:45,895 --> 01:42:48,600
in gangs of one or two!
1421
01:42:53,483 --> 01:42:56,786
They wanted to browse, to finger the things
1422
01:42:56,814 --> 01:42:59,142
My precious things...
1423
01:43:00,116 --> 01:43:02,426
They'll offered us money in return for goods
1424
01:43:02,597 --> 01:43:03,682
Well, you are a shop!
1425
01:43:03,804 --> 01:43:05,430
Yes a local shop!
1426
01:43:06,081 --> 01:43:11,384
Selling local goods to local people!
1427
01:43:13,700 --> 01:43:15,617
We don't bothered the outside world
1428
01:43:16,029 --> 01:43:18,131
we don't want it bothering us!
1429
01:43:18,133 --> 01:43:18,764
Edward!
1430
01:43:20,773 --> 01:43:23,041
The local shop stood this sight for generations
1431
01:43:23,861 --> 01:43:30,428
reduced to ashes by ignorance and
fear of snoopy breast-pinchers like you
1432
01:43:31,962 --> 01:43:33,916
Prepare to die, stranger
1433
01:43:33,917 --> 01:43:35,857
- No Edward!
- Tubbs!
1434
01:43:35,797 --> 01:43:37,329
No more...
1435
01:43:37,550 --> 01:43:40,347
Hasn't been enough killing for one lifetime?
1436
01:43:40,389 --> 01:43:43,065
But he's not local!
1437
01:43:45,313 --> 01:43:46,435
It doesn't matter
1438
01:43:51,072 --> 01:43:51,944
What?!
1439
01:43:53,090 --> 01:43:54,408
Don't you see, Edward?
1440
01:43:55,230 --> 01:44:00,388
If you live in London, you're local to London
1441
01:44:01,530 --> 01:44:04,925
If you live in Plymouth, you're local to Plymouth
1442
01:44:06,368 --> 01:44:11,697
Everybody's local...to somewhere
1443
01:44:19,813 --> 01:44:24,342
Get out of my way Tubbs or,
so help me God, I will shoot you
1444
01:44:25,858 --> 01:44:28,682
You said we've to redeem ourselves, Edward
1445
01:44:29,706 --> 01:44:31,219
This is our chance
1446
01:44:32,387 --> 01:44:34,202
let the man go, Edward
1447
01:44:35,607 --> 01:44:38,535
let it all...go
1448
01:44:39,870 --> 01:44:42,170
Tubbs, I'm so tired...
1449
01:44:42,173 --> 01:44:44,929
You've chosen wisely!
1450
01:44:50,697 --> 01:44:55,724
And now you've earn the right to
enter the kingdom of Swansea
1451
01:44:59,422 --> 01:45:00,357
Who are you?
1452
01:45:00,731 --> 01:45:05,329
Oh, I have many names.
Some calls me Jehovah, some Muhammad, some...
1453
01:45:05,448 --> 01:45:06,521
...Mr. Tittytouch?
1454
01:45:08,932 --> 01:45:09,753
If you like
1455
01:45:10,944 --> 01:45:14,487
I knew that I had to test you to see
if you were fulled redeemed
1456
01:45:14,774 --> 01:45:16,985
and now you have atoned for your sins
1457
01:45:17,454 --> 01:45:20,739
you can spend eternity in my kingdom
1458
01:45:21,334 --> 01:45:24,404
Come! Join us!
1459
01:45:41,876 --> 01:45:44,707
Oh, Edward, it's beautiful!
1460
01:45:45,445 --> 01:45:48,389
David's here, he's loving
1461
01:45:50,437 --> 01:45:51,450
Join us!
1462
01:45:56,205 --> 01:46:00,372
Sorry, Edward. There's nothing for you here
1463
01:46:01,762 --> 01:46:06,715
Noooooooo!
1464
01:46:07,459 --> 01:46:09,895
Tuuuuubsssssss!
1465
01:46:10,091 --> 01:46:18,397
Please, don't leave meeeee!
107974
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof