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So,
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while they re-paint the lines
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in the parking lot,
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we're asking everyone
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to do street parking.
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I'm not street
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parking my Mercedes.
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Well, everyone is.
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I'm doing it.
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'Cause nobody wants
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to steal a Saturn.
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All right,
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moving on to recycling.
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You okay, Ron?
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Just a little tooth pain.
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I'm fine. Continue.
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Okay, each department
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will be getting blue bins...
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Do you need to go
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to the dentist, Ron?
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I don't like dentists.
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Just a second.
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Hey.
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No, no. No!
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No, no, no, no!
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Oh!
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What the?
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Oh, my God!
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I'm sorry, everybody.
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What were we talking about?
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Recycling?
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Dentist pulled
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the tooth out yesterday.
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But it's always a good idea
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to demonstrate
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to your co-workers
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that you are
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capable of withstanding
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a tremendous amount of pain.
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Plus, it's always
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fun to see Tom faint.
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Attention, everybody!
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Everybody, listen up.
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You are all officially invited
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to a dinner party,
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7:00 p.m. tonight at our home,
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which is officially
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my friend Burly's home,
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because I don't have a home.
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That's it.
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There's no more left.
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Give it to him.
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We've been dating
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for almost a month,
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so we just
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decided that we wanted
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to do something special.
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And dinner parties
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do combine two of
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our favorite things,
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dinner and parties.
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Parties.
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Yeah.
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It's like if you
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could have a Xbox pancake.
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Your invitations
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include requests
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for each of you
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to bring stuff,
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'cause we don't
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have a whole lot.
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Don't be late.
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Watch out.
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"Dearest Tom,
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please bring silverware."
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"Please bring cooked steak."
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This is ridiculous.
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They're young.
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They're in love.
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They're ready to
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show it to the world.
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It's very sweet.
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And we're all going.
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What?
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There's a boy's sale
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at Dillard's today.
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Hey.
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Oh, hey.
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You going tonight?
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Yeah. Apparently they want me
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to bring Avatar,
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and 50 pairs of 3-D glasses,
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and a 3-D-capable television.
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Mmm.
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Yeah.
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Well, I will see you there,
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with all of those things.
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I was actually
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coming to see you.
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I wanted your
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advice on something.
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Oh, yeah?
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My boss in Indianapolis,
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he wants me back on
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the road in a week.
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But then this morning,
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Chris offered me a job
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to stay here in
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Pawnee and work for him.
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Do you wanna do that?
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Well, I don't know.
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I've been
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moving around so much
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the past few years.
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It might be nice to stay
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in one place for a while.
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What do you think?
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Well, this is a great city.
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You know,
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it's definitely the best city
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in Indiana,
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probably America,
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possibly the world.
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Sure.
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But on the other hand,
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you've put in 12 years
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with the state government.
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So you think I
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should say no to Chris
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and head back to
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Indianapolis or...
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It's a tough call.
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You know what I would do?
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You should make
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a pros and cons list.
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That always works for me.
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Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
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Okay, maybe I'll do that.
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Excellent.
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Nice talking to you.
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Good stuff. Okay.
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Yeah.
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So how does this work?
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All right, you just
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fill out your name tag,
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and you're all set.
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Okay.
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But I mean, do I just go up
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and talk to anyone,
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or do I wait for them
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to talk to me, or...
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Are you asking me
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how to flirt with men?
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Okay. All right.
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It's a whole new Ann Perkins.
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I'm putting myself out there,
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meeting some new people,
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having some casual fun,
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and it is awkward.
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Gayle went out
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and got me this
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new party shirt.
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So be honest,
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what do you guys think?
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You know what, Jerry?
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I make fun of you a lot,
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but credit
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where credit is due.
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You know, I like how the...
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Damn it. I was so close.
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It's a terrible shirt.
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Hey, guys.
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Okay, everybody listen up.
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April's friend Orin is here.
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He's very intense
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and very weird.
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So if you end up
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talking to him,
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just make sure
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you don't reveal
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anything personal
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about yourself.
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Hey, gang.
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Hey.
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What'd you bring?
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I was in charge of the cake.
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To be fair,
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it's not a cake so much
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as it is a vegetable loaf.
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You got your mushrooms,
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your alfalfa sprouts,
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your spinach,
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and I had it sweetened
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with fruit reduction.
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But did they
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ask you to bring
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a vegetable loaf or a cake?
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No, a cake, but this
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is so much healthier.
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So not only does
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this thing exist,
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but now you have
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deprived everyone of cake.
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Take a walk, Ron.
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Yep.
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Donna. Oh, my God.
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I am so excited
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to see you here.
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These things are horrible
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when you're by yourself.
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What?
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Do you know where
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you are right now?
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We're in the jungle.
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There are no friends here.
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It's every woman for herself.
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You're joking, right?
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Do I look like I'm joking?
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Dating is a zero-sum game.
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If you get a man,
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I don't get that man.
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I'm here because of
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advice that you gave me
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to be more
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adventurous in my life.
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Here's some more advice.
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Beat it.
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Hey.
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Ben, heard you
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might be leaving Pawnee.
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I don't know.
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I'm thinking about it.
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Well, you are a huge nerd.
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But I'd be sorry
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to see you go, man.
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Thanks, Tom.
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Okay, this party
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needs a little help.
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I'll be right back.
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So are you going on, like,
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a year-long walking tour
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of the set of
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The Lord of the Rings
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in New Zealand?
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To be honest with you,
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I wasn't a fan
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of Peter Jackson's
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interpretation.
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So you can put that one away.
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Andy, I think you maybe
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should put some more food out.
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Totally agree.
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Just firing up
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the Bagel Bites now.
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Hey.
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Oh, my God.
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What do you think?
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April, you're not
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supposed to let me see you.
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No, come on.
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You have to look.
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This is important.
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You have to tell
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me if I look good.
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Hey, guys, what's going on?
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Uh... It's supposed to
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be a big surprise.
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But tonight,
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me and April
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are getting married.
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To each other.
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Is April pregnant?
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Are you pregnant?
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Yes.
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Yes?
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No.
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Are you sick?
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Are you terminal?
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Is it like that
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movie A Walk to Remember?
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Yes.
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What?
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No. God.
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Oh, God.
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Why are you doing this?
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Why is this great
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thing happening?
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Well, I mean,
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it's actually
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a really funny story.
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We were hanging out.
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And suddenly, I was like,
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"What if we got
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married tomorrow?"
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And she was like...
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"Fine."
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She's like, "Fine."
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That is a great story.
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But you guys haven't
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been together very long,
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and you have no place to live.
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We've been
303
00:06:52,310 --> 00:06:53,570
together long enough,
304
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:54,840
and we'll find
305
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:54,840
a place to live.
306
00:06:54,910 --> 00:06:56,040
Yeah.
307
00:06:56,110 --> 00:06:57,770
Like, a house or,
308
00:06:56,110 --> 00:06:57,770
like, a condo or something.
309
00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:58,940
Probably a condo.
310
00:06:59,010 --> 00:07:01,250
You can't just get a condo.
311
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,250
No, you're right. House.
312
00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:06,480
I love Andy
313
00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:06,480
and April as a couple.
314
00:07:06,550 --> 00:07:08,420
I want them to
315
00:07:06,550 --> 00:07:08,420
stay together forever.
316
00:07:08,490 --> 00:07:10,960
But relationships
317
00:07:08,490 --> 00:07:10,960
need planning.
318
00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:13,960
You just can't jump
319
00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:13,960
into something
320
00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:13,960
without thinking.
321
00:07:14,030 --> 00:07:17,260
It took me four years
322
00:07:14,030 --> 00:07:17,260
to find the right hairdresser,
323
00:07:17,330 --> 00:07:19,820
and we still
324
00:07:17,330 --> 00:07:19,820
fight all the time!
325
00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:21,770
Andy and April are
326
00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:21,770
gonna surprise people
327
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,270
with a secret ceremony.
328
00:07:23,340 --> 00:07:25,670
Whoa. Secret wedding.
329
00:07:25,740 --> 00:07:27,710
Julia Roberts
330
00:07:25,740 --> 00:07:27,710
pulled the same move.
331
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:30,250
Is that that toothy
332
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:30,250
girl from Mystic Pizza?
333
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:32,470
Ron, please, I need you
334
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:32,470
to help me knock
335
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:32,470
some sense into them.
336
00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:35,040
It's not really my place.
337
00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:35,040
Or yours.
338
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,080
Hi. I'm Ann.
339
00:07:38,150 --> 00:07:39,420
Brian.
340
00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:41,080
What's your occupation?
341
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,060
I'm a manager at
342
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,060
a sporting-goods store.
343
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,150
No way. Me, too.
344
00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:45,350
Seriously? Which one?
345
00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:49,830
No, I'm not.
346
00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:49,830
I was just ribbing you.
347
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:51,160
What are you drinking?
348
00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:52,560
Yeah.
349
00:07:52,630 --> 00:07:53,760
What?
350
00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:55,060
Oh, I don't know.
351
00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:56,900
I couldn't hear you.
352
00:07:56,970 --> 00:08:00,880
So you just
353
00:07:56,970 --> 00:08:00,880
laughed and said, "Yeah"?
354
00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:02,470
Yeah.
355
00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:02,470
Excuse us.
356
00:08:03,910 --> 00:08:05,710
That was the worst
357
00:08:03,910 --> 00:08:05,710
thing I've ever seen
358
00:08:03,910 --> 00:08:05,710
in my life.
359
00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:07,250
Did you grow up in the woods?
360
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,440
Are you Nell
361
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,440
from the movie Nell?
362
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:10,780
I told you I'm rusty.
363
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:13,680
All right, come with me.
364
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,250
Hey, Andy.
365
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,250
Yeah.
366
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,760
I know what's going down,
367
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,760
and I'm so happy for you guys.
368
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,090
Thank you, Tom.
369
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,560
Hey, something
370
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,560
just occurred to me.
371
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:21,720
Can I be your best man?
372
00:08:21,860 --> 00:08:22,960
Yeah, dude, totally.
373
00:08:23,030 --> 00:08:24,830
Thank you.
374
00:08:23,030 --> 00:08:24,830
My best man.
375
00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:25,960
Best man!
376
00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:28,330
One of my life goals
377
00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:28,330
is to be a best man.
378
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,530
It's a baller position.
379
00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:31,810
You get drunk.
380
00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:31,810
You make speeches.
381
00:08:31,870 --> 00:08:34,840
And you make love
382
00:08:31,870 --> 00:08:34,840
to the prettiest bridesmaid,
383
00:08:34,910 --> 00:08:37,110
usually standing, from behind.
384
00:08:37,180 --> 00:08:39,440
Look, I know
385
00:08:37,180 --> 00:08:39,440
that I cannot
386
00:08:37,180 --> 00:08:39,440
tell you what to do.
387
00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:40,980
I know it doesn't work,
388
00:08:41,050 --> 00:08:43,450
from all the times I've tried
389
00:08:41,050 --> 00:08:43,450
to tell you what to do before.
390
00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:44,780
But you know
391
00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:44,780
what would be fun?
392
00:08:44,850 --> 00:08:47,220
Maybe we should make
393
00:08:44,850 --> 00:08:47,220
a pros and cons list.
394
00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:49,310
Let me take you home,
395
00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:49,310
and then we'll go
396
00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:49,310
do that together.
397
00:08:49,390 --> 00:08:50,380
It'll be a blast.
398
00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:51,820
Leslie, relax.
399
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,330
You relax.
400
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,760
You relax all the way
401
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,760
home and get into bed.
402
00:08:55,830 --> 00:08:56,990
You need to go to bed.
403
00:08:57,130 --> 00:08:58,290
April.
404
00:08:58,370 --> 00:08:59,800
Girl talk.
405
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:02,300
Hey, what's your middle name?
406
00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:04,270
The justice of
407
00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:04,270
the peace lady needs to know.
408
00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:06,000
You don't know each
409
00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:06,000
other's middle names?
410
00:09:06,070 --> 00:09:08,570
I don't wanna say it out loud.
411
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:10,840
Ew.
412
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:10,840
Shut up.
413
00:09:12,350 --> 00:09:13,370
Roberta!
414
00:09:13,450 --> 00:09:14,440
Such a loser.
415
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:15,920
Can't believe
416
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:15,920
I'm marrying him.
417
00:09:16,020 --> 00:09:17,420
You don't have to.
418
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,950
I'm going to.
419
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,950
And then I'm
420
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,950
gonna divorce him.
421
00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:22,490
Then I'm gonna
422
00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:22,490
marry him again.
423
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:26,150
One time, I fell madly in love
424
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:26,150
with a Civil War reenactor
425
00:09:26,230 --> 00:09:27,860
that I had only
426
00:09:26,230 --> 00:09:27,860
known for six hours.
427
00:09:27,930 --> 00:09:29,960
And then I found out
428
00:09:27,930 --> 00:09:29,960
he wore those clothes
429
00:09:30,030 --> 00:09:31,660
all the time.
430
00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:32,830
And he was married.
431
00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:35,560
But the clothes
432
00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:35,560
thing really bothered me.
433
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,670
You always wanna
434
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,670
scribble the name.
435
00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:41,370
Make 'em read.
436
00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:41,370
Draw them in.
437
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:42,470
Make 'em work for it.
438
00:09:42,610 --> 00:09:43,670
Right.
439
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,180
Two shots of Jameson.
440
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:47,940
Don't make too
441
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:47,940
much eye contact.
442
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:50,950
You wanna seem available,
443
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:50,950
but not too available.
444
00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:52,750
Oh, thanks.
445
00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:52,750
I think I'm good for now.
446
00:09:52,820 --> 00:09:53,810
I'm not gonna...
447
00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:54,880
Yeah.
448
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,560
All right.
449
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,560
Let's do this.
450
00:10:01,530 --> 00:10:06,020
Ron, you are so amazing
451
00:10:01,530 --> 00:10:06,020
with me and April, stuff.
452
00:10:06,970 --> 00:10:08,730
I love you, man.
453
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,070
Would you be one
454
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,070
of my best men?
455
00:10:10,870 --> 00:10:14,000
I'd be honored to, son.
456
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,810
Chris,
457
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,810
you helped me get April back.
458
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:18,640
Would you be my best man?
459
00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:22,150
Nothing else in my entire life
460
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:24,550
would make me
461
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:24,550
happier as long as I live.
462
00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:25,750
Jerry.
463
00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:29,410
I'm so glad you made it.
464
00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:29,410
This shirt is hilarious.
465
00:10:29,490 --> 00:10:32,860
Derek and Ben,
466
00:10:29,490 --> 00:10:32,860
will you be my best men?
467
00:10:32,930 --> 00:10:35,520
Got a little competition
468
00:10:32,930 --> 00:10:35,520
for the best man, huh?
469
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,930
Well, you know what
470
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,930
the best best man does.
471
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,830
Excuse me!
472
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,690
Are there any strippers here?
473
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,330
Former strippers?
474
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:46,670
Non-dancers
475
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:46,670
but you're feeling
476
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:46,670
a little bit drunk?
477
00:10:46,740 --> 00:10:48,070
What are you doing?
478
00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:50,140
I'm throwing Andy
479
00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:50,140
an impromptu bachelor party.
480
00:10:50,210 --> 00:10:51,770
It's my duty as best man.
481
00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:53,340
The wedding's in four minutes.
482
00:10:53,410 --> 00:10:54,810
It's that kind of
483
00:10:53,410 --> 00:10:54,810
negative thinking
484
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,410
that makes you
485
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,410
a less good best man.
486
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,950
Hello?
487
00:10:59,020 --> 00:11:00,040
Hi, Ann, it's Leslie,
488
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:01,820
Leslie Knope from
489
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:01,820
the Parks Department.
490
00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:03,690
Yeah, I know.
491
00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:03,690
Where are you?
492
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,490
April and Andy are
493
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,490
getting married tonight.
494
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,390
What?
495
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,390
Yeah, I know.
496
00:11:07,460 --> 00:11:08,830
I need you to
497
00:11:07,460 --> 00:11:08,830
get down here, Ann.
498
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:12,490
I need you to kiss him again
499
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:12,490
or kiss her or kiss somebody.
500
00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:15,300
I don't know, Ann!
501
00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:15,300
Help me, please!
502
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:17,360
Relationships are
503
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:17,360
like scuba diving.
504
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:20,370
If you come up too fast,
505
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:20,370
you get the bends.
506
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,700
And the reason why I know this
507
00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:23,110
is because I was
508
00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:23,110
dating a guy once,
509
00:11:23,180 --> 00:11:24,270
and we were scuba diving,
510
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,750
and I told him that I
511
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,750
loved him underwater,
512
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,340
and he shot up really fast,
513
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,340
and he got the bends.
514
00:11:28,420 --> 00:11:32,350
No, Orin, I don't know
515
00:11:28,420 --> 00:11:32,350
how I'm going to die.
516
00:11:32,420 --> 00:11:34,750
Wait. Are you
517
00:11:32,420 --> 00:11:34,750
asking me or telling me?
518
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:36,020
Hey, can I talk to
519
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:36,020
you for a second?
520
00:11:36,090 --> 00:11:37,150
Yes, please.
521
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,220
April and Andy are
522
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,220
about to get married.
523
00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:43,390
Wow. My Brita filter's older
524
00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:43,390
than their relationship.
525
00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:45,330
Wait a second.
526
00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:45,330
Should I change
527
00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:45,330
my Brita filter?
528
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,430
I don't know.
529
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,430
It depends on how
530
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,430
frequently you use it.
531
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,440
True.
532
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,440
Stay focused, okay? Please.
533
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,000
The point is two boneheads,
534
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,000
whom I love dearly,
535
00:11:52,070 --> 00:11:53,560
are about to
536
00:11:52,070 --> 00:11:53,560
sacrifice their future
537
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:54,730
'cause they haven't thought
538
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:54,730
this thing through.
539
00:11:54,810 --> 00:11:56,510
And nobody seems
540
00:11:54,810 --> 00:11:56,510
concerned about this.
541
00:11:56,580 --> 00:11:57,640
Attention, everybody.
542
00:11:57,710 --> 00:12:02,710
Mesdames and... Missoirs.
543
00:12:02,820 --> 00:12:08,090
If you would do
544
00:12:02,820 --> 00:12:08,090
me the obligation
545
00:12:02,820 --> 00:12:08,090
of having your honor,
546
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:13,890
heretofore, in the room
547
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:13,890
doth right over there,
548
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:13,890
hence.
549
00:12:14,030 --> 00:12:15,090
What?
550
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,100
Big event in that room,
551
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,100
15 minutes.
552
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,000
Oh, my God.
553
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,000
This is really happening.
554
00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:22,870
I love April and Andy.
555
00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:22,870
I want them to stay together.
556
00:12:22,940 --> 00:12:26,030
And that is why I have
557
00:12:22,940 --> 00:12:26,030
to stop their wedding.
558
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,670
Hi, guys,
559
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,670
remember how I told you
560
00:12:29,740 --> 00:12:31,510
there was going to
561
00:12:29,740 --> 00:12:31,510
be a surprise later?
562
00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:35,680
Well, the surprise is
563
00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:35,680
you are not actually
564
00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:35,680
at a dinner party.
565
00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:38,950
You're at our wedding.
566
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,090
All right.
567
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,090
Let's do this.
568
00:13:08,180 --> 00:13:11,180
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE:
569
00:13:08,180 --> 00:13:11,180
Ladies and gentlemen,
570
00:13:08,180 --> 00:13:11,180
we are gathered here today
571
00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:16,320
to marry Andrew Maxwell Dwyer
572
00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:16,320
and April Roberta Ludgate.
573
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:20,490
I guess I kind of
574
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:20,490
hate most things.
575
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:23,120
But I never really
576
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:23,120
seem to hate you.
577
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:27,060
So, I wanna spend
578
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:27,060
the rest of my life with you.
579
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,160
Is that cool?
580
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,260
Yes.
581
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,370
Is it my turn?
582
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,370
Yes.
583
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,500
"April, you're
584
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,500
the most awesome person
585
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,740
"I have ever known
586
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,740
in my entire life.
587
00:13:36,810 --> 00:13:41,270
"I vow to protect
588
00:13:36,810 --> 00:13:41,270
you from danger.
589
00:13:41,350 --> 00:13:42,440
"I don't care if
590
00:13:41,350 --> 00:13:42,440
I have to fight
591
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:45,980
"an ultimate fighter,
592
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:45,980
or a bear, or him,
593
00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:48,420
"your mom...
594
00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:48,420
I would take 'em down."
595
00:13:48,490 --> 00:13:49,750
Andy.
596
00:13:49,820 --> 00:13:51,850
I'm getting mad right now
597
00:13:49,820 --> 00:13:51,850
even thinking about it.
598
00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:53,190
I'm telling you.
599
00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:53,190
It's okay.
600
00:13:53,260 --> 00:13:57,560
I wanna spend
601
00:13:53,260 --> 00:13:57,560
the rest of my life,
602
00:13:53,260 --> 00:13:57,560
every minute, with you.
603
00:13:57,630 --> 00:14:00,800
And I'm the luckiest
604
00:13:57,630 --> 00:14:00,800
man in the galaxy.
605
00:14:02,370 --> 00:14:05,470
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE:
606
00:14:02,370 --> 00:14:05,470
And now the rings.
607
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,780
By the power vested in me
608
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,780
by the State of Indiana,
609
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:15,040
I now pronounce
610
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:15,040
you husband and wife.
611
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:22,050
Go fly away.
612
00:14:22,190 --> 00:14:23,180
Fly!
613
00:14:23,260 --> 00:14:24,350
Fly!
614
00:14:23,260 --> 00:14:24,350
Wings of love.
615
00:14:25,630 --> 00:14:26,790
Okay. All right.
616
00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:28,330
So that one is dead.
617
00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:28,330
We know that.
618
00:14:40,940 --> 00:14:43,040
You wouldn't have
619
00:14:40,940 --> 00:14:43,040
been able to stop it,
620
00:14:40,940 --> 00:14:43,040
you know.
621
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:46,450
I could've yelled something
622
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:46,450
or tackled someone.
623
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,920
But you didn't,
624
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,920
because deep down,
625
00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:50,580
you knew it
626
00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:50,580
wouldn't have mattered.
627
00:14:50,650 --> 00:14:52,480
Those kids are gonna do
628
00:14:50,650 --> 00:14:52,480
what they wanna do.
629
00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:54,180
They may have just
630
00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:54,180
ruined their lives
631
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,050
on an impulse decision.
632
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,060
Leslie, I got married twice.
633
00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:00,560
Both times, I was
634
00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:00,560
a lot older than those two.
635
00:15:00,630 --> 00:15:04,290
And both marriages
636
00:15:00,630 --> 00:15:04,290
ended in divorce...
637
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:05,990
And a burning effigy.
638
00:15:06,070 --> 00:15:08,540
Who's to say what works?
639
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,870
You find somebody you like,
640
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,870
and you roll the dice.
641
00:15:11,940 --> 00:15:13,310
That's all anybody can do.
642
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,940
Wait. Weren't you
643
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,940
married three times?
644
00:15:17,010 --> 00:15:19,540
Oh, my God, you're right.
645
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:24,020
I get to burn another effigy.
646
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,680
The key to burning
647
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,680
an ex-wife effigy
648
00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:28,850
is to dip it in paraffin wax
649
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,690
and then toss
650
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,690
the flaming bottle
651
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,690
of isopropyl alcohol
652
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:34,490
from a safe distance.
653
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,360
Do not stand too close
654
00:15:36,430 --> 00:15:39,060
when you light
655
00:15:36,430 --> 00:15:39,060
an ex-wife effigy.
656
00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:42,660
My sister is lame,
657
00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:42,660
but Andy's sort of cool.
658
00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:45,400
I guess I kind of
659
00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:45,400
see why he'd marry her.
660
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:48,140
Also, if anyone
661
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:48,140
finds my gray hoodie,
662
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:48,140
I lost it.
663
00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:49,580
Thanks.
664
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,080
That was beautiful.
665
00:15:54,150 --> 00:15:58,980
You two remind me
666
00:15:54,150 --> 00:15:58,980
of me and my husband, George.
667
00:15:59,050 --> 00:16:00,890
I gotta nail the speech.
668
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,420
So I brought in an expert.
669
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,420
Jean-Ralphio.
670
00:16:03,490 --> 00:16:05,260
Can I throw something on you,
671
00:16:03,490 --> 00:16:05,260
see if it feels good?
672
00:16:05,330 --> 00:16:06,620
Sure.
673
00:16:05,330 --> 00:16:06,620
Okay, this is what I would do.
674
00:16:06,690 --> 00:16:07,820
I would start with a joke.
675
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,830
Joke, Vince Vaughn quote,
676
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,830
obviously.
677
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:12,160
Swingers or Crashers?
678
00:16:12,230 --> 00:16:13,460
Fred Claus.
679
00:16:13,530 --> 00:16:15,260
Talk about
680
00:16:13,530 --> 00:16:15,260
Andy's ex-girlfriends.
681
00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:19,930
Quote from Love Actually.
682
00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:19,930
Hold back your tears. Pause.
683
00:16:20,010 --> 00:16:22,840
Drop the microphone.
684
00:16:20,010 --> 00:16:22,840
Get out of that bitch.
685
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:25,540
I wish you the best of luck,
686
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:25,540
to both of you.
687
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,450
Thank you, Grandma.
688
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,280
How could anyone
689
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,280
ever possibly top that?
690
00:16:33,350 --> 00:16:35,020
Am I right?
691
00:16:35,090 --> 00:16:36,960
So, thank you all
692
00:16:35,090 --> 00:16:36,960
for all the talking.
693
00:16:37,020 --> 00:16:38,790
Let's just get
694
00:16:37,020 --> 00:16:38,790
back to dancing, huh?
695
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:44,570
Cool. See you around, maybe.
696
00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:46,070
That went better, right?
697
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,500
Yes, it did.
698
00:16:47,570 --> 00:16:50,630
However, he proudly told me
699
00:16:47,570 --> 00:16:50,630
that he "beat herpes."
700
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,870
I'm sorry, Donna.
701
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,870
I'm gonna go home.
702
00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:55,140
I just found out
703
00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:55,140
Andy's getting married.
704
00:16:55,210 --> 00:16:56,840
So?
705
00:16:56,910 --> 00:16:58,470
So that's my ex-boyfriend.
706
00:16:58,550 --> 00:17:00,070
We were together for
707
00:16:58,550 --> 00:17:00,070
a really long time.
708
00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:01,380
All right.
709
00:17:01,450 --> 00:17:02,610
What?
710
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:06,310
What? Listen,
711
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:06,310
you are a hot, young doctor.
712
00:17:06,390 --> 00:17:07,380
I'm a nurse, actually.
713
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,450
Okay, I don't know you.
714
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,690
But I do know that you
715
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,690
can fix your attitude.
716
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,420
Do you wanna go home
717
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,420
and feel sorry for yourself
718
00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:13,930
about a man you
719
00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:13,930
didn't wanna marry?
720
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,520
Or do you wanna go
721
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,520
talk to that cute boy,
722
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:18,030
who has been looking at you,
723
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:18,030
and give him your number
724
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,860
before I throw him
725
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,860
in my Benz for myself?
726
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,400
All right.
727
00:17:25,510 --> 00:17:29,000
I just wanna thank
728
00:17:25,510 --> 00:17:29,000
my family, my friends,
729
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:33,450
most importantly,
730
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:33,450
my best best man,
731
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:33,450
Mr. Tom Haverford.
732
00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:36,010
Oh! Coolest guy I know.
733
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,950
And, ladies,
734
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,950
he's single, I think.
735
00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:39,210
You're not still married,
736
00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:39,210
are you?
737
00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:40,810
No.
738
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,510
But you... You're straight?
739
00:17:42,590 --> 00:17:44,490
Yes.
740
00:17:42,590 --> 00:17:44,490
Jean-Ralphio's just a friend?
741
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,360
Yeah.
742
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,360
Yeah!
743
00:17:46,430 --> 00:17:49,300
Anyways,
744
00:17:46,430 --> 00:17:49,300
oh, my God, I'm married!
745
00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:53,030
This is crazy.
746
00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:53,030
What happened?
747
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:56,070
But, seriously,
748
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:56,070
life is short, right?
749
00:17:57,070 --> 00:18:00,840
Uh, just... I really
750
00:17:57,070 --> 00:18:00,840
think you should just do
751
00:17:57,070 --> 00:18:00,840
whatever makes you happy.
752
00:18:00,910 --> 00:18:03,470
That's what April and I did.
753
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,070
We are in love.
754
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:07,310
So we didn't overthink it.
755
00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:11,680
I mean, seriously,
756
00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:11,680
I cannot emphasize
757
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:13,650
how little we
758
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:13,650
thought about this.
759
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,310
Am I right?
760
00:18:15,390 --> 00:18:18,990
All right, well, this is
761
00:18:15,390 --> 00:18:18,990
a song I wrote for you,
762
00:18:19,060 --> 00:18:21,720
April Roberta Ludgate.
763
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,360
I love you.
764
00:18:23,430 --> 00:18:24,490
I love you.
765
00:18:24,930 --> 00:18:26,700
Yeah, yeah
766
00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:29,700
Oh, Grandma
767
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,500
April, there's so little time
768
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,410
The things I really want to do
769
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:42,510
Let's fly to the sky
770
00:18:43,850 --> 00:18:45,410
It's so awesome
771
00:18:45,490 --> 00:18:47,390
Exactly. Mortality.
772
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,120
See, I like to take
773
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,120
each day at a time.
774
00:18:49,190 --> 00:18:52,560
There's nothing
775
00:18:49,190 --> 00:18:52,560
in the world we can't
776
00:18:49,190 --> 00:18:52,560
accomplish if we try.
777
00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:53,820
I have to go.
778
00:18:53,890 --> 00:18:55,020
It's been great
779
00:18:53,890 --> 00:18:55,020
talking to you.
780
00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,660
Hey.
781
00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,660
Don't worry.
782
00:18:59,730 --> 00:19:02,360
I'm not gonna
783
00:18:59,730 --> 00:19:02,360
say another word.
784
00:18:59,730 --> 00:19:02,360
This is your day.
785
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,600
I just wanted to say that...
786
00:19:06,310 --> 00:19:07,610
I'm really glad you're here.
787
00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:11,880
I think you're awesome,
788
00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:11,880
and I love you.
789
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,650
What's the deal with
790
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,650
that hot girl, April?
791
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,590
What's the deal with her?
792
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,590
Yeah.
793
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,090
Like, is she good to go?
794
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,090
Like, is she down to clown?
795
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,850
She's married.
796
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,960
She got married,
797
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,960
like, 20 minutes ago.
798
00:19:29,030 --> 00:19:31,900
Oh, my God.
799
00:19:29,030 --> 00:19:31,900
That's the same
800
00:19:29,030 --> 00:19:31,900
girl from the thing.
801
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,940
From the wedding ceremony,
802
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,940
yeah.
803
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,470
All the good ones
804
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,470
are taken, huh, bro?
805
00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:40,370
Yeah.
806
00:19:46,180 --> 00:19:47,410
Hey.
807
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,310
You should stay.
808
00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:55,950
Don't go back to Indianapolis.
809
00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:55,950
You should stay here.
810
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:57,550
You think?
811
00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,120
Yeah. Yes.
812
00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:01,060
It's a great
813
00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:01,060
city here, you know?
814
00:20:01,130 --> 00:20:02,360
And there are great people.
815
00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:03,860
And you've made
816
00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:03,860
a lot of friends.
817
00:20:03,930 --> 00:20:05,230
And what are you gonna do?
818
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:09,100
You gonna go
819
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:09,100
back to your old job
820
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:09,100
and hack up people's budgets?
821
00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:11,940
Stay here.
822
00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:11,940
Help us build something.
823
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,440
I already accepted the job.
824
00:20:14,810 --> 00:20:16,210
I'm staying here.
825
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:18,470
That's good.
826
00:20:18,610 --> 00:20:19,600
Yeah, I think so.
827
00:20:22,820 --> 00:20:24,010
Orin's behind me, isn't he?
828
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,280
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
829
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,340
Okay.
830
00:20:26,420 --> 00:20:27,620
So just keep your eyes on me.
831
00:20:26,420 --> 00:20:27,620
Okay.
832
00:20:27,690 --> 00:20:28,990
Don't panic,
833
00:20:27,690 --> 00:20:28,990
'cause he can smell fear.
834
00:20:29,060 --> 00:20:30,050
What do I...
835
00:20:29,060 --> 00:20:30,050
Just keep talking to me.
836
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:31,180
Hi.
837
00:20:31,260 --> 00:20:32,320
How are you?
838
00:20:31,260 --> 00:20:32,320
Good. How are you?
839
00:20:32,390 --> 00:20:33,830
How was the wedding?
840
00:20:32,390 --> 00:20:33,830
Run!
841
00:20:38,130 --> 00:20:40,120
"Hey, Ann, it was great
842
00:20:38,130 --> 00:20:40,120
talking to you last night.
843
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,190
"Hope we can get
844
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,190
together soon."
845
00:20:42,740 --> 00:20:44,930
Okay, now you write,
846
00:20:42,740 --> 00:20:44,930
"Who is this?"
847
00:20:45,470 --> 00:20:47,810
Hey, you guys,
848
00:20:45,470 --> 00:20:47,810
we got a video
849
00:20:45,470 --> 00:20:47,810
from April and Andy.
850
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,140
Oh. Okay.
851
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,370
How you guys doing?
852
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,440
Hey, we're on our honeymoon.
853
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,440
It is awesome.
854
00:20:52,550 --> 00:20:56,920
We're at Burly's family
855
00:20:52,550 --> 00:20:56,920
vacation house
856
00:20:52,550 --> 00:20:56,920
on Lake Michigan.
857
00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:58,540
We're having so much fun.
858
00:20:58,620 --> 00:21:01,610
Except for Roberta, here,
859
00:20:58,620 --> 00:21:01,610
turns out,
860
00:20:58,620 --> 00:21:01,610
sucks at water skiing.
861
00:21:01,690 --> 00:21:03,280
Oh, my God.
862
00:21:01,690 --> 00:21:03,280
So bad. I'm gonna divorce you.
863
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:04,880
Andy sucks at driving a boat.
864
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,590
And I'm gonna divorce him,
865
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,590
probably right now.
866
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,430
Well, they're still together.
867
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,430
You owe me 20 bucks.
46868
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