Original subtitles

Gee whiz.

The Harvest Festival

was a real triumph.

We had over

eighty thousand people

in attendance,

which surpassed our

wildest expectations.

I would like to

specifically

single out Leslie Knope.

I speak for the mayor,

city council,

and all of Pawnee

when I say we

can't wait to see

what the heck

you're going to do next.

Step on up here, Les.

Thank you.

Paul, are you okay?

Uh...

Oh, my gosh.

Holy!

Oh, my God.

Call 911!

That was the second

most awkward way

a man has ever

grabbed my breast.

All right, guys.

Everybody, listen up.

Just a few notes

about our camping

retreat tomorrow.

We're all gonna meet here

and leave as a group

at 6:45 a.m., promptly.

Why are we doing this?

Harvest Fest is over.

We do not wanna

have a sophomore slump.

This camping trip is

our chance to think

of some really big ideas.

Why don't you just tell us

what our next project is,

and I'll go camping

by myself.

Look, I have ideas, Ron.

Okay? I have, like,

100 new ideas.

But the point is,

the pressure is on.

We only have one chance

to make a second impression.

What portion of

this camping trip

will take place outside?

All of it.

Pass.

Can't pass.

It's a mandatory work retreat.

I have a question.

What if we're

scaling a cliff

and I start to fall?

Can I grab onto

your boob for support?

No, Tom, don't.

Her boob kills.

My boob

does not kill.

Paul did not die.

He had a heart attack,

which required

an octuple bypass.

Besides, the Pawnee Sun said

that my chest saved his life.

How's the best municipal

department in Pawnee?

That's you guys.

Paul is going to be

recuperating for a while.

So, the mayor asked me

to step in as City Manager.

And I of course

accepted immediately

because Pawnee is literally

the greatest

town in the country.

Of course,

I am gonna miss Indianapolis,

which is the most

wonderful city in America.

I'm so excited to be working

with you all again.

And Leslie, I cannot wait

to hear your new big idea.

I wanna hit

the ground running,

and your new mystery project

is going to be

the hydration pack

that gets me to

the finish line.

You're all my

little hydration packs.

I'm sure I am not.

Ron.

Are, too.

Hydration pack!

Hey, you gotta hear

this hilarious story

that he's telling me.

Tell her what happened.

My identity was stolen.

His identity was stolen.

Tell her about

the accounts.

They were frozen.

Frozen.

Bye, Kyle.

Where are you going?

Oh, my God.

How's the coolest

chick ever?

Not good.

What do you mean?

Leslie's making us go

on a camping retreat.

That's awesome.

Camping's the best.

Camping sucks.

It's super boring.

And you can see the stars,

which I hate.

They're creepy.

I love camping.

I bet you I can get

you to love it, too.

Why don't I meet you

out there?

If you hate it,

we'll leave and go make out.

But if you love it,

we'll stay and make out.

Either way,

a ton of making out.

You in?

Ann Perkins.

Chris.

Hey. I heard you were back.

Yeah.

I didn't do this

because of you.

Well, it looks great.

Yeah, you look great.

Am I right? It's...

So good running into you.

You know,

we should get together soon.

I'd love to catch up.

Me, too.

Catch up and mustard.

Ketchup and mustard.

I just was...

Oh!

So delightful.

I relish your wit.

Well, I salsa your face.

I should hate him.

He broke up with me.

Well, there was

an ex that I still liked

after he broke up with me.

But it was really

hard to stay mad at him.

He was an amazing dentist.

You know, when he saw me,

I swear his face lit up.

Ann.

What do you think

"We should get

together soon" means?

No. Do not read into this.

Remember, this is the guy

that was so

upbeat and positive,

when he broke up with you,

you didn't even

know it happened.

Yeah.

Come camping with us.

It'll be really fun.

You'll be away from Chris.

You can brainstorm.

I'll give you

first dibs on s'mores.

Okay. That sounds fun.

Here is our

official retreat schedule.

It divides our time evenly

between work and play.

Come on, everybody.

Let's hustle.

Let's get to

the brainstorming!

Great attitude, Ron.

I just wanna

get the work over

as soon as possible

so I can do some fishing.

Fishing relaxes me.

It's like yoga,

except I still get

to kill something.

All right.

I call this wonderful spot.

You didn't bring a tent?

I don't really go

camping ever, Jerry.

So, I'm not going to

spend $150 on a tent.

I'm just gonna

sleep on the floor.

It's called the ground

when it's outside.

Whatever.

Why? Do you guys do

this a lot? Camping?

I've never been before,

but I think I'm gonna love it.

Why am I gonna love it?

SkyMall.

Come check out my tent.

I ordered a bunch

of crap off SkyMall.

I got my TV, my Xbox, DVD.

Awesome bed right there.

DJ Roomba's in the mix.

It's like I'm

not even camping.

This is actually

a dog couch,

but it's super comfortable.

It's really important to me

that April loves camping.

So, I went ahead

and set up the ultimate

campsite love nest.

Complete with

beautiful starlight.

We got champagne.

Also, rose petals.

As you can see,

they smell terrific.

We need big ideas,

and we need 'em now.

Who wants to go first?

I propose that we take

all the money we made

from the Harvest Festival

and return it to the citizens.

So, how much would

that be per person?

About 83 cents.

Per household.

Before postage.

Are we done?

What do Jay-Z, Lil Wayne,

and Drake all have in common?

Oh, I know this one.

They are all rappists.

Oh, my God.

They're rappers, Jerry.

And what they have

in common is none of them

have ever performed

in Pawnee. Why?

Because we don't have

an adequate concert venue.

Until now.

The Pawnee Amphitheater.

How much would that cost?

Not that much.

$200, $300 million.

Right.

Great.

Luxury dog park.

Do you want to

tell us any more?

Poodles only. No pooping.

Hey. Where are you?

I'm here.

Where are you?

We're inside

the main entrance,

near the sign that says

"Pawnee Campground."

I'm in a totally

different place.

That's why we

can't see each other.

My God, Andy,

I don't even wanna be here.

The air is too fresh.

It's disgusting.

I can't breathe.

There's a brook somewhere

that won't stop babbling.

Shut up!

Sweetheart. Just hold tight

and I'll be there.

Well, April is right here.

And I am down here somewhere.

How about we just

invest the money?

Make 4% a year.

You know, set up

a nice little nest egg

for the city.

What do you think?

Great idea.

Thanks, white Urkel.

All right. Maybe it's

not the sexiest idea,

Tom, but it's smart.

What are you even

still doing here?

Harvest Festival is over.

Shouldn't you be

back in Indianapolis?

Hey. Ben helped us launch

the Harvest Festival,

and he knows how

Chris's mind works.

And he's a valuable

asset to the team.

Thank you.

April has not

presented her idea.

April?

I didn't come

up with anything.

Why?

Because I know that

whatever we come up with

isn't gonna be

good enough anyway,

and we're just

gonna go with your idea.

She's got a point.

Leslie, just tell

us what your idea is

so I can go back

to the Thunderdome.

That's what I'm

calling my tent.

I am really

disappointed

in all of you.

You know,

the whole town is looking

at us right now.

And you're letting 'em down.

Take an hour.

Go clear your heads

and see if you can

come up with a real idea

that we can use.

And also,

see if you're interested

in contributing

to this department.

Then, after that,

I will tell you my idea.

Wow. You really

let 'em have it.

Well, I had no choice.

I didn't wanna

tell them my idea.

Why not?

Because I don't have one.

I don't have

an idea, Ann.

I'm so screwed, Ann.

The meeting is tomorrow,

and I don't have anything.

Why not just build the park

on the lot behind my house?

Chris wants the new project

to generate revenue.

What about those

binders in your office?

They're filled

with small ideas.

We need a big,

juicy idea.

I'm so desperate,

I even brought in

my dream journal,

hoping it would inspire me.

"I married ALF and

we're pretty happy."

That sounds nice.

It was.

Okay, listen to me.

You are smart and

creative and talented,

and you're gonna be fine.

You're probably right.

I just need an hour

and it'll come to me.

Hello?

Andy, you have to save me.

I'm camping with

people I work with.

Hello. April.

Hello?

Walk around in circles

like I am.

Help triangulate

the phone call.

Hello?

Hang on.

I'm gonna try to

get to higher ground.

I found some thorns.

I mean, yes,

my daughter might

think she is old enough

to be sexually

active with her boyfriend.

But I'm sorry, 16,

that just seems too young

to be on birth control.

You know,

I was 24 when Gayle

took my virginity.

What say we just

stand here in silence

and think of

ideas for projects?

You know what I should do?

I should lead a teen

abstinence workshop.

That might be

incredibly effective.

Hey, Tom.

One second.

I'm just in the middle

of a head massage.

Well, that's a good

stopping point.

What's up?

Uh...

You wanna bounce

some ideas off each other?

Here's a better idea.

How about I bounce

my way over to my dog couch

and watch a little

Season Six of Top Chef?

All right.

I know Leslie seems upset.

But the truth is,

she's better than us

at this stuff by

a thousand miles.

So, there's really no point.

Care for some fondue?

Yeah.

Hey. How do you

afford all this stuff?

I just return it the next day

and claim it was defective.

The key is crying a lot.

No one likes to

hear a grown man cry.

"And then,

my hand accidentally went

in the panini press!"

Hey. You wanna go

for a walk?

Yeah.

Wow. The sky

is really beautiful.

It's pollution from

the Sweetums factory.

It's gorgeous,

but is it worth

the asthma?

No.

Ben, this new project idea,

it's not really a big deal.

I'm probably making

too much out of it.

Oh, no, no.

It's really big.

I mean,

you got everyone's attention

with the Harvest Festival.

Now, you're gonna

seal the deal.

It's the chance

you've been waiting for.

What if

the festival was, like,

a high point for me,

and I never do

anything better than that?

Then you wouldn't

be Leslie Knope.

So, I have to keep

thinking about good ideas

all the time,

or I'm no longer myself?

No, no, no.

No, no. Not at all.

I've just honestly

never met someone

who works as hard as you do.

I mean, you're like

the Energizer Bunny

of city government.

And when she looked

in the back of her car,

she saw that even though

it was her own

private property,

she would be

forced to take it in

for a state inspection!

Okay, guys. Listen up.

What was that?

That was me talking.

No, I heard it, too.

Andy?

If that's a coyote,

someone needs

to pick me up

off the ground now.

Oh, my God!

Hey, guys.

What are you doing here?

I was just out for

my nighttime run,

and I thought,

"Why not go visit

the Parks Department?"

How's everything going here?

Super great. Really well.

We have a great idea.

Tell me now while I

sit on this boulder.

I'm much more

receptive to new ideas

when my heart rate

is still elevated.

Chris, do you

wanna maybe just

talk for a minute?

Let them work?

Oh! Sure.

What was that? What was that?

Leslie,

just tell us your idea.

Los Angeles, Season One

isn't gonna watch itself.

Here it is.

What do you think?

I don't have an idea.

I'm sorry.

I thought if we all

worked really hard,

I could come up

with something.

But I don't have anything,

and we're totally screwed.

And what we need to

do is just keep working

and just work again more

and just do it and get it.

And then we got it

and we're good.

Go with that.

I think

I'm gonna turn in.

You're not

going anywhere.

No one's going anywhere.

No one's sleeping

because this is

an all-nighter.

And that'll be fun.

We'll all stay up

and then, I'll be like,

"Hey! No one sleep!"

Do you hear

how loud that is?

You're not

sleeping through that.

Is there anything else

to eat?

The marshmallows

are all gone.

We have nothing to eat.

Jerry scared all the fish away

with his loud

personal stories.

I wanna go home.

I miss my canopy bed.

Yeah. I'm fine

with not camping.

Especially since

my stupid boyfriend

abandoned me!

I'll fire up the van.

You know,

I've never moved

this slowly before.

It's almost like

being in quicksand.

Hey, um, listen.

When you dumped me,

it was really embarrassing.

You just kind of took off.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I mean,

I never meant to hurt you.

And well, I'm back now.

Hey, I have a great idea.

Why don't we go

to this rustic

diner that I know?

We can have egg white omelets

and we can

continue to talk about us.

Sounds good.

No, no.

Chocolate

or butterscotch?

Swirl me.

Dude, camping is awesome.

I love it.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

How long have you

been running power

to this tent?

I don't know.

How long have we

been here?

Ten hours.

No! I was TiVoing

Cupcake Wars.

This is ridiculous!

Look, I am used

to a certain level

of comfort in my life,

and I didn't want

to sacrifice that.

Okay, well,

I packed everything up.

So, now, you're telling me

I have to go unpack it?

Guys, this is a sign.

You wanted to leave,

and now you're

stuck here with me.

So, we can work all night.

This is gonna be so much fun!

All-night work!

All-night work!

You know what? There's

a bed and breakfast

right up the road.

I'm gonna head there.

Yes. Let's keep brainstorming.

I have a good

feeling about this B&B.

One day, there's

gonna be a plaque there

that reads,

"This is where

Leslie Knope came up

with the amazing idea for..."

Damn,

I thought that would work.

Welcome

to the Quiet Corn.

I'm Elsa Clack.

Breakfast is served

between 5:30 and 6:15 a.m.

What if we sleep

to a normal hour?

Well, that would

be very rude of you.

May I take your

breakfast order?

We have hardboiled eggs,

homemade tomato slices

with dry seed and leek jam,

and your choice

of German muffin.

What the

is a German muffin?

Oh, good Lord.

I call the bed.

Awesome.

I hate this place.

This place is

the exact opposite of SkyMall.

Listen to this.

"Dear Quiet Corn,

"thank you for

your beautiful inn.

"My wife and I

spent three nights

of ecstasy in this room."

Gosh.

There are no TVs anywhere.

This place is

lamer than outside.

I'm chillin'.

What was that?

Gin.

Here you come,

sleeping in the tent

Oh, my God.

Sleeping in the tent

I found you.

Oh, I found you

And I had to fight a squirrel

Where have you been?

I told you I was

gonna take you camping,

didn't I?

Yeah.

Well, I'm taking

you camping.

Look at this.

This is what I had set up

at the other campsite.

Except for it was

way nicer there.

But this'll do.

I've got some champagne.

And I had to drink

most of it to survive.

So, I'm kind

of buzzed right now.

I'm just glad

you're here.

Can we make out now?

Now, you have

to understand that,

at the time,

I genuinely thought

that you and I would

never see each other again.

I completely understand.

That's what

makes you so amazing.

No.

Ann Perkins. Amazing.

Oh, no.

Oh, no?

Oh, no.

No, no, no. I wasn't

saying that

I thought we should

get back together again.

But you said...

You indicated...

Oh, my God.

This is happening again.

I have to move, right?

Yeah. I'm gonna

leave the country.

Bye, everybody. Bye.

Hey.

Hey. Couldn't sleep?

No.

My room was

filled with cat hair

and cat smell and actual cats.

Roughly 12 cats.

Sounds delightful.

Leslie, what are you doing?

I am listening to

Steal My Sunshine by Len.

A one-hit wonder, like me.

You're not a one-hit wonder.

Well, I will be.

I peaked at

the Harvest Festival, Ron.

Years from now,

people are gonna say,

"Remember that woman

who came up with

the Harvest Festival idea

"and never came up

with another idea again?

What happened to her?

"What was her name? Kim?

Anyway, who cares?

"She's stupid,

and she's dead now."

For the first time ever,

the Parks Department

has real momentum.

And I'm gonna ruin it

for everybody.

You've done more for

this group of people

than anyone else.

You're the only reason

we all still have jobs.

I think we'll be okay.

Yeah? Okay.

Well, I'd love to

chit chat about this,

but I need

to keep working. Okay?

And keep pushing

so that my

breakthrough will happen

and I will be ready for it.

You know what?

I just had an idea

for a new project.

Really?

Yes.

Yes, I think this

could be really good.

What is it?

Come with me.

Right through here.

Wait. What's happening?

Ron! Ron,

what are you doing?

This is my idea.

You're gonna

shut your brain down

and go to sleep,

and I'm gonna stay out here

and guard the door

so you can't leave.

No! Ron!

You've been thinking

about work nonstop for years.

It's time to rest.

All my binders

are downstairs!

Shhh!

All due respect, Ms. Clack,

stick a German muffin in it.

Fair enough.

I'm just gonna go to bed.

Just call it a night.

I already checked,

Leslie. The transom

is painted shut.

Damn it.

Oh, my God. There's like,

50 cats in here.

Where's Leslie?

Not 100% sure.

Should we reschedule,

or...

Nope. She'll be here.

Good morning.

So, I just slept seven hours,

which is twice as

long as I usually sleep.

So, I'm a little

disoriented.

But I did wake up

with a million ideas.

And Ron would not

let me have any paper,

so I had to write

them down on this doily.

We should buy a telescope

and make

the old ranger station

in Ramsett Park

an observatory.

That way,

we could sell tickets

and have class trips.

I like it. We'll take...

Good.

We'll have theme

night at the park.

We could have singles,

date night,

seniors and we could have

a city-wide yard sale,

which would be part auction,

part Antiques Roadshow.

And then,

we could have the professors

from the community college

come in and assign

value to the objects.

And then,

we could split the profits

with the school.

It would be

a lot of fun.

I'll see you boys later.

Bye, Ron.

They say you're only as good

as your last idea.

I say you're only as good

as the people you work with.

Leslie Knope is back.

Ha-ha!

Oh, my God.

My breath is so bad.

Yeah, she died,

like, 20 minutes after that.